“Okay, so what do you want to know?”
Twilight turned to Dipper and looked him straight in the eye.
“First: What were you doing in my house? Second: If you’re from another planet, how did you get here? Do you have some kind of transportation mechanism? Third: Would you be up for answering a couple million questions I have for you about your culture?"
Dipper could swear on his life that he thought he saw Twilight’s eyes go different directions for half a second.
“Uhhh… moment with my sister?”
“Sure, sure.”
Dipper grabbed Mabel and they huddled in the corner, speaking in whispers.
“What do you think we should tell them?”
“Well, first we tell them that we found a sparkly pointy do-dad, then we opened a magic hole through space and time while fighting invisible creatures. Then-”
“That’s just it, Mabel. What do we tell them? I mean, we look like we got sucked in your Twinkle-face show.”
“Twinkleshine. It’s Twinkleshine Dipper.”
“Whatever! As I was saying, would they believe us? And then this leads me to another question. What if they’re not even ponies, but evil shape-shifters trying to seduce us into thinking we can trust them?”
“I highly doubt that, Dip-dop.”
“Even if they’re not can they take any of this seriously? The pur- Twilight, just said she was the princess of freaking friendship. Friendship!! This place is probably full of sparkles and rainbows and we’re never going to get home and-”
“Dipper, friendship is amazing! It can solve any problem! Like the time I fell from the loft in our house. Even with my 5 broken ribs, I was able to recover with the magic of friendship.”
“That was the magic of surgery and the hospital, Mabel.”
“Potato, Potahto!!”
*grunt* “Back to my original question, should we tell them or not?”
“They seem nice.”
“They do, but you never know. Even so, the big temple we found the thing in, it showed people bowing down to a knife which I can only guess was the blade I still have in my vest. I mean, come on Mabel, people were bowing to it! It must have been pretty important. And not only people, there were robots, vampires, I think? Unicorns, wait a minute… unicorns could that be referring to them…?”
“Hey!! Don’t let that train of thought leave the station, bro! Back to Earth! Uh, I mean Terra? Or...uh…?”
“Kay, kay. I got it. So, do we have the final verdict?”
“As much as I hate to say it, I’m on board with you.”
“Okay so, what should we tell them?”
“I may have a...few.... good ideas…”
Twilight tapped her hoof impatiently.
What was taking them so long? What could they possibly talking about?
Right as she opened her mouth to ask why they were taking so long, they both nodded their heads simultaneously and turned to face Twilight with rather...cheesy grins on their faces.
“Are you both done?”
The twins shook their heads rapidly.
Her face went from concern to not having a care in the world.
“Great! So, what planet do you come from?”
Dipper shot a sideways glance at his sister.
“Uhh…”
She waggled an eyebrow and stepped forward, inhaling deeply.
“We come from planet Tribillglork, a planet made entirely from cheese. When we get hungry, we just eat off the floor. Our whole planet is inhabited entirely from people like us, with the exception of lollipop fairy kittens and walking desk lamps made from ramen noodles. One day, we saw Terra floating around in the atmosphere and it caused a total eclipse with one of our 17 billion suns. So we decided ‘hey, wouldn’t it be great to meet the creatures on planet Booboobutt? (that’s we call your planet.) So we assembled a rocket made of TNT and dynamite and flew it way up high, but then we remembered it was made of dynamite, but by that point it was already exploded. So we fell down down down then BOOM! By the power of my best friend Nyan Cat, Me and Noodle-limbs over here were carried safely down to your planet! Then we met some hot boys and they told us that the prettiest mare of all lied in Equestria, but then I got jealous and punched them in the face because I knew I was the prettiest. Well, not a mare, but I knew what they meant. So me and Dipper conjured a teddy bear with our friendship wands and rode it all the way to where you live, to find this pretty mare. But this world has made our magic powers disappear because it’s magic, and we’re magic, and they cancel each other out. Anyways, we heard that this pretty person lived inside of your sparklarific castle so we crashed through the top. Then I fixed the hole with my mind lasers and that’s when you found us. So tell me, Twilight, how do you get so pretty?”
“...”
Twilight said nothing. Absolutely nothing. You could almost see the silence that hung in the air. Then, over the span of ten seconds, she nodded her head and began to slowly scribble down notes.
Pinkie butted her way to the front.“Oh my gosh you live on a planet made of cheese that is so amazingly amazing I just want to scream and shout and do you have ice cream and cake on that planet because if you don’t I would totally come over and visit and bring you all cake does it rain chocolate milk over there because if it does I’ll have to introduce you to my other friend Discord he loves chocolate milk and I do too is their chocolate rivers over there what about the lolli---mmmmpppphhh!”
A purple glow began to come from Pinkie’s mouth, before a large metal zipper appeared out of thin air and zipped her hay-hole shut.
Twilight didn’t even blink.
Her pen stopped moving. “Okay, so you came to find us because I was...pretty?” A blush crept up her cheeks. Rarity gave a “Humph!” noise and stuck her muzzle in the air with indignation.
“Yeah!”
“Well, I’ll see what I can do to answer your question. But first answer mine.”
“Okey Dokey!”
From the back of the room, Pinkie’s high pitched voice started whining. She had clearly unzipped herself.
“LOKEY!!! You forgot the lokey part!”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Ignore her. Now, i’ve made note of your story and it seems there are some slight...scientific inaccuracies.”
“What?!?” Mabel stuck out her tongue and blew an obnoxious raspberry. “Come on, I am the honest person I know! Would I lie?”
Dipper face-...clawed? (Twilight was going to say ‘hoofed’, but these creatures clearly didn’t have hooves.)
“I don’t know! I just met you 20 minutes ago! Back on topic, ummm…”
Twilight scanned her notes and smiled. It was her turn to ramble.
“Okay, so you say you have 17 billion suns, who would control them? Or do they rotate on their own? Many unicorn astronomers such as Galanayo have proved the existence of ‘Solar Systems’, where the Sun is massive and stationary, while several planets rotate around it. We, obviously live in a ‘Celestial Static’ where our celestial orbs are unmoving, and must be manually rotated around the planet. Which one do you live in? Because if you live in a C.S., that would take quite a lot of magic. Do you guys have, like 17 billion Alicorns over there? If so, they all must be as powerful as Princess Celestia. Or, I suppose you could keep all of the Suns stationary and spread them an equal distance apart. But if we caused an eclipse, shouldn’t we have seen your 17 billion Suns? Or at least the one we were on top of? Also, If that much light was coming from your planet, wouldn’t we have seen it by now? If you can see us, then we can see you. And it would be the brightest thing in our night sky. And you would all be dead, if that much light and heat was constantly coming down at you. Also how were you able to get a dynamite rocket off the ground? Why is it that only when you realized it was off the ground did it explode? How were there ‘hot boys’ on Equestria? I can only guess that you are implying that they the same species, no? If your magic stopped working here then how were you able to fix a hole in my ceiling with your…*cough* mind lasers? And, the most puzzling question of all, Why on Terra would you think I’m pretty?”
Mabel said nothing and stared at the floor intently.
Dipper started mumbling to himself. (Someone tried to prove Mabel’s imagination wrong with science oh boy they are going to get it Twilight is going to die…)
Finally, After a long time of pondering these questions, Mabel’s head shot up and met Twilight’s. She gave her a one word answer.
“Pie.”
If Twilight’s temper was a twig, then you could say it was being gently bent.
“And how does...pie...answer my questions?”
“Pie is the answer to everything. There is a vast and almost infinite amount of combinations one could have under patterned bread crusts.”
The twig snapped cleanly in two.
“THAT’S IT. I GIVE UP!” shrieked Twilight, blipping her notes out of existence.
“Does anyone want to take over? I am on the brink over keeling over on this very spot! These two are IMPOSSIBLE!! Clawhauser, where have you been? The last I saw you, you were about to explode from the prospect of discovering a species unknown to Equestria! You haven’t said a word to them! I forgot you existed!” She said with an accusing tone in her voice.
Dr. Clawhauser turned her head and face the group from where she was tending to a couple of water sprites.
“Ummm… I’ve been told by many that I get too...hyper around new creatures so I, um, run my tests once I’m alone.” She scuffed a hoof on the ground. She seemed very self-conscious about what the others thought.
At that momment, a small contraption on a dainty wooden table made a large obnoixious buzzing noise and the sound repeated three times back to back.
“What is that? It’s gonna blow my eardrums out!” Dipper whined.
The ponies wondered the same thing.
Clawhauser stood up abruptly from the small aquarium and brushed herself off with a hoof. “That’s to let me know if somepony’s at the door. I have to make it loud because sometimes...I’m not really paying attention to much.” Her eyes swept the room and she turned her back, ascending the creaky stairs to the first floor lab.
Seconds later, All the beings in the basement. Heard the slightly muffled voice of Clawhauser welcoming the guests. It abruptly cut off, met by a blood-curdling scream from Clawhauser. The ponies looked at one another with frightful expression and dashed up the steps, ignoring the protest of “Hey, wait!!” from Dipper.
Twilight came to a stop at the top of the staircase and her planned actions of aiding the monster specialist came to a halt. Her friends behind her bumped into her, for she was blocking traffic, causing them all to get a nice faceful of each other’s flanks. The complaints they were ready to spew out died on their tongue when they saw who was at the door.
All the ponies stooped into low bows, except Twilight and Shining Armor. Shining Armor saluted. A smile came to Twilight’s face.
“Princess!”
There, standing in the doorway, flanked by two unicorn guards, was the Solar Princess of Equestria, with her warm smile she always wore in Twilight’s presence.
However, that smile would not remain for much longer.