//------------------------------// // Laughter: DND Special // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// Deadpool, Thorax, and Gabby all sat down at the table with Big Mac, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Discord. Thorax looked confused about the whole game, unsure what they're supposed to do. “Welcome to another game of Ogres and Obulets.” Spike introduced them. “It seems that today, we have three new party members. Please, introduce us who you are and what class you'll be.” “I am Randicus!” Deadpool introduced himself. “The assassin who seeks gold and a worthy challenge.” “Ooh! I'm Angela… the healer.” Gabby introduced her character. “I make sure there's good in the world!” “... Uh… how do you do this?” Thorax asked. Everyone but Spike groaned. “You make your own character and choose the main class you'll be. You'll get the hang of it soon enough.” “Uhh… I'm guessing… it's… Disguisey… and…. I'm a… Shape Shifter?” “There’s no shape shifter class in ogres and oubliettes!” Discord snapped. “... Then a mage?” “Perfect!” Spike exclaimed. “And now, we shall begin the game. The Scenario: We’re all near the Squizard’s castle, ready to take down our foe… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The group of warriors stood over a mountain side, seeing the castle of the Squizard that took over their home land. There was Garbuncle, a small dragon that wore a green cloak & hat and was a powerful wizard himself; Sir McBiggen, the unicorn stallion that was the most honorable warrior and fine blacksmith; Captain Wuzz, the archer from a land far off with his host of strange, mixed match creatures; Sing-A-Long, the bard that joined them to be a great distraction to enemies and to sing songs for everyone about heroes; and finally, Rogue Spectre, a thief that joined them for not honor or to save the world, but for the gold that laid inside the Squizard’s throne. Appearing next to them was the assassin, Randicus, noticeable by the dark red robes he wore, and the eerie mask he wore to protect his identity. “What is the news, Randicus?” Garbuncle asked. “The Squizard is well protected, almighty Garbuncle.” Randicus answered “It will be near impossible for us to enter heads on.” “But what about sneaking around?” Rogue Spectre asked “Surely, there’s a way around.” “Aye. Angela and Disguisey are there, waiting for us as we speak. They’re hiding, though Disguisey is… well… disguised as them.” He took out a knife. “Shall we take them out quietly?” “But of course. Though, I think we should make it easier.” Garbuncle suggested. “Ooh! I think I know just the thing!” Sing-A-Long bounced. “And I shall assist her.” Randicus added “But Randicus-.” Sir Mc Biggen spoke. “The wizard needs more protection than us. Besides, you’d make a terrible singer.” He grabbed onto Sing-A-Long and, tapping into his dark magic, teleported the two to the near gates. The rest of the group followed Garbuncle, shrouding them in a spell of invisibility. The outside gates was surrounded by a majority of the Squizard’s undead army. Many of them were skeletons, but a couple were still rotting corpses. Both Randicus and Sing-A-Long entered near the front gates. “Oi! Squizard!” Randicus yelled. Out of the window, the Squizard, a squid with a cap, pointy hat, and wielded two wands, looked out of from his window. “RANDICUS!?!?!?” He yelled in pure anger. “MEN!!! DESTROY THEM!!!” The undead army lurched their way to them. “Wait!” Sing-A-Long yelled “We wanted to give you a song!” The army stopped. “...A song?” “Yep! A song made, specially for you!” “Hm… I haven’t heard of one in a while. What’s it about?” “How you’re a big fat b***h!” Randicus yelled as Sing-A-Long strummed her sitar. “♫WEEEEELLLLL-♫” “Don’t say it!” “♫...WEEEEELLLLL-♫” “Don’t do it, Randicus!” “♫...WEEEEELLLLL-♫” “I’m warning you!” “Ok, ok.” He turned and left. “Sheesh, glad I didn’t get annoyed by-” “♫WEEELL The squizard’s s a b***h, he's a big fat b***h, he's the biggest b***h in the whole wide world, he's a stupid b***h if there ever was a b***h, she's a b***h to all the boys and girls!♫” “SHUT YOUR F*****G MOUTH, RANDICUS!!!” “♫On Monday he's a b***h, on Tuesday he's a B***h, on Wensday though Saturday he's a b***h, then on Sunday just to be different she's a super King Kamehameha b****otch!♫ Come on, you know all the words!” The undead army joined “♫Have you ever met the Squid Wizard? He's the biggest b***h in the whole wide world he's a mean old b***h and she has stupid hair she's a b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h he's a stupid b***h! The Squizard’s a b***hand he's just a dirty b***h!♫ Talk to kids around the world and it might go a little bit somethin' like this!” Some Qilin joined in, followed by some ponies from France, Zwart Piet’s, and ended with some Zebras. “♫Have you ever met the Squid Wizard he's the biggest b***h in the whole wide world he's a mean old b***h and he has stupid hair, he's a b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h.” The crowd gasped as the Squizard was behind him. “b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h b***h, he's a stupid b***h♫” “Uhh, Randy?” Sing-A-Long spoke “♫The Squizard’s a b***h and he's just a dirty b***h! I really mean it, the Squizard… he's a big fat f***ing b***h! A big ol' fat f***in' b***h, right now . . . . cheaa!♫” He paused as everyone stared. “What?” He turned around to be face to face with the Squizard. “...Aw f**k.” The group made it to their two other allies. Disguisey uncovered himself with his magic as he stood near the side entrance, followed by Angela, who was above. Disguisey wore a light version of Garbuncle’s costume, but was armed with a dagger, and Angela wore a simple dress, but had bottles of various herbs and other such small creatures. “About time you got here.” Disguisey spoke “Any longer, and we may have left to find you. … Where’s Randicus and Sing-A-Long?” “Distracting them.” Captain Wuzz answered. “Which way to the Squizard’s throne room?” “Follow me.” Disguisey casted his disguise spell, looking like a skeleton himself. “And what about us!?” Mc Biggen asked “Unlike you, big guy,” Rogue spectre spoke “I know my way to hide from plain sight.” “Don’t push it, Rogue Spectre!” “I know just the thing!” Captain Wuzz spoke, pulling out some handcuffs. “And sorry, but this will work.” He placed the cuffs around Angela and Mc Biggen. “Aw… and I wanted to fly ahead.” Angela whined. “You’d be detected early.” Garbuncle spoke, casting a spell to make himself invisible again. “I won’t be far behind. And what will you do, Captain Wuzz?” “What I always do, sir.” Wuzz answered, snapping his claw and shrinking himself. “I’ll be close.” “Ooh! He’s so small!” Angela spoke. “We know,” Disguisy spoke. “But look sad; if the Squizard knows about this, we may be in those cuffs as well.” They walked inside. Rogue Spectre, as she stated, kept her place in the shadows, hopping above the chandeliers and staying still to avoid any notices from the guards. Captain Wuzz kept to the side of the walls, and readied himself with catnip, in case the Squizard’s various cats thought that he was a mouse. Garbuncle himself followed behind the others. They made their way to the Squizard’s throne room, seeing Randicus and the Squid himself fighting! Randicus’ blade was crossed with the Squizard’s wands. They stopped as they saw the group enter. “GET HIM!!!” The Squizard yelled. “Oh no you won't!” Randicus replied, pulling out two balls and throwing them to the floor. Out from one ball was a skinny looking barbarian and the other was a wise looking Samurai warrior. “Crazco! Stuffington! Defend me!” The group revealed themselves. “... Oh, never mind.” “THAT'S IT!!!” The Squizard blasted Randicus to the group. He casted a spell and copied himself. “I'll give you one chance: join me, or perish!” “Never to the likes of you!” Garbuncle yelled. “Then meet our master, old friend.” All the Squizard’s clones charged… only to be squished by the roof. Entering was Lunar, the Valcary. “...That was easy.” ------ “Luna!!!” Deadpool whined “We were having so much fun!” “Sorry,” Luna replied. “But I rolled the 20,fair and square.” “She's right.” Spike added, reading the book. “And with the Squizard defeated, our heroes take whatever they want with-” “Dat ass!” Deadpool yelled, rolling the die. It landed on a 14. “Did I get it!?” “... You do, but you now have Aids.” “Pfft! Big deal! I've always enjoyed that candy. And speaking of Candy! Nightmare Night is almost here, so you know what that means: Post all of your creepy Fics to MrAquino and we will tell them around a spooky campfire!” “Uh… Deadpool?” Thorax asked “What is this lesson about, anyways?” “Fun! Or Laughter! Next is a 2 for 1 lesson with Generosity and Honesty!” “... Ok… Can we play again? Perhaps with more action than… what Luna did.” “I’m vastly sorry for that,” Luna spoke “But the roll was done.” “Let’s go again!” Deadpool added, sitting down and back with the game, Rolling the die. “Come on! Papa’s gonna need a new pair of shoes!”