//------------------------------// // (2) Terminal Velocity // Story: Fist full of Iron // by Nosguy //------------------------------// The blackout only lasted a few seconds. I woke up to find myself staring straight at the bright sun. "ARGH!!" I quickly turned over to see that the ground is thousands of feet up from me and is approaching me... wait a minute. Begin Calming procedures... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Internet Explorer has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience. "OHSHIT! Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit!" I was high. Really high. Extremely fucking high. Did I mention I have acrophobia? I was fucking falling from thousands of feet up and I still had not broken through cloud cover yet. Wait... I got changed right? I immediately feel around my back for wings and find... Nothing. This... this was not gonna end well... My mind was reeling and hoping that I could find some way to break my fall as I fell straight through the cloud cover. Blood continued to seep out of my chest, wait... I'm still bleeding? Crap, no time to think of it now. I broke through the clouds to find a large city on a cliff with an airship moored to it. Wait... an airship? I fell towards it and got a closer look. Okay, that's a very nice airship, with a Laser Cannon... An airship with a... wait what?! I had the sudden feeling I just dropped into pre-war Fallout: Equestria... A grey pegasus that was flying along caught my attention as she/he/it almost hit me. Sorry, but as much as I like ponies, road rage takes overs. "Pick a lane, you asshole!" I screamed as I fell, the pegasus paying me no mind. People these days... My mind immediately went back to the task at hand. How do I make it to the ground safely without looking like a pancake? I dropped closer and closer near the airship, only to notice I could not land on top of it. At this point I would say I was screwed, but there was however a rope I saw attached to the ship, and I was just in arm's reach of it. Gravity continued to be my accelerator as I got closer to the rope. I only had one shot at this and I prayed that Lady Luck would forget the time I cussed her out at Blackjack and give me another chance. I looked at the rope and saw it was about eighty feet away from me. So I'll need to the think pretty quick. I was about 10,000 feet up when I fell, and average jumpers fall at a rate of 213 feet per second at that height. I have yet to reach terminal velocity, so I am probably falling less than that speed. Just about 196, possibly. Eighty feet away fro- oh shit! I reached out with my arm and grab the rope with my barrel sized hand... wait what? I immediately swing around and break the rope off from its anchor. The rope swings me around the underside of the ship straight into nice, soft, comforting stone wall near the castle. I crash and break through the wall and see ponies inside stare in shock as my body comes crashing through not one, not two, but three walls. All while bleeding out. I seriously hate that stranger. I break through and finally crash into a pony's bedroom and land into another wall, causing a pile of rubble to fall on me. "I swear to God, Lady Luck, you are a fickle-," I cough and grunt as I slowly turn around to find a pink alicorn with a beautiful mane, and a white unicorn with a two tone blue mane... pointing his horn straight at me. I give them both a weak smile. "Well," I look at them both, and put on my best happy-go-lucky Irish man accent. "Top of the morn to ya laddie, and to you as well lass." The unicorn gave me a glare, but the alicorn had a look of worry on her. I think I interrupted something pretty important, wait. Their horns have rings on them. They are married. Ah hell... I ran straight into Shining Armor and Cadence. I looked down at myself and notice that I still had blood all over my body and it was flowing through into the carpet. At this point, I'm not sure if it was the blood loss or my own stupidity, but out of everything I could have said, the first thing I said to royalty was, "I have a boo boo." And promptly passed out. ------------------*-------------------*--------------------*----------------------*-------------------- "I don't know about this Cadence, this thing. It doesn't seem right. It's not even Equestrian either." "But he is injured! And he is bleeding out! We have to help him. I've tried healing him with my magic, but he just won't stop bleeding. He has something inside of him and we need to get it out!" "Cadence! Have you tried listening to his chest? There is something there and I don't like the sound of it." "Pardon me, sir, madam, the doctor has arrived, where is the patient?" "Over there on the bed, thank you. Shining, listen. He is obviously lost. I don't know what about him, but he does not seem intent to hurt any-" "Intent to hurt anyone? Have you seen the size of his arm?! It is as if he just took a steel barrel and stuck it on his arm!" "Ugh, the hell happened last night?" "He's awake!" I looked around to find myself on... the most comfortable bed ever! Oh God, this was like sleeping on clouds. Wait, I'm in Equestria, it probably is a bed of clouds. I looked towards the sound of the voices to see the alicorn smiling at me. "I'm glad you are awake," she said with a soothing tone. "The doctor is here and he is going to take care of you. He will know more about what is going on then we will, we tried our best though." I looked at my body and saw that I had bandages covering me where the buckshot hit me. And I was still bleeding. "Question, miss..." "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but you can call me Cadence, and this is my husband, Shining Armor, Captain of the Equestrian Guard." "A pleasure, but when you two were treating me, did you happen to take any bits of metal out? You know shiny little bits of lead maybe?" "No?" "Well, I would hate to destroy your hospitality and your expertise at first aid... but I might die if we don't get them little bastards out, and soon. GET THAT DOC IN HERE NOW!" My mind was in full medical mode now. I breathed in slowly in an attempt to calm myself. One... Peel off bandages slowly, find area of wound. The wound has already healed. Doctor has arrived. Tell him to take scalpel and re-open wounds. Two... Fight through pain. Grab gauze, stem blood flow. Reexamine wounds. Look for points of entry. Get flipped over, check for points of exit. Full Count: Eight points of entry, three points of exit. Minimum count is five pellets. Location is at lung with wound over two, stomach with possibility of two to three and then heart with possibility of one. May have missed. Three Tell Doc location of pellets. Bite down on something. Reassure royalty. Pray. "MHMFFFM!" My muffled screams caused Cadence to flinch a little. "Doctor, please hurry." Shining Armor watched next to the doctor, holding the tray with his magic to drop the pellets in. The earth pony doctor looked at me before I nodded for him to continue. Another flash of pain bit through me as sweat poured through me. That's three pellets, two left. I looked at the tray and saw the pellets. These things were huge. they were about half an inch in diameter. I had those inside of me? Really now? I hear the clatter of another pellet as it gets dropped on the tray. One left, and its right near my heart too. I looked at Shining Armor as I saw him stare at my chest. Wait, I never really did get to examine myself now did I? I was silver skinned, and about five feet six inches tall. I had the body of a monkey? No, no I couldn't be. I saw a tail laying over the bed on the Doctor's side. I turned my head and found a mirror on a vanity to the left of the bed. I had horns. Small horns, but horns none the less. Why, oh why did I look like Hellboy? I lifted up my arm and, yup big surprise, its one arm was the size of a barrel. The stick I was biting down on fell as I stared at myself. "Heh, what do you know, I guess this really is a myth- FUCKING COCKSUCKING SON OF A BITCH!" I swear, I think I just taught a few foals some new words. I heard the last pellet drop into the tray as the doctor and Cadence worked together to replace my bandages. Shining Armor moved out of the way and started to examine the pellets that were inside of me. "Thank you Doctor, you did some wonderful work," I told the earth pony in front of me. "Oh thank you," he said. "But I'm not a doctor, I'm a veterinarian." What? "You're kidding me right? Ah to hell with it, I look like a monkey anyway..." I shook hands with the doctor/veterinarian (with my left hand, mind you) and apologized for not being able to pay him. "No worries, I'm on the Princess's payroll, she pays me to take care of Philomeena, don't know why though." I smiled and thought about the trolling phoenix, I should meet that bird later. The vet left the room leaving me with Cadence, and Shining Armor. I smiled at them and winked. "So how's it going everypony?" Shining Armor just looked at me, while Cadence giggled a bit. "What are you," asked Shining Armor. "What am I? What are you?" The nerve of some people, geez. "How did you even get here?" "Well you see, when a momma monkey, and daddy monkey love each other a whole bunch, they buy a barrel and soon they have a whole bunch of monkeys." I spoke with the most serious tone, snorted and said, "Kidding mate, I actually just... Well I dropped in, literally. I fell from about 10,000 feet up and barely made it to where I wouldn't die." Shining Armor just stared at me, pondering. Cadence smiled a bit, not in a flirty way, but in that way that is meant to comfort others, kind of like a nurse comforting a patient. Shining Armor gave Cadence a look and they stared at each other for a while. Must be telepathy, I don't know, but Cadence nodded when they looked away. "Dear, I must leave for a while, please feel free to sleep here for a bit if you need to. I'll be back in a little while." And with that, she left me with the Captain of the Royal Guard, a.k.a. badass with a license to prove it. As she closed the door with magic, Shining Armor's horn started to glow and a book appeared in front of us. I read the spine, The Equestrian Guide to Mythical Creatures and the Like, well I could see where this was going. "Now then," Shining pulled up two chairs and a table. "We are going to find out what you are, before I have to leave soon." I nodded and took a chair. "Geez mate, never took you guards to be the bookworm type." "No, but my sister is."