//------------------------------// // Finally. // Story: The Secret of Motherhood. // by EclipseSight //------------------------------// Silence reigned during the long train ride home, as the sun moved towards the horizon. Starlight found herself watching the sky, dreading the moment when they would set hoof back in Ponyville. Nothing could have prepared her for this. She had known for a while that Scootaloo was an orphan, though thanks to Rainbow Dash the young filly seemed happy with her lot in life. All anyone in Ponyville knew was that Scootaloo's parents had left her at the Ponyville orphanage before she had formed any memories of them. Whether that was a truth or not, it was only part of one. Sighing heavily, Starlight soon found her view obscured by the fog from her breath. Idly using her magic, she began to warp the condensation into a rough image of her cutie mark. Time lost all meaning as she allowed the simple drawing to absorb her. Focusing on a task prevented her thoughts from running rampant...somewhat. Completely wrapped up in her work, she was startled by a gentle touch on her shoulder. “Sorry,” Twilight whispered apologetically, drawing her hoof away. Starlight turned around, her expression one of unrestrained exhaustion. “I just wanted to let you know that we'll be in Ponyville in 5 minutes.” “Oh, right. Thanks,” Starlight murmured, destroying her art with a quick flourish of magic. Five minutes left and she had absolutely no idea what she was going to do. Five minutes left and she had absolutely no idea how she was going to break this news...to anyone. All she wanted to do was curl up in a corner and hide until no one remembered her. She could not begin to fathom how her friendships would be able to weather this storm. One in particular teetered perilously close to the precipice of disaster. Rainbow Dash was as close to Scootaloo as a pony could be without being related by blood. The pair had declared themselves sisters and been tightly knit ever since. Taking into account Rainbow Dash's brash nature and tendency to act first and think later only worsened the likelihood of conflict. Despite her previous help and encouragement, Starlight knew and respected the fact that all her loyalty would be with Scootaloo in this situation. All of this paled in comparison to how Scootaloo's potential reaction gnawed at her nerves. She had lived her whole life believing that her parents had simply abandoned her. How would she react to the truth? Would she believe it? Would it be better to just...keep this information to herself? Could she keep this information to herself? Motion ceased beneath her as the train came to a halt in front of Ponyville's station. None of her friends were waiting for them, something that for once she was glad of. Soft feathers curled around her around, gently guiding her from the comfortable seat. Slowly, she pressed herself against Twilight and let the alicorn steer her towards the exit. Perhaps she should have been embarrassed, all of Ponyville now knew something was wrong with the newest resident, but more pressing matters saturated her current thinking. “I'll go tell everyone we're back,” she heard Rarity say once their hooves hit the station platform. Her mouth moved in a feeble attempt to offer her agreement and Rarity left. Wriggling herself out from under Twilight's wing, Starlight started the long trudge towards the castle. It was somewhere familiar, somewhere safe...if only for a few moments. When the huge golden doors shut behind her, everything felt normal. It was just another day in the castle, learning about friendship. Except, that was just a fantasy right now. Whatever happened in the next few minutes had the potential to rend her friendships asunder. “I don't know what to do...” she finally admitted, though it made her feel no better. “What you've done all the way through this,” Twilight answered, gently lifting her weary student's chin with a wing in order to make eye contact “Be honest. No one's going to think any less of you... Starlight this wasn't something you could have controlled or changed...” “That doesn't make it any easier,” Starlight shot back, bitterness dripping from her voice. She pulled away from Twilight, viciously storming away. Whirling around, she shouted, “It still leaves me here! I mean... Rainbow and Scootaloo are as close as sisters... you tutor her and the other crusaders, Rarity and Applejack have siblings who are stuck to her like glue... Fluttershy loves them all as well and Spike gets into so many crazy adventures with them I'm surprised he's not a crusader!” “I don't get into that many adventures,” the young dragon piped up, earning him a warning glance from Twilight. “And now it happens again! After trying to destroy your friendships and almost having Equestria as collateral damage, here I am again! Just trying to do one thing and instead destroying everything I hold dear!” “It won't come to that,” Twilight said calmly, remaining unflinching even when Starlight gave a disbelieving snarl. “You know it won't come to that.” “I should...but that's all I feel...” Starlight hissed. “The worst of what can happen...always seems to happen.” "Not everything is going to happen like that. Not everything is going to hurt you.” Twilight kept her voice quiet yet firm. She understood that Starlight was just lashing out in confusion and believed nothing of what she was saying deep down in her heart. “You just have to give life a chance...” Still breathing heavily, Starlight tried to formulate a response. When none came, she groaned and pressed her forehead into the nearest wall. The chilly crystal soothed her scorching forehead. Whether it was her memory resurgence or just her frustration she did not care, the cold soothed the raging flame. “How can you be so optimistic? That's going to get you hurt one of these times...” “Maybe,” Twilight shrugged, glad that things had mellowed down to a talking level. “It didn't get me hurt with you did it?” Starlight looked up at this, and Twilight continued. “Actually it was being pessimistic that got me hurt if you remember. I almost ruined everything for you when I couldn't bring myself to trust Trixie... If that really had happened, I would never be able to forgive myself.” Remembering that day gave Starlight reason to both smile and shudder. It had started off so wrong, then right only to dip into each side multiple times. Everything had worked out in the end for all involved, minus Princess Celestia, but the day still summed up life. Her life specifically. A jumble of ups and downs, biting off more than she could chew, little instances of chance having long lasting implications and deep rooted connections. While she would often use the phrase as a joke, part of her really did wish that she had simply been locked away. At least then she would know her lot in life, preferable to this never ending confusion. “I know what you're trying to say... I'm just scared...scared like I've never been before... I don't want to lose everything...not...not again.” “You won't...” Spike said firmly. He strode over to Starlight and placed a claw on her shoulder. “You'll still have me...and Twilight, and Sunburst and Trixie and everyone else. No one's going to abandon you just because of this.” “How can you be so sure?” Starlight asked, giving him a hard stare even as hope caused her voice to tremble. “Because I know our friends,” Spike replied simply. Starlight gave him a strained half smile in response. “Do you want a minute to calm down or do you want to just tell them and get it over with?” Twilight questioned, pulling open the door to the throne room and stepping inside. “I'll...just get it over with,” Starlight muttered, following the lavender alicorn into the room. Despite Spike's confidence, apprehension still held Starlight in a vice-grip. She was soon pacing a hole in the floor, or would have been back in the old library. Thankfully crystal was much more durable than wood. Twilight just looked on worriedly. Hopefully, tonight would be the end of it. She had no doubt that her friends would be able to work everything out. The worry that clawed at her heart, was whether Starlight would ever get over her crippling fear of failure. When it reared its ugly head, she turned from a confident and assured pony into a quivering shell. Even so, Twilight had to admire the strength it would take to keep forging ahead, despite whatever reservations one might have. It was something she herself had been forced to do multiple times. “Darling,” Rarity called quietly, peeking her head through the doors. “Everyone's waiting. Do you want me to-” “Let them in,” Starlight interrupted with a sigh, putting her front hooves on the large round table. The creaking of the huge crystal doors assaulted her ears. Every moment that passed only increased her burning desire to flee. Running was easy, running was safe. So why was she still here? Why had she stayed for so long? Why had she not just run as soon as her revenge plan had fallen through. 'Because it was what you needed,' a small voice in her head chuckled. 'You're better now than you've ever been and you know it. You can't keep running, or trying to change things to suit you.' Grumbling at just how accurate her inner voice was, Starlight looked up. By now everyone was seated, waiting patiently for her to speak. Twilight, Spike and Rarity were all giving her encouraging smiles. Spike's earlier words reverberated around her head. She should know that these ponies were not going to instantly turn on her, and she did. That was not her fear. Her fear was that she would sow dissent, destroy everything in her wake without even meaning to. With a track record like hers, her fear were not particularly unfounded. Her inner struggle would have left her friends waiting in silence for an uncomfortable length of time, if Starlight had not temporarily lost control of her vocal chords. “I'm Scootaloo's mother!” she yelled out, her voice echoing across the cavernous room. The words were out before she could stop them, no amount of clamping her hoof over her mouth would take them back. It was true that she did not have any sort of speech or flash cards ready like Twilight would, but that had just been ridiculous. When the chorus of gasps had died down to silence, she looked out over her friends. More specifically she looked at Rainbow. The cyan pegasus had a face of utter disbelief. She looked on the verge of laughing and demanding this was all some sort of joke. When her eyes met the sombre looks on Twilight, Spike and Rarity's faces, the disbelief gave way to outrage. This lasted only a moment before she finally settled on a scowl. “S-sorry...that probably wasn't the best way to say that...” Starlight said weakly, backing away from the table. “It...could have been done better,” Rainbow repliedbluntly, finally finding her voice. Starlight winced at the freezing edge coating the words. “You did your best...” Fluttershy put in, trying to comfort the distraught unicorn. “I'm sure it wasn't an easy thing to try and say.” “Sometimes it's best to just let yourself say something. That way it's coming directly from your heart.” Applejack commented, hoping to put a positive spin on the situation. In truth she herself was still reeling from the news. This was going to change a lot of things. In the same wintry voice, Rainbow asked. "What are you going to tell her?" “No idea...” Starlight admitted shakily, averting her sapphire eyes from the hard ruby stare. No one said anything for a long time. Everyone was tense, unable to predict what would happen next. The stillness stretched on, no one wanted to move, for fear of lending a spark to the silent conflict. Rainbow suddenly shifted in her seat; Starlight winced and pulled away instinctively, seeming to shrink under the weight of her own anxiety. Rainbow was upon her in an instant, before she could even blink. Soon Starlight found herself ensnared by Rainbow's powerful hoof. One hoof was all it took for the athletic mare to hold the less physically fit unicorn in place. Her other hoof was quickly occupied by vigorously rubbing Starlight's mane, making a total mess of it. “Hey!” Starlight yelled, before bursting into relieved laughter. Of all the reactions, this was not one she had expected. Yet it was so...Rainbow Dash. “That's your punishment for thinking anything bad was going to happen,” Rainbow snorted, her voice thick with emotion. Starlight blushed, feeling suitably admonished for thinking so negatively about her amazing group of friends. Satisfied, Rainbow released her. Once free, Starlight stood up and started to brush herself off. Her muscles froze in place when she caught a glimpse of moisture glistening on Rainbow's cheeks. Her mouth opened and she started to question it, but Rainbow's hoof cut off any speech. The look in Rainbow's eyes stopped the words in her throat, letting them fall back down into silence. Applejack's strong voice rang out, tearing Starlight away from Rainbow for the moment. Taking her chance, Rainbow quickly dried her eyes with a swipe of her hoof. “So where exactly do we go from here?” the farm pony asked, directing her question to the entire room. “No idea...” Pinkie Pie pouted, her face becoming a picture of intense concentration. Fluttershy and Rarity were similarly stumped. “I guess the first thing to ask is...should I say this? To Scootaloo I mean... Or would she be better just not knowing?” Starlight asked softly, letting the question hang in the air. Rainbow's answer was immediate and passionate. “No way! You gotta tell her! She's never known why her parents left her... I know Scootaloo. She needs to know!” “Okay...” Starlight whispered, taking several deep breaths before speaking again, “Next question. How exactly do we go about this? Should we just...break the news?” “No other way for it that I can see...” Applejack answered sagely, her hat sliding forwards with the motion. “Though, perhaps not quite as forcefully this time...” Rarity suggested delicately, causing Starlight's cheeks to burn again. “Yeah...that...was...” she chuckled nervously, a sheepish smile stretching across her face. “Maybe only Rainbow and Starlight should be there?” Fluttershy put forward meekly. When everyone turned to her, she shrank back. Her mane fell over her eye. “Umm...so that it isn't quite as overwhelming for everyone involved.” “That could help...” Twilight mused, even though she was reluctant to have Starlight out of her sight right now. Not with how fragile the unicorn was right now, both emotionally and physically. Regardless of her own misgivings, it was not her decision to make. The plan was solid in and of itself. Turning to the two aforementioned friends, she asked “What do you think?” “I...I dunno,” Starlight mumbled, predictably gripped by nerves at the prospect. Rarity pulled a face, thinking it over for a moment. Looking at Starlight, then around the room, then back at Starlight she amended the plan. “Perhaps Spike should go along as well. Just for some additional support.” She would have suggested Twilight, to allay the alicorn's worries. However, she reasoned that both Twilight and Starlight, under this much stress, would be far too much for the Scootaloo right now. Spike's inclusion would help keep things grounded, while also easing Twilight's fears. Seeing Twilight visibly relax made her smile contentedly. That had been the right choice. Rainbow agreed as well, taking to the air. “Let's get going then! We don't have all night.” Still anxious, Starlight followed Rainbow out the door. Well wishes from her friends spurned her on. When she felt they were out of earshot, Starlight gently tugged Rainbow's tail with her magic. The pegasus turned and fixed Starlight with a quizzical stare. This time holding her ground under Rainbow's withering gaze, she asked, “You aren't okay with this are you?” Now thoroughly confused, Rainbow huffed. Folding her arms across her chest, she raised an eyebrow. “What? What are you talking about? Why would I not be okay with this?” “You were crying...and you didn't seem to want to believe it when I said it,” Starlight explained bluntly. There was nothing that would make her let this go. If her friends were going to help her, then she was going to make sure they were absolutely comfortable with doing so. She owed them that much. “It came out of nowhere,” Rainbow defended, throwing her hooves into the air. Lowering them again, she then let a smile touch her lips. “And no...it's not that I'm not okay with it... I'm... actually happy.” “Happy?” “Yeah...Scootaloo finally gets to know who her mum is, you get to know who you're daughter is... It's a win win isn't it?” “Yeah, I guess...I was just-” “Worried that I wouldn't like you being Scootaloo's mum because of how close we are?” Rainbow finished, giving the unicorn a deadpan look. “Sort of...I...I was worried that I would break everything without meaning to...again.” “Eh, we don't break easy,” Rainbow said, her trademark confident smirk accompanying the statement, “Right Spike?” “Right,” the dragon nodded, nudging Starlight with his elbow. “Told you.” She gave him a smile in return. “Anyway, no need to worry about that. Just, don't hurt her okay?” Rainbow pleaded, suddenly dropping her confident mask for the second time that day. “Just...don't.” “I won't..” Starlight promised, leaning upwards and nuzzling Rainbow's cheek gently. “I promise.” “Good. Now, let's go break the news. It'll be fine.” With that, Rainbow flew out of the castle and into Ponyville. The village was winding down for the day, as Celestia's sun dipped closer to the horizon. Hopefully, they would be able to find Scootaloo before dark. After a few minutes of fruitless searching around town, Spike made the suggestion to check the clubhouse. As they approached the Crusader Clubhouse, Rainbow's status as a certified Scootaloo magnet paid off. Coming out of the clubhouse, Scootaloo was instantly at her idol's side. “Hey Rainbow!” Scootaloo yelled excitedly, skidding to a halt in front of the cyan pegasus. As usual, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were right behind her. Panting, the pair came up level with their friend and shot her a glare. “Scootaloo! We're in a hurry!” Sweetie Belle huffed, pointing to the large cauldron she and Apple Bloom were carrying between them. “We need to get this back to Zecora before dark.” “I know I know!” Scootaloo huffed, pouting at her two friends. “I just wanted to say hi to Rainbow Dash.” “Actually squirt, we were looking for ya,” Rainbow said gently, putting her hoof on Scootaloo's shoulder to stop the young filly from rocketing away. Scootaloo froze in place. Enthusiasm glistening in her wide-eyed grin, she turned back to face Rainbow. “Huh? What's up?” she asked innocently, tilting her head at the trio. Starlight was trying to hide behind Rainbow at this point, her nerve starting to fail her. “We should probably go inside,” Rainbow said, jabbing her hoof at the clubhouse. “It's important.” “Don't worry about the cauldron,” Spike interjected when Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged worried looks. “I'll get it to Zecora.” “Huh, sure,” Apple Bloom said with a shrug, eager to relieve herself of the heavy load. Seeing the youngsters struggling, Starlight effortlessly lifted the huge pot with a levitation spell. “Wow, thanks,” Sweetie Belle grinned, watching as Starlight placed the cauldron carefully on the grass. “Come on inside,” Scootaloo called, already waving them in. Excitement radiated from her, practically spilling from her fluttering wings. Starlight averted her eyes uneasily; a gentle brush from Rainbow's wings strengthened her resolve. When everyone was suitably comfortable, Rainbow gave Starlight another encouraging nudge. Inhaling deeply, the unicorn then stood up and exhaled to steady herself. Gulping down the lump which seemed to be permanently affixed to her throat, Starlight began. “Okay...well...where to start... For the past few days I've been looking for someone. I only wanted to find them and make sure they're okay but well... it turns out I already know them.” “How can you be looking for someone you already know without knowing you know them?” Apple Bloom asked inquisitively. Starlight chuckled sheepishly, “A lot of magic...and a lot of time,” she answered wearily. The crusaders looked at each other and shrugged, deciding to just accept the statement at face value. “Anyway,” she continued, injecting some life into her voice. “I uuh, eventually managed to find who I was looking for just today. The answer, shocked me a little but now that everything is over I...I know it's true.” Scootaloo blinked and raised an eyebrow. “So...uh, why are you telling us this?” “That's...even more complicated...” Starlight sighed. This was it, the final push. “The pony I was looking for, was the foal I had to give up eleven years ago.” “Wait, you had a baby?” Sweetie Belle blurted out, while Apple Bloom gasped in surprise. Scootaloo went quiet, a sinking feeling settling into her stomach. She knew all to well what it was like to have someone taken from you without really knowing them. “Yeah...but she was taken from me. I used magic to erase the memories, so I wouldn't do anything I would regret. It never came up again until two days ago when the spells were broken. My friends and I then started to look for the foal...just to check on her and make sure everything was okay. Today...I finally found her,” she paused, her tightening throat making speaking a chore. The sinking feeling in Scootaloo's stomach only intensified. Now her heart was racing. There was no way this could ever make sense. So why did it? Several pairs of eyes now turned to her, and once again Apple Bloom could not hide her shock. “Yeah...it's...it's you Scootaloo...” Starlight stated, not wanting to prolong the young mare's discomfort. Hearing these words, Scootaloo felt a surge of anger boil up into her throat. Eleven years of being in an orphanage with no idea where she came from and now this? This was not what was supposed to happen. Enraged, she did the only thing she could think to do. Like mother like daughter, she ran. The door slammed behind her, shaking the wooden walls. Torn, Starlight made to go after her only to be yanked back by her own self-doubt. Frantic, she turned to Rainbow. The anguish on her face spoke volumes. “I got it!” Rainbow called out, dashing out the door and after her adopted sister. Scootaloo was still running, tears streaming down her cheeks. She wanted to go home and never have to look at Starlight again. There was no way Starlight could be her mother, she was Twilight's new pupil. They had driven her round the bend trying to find a book while Twilight was out, had asked her to help them with whatever crazy schemes Twilight would have frowned upon. Despite initially being somewhat standoffish, Starlight had become something of a friend. A slightly scary, yet still completely dependable friend-in her own unique way. Now apparently that friend was supposed to be Scootaloo's long lost mother? No way! She would not allow it! A rush of air ruffled Scootaloo's hair, spurring her to run faster. It was useless though, as a pair of strong hooves carefully grabbed her from behind and stopped her in place. She struggled against the warm hold, refusing to give in to her desperate need for comfort. Even as her heart ached her body continued to resist. She did not want to hear, or see anyone or anything right now. “Scoots! Calm down! Please!” she heard Rainbow say, the warm grip tightening gently around her body. “No! Leave me alone! It's not fair!” Scootaloo screamed, redoubling her efforts to break free. “Just let me go!” “Not until you calm down,” Rainbow answered, her tone leaving no room for argument. Scootaloo struggled for a few moment's more, before sagging into the older mare's chest. With no more fight left to give, she snuggled into Rainbow's fur. Sobbing openly now, she wailed, “Why...I...I don't understand. My parents left me...How can this...How...I've went my whole life not knowing...It was just getting to be okay...I had you...and now...” she trailed off and buried her face deeper into Rainbow's warmth. “I know...” the older pegasus said gently. “I don't know why you were left at the orphanage...” Scootaloo raised her head at this, the blurry image of Rainbow's face forming in her tear soaked eyes. “But...Scoots, Starlight...Starlight didn't have anything to do with that...” “She...she didn't?” Scootaloo stammered, “But...But, how?” “Your, father took you away from her.” Rainbow answered, deciding that the young filly deserved the truth. Starlight could go through her later if she really wanted to. “He took you away from her right after you were born. Starlight told us all just a few days ago. It happened when she was in Canterlot looking for one of her friends...” “That's horrible!” “Yeah... he's just lucky I wasn't there at the time,” Rainbow snorted, clenching her jaw. The same boiling feeling returned from when Starlight had first told the story. Now that Scootaloo was involved, things just got a lot more personal. If she ever found out who that stallion was she would make him regret ever meeting Starlight. This brought out a small smile from Scootaloo, though it was short lived, then her brow furrowed. “So... what... what do I do now?” “That's up to you,” Rainbow replied softly. “I know this came out of nowhere...but you're still awesome. I know you'll do good.” “Will...Will you still be my big sister?” Scootaloo mumbled, sounding small and helpless. Rainbow grinned, pulling Scootaloo closer. “Of course! Nothing's ever gonna change that!” “Good...” Scootaloo nodded, wrapping her hooves around the cyan pegasus and hugging her tightly. They stayed there for several minutes, wrapped in each other's embrace. Rainbow would shy away from such a blatant display of public affection, but she would let it slide this once. Movement caused her to open her hooves, allowing Scootaloo to stand up. The filly looked nervous, but had a determined glint in her eye. “Let's go back. I...I need to talk with...my mum.” Starlight by this point was being comforted by the two remaining crusaders, while Spike was taking the cauldron back to Zecora as promised. Both of them had questions, and she satisfied their curiosity as best as her tired mind would allow. Her thoughts were elsewhere. Hopefully Rainbow had been able to find the young mare. It should have been her that had run after Scootaloo, but once again her own fear had held her in place. Her only defence was to forcefully change the world around her, a response she now knew to be wrong...very wrong. How did Twilight make this all look so easy? After five whole minutes of standing outside, Scootaloo finally mustered the courage to open the door. Rainbow had just stood silently by, offering silent support. This was Scootaloo's step to take, and she would take it in her own time. When the light from the clubhouse spilled out onto the darkening doorstep, Scootaloo gulped. Hearing the faint sound as if it were a clap of thunder, Starlight whirled around. Their eyes met. Neither of them spoke, well aware that everyone else was holding their breath. Finally breaking the silence, Starlight murmured, “H-hi Scootaloo...” “H-Hi,” Scootaloo replied shakily. She wanted to say Starlight, but the name caught in her throat. A small voice in her heart wanted to say mum, but she could not bring her outer voice to say it. Not yet. “H-How are you feeling?” Starlight asked awkwardly, wishing the question sounded less ridiculous in the face of all that had just occurred. Scootaloo swung her left leg in front of her right, rubbing her hoof nervously. “Good...” she mumbled, maintaining the distance between them. Starlight did the same. Then Scootaloo asked the most important question she felt she would ever ask. “D-Did you mean to give me up?” she asked, her eyes welling up with tears. The question struck Starlight, her heart skipped a beat. Without needing to think, she shook her head. “No...I didn't. I...I just, felt so powerless...When you were taken I...just had to hold onto the hope that you were happy... There was nothing I could do. I'm sorry... I wanted to, I was just...too weak.” That was all Scootaloo needed to hear. In a single bound she was on top of Starlight, hooves wrapped around her neck. Startled, Starlight took a moment to process what was happening. When she recovered, the unicorn immediately returned the hug. Both were crying now, but now it was tears not of sadness, but of joy. Rainbow gave a small nod, glowing with pride for her young friend. After eleven years of feeling out of place...she had finally found where she came from. After an unjust world had torn them apart, Starlight and Scootaloo had finally found each other.