"Dear Diary,
You've been sitting on my dresser since the day I got you. My sister had given you to me a few century's back, I never thought I would have a reason to write in you. I never thought I would actually pick you up. I would usually just go to her if I had a problem, but now I understand its a way to let out my feelings. I can't do this anymore... I am alone. I have no other way to cope.
Well, it used to seem I had nothing to write about, I now have too much to write about.
Lets start off with knowing a little about myself. Start at the beginning, let it all out.
I have white fur, and I am a winged unicorn, an "Alicorn", whom goes by the name of Celestia. I am a savior to the land in which I live. I am the princess of the sun, in which I raise everyday at the break of dawn. It is my duty to bring this land alive and light the day. Only, I didn't know that my own fate could cause one I love dearly to leave my side. It wasn't always like this, you see.
Thousands of years ago, an evil residence resided along the borders of the world, enslaving everyone in his reach. Havoc was spread, for The Lord in which we were ruled under was the king of chaos. He was striving to wreck and control all in which his heart desired, and he did just that. Upside down houses, chocolate milk rain, popcorn fields... Equestria was a mess. Cotton candy clouds and sidewalks made of soap, our world was left in complete mayhem. Ponies were no longer in control of their world. With the evil draconequus at the throne, there was no hope for the creatures of this once beautiful land.
However, I was soon brought face to face with the monster himself. I saw the dying land and the faces of broken ponies, and I could not bare it any longer. As I gained courage and sadness upon those around me, I sought out power to defeat the king, who went by the name of Discord. Of course I didn't do it alone, I was helped by the side of my sister Luna. Yes, I have a little sister, who was- very...
I - we - defeated the master of chaos, with the help of very powerful Elements that we had found. These Elements came from the Tree of Harmony, for the tree was very powerful. All in which is good is spread through out the tree, connecting harmony inside it. As long as Harmony remained through the land, the tree would live and let forth it's power. Although, there was one element that I had an odd feeling about. Some sort of connection had drawn me towards it. I felt a large force coming from it, and somehow, it was able to bring me complete peace. I knew at that moment that I didn't have to fear Discord, for this element and it's companions held what I needed.
I didn't know what it meant, but I knew it meant something powerful.
We were able to take the Elements out of the captive stone, and the Tree of Harmony would still remain peaceful. Though, if harmony was ever to be broken, the Tree would slowly die, and so would life soon after. After seeing the land in such dismay, I had come to the conclusion that it had to be done. The ponies were an intelligent and friendly race, and I had hoped that with the Elements at their side, their optimistic spirits would hold no battle against Discord's defeat, and the land would remain peaceful and unharmed, even without the Elements in their rightful place.
Luna and I had rose up to Discord's throne, and we weren't happy. The king of chaos laughed however; the thought of two ponies standing up to his had him in tears. I don't think he really knew what he was up against that day, for we pulled out the Elements and activated them with our power, capturing the king in stone for thousands of years to become.
We held the Elements in a secret stone underground at our old castle. We had promised to only use them when fate depended on it. The uprising of Discord was only one of many villains who had sought declaration over this thriving land, I had only learned this in the years to come.
I, Princess Celestia, who ruled by the side of Princess Luna. We were praised and loved throughout the land, defeating foes and keeping the lives of others out of harms way. We maintained harmony above our subjects for centuries, and ever since then I have tried my best to do whatever I could in the need of my kingdom. Though some cases were harder than I thought, I had made a promise to never abandon my land. And I never did.
My sister, was not treated equally in her case, for I didn't abandon my kingdom but instead her, and I will always be forever responsible. I have lived hundreds of years upon my regret for my mistakes, 290, to be exact, but the burden will never escape my heart. All of the memories of my doings have brought out depression and sadness, and I am incapable of handling my new responsibilities right. If I could only turn back time, and change everything from that one fateful night...
The reason of this, is my fault. I was cast away in the beam of the limelight, whilst my sister was buried beneath the length of the shadows. She tried to explain, tried to tell me about the nightmares she was experiencing, about the loneliness deep down in her heart. I was the one who didn't listen. I was always so busy, being the leader of an entire land wasn't a simple job. Luna took care of the duties of the night, and I took care of the ones in the day. Ponies awaken during the day, go about their business; I always had a hoof-full more to handle than Luna ever did. I was stressed, tired, but I did it for my land, for my kingdom, for my subjects.
Eventually, I tried to reason with Luna. I apologized for my absence and tried to explain that I was always busy. I couldn't seem to catch a break. She took this as an insult, however, and began screaming at me that she too had royal duties, but always made time to try and bond with me. I now understand how wrong I was, I should've been there for her. I tried to be, honest... but Luna's words got to me. In some cases she would state I didn't love her, and I would find her to lock herself away to cry. As I tried to comfort her it became worse and worse. I hadn't had time to pay much attention to her, and she soon got the idea that I hated her. Hearing those words come out of her mouth infuriated me. I was doing the best I could for everypony, I handled an entire kingdom on my own. I couldn't even look her in the eyes when she made that assumption. I felt tears in my eyes as I strode away, not even to tell her I loved her. It was the worst mistake of my life.
She had grown more powerful than I had thought she would ever be capable of being. Jealousy had gotten to her, and I hadn't had much time to calm her down. She produced darkness upon the land, and shattered coldness through our kingdom. I didn't want to lower the moon, I wanted her to do it. It was her duty, but I could see it in her eyes. She wasn't going to.
This was not my sister.
She didn't listen to me, she continued to fire at me with hatred. I tried to stop her, but I couldn't do anything. She shot magic at me and aimed to beat me into the ground. At this point I knew she wasn't going to stop.
My sister was trying to kill me.
She had warned me and I hadn't listened. All those nights she came into my room shouting "Tia! TIa! Look at the starts tonight!" and I didn't move a muscle.
The times she came to give me a goodnight kiss on the cheek, and I was already fast asleep.
The times she would sit with me while I rose the sun, even though I never sat with her when she rose the moon.
My heart broke in that moment. I knew what I had to do. I didn't want it to come to this, but if I didn't do something, she was going to kill me. The land would die without sunlight. The ponies would freeze to death and I would let down millions of poor innocent lives.
I began to cry, but I picked them up. They spun around me, creating a rainbow trail. After I had rose into the night sky, I glanced in her direction. I had to do it. I knew however, deep down, my sister was in there somewhere. All I could think about if she would ever forgive me.
My heart shattered.
I used the Elements and banished Luna to the moon for a thousand years.
I remember sitting there, sobbing until my eyes were red. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak, it was as if the entire world froze. My mind was dizzy. I couldn't feel a thing. Was that how Luna felt?
If only I would have listened, cared, and treated her like a little sister, maybe this wouldn't have happened. I can't say if I'll ever see her again, but if I do, I would never be able to handle sanity. I am unstable, and have emotionally been drawn from correctly ruling over my kingdom, thus being handed to the powers of Princess Cadance, whom helps rule by my side to maintain the harmony.
And as I stand here, gazing out upon my weakened kingdom, I long for the day of my sisters return. I have had nightmares of her returning to hate me for my doings, or to never return at all. I'm afraid my sister won't be forgivable, and I may never rule by her side again. I was once strong but I'm beginning to shatter, and I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I keep glancing up at the moon in the darkened sky, praying, just praying to her to hold on tightly, and maybe she would return someday. If I could only trade myself in her place to understand the pain she's going through, I would- I love her so much, and I miss her.
She's my little sister, and I will forever be sorrowful. She is a friend, a sister, a daughter, and will forever be
A true princess of the night.
With all regret,
Your big sis, Tia."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celestia then drew back away from the balcony in which she stood upon, and used her magic to tear out and roll the diary entry, securing it with a red piece of thread. She closed her eyes and prayed to her beloved sister, and cast the letter out the window. The wind blew it up past the clouds, and as it blew out of sight, Celestia felt warm tears welling up in her eyes. She glanced up at the moon, sighing heavily. Turning around, she began to stumble into bed, praising her sorry to her sister who shines up above.
A thousand years of regret.