Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino


Tales of the Macabre

One Chilled Hallow's Eve I rose and sat down to writing
For non have bothered to propose to the party, my invitings.
So I crafted a macabre tale. There, in my darkened room,
To achieve literary justice, and send each to their DOOM!!!

We start with the most expendable. Greeting, Ms. Applejack
For this worker, a stew of applesauce to slowly hack!

Ah'm gonna get ya back soon, Mister Voice! One daaaaaaa....!

What's this? Princess of Love, Cadence? Considering a new man?

Cadence!? Have you seen Flurry Heat's diapers? I left right next to your toothbrush.
Crystal Crystal, on the ball. I need myself a new husband ya'll!

But the gypsy forces she envoked
decided they would play a joke!

AAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOO!!!! Hey there, my love horse! This suit isn't going to clean itself!
NEW!!! Oh, what's that say? NOO!!!

And now we join a mare of-

Hey! What about my doom!?

Uh... you're already Bob. No sense in beating a dead horse.

Oh, good point.

And now we join a mare obsessed with dresses and decorations,
And fanciness with perfection.

And now, to add some of this glowing thread to my house.

But you all know how these things go with unnatural magic.
A puff of smoke, a greenish glow, voila! Abomination attack!

What the-!? This was suppose to reduce my overhead! Not turn into my head!

*NOM!!!*

These two Libmans need to say bye.
Let's eliminate a certain trait's shy!

... Oh! I can talk normal! WAZZUP!!!
WAZZUP!!!

Uh... then she exploded and killed Pinkie from a ton of gas... yeah.

Cop out!

Rainbow Dash, fast as the wind,
But how fast can she fly if her limbs can't bend!

What the-!? Huh... this isn't so bad. This kinda gives me the good vibes, surprisingly.

Well I'll revise then, if you please.
What if each leg had several knees?

Hey! This is even better! Feels like I'm walking through pudding... and I love pudding! Mr. Voice, what you're doing isn't even scary... or original.

Ooh! Now there's an idea! A crafy fad, once loved by all.
I'll hang you on a 70's basement wall!

AHH!!! MACRAME!!! MY SECOND WORST NIGHTMARE!!!
But Dash? Daring Do does it all the time in the later books.
I KNOW!!! IT SLOWS EVERYTHING DOWN AND IT'S SLOW!!!
Get outta my house, you Patton Oswalt sounding horse!

Nightmare Night is very handy
For those with appetites for candy
Except for Greedy Trick or Treaters
Such as a Twilight and Spike-ier.

But I'm too old for Trick or teating.
I'm not!

All night long, they gathered their sweets
And passed upon the growing heat.
When struck the midnight hour,
'Twas not just Candy Twilie devoured

*Cough*! *Cough!* Spike?... NOOO!!!

That's not Macabre! In your fetish world, she eats Spike everyday! How else does she give him baths without raising the bill?

Oh fine! Well I saved the most macabre for last

I'd like to see you get Maca-Bre on meh!

Deadpool, as he always does, loves to check new stuff from his fans.
But what all the chicks he'd love were now a man!

AHH!!! THE GAYNESS!!! I can't look at anywoman the same!

Now all have meet their grizzly fate, each horrors for you to see
For chance that next time, they think twice, before not inviting me!


"Well, that was awful." Deadpool spoke, walking in to the castle. He paused. "What? Jojo's Bizarre Adventure to be continued? Why are you-?" A changeling Chloroformed him.