//------------------------------//
// In Which a Deal is Made 
// Story: The Usurper King of Equestria 
// by UsurperBronyZant 
//------------------------------//

*Location:  Boundary Temple, Everfree/Badlands Border, Equus, Now...

Okay. This...was bad.

There was a pony trapped in this temple somewhere, and her vitals weren't looking so great, which meant she would be harder to track. I had two companions, one of whom was an unconscious changeling. And this temple was full of all sorts of lovely creatures that most likely didn't mean well, to put it lightly. And I was in a body that wasn't my own, that was starting to run low on magic.

Yeah, bad? Massive understatement.

I tried to think of someplace to start, but I couldn't seem to focus on any one thing. Whenever I thought of one plan, some other variable popped into my mind that would render said plan moot. As I kept trying to think of plans, I started to feel...odd. I let out a frustrated growl as I continued to try to think of something, ANYTHING to do.

When she heard me, Lilium turned to see what was going on. She had been focusing on Rhyssa, trying to wake her up. The diclonius had a look of concern on her smoky-furred face. When she did so, I was reminded of the calming technique I'd taught myself:  deep breath, in, and out. I did so, and things came back into focus somewhat.

I closed my eyes for a moment to get my bearings, then opened them. "Okay," I said, trying to sound confidant. "Let's see here." I walked over to Rhyssa and used my diagnostic spell. Luckily, she wasn't seriously hurt, but she needed to wake up. We couldn't exactly haul her all over the temple. 

"What have you tried so far?" I asked Lilium. All I got in response was a shrug.

"Okay then," I muttered. "How to wake her up, then?" I wondered. I looked around for options. There really wasn't much other than the desert ruins around us...

My eyes fell upon the canister Church had left, which was apparently full of concentrated love. To me, it looked like a glass (or perhaps plexiglass or some such thing?) cylinder full of solid magenta...something. "Is that a gas or a liquid?" I asked myself under my breath. "Shit's so full ya can't even tell." Either way, I didn't want to risk it; if it was a gas then the moment I unsealed it, it could very likely be gone.

"Hmm, what else can I do..." Suddenly I got an idea. Cruel and childish, for sure, but if cartoons weren't lying then this would work. I raised my arm so that my sleeve fell, exposing my arm to the elements. I quietly walked over to Rhyssa and knelt down beside her. I briefly considered whether I really wanted to do this, but then thought, "Fuck it, I need her awake."

I stuck my finger in my mouth (probably not the most hygenic thing to do given the circumstances), quickly pulled it out, and proceeded to give Rhyssa a wet willy.

The immature act had the desired effect:  the changeling infiltrator's solid-blue eyes snapped open as she awoke with a jolt. She yelped as she sprang to her hooves. "What was that for?!" she yelled.

I chuckled a bit, doing my best to not break out into full-on laughter. "Sorry, but we need to get going," I said. "Pretty much everything in here wants to kill us, and we have a mare to save."

"I never agreed to anything," Rhyssa said, sounding understandably a bit irritated.

I'd had a feeling it wasn't going to be that easy, but hey, a guy can hope, can't he?

I let out a disappointed sigh. "Okay," I said. My expression changed from jovial to serious. "Let me put it this way then. That guy that more or less hired you to kill me and the princess? You really think he'll honor the deal you made with him? Yeah, he's a legit demon. And the moment he's done with you, he'll toss you aside like a piece of trash. Because to him, you're just a pawn."

The changeling's eyes widened in shock at this. "No," she said, sounding breathless. "No. Not again..."

I had her now. "Yep. But how about I make you another offer," I said. "Help us find Desert Gem, and you can stay with us for a while. Get your strength back. We might need to ask you for help with a couple other things, but think of it as paying your dues."

"H-how do I know I can trust you?" Rhyssa asked, sounding as though she were still in shock.

This time it was Lilium who spoke up. "You don't..." she said softly.

Rhyssa's big, sky-blue, bug-like eyes looked from me to Lilium a few times. The fear was obvious in them. After a short while, she finally let out a sigh and looked to the ground. "Okay..." she said, sounding defeated.

I put on a friendly smile and patted her on the shoulder. "Thank you," I said, doing my best to sound comforting. "You won't regret this." Lilium came over and hugged Rhyssa. For a moment, I was sure the latter was going to break out into tears, though whether this was due to her anatomy or her emotions, I couldn't tell. I just didn't know anything about changelings. 

"Though you had best honor the deal that was made with the metal one," Rhyssa said when Lilium broke her embrace.

"Metal one?" I wondered. "Oh, you mean Church," I said. "Yeah, you'll have to help me out there. I mean, I might have some books on changeling culture? But I doubt it. Hate to break it to you, but changelings aren't exactly a common sight, so not a lot is known about them, let alone their culture, and I think it's safe to guess that a good portion of what's in the books is misinformation."

Rhyssa let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes (I think. It's hard to tell when she doesn't have pupils). "Fine," she said, in a tone that matched her expression. "Though I don't think now is the best time."

"Agreed," I said. "For now, we have a mare to find." I turned to look deeper into the temple. My memories of Metroid had faded a bit, but the area certainly looked familiar. And if I was correct, we'd have a fair bit of exploration to do...