Lazy Company File - #021
Moving day was the beginning of the company's biggest changes. The normal quarters were to be remodeled, an enormous and expensive undertaking, as far as I am able to discern. Fortunately, the soldiers traveled light, having little personal gear to deal with. This made both packing and storing the company's gear easy, though in comparison, the kitchen proved to be quite an undertaking in and of itself. Though everyone pitched in (as we had non-pony members assisting, I feel the use of everyone to be polite here), we did not begin our actual trek until early afternoon.
To say the troops were herded onto trucks* like cattle would be quite insulting to most bovine, it was nonetheless, a rather apt description of such exercise (and with having observed the way the company conducts themselves in the mess-hall, I fear it is a rather accurate description). I would note that the trucks were of a higher quality than usual, an example of my CO's want of making a good first impression as compared to having a tight-fisted nature.
The trip was rather short, and the soldiers uncommonly high in spirits, skylarking like children on a field trip, playing with their new communicators. Of course the troops I shared a ride with, however, took this as a chance opportunity to speak with me, in a confidential basis, one I am generally all too happy to allow, in order to ease any tension or stress among the unit.
---
"Scuse me, First Lieutenant Iron Lotus, ma'am."
Lotus looked up from her tablet to regard the soldier who had addressed her, showing a look that was neither hostile nor warm. "Lieutenant Lotus will suffice, soldier. No need to over extend your greetings."
"Sure, whatever. Say, I was just wondering... what can ya tell us bout the Cap?" Sounds like you've both had a little history."
"Certainly, we met in Celtic Square Academy, and I have been a second to him ever since, both respectfully and begrudgingly at times." She regarded the others in the truck who were now listening with curiosity. "You are probably wondering if Captain Down Range is a trust worthy stallion. To the best of my knowledge, he is a rather scrupulously-excuse me, painfully-fair handler in all his dealings, both business and personal. He has my respect because of this and due to his reliability...thus to easily say it, he is quite unbalanced."
"What, you’re saying the kelp is a loon?"
"No I do not mean to say that he is dangerously insane or anything," she amended hastily. "Rather, hmm, I perhaps have chosen the wrong words to keep things simple." She tapped her brow in thought for a moment. "Down Range is unbalanced only in ways that many successful stallions and mares are, that he has a tendency toward the obsessive. It is not a matter of judging how his work fits into his life. Work is life, to him, and he views everything else in the universe in relation to that. Once he has a pet project in mind, he forces all his energies and resources upon it. Frankly, tis my belief that you soldiers are quite fortunate to be in the right place at the right time. So far, even as disastrous as some actions might seem, he never fails once he sets his mind on something."
"Excuse me, Lieutenant Lotus," Ace drawled, "but, I can't help notice you specifically said current pet project. So, what? He gets a new shiny toy and we get the boot?"
"Oh, I am very doubtful of that ever happening. He's rather tenacious once he undertakes an endeavor. As he told you, to give up or take the easy way out, is quitting, and he does not like quitting, unless..."
Lotus allowed the sentence to hang in the air.
"Unless what?"
"Well...your commander is supplied by a near limitless drive, energy that will sweep you along in its wake, even if you choose to only be passive. It would take a rather massive effort on your part to discourage him, in fact, if the company itself chose too, they could essentially stop him in his tracks here and now as a collective in disagreement to his actions."
"...What?"
"He means, we'd have to work the grease to get the CO in trouble enough to call it quits, and honestly, as I see it, sure were a bunch a bums and louts, but he's trying, only fair we try too, never new a kelpie, impressions are pretty good though." said Ace. "But now, taking a little piece of the vine, ain't he the kelpie that blasted the princesses?"
"Certainly." Lotus huffed. "Though the circumstances were set in such a way, that the action taken, proactive as it was, led to a near disaster. Of course it had the benefit of putting a chill in the gryphon's attitudes."
"You're saying he got lucky?"
"Certainly, fortune, good or bad, seems to favor him in awkward moments." Lotus chuckled. "Who would mess with an army that would willingly bombard their own princesses just to attack the enemy?"
"And you say, we're his next obsession?"
The nocturne merely graced them with a smile, the feeling of ice upon every soldiers back following it.
---
Ponyville is known for being a rather small, and quaint town...it was, until a the bearers of the elements of harmony were discovered, then a god of chaos decided to make it home, followed by a castle sprouting from it not to long afterwards...
Let's amend that last statement.
Ponyville is known for being extremely random and chaotic, without even the need of the god of chaos himself, to which he comments (whines) on a regular bases "I could do it better." The town does rather well with inciting its own brand of insanity without needing his help.
It is perhaps the reason why a military presence was finally established not too far from the town, for all the good it did in raising the citizens’ morale. Rather it was more of a respectful acknowledgement that the town needed a form of security for its citizens. Unfortunately, against the wishes of the princesses, bureaucracy saw fit to place the lowest tier of their budget towards the reinforcing of said locale.
The Ponyville Plaza (such an original name) arrived only a few months after the rise of Princess Twilight's Castle. It certainly upstaged the rather quaint homes that surrounded it. Glossy paint adorned the Plaza walls, allowing it to shimmer in the sunlight, only being slightly outdone by the naturally blinding crystal architecture of the princesses own castle. Though not for lack of trying, the hotel certainly indulged in the rich upper-class who felt the unnecessary need to grace the lowly town with their grand presence in order to have an audience with Princess Twilight Sparkle, much to her chagrin.
The Plaza stood stoically, ignoring all the issues around it, like a mother of a dozen foals during summer break. Such calm was shattered, however, by the arrival of the first truck from the convoy of troops, which eased into the loading zone in front of the Plaza and disgorged its cargo of soldiers and duffel bags. Downy was, of course, in the lead vehicle, and left his charges to struggle with their personal gear as he greeted the front desk.
"May I help you, sir?" the desk clerk asked, nervously eyeing the gathering mob visible through the front door.
"Yes, I'm Down Range. I believe I've a reservation, hundred rooms plus penthouse?"
The clerk hesitated a moment before flipping through a set of logs...coincidentally placing herself farther away from Downy's reach.
"Sir, I have it here. Down Range...the penthouse."
"And a hundred rooms."
"I'm...I'm sorry, it doesn't show anything more than the penthouse."
Was it her, or did Down Range's smile seem too tightened, almost showing the kelpish fangs of his canines.
"Could you check again...please? I am sure I made the reservation a week ago."
"Yes sir, it uh...it seems to have been canceled."
"By...Whom..."
The mare shrank further away from him as she squeaked. "I'll...the manager, I'll have you speak with him sir. Please just wait a moment."
Without warning, the clerk bolted from her desk, galloping for a set of doors behind her desk, leaving Downy to fidget impatiently as the lobby behind him began to fill with more and more soldiers.
Bonjour, a younger mare than most to wield such title and power as that of a hotel manager, made her way out the door, clerk in tow behind her. She ruled the Plaza with an iron hoof, and though the employees chafed under her tyranny, they were nonetheless grateful for her unshakable certainty when crisis struck, as so often does within the hotel business of the elite world. Many a wave of tired, angry travelers had broken against this rock of a mare without moving or altering it in the slightest, though she had never met the white water rapids that is the kelpie known as Down Range.
"Pardon monsieur, I am to reason, that there is trouble between the hotel and yourself?" she asked politely, her voice like wind chimes in a calm breeze, phrench very strong in her accent. "I am Bonjour, and hope I can be of service to you."
"Yes, Mrs. Bonji. I am Captain Down Range, and I would like to know the reason as to why my reservation of a hundred rooms was canceled." replied Down, he gave the mare a quick look over, her earth pony build was light, yet sharp like an arrow, obviously a fencer with speech. Her mark, a small fan, adorned her rose colored flanks.
Safely hidden behind the line of fire, the desk clerk struggled not to snicker too loudly. Downy had inadvertently hit upon the staff's nickname for Bonjour...Bonji...though, until now, none dared utter it to her face.
"That is...Bonjour, sir...and I had to cancel the reservations myself."
"Oh, and why is that Bonji?"
The mare gritted her teeth ever so slightly as she answered. "Certainly, I assumed it to be not only a typographical error on the part of whoever placed the reservation, but also as ordered by the owner of this establishment, Jet Set." The manager gave a smug smile, which was not returned. "Realizing the cost of a hundred of our rooms for a period of several weeks would be...prohibitive, and not being sure if such request was for ten rooms, I proceeded with the cancelation as advised. Though I did choose to accommodate you on site according to your actual needs."
"I assume you ran a check on the credit account that accompanied the reservation?"
"Indeed monsieur, it would be irresponsible not too, as I said, the cost was seen as being prohibitive."
With a slight of hoof, the kelpie made a pass, dropping his credit account card upon the desk for the manager to observe. "I think this should settle the question."
To Bonjour's credit, she neither gaped, nor cringed at the sight of the card, examining it carefully in her hooves, noting the texture and weight which signified the card to be a mythrilium express card. With calm movements, she examined the signature on the back, weighing her options. Despite her outer calm, a war waged within her, one of profit, and fear that she had bitten a little more than she could chew.
"I...see, sir." she said slowly.
"Now that I'm here, on site, as you put it, shall we proceed with accommodating my needs then? What I need, is the hundred rooms I reserved."
Bonjour was quite aware of the crowd now. Since seeing the mythrilium express card, she began to weigh the potential windfall of business against the horror of admitting a full company of soldiers into such an esteemed establishment. More so, she wondered how well Mr. Jet Set would take to knowing that, such unscrupulous types were now making home within his hotel. The realization of such notion meant that she had to unfortunately weather the coming storm.
"I'm sorry, I cannot accept this at this time, as we do not have enough room available to grant your request, and due to the decorum established by sir Jet Set, I would be placed in a difficult position to allow...the military to hold space here."
The manager was well and ready for any burst of anger at that announcement, though the last thing she expected was to see Downy smiling, putting a fumble within her game.
"I wish not to argue Bonji..."
"Bonjour!"
"...since, you see, the tablet I used to place my order told me that, of your hundred and seventy five rooms, barely a dozen are currently in use. Instead, I shall point out three possible solutions to our little impasse. First, I could bring a complaint against Jet Set and the hotel under the law which states that you can't refuse lodging to anyone on basis of race, religion, sex, species, or occupation...course that would be annoying as all Tartarus, and leaves me unsatisfied in my mind. Second, you can run my account, and begin passing out keys, but of course if Jet Set continues to be an issue. Third then..."
Here Downy smiled deviously.
"...I can buy this hotel out from under Jet Set, and hope that you will proceed with better judgment when it comes to the law, over a bigoted owner’s interest...or else I'll personally begin looking for a new manager."
It was so casual, so easy, and so smooth, that it left Bonjour sweating in place...slightly, but she was also aware of the obvious lack of knowledge behind the third solution Down had voiced, and rallied gamely behind that.
"...What I mean to say, sir, was that, due to the low occupancy, which you were kind enough to reference before, we are currently understaffed to accommodate such a large party in the manner the Plaza is generally famous for, and, rather than tarnish its reputation, I would be happy to suggest to you alternatives. As to the prospect of purchasing the Plaza"-the manager allowed herself a minor smile-"I'm afraid that comes off as a rather hollow threat. You don't seem to be aware that we are not singly owned per say, but are part of a chain of hotels, which is, in turn, owned by a rather large conglomerate. I doubt you could interest them into negotiations over a single unit."
Down shook his head in dismay. "To be fair Bonji..."
"Bonjour!"
"...I'm afraid it is yourself that is unaware of the situation. Your chain is held by Upper Set, and of course Jet Set and Upper Crust, being head of the offices of *ahem* Up-Set, are due for a meeting with their board, which is happening in a few weeks. Now, they are in quite a spot, due to stretched bits, having recently created a new resort in Marexico, and the contractors have gone on strike. Not exactly promising, and if they don't come up with some ready cash to buy them off fast, the whole project will go up in flames. I think he'll be more than happy to accept any offer I give him. Or be appreciative of a surprise influx of monetary funding, drawn from my accounts, to fulfill the simple task of housing my troops here for a temporary amount of time."
Bonjour suddenly felt very light headed, but Down was far from finished.
"I should also point out, that my mentioning this option, that isn't a threat. Now, sure I could buy this place, but the paperwork involved is a pain, a waste of my time, which means my troops time are then being wasted, and waiting around for a bunk. This means to them, I went back on my word, and it further embarrasses me in front of my new command because of your silly-ass games. Now hear this, once your fired, I'll ensure your inability to work anywhere outside of Ponyville, at least till you gain a little humility. I'll do that by purchasing any company you apply at, I'll block your ability of even leaving this place by purchasing every train ticket, airship, and coach for the next year. That my dear lass, is a threat. Note the difference?"
"I...I do, monsieur."
"Great!" Downy offered her a friendly smile. "So then, I'm sure after this little chat, you'll agree that it is wisest to release those rooms to us, bring the staff up to proper levels, and merely move things along. I'll be more than happy to settle the balance for said staff, as I do like to think that I am a generous pony."
Bonjour maybe pompous, but she is not stupid. Even a rock had to survive, and ocean waves new when to retreat from the shore. Clearly it was in her best interest, for her own survival, to not enter into a personal feud with a mega millionaire. A quick discussion with her mental board of directors quickly led to a final conclusion.
"Clerk, pull the other staff to position! A hundred registration cards are needed as well as two keys per room...file the guests from top floor down and bypassing the poolside units. Issue the keys ONLY after each card is filled out so that everything is documented." She quickly turned, leveling a polite smile to Down. "Will there be anything else, sir?"
"Certainly, second lieutenants, front and center!" snapped Down. "I want you paired off, and I want you both to oversee the room assignments. As well, you both shall be in the room nearest the penthouse, I myself will utilize my room as a headquarters, and Lieutenant Iron Lotus shall also accompany me. Do not have the troops unpack, as well be changing room assignments as partners are formally made. Mrs. Bonjour."
Down turned his attention to the hotel manager. "If Jet Set makes any complaint, you alert me, and I will see to it that this hotel is no longer a problem for him, I'm rather sure he will indulge in gouging me of my bits, but I want things to move smoothly."
"Yes monsieur!"
"Troops!” he shouted loudly, earning the attention of every soldier within the lobby. "Assist the valet before he faints. He shall show you all to your rooms, but he is not-I repeat, not-to help them with their gear other than to make any baggage carts available for use. As well, Mrs. Bonjour, I will be sure that all staff is tipped adequately."
"Now, Mrs. Bonjour, I understand the purpose of this hotel, but its attitude has not brought it any friends from the town, nor does it seem its...occupants want to share in any of that joy. I would suggest, even if you must hide it from Jet, that this hotel be a little more open and friendly towards all guests, or else it will certainly sink below the black line and drown in the red, it is merely my advice, as the Princess herself has been rather perturbed as of late by the guests you generally house here."
"Er...wi monsieur, I will certainly endeavor to- What is it Cream?" Bonjour huffed at a stallion prodding her side.
"There is a...zebra poking about my kitchen! Dressed like one of these!" The chef shook an accusing hoof at the uniformed troops tromping about the lobby. "I demand he be removed at once! I cannot work with such strangers getting in my way!"
Bonjour cried internally at the unfairness of the world. The last thing she now wanted, was another duel with Down Range, so soon after their last clash, but she certainly couldn't offend their top tier chef, either.
"Er...monsieur, if you could please?"
"No trouble, and begging your pardon...er Cream?"
"Cream Puff, chef of this establishment." he's words were sickeningly sweet with the taste of a fake Marisian accent.
Downy tried not to snurk to loudly. "Ahh, that might be our chef Tandoori, from what I've learned, he is a stickler for cooking good food, rather...serious about his cooking that one, and I did send a requisition that he improve the units food, though he may have taken it a little too far. If you'd let me explain..."
"Pardon my interruption." said a wiry built zebra, his short cut Mohawk whipping back and forth as he looked to each other pony. His stripes showed his zebra nature, but his wings showed Pegasus in his blood, a series of spices adorned his flank. "It was not my intention, to cause such disruption. My apologies if you'd please, accept it, and be at peace."
"My, so polite!" Bonjour beamed, happily clapping her chef on the shoulder. "No harm has been done, none at all. He has apologized!"
"As he should," Cream snorted haughtily. "Imagine...a no-talent Army Mixmaster...in my kitchen."
Tandoori's eyes sparkled for a mere moment, but he held a grand smile. "Please. Accept my..."
"Now just a moment." Down turned to face Cream Puff, his expression sharp. "Yes, our Mess Sergeant was out of line, and he apologized for it. I will not, however, accept any insult to my fellows, not from anyone. You have not sampled his fixings, and so I would expect you to offer more respect as one chef to another. He may not be as skilled, but he is certainly no mug washer. I want an apology!"
Again Bonjour felt that feeling of hopelessness begin to rise as the two ponies eyes met.
"Hah! Before an apology could be given, he would have to show me that I am wrong...that he can tell a mixing bowl from a porcelain throne!"
"Ahh, I see," Down replied. "Mrs. Bonjour, I'd like to rent your restaurant and kitchen for a full day...say, day after tomorrow? Tandoori will require it to prepare the food for our company."
"My kitchen?" the hotel chef shrieked. "You cannot-"
"I'm afraid the cost would be-" Bonjour was cut off.
"Five thousand bits should cover it," the commander finished. "Course, we'll provide our own supplies. The current kitchen help can have the day off, with pay, except..."
He turned to address the chef directly. "You! You're gonna personally sit and watch at double your day's wage, but only if you're present at the kitchen to sit and observe our Mess Sergeant Tandoori. You are invited to join us for dinner, at which time you will be given ample opportunity to tender your apology to Mess Sergeant Tandoori, do you accept?"
The chef gaped, merely nodding in consent.
"Right! Tandoori, make a list of what troops you want to assist you, then give it to Ace, or C.G.!"
"Aye, boss? You need sumthin?" the supply sergeant boomed, having been loitering nearby throughout the entire exchange.
"You're excused from normal duty tomorrow. Get a list from our cook as to what he needs in the way of supplies, and get him whatever he asks for....top of the line. Clear?"
"As crystal Cap!" C.G. lowered his voice. "You sure bout this boss? Tandoori’s good, but uh...you haven't seen him when folks criticize his food."
"I trust Tandoori, so have a little faith!" he patted C.G. on the shoulder. "Positive waves, it does everyone good. Sides I won't let some outside mouth off at one of our own without doing my best to see he gets his own licks in return!"
"Sure thing boss, us against them, eh? I'll see what I can do, Ponyville market always has a nice supply, maybe even hit the sweets shop, and the nice mare there is always greeting us along with her doll!"
"Cool, I'll get that hog rolling soon as I can, sir!"
"Good, see that you do." Down turned his attention to the Plaza's maître d'. "Now, I'm sorry about that Mrs. Bonjour. I hate to have to make more trouble than its worth for you."
"No, no, the solution, though exotic, is more than generous under the circumstances. Would you like the keys to the penthouse now? The quiet may do you wonders."
"Sadly you're right, but it's a luxury I can't enjoy. My 1st Lieutenant, Iron Lotus, will collect the keys and see to getting my gear settle. Till then, she will be in command while I pay my respects to a few key folks here in this town."
"The mayor?"
"One of them," he managed a weak smile. "The police...more importantly."
"We have a police?"
Downy sighed. "Yes, unbeknownst to everyone here in the town it seems."