//------------------------------// // (1) I'm here to make a withdrawal // Story: Fist full of Iron // by Nosguy //------------------------------// Today, today is obviously not a good day... I'm out of school this summer and am in between jobs. I have a crappy apartment, with crappy neighbors, with crappy furnishing, and oh yeah, no income. I had to run to the bank to make a deposit because I got some cash that my parents were kind enough to send me, as they were on vacation in Hawaii... The bank was in its usual Friday, just before closing time, rush. And wouldn't you know it, after 30 minutes of waiting in line to make the deposit behind people who actually have a job, three people in ski masks came in with guns. What rhymes with snobbery? That's right, I was stuck in the middle of a goddamn robbery. "Good afternoon to all of you hard working assholes today," said the guy with a handgun. "My associates and I have decided that today we needed some money from the bank and wanted to make a withdrawal, now if all of you could please put your heads down on the ground." No one in the lobby moved. BANG! "I said PUT YOUR FUCKING HEADS ON THE GROUND! And hands where I can see them!" Near the desk and near me, a baby was crying. Shit... this was not a good day to be a mom. I kept my face towards the ground as the men walked around, taking money from vendors, the people, whoever. I gave my deposit to one of them as they came by, and the baby was still crying, even while the mom was trying to shush her child. I looked at the kid and starting whispering a song to her that I learned from one of my TV shows that I could catch. "Hush now, quiet now, It's time to lay your sleepy head Hush now, quiet now, It's time to go to bed. Hush now, quiet-" "Will that kid not shut the fuck up!" The man with the handgun went up to the mother and pointed it at her head. "Madam, I will only ask you to do this once, and only once. Get your fucking kid to stop fucking crying." Poor woman, she was shaking so bad she could hardly hold her kid. I looked at the man's gun. I'm a bit of a gun nut, and I can say this, it was a beautiful gun. A Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum Stealth Hunter with gray carbon on the barrel and a polished wood grip. It has quite a punch to it. It was then I noticed he was looking at me, while I was looking at his gun, while it was pointed at the mother. "The fuck you looking at, bitch." "Just admiring the gun, mate," I answered, with a bit of hesitation when I said gun. He looked at it himself and muttered, "Yeah, it really is... Wanna see how much damage it can do?" He points the gun at the crying baby. Through his mask I could see a wicked grin slice through the fabric. At this point, the kid cried louder, covering the volume of my beating heart. My mind immediately went on the fritz. I looked at him and looked for the other two men. They were both standing there, watching. Wanting to see, no, craving for some blood spill. I breathed in as my mind went through my options and picked my best one. One... Breathe out. Arm is in reach of revolver. Grab gun. Swing arm. Punch throat. Jerk arm holding gun away from kid. Point gun down before he fires. Two... Swing man around. Keep him between you and other assailants. Tear gun out of his grip. Hold gun towards other robbers. Keep tight grip on bullet sponge's neck. Three... "Give up now or I'll kill him!" Doesn't take warning. Quick Aim. Fire. Headshot on one. Quick A- Oof! The air went out of my lungs. Shit, I didn't keep a tight grip on him! He steps away from me, big mistake. I take the revolver and point the barrel into his gut and pull the trigger. What a fucking mess... I look towards the last man and finally notice he has a shotgun. And it is pointed at me. "Ah fuck me..." I pull up my gun and immediately pull the trigger and hit him in the chest, he falls backwards as soon as he pulls the trigger. BANG! An explosion fills the room as the shotgun clatters to the ground. Well that wasn't too bad, now was it. I look around the room and smile at everyone, while they all stare back at me, no, my stomach. I look down at it and see blood spreading through my shirt quickly, and see another stain growing around my chest. My head starts to get dizzy. I fall to the ground and hear someone order "Call 911!" People immediately rush towards me as blood pours onto the carpet as I lay on the ground. A man grabs my hand and says "You'll be just fine, my friend." I give him my biggest "yeah, bullshit" look. "I have a question friend, I heard you singing to that child, do you like My Little Pony?" That's a random question to ask, wait he is probably just trying to keep me awake. "Yeah, I watch it on the weekends and read a lot of the fan fictions, hell my phone has a few songs on it too." "How would you feel about going there. You know, to Equestria." I snort. "Ha, mate you must be mad, we all know that place is a fairy tale. But, it would be pretty nice to hang out with my favorite ponies. *cough* Oh shit, is that blood? Fuck..." I look around and notice that everyone else that was moving is frozen. It was just the stranger and I. "Well, what if I told you that Equestria is real. And it might just save your life too. You have buckshot in your intestines and in your lungs and I'm pretty sure it hit a part of your heart too. Magic just might save you." "Haha, well *cough*, if you are so sure about that, send me. But, let me keep my hands, let me keep this gun, and give me some ammo. God knows that if the fan fictions are true, I'll probably drop on top of a manticore." The stranger looked at me, and chuckled. "Well, the gun, you may have to find it yourself, I can give you a way to do that. And if you are so sure about that, how about a friendly little wager? When you get to Equestria, you will meet some curious folks. Each of them are capable of some pretty amazing things. If you join them, and help them win the game, you win. If you lose however, well... I'll have to think about that one." Was this guy for real? The blood continued to seep through the carpet around me as I weighed the choice in my mind. If I go, I'll probably be saved and then get to meet my favorite ponies! If I don't I'll probably be saved, but still have to pay off my apartment. Either choice I have a chance of dying. But only one choice leaves me financially screwed. "Do it." The stranger smiled and pulled back his arm. "Have a nice fall!" He laughed and stuck his arm INTO MY FUCKING CHEST AND SQUEEZED!!!! "FUCK YOU!" I dropped as everything turned to black. A/N: First chapter done! Been a while since I wrote anything, so please give me criticism, and I hope you find a bit of irony in the next chapter. Out of all the gods I could have been summoned by... I got the asshole of the group. Thank you Blackwing, Rust, JJ Malcolm, Tamara Bloodhoof, and Io and anyone else who is writing in the universe. I can't wait to see what kind of a clusterfuck happens.