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// Hurried Plans and In-Jokes! The Team is Rapidly Assembled. 
// Story: Crossworlds Guardian, Sailor Orbital! 
// by Masterweaver 
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	"WHOA!" Raspberry shot to her feet and slammed her hands on the table. "Did I hear that right? There's going to be an invasion of energy draining alien monsters?!"

"Apparently--wait!" Ditzy pointed to the golden girl talking with her friends across the park. "Sunset could just teleport us to the moon! Problem solved!"

"No, she can't."

Raspberry frowned. "Blue, just because you're an athiest--"

"No, I mean NEISA was experimenting with Earth-to-Moon teleports, and while it is theoretically possible, factoring in orbital mechanics and energy maintenance is a demanding process even for the most high-speed computers they have. The best options are either using a dual anchor system of harmonically aligned endpoints, which I suspect the Gates are, or building a massive power ziggurat and pointing it." Blue Oyster had pulled out her smart phone and started scrolling through a few pages. "Technically, Sunset could do it, but she intervened explicitly to state that the concentration required would distract her from more important things, like keeping the Oort cloud from dissolving."

"...oh." Raspberry sat down. "Well. That sucks."

"Wait, hold on." Ditzy rapped her fingers against the table. "If the gates are dual anchor systems, there might be one near the moon computer, right? And I know they can be reoriented--"

"The Gates were programmed not to be connected to the moon Gate until a descendant of the Princess of the Moon Kingdom could be found and brought to one. Furthermore, it is difficult but not impossible to find the code referencing which particular strands of DNA this theoretical descendant might have, and in order to gather enough of the data to be useful you would have to search through multiple Gate computing systems due to the surge caused by the Saturation."

Dinky glanced up from her granola bars at the baffled stares and sighed. "Like I said, the psycholock only prevents me from telling you anything you couldn't find out in three hours. I mean, you could spend the time interrogating auntie Kikai, but I'd really rather speed things along."

The feline shook her head, clearing her throat. "Well... she is correct. In theory, if we found enough Gates, we could decode the particular genetic sequence that unlocks the lunar orientation programming. From there, it would be easy to get to the Moon computer and identify all the Gates." She tilted her head. "In fact, it might be far easier than waiting on a rocket-based space mission to go searching across fourteen and a half million square miles for the underground bunker it is in."

"But the only way to find Gates without the use of the computer is to backtrack from potential Vaucoi attacks," Ditzy pointed out. "So we'd need to wait for them to start draining people, fight them back, and capture... the... Razz, why are you grinning like that?"

The pink teenager stood, reaching dramatically for the sky with one hand. "Energy draining monsters from another world are invading," she announced grandiosely. "One cat seeks out a heroic team to fight them back," she added. "A heroic team of teenage girls, searching for the moon princess!"

"Oh no." Blue shook her head. "No no no no. We are not--!"

"Led by the one, the only, Saaaaaaaaaaaaailor Luuuuuuuuuuna!" Razz paused. "No, wait, that's copyright infringement. Sailor Orbital? We'll figure it out later."

"Really." Sweetie Drops crossed her arms. "You're really going to try this."

"I have to admit, the Crossworlds Guardian Emergency Worker Uniform does look a lot like a Sailor Luna outfit." Ditzy shrugged. "Just, you know, with a track suit underneath and a helmet... and armor in place of miniskirts and collars. Actually, if we put collars and skirts over the armor--"

"Sweet science," Blue Oyster groaned. "You're just as crazy as the Power Patriot kids."

Lyra tilted her head. "I kind of like them."

"They're kids, fighting crime! Adults at least I can get, but--"

"It's against regulation for anyone without a driver's licence to go on patrol without supervision," Dinky pointed out. "So it's sort of like an apprenticeship, really. They get to watch and take notes, help out against the people without guns, and--"

"Look, I get that you come from the future where this is apparently normal, but a year ago the biggest thing I had to worry about were my grades and keeping these two from getting into trouble."

"Hey!" Raspberry Fluff protested. "Ditzy was perfectly well behaved!"

"Yeah, but her lack of coordination..." Blue shook her head. "I think we're getting off track here. The point is, this is crazy and dangerous and we really, really should leave it to... somebody with training!"

"Blue," Ditzy said calmly. "Who would believe us?"

"Uh, practically anybody who wasn't living under a rock?! Weird shit is happening every day, Ditzy! It's like fate's being run by somebody who wants to pack reality full of things that are astounding, dramatic, or just plain weird!"

None of them noticed the three little girls across the park sneeze, one by one.

"Okay, rephrase. Who would listen to us who isn't already tied up with the weird shit that's happening and would be willing to handle the situation?"

Blue held up a finger, paused, and groaned. "Stop it. Stop being so logical. That's my schtick."

"Yeah..." Sweetie Drops rubbed her arm. "Me and Lyra are swamped with PAULDRONS paperwork, and... yeah."

"Don't worry, Blue. I'm not saying Ditzy has to go it alone." Raspberry grinned. "Heck, we could form the inner senshi ourselves!"

"What?"

"Yeah! You've got brains enough to keep people on track and analyze everything, give you some magic bubbles and you'd make a perfect Sailor Hermes! Heck, you've even got the hair!"

Blue Oyster frowned. "Just the bubbles? I'd need the freeze spray before I even considered this."

"I'm sure there's some gadget on the market for that, we'll look through the Aztlan shopping catalog later. And since I know Galician, I can be Sailor Ares."

Ditzy rolled her eyes. "Razz, I keep telling you Shadowjack is fanfiction."

"Blasphemy! Shadowjack is the one true canon!" Raspberry grinned. "Also I can do this." Her forehead gem began to glow, and a small red flame hovered in her hand.

"What--? How did you learn to do that?!"

"Well, I was at cousin Puff's--"

"NOPE! That's all I need to know." Blue held up her hands. "Down that road lies madness."

Raspberry pouted, snuffing the flame out. "You're no fun."

"If you're going to be Ares, you're going to need prayer strips," Ditzy pointed out.

"Already got 'em." The pink girl pulled a few long strips of paper from her pockets. "Granted, usually I use them to tie up all the daisy or other flower sandwiches I make for our divine equine--"

"Wait a minute, you're a Shimmerist?"

Raspberry brought her fists together before her chest. "A proud member of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse." She punctuated her statement with what was probably supposed to be a whinny.

Lyra shot a hoof in the air. "Preach it, sister. Although, you should probably go from the diaphragm for the Glorious Proclamation."

"'Let's try to avoid a lawsuit...' 'Don't cast unknown spells on your friends...'" Blue Oyster lowered the strips she was holding. "These are all quotes from her EweTube channel, aren't they?"

"Well yeah. I mean, I could write things she said in her normal life, but I'm no Vehemest. It wouldn't be fair to those who were not blessed by the presence of her mortal frame."

Sweetie Drops rolled her eyes. "You sure she'll be okay with you using her words as a casting medium?"

"Huh, good point. I should ask her." Raspberry got off the bench, knelt on the ground, and raised her fists to the sky. "Oh Divine Bacon Horse--"

"I'm right over here!" Sunset shouted, waving. "Only fifteen feet away!"

"No, I have to do this properly!"

"But--"

"It's the only way to be fair to your other worshipers!"

Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay, fine. Proceed."

Raspberry cleared her throat, raising her fists again. "Oh Divine Bacon Horse, Traveler Of Realms, Glorious Proclaimer, Shelled Mystic, She Of The Wonderous Mane, Wellspring Of Magic And Sanity! I, a humble ape blessed with your equine essence, do beseech and implore ye, that you may answer of me a question which burns to my core! I ask whe'er tis allowed to channel your mystic presence through your words, words we take to bind our gifts to thee, and whe'er should we use these words in combat and protection against the vampiric forces that shall come from beyond the stars! I beg of you, Divine Bacon Horse, hear my plea, and mote your answer at your leisure!" She capped her speech with a half-way decent impression of a horse neighing, before prostrating herself westward.

Even from a distance, Sunset's eye roll was entirely visible. Nevertheless, she shut her eyes. In a moment, the shimmering image of an adorably proportioned golden unicorn appeared, red and yellow mane swishing in an unseen breeze as it solemnly approached Raspberry. "...You know what?" came a voice that even the greatest of singers would weep tears of blood to obtain. "I'm cool with it. So long as you don't use this power for evil, you can take the strips and make them protective enchantments or purification devices."

The unicorn half turned, before noticing that Sweetie Drops and Lyra had mirrored Raspberry's pose. She rose an eyebrow at Ditzy, who shrugged helplessly. Dinky closed her fists and pawed at the air with a pointed look; Sunset's amazing pony form gave her a flat stare, before taking on a resigned expression. Rearing up, she released a whinny that rattled the trees, echoing impossibly even as the image of the unicorn faded.

Raspberry Fluff stood, dusting herself off. "Okay, there's that question answered."

"You know, I was informed of the many changes that occurred whilst I was confined in artificial slumber," Kikai mused. "Yet I still find myself stunned by the level of insanity that has become the norm in modern human society."

Blue Oyster snorted. "You're completely ridiculous, you know that?"

"Not as ridiculous as you! We just had a divine visitation, and you're still clinging to your atheism!"

"I acknowledge that Sunset Shimmer is an extra-universal entity with significant control over our cosmological existence." Blue scrolled through her iPhone. "I simply don't believe that makes her a god or otherwise holy being."

Ditzy frowned. "Wouldn't that make you agnostic, not atheist?"

"No. If I were agnostic, I'd be throwing rocks at Sunset. Metaphorically. And literally."

"The specifics of Blue's self-delusions aside, we're getting off topic here." Raspberry tapped the table. "We still need a Sailor Zeus and Aphrodite. Also, maybe alternate names for sailor selves so we don't get sued."

"Well, Golden Harvest is a lot like Wooden Sincerity," Lyra mused. "Good cook, lives alone, super strong even before the Saturation... If it weren't for the whole 'he looks just like my old boyfriend' thing, she'd be a perfect fit."

Sweetie Drops frowned at her. "Are you actually encouraging this?"

"Can you actually think of a way to stop them?"

"....no." She sighed. "Well, at least with ol' Carrot Top on the team, Blue won't be the only voice of reason."

Blue Oyster nodded. "That would be a plus. So I suppose that just leaves--"

"Summer Raindrops!" Ditzy cried. "She's an old friend. People always said aside from our colors we were identical. I mean, we've drifted apart a bit, but I still have her number, and I'm pretty sure she'd love to join in."

"Does she have the requisite zanyness to be Sailor Aphrodite?" Raspberry demanded.

Ditzy nodded. "Oh believe me. If it weren't for Rainy, I would have freaked the fu--the fudge out when I got thrown out of the universe." She spared a glance at Dinky, who pretended to be fascinated with her jewelry.

"Well. I guess that only leaves the outers." Raspberry tapped her chin. "I'm half-thinking Octavia and Vinyl--"

"No no no, they have to come from a different school," Blue pointed out. "Like Crystal Prep. Maybe... oh I don't know, Sugarcoat and Moondancer?"

"Yeah, I could see that. Of course, we'd need an adult for Sailor Hades."

"Well, the only time-related adult woman I can think of is..." Ditzy glanced at the green unicorn awkwardly. "Um, the ETSAB Heartstrings."

Sweetie drops frowned. "Oh."

Lyra snorted. "Her."

"...you know what?" Ditzy held up her hands. "We don't need to assemble an Outer squad just yet. I'm good starting with the inners."

"Yeah, you're right." Raspberry pounded a fist into her palm. "So! Kikai, why don't you and Ditzy gather up stuff for five people. I'll handle the invitations, and we'll all meet up at my place this saturday. Sound good?"

The feline nodded. "I... suppose that assembling a task force is an important enough prospect to require some planning."

Blue Oyster shrugged. "Well, might as well, just to keep you idiots from attacking circuses."

Ditzy frowned. "Actually... yeah, that could be a problem. Don't worry, I know how to solve it. HEY SUNSET!"

"Yeah?"

"If you start dating my daughter, I will punch you! Just so you know!"

Sunset Shimmer held her palms up, an utterly nonplussed expression on her face as she shook her head.

Raspberry rubbed her chin. "You know, I should chide you for threatening our divine equine, but I totally get why you did."