Light in the dark
Chapter 5
The sun had long set to make room for the moon. The sounds of nurses in the hallways and patients talking had long made way for the ever aching silence. The orange filly, lying in her bed, had been trying to fall asleep for a long time. Her eyelids had long grown heavy and wanted to close, but her mind wouldn’t let them.
She had tried everything; sleeping under the blankets, on top of the blankets, halfway under and halfway up top. Nothing seemed to help. She had even gone as far as trying to lie down on the ground, only to discover that the drip, which was still attached to the leg, couldn’t reach that far, demanding her return to the bed.
She twisted and turned several more times before giving up, lying down on her back and facing towards the ceiling. Even though it was dark, the white paint on the walls was still visible. It gave the room an eerie glow; and the filly didn’t like the way it toyed with her imagination. She could see shadows walking along the walls, the floor, the ceiling. She knew they weren’t really there, but that didn’t make them less frightening.
‘’Did the door just squeak? No, it must be my imagination. It’s still closed, and there’s nopony there. Everyone in the building is asleep, except for the nightshift nurses. I must’ve imagined it for sure.’’
Just as she calmed herself down, a sudden sensation on her right side caused her to jolt aside in terror, letting out a high scream in addition to the evasive manoeuvre. Something, or somepony, had poked her side all of a sudden without warning, inciting even more fear into the already terrified filly. She now lay on the far side of the bed, away from the thing that had touched her, all curled up and shivering heavily.
‘’Oww, sorry if I scared you, I just didn’t want to make too much noise, if the doctors or nurses find out I’m here they will take me to my own room again for sure,’’ the pony whispered to Scootaloo.
She knew that voice. It was a bit more raspy than usual, but still very distinctive. The light cyan coat was visible ever so slightly through the glow of the white walls, revealing her general contours, but leaving out most other features.
She wanted to reply, to say hi to her, but for some reason she couldn’t get her vocal cords to do anything other than trembling. Her entire body seemed to disobey every command she gave it, paralyzed in shock from the unexpected event.
‘‘What’s the matter Scoot? Did I scare you that much? Oh boy… You seem to have caught it quite badly there. Come here, I’ll help you out,’’ she said while sliding onto the other half of the bed, careful of her splinted wing and leg, wrapping her front hooves around the trembling filly to try and help her relax again.
As she held Scootaloo to her chest, an odd thought came up in her mind. Why was she doing this? She wasn’t the type to comfort someone, to hold them close by? She was the ever-distant, non-caring Rainbow Dash. So why wasn’t she right now? On top of it all, this particular pony was the only one who triggered this behaviour. No other fillies or colts made her act the way she did when she was around the orange filly. So why was that?
Her thoughts were cut off when the shivering ball she had been holding called out for her.
‘’R-rainbow Dash?’’
‘’Yeah?’’
‘’C-could you… Could you please s-stay here? I-I don’t know why, but I feel s-scared of the d-dark. I s-see shadows m-moving all the time, as if there’s s-something there. It f-feels as if I’m still out in the f-forest, except that I’m a-alone…’’
‘’Well, I only came by to check up on how you were doing, if the nurses find out I’m gone from my room they’ll come looking for me. I should probably-‘’ She cut off her own words as Scootaloo clasped herself around Rainbow’s torso tightly, pulling herself against her idol’s chest even more. The cyan pegasus was somehow softened by the filly. She couldn’t help it. She wrapped her fore legs around the orange ball a bit more tightly in return to the filly’s grip.
‘’I guess I could stay a bit longer, no, scrap that, I’ll stay as long as you want me to. It’s not like they’re looking for me already anyway.’’
She could feel Scootaloo loosen up a little from her assuring words, even though she was still shivering and clasping onto her. It wasn’t hard to tell that the filly was bothered by her fears a lot. She could see it in the filly’s eyes, flickering open and shooting in all directions from time to time. Her uncontrollable shivering, her tight grasp around the cyan pegasus’ chest; all were signs of what the filly herself would mark as ‘weakness’, something she normally never showed when she was around her idol.
Rainbow knew that the filly had to be extremely embarrassed by her own behaviour, even though she had no way of controlling it. She was afraid of losing her ‘coolness’ by behaving like this. She always tried to radiate strength when she was around the pegasus, but now she couldn’t.
In a form of reflex, the thought occurred to Rainbow Dash about how she herself would feel if she’d look weak in front of her idols. She knew that Scootaloo was probably having a similar issue, and thus, she did the only thing she could think of to make it less of an embarrassing experience to her.
‘’You know, when I was a filly, I used to be afraid of the dark as well. Except that I had no valid reason to do so. I caught some wandering fireflies back then, and put them in a glass jar. I would keep them with me at night so it wouldn’t be so dark. Funny, isn’t it?’’
This seemed to have the desired effect, as the filly who had previously been burying her head into the mare’s chest now looked up ever so slightly, her shivering hadn’t subsided yet, but at least she wasn’t diving away in horror anymore. It was a start, and a good one at that. She decided it was a good idea to keep talking, as her voice seemed to have a calming effect on the filly as well.
‘’And you’ll never guess who helped me get over it. The one pony of whom one would least expect it: Fluttershy. Back then she was afraid of almost everything, even more so than she is these days, so you can probably guess that I wasn’t too trustful about her when she told me she could help me out. Turns out she was quite the expert on calming others down. For days on end she would take me outdoors at night, showing me that the dark wasn’t just frightening. It can be beautiful as well, if you know where to look for it.’’
‘’Well would you look at that. I’m pretty good at this whole ‘taking care’ thing. Who would’ve thought? Sure, she’s still trembling a little bit, but nowhere near as much as before; and she’s not hiding away anymore either, so I must be doing something right at least.’’
Scootaloo had loosened up a little, relieving her muscles from constant tension from being pulled against the cyan pegasus. Her talking had given the filly a sense of relaxation, albeit very faint. It was enough for the time being though, as she started to talk back.
‘’I don’t even know when it started being like this… I used to fall asleep without a single problem, but at some point, it all changed. I can’t remember why. I just know it did. When we were out there, in the forest… I think that made it worse. I still hear the sound of the wolves in the distance, even though I know they can’t possibly be here. I still feel the damp air, even though it’s as dry as can be. I still see the shadows moving, as if there’s something hiding there, even though I know there isn’t.’’
She started cowering again as she went to name the things she saw or heard, or, at least, what her mind made her think she saw or heard, tightening her grasp once more.
‘’I can imagine an experience like the one we had to go through can be somewhat traumatizing to a filly. Just know that there is no shame, at all, in being afraid of something. We all have fears; and it’s something every one of us learns to live with. Some ponies may say they aren’t afraid of anything, but if they say something like that, I will bet all my bits on it that they’re lying. Nopony is afraid of nothing. Everypony is afraid of something.’’
She gave the filly a reassuring squeeze as she finished up her sentence, urging Scootaloo to resume her talk. She wasn’t even sure why she did all this, or why she seemed to be so good at this, but she didn’t mind it at all. It gave her a warm feeling, knowing that she was doing something good; and not just for herself.
‘’It’s just… It’s just so dark in here…’’ Scootaloo whispered to the pegasus, peering up at her, looking into her magenta coloured eyes slightly.
Rainbow Dash peered through the room. It was indeed quite dark, darker than one would expect in a room like this one. She spotted, what she presumed to be, an easy fix for the stated problem though. On a nightstand on the filly’s side of the bed stood a small lamp, barely visible through the dark, but nevertheless undoubtedly there. She leaned over towards it, careful not to land on top of the filly who was still holding her, and started tapping the object blindly as she tried to find the switch to turn it on.
She found it after tapping clumsily for a few seconds, and the small lamp started giving off a faint glow. It wasn’t much of a light source, but it was one nonetheless.
‘’Is it better like this?’’ she asked after lying back down onto the bed.
The filly shook her head. ‘’It’s still dark… The shadows are still there...’’
The cyan pegasus frowned in thought for a moment. ‘’What can I do to help her out? How do I make her see that the dark is not just a frightening thing..? Wait, that’s it!’’
She pulled up from the bed, stepping off, carefully avoiding her broken hind leg, and indicated to Scootaloo that she would be right back.
She trotted over to the window, checking at first whether it was locked or not. It turned out it wasn’t, so the mare was free to open it and peer outside. She looked up at first, as if she was checking on something. After a few seconds she mumbled something to herself, after which she looked to both the left and the right while hanging halfway through the window, once more mumbling to her own with an approving tone. She then walked back over to the bed, and lifted the filly up.
‘’Let’s go Scoots. I want to show you something. We’ll take that blanket with us as well, it might be cold.’’
‘’Umm, I can’t leave, I’m stuck to the drip with this tube,’’ the filly stated while raising the leg with the tube attached.
‘’Nah, you can pull it out…’’ the Rainbow Dash said, instantly turning words into deeds by removing the drip from the leg, leaving only the plastic casing used to connect it to the veins. ‘’… just like that.’’
She then threw the bed’s blanket over her neck and wrapped it around her fore hooves several times so it wouldn’t get in the way, after which she placed Scootaloo on her back. She then moved over to the window once again, leaning out carefully, then grabbing hold of something that appeared to be just around the corner.
The orange filly clasped herself around the mare’s neck tightly, holding on for dear life, as the pegasus started climbing the water drain that was attached to the hospital’s wall. She didn’t seem to have much trouble doing so, even though she had only three legs to climb with.
It didn’t take her too much time to reach the top, carefully grabbing the hard, rocky edge of the rooftop before pulling herself, Scootaloo, and the blanket up onto the roof. She then lifted the piece of cloth over her head after unwinding it from her legs; and spread it out onto the roof, after which she grabbed the filly from her back and put her down onto it, sitting down onto the remaining part herself.
Scootaloo looked around, somewhat dumbfounded, seemingly not understanding why they were there.
‘’Why did we come up here, Rainbow Dash?’’
‘’Isn’t it obvious? We came here for that,’’ she said, emphasizing the last word while pointing up into the sky. There was not a single cloud within miles; every star could freely shine down onto the land. To add to the already magnificent view, the moon was fully visible. It stood very close to the earth as well, making for an incredible sight.
Every crater, every hill, every mountain; every single detail of the lunar body was visible with the naked eye. Millions of stars added to the amazing view, lighting up the night’s sky and turning the blackness into a dark blue instead.
‘’So, what do you think? Do you like it?’’
Scootaloo couldn’t do anything but gaze in awe at the magnificent view playing out in front of her eyes, her mouth hanging half-open. She was stunned by the beauty the stars, the moon and the sky brought. Her eyes tried to look at every single star, but soon found themselves lost in the enormously vast landscape of light bulbs. She had seen the night’s sky before, but never had it been so perfect, never had it been so beautiful.
‘’Heh, I take that as a yes.’’ The pegasus grinned.
The filly remained silent, mesmerized by the view. It wasn’t until a breeze snapped her out of her dreamlike state that she realized how cold it actually was up on the roof. Her body started giving off light shivers, indicating it needed to warm itself up.
‘’Feeling cold?’’
‘’Nah, it’s not cold at all. I’m fine.’’
The pegasus couldn’t help but grin at the filly’s rediscovered attitude, as she started with putting up the façade of the indestructible, unfaltering pony again. She knew it was all show; and that the filly was probably freezing, and thus, she extended her right wing and wrapped it around Scootaloo, pulling her in once she had a firm grip, pressing her to her side slightly and letting the wing serve as a barrier to the wind.
‘’Better?’’
‘’Yeah… thanks.’’
They sat like that for some time, mainly gazing at the sky. Even Rainbow Dash was still amazed by it sometimes, even though she had seen it numerous times before. For some reason, she loved it even more now that she shared it with the filly who idolized her. She snapped out from the trancelike state when a question popped up in her mind.
‘’Scoot?’’
‘’Yeah?’’
‘’If you don’t mind me asking… That last night in the forest. Why didn’t you leave?
‘’What do you mean?’’
‘’I heard from Applejack that, when they arrived at the scene, you were doing everything you could the shield my body from the storm. Why did you stay with me? You could’ve just ran off and find rescue yourself; and send them towards me afterwards. So why didn’t you?’’
Both of them remained silent for some time, Rainbow looking at the filly expectantly, Scootaloo thinking about the question. Not before long, she thought of a suitable answer.
‘’The thought crosses my mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. When you were lying there, not responding to anything, I felt like you needed my help. I didn’t want to leave, because… I don’t really know. I guess I just… I always wanted to be more like you; and leaving a friend behind by running off would be unlike anything you would do in the same situation. I think that’s why I stayed.’’
They grew silent once more. Rainbow was processing what the filly had said, thinking about her words. She was a bit surprised when Scootaloo started talking again, as if she had left something out.
‘’And… I think that most of all, I stayed because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you… You’re always there when I need someone; you’re always so kind even though I know it can be annoying to have someone hanging around your ankles all the time… You’re like a…’’ The filly gulped before continuing, as if she was expecting a bad reaction from the mare next to her. ‘’ You’re like a big sister to me…’’
A sea of warmth washed over Rainbow Dash after the filly finished her last sentence. She didn’t know why, but it gave her an incredible feeling, as if every bad memory was washed away by this one phrase. ‘’big sister’’.
She wrapped her hooves around the filly and pulled her close, embracing her in an affectionate hug. It was a form of confirmation to the filly. A confirmation that the mare didn’t mind the way Scootaloo thought about her. They remained like that for some time until the filly opened her mouth once more.
‘’Thanks, Rainbow Dash.’’
The pegasus smiled down at her ‘little sister’ before replying to the statement.
‘’You know, when I woke up, I was told that I had suffered from extreme hypothermia, very close to a level that would kill most ponies. So that means that if I would’ve been out in the forest, unprotected, I would’ve probably died. So I think… I think that I’m the one who’s supposed to be thanking you. Thank you, Scoots, for saving my life.’’
A silence followed in which the both of them were just holding eachother; loving each other’s embrace. However, this blissful silence was soon broken by the sound of ponies running through the hallways below them, shouting things to one another. They could hear the door to Scootaloo’s room swing open; and a mare shouting down the hallway: ‘’this one is gone as well!’’, after which the door was slammed shut again.
‘’Sounds like we’re in some big trouble when we get back down.’’ The pegasus grinned down at Scootaloo.
‘’Well, who says we need to go down now?’’ the filly replied with an equally large grin.
‘’I like your attitude. Who knows, maybe you’ll be just as awesome as me one day.’’
And so they lay on the blanket, wrapped in each other’s hooves. They no longer paid any attention to the frantic yelling below them. It was just them, together, in a perfect moment.
‘’It’s strange…’’ Scootaloo said sleepily, ‘’… It’s always so dark, but when you are here, it’s not that bad anymore. It’s like you make the darkness go away.’’
Rainbow looked into the filly’s eyes once more, revelling in the sight of the sparkly bulbs gazing back at her.
‘’If that’s how it is,’’ she spoke slowly, making sure the filly heard every single word she said,
‘’I’ll be your light in the dark.’’