//------------------------------// // XXVI - Potential Parenthood // Story: Horns, Hooves, and Fur // by Deyeaz //------------------------------// Craimer: Being the one here that has a job at the worst possible times, and not being able to stay up all night; I thank you Shadow for finishing the last chapter. I was originally going to have Jace walk in, lean against the entrance and Blueblood will see him, and be silent for most of the night. But, I like where you took it, my friend. Excellent work! I also found a little oopsy in the scene where Jace and Vinyl were going home; you silly. Shadow: Riiight. Sorry, bud. *Sheepish smile* and thanks for the praise, man. AND FINALLY, A NEW CHAPTER! How long have you all been waiting? Craimer: Several weeks, brony. Several weeks. Shadow: In that case, you ready to begin the next chapter? Craimer: You know it! XXVI - Potential Parenthood The hours spent in the council meeting had trickled by so slowly, Jace and Praxis could have sworn that time had frozen, melting only gradually as the droplets slugged down its surface, crashing into the ground below with weak, gentle plinks. Knowledge -- obviously known to both Praxis and Jace -- about Insanity’s schemes were passed around the meeting, along with news of overthrown towns and cities, such as Bitsburg, Manehatten, Fillydelphia, and Denfur. Upon the arguing between each breed of species upon what to do and how to act, which eventually led to fingers/claws/hooves being pointed at others in accusation of failure to protect their lands, Praxis -- who was merely writing on pieces of paper at the time -- chimed in that they should at least strive for calm and order, since “they were acting like children when they should be acting like grown adults”. While he was nearly ejected from the meeting for his snide remark, the council members considered his idea... then returned to their bickering. Jace looked over at Praxis and nodded as he stood and looked across the board. They all slowly stopped talking to let him talk. “Thank you for ceasing your talking.” He walked around the table and eyed the council members. “Fillies and gentlecolts, I have a small announcement that I’m making. After this whole thing with the power known as Insanity is taken care of, I’ll be departing for Stalliongrad and working in the Zone as a S.T.A.L.K.E.R. to help repel the forces of Insanity.” The council voiced their displeasure in this idea by talking again. “What if we just send more troops?” A council-griffin yelled over the rest. “Because I possess power that no ordinary man nor pony can possess.” He snapped his fingers and a black rose appeared in his hand through a red blaze of fire. “As you can see here. I possess these powers due to an encounter with a magic well in the three years that I have been here.” This wasn’t that much of a lie, seeing as though it was a magic well he got the power from, but not in Equestria. “Seeing as though I am the only human in this world, I can do things that a pony can do, and more.” He lifted a piece of paper with his telekinetic powers, receiving gasps from the board members. As it floated over to him, he grabbed hold of it with his fingers and released the magical hold, then folded it and placed it in his trouser pocket. “I can do much more than this, and it will be essential in the line of combat. I am no stranger to fighting, either, due to the many encounters with Manticores and such that threaten my home, Ponyville. Now, if anyone objects to this; please voice your opinion now.” Prince Blueblood was about to spitefully retort to this tidbit from Jace, yet Praxis shot him a look and shook his head, nonverbally telling him to not do it. With that, the prince sat back down in his seat. “The same can be said for me as well,” Praxis said. “I was like Jace back when I was on my home planet, but due to some... magical contingencies, I became this. I actually don’t mind it at all. I’m capable of going incredibly high speeds, performing bioharmonic magic through my flute, and the ability to read emotions.” The council members were slightly shocked at the last part. Praxis noticed this and gave a small laugh. “And judging by your expressions, you’re all surprised, and perhaps a few of you are skeptical. But alas, it is true. And since I’ve been fighting for as long as I can remember, I will also do all in my power to help vanquish Insanity. Anyone else wanna retaliate?” Neither the ponies, Diamond Dogs, nor griffins said a word. “OK, then. Celestia and Luna--” “--PRINCESSES Celestia and Luna,” a Diamond Dog official interjected angrily. Jace walked over to the Dog in question, and smacked him in the back of the head. “Talk that way to that man again, you’ll see the true power I possess, runt. You treat us with respect, and you get respect back. We are on a first name basis with the Princesses, and if I hear any debate against it, you will be forcibly removed by the Royal Guard or myself personally.” He looked across the table. “Do I make myself clear?” The council members nodded fervently. The Dog nodded as well, giving a small canine whine as he did so. Jace sat back down next to Praxis. “You can talk again, Praxis.” In a setting such as this, Jace refrained from using slang and cursing in his vocabulary. This was the TRUE Jace. A smart, sophisticated, suave, golden tongue. He never lets this show, due to always hanging around people who never acted like this. He didn’t like it, but it was how he was when he was around these uptight ponies. “Actually, I was gonna have the Princesses have repossession of the board.” Praxis admitted. “Very well,” Princess Celestia said nervously. “Now that that is over with....” Alas, however, the hour finally came when all the council members could finally depart back to their homes and relish in the comfort of their beds and loved ones. Jace and Praxis, obviously being no exception, exited the room as well, both of them stifling huge yawns as they left the castle. However, Praxis told Jace he’d stay behind for a few moments. Jace only nodded in understanding before telling him he’d wait for him outside. The only occupants of the council where the weresatyr and Prince Blueblood. “Hey,” Praxis said. Blueblood flinched a little at the other’s salutations. “You’re not going to ridicule me again, are you?” Blueblood asked nervously. “Well, no,” Praxis admitted. “I just wanna know... WHY you do what you do.” “What do you mean?” Blueblood was a tad confused by the weresatyr’s request. “I mean... why are you a jerk? Seriously, you think almost EVERYpony is beneath you, like they’re dirt. You treated Rarity, a national HERO, like a pile of crap at the last Gala. How can you not feel any remorse for any of that?” The forced epiphany hit Blueblood like a wrecking ball. Now that he thought about it, he was rather rude and abusive to miss Rarity, and he had been mistreating those other than his aunts and a few select others. Finding no way to retaliate in the hopes that he could look good and end the conversation simultaneously, Blueblood let out a heavy sigh in defeat. “Dear Goddess, I’ve been a horse’s arse, haven’t I?” “Indeed you have, my good sir.” Praxis gave Blueblood a pat on the shoulder. The prince almost recoiled from the touch, then realized what Praxis had been trying to tell him. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t change.” Praxis began to vacate the room. Luckily, Jace still waited for Praxis at the door. “G’night, Blueblood!” he called over his shoulder. The stallion in question only gave a meek farewell in return. “Hey, man, what was with that writing you were doing during the meeting?” Jace had seen Praxis scrawling several pieces of parchment during the meeting. “Oh, nothin’ much, man,” Praxis answered with a hint of dishonesty. “Just something for later, y’know?” Jace nodded in understanding. As the two walked out of the room, Blueblood looked over at Jace, eyes narrowed. He chuckled lightly as a sly, devilish grin curled on his mouth. “Ridicule me, will you? We’ll see in those four years time...” Once they vacated the city of Canterlot, they boarded the train to Ponyville, along with their original entourage and then some. Aboard the train, Lyra finally gathered whatever courage that swelled within her to strike up a conversation with Praxis. She got up off of her seat, opened the door to the next compartment, and walked down the aisle, stopping only when she had reached her destination. “H-Hey, Praxis?” The seafoam-green unicorn began. “Yeah, Lyra?” Praxis was still a little uncomfortable around Lyra after mating season, but he took it in stride and resisted the urge to bolt out of the compartment via nearby window, lest it happen again. “Listen... I was wondering... I’m really sorry about what happened on... ‘that day’.” She was unnerved by Praxis’s current appearance, but she let it roll off her shoulders. “I feel really bad about it. Especially since I was--” “--Planning on asking me out?” Praxis completed for her. As the other occupants aboard the train went wide-eyed at his words, Lyra’s jaw dropped. It had been true. She indeed was planning on developing a serious relationship between her and the satyr. At least, before mating season had gotten rather out of hoof. But the question remained... “H-how did you--” “--know?” Lyra grimaced at Praxis’s correct, albeit rude, interruptions. “Simple: satyrs are capable of reading the emotions of those that are in their presence. But due to my rather high intellect, I am able to make proper guesses as to what you plan on saying based off what you are currently saying and the emotions I’m reading.” “Ohh.” Lyra nodded in understanding. “Anyways... I’m really sorry for what I did...” “Don’t sweat it, Lyra.” Praxis patted the lyre-player’s head. “I forgive you.” “You do?” Praxis nodded. “Does that mean we can still be friends?” She asked rather nervously. At another nod, she gave Praxis a tight, yet brief, hug, all sense of nervousness banished to oblivion. “Thank you so much, Prax!” she squealed. When they broke apart, she walked back down her compartment, leaving Jace, Praxis, Spike, the Element Bearers, and a few other random ponies behind. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” As soon as Lyra closed the door to the compartment, she felt the eyes of Zecora, Derpy, Carrot Top, and Bon-Bon gazing upon her. “Seriously?” Carrot Top deadpanned as they all took their usual seats at the back of the compartment. “Please don’t tell me you didn’t tell him.” Lyra shushed her. “He doesn’t have to know,” she said. “Lyra, that is not okay. You must tell him someday,” Zecora reasoned. “I know, but....” “But what?” Bon-Bon interjected in a whisper. “That you don’t want him to know that you have HIS bun in YOUR oven?” “Be quiet!” Lyra pleaded. “But Lyra!” Derpy protested. “He can’t not know for the rest of his life!” Lyra was going to counter that none of them have the rest of their lives when she stopped dead in her verbal tracks. She saw something through the car door she had left a few moments ago, and her heart sunk like a stone. “Oh, crap....” The shape of a two-horned, pointy-eared, human head. Meanwhile, Praxis was dumbstruck by what he had overheard. The very thought of such a thing was absolutely ludicrous. He didn’t want to believe it, no matter how many times it had been told to him. The very idea was completely ridiculous. He refused to believe it. But sooner or later, he would have to. ‘I... I’m gonna be a father?’ Those mental words rang in his ears like several smacked gongs, making his brain scream from the excruciation of the truth that hit him like a kick in the ribs. His heart was pounding at thrice its usual strength as his mind began buzzing frantically, as if someone had rammed his head inside a nest full of bees. Subconsciously, he turned around and sat back in his spot betwixt Fluttershy and Applejack. “Are y’all alrahght, sugarcube?” Applejack looked in his eyes with concern. “Y’all don’ look so good.” Praxis weakly nodded. “A-are you sure, Praxis?” Fluttershy asked. “What was THAT about?” Spike asked. “Beats me,” Jace answered in Praxis’s place, a worried look on the former’s face. “Prax? You alright, Fluffy?” Praxis could only nod. He couldn’t shake his head: that’d only invite more questions from the crowd before him. Instead, he chose to be quiet about it. He looked up at Jace and gave him a fake smile. “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” ‘But will I, though?’ After what felt like eons, the train had finally stopped at the station in Ponyville, and all the occupants upon the locomotive -- save those who work on it -- vacated it. As they departed, Praxis could make out what seemed to be a case of some sort in Jace’s hands. Swamped with fatigue and exhaustion, Praxis lifts a hand to cover his mouth, stifling a huge yawn. He could interrogate Jace on the contents of the case another time, yet he had a feeling that he knew what it was. Stretching his joints until the satisfying sound of popping joints greeted him, Praxis went for a ‘light’ jog. He was still traversing faster than anypony else by a long shot, yet he wasn’t going at top speeds like he was usually accustomed to. Only a few minutes had snailed by until Praxis finally reached his treehouse. Once stripped of his Gala clothes, he threw them unceremoniously on one of the loveseats, save for his pince nez and top hat, which he placed on the coffee table before ascending up the spiral staircase and jumping into the hammock, clearing the small messy ocean of apple cores and tin cans. Despite his bizarre nocturnality, the oscillation of the hammock and his bad case of fatigue eased Praxis to sleep. Jace had watched Praxis depart for his home, suddenly remembering that he had to leave for home as well. He grabbed the case for the new violin he had been given, and walked towards the train. Once on board, he set the case down and tucked the cane under his arm. “C’mon, love,” he called to Vinyl. The pony in question stepped forward, bags under her eyes from exhaustion. She walked towards Jace, who scooped her up in his arms while he levitated the cane and the violin case. She rested her head on his shoulder, yawning as they stepped onto the train and took their seats. Jace looked down at her and smiled softly as they walked home. “Tired from lugging around the baby?” He rubbed her belly lightly. To answer his question, Vinyl gave a wince when the little embryo in her womb gave a slight kick, causing her belly to have a protruding lump erupt briefly upon the surface. She nodded slowly, eyes still closed from the small jolt of pain that had shot through her stomach. “Yeah, but... I’ll be fine.” “Only two more days, sweetheart. Just two more days. Then, we’ll have a beautiful baby colt to love and cherish... Well... Not so much for me.” He sighed and looked up, the moon still smiling wickedly at them. Jace’s eyes widened a bit at how much more closely it had gotten. Rather than appearing the size of a baseball at its regular position, it was not the size of an exercise ball at its current location. If he tried hard enough, he could practically count all of the craters in view. Vinyl saw his expression and replicated it when she saw the moon for herself. “What do you mean?” Her eyes were still gazing at the moon. “You remember what I said about Stalliongrad? I’m not changing my mind. I need to go there and help out with the zombie situation. I got a letter from Paskov telling me to join in and help out. Besides, with Insanity’s cronies running amuck, maybe this’ll do some good to lower his numbers.” Vinyl could only sigh at Jace’s answer. She swallowed with difficulty, like her esophagus was lined with gravel. “When are you leaving?” She finally managed to say. “When this whole thing ends. Couple of months, at the max. I know it sucks, but I can’t refuse this offer. I want to help Paskov and the others so we don’t have to worry about a zombie invasion.” He rubbed her belly more, looking into her eyes. “At most, it’ll probably be a few years.” Vinyl only gave a brief hum, showing that she understood the predicament. “Hey, I got an idea so it won’t seem like we’re too far apart. Don’t worry... It’ll be like I never left.” The time seemed to fly by as the two walked in silence to their abode. Jace carried Vinyl in his arms and the luggage with telekinesis. In about ten minutes, they had reached their lovely estate. Jace had opened the door, taking care not to smack Vinyl along the threshold as he passed under it. He set her down and walked over to the table where a lamp sat atop. He opened the table’s cabinet and pulled out two leather-bound books, one with his name on it, the other with Vinyl’s. “Jace, how in Celestia’s name are we gonna communicate through BOOKS?” Vinyl asked skeptically. He pulled out a pen and flipped open to a fresh page. “Open your book and I’ll show you.” She raised a brow, but complied as she pulled open the book and flipped to a fresh page. “It’s blank...” She announced flatly. Not anymore, it isn’t. Vinyl went wide eyed at the words that appeared on the page. She looked up at Jace, who had clicked the pen closed and put it in his breast pocket. “You were saying?” “Whoa...” she finally exhaled in wonder. “This... this is perfect!” Her euphoria was ended when her mind was invaded by a sudden and good question: “But what happens if you lose it?” “Don’t worry about it.” Jace waved a hand. “I can’t EVER lose something as important as this. And plus, when Wubsy comes along, he can write to me as well.” Vinyl was stunned by it all. Only one thing remained. She pounced on Jace, kissing him hungrily. Jace, taken by surprise, quickly retaliated by kissing her back. After breaking the oral embrace, Jace carried Vinyl up the staircase and into their bedroom, closing the door behind them. The “Do Not Disturb” sign on the doorknob swung a little as the door closed. The morning sun shone brightly through Praxis’ window, despite the averagely-thick foliage of the Everfree Forest’s trees. The satyr, fully returned to normal, opened his eyes slowly, a hangover of sleep striking him with the strength of a hammer when the light tackled his retinas. Clutching his head as he got out of his hammock, he walked down the stairs and outside to his usual stream where he bathed. Once fully clean, he returned to his abode to dawn his assassin’s clothing, sans the pulled-up hood. After disposing of the apple cores and eating the tin cans, Praxis removed the folded pieces of parchment from the pocket of his Gala clothes before replacing the garments in his closet. Putting the parchment in the pocket of his tunic, Praxis was ready to start the day. Until he accidentally kicked an apple core he had missed down the stair. Picking it up, Praxis examined it as he stepped outside. It was the remains of a macintosh apple, large and green-skinned and all. Switching sights between the apple and Big Macintosh’s grave, Praxis became shellshocked from the sudden symbolism of it all. A few of the seeds were still remaining inside the devoured fruit. Taking extra care, Praxis plucked them out of the apple and strode behind Big Mac’s grave, scooping away a few feet of dirt behind it. He dropped the seeds inside the hole and covered it with the unsettled soil. He stepped back and drew his flute before licking his lips and placing them on the lip plate of his instrument. Taking an inhalation through the nose, Praxis started playing a few bars of whatever music was swimming in his head at the time: Mozart. Only a few seconds had passed until the magic of the flute’s sounds took effect. The chaotic foliage of the forest became a tad tamer, like professional gardeners had swooped down upon it to set it in its proper place. The macintosh seeds had already cracked open, the sprouts absorbing the fertile nutrients of the soil. Within a matter of minutes, an apple tree had now towered over Praxis by more than twice his height. Praxis stared at it with even wider eyes, mouth open from how huge it was. Macintosh apples the size of footballs were dangling on the many branches of the tree. “Whoa....” He knew that his bioharmonic magic could get a bit out of hand at times, but the sight before him was one to behold. After coming to the conclusion that anything he focuses his magic on will increase the initial results, Praxis jumped up and gently plucked an apple from its branch, taking caution not to land on Big Mac’s grave as he gave the fruit a generous chomp. With a now bitten apple in hand, Praxis vacated the Everfree Forest and crossed the vast field to Ponyville. Once he had entered the humble town, he started asking the townsfolk where the post office was exactly. One pony - which he could suspect was Blossomforth - pointed at a building with a large white envelope decoration above the entrance. After thanking Blossomforth, Praxis entered the post office. After looking around for the pony he wanted, he spotted her. Derpy, who was putting mail into her messenger saddlebags, noticed Praxis noticing her and waved hello. “Hey, Derpy!” Praxis greeted as he strode over to the iron-gray Pegasus pony. Derpy returned his salutations with a mere “Hi-ya!”. “Listen, Derpy, can you please do me a small favor?” “Sure thing, Prax!” She said happily. He withdrew three pieces of parchments and gave them to her. As she read them, she saw the names inscribed upon them: Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Applebloom, Spike, and Prince Blueblood. Each one had an urgent warning that read: Don’t read until an important event!!! “Can you send them to those specific ponies and dragon, Derpy?” The Pegasus in question nodded. “Gotcha, Prax!” With that, the walled-eyed mailmare exited the post office and took a right towards the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse... ...even though she was going the wrong direction. “Oops! Silly me, it’s THAT way!” Derpy turned 180 degrees and went in the direction of the clubhouse. Praxis gave a small laugh before exiting the post office and making his way towards Jace’s mansion. “Knock knock, motherfucker!” He called through the doors as he knocked on them. Praxis sniffed and stood back, folding his arms as he stared at the doors in boredom. After a minute of waiting, he knocked again. Another minute passed. With patience running thin, Praxis knocked again. “C’mon, Jace! Open the fucking door!” He pounded hard on the door and the sound of something falling could be heard from the other side. “Ah, fuck! My fucking head...” It was Jace’s voice. Being the badass friend that Praxis is, he opened the door and looked around to find Jace laying on the ground, clutching his head. “Fuck me...” “Maybe later, babe! You seem to be thoroughly messed up this time!” A voice called from inside the estate. “Oh, ha-ha, Vinyl. Very funny,” he shouted back up the stairs at his lover, who was giggling at the sight she was seeing. His attention then turned to Praxis, who was staring blankly at him. “Oh, sup.” “Sup with you? Did you fall down the stairs?” “Yup! It’s fun, you should try it sometime. Fucking body surfing does wonders for your back and head.” He stood and brushed his pajamas off, before stumbling over to Praxis. “How’d you sleep?” “Good... I guess I can’t say the same for you. You look like you broke your legs!” He watched as Jace limped around the foyer, then into the living room. He motioned for him to follow. Praxis obliged. “Yeah, well. When your marefriend is not going to see you for three years, and your kid is about to be born, she throws out all she can give. You feeling up for a drink?” Jace limped to the living room and walked into the large elegant room. A large, red, semicircle couch, open end pointing towards a grandeur fireplace, sat in the middle of the room, holding a coffee table inside. Red shag carpet adorned the floor, the gold paint of the walls and ceiling clashing magnificently with the couch and the carpet. A large Persian rug, smack in the middle of the room, made the finishing touches of the room Praxis had entered. It would have been beautiful... had it not been for the mounds of empty beer cans that littered the floor. “If you want, you can have some,” Jace offered. “I know how much you like tin... And beer.” “Those are my two favorite things... ever!” Praxis smiled and picked up a empty beer can from the floor. He tossed it into his mouth, chomping away loudly at it. Jace pushed some cans out of the way, and made his way to the spotless kitchen. “I never let anyone into the kitchen though. Never. This is MY domain!” “Good! Make me a sandwich, I’m starving!” “Make your own damn sandwich!” He walked over to a fruit bowl and picked up a large green apple, taking a bite out of it. “I’m eating!” “Well, aren’t you just the slut.” Jace feigned a girly gasp, and bent his hips to the side as he placed a hand on it. “I am not a slut! I’m a whore! Get it right, jeez!” He turned away, still eating the apple and Praxis rolled his eyes with a smile. “You always had the best ass, Jace.” He smacked it on his way past, raising his hand and blowing on his fingers as he walked past his friend. Jace stared wide eyed at him, apple in his mouth. “Praxis...” “Yes?~” A troll smile was emulating from Praxis’ mouth. “Too far...” Praxis laughed as Jace shook his head slowly. The human made his way towards the wine rack to get a bottle of red wine and some scotch. “I don’t know what you want, but I wanna chill with some music and some wine.” He got out a wine glass and put the bottles of booze under his arms as he limped his way back to the living room. Praxis wandered around the kitchen, opening up the alcohol cupboard with a small grin. Pulling a bottle of liquor labeled “Vinyl’s Vodka” out of the cupboard, he got up, closed the cupboard door, and set the liquor down on the counter. “Touch it and you DIE, Praxis!” Praxis turned behind him, not seeing where the voice came from. “Yup, I have good hearing, Fluffy! Put it back before you get hurt!” Praxis hastily replaced the bottle of vodka. “Good boy, Fluffy!” A laugh from Vinyl and the sound of records scratching were heard from the living room. “C’mon, Prax! Get yer furry ass in here, and bring my Vodka!” “No way!” Praxis retorted as he walked back into the living room. Vinyl lifted her shades off of her face and glared at Praxis angrily. “Bitch, gimme my vodka!” She demanded. “What, so you can drink yourself and your unborn kid stupid? Hell no. I’m not gonna watch your child become some braindead pony,” admonished Praxis. “But... I want my boooze~!” Vinyl whined. “Relax, Vi.” Jace stuck his hands up defensively. “Prax only means well.” “Ladies,” Praxis interjected. Jace and Vinyl shot him a look. Praxis only chuckled. “We have more important matters to attend to... like... me being an Order Reaper in time to fight Insanity?” “Calm your tits, Fluffy.” Jace took another sip of his wine. “We’re relaxing here, can’t you see that? Uhhh, play the one called Centipede babe.” The DJ picked up the I-Pod connected to the booth and started to scroll through all the songs on there and Praxis gaped at him. “Honestly, I’m surprised with how calm you are in all of this. There is an insano running around, trying to end the world!” “Yeah, and he does it in the most cheesiest way in the world.” He looked up at Praxis. “He is a part of you right? Well, seems as though you played too much Majora’s Mask as a kid then.” “Actually, it was Dark Cloud 2, but--” “Uhhh... guys?” Vinyl interjected. “Yes, Vinyl?” Jace turned to his marefriend. “What’s a centipede?” “Wait... I’ve been here for three years and I’m just now knowing you don’t have centipedes or other insects from my world here?” Vinyl nodded slowly. “Well, I’ll tell you later. For now, put a few songs on cue and get over here.” “Say please, motherbucker,” Vinyl said coyly. After the trio’s escapades of dubstep had subsided, Jace set down the Calling Card once more. The white light cone reappeared and he, Vinyl, and Praxis hopped into the cone, vanishing into the world of Markarth. Upon crash-landing in the living room of Aksheal’s castle in another heap of bodies, they got up and dusted themselves off. Aksheal, who had been reading another extensive tome, looked up at the three who appeared in his domain. “I see that you want to become an Order Reaper, Praxis?” Aksheal sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers. “H-how did you know?” the satyr in question asked. “I had a feeling, is all.” Aksheal fired a very subtle wink at Jace.