//------------------------------// // Into The Wild // Story: Mundane and Mystical // by Thatonedingus //------------------------------// Alright; it’s finally time to finish up the introduction to how I ended up where I am today. There were five ponies waiting for us when we got to that quaint station. The earth ponies Applejack and Pinkie Pie, the unicorn Rarity, and the pegasus Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. I really hope they don’t end up reading this, because holy shit are those names stupid to me. Hell, most names in this world are. I’m not making any friends with that statement, but oh well. The naming conventions are so weird here. I mean, the only names that I can think of off the top of my head that didn’t make me cringe when I first heard them were Luna, Celestia, and Lyra. Lyra was a pony that ended up becoming more interested in me than Twilight ever did. No, not in a romantic sense, it was a horse. Even if they are sentient I’m not one to commit bestiality. I’m getting way ahead of myself anyway. After stepping off the train, those five were waiting for me. “What the hay!?” Applejack exclaimed when she saw me. The rest of them followed up with similar expressions of surprise. To be perfectly frank I was surprised as well. No other pony had questioned what I was doing around Twilight except these ponies. It’s only natural that her friends are more casual about questioning what she is doing. “Um, this is Josef.” She said awkwardly, “He will be staying with me for some time while I run some tests and conduct some research.” “Well it’s nice to meetcha!” Applejack said, extending her hoof out to me which I promptly shook. “Yes, of course.” Rarity said in her typical way. “Ooooo, a new friend!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed in such a way that her voice made my ears ring. “I’ll have to show you all around town and make you some cupcakes and oh I know we will have a party to welcome you.” “I don’t think that’s the most prudent decision.” Rarity said smiling to Pinkie. “I agree.” Twilight said as she stretched. “Besides; I’ve never been one for parties. Also, I’m to be a topic of research for the foreseeable future.” “Are you excited to get to work?” Twilight asked me that with a strange grin. “I suppose. What are you going to do? Shock me and see what happens, put me under an x-ray and study my anatomy, like, can you give me a general rundown of the kind of prodding we’re talking about.” “Yes, but I also want to put you under physical duress to see how you react to stress. You have amazing reflexes and endurance I had never seen before! Sufficed to say I am interested in every facet of your anatomy.” “This is getting too science-y for me.” Rainbow Dash said as she started to fly away. Rarity, with her eyes closed proceeded to say, “Science-y isn’t a word dear.” I swear to the spirits above, if Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes any harder, they would have come right out of her skull. We finished up our more casual conversation and began to start making our way towards Twilight’s home. It was simply a repurposed library, but I was just happy that I would have a bed to sleep on. The town itself was quaint. Don’t get me wrong though, quaint is a compliment. I truly enjoy these older looking towns. The architecture was designed after medieval human designs with their own little twists here and there. For instance, while we would use more muted colors for our homes, they would use the entire rainbow. The roads were well kept; it probably helps that they don’t drive cars on them though. The ponies there were friendly enough. None of them were too particularly excited to speak with me, but they all smiled at either me or Twilight; mostly Twilight to be perfectly frank. The library that would become my home for the foreseeable future was built into a tree. It was massive. I don’t really have too many adjectives to describe it other than massive. The structure within the tree was composed of a main room, a bedroom, a guest room, a bathroom, a small kitchen with a lab that sat underneath the tree. Twilight led me into my quarters, and they were all I could have ever wanted. It looked like it was a repurposed printing room. There was a twin sized bed with a desk and lamp sitting within. There was also a chair sitting right next to the door. “What do you think?” Twilight asked as she peered into the room with me. “Well, it’s better than anything I had ever had before. So, you know, pretty awesome.” I said it nonchalantly but on the inside I was screaming. My own room! Also, on that desk I would write my first ever piece after a few weeks in Equestria. Perhaps, if time allows, I will show it to you lovely readers. “I’m glad.” She said with more composure than I had seen her with since we left Celestia’s lab. As far as demeaner was concerned she was usually nervous or awkward. I would have expected her to be more ‘perfect’ as a princess stereotypically should be. I guess I shouldn’t always believe in stereotypes. Although with that being said there are a fair few in this world. “So…. would you please go further into what exactly you plan on doing to me for your research? You said you wanted to see how my body reacts under extreme stress?” I asked, stretching and sitting down on the bed. “Well, my plan is to, uhm, how do I put this, hurt you…” She said it with a level of shame I didn’t expect from the extremely curious scientist. “You have a healing factor yes? Back on the train you must have had something like that or else that kick would have shattered you.” “I can’t die. Plain and simple. Although, I’m going to ask that you don’t test it too much. When I got hit on the train, I felt it. I felt my bones shatter and reform. Granted that pain didn’t last long, and I have an extreme tolerance for pain, but still.” “Not even a little grievous bodily harm?” “If you’re going to hold me down and drive a stake through me, take it out, and watch my body repair itself, it’s what you’re going to do. I just prefer to avoid that pain. It really, really hurts. If you want to research and study my anatomy, perhaps we could do some field tests. If I’m going to be turned into goo, I’d rather it be doing something productive rather than for meaningless science.” “Now I do like field tests…” Twilight rubbed her chin and looked back at me. “First I want to take a blood sample. After that, we’ll figure out what to do.” She smiled so innocently, but holy shit is that girl not innocent. We ended up walking down into the lab and the place was much smaller than the lab in Canterlot. It was mostly just a table full of beakers, vials of mysterious substances, and some magical objects. The magical objects mostly consisted of runes and charms, however there was one rod attached to a small stand. She called the rod a magnifier, something that she could use to enhance her magic. Needless to say, I don’t know why she would need something like this. Perhaps she wasn’t always this strong and it was a recent development that gave her the amount of power she has. She doesn’t talk about her past all too much. “Alright, so a blood test? Just warning you, you’ll need a really big sharp needle and a fair amount of force.” “Why do you say that?” She asked. “The last time I tried to stick a needle into me my body just pushed it out. Honestly, your best bet for a blood sample would be a bowl and a knife. Also, it’ll give you another chance to look at my regeneration factor.” “Good idea!” She happily skipped over to one of the desks to grab a scalpel as I sat down in a chair with a bowl at my feet. The surgical instrument was being held by her magic and it was sharper than sharp. “Hand me the knife, I’d rather do it myself.” With those words spoken she placed the instrument in my lap. I picked it up and it was lighter than air itself. I brought the blade to my left wrist and with one quick rip I brought it up my wrist and let the blood flow into the bowl. Twilight watched closely as, within a second, my wound disappeared; and within another second the scar tissue had disappeared. “That’s incredible!” She said as she walked around me. “I suppose it is.” I said with a smug sense of satisfaction I had not earned. My blood is not the red mess that is in most humans. It’s more of a black and green liquid when inside my body which turns into more of a sludge when exposed to oxygen. No, that blood does literally nothing for me. It’s just gross looking and smells bad. Most of my deformities correlate to some kind of power, except that, it’s just gross. “Has there ever been anything that has stopped the regeneration process?” Twilight asked as she walked over to me to see the lack of scar tissue where I had slit my wrists. “Never.” I was confident in that answer, because; simply, it was the truth. If I was shot, the bullet would be pushed out of my body and the wound was closed. If I was cut, the flesh would mend. If my bones were ever broken they would just realign themselves. “I must add though,” I stood up and started scanning the room once more, “Just because it heals nearly instantly, I still feel the pain. I have nearly passed out from shock before. Granted that was when I was just learning to master my own body, but still. My pain tolerance has risen sharply though, and getting shot is more akin to a bee sting that anything else at this point. However, being bucked like that was certainly something I wasn’t used to.” I laughed. “Fascinating!” Twilight said as she opened the door. “Well, it will take a while to analyze that sample, is there anything you wanted to do with the rest of the day?” “I might go hunting actually. I’ve this weird feeling that there are only vegetarian options and I’ll have to find my own meat if I want any.” “What did you plan to hunt?” Twilight asked nervously as I began to walk out the door. “Whatever I find I guess.” “These laws usually don’t come up very often, but hunting normal animals is strictly prohibited. You can’t hunt deer, bears, rabbits, or anything of that sort.” “So what can I hunt? Sure, I could live off of beans and veggies, but I like a little meat to spice it up.” “There is a job board at the pub in town square. You might find something there that needs to be done that could lead to something…” She gulped, “Edible. “Perfect!” By the time that conversation has ended I was most of the way out the door. “Just be careful!” She yelled after me. “There are a lot of monsters on that board that most ponies can’t handle. It’s usually only handled by soldiers and mercenaries.” “I’ll be home late!” I yelled back, completely disregarding what she said. The walk to the pub was a simple one. The library was near the mayor’s office which also sat on the town square. The pub itself was a typical Irish pub, except replace alcoholics with unexpectedly merry ponies drinking various ciders. In the back of the pub there was a board with various notices. The payouts were all whatever was found as well as whatever money was put up for completion. The number of bits that I would have gotten ranged anywhere from fifty to ten thousand. “Monster, monster, monster…” I muttered under my breath as I looked over the board with these totally alien names. “Hmm, a marilith. The picture kind of looks like a snake, I’ve never had snake before but it can’t be that bad. Plus, five thousand bits. Whatever the means.” I ripped the notice from the board and every pony in the room gasped. Apparently that post had been taken down and put back up five times. Each time the pony who had taken it never came back. When the barkeep who had put it up each time told me this, I looked at him, smiled and said, “I’m really hungry.” I ran off towards the woods and I was on the hunt.