//------------------------------// // Ch.66 "We're off to see the... Lord of Chaos" // Story: Chrysalis Wins // by Arkolo //------------------------------// Chrysalis Wins Ch.66 “Were off to see the… Lord of Chaos” ( Crystal Empire, distant past ) The sky was a bubbly orange, and it rained. Not natural rain, but rain born of magical whimsy. Whimsy that was not entirely friendly. The kind of whimsy that slammed an enormous pancake on top of the crystal palace, which turned to elegant structure into an oversized breakfast fork. Today though, today was a special day. One young princess was not going to be deterred by the spaghetti that flowed unchecked through the streets! She was not going to despair at the sour-patch candy brambles that grew everywhere! She wasn’t going to get lost in the canyons of miscellaneous objects of interest! No, nothing would distract her from her goal today. Princess Sly stepped outside onto the balcony of the palace, a large steel umbrella held over head. The well of memories hovered just behind her as she gazed out across the disaster of a kingdom. Nopony and no changeling was outside of shelter if their could avoid it. Syrup constantly fell from the sky in a soft patter, as larger objects occasionally hailed down with it, such as fruit and globs of whipped cream. A banana whizzed down from the sky with great speed, and splattered into mush upon Sly’s umbrella. The wrecked fruit made a fairly loud DONG! upon the metal shield, and brought the crimson maned changeling into focus. Her transparent wings buzzed to life, and she jumped over the balcony, steel umbrella overhead, and well in tow. She was ready. “Be safe dear!” Called out an anxious queen Crafty from behind. In response the young princess swiveled her aerial posture and shouted back, even as she continued to depart. “Of course mom!” Soon she was out of ear shot, and close to the edge of the utterly harassed city. In the distance she saw two figures she had been expecting. An excited smile broke across her muzzle as she landed next to the pair of unicorns. Both of the ponies also had their own steel umbrellas. The shorter blue unicorn greeted her first. “Are you ready Sly?” “Ofcourse! And the two of you? Lulu, Tia?” The taller alabaster unicorn gave a wry smile. “That question would be more pertinent for the actual contestants, but yes, I’m ready to help in whatever way I can.” Sly’s tail wriggled in excitement, and she started to prance forward along a butter brick road. The sister unicorns pranced up and alongside the changeling with great enthusiasm. The princess begins to break into song. “Fantastic! I can’t wait for a change! So we’re off-” “To see a challenge!” “The most overdue challenge of all!” - All three of them sing in unison- To boot the oaf of an oaf if ever an oaf there was! if ever oh ever a oaf there was the lord of chaos is one, Because because, because, because, because because! Because of the excessive things he does. We’re off to see a challenge! The most overdue challenge of all! And so they sang and pranced as the trio made their way down the butter brick road. The breakfast storm did nothing to deter their youthful glee. --- ( Crystal empire, modern day ) “BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAU-” Crone put a hoof into Shellish’s mouth to stop her from singing along. “Please, Shellish.” “What? It’s catchy…” The pouty face on the older queen made Crone roll her eyes and sigh. “Just don’t do it too loudly, I don’t want to miss details.” “Ok…” A hoof tapped the well and the memory resumed. --- ( Borders of Equestria, distant past ) Eventually the equine trio came across the next member to join the party. A tall female draconequus was off the side of the road, and busily stirred an enormous cauldron. The liquid inside bubbled all kinds of changing colors. The chimera stopped after a moment, and dipped her paw into the unstable substance. Then, with a large glob of it stuck to a claw, she proceeded to shove it in her mouth. She suckled it for a moment, a expression of unsure contemplation upon her countenance. Then… an explosion. Pink, purple, and green flames blew out the local vicinity, and when it cleared, everything was covered in soot. A changeling and two unicorns stood on the butter brick road, unsurprised by what occurred. “You ready Anarchy?” The three of them called out in unison, which the draconequus responded too quickly. “I think I got the formula just right! I’ll scrub the throne squeaky clean of Golden’s arse!” The aftereffects of the explosion began to change the nearby landscape. Rain went up instead of down. Nearby trees grew younger, and devolved into seeds. A bunny hopped through a hungry bear like a ghost. A sparrow began to sing with a deep bass opera voice, and rules of nature were generally violated. Princess Sly nodded in approval, the display was as impressive as it was disconcerting. “Well then…” -Four of them sing in unison- We’re off to see a challenge! The most overdue challenge of all! To boot the oaf of an oaf if ever an oaf there was! if ever oh ever a oaf there was the lord of chaos is one, Because because, because, because, because because! Because of the excessive things he does. We’re off to see a challenge! The most overdue challenge of all! --- ( Crystal Empire, modern day ) Crone eyed Shellish, who remained silent. So the clone reached out to continue the memory, but stopped halfway and rounded on Shellish again, expecting her to burst into song at any moment. Though she never did, and it was the older queen that rolled her eyes this time. “Why did you pause in the first place?” “I…” Crone awkwardly didn’t finisher her own sentence, after the brief pause, she grunted and lifted a hoof to continue. “BECAUSE OF THE EXCESSIVE THINGS HE DOES!” “SHELLISH!” --- ( Borders of Canterlot, distant past ) The party of four continued their relentless and enthusiastic trip down the butterbrick road. This time the resplendent city of canterlot came into view. It was a relatively small town, right at the base of a great mountain. Though for it’s time, it was known as a great center of the arts, performance, various other media. Along the way they spotted their next companion at a crossroads. The division split the roadway in two directions. One went straight to Canterlot, the other down to Pega. A tall male draconequus was busy in conversation with an elder, overly bearded, overly dressed unicorn stallion. “Yes, they really are the ones who guided us here. We didn’t really know or care what their intentions were, they just promised us a raw peaceful land, one that we could come and liven up. We were awfully bored on that old island you see.” Discord casually stroked his much more modest goatee, while he recounted the requested tale. The brusk old stallion busily wrote notes on a thick piece of parchment. “And what did you say their names were?” “It was Adagio, Aria, and Sonata. Of which, Adagio was definitely the lead. But you should be able to spot them all easily enough. They’re all hippocampi.” “Hmm, yes, yes, thank you very much sir Discord.” “Oh the pleasure is mine, though if I could ask for one thing, I’d like you to record the encounter, I anticipate it will be most entertaining.” “Ofcourse, ofcourse. I don’t do anything without recording it.” “Starswirl?” Tia called out in recognition as the two groups came across each other. The old stallion’s eyes lit up upon hearing her voice. “Aw, Tia, it’s been too long. How is the empire up north?” “Covered in a giant pancake…” “Oh, I see. Heh, I was recently lost in a canyon of assorted library books, but to my infinite vexation, they were all blank. Anyway, anyway. I see you’ve brought quite the group with you!” “Yes, we’re on our way to change the state of our country. Would you like to come along? Discord and Anarchy here are going to be challengers for the throne!” “Challengers for the throne you say? I’d be glad if this Discord fellow replaced that corpulent mass of waste, he’d leagues more polite at the very least… But I’m afraid I have to decline that offer Tia. I think I found a third party to this circus of madness, one that’s trying to take advantage of all the negative energy. One that could potentially become a bigger problem than Golden Spoon.” The alabaster unicorn narrowed her brow in concern. And was about to inquire further when Starswirl spoke with dismissive assurance. “Oh it’s not that way yet, I think I can handle it myself. But I wish the best of luck to all of you. The day you remove Golden spoon simply can’t come too soon.” Starswirl dragged his overly long beard along the ground as he made his way over to a little cart, full of his belongings. Discord waved to the older stallion as he departed. “Best of luck to you as well, in handling the girls!” Then the draconequus turned to the rest of the party, all of whom bristled with anticipation. “Shall we?” They all started to skip down the road. -Five of them sing in unison- We’re off to see a challenge! The most overdue challenge of all! To boot the oaf of an oaf if ever an oaf there was! if ever oh ever a oaf there was the lord of chaos is one, Because because, because, because, because because! Because of the excessive things he does. We’re off to see a challenge! The most overdue challenge of all! --- (Crystal Empire, modern day) Crone sat there and stared at Shellish for a solid five minutes. Eventually the older queen sighed in annoyance. “It was fun the first time or two. I’m done, let’s keep looking.” The younger royal didn’t move, but continued to stare with narrowed eyes. So Shellish scooted over and tapped the well herself. --- ( Borders of the city of Pega, distant past ) The gang saw their last member shortly ahead. The last draconequus sat on top of a large stone, eyes closed, arms out stretched, legs crossed. A perfect model of meditation. Sly actually felt apprehensive about disturbing him, but Anarchy had no such reservations. “Come on bro! It’s time to go, we got a show down the row!” She jumped on his back and latched onto his horns, so she could give his head a vigorous shake. None of this broke his meditative expression, but he replied in placid tone. “Please stop Ana…” “C’mon, we’re about to make the biggest heist of our lives! The least you can do is show it a little enthusiasm.” “Indeed, I feel the jitters overcoming me!” Discord concurred with Anarchy, and his body started to write like a basket of snakes. The equines watched the draconequi with amusement, and Tia forwarded a question. “What, do you feel you need more training Mayham?” The focused draconequus finally cracked an eye open, and turned towards the pony as his stance dropped. “I could never have enough. My two compatriots here simply don’t understand what it means to be weary. I believe there’s good reason Golden Spoon has been in charge for longer than our living memories.” “Do you not believe you can win then?” Lulu cut in. “For once, don’t be a downer Ham! You’ll do fine, I bet the first one of you three that does the challenge will get it. Golden Spoon is too old, fat, and lazy.” Sly stated confidently. “Speaking of which, which one of us should go first?” Discord paused his writhing to question the other two. “I’ll go first!” Anarchy shouted, and struck a power pose. “I could careless.” Mayham looked to Discord, who in turn shrugged. “Very well, I’ll go last. You two can tire him out for me.” He smirked, and stuck out his tongue. Mayham rolled his eyes at Discord’s faux strategy, and Anarchy called out in offense. “HEY! I can totally beat him. Just you wait Dissy! You’re gonna eat those words when I become Anarchy! Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony!” “Alright, alright! Let’s get to the main event already! We’ve only tromped across all of equestria to get here!” Sly started to hop and skip along the road to the city proper, the two ponies quickly picked up after her, and the draconequi pursued along. -Five Voices begin to pipe up- “We’re off to-” “NO! No, noooo… No singing. You’ll throw off my focus completely.” Mayham interrupted all of them with a thunderous voice. The equines turn to the grumpy figure and collectively pouted like a basket of puppies. “But Haaaammmm.” “NO! You’re not actually doing the challenge Sly, Tia, Lulu! And you two, Discord! Anarchy! Get more serious! I am here to win, not go through the motions and leave everything the same miserable mess.” Fire and smoke sizzled out of the belligerent draconequus’s nostrils. None of the rest of them challenged the fierce display, but rather, voiced a unanimous, “Ok…” --- (Crystal Empire, modern day) Crone made a rather girlish giggle “I think I like this… Mayham.” Shellish put a hoof to her face out of exasperation. “Of all the things I didn’t get to teach you… I should have helped you develop a proper taste in males.”