//------------------------------// // Clarity of preception // Story: Rot // by Mister E //------------------------------// The rot. It’s all I can see anymore. You would think there has to be some place to escape it. Or at least some place where it wasn’t all around me, but there isn’t. Not on this world, not in this universe. It makes a sound you know. Rot. Rotting. It’s dry and raspy. It’s the sound of sound when sound starts to end. You think it fades? It does not. At the moment the vibration ends, it rots. It decomposes into nothingness. You want to argue? You want to use science to prove me wrong? Use science against me? ME?!? Sorry. It’s the rot. It’s inside of me you see. Oh, it’s in you too, you just can’t see it… or hear it. Goddess that sound is maddening. It’s my own fault of course. I asked him to do it. I wanted to understand. That’s my curse, I always have to try and understand everything. But there are reasons that some things are not known to us. We are limited you see, our minds… our minds aren’t large enough. We are too sane. Well, some of us are. Were. I’m working on it. It all started innocently enough. He came with us on a picnic. By then we were used to him tagging along. He had it bad for Fluttershy, and we all knew it, including her. If it was any of the rest of us it might have been a problem. Not so much because of his looks, but his personality. When he really got going he made even Pinkie Pie look tame by comparison. Honestly, I don’t know why she put up with it. But it was her business. Anyway it was a pretty standard picnic. We all sat out in the field, ate, chatted together. Rainbow and Apple Jack played games with Pinkie Pie, Rarity worked on some embroidery, while Spike just sat there watching her. I don’t know how long she intends to keep this up. She told me once that she finds all the attention flattering, but that she is going to let him down when the moment is right. It must be a tricky thing, because it’s been going on for four years now. I’m starting to wonder if Spike might actually be wearing her down. Maybe he DOES have a chance. He’d better hurry, before the rot gets her. So while all that was going on, Discord was showing Fluttershy his latest bag of tricks. I had been trying to read, but they were sitting next to me under the shade of a tree, and Discord was in his ‘loud mode’. Probably just because I was trying to read. So, being left with no other options, I decided to watch. It was maddening. He just does whatever he wants. Whatever occurs to him at any given moment. No spells that took years to master. No strain calling upon unseen forces and bending them to his will. No preparation, no effort, no cost to him at all. He just snaps his claws and there it is. ‘Poof’. Cosmic rules that govern the very nature of the universe? He breaks those just making breakfast. Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’m jealous or anything. I mean just because I AM the Element of Magic, and I’m forced to sit and watch him bring impossibilities into existence right before my eyes that I will never in a hundred lifetimes be able to do myself… Alright, perhaps I was a little jealous. “I hate the way you can just do that.” I didn’t mean to say that. It just slipped out, under my breath, but of course HE heard it. “Why, whatever do you mean my dear Twilight? Float effortlessly through the air? Always know just what to say? Or could you mean this?” He says, snapping his claw, causing an entire three ring circus to appear in mid air, all being run by chipmunks. (Admittedly the lion tamer was quite impressive). “Yes, THAT!” I said in irritation, as he snapped it all away. "It hurts my brain, you just snap up anything you want with no effort, no cost! Magic isn’t like that, and yet you do it anyway, it doesn’t make sense!” I expected a standard, ‘it’s chaos, it isn’t supposed to make sense’, type of reply. But instead he surprised me. “Oh Twilight, you are so very wrong, and yet, for once, you are so very right as well.” “Huh,” I said my thoughts derailed. I was right? “What do you mean?” “Well you were wrong, in supposing that I was using magic to power what I do, I do not. But you were right in that there is a cost. There is ALWAYS a cost dear Twilight, you just cannot perceive it with your limited pony senses.” I knew I was setting myself up for a burn, but I was too curious not to ask. “Could you… explain it to me?” “Why of course, my dear. But not just now, it’s too beautiful a day to waste on such trivial matters. And I’m sure my dear Fluttershy would be bored to tears. Why don’t we just relax and enjoy ourselves today, and I’ll pop by for lunch tomorrow and let you know all about it. Sound good?” Was there a catch? Didn’t there almost have to be with him? But he did agree in front of Fluttershy, and she would certainly call him out if he lied to me. I forced a broad smile onto my muzzle. “Sure, that sounds great, another cucumber sandwich?” I offered, a gesture of goodwill. “How delightful, thank you ever so much.” He said accepting the sandwich from my magic with whatever he used as his own and taking dainty bites from it in midair. The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. I suppose we had fun. I must admit I was distracted by the thoughts of finally understanding how Discord works. Aside from Pinkie Pie, it was one of the things that had bothered me the most. I barely slept at all that night, and didn’t even bother with breakfast, (which turned out to be a huge mistake), as I got out a fresh supply of quills, ink, and parchment from the basement. I planned to document each and every word, so I could pour over it later for every iota of hidden meaning that I just knew he was going to try and sneak by me. Yes, he DID promise to tell me the mechanics of how he performed his tricks, but that didn’t mean he had to tell me in a way I would understand. No, I was ready for him to try and trick me. (Could I have been more wrong?). Promptly at noon he appeared. I was waiting for him in the study as he poof’d in out of midair into a comfy chair just opposite me. I never asked him how he always knew where we all were. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t like the answer. “So,” he said, rubbing his claws together expectantly, “what’s for lunch?” “Um, I had hoped we could have our talk first. But afterwords, we can have anything you want to eat. My treat.” Although I was getting hungry after skipping breakfast, I didn’t want to get distracted until I learned whatever I could. Who knew when Discord would ever decide to be so forthcoming again. “Ah. Well, as tempting as that sounds, I really do think you should eat something before we begin. It could be… awhile… before you’ll want to dine again once we finish. Our discussion will probably get a bit… involved.” He was stalling. I didn’t know why, but that was the impression I got. Well, I wasn’t going to let hunger distract me. “Oh, I’m sure I’ll be fine. Now then, you were going to explain to me just how you do what you do?” Discord’s face lost it’s joviality, suddenly he looked serious, almost sad. Were his secrets so personal to him? Was that it? “Twilight, as a cosmically powerful entity, I don’t consider myself bound by time and space. I can see more of the great tapestry than even Celestia or Luna. I knew that today would come. I knew we would have our little talk. But right here, right now, I’m giving you a chance to change your mind. To just forget all about it, and go see about lunch. I’m saying this Twilight, as a friend. Because once you learn the information you are after, then you can never UN-learn it. It will stay with you forever.” He sits there, looking at me with what appears to be complete honesty and sincerity. Ha! I KNEW IT. He’s trying to get me to let him off the hook. He can just go back to Fluttershy and tell her I changed my mind. And if I bring it up again later he’ll just say ‘you had your chance!’ Nice try Discord, but no luck. “Well, I really appreciate your concern, but I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to learn more about one of my most enigmatic ‘friends’ could I?” “No,” he says sadly, “I suppose you couldn’t.” He snaps his claw and suddenly we are… I have no idea. I see energy flashing off of… I don’t know what, some type of orb that is rapidly disintegrating. The color isn’t anything I can describe. And there’s a loud roaring sound. A horrible sound. A sound that every fiber of my being finds abhorrent. “It’s the sound I think, that’s the worst of it. Not the smell, not even the sight of it, although that is horrible enough, but that sound. Nothing should be able to make a sound like that, wouldn’t you agree?” He asks me, causally glancing my way. I nod. It’s all I can do. He couldn’t hear me over this cacophony even if I screamed. How was I able to hear him then? “I want you to close your eyes Twilight. I’m about to take us back, but I want you to keep your eyes closed until I finish my explanation, all right?” Right now I’d have agreed to anything just to make that sound stop. I nod once more, and squeeze my eyes tightly shut. A moment later, the sound stops. On reflex I attempt to open my eyes, but find I can’t. “Ah, I didn’t think you’d be able to fight your instincts. But that’s all right, I’ve sealed them shut for you. Don’t worry, I’ll unstick them as soon as I’ve finished my spiel.” I can feel that I’m back in my chair, it’s even still warm. I have no idea how long we were… wherever that was, but it couldn’t have been very long. “Now, the first part of my explanation has to do with where we just were. I assume you understood what we were seeing? “Uh, well… not exactly.” I admitted, to my personal shame. “Tisk, tisk. Such a barbaric world I chose to live on. We were viewing the radioactive decay of carbon-14 in the upper atmosphere of Equestria. It was supposed to be the simplest way to explain this to you. Obviously I’ll need to dumb this way, way, down.” Now he’s just being mean. Which is better than him being mopey I guess. “Simply put Twilight, I use the energy of entropy. Decay. Rot. That chair you are sitting in. Even as we speak it’s rotting away. Tiny bits of itself breaking down into smaller and smaller components, releasing just the tiniest bit of energy each time as it does so. Where does my power come from? All around you! Everywhere! Every thing, every pony, the grass, the trees, the sun in the sky. Everything rots!” “The power of...decay? S-so you have some way of detecting this energy? Of controlling it? Using it?” I say, reeling at the implications of his words. An almost infinite power source! No wonder he can do anything! “Can this be taught? Can other beings learn it?” “You mean ‘can YOU learn it?’ Isn’t that what you are really trying to say?” His voice is over my shoulder. He knows what my reply is going to be. “Yes." I admit. "But not just for myself." I add quickly. "Think of all the good I could do for Equestria! I’d use my power to help ponies, not just squander it making chocolate rain, and cotton candy clouds. I’d use it for the sake of the world!” “Oh, is that what YOU’D do, is it? You think I’m squandering my powers? Foolish pony, I’m saving this planet every time I snap my claw.” He’s getting angry. But I’m not sure why, all I’ve told him was the truth. Actually I’ve spared him the worst of it. Personally I see him as some kind of all powerful clown, just snapping his immortal life away. He could be doing so much more. He could turn Equestria into a utopia. He’s worse than just a clown, he’s an irresponsible god. “Well now you’ve gone and hurt my feelings.” He says, sounding more angry than hurt. I know I didn’t speak just now, he’s reading my mind. “Well of course I am. Everyone’s really. I need something to drown out that sound. But you’ll have to deal with that soon enough. Now bear with me as I finish my explanation, and then we can finally get this unpleasant business over with. Right then. So you think I am wasting my power do you? Well I think it’s about time I educated you a little on the nature of the universe. The universe, my dear Miss Sparkle, wants you all to die. No, I’m not exaggerating, nor am I being the least bit melodramatic. There are two great forces in all of existence that are constantly at odds with each other. Order, and Chaos. You, with your science and your books, you think that 'order' is a good thing don’t you? Fah! Do you know what order strives for? What it’s end game is? Nothingness! A vast empty void of pure nothingness. Perfect, absolute, ORDER. And do you know what Chaos wants my dear deluded Twilight? Life! Life in it’s infinite diversity! Chaos is creation, creation with wild joyous abandon! Chaos is thought, imagination, inventiveness! You my dear Twilight are more a creature of Chaos than you ever were of order! As are all of your friends, especially Pinkie Pie. But for everything Chaos creates, order is there to break it down. Order pulls and tugs at everything that isn’t pure void. Corrupting it, leeching energy from it, causing it to wither and die, causing each little molecule to separate back into it’s orderly little components, smaller and smaller, until nothing remains. Ah, but that’s where I come in. I steal the energy released from the rotting of creation, I bring new things into being. But most importantly I keep that energy from being lost to the void.” “Lost to the void? Why? Why is that important?” I ask, trying to keep up with what he is telling me. “Because,” he says, sounding like he’s about to say something really clever that I should have already figured out. “Matter and energy are the same thing! One becomes the other, back and forth, back and forth, Yin and Yang, over and over. Matter cannot ever really be destroyed, it just gets converted into energy. But even energy is unwelcome to Order. Perfect order is sameness. Neither one, nor the other. There are things out there Twilight. Things in the depth of space. Black holes that suck in both matter and energy. Cosmic vacuum cleaners with gravities so immeasurably strong as to be able suck in light itself. Every bit of energy I use, keeps it here on this world, in this universe. You have no idea what I do when I’m not taking time off to spend with you and your friends. I’ve created worlds! Suns, stars, comets, anything and everything I can imagine. My time spent with you ponies? Call those my weekends off, and vacations. Trust me, my dear, my work week is spent fighting to keep this universe from falling into Blackest Order! And all without so much as a single thank you.” “B-but… but if all that is true, then why don’t you ever SAY anything about it? Why do you pretend to be this insane madpony randomly trolling all of Equestria?” “Ah, well you see Twilight, that’s the thing. I’m NOT pretending.” Has the room suddenly gotten colder? Why am I suddenly shaking? “Oh, those are merely your new perceptions my dear.” Discord says, right next to my ear. “Your body is reacting to the menacing aura I am currently projecting. No worries though, just a test, just making sure that everything is functioning properly. These kinds of things are very tricky. It’s not an easy thing to fine tune another beings perceptions.” “What do you mean? What have you done?” I say, still shaking, and beginning to feel the slightest twinge of panic. “What have I done? Why I’ve given you what you wanted! You wanted to be able to perceive the energy I was talking about. You hoped that I would give you the means to control it like I do. And so I have! Once you open your eyes, you’ll understand everything. As for controlling it. Well, that will take both time and effort. But since you are immortal like Celestia and Luna, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it eventually. And with that, my work here is done. Don’t worry about lunch, I’ll take a rain check until the next time you feel hungry. And don't worry about seeing me out. Get it? 'seeing'. Ah, well, never mind. Enjoy your new found knowledge Twilight. I hope for your sake it was worth it.” I hear a snap, and suddenly my body stops shaking. He must have left. I can feel my eyelids come unstuck, I can open them once again. I do so. That was a mistake. My scream echos down the corridors of the castle. It’s quickly followed by another, then another, I can’t help myself, it’s everywhere! EVERYWHERE! “Twilight, what is it? What’s wrong?” It’s Spike, he’s come to see what’s happened to me. Unfortunately he can’t see it. And the sight of him makes me nearly vomit. Oh Goddess, he’s so disgusting. Everything… everywhere… it’s all around me! I close my eyes. That helps. Dear Goddess, I may never open them again! But I can hear it now as well. That sound. That horrible abhorrent sound. The same sound when Discord took me away, that dry, raspy sound. I know what it is now. I can see it, I can hear it. Rot. Everything. All around me! The furniture, the candles, the books, even Spike (shudder), oh Goddess, I’ll never get that image out of my mind. I can see the rot in all of them. Rotting right before my eyes. Spike’s little ball of energy, of life, getting smaller and smaller, all the while his body is being constantly consumed, eaten awayby all those... things, while he stands there oblivious. Horrible! Hideous! Oh Goddess, I understand now. Discord. He isn’t acting like a fool. He isn’t pretending to be crazy at all! An immortal like himself, having to see this every single day, hear this whispering every single minute? Of course he’s insane! Any being would be! And… and he even gave me a chance to change my mind. He cared about me! About all of us. We were all so wrong about him! “Twilight! Twilight! Tell me what to do, should I send a letter to the princess? Go get Starlight Glimmer? Twilight, you have to answer me!” Oh Spike. Even the sounds from your voice rot away. It makes no sense, sounds can’t rot. But that’s what my perceptions are telling me. Is that real, or did Discord make a mistake? He said tuning my perceptions would be tricky. “I’m… I’m okay Spike. Discord just showed me something unexpected is all. I just need a little time to come to terms with it. Send a letter to Celestia. Tell her I need to see her as fast as she can get here. And call Starlight Glimmer, have her come inside, but don’t let anypony else in. Not until I’ve talk to Starlight and Celestia first.” “Of course Twilight, I’ll take care of it right now. Is there anything I can do for you until they get here? Something to drink, or eat?” “Yes to both Spike, I haven’t eaten since last night. And also, if you could, bring me my thick red scarf. I n-need to make a blindfold. M-my eyes are a bit sensitive to light at the moment.” “Yeah, okay sure. I’ll be right back.” I hear him practically run down the corridor. He’s worried. I should be. Tartarus, I should be in full panic mode, but I feel almost calm. I think I’ve just gone so far past fear that I’m out the other side. I take a deep breath and let it out. Then I open my eyes once more. I clench my teeth together to keep from screaming again. I thought I was ready for it this time. I wasn’t. It’s just so disgusting. I can see it. Everywhere. The books are rotting on the shelves, the chair I’m sitting on is rotting under my hooves. Little bits of it sticking to my body. Oddly enough my body is the only thing that isn’t rotting. I'm not being eaten alive. It must be the immortality. The magic. Wait, that’s it! Magic. Preservation spells! I can cast them all over this room, over the whole castle! “Twilight? Spike told me you needed to see me.” Starlight says, trotting quickly into the room. I turned when she spoke. I looked right at her. “AAAAAAHHHHHIIIEEE!” I wailed, clamping my eyes shut. “Twilight! What’s wrong!” She says, coming over and holding me by the shoulders. She’s touching me, oh Goddess, she’s touching me!!! I shove her away violently, wiping my hooves on the arms of the chair. “P-please Starlight, just, just don’t get near me. W-we need to talk, but just please, please, don’t touch me!” “I-I don’t understand. But all right. Please, tell me what’s going on.” I spend the next few minutes explaining what has happened. Like me she was keenly interested in Discord’s abilities. That is, until I began to explain what I was able to see and hear now. “I see. And, am I really so disgusting to look at?” She asks, with hurt in her voice. “No Starlight. It isn’t ‘you’ that’s abhorrent. It’s what I see happening to you. The skin on your face peeling away, your hair... the spiders, all the little creatures crawling all over you, eating every little bit of dead flesh, and they in turn dying and rotting away, all over your body, every single sec-” “THAT’S ENOUGH!” Starlight says sharply. “I understand. I get it. Let’s just… just not talk about it okay?” “Fine by me.” I reply “I don’t want to even think about it.” “Agreed. So, what are we going to do about it?” “As far as my condition? I don’t think there is anything we CAN do about it. Or at least that was what Discord said. He told me if I chose this, that there was no way I could ever undo it. He even gave me a chance to change my mind.” “You can’t possibly be considering letting him off the hook! He didn’t tell you what you’d be in for before he did this! There’s no way you would have ever agreed to this knowing what would happen!” “Well,” I replied slowly, considering my words, “that’s not exactly true.” “You can’t be serious!” “To get a chance to learn to do what Discord does? To someday be as powerful as he is? Think of what I could accomplish!” “Listen to what you are saying! You think, what? You’ll get used to this? Get used to seeing everything rot away every minute of every day? To not be able to look at anypony without seeing them being eaten away before your eyes? Your saying that you’ll get used to seeing THAT?” “I- no… yes… I don’t know. Discord does it. He’s acclimated.” I offer lamely. “Discord is insane! He’s totally, completely, insane. And now we know why. Is that what you want your future to be?” “No. of course not. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If I can control this, just for a little while, if I can master Discord’s power, I can change this world for the better. Then, if there’s a way to turn me back to normal, we will.” Starlight was hesitant. She isn’t convinced I can hold it together. “Look, all I need is a haven, a place where I can keep my sanity. I had already come up with an idea before you came in. Listen, we can use preservation spells all over the castle, we can keep it all from rotting. That way, as long as I’m in the castle it won’t get to me.” “You are making a lot of assumptions here Twilight. What about your friends? What about if when you have to leave the castle? You can’t expect to stay in here forever.” I was about to offer another argument, but our conversation was interrupted. “Twilight, I’m back. I sent the letter to Celestia, she’ll be here within the hour. In the meantime I threw together a late lunch for you. Salad with mixed greens, a nice rice pilaf, and the last of that broccoli casserole you liked so much. I also made some fresh green tea. If there’s anything else I can get for you, just say the word.” “Thanks Spike. Actually, if you could do me one more favor, take Starlight down to the library, and show her my section on preservation spells. And if you could, give her a hoof carrying back what she thinks will be best. We may need more than one type for what I have in mind.” “Sure thing Twilight.” I can hear him hesitating at the door. “Um, you know you can tell me anything right. I get that something is going on. That scream, the way you wont turn toward me. I understand that it’s something you aren’t ready to tell me...” Spike has always been so loyal to me. And now I can’t even look him in the eye. “Spike, it isn’t like that. I just need a little bit of time to come to terms with things. I gave Starlight the gist of it, she can fill you in while you help her find my books. Really, I’m not trying to keep you out of the loop, it’s just that things all happened kind of suddenly. I’m… I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all, okay?” “Yeah. Okay. If you say so. The scarf you wanted is on the right side of the tray. Call me if you need anything else.” “Thank you Spike. You’re always so good to me. That’s why your my number one assistant.” I say, trying to force some cheer into my voice. I suppose it works, because they leave without further complaint. I’m glad they did. I was about to have to do something nightmarish. I was going to have to eat. I realized the moment I saw Spike why Discord had wanted me to eat something earlier. But of course, I turned him down. Now I was going to have to pay the price. My stomach was growling loud enough to be heard. My frantic behavior since Discord altered my perceptions has only used up more of my energy. In short, I was starving. I needed to eat. But I knew instinctively that there was no way I was going to be able to choke down any of the food Spike prepared if I had to see it first. If a living breathing Spike look that horrid, I didn’t want to imagine what day old broccoli casserole looked like. I was going to have to do this blindfolded. It took me a second to find the scarf Spike had brought me. I quickly fashioned a makeshift blindfold out of it, and tied it around my head. Then I felt around until I found my fork, and one of the three bowls. The one I found didn’t seem very heavy, so I guessed it was the salad. I stuck the fork into the bowl, and lifted the contents toward my mouth. The stench was overwhelming. I quickly held the fork as far away from me as I could. Apparently Discord didn’t just use his powers on my sight. My olfactory senses were obviously heightened as well. This could be a problem. I held my hoof sideways across my muzzle, effectively covering both nostrils. Then I raised the fork back toward my mouth. I could still faintly smell the rot, but I quickly shoved the first bite into my mouth. I more than half expected that my taste buds were altered as well, but fortunately they were still the same. I tasted salad. Very good salad. My mouth completely contradicted what my nose had been telling me. “Oh thank Goddess,” I mumbled around the mouthful of greens. At least I would be able to eat. Even though I couldn’t stand the smell of it, or doubtless the sight. I spent the next ten minutes or so greedily devouring everything on the tray, and guzzling all the tea. After the last bite was eaten, I sat back in my chair with a contented sigh. Now that I was fed, and my hunger pangs and headache had receded, I was feeling a great deal more optimistic. I could make this work. Sure it wasn’t going to be easy, I’d have to make a lot of alterations to my daily routine. But I could master this. And once I conditioned myself, once I got used to my new senses, then I could learn to master and control this ‘rot’ energy. If any pony on Equestria could do it, it was me. I would master it. I would become as powerful as Discord. I would change the world for the better! {Uuuurp!} Ugh, good thing nopony else heard me burp like that, I must’ve been really starving t- {URRRRRRRRRRK, BLUUUUUGH!} Oh Celestia… Oh Goddess! No… no, no, no, n- {Bluuuuuughhhh!} Oh Goddess. The stench from that burp, the rot, oh Goddess the rot was inside me! And of course that made me puke, and of course the smell from that made me puke more and o- {Bluuuuugh… ack, ack, blughgh} Goddess, I had to get out of this room! That smell, beyond repellent… No use, I’ll have to take the blindfold off. Don’t look down, just don’t look down, look straight ahead, no farther, not until you get out of the room. Okay, okay, ready now… go! I removed the blindfold and opened my eyes. The rot was all around me, everywhere. I carefully avoided looking at the tray or anything below that. I carefully pushed it away from me. Not looking at where my hooves had been touching it, and resisting the urge to wipe them on my chest. I slowly lowered a hoof to the floor, silently thanking Celestia that it didn’t go ‘squish’. Then I slowly lowered the other one, and made my way carefully around the edge of the room until I got to the door. I ignited my horn, and used it’s magic to open the door into the outer hallway. If only I had been calm enough to simply teleport outside. Still, as things were, I barely had the concentration to work the knob without touching it. I made my way out into the hall, and closed the door behind me. Slowly I sank to the floor, my back pressed into the door. I covered my eyes with the scarf once more, and silently began to cry. I have no idea how long I stayed that way before Celestia found me.