--Chapter 16--
Into The Forest
“Four thousand years? That would make it date all the way back to the Mandalorian wars. ”Falcon glanced in the direction of the Everfree. “Are you sure this is not just a mistake?”
“It might be, I got that number from the rate at which the signal gets weaker and the maximum range of our com-links I might be very wrong about it, but one thing I know for sure. There is something old in that forest.” The two stopped walking and both looked towards the forest. “And I think we should go and see what that is.”
“Agreed.” Falcon said. “We’ll move out in few days. Try to find the more precise location while I’ll prepare the others and inform the Princess.” They started to walk again.
“Why won’t’t we just take the LAAT and fly there now?”
“I want to save the fuel for the times when we will need more. We can deal with whatever lives in that forest if we’ll have to.” Commander explained. “Besides, I want to see more of that forest, it’s a really interesting place.” They continued to walk until they reached the restored warehouse they turned into a base. On the outside it looked almost the same as before, only without broken windows and with fresh paint.
Most changes were made on the inside. The floor was removed and replaced with a new one, the building was divided into two proper floors, one meant as living quarters and the other had a storage, armory and few rooms that Shaw and Twilight have turned into their own little lab. There was no place for the LAAT inside and the top of the building was not meant to withstand a ship landing on it, so the gunship was placed behind the warehouse.
Upon entering, Shaw immediately walked into one of the rooms he and Twilight took over. Falcon meanwhile went into the small basement with just one room locked with a digital lock. Locks like that were placed around the whole building by Shaw, and since those are the only ones like that in the entire planet, the security level was pretty high, even though the locks weren’t very high quality as far as the galactic standards go.
Shaw was also thinking about setting up some turrets around the place, but for now Falcon didn’t think it was necessary so he ordered him to focus on other things instead.
He quickly entered the pass code and walked into the room. There was only one thing inside: a mirror. Not a normal one though. This mirror was left here by Luna with only one purpose in mind. To be a link between Luna’s room in Canterlot and the warehouse in Ponyville. Normally it served like a holo-com, but in an emergency situation it could also be used like a portal. Though, this would lead to Celestia detecting them, and since limiting her knowledge was one of their priorities this was only to be used if absolutely necessary. Luna was able to mask out the communication between them, but opening a portal is a bit too much for her when her sister comes into play.
There was a switch at a side of the mirror, and Falcon used it to open a link. His reflection disappeared from the mirror and the image soon started to show Luna’s bedroom. There was a delay between the time he was able to see the image and when Luna could see him. This was made that way so that Falcon could quickly see if the room is safe to talk or not. After all someone might be there with Luna.
No one was there save for the Princess though. She was sleeping in her bed, but she will soon receive an information from the mirror that he’s established a contact.
He soon saw as she starts to move under covers and with a yawn, gets out. She rotated her head left and right, receiving several ‘pop’ sounds from her neck. She then looked at the mirror. “What do I own this pleasant wake up commander?”
“Sorry princess, but we have an interesting finding that I would like some informations about.”
“Well what is it?” She asked, rubbing her eyes with her hoof.
“Shaw has found an old signal coming from deep within the Everfree forest. W think this may be an old ship from Old Republic Era and we’re planning to go there and see what it is, there might be something interesting there. I wanted to ask if you have some informations that we could use. You’ve been around for a while, right? Maybe there was some legend flying around or something. You think you can be of some help?”
“I think I might be, but first you have to tell me how old is this signal of yours.” Her horn started to shine and within a moment several books flew out of her private library.
“According to Shaw the signal is approximately four thousand years old. You want me to try pointing the probable crash side?”
“No need. I think I know what you’re talking about.” She levitated one book and threw the others on the floor. She quickly flipped through the pages, finding what she was looking for in no time. “Here it is. There was a legend among ponies that lived on Equestrian land before the three tribes came. According to it, one day a flaming demon came down from the sky and burned a village in the forest. The flames have spread out and a big chunk of the forest was burned. Then another demon appeared and started to kill ponies that came there from nearby villages to help. Not even soldiers that were sent there were able to stop it and those who managed to survive describe it as a red monster shooting rays of death.
Then as it is in legends, a hero came, defeated the demon and vanquished it back to hell it came from. This is a part added by Equestians though” She closed the book. “In reality it was a collective effort of many unicorns that came there when tribes created Equestria. Before that, ponies stayed as far away from the forest as they could. I know because me and sister were working in the castle as maids.”
“Interesting.” Falcon said. “That flying demon must have been a ship, and the fire was probably from the rough entering into the atmosphere. The ship then crushed into the village, houses caught fire from the hot ship and the forest fire started. That other demon was likely a crew member who reacted hostile towards ponies. Or maybe ponies reacted hostile first and he responded with fire. We’ll likely never know.”
“Should I send a map with the village’s location?” Luna asked.
“That would be appreciated, yes. Also, you worked as a maid?”
“Very well, then. I’ll send it in a letter to miss Sparkle. And yes, me and my sister used to be normal ponies with normal lives once. I think I still have my old outfit somewhere, my sister kept it for me because I always liked it.” She quickly realized what she just said and blushed madly while Falcon started to laugh. “What!? We all have our secrets, right? You want me to tell everypony about your little secret?” The clone fell quiet. “Thought so. Now, since we’re talking already, how about you tell be about the progress you made with your new found abilities?”
“Eh, fine.” He crossed his arms. “I managed to lift a blaster, but only after spending half an hour focusing. Twilight wants me to know more theory before she moves to practical applications.”
“And what about what I’ve been teaching you? Have you managed to do something in free time?”
“Well, yes actually.” He took off his glove and lifted his hand. Then he snapped his fingers and for a brief moment a small discharge of electricity appeared between his fingers. “I first did that two days ago, when Twilight went a bit overboard with her lecture. I started playing with my fingers and the Force and that happened accidentally, later I started to experiment.” He repeated the motion.
“I see. I’ll be sure to see into it tonight. For now though, I would like to have some sleep if you don’t mind. I wish you luck in your search.”
“Alright, you can try it now.” Shaw said, passing the modified scope of Tracker’s rifle to the owner. “We made some modifications to the-“
“Please, spare me the science talk you two.” Twilight rolled her eyes and went back to working on another project. Tracker meanwhile attached the scope to his rifle and pressed his artificial eye against it. “Well, I must thank you two.” He said. “I can finally use a scope like any real sniper should.” He immediately pointed the weapon towards an empty plastic bottle next to Twilight.
Before Shaw could say anything, Tracker pulled the trigger and the bottle blew up. The mare instantly jumped away with a scream, grabbing onto Shaw’s neck and hanging from it. “Why did you do that!?” She screamed, pulling herself tighter to the clone.
“To see that.” He smirked as Twilight slowly realized what she was hanging from. And once she did, she quickly jumped away from the clone with a scream. “Heh, you two are just too much fun.” He chuckled a bit while the two blushed and went back to their tasks. “But seriously, thanks for making this. I really appreciate it.”
“No need to. You already have enough problems because of loosing eyes. If I could make it a bit easier I’ll take the opportunity.” Shaw said.
The commando nodded as he leaned against the wall. “By the way, what are you two working on? And what is this white stuff in those bottles?” he pointed at the bottles lying on the floor next to Twilight.
Twilight looked at the bottles. “That’s Ectoplasma.” She said. “It’s a leftover substance that is created naturally during magic casting, though normally it’s in gas form. When it is collected it can be liquefied and that gives it many applications. For starters, it’s used to treat ponies with severely drained magic, and numerous magic defects. And since it’s pretty much liquid magic with no energy in it, it can be easily manipulated and enchanted, which means it can be turned into nearly whatever we want it to be. Most of the current technology is based on it.”
“And as for what we’re doing… we’re trying to combine Ectoplasma with Plastoid.” Shaw continued for her. “We called this EctoPlast, and the idea is to incorporate the easy magic manipulation of Ectoplasma and the defense given by Plastoid plates. So far we don’t have much success in this department, but we’re going there. Also, I’m looking into using Ectoplasma in its natural form as a replacement for Tibanna gas. Technically if we replace the Tibanna gas cartridge with Ectoplasma, and power cell with something that will place a certain spell on the gas, we could replicate blaster technology with what they have here.”
“All I got from this is that you’re making new weapons and armors.” The two sighed. “Anyways, you two should finish whatever you’re up to quickly. We’re moving into the Everfree in an hour.”
“Right… we’ll go to the meeting point in a minute.” Shaw said, as Tracker left the room. “He can be really annoying sometimes.” He sighed and looked back at Twilight. “How’s it going?”
“Bad.” She placed a piece of modified Plastoid in her hoof and showed it to Shaw. He touched it with his finger and the surface easily bent under the little force he used. “It just keeps getting like that each time. I have no idea what are we doing wrong.”
“Maybe we should try applying it under pressure, or…” Science bubbling continued for some time, until they finally decided that it’s time to leave.
Falcon waited for others to join him next to the entrance to the forest. He was leaning against a tree, looking back and forth between the road that led here from the town, and the darkness of the forest. Fluttershy was already there, since her cottage was placed right next to the entrance. The Everfree forest was an interesting one to say the least. There were only three known ways in, because trees around the forest created a palisade that kept everything that can’t fly or teleport from getting inside. Furthermore, it is said that if you try to cut your way through the trees, those will immediately grow back before you get the chance to go inside.
Only the trees around the entrances were not blocking the path in, but the exact reason for this is unknown, as are many things about the forest.
Falcon looked at the yellow pegasus nervously walking back and forth in front of the entrance. On her foreleg was a holster with blaster pistol in it, though it was slightly modified to allow ponies to use it. He’s taught all of them basics of how to use blasters and ordered them to carry them during the exploration of the forest, but he also told them to not use them unless they are told to, and leave any fighting to him, Shaw and Tracker.
“Why are you so nervous? We’ve been coming in and out of that forest several times per week, what’s different this time?” He asked.
“I-It’s, not that I’m afraid of going to the castle, sir. I-“
“Drop the ‘sir’ when we’re talking normally. I’m not just your commanding officer, I’m also your friend, so you can allow yourself to loosen up when situation doesn’t require us to be formal.” He took of the helmet to emphasize.
“S-Sorry… I wanted to say that I’m not afraid to go to the castle because it’s close and we know the way. I’m nervous because now we’re going really deep into the forest, and I’m afraid something might happen.” He noticed she’s shaking a bit. “What if somepony gets lost along the way? Or some monster we know nothing about appears. A-And what about that demon you told us about? What if that wasn’t a pilot like you said, but a real demon!? What will we do then!? We’re gonna die-!” She suddenly jumped with a scream when a blaster bolt hit the ground in front of her.
“Stop being such a crybaby.” Tracker said, appearing out of nowhere and approaching them. “First of all, no one’s going to get lost because we can track each other through the com-links. Even if anyone separates from the group, me Falcon and Shaw will still know where they are. Second, if we met something that wants to kill us along the way-“ He fired another shot in front of her, earning the same reaction.”-we shoot it. Whether it’s a demon or an animal doesn’t matter, nothing’s immortal.”
“You know, I don’t think that’s the way to calm her down…” Falcon pointed out, looking at even more shaken up pony. He approached her and knelt down.
“Eh, whatever… it’s not like I care.”
Falcon sighed at commando’s comment and turned his attention to Fluttershy. “Listen, it may be a journey into a dangerous territory, but we’re prepared to take on anything that we might cross paths with. And like Tracker said, there’s no way anyone will get lost, we’ll be able to track all of you even if you separate from the group. That, and you also have weapons in case something happens. So there’s really nothing to worry about.”
He patted her on the back and she took a deep breath to calm herself down. It was in that moment that the rest of the group started to gather. First one to come was Rainbow Dash - who for her quick arrival was allowed to do only 50 push-ups (if she was late, every minute would add 20 to that number), followed by Applejack and Pinkie right after her. Rarity came next, and the last ones to arrive were Shaw and Twilight.
Upon arrival, everypony received a blaster pistol from Falcon, and just like Fluttershy, they were ordered to only use it when necessary. As for equipment carried by the clones, Falcon took DC-15s with him along with force pike, blaster pistol, two thermal detonators and jet pack; Shaw also took DC-15s and plaster pistol, but instead of grenades he was carrying a set of tools and had a tracking beacon on his back that he planned to leave at the crash side in order to mark it in case they needed to go there again; Tracker had his standard equipment: DC-17 rifle along with side arm, several types of grenades, and a wrist blade. Falcon also took the lightsabers he found on the ship. He’s not going to risk them getting stolen, however small the possibility is.
As for ponies, the only ones who carried something besides the blaster, were Applejack and Rarity. The farm pony had a saddlebag stuffed with food and water, while Rarity carried any tools they might need and medical supplies.
After a short recap of the details about their objective, Falcon ordered them to move out. In his hands he held a map given to him by Princess Luna few days ago. It pointed that their target is somewhere between two mountains they could see from here, about 15 kilometers from where they were now.
First few hours in the forest were spent in relative peace. Nothing really important happened in all that time as they made it through half of the way, and so far it didn’t look like something was going to change. They might have bumped into a pack of Timberwolves along the way, but the moment the clones saw the wooden wolves charging, they immediately opened fire and within few seconds the pack of wolves was turned into a pile of splinters and the group continued as if nothing happened.
Save for Fluttershy, who was shaken up more than when they entered the forest and the whole time was either walking in a middle of a circle composed of her friends, or next to one of the clones. Mostly next to Tracker, which annoyed the commando to no end, even though most of the time so far he seemed to be more open towards the Pegasus than the others. Now for some reason he was quickly getting angry for no reason, something that didn’t escape Falcon’s attention.
It was still early when they moved out, but now after almost three hours of non-stop walking, most of ponies were getting tired and hungry. Falcon decided to allow them for a fifteen minutes of rest.
The first time they have found something interesting was two kilometers further. They have found remains of houses within the forest. Falcon turned around to ask Twilight if there’s anything she can tell about it, but before that, she has already run ahead and started to observe the ruins covered by the forest. “Hmm… interesting…” She muttered to herself and kept doing so for a while. “Aha!” She said with enthusiasm. “I know what it is!”
“Yeah, I think we can tell that those are ruins of some village. You really needed that long to figure that out egghead?” Rainbow said.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I wanted to say that I know what kind of village that is and how old it’s standing here.” She cleared her throat. “This village here was built by one of Plavic tribes that lived on those areas around 4000 years ago. The architecture and few decorations that are still partly intact suggest that it was a tribe that moved here from the east during the great Plavic expansion 4302 years ago. Since what’s left the building is made out of stone, I think it’s fair to say that this is part of a bigger village and those were houses that belonged to more important tribe members.”
“Yeah, whatever. Nopony cares.”
“You will care once you’ll be making push-ups until you pass out.” Rainbow almost choked at Falcon’s words. “Which will be tomorrow.” Her ears dropped down. “Alright everyone, I want this area searched. We’ll split into three groups, one human and two ponies each. I’ll go with Applejack and Rainbow Dash, Shaw with Twilight and Rarity and Tracker will take Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. Any questions?”
They all nodded and did as he said. The remains of the village were mostly covered by the forest or simply destroyed so much that nothing could be found in there. “So Truckie, what do you think about Fluttershy?” Pinkie whispered towards the commando.
“Call me Truckie again and I’ll slit your throat.”
Pinkie maintained her carefree smile, completely unfazed by the threat. “Alright Vector-83. Now tell me, what do you think about Fluttershy.”
“I think that she’s a coward who needs to grow a spine.”
“Do you like her?”
“No.”
“Do you enjoy her company?”
“No.”
“Would you trust her?”
“No.”
“Then why do you always walk around with her?”
“Because… Shut up, damn it. Why do you even ask about it?”
A grin appeared on her face. “I see…” She chuckled quietly. “Now, could you tell me one more thing?”
The command sighed deeply and looked at the pony with annoyed glaze hidden under his helmet. “One question, then you shut up.”
“Alright. Now, tell me… ” She made a dramatic pause that wasn’t really necessary. “…are you a tsundere?”
He blinked in confusion? “What?”
“Just answer the question.” She kept smiling like an idiot, annoying the clone further.
“I don’t even know what that is. What’s the point in me even answering that?”
“Tsundere (ツンデレ)- a Japanese term for a character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing a warmer side over time. The word is derived from the terms tsun tsun (ツンツン), meaning ‘to turn away in disgust’, and dere dere (デレデレ) meaning to become ‘lovestruck’.
This is a test you see, if you answer ‘yes’, then you are a tsundere, obvious right? Now, if you say ‘no’ then… obviously you’re not being honest with you feelings - classic tsundere trait, and you are in fact a tsundere. And this in turn means, that you actually like Fluttershy!”
“…” He didn’t even bothered himself with answering, instead turning around and walking towards Fluttershy. It’s not that he likes her or anything, but she’s still better than that that pink airhead.
He momentarily took off his helmet- “I knew it! You’re blushing! That’s the proof that you are a tsundere!” -and ignoring Pinkie’s words switched the mode at which his artificial eye operated to be able to see if there is anything under them.
And there was in fact something.
One of the ruined houses had a basement still somewhat intact, with a way to go inside. He switched the eye back into normal mode and placed the helmet back on. Noticing that the commando has changed the direction he walked towards, Fluttershy followed him. “Did you find anything?” She asked. Tracker didn’t answer though, he continued to walk until he entered one of houses that was in surprisingly good condition (which means that it wasn’t reduced to one wall that was still standing). Before she could say anything, Tracker pointed his weapon forward and opened fire.
She jumped away in surprise while Tracker lowered his rifle and continued to walk deeper into the building. Still shaken up, Fluttershy followed him inside. But the moment she walked in, she froze in place. Because inside, lied corpses of two Cockatrices. Each had several burning holes on their bodies, and under them was a nest. “D-Did you know they are here?”
“Yes.”
“T-Then why didn’t you tell anything!? I could have talk to them and ask them to let us in without killing them!”
“Because your ability to talk with animals is unreliable.” He said coldly. “It might be impressive but need I remind you what happened with that bear few days ago? How do you think this would end if I wasn’t there to knock it out?” She didn’t answer, lowering her head. “You would be dead.” Ignoring her, Tracker knelt down and opened a trap door on the floor, revealing stairs that led downstairs. “Tracker here. I’ve found something.” He said through com-link after going downstairs.
The thing he found were bones of three ponies. Two adults and one children. Naturally, he couldn’t tell much about them save for that, since his eyes didn’t really allow him to see many details. That’s why he waited for others to come here.
The first ones to get there, were Shaw and his group. “O-ho, I see you have something interesting here.” The engineer said. He and Twilight approached the bones and he knelt down and turned on his flash lights. “Now isn’t that interesting…”
“Are those black spots what I think they are?”
“Most likely. Those were left by blaster fire.” He explained. “And if the broken parts of bones and burn barks on the wall behind them mean anything, then these three were likely tortured and interrogated before being executed. See those opened holes on their forehooves? That’s where someone used a knife to pierce through the hoof…”
“What have you found?” They heard Falcon say. The commander looked at the bones. “Oh.”
“Seems like we’ve found one of the villages visited by our ‘demon’.” Shaw said. “These guys were definitely tortured before being executed.”
He nodded and glanced back at the bones. “Well, it’s not like we could do anything about it. Let’s keep going, I think that’s all we can find in this place.” And with that said, everyone left the village and continued walking in direction of the mountains.
Before reaching the mountains, they’ve found another ruined village along the way. They also decided to see if they can find something interesting there, and they did. Pieces of armor scattered around the ground. Those were probably remains of a group that was sent to handle the ‘demon’. There were no bones though. The bodies were probably taken by the local predators and what they found were just pieces that fell off of the bodies.
They also found another execution site. And just like before, ponies there had signs of torture on their bones. This all has led them to believe that the ship that crushed most likely did not belong to the republic. Nor did it belong to some merchant or normal citizen. Whoever crushed here didn’t hesitate to kill and torture, and the only group that they could think of to do it on that scale from that period were mandalorians.
Luna said that the ponies who survived the encounter with the demon was red. And if what they said during training on Camino was to be trusted, at that time mandalorians wore full body metal armors, some painted red. Falcon’s theory was that a single mandalorian was flying in a shuttle but for some reason ended up jumping into hyperspace and appearing here only to crush land on the planet. Then he decided to see if this world’s inhabitants could be considered ‘worthy foes’ and started killing them. Then to find out more about this place, he started to torture random ponies to get answers from them even though it wasn’t necessary because they would tell anything out of fear, meaning that he was also a sick sociopath who wanted to have some fun.
There were of course other possible explanations, but this one made most sense to him.
After searching the village they entered a space between the two mountains where Luna pointed out the crush side. By now it was already past the noon, so Falcon announced another break. ”Hey, Tracker.” He called out to the commando. “Come with me for a moment.” He walked away from the group.
“What is it, sir?” The commando asked.
Ignoring the unnecessary formalities, Falcon begun. “What is it with you and Fluttershy?”
“I’m not sure what you mean by that, sir.”
“Don’t play stupid. You’ve been getting along with her nicely, but for a while now you act as if you hate her for some reason. Why is that?” Tracker didn’t respond, turning away his head in silence. “Answer. Now.” Falcon demanded.
They’ve spent another few moments in silence before Tracker finally spoke up “I’ve lost my squad two times… First I’ve lost the people with whom I grew up and trained… and then those who accepted me in their ranks and helped me move forward… I don’t want to lose anyone I care for ever again, and that’s why I want to stay away from her. Because I’ve been feeling that she grows too close to me and I don’t want that.”
Falcon sighed. “Well, I’m relieved. I was almost sure she did something to piss you off. Now, you said that Phantom Squad has helped you to get over that cursed mission, right? Who’s to say that she can’t help you get over their death?” Tracker kept his head hanging low, looking away from the commander. “Anyways, I have a new assignment for you.” This got his attention. “You’re going to create and train a special unit within ‘Lunar Ravens’. You will get to choose from available candidates and once they get here, you will start training them. Is that clear?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now let’s go back.” He turned to leave. “And I expect you to properly handle things with Fluttershy.” He added.
“…Yes, sir.”
They went back to the group. Falcon immediately turned his attention towards Fluttershy, who was sitting on a rock. “Fluttershy.” He called out to her, getting her attention. “You’re getting reassigned.” She looked at him with confusion, so did everyone else. “From now on, you are a part of a commando unit trained by Tracker, and he’s going to be in charge of your training from this moment.”
Both the pegasus and commando looked at each other with wide eyes. “Say what!?” They both yelled.
Rainbow and Pinkie started laughing like idiots at their reaction. “And as for you Dash…” She suddenly became silent. “I want you to scout those mountains and see if you find anything that might be what we’re looking for. Contact me through com-link if you spot it.” She immediately proceeded to fulfill the order.
“Sir, you can’t be serious!” Tracker yelled from behind. “She’s afraid of her own blasted shadow and you want me to train her into a commando!?”
“Yes, I do.”
“T-Then what about girls?” Fluttershy spoke out. “You said you want me to be team’s medic, who will-“
“I’m going to put Abuyin in your place.” Falcon cut in, silencing her altogether. “Any other objections?” He turned towards Tracker.
“…No, sir.”
“Good. Now-“ His com link ranged. ”Well, that was fast. Rainbow Dash, have you found anything?”
“Um… Yeah… I think I’ve found it…”
“How does it look?”
“U-Uh… Well… it’s mostly covered by the forest but I can tell that it’s kinda like pizza without one slice…”
“That doesn’t tell us much Rainbow.” Twilight cut in.
“I might do something about that.” Shaw said. “Rainbow, did you take that camera I gave you?”
“Yeah, but I don’t remember how to turn that thing on.”
The clone sighed. “I’ll turn it on myself, just point it at the ship.”
“Got it.”
Within the next few seconds, Shaw remotely turned on the camera, all the while Falcon was already leading them towards Rainbow’s position. Shortly after turning the camera on, Shaw displayed the footage from it on his helmet. “You’re holding the camera the other way around Rainbow…” He pointed out.
“Ups, sort.”
She quickly corrected her mistake and pointed the camera at the ship the correct way. Shaw looked at it, and almost choked. “Impossible…” Everyone turned their heads towards him. “This ship… It’s… it’s the Ebon Hawk!”
“What!?” Both Falcon and Tracker yelled in union.
“Jeez… first Falcon now Hawk… what do you folks have with- AH!” Clones were pulled out of their confusion upon hearing Rainbow’s scream through the com-link.
“Rainbow!” Everyone yelled. They heard sounds of branches breaking as she fell down. The camera fell out of her hooves, falling away from her and breaking against the ground. “Rainbow Dash, what happened!? Can you hear me!?” Falcon yelled into the com link. But they didn’t hear Rainbow’s response, only the sound of her pain filled screams as she hit the ground and that of breaking bones.
But soon one more sound appeared.
One more metallic in nature.
And then an equally metallic voice rang through the com link.
“Quarry: How do you wish to die, meatbag?”