//------------------------------//
// Human in Equestria 
// Story: The Spoof Collection 
// by Nickel Alloy 
//------------------------------//

I was enjoying my normal human life when I fell into a portal suddenly. I became unconscious. Then I woke up in the arms of my waifu, Flutter Shy. 

"Flutter Shy!" I said. "You're my waifu! Am I in Equestria?" 

"Of course," Flutter Shy said. "I will introduce you to all my friends." 

"Okay," I said. 

Flutter Shy showed me all over Ponyville. Then she took me to see the princesses. 

"Hello, Fred," said the princesses. "Welcome to Equestria." 

"You know what I am?" I said. 

"Of course," said Luna. "But you are still the first human ever. This is a record! Here, have this specially tailored human house just for you. I will move in with you and sex with you often." 

"I will also live with you and sex you often," Flutter Shy said. 

"Okay," I said. 

Then I visited Sweet Apple Acres to visit Apple Jack. 

"Howdy, pardner, it's shure nahce ta see yah ahll," said Apple Jack. "Ah'm Apple Jack." 

"Okay," I said. 

"Ah hard ponies ahre movin' in wid yah ahnd sexing yah," said Apple Jack. "Ah will ahlso move in wid yah ahnd sex yah." 

"Okay," I said. 

I proceeded like this for one hour. In that time I amassed 14 mares to sex me regularly. Then we all sexed. It was fun. 

"I am going to live here forever," I said. 

"Okay," said everypony. 

Then we went back inside and sexed again. I got 3500 mares pregnant in the next year. I also became the new king of Equestria and saved it from eighty villains.  The end.