A/N: This chapter has excessive gore in relation to a battle scene, that is all.
*Dr. who theme starts playing* The phone stable materializes down into the ground as if it were an elevator, meanwhile the two friends closed their eyes tightly and were screaming in a fashion not too dissimilar from two five year old fillies. As several seconds passed they managed to open their eyes and what they saw was a kaleidoscope of colors and sound as they passed through the time vertex.
The only phrase either of them could utter was a simple, “Whoa!”
All of a sudden the machine materialized up from the ground behind a tree as if the phone stable knew to hide somewhere inconspicuous. The two got out and observed their surroundings.
“Dude what’s that smell? It smells like rotten fish and salt water,” said Snails in disgust.
“Well, it did say we chose William McWalrus and he was the guy that united the other sea mammals to defeat the Seals, so as for the smell I think it’s low tide.”
They then heard the sound of yelling, chanting, and finally the sound of swords and shields impacting together. They proceeded hesitantly over the hill they were situated near to observe the massive battle taking place in a rather large muddy inlet. In the middle was a gigantic Walrus sporting a plaid kilt and chainmail tunic while wearing blue war paint and mane of grimy brown locks. The creature then let out a massive hearty battle cry.
“They can take our lives but they can never take, OUR FREEDOM!!!”
They both lay on the top of the hill downwind of the battle in shock as they watched this massive creature cleave a broad sword into the skull of a lightly armored seal infantry soldier. They saw the fluid motions as this Walrus juggernaut dredged warm vicious grey matter from his weapon and proceed to bash his wooden shield into the jaw of another one of his foes followed by him taking a hand axe from his waist and ramming it into the blubbery chest cavity of a wounded seal who begged for mercy that would…NOT COME as the poor creature wrenched blood from his oral cavity. The two buddies watched his scene in horror, but could look away as if some unknown force glued their eyes to the gory scene. This battle was not entirely one sided as what the seals lacked in valor, they made up for in pure numbers. McWalrus tripped getting caught in the flippers of a dying foe and fell backwards. All seemed lost as a seal heavy arms soldier trudged towards him and McWalrus without a weapon thought back to his dead family and that losing this battle ruin everything he fought to accomplish; he bit his lower lip and using a combination of the ground and his front flippers as leverage ripped out his right tusk with a massive scream and a fair amount of blood and jammed it into the exposed jugular of his charging enemy.
The battle lasted till nightfall and the victor had been named in the final few hours of dusk. A tattered and proud Walrus United flag hung in the now shallow water mixed with bodies and blood from both sided as the tide had finally come in. They two friends to say the least were shaken up by what they had witnesses, but relaxed that was until they felt spear tips poking them.
“Yea two up! Spies are to be dawn and quartered once our leader has passed judgment on yea,” snarled a very angry and armed to the teeth sea otter guard.
“But we haven’t done anything broseph,” said Snails trying to charm their way out of trouble.
“Exactly, that how spies work, they need not do anything they just need to find weaknesses in our defenses. Why am ay explaining this to the likes of yea? McWalrus will decide if you’re innocent or not.”
'Oh, great we’re doomed, that monstrous barbarian I doubt will listen to reason after all that blood rage,' Snips thought to himself.
The two were walked into camp by their spear welding chaperone. They were greeted by a mixture of sights, smells and sounds. Their eyes were drawn to a massive eight foot bond fire, but instead of logs they we’re using the corpses of their defeated foes which to say the least made the two gag in disgust. The smells of death, cooking fish and burly soldiers filled the air and sounds of males screaming from receiving medical care, laughter as the tales of the day’s battle was shared, the sound of an accordion playing to a long lost melody and the grunts of soldiers showing off their machismo comprised the music for the scene. They were brought before the hulking mono-tusked warrior king.
“My liege I have found these spies on Briar’s Hill outside the camp,” the sea otter bowed before his king.
“Cidrick I think these creatures are not spies,” McWalrus chuckled a deep laugh, which shocked the two ponies after seeing him cause so much mutilation and death this afternoon and now seeing the same being acting in such a polar opposite manner was the least to say a bit jarring.
“My Lord forgive me for saying so, but how can yea be so sure?”
“Well, commander for one these creatures are from Equestria and are ponies which given their herbivore nature are prone to pacifism. Second if they meant us harm they could’ve used magic being as they’re unicorns. Last just look at these beings they wreak of fear and their bodies look lacking in any combat experience,” McWalrus pointed at our protagonist and laughed deeply again, for once Snips and Snails were glad to be insulted for being wimps. The king then dismissed his commander and looked at the two unicorns and spoke.
“What brings thou to my lands if I may inquire?”
“Ummm…sir we are um scholars from a distant future and simply request your assistance in providing your insight about the future we have achieved,” said Snips whose mind was on the verge of catching fire due to partial B.S. overload. Meanwhile, Snails still terrified from today's events simply nodded in response.
“So, yea lads are from the future and just want aye to give me opinion on it,” said McWarus in a skeptical tone.
“Yes, King dude,” Snips said in response.
“Well, aye see nothing wrong with your quest and aye find something noble in it, so aye will go wit yea.”
“Excellent,” said the two in unison and strummed air guitar.
“Huh,” replied a very confused walrus warrior king.
“That was, err nothing it’s just a thing we do,” remarked Snails.
“This way to the time machine,” the two chimed in.
Upon arriving at the familiar clear box and explaining things to very bewildered sea mammal, decided that they could use some more history beings.
“Mr. McWalrus we need to make a few more detours to pick up more guest to observe our time,” said Snips.
“Ooh, Ooh, Snips I know who I wanna meet.”
“Who, Snails?”
“This is gonna make our friend Pinkie very happy,” said Snails as he pointed to a name in the phone book. It read Count Chocula, the great vampire chocolatier.
Next Time: The guys meet up with my favorite cereal mascot.