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// Terror Tales of Ponyville 
// Story: My little Hellsing II 
// by Mr Wolf 
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It was Nightmare Night, the night dedicated to the fears and ghouls that haunted Equestia many centuries ago. Dedicated to the restless spirits that would rise and take revenge on those who wronged them. Dedicated to Nightmare Moon, the mare who plotted to turn the world into eternal night. Back then, petrified ponies had mental breakdowns of this on time in each year.

Now only laughter and costumed ponies reigned supreme as they held on to the more modern festivities. The new decorations helped out as well as electronic skulls cackled maniacally at trick-or-treaters who approached houses. Stands were set up, each with holiday themed merchandise or games like pumpkin carving, apple bobbing and eating donuts off a string. (A/N: I did that at a party one time) Over at Sugarcube Corner, a wild party, held by the matriarch of parties herself, was in full swing. Though nobody dared to dress up as a vampire for fear of death. Alucard was amongst the guests, dressed in a desperado outfit which he 'rented' from the local tailor (Rarity). Seras was not far behind him, clad in an Cherokee outfit. Sir Integra, dressed as a mummy, was conversing with all four princesses, who more or less came to make sure Alucard did not kill anyone and blame the fact that he thought they were real.

Everyone was enjoying themselves, Anderson and his disciples and the officers of Millennium were there too, having brokered a peace with Hellsing to not try and kill each other on two days only: Nightmare Night and Hearths Warming. The officers (consisting of the Major, the Doctor, Schrodinger, Rip van Winkle, the Valentine Brothers, the Dandy Man, the Werewolf and Zorin) were all dressed in German uniforms with spiked helmets, whilst Anderson and his crew were dressed up as the mafia.

"All righty everyone!" Came Pinkie's voice over the noise via microphone "It's time for the annual spooky story telling contest. The usual prize as always: A month supply of candy! Our contestants are: Alucard, Alexander Anderson and Major Hanz von Schlüsselberg! Which one would like to come up here?" Alexander Anderson stepped through the crowd and took the device from the pink mare.

"All right, now face the wrath of a Catholic Priest, cos' believe it or not we tell terrifying tales." With that, the sociopathic holy man began.



**THE DAY OF RAP-TURE**

Alexander Anderson and Co. walked down the misty lit street, with no clue on how to get to their destination. Heinkel Wolfe threw up his hands in defeat and frustration.

"Father Anderson! We've been walking for hours now. We need to ask for directions."

"I know." Came the man's reply. "What do you think I've been searching for, for the past two hours?" He gave heavy grunt before muttering something on mutilating Alucard to get rid of some stress. After another hour of blindly walking on the cobble road, they saw a pony, right next to a boom box, surrounded by a gang of ponies who look to be the townsfolk. "Hey!" Shouted Anderson. "Can you give us some directions?"

The pony with the boom box played some rap music before rapping. "Yo, you want to ask me. The world's greatest mc? Then all you got to do is beat me, and then you may go. Though if you lose, then you and your ho's, will no longer be."

Heinkel looked to Anderson. "Do we really need to humour this man? I mean he isn't bad but I've heard better."

"Well we either beat him or we stay lost in this fog!" the priest turned to the pony. "We accept!"

Yumi went first as she was the best out of them in terms of rapping. "All right let me show you how it's done, not going to brag or spoil ya fun. But you're looking at the mistress rhyme, and by the time I'm done ya would've wished you left in time. Don't try to beat me: cos' my woman's intuition say your next verse will end horribly. That is, if ya ain a protestant chicken."

The pony smirked and begun. "Now I ain't bein' sexist nor racist, but you two legged women need to get some braces cos' all I saw was a mouth of crooked teeth that just spewed out premature words that couldn't form a coherent speech, ya bitch, why don't you take that butter knife and end yourself."

As if on cue, Yumi's sword flew out of her possession and sliced through her body. A beat, then she tumbled into tiny pieces of flesh. The look on the Paladins face was of pure horror, but the Wolfe was of anger and stepped forward. "Ok, my pistol is cocked and loaded and it's aiming at a dumbass which is a tad bit bloated, besides that you will pay, with me blasting you to Swiss before going on my way."

The pony scoffed. "You call that a rhyme? There is more creativity in a parasprite! Though you little whore was more of value, but now it's time for me to crush you." A hammer came out of nowhere as the boy was instantly reduced to a bloody pulp of crushed bone and muscle.

Anderson, the last one standing, took a step forward. "Look, if ya think ya scary, then don't. I face monstrous heathens that had more fright than you. If ya read my bible you will hear of Christ and Moses. In yer body I will break every single bone. Cos' you killed my compadre's of two and at yer funeral they'll be throwing roses."

"Man of God. You sin so dearly. Thinking that all is for Jesus well you think not clearly, and now it's time for you to come home." As the last verse ended, a demonic pit of hell opened up and clawed hands took hold of Anderson, dragging him down as he screamed bloody murder.





Everyone one looked at Anderson.

"Was this your way of telling us you don't like rapping?" deadpanned Alucard. "Cause if it is... Go do it another time you fucking party pooper!”

Anderson grumbled before passing the microphone to the Major, snickering afterwards at remembering his real name.



****The Dollhouse****

The Major and the Doctor was soaked to the bone. They had been on this trail for a month now and they needed to take shelter from the unrelenting rain. Fortune favoured them as they saw an old looking manor. They stepped onto the patio and knocked on the door three times. After a minute, an old man, covered head to toe, with his eyes as the exception, in army uniform. He said nothing, only pointing at a lone door down the hallway. It was a bland red, with dull golden accents. The Major and his companion stepped in. Unaware of the danger that awaits them, they carry on. They reached the end and upon opening the door, three thousand dolls jump out and kill them.





Everyone just looked at him and Alucard shouted “OK! WHY YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS SCARY, I HAVE NO IDEA. THE CATHOLIC’S STORY WAS BETTER FOR FUCK SAKE!”

Schrodinger just smirked. “It’s because his mommy dress him up as a girl.”

Gunshots were made followed by a “YOU’RE DEAD!” as the Major vented his anger.

Alucard stepped up and grinned. Everyone knew he had the most traumatising story ever. But they didn’t know what it was. Was it gory? Was it his past?

In a clear voice, the red vampire said. “Once upon a time… Pinkie pie found out she was pregnant with Schrodinger’s child…”




Alucard munched on a toffee, an entire bag of sweets next to him and seven ponies in the psychiatric ward.