"-set."
"Mmm"
"Sun-"
"Go away..."
"Oh, come on Sunset. You don't mean that."
"Huh? What?" Rubbing her eyes of the drowsiness; Sunset realized that she had fallen victim to her exhaustion as she was trying to study for an upcoming exam.
She looked around for the source that roused her only to find the few other people that were in the library look her way briefly. Yawning as she stretched; her hand encountered a barrier behind her causing Sunset to turn around and find her vision blocked by a mass of pink.
"Morning Sunset! Or should I say good evening? It's pretty late and I've never really known what to say to people that take naps this late. It can't be good for you but-"
"Pinkie, please stop." Sunset held a hand on her hyperactive friend as she tried to organize her thoughts. "What's up? Do you need something?"
She got a nod in reply
"Alright, if I move my hand are you going to tell me specifically what it is and not go into another tangent?"
Another nod.
"Okay." As her hand moved away Pinkie sat down next to her with a smile.
"I was wondering if you were free this weekend. We haven't seen much of each other and considering the other girls don't exactly live nearby I wanted to spend time with you."
"That sounds like fun Pinkie, it really does." a smile tugged at the borders of her mouth as her eyes looked at her friend with exhaustion.
"But?"
"But, I can't this weekend. I've got an exam coming up and I really need to get ready for it. Not to mention I have work and I spend the nights tutoring on weekends." Sunset sighed as she gathered the books and papers on the table. "Maybe next time?" She asked before slinging her backpack on and placing a hand on Pinkie's shoulder.
"Sure, next time then. Let me know if I can do anything to help!"
"Not unless you're taking advanced courses in physics. Sorry, I'll see you later."
Pinkie smiled sadly as she watched the girl who had once been the de-facto leader in her group her friends. Her long red and gold hair pushed to one side and no longer covering the sun mark on her jacket. The glasses she wore due to eye strain from years of reading and her simple blue shirt and jeans that matched with her boots. She had witnessed her go from being cruel and manipulative to caring and thoughtful. The days before her reformation were the worst she'd ever had with no close friends to hang out with and watching them all just avoid one another regardless of attempts to patch things up.
Now, with graduation and separation those feelings had come crawling back. The only respite she had was the fact that Sunset had chosen the same school to continue her education. She still kept in contact with the other girls but it had devolved from calls every week to one or two texts from each girl except Fluttershy. She was the only other one besides herself who put in any effort.
"She's always so busy." Pinkie said laying her head down on the table. Her hair was no longer as bouncy as it used to be in the past. Whether it was of how she felt or because she had cut it rather short even she didn't know anymore. "I shouldn't be blaming her. It's a busy time in her life and at least it's better that she's here rather than back in her own world..." The thought of never seeing Sunset again brought a new fear in her heart she didn't know possible but, with the way things were these days it didn't seem so different.
The rest of the day passed with Pinkie barely catching a glimpse of Sunset as classes continued. She would see the familiar splotch of red and gold walk a corner or hear the echo of her laughter somewhere.
"At least, she's happy. That's what matters." her fist clenched as she stood by the bus stop. "Then why do I feel this way?" wiping away a stray lock of hair she boarded the bus from the back.
"Hey, Fluttershy. How was your day?"
"Oh, it was great. We got to go visit a shelter today and watch as the caretakers vaccinated the animals. It was sad to see so many of them there without a good home but at least we got to play with them during our free time."
"That sounds fantastic! I'm glad you're having fun. It wouldn't do the animals any good if you had a frown on your face."
"I know."
There was a momentary lapse in the conversation and before anything could be said to fill it they both interrupted each other.
"Pinkie-"
"Flutter-"
"Sorry, go ahead Pinkie."
"No, it's fine. What did you want to say Fluttershy?" she responded knowing if she hadn't said it then the shy girl would more than likely not bring whatever it was she wanted to talk about up.
"Pinkie. Are you okay?"
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Pinkie... You haven't been yourself these past few days. We've talked to each other practically every day and even thought I can't see you I'm sure there must be something going on."
"It's... nothing. I'm fine Fluttershy, just trying to get my head on straight for these exams I have coming up."
"Pinkie Pie... don't lie to me. I've heard your voice enough to know when something is going on. Please, tell me what's bothering you."
Fluttershy waited for her usually energetic friend to respond only to be met with silence. The minutes ticked by and nothing came out of the phone. She checked to see if the connection dropped only to see it was still connected. It wasn't until the third time she checked that she started to hear something. She raised the volume and strained her ears but she could hear the sound of someone crying.
"Pinkie! Pinkie! Pinkie, please are you there? Talk to me Pinkie."
The sound of sobbing became louder as the party girl once again took hold of the phone. "I'm sorry Fluttershy. I just... I just don't know what to do anymore."
"What do you mean Pinkie?"
"I asked Sunset if she wanted to spend time together this weekend but she said she was busy."
"I'm so-"
"When is she ever not busy?! I'm trying Fluttershy. I really am trying. I've had to see you girls go away and I left Applejack behind. I've stood by as the other girls are slowly drifting away from me and yet I've taken it all in stride. And for what?! To feel miserable?! To feel like a part of me is dying each time I only get a text from Rarity, Twilight, or Rainbow? Applejack at least gives me a call when she can!"
"Pinkie..."
"The worst part about this whole thing is that even though Sunset is so close she seems so far away now. She's always just doing something and never has time for me anymore. I understood it in the beginning but it's been a year and a half. It feels like she's avoiding me. Like she'd rather do anything else than just hang out for a couple hours a day."
"Well, you did say she had work and tutors people on the weekends. Not to mention being in advanced courses does take a lot out of a person."
"I know that! I know.. but I can't help but feel selfish. I want things to be like they used to be in high school. Why couldn't we all have stayed together? Why did everyone have to abandon me?"
Fluttershy stood by silently crying as her friend broke down on the other side of the phone. She heard her scream and try to compose herself yet it kept coming. What seemed to be years of stress and feelings built up from having her friends leave poured out. It lasted for a while and finally seemed to die down as Pinkie sniffled the last bit of her sadness.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that. I didn't think I was holding back that much."
"No, I'm glad you let it all out Pinkie. Thank you for letting me know. I'm sorry I haven't been such a good friend lately."
"No, no, no. You've been a great friend Fluttershy. You're basically the only one that talks to me on a regular basis."
"No, I've been a horrible friend. I should have realized that you were being affected by our going to college so much. I should have asked if something was wrong before it came to this. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay Fluttershy. Thanks for taking the time to listen to my problems. I feel a lot better now that I've let it all out. Though, right now I think I just want to sleep it off. Sorry to cut the call shorter than usual."
"I understand Pinkie. Take care of yourself and have a good night's sleep. I'll call again tomorrow."
"Okay, same to you Fluttershy. Thank you."
"Anytime Pinkie."
As the call ended and Fluttershy was left to wipe away her own tears she thought of everything Pinkie had said. She thought back to the day when Pinkie thought her friends didn't want her around anymore even though it was to prepare for her birthday party. What Rainbow had told her of how Pinkie had been acting when she found her was brought to the forefront. It made her realize that there were indeed signs of her depression before this and caused her to hate herself even more for missing it.
She searched her contacts and clicked on a familiar name. One that she hadn't called in a while or received any form of contact in return. As the phone continued to ring she felt something swell up in her stomach. Anger? Regret? Sadness? She couldn't tell at the time. Just as she was about to give up she heard the click of the call being answered.
"Fluttershy? Never thought I'd get a call from you today."
"Sunset, we need to talk."
"Of course but, I'm a little-"
"Sunset, we need to talk now."
A short silence hung in the air before Sunset could respond. "Sure. What's going on?"
The rest of the week was uneventful as always for Pinkie. She went through the same routine of barely talking to Sunset or seeing signs of the girl. Attending her classes and studying. Calling Fluttershy and riding the bus home alone. It was the same thing every day and yet, after the night she had unloaded on Fluttershy, she had felt a tiny weight off her shoulders.
It was as if she could finally be open about such things without feeling like a burden to the girls or those around her. Even if it was only talking about it to Fluttershy it did wonders for the feelings of loneliness. Yet, they still lingered as she thought of what her friends could be doing and whether or not they were happy.
Climbing up the steps to her apartment she took a moment to see the lights come on as night took over the sky. She missed Applejack's farm and how the sky was always so full of stars. The sky here was barely dotted with the stronger stars or the occasional plane as it flew by. It was yet something else that brought her down. Checking her phone for the time, she called Fluttershy only to get voice mail.
"That's strange. It's usually about now that she's free. Maybe she's in the shower."
She turned and opened her door only to be greeted by a mass of sound and colors when she turned the lights on.
"Surprise!!" yelled a trio of girls as they caught the apartment's owner in shock.
"Sunset? Rarity? Fluttershy? What are you girls doing here?" Pinkie's mouth hung open as the Sunset came closer.
"We're here to spend the weekend with you. Fluttershy gave us a call a few days ago and told us what was going on."
Pinkie looked back towards the girl in question and received a warm smile in response. Before she could say anything Sunset had her in a crushing hug.
"I'm sorry Pinkie Pie. I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to feel like I didn't want you around. I've just been so busy that I never took the time to consider how you felt when I said no."
Hot tears fell on her shoulders as Sunset kept the hug and the other girls joined. She hugged them back as her tears once again fell as well.
"I'm sorry for not saying anything as well. I love you girls."
"We love you too dear. Just so you know, Rainbow and Twilight are on their way here but Applejack said she couldn't make it." Rarity said as the hug came to an end.
"Yes, but she did say that she'll call more often from now on and try to visit as well."
"Thank you girls. Really, thank you so much."
The night went by with ease as Twilight and Rainbow soon joined the festivities. Sunset look a moment to step outside and Pinkie soon joined her.
"Thank you for coming Sunset."
"No, you should be thanking Fluttershy for all of this. She's the one that set it all up after you called her. I've never heard her so mad before."
They stood at the balcony watching the lights of the city flicker and enjoyed the breeze silently.
"I'm sorry about everything until now Pinkie. I should have made more time for you."
"Don't Sunset. I'm to blame as well. I've been holding these kinds of things in for so long that at some point it became some form of pride to never mention it. To just force myself through such things alone. I can't do that anymore not when I have you girls to actually talk about these kinds of things."
"I'll be here for you always Pinkie. I'll make more time for us and we can talk about these kinds of things if you want. Just know that I'll never not want you around. Okay?" She spread her arms and Pinkie came into the hug.
"Okay." The feeling of having someone to talk to about such things. The feeling of her friends still wanting her around and not being so distant as to ignore such things. The feeling of no being alone. It was all too much and yet just enough as she cried in Sunset's arms.
The future was still uncertain and whether she could bring up such a conversation she didn't even know. But, there was one thing that she knew was certain. She wasn't alone anymore and she hadn't been for a long time. It only took a moment of weakness to show her how much she was loved.