The three headed back into the woods. "At least we know Luna was right," said Scootaloo. "Would've really stunk to be stuck in an alternate universe."
"Yeah, tell meh about it," said Applebloom.
"Hey, do you hear something?" Sweetie Belle asked, the sound of music coming by.
To their surprise, a procession of Wuv Cats marched by, each with Pinkie Pie's patented One Man Band set up on them and leading a small swarm of Parasprites over to a portal of some kind, stopping just short of it and sending the Parasprites through it.
"Uh..." Sweetie Belle said, blinking.
"Hi girls! Enjoying your new show?!"
The trio's eyes went wide as dinner plates as an ALICORN version of Pinkie Pie hopped up, Princess Luna besides her. "Pinkie..." Scootaloo started.
"Pie..." Apple Bloom continued.
"You're a..." Sweetie Belle finished..
"ALICORN?!"
"Yep!" Pinkie answered cheerfully.
"Are you from another universe?" Scootaloo questioned.
"Nope! I'm from this one!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "Well, a little bit in the future. Long story short, I'm stopping some really really bad thing from happening and ascended so I could, but my future self who already succeeded, that's this me, still has some time paradoxes to close."
"So...you're from the future?" Scootaloo asked.
"Kinda. Outside of time really doesn't have past present and future. In fact right now I'm going back in time to create the Wuv Cats!"
"Oh...so...why the Parasprites?" asked Sweetie Belle, mentally telling herself 'this is Pinkie Pie, it doesn't need to make sense' just to keep her sanity.
"Oh! Well you see once Discord turned Breezies into Parasprites, so while I'm in the past I'm going to do the opposite to give some old friends of mine a plausible origin story for season 4 while I'm in the past!" Pinkie Pie said, giving a smile.
"...Okay..."
Scootaloo blinked. "...Cool..." she said, remembering something her friends didn't.
Princess Luna cleared her throat.
"Oh! Sorry, gotta go! And good luck with your show!" Thalia announced.
"Thanks..."
Thalia then somehow put a link in the cameras image.
"That page is still open! Put tropes for this show there!"
Before the CMC could question it, Thalia headed through the portal after teleporting her Wuv Cats somewhere.
Princess Luna looked to them. "...Remember my little fillies, this is ONLY for tonight. Be grateful my sister Rota Fortuna is bending the rules." She then headed through the portal and it closed behind her.
"...You know, altogether, that was probably the most normal thing we've seen tonight," said Scootaloo, the other two nodding.
"Wait!" Applebloom gasped, holding her head to her hooves. "Ah just thought! If we're here! And us are still stuck in that other universe, does that mean we're clones? Copies? Duplicates?! Magical imitation constructs?! Are we even real?! Did any of that even happen to us?! If it didn't happen how do we remember it?!"
"Don't be silly Applebloom, Chryssy said how magical duplicates only live as long as they're needed for what they were created for, then they just silently die and are never thought of or mentioned again like they never existed." Sweetie Belle suddenly paled at her own words.
-
The Crusaders kept walking, with that unsettling thought in mind. "If we went down that same path," said Sweetie Belle, thinking out loud, "do you think we'd find that other Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack again?"
Applebloom shivered. "Ah don't want to go through that again. Besides, we might find another set of us there too!"
Up ahead, lightning flashed, striking the same place several times in a row, and strange colors lit the clouds from beneath, turning them blue and pink and gold. "That looks way more interesting!" said Scootaloo. "Let's check it out!" She took off, gliding ahead of them.
"Hey, wait up!" cried Applebloom, as she and Sweetie galloped to keep up. They went around a bend and down another path, finally bursting into a clearing that made all three them skid to a stop.
A big contraption like a cross between a farm wagon and a pipe organ sat in the middle of everything, humming and sparking with colorful lights. Cables connected it to all sorts of other spinning and whirling contraptions. Off to one side, there was a stack of thick old books, with another book propped open on top. That book had magical signs and symbols all over one page, and Starswirl's mark on the facing page. (Cheerilee had invited Twilight to give their class a presentation on the history of magic last month.)
Applebloom gasped, her eyes lighting up at the sight of all the fascinating spinning gears and steam-puffing whirligigs. Suddenly, she had so many questions in her head... how did it all work, what did it all do... until she saw the two unicorns running this show.
They had the same yellow coats and red and white manes as before, though their manes were mussed and had a few twigs stuck in them, like they'd been living in the woods too long. They wore the matching striped shirts and flat round hats even with no ponies to impress. "Can't you get us any more lightning than that, brother of mine?" said the one with a mustache.
The one without a mustache kept his horn glowing bright green, the beginnings of a scowl on his face. "This would be far easier if we still had a pegasus to do it."
"Perhaps we should have paid him before we fled Trottingham."
"And risk that blue she-fiend catching up to us? I think not!"
Applebloom groaned. "Not the Flim Flam Brothers!"
"Who?" asked Sweetie. She looked to Scootaloo, who shrugged.
"Those are the varmints who nearly cheated us out of Sweet Apple Acres! Hey, what are you two doing here?!"
Flim and Flam jerked their heads towards them, finally hearing them over the racket from their inventions. "What are we doing here?" "Why, it's a free forest!" "It's right in the name!" "Perhaps the better question is..." "What are you fillies doing here?"
-
"Us?" Scootaloo darted glances at her friends before saying, "Oh, nothing. Just looking around, trying to see what weird stuff is going on in the Everfree..."
"And what are y'all doing here?" Applebloom stomped forward on her little hooves to stare up at the two skinny unicorns. "The last Ah heard from mah big sis and her friends, the two of ya were cheatin' ponies that were still afraid o' Changelings."
"Huh?" Sweetie said. "What were they doing?"
"Why, nothing, little miss," Flam said. He tousled her mane, or tried to. Sweetie stepped back and glared as he said, "We were just selling our patented Changeling Detection Lanterns!" His horn lit and a very ornate brass lantern, of the type used to signal trains on Equestrian railroads, hovered into view. A few small crystals clattered inside it. Flim's horn glowed and the lantern lit up, shedding a emerald light that turned everything within eyesight a ghastly green. Flam said, "Thank you, brother dear. Now, if there's some awful love-sucking Changeling nearby, the light of this lantern reveals it!"
"Don't talk like that about Changelings!" Sweetie said. Flim and Flam have her patronizing smiles. Sparks shot from her horn as she added, "I know some, and they're nice! Only a few were bad."
"They tried to conquer Equestria,"
"Hey, why aren't you still selling the lanterns?" Scootaloo said. "I mean, if they can do what you say?"
"Ahem!" Flim coughed and looked innocent as Flam said, "It went just fine until we tried it in Canterlot. I thought Princess Cadence would be an easy mark -- I mean,would see the necessity." He frowned, looking almost like a colt. "How were WE supposed to know that she had those bugs, ugh, working for her? Or that she'd be offended at what we were doing? Trying to protect ponies."
"The papers said she became the new Changeling Queen..." Applebloom began.
"My little dear," Flam said, loftily, like he shared a great truth of the universe, "When you become an adult you swiftly realize that official sources are rarely to be trusted." Brightening, he said, "Besides, we saw the error of our ways and convinced her highness to let us go. And then we started helping Changelings become part of our lovely land."
"How?" the three fillies asked. Applebloom kept trying to sneak glances at the machine, and wondered just why these two were talking about everything but it.
"Why, by starting a dating service, of course! The 'Happy Hooves for Greater Diversity' company, arranging meetings between lonely stallions and hungry Changelings..."
"My big sis told me about that!" Sweetie scowled at the two, who looked unabashed. "They had Changelings pretending to be our big sisters, or other pretty mares, and set them up with stallions who thought they were in love with them. Then they made the stallions pay thousands of bits to 'help them out of trouble' or ransom them back from Diamond Dogs." The three fillies glared
"Now that's a half truth, little miss," Flim said. "We did NOT just take bits from stupid -- I mean lonely stallions."
"We made the Changelings pay too for the introduction to their new dinners. What?" Flam smiled at the angry fillies. "The stallions got dates, the Changelings got to eat, everypony was happy!"
"Uhh, yeah," Applebloom looked at the machine. She approached it, Flim and Flam hurrying along behind. "But, just what is this, an' why are ya trying' ta get lightning all the way out here?"
-
Film said. "Well it all started when we were given a . . . waver on some of our . . . failed business ventures if we placed in a timed safe deposit boxed for each of the Elements of Harmony labeled, 'How To Make Yourself Look Old And How To Fake Your Own Funeral For Newbie Alicorns.'"
"Brother that's SECRET remember?"
"Oh right, please forget you heard that part! AMNESIA DUST!"
"Brother that's just flour."
Film sighed. " . . . I know."
-
"A simple matter." Flim grinned. "But it got us thinking! The possibilities of long term investments!"
"Compound interest!" chimed in Flam.
"Making a killing on the Manehatten Stock Exchange! And since the powers that be aren't exactly lining up to make the two of us alicorn princes..."
"Their loss..."
"We did what they said couldn't be done! We began the construction of..." Each of the brothers tossed his hat and spun it on a hoof, posing dramatically. "Flim and Flam's Terrific Cross-Temporal Conveyance!" A little magic caused a banner to unfurl unnecessarily, with a small spray of confetti.
The three fillies stood there, blinking. "Say what?" said Applebloom.
"It's a time machine," deadpanned Flam.
Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "Oh, is that all?"
Now it was Flim and Flam's turn to stare, slack-jawed. "Is that all?" said Flim. "Is that all!?"
Scootaloo nodded brightly. "We came back in time just this evening, from another dimension. Or was it tomorrow night?"
"Ooh!" Sweetie Belle grinned. "Remember that time with the Doctor's shed?"
"I'd rather not..."
"And the time Twilight went back to the dawn of Ponyland?"
Meanwhile, Applebloom wandered over to another part of the equipment which surrounded a large metal spike in the ground. "Whatever this here contraption is supposed to do, Ah bet it'd work a lot better if you put the gears together right. It's rounding up earth magic for your machine, right?" She snatched a tool off a workbench, loosened a gear, and shifted it a few inches to the left. "Oh, and here too..." She pulled an elastic belt off of two flywheels and put it back on, wound differently.
"Does she know what she's doing?" whispered Flam to Flim.
"I... I'm not sure," whispered Flim back. "Our special talent is being a team, brother. Geniuses we may be, but engineering is hard work!"
Scooaloo flew up, inspecting the lightning rod. "You're not gonna get anything done with puny lightning bolts like the ones you were using. Hang on..." She streaked upwards out of sight, and quickly returned with a puffy cloud bigger than she was.
Flim and Flam gasped. "Hold on, that could be..." "Too much!"
Too late... Scootaloo bucked the cloud, lightning blasted into the machine, and suddenly everything hummed to life and the ground seemed to melt and open up, sucking them all in. The big wagon landed first, thumping to the ground in a forest that was broad daylight instead of nighttime. The fillies and the brothers landed on top of the wagon, causing it to creak and start rolling downhill.
"Behold, science!" cried Flim, triumphant.
"Ah knew we should have brought our crash helmets!" cried Applebloom, holding on tight.
"Nonsense," shouted Flam. "We'll be perfectly..." The wagon crashed to a halt at the bottom of the hill, covering them all in tree sap. "Pffft... fine."
-
"I smell something fleshy and soft!" Came a rumbling roar. A huge dog the size of Cerberus tore through the trees, they turned to stone as they fell from making contact with him, and he left stone paw prints in his way. Rocks with holes for eyes and jagged mouths rolled after their master.
-
"Wh-what is that?" Flim said.
Flam added, "And can we sell him something?"
Crunch noticed them and grinned, looking horrible. "Yes, you have something Crunch wants!
"The machine? The hats? My brother's mustache?" Flim smiled.
"Forget the mustache, it took me a year to grow it!" Flam snapped at him. Then to the giant rock dog, "Oh, but anything else is yours, my good whatever the heck you are."
"Crunch will take this!" The monster snarled as he tapped both of the fast-talking unicorns on the head. Before they could speak, complain, or try one last scam, Flim and Flam were solid stone. The looks frozen on their faces suggested vast surprise.
"Uh-oh," Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom all said at once. They gulped even louder when the Rock Dog turned his gaze on them.
"More soft and disgustingly fleshy ponies?" He jeered, "Now Crunch will make you into stone, too!" The fanged boulders behind him seemed to bounce up and down in glee.
"What do we do now?" Applebloom said. She turned and saw her two friends already running. In a moment she raced after them.
With a howl like boulders grinding together Crunch chased after them.
"We gotta get help!" Sweetie whinnied, "Maybe Megan or Firefly or one of the really brave ponies alive back now! We..."
She gave a yell as she collided with a purple scaly form and both went rolling.
"You found help!" Scoootaloo said. "You found..."
The scaled form stood up with a cough and gave them all an indignant look.
"Hey! What's the big idea?"
"Spike?"
-
Applebloom stretched and squished the baby dragon's chubby face with her hooves. "Whoa. Ya really let yourself go, there, Spike! Just how many gems did ya eat?"
Spike giggled, pawing back at Applebloom. "Cut it out, that tickles! Who are you ponies?"
"Applebloom, this isn't our Spike," said Sweetie Belle. "He's a different Spike from the past."
Scootaloo stared at the pudgy purple dragon. "Wait, so when you were talking about 'brave ponies alive back now...'"
Applebloom gasped. "The machine worked? We're really in the past?"
"You girls are weird," mused Spike. "You remind me of..." His eyes bulged at the sight of the scary-faced boulders bouncing up the trail behind them. "Oh no, who are they?"
"Never mind that now!" cried Scootaloo. "Keep running!" They galloped down the trail, with Scootaloo tugging on Spike until he got the idea and ran too. Behind them, the forest was quickly getting petrified into a rocky, desolate waste.
"Wait, how come you're running?" asked Applebloom.
"What, you think I'm gonna fly off and save myself?" Scootaloo retorted, panting.
"Ain't that better than all of us getting caught?"
Sweetie Belle spotted a cave up ahead. "Girls, in here! Hurry!"
They squeezed inside. The bouncing boulders were too big to roll in after them, but they couldn't get out either, and soon Crunch caught up with them too. "Crunch hates soft!" he bellowed. "Crunch hates cute and fluffy! Come out, and Crunch makes sure you never run away from Crunch again!"
"Hey, I'm not soft or fluffy!" shouted Spike. "I'm a dragon!" He bounced back and forth, breathing a lick of orange fire. "I'll show you... or, I would if rocks could burn..."
Scootaloo shuddered, not liking the tight, closed-in cave at all, and liking the idea of exploring the dark tunnel even less. "It's okay," she stammered, like she was trying to convince herself. "We're fine. Luna's spell will just reset us again..."
"I hope it does," said Sweetie. "We're way back in the past, before she cast it."
Applebloom hung her head. "What was Ah thinking, helping Flim and Flam of all ponies?" She paced, shaking her head. "But that machine of theirs. It was just so... Ah could make it work again. Ah know Ah could... assumin' Crunch didn't stomp it to bits."
"The way he's going on about soft stuff, I don't think he even looked at it," Scootaloo said.
"This isn't right," Sweetie Belle said. "The stories never said Crunch attacked any forest before turning good."
"Maybe that just go left out?"
"What are you even talking about?" Spike asked.
"The good news is that every pony Crunch turned to stone returned to normal after he was made good, so even if he gets us, we'll be back to normal, and won't have to wait thousands of years to be found by our friends," Sweetie said. "Oh and girls, I was serious about making a good pose and you using me for art class if we get 'respawned.' As Button Mash would say."
-
"Hey, what's in here?" Sweetie pointed at a leather satchel laying against the wall. She took a whiff and staggered back, turning green. "Eww! What stinks like that?"
"That's my dinner," Spike said with a sniff as he picked the satchel up. "I dropped it off here when I heard the noise, I didn't want it to be ruined. It's a cheese I made from a recipe book Megan brought with her." He reached inside it and withdrew something that dripped wetly and looked as gray as the stones around them. All three fillies recoiled at the reek from it. Spike scratched his scaly head. "I guess I let it sit too long."
"Stupid soft ponies!" Crunch raged outside. "Come out and I make you stone!"
Applebloom looked out at Crunch and his pack of angry boulders and shuddered. This all reminded her of a story Applejack read to her once, if only she could remember...
"Hey, Spike!" She spun on the little dragon. "Ya don't mind iffen Ah take that cheese, do ya?"
"Huh? Well, sure..." He handed the cheese over. It squelched in Applebloom's hooves. She turned around and grinned as she headed for the exit.
Sweetie and Scootaloo both grabbed her.
"Are you crazy?" Scootaloo said. "He'll turn you into stone!"
"No he wont," Applebloom said, smiling. I hope, she thought, and trotted outside, holding the cheese out of Crunch's sight.
The Rock Dog closed in, his boulders gnashing their stony fangs at her.
"So, disgusting soft pony wants to be turned to stone first, does she?" Crunch's wet cement odor filled her nose, almost driving away the stink of the cheese. He began to reach out with a paw bigger than Big Mac. "Crunch make you stone!"
Applebloom took a deep breath and said in her loudest voice (in fact she imitated Applejack, but she never guessed):
"NOW HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"
Crunch hesitated, and as he did Applebloom held up the cheese.
"Ya see this rock?" Crunch nodded warily as Applebloom said, "Ah'm an Earth Pony, an' that means Ah can control rocks!"
"Lies!" Crunch drew himself up to his full height. The boulders hopped up and down, more agitated than ever. Fangs displayed, Crunch said, "Puny soft pony cannot control rocks!"
"Oh yes she can!" Applebloom said. "Watch me squeeze water right outta this one!"
Crunch bent his head down and stared as Applebloom squeezed with her little hooves -- and liquid splattered from the cheese right into Crunch's eyes. He reared back with a wild yelp.
"No! It not possible!"
"It shore is!" Applebloom said. She stepped forward. Crunch hurriedly took a long step back. "And iffen ya don't leave me an' mah friends alone ta fix our machine back there, Ah'll make YA that soft and squeeze the rock juice right outta ya!"
"Not do that!" Crunch howled. He stepped back before dropping on his belly in a canine submission posture, forepaws held up pleading before him. Even his boulders rolled away in fear. "Crunch will be good and leave nasty-bad ponies alone! Please no make Crunch," he shuddered, "soft!"
"Ah'll think about it while we're working on our machine," Applebloom said, giving Crunch a fierce look. "In privacy!"
-
Once Crunch was out of sight, the Crusaders broke into a gallop, with Spike jogging alongside. "Let's get a move on before he changes his mind," said Applebloom.
"You don't have to tell me twice!" growled Spike.
Sweetie Belle shaded her eyes with a hoof, looking over the rocky, desolate new canyon. "This doesn't look anything like the forest did. Does anypony remember which way it was?"
Scootaloo took to the air, flying high enough to see which way Crunch's trail of destruction went. "This way!"
Sweetie, Applebloom, and Spike made their way through the canyon as quick as they could, even though the bare rock made Sweetie's hooves ache. Scootaloo flew on ahead, then circled back, hovering over them. "I found the machine! ... but it looks like some other ponies found it first." Sweetie and Applebloom shared a look, then pressed on ahead.
As they approached the crash site, a unicorn noticed them first. She was white-coated, with a green and red mane, and five purple maple leaves for a cutie mark. "Spike?" She blinked at the unfamiliar fillies. "You girls shouldn't be out here. There's a dangerous monster on the loose."
"They came from the same direction that the monster went," mused a blue pegasus with a pink mane, and blue and pink whistles on her flank. "It's probable that they have already encountered it. Perhaps they have useful information."
The third pony, a lavender unicorn, seemed oblivious to their arrival at first. "These statues certainly look like Flim and Flam, and this machine is definitely their work... but how on Equestria did they get here?" She flicked an ear, then turned, looking towards them.
All three of the fillies gasped. "Twilight!?"
Twilight's face lit up. "Girls? How... Oh my gosh, you have your cutie marks! How long has it been in the future?" Applebloom hung her head glumly. "Some of you have your cutie marks," Twilight corrected herself, stepping over and giving Applebloom an apologetic nuzzle.
"How's Midnight?!" exclaimed Sweetie. "Is she okay?"
"She's fine," Twilight assured her. "Sleeping back at Paradise Estate with the other newborns. She's a little young to be going on adventures, you know."
Scootaloo buzzed her wings in excitement, and stayed hovering just off the ground like Rainbow Dash often did. "Hey Twilight, how come you never said anything about meeting us while you were in the past?"
Twilight smirked, rolling her eyes. "Well, I would have, but now I probably can't, because you just told me that I won't."
Sweetie and Applebloom glared at Scootaloo, who promptly facehoofed.
"Just like I'm not going to tell you two what cutie marks you're getting when I get back!"
Scootaloo facehoofed even harder, and Sweetie Belle joined her.
Twilight sighed. "Assuming I ever do find a way to get back to the moment I left."
"Oh, that's easy," said Applebloom brightly. "All ya have to do is..."
Sweetie covered Applebloom's muzzle hastily. "Don't tell her that! Haven't we already made a big enough mess?"
Applebloom winced. "But what if she only knew ta do that because we told her? How are we supposed to know?"
Twilight groaned. "This is why I swore off time magic. It's nothing but trouble!"
Meanwhile, Spike waddled over to the other two ponies. "Those girls really are weird. They think they're from the future too! Heh, you should have seen how they handled Crunch, though!"
Wind Whistler shook her head. "Time travel is clearly logically impossible," said the pegasus quietly. "I fear that these over-imaginative girls will only make Twilight's delusion worse."
Gusty frowned. "Hey, don't be so blunt. You'll hurt Twilight's feelings! Not that you'd know anything about that."
-
"Hey, wait," said Gusty. "Weren't those the kids that showed up on the minecart when we were fighting the Smooze?"
"Yeah! That was us!" Sweetie Belle replied.
"Where did you go? We looked all over for you," the unicorn asked.
"Back to the future! Just like we told you!" Scootaloo replied.
"Time travel does not exist," Wind Whistler argued. "If it did, wouldn't we have met ourselves or seen other evidence?"
"Yes it does! We just did it!..." Sweetie Belle said in annoyance. "Only this time was an accident!"
Applebloom trotted over to the time machine. "Yeah, we got caught up in the Flim Flam's weird time thingie."
Twilight's eye twitched. "Those two made a functional time machine?"
"Well we had tah help 'em a bit, but yeah," Applebloom replied.
Twilight turned to Flim Flam's statues. "WHY ARE YOU TWO SCAM ARTISTS?!"
Applebloom blinked, looking to her friends. "She has a point..."
"Maybe they're just lazy?" Sweetie Belle asked.
-
Scootaloo lightly tugged on Twilight's mane.
"Uhh, well," Scootaloo said. "Maybe you can change them back and we can ask them?"
A few moments later, the two conponies were shaking themselves as Twilight's spell took effect.
"Worst experience of my life, brother!" Flam shook himself, and what looked like a few pebbles fell from his mane. "All I wanted to do was stand there and think calm philosophical thoughts, not one single hustle -- hmmph!" He shut up as Flim grabbed his mouth.
"Ixnay on the ustle-hay, brother!" Flim said. He looked at Twilight, the fillies, and the rest of the ponies. "Oh! And, thank you for saving us." He smiled and stepped closer to Twilight and the Paradise Estates ponies. "Always a pleasure to be rescued by a lovely and talented lady... Hmm, you look familiar. Have we met, possibly in my dreams?"
Twilight rolled her eyes and didn't say anything about an unsettling dream she did have once that ended with her a Changeling stuck in the form of a romance novel heroine.
"Actually," Wind Whistler said, "these fillies and the rest of us were wondering who you were, where you came from, and what this machine is." She flew over it and lightly touched it. "It resembles no device I've ever seen among ponies, humans, or any other race. They say," she smiled tightly and pointed at the CMC, "that it is a time machine, which I find doubtful."
"Oh, but it is, madame, it is!" Flim assured her, while Flam added, "Made by yours truly, Flim and Flam, the most clever inventors in Equestria! Makers of magnificent machines, inventors nonpareil, and..."
"A pair of cheats for all their cleverness," Twilight said. Flim and Flam looked quite aggrieved as she quickly filled the 'local' ponies in on what the conponies tried to do to Applejack, with some help from Applebloom. She finished with, "They got in trouble for that, they couldn't do business with any members of the Apple family any more, so now here they are."
"You guys sound like bad news," Gusty said, sounding wary.
"They should be fine," Wind Whistler said, "so long as we remember not to be deceived by them." She flinched back as Flim stretched his neck out and looked her in the eyes.
"Deceived, madam!" His face was the very image of Penitent Remorse as he said, "Why, never! You have barely met us and are taking this confused young lady and three mistaken and biased young fillies at their word?"
"Indeed, brother dear!" Flam added. He set his hat over his heart and, head hanging, said, "Shall not the accused receive a fair trial before sentence? Where is the evidence? The proof? The corpus delicti?" Gusty began to look sorry, and even Wind Whistler softened a bit. "Oh, the cruel twist of fate, to be a stranger in a strange land, with only cruel accusations for a reception... Awk!"
Flim and Flam both froze as a purple glow from Twilight's horn enveloped them.
"It's a little spell I've been working on," she said to the two ponies, three fillies, and one dragon. "It shows the past deeds performed by a pony for others to see." The two conponies began to complain. Twilight silenced them with a glare. "If you guys are as innocent as you say, what's the problem?"
The images began to run...
Flim and Flam as colts, seeing their trusting mother give all her bits to a cheat named Goat Pasture who promised her a share in the famed 'lost fortune of Princess Platinum', just as soon as they could afford a barrister to make Celestia cough the gold up... Pursuing him, not to get the bits back, but to become a part of the scam... Going from working for Goat Pasture into 'business' for themselves, cheating and deceiving everypony they met, even as they made their Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, and using for a crooked attempt on the most profitable farm in Equestria... being false friends to everypony while privately regarding everyone they met as a sucker to be fleeced.
They smiled nervously at the mares as the images faded.
"Megan told us about people like this in her world," Wind Whistler said coldly. "But I never thought I would see ponies sink so low." Flim and Flam looked at her pitifully. She started to turn away but kept watching them.
"Wow, these guys really were jerks to everypony," Sweetie said. She scowled at them as sternly as she could. "I bet Chrysalis would have liked them, just for that."
'We know!" Flim said, casting himself at the CMC's hooves before more could be said. "Oh, dear filly, we've been such awful, awful ponies!"
"We never had a good example, is all!" Flam said, dropping and holding Twilight by her forelegs. The purple mare sought escape as he said, "It was all the wickedness of unjust Fate, cursing us with such base natures! If only somepony could trust us enough to give us a chance to make an honest living, I'm sure we'd surprise them!"
"Not to interrupt, or anything," Spike said, flinching a little as everypony looked -- or glared in the case of Flim and Flam -- at him, "but what happened to Crunch and his rock monsters?"
Twilight Sparkle said, "I'm trying to stay out of history's way . . . "
"Is that why you didn't restore Buttons after Crunch touched her?" Gusty asked grimly.
-
Twilight sighed, a guilty expression on her face. "You don't know how hard it's been sometimes. Because I'm a scholar, I knew a lot about your adventures before you had them. I knew that Crunch was going to be a problem, but I also knew that everyone he turned to stone would be cured. If I'd fixed everything myself, then you wouldn't have gone on this adventure, or become better friends... or learned that Wind Whistler does care and have feelings."
Gusty frowned sharply, but Wind Whistler rubbed her chin with a hoof. "It does present an intriguing moral dilemma, if one accepts the premise of time travel. Is it better to avoid hardships, at the cost of losing the experience of overcoming those hardships?"
Twilight nodded. "In my time, there's a legend about a wolf."
"A wolf?" asked Apple Bloom, remembering how her sister and her sister's stallion friend had turned into wolves, and dang it she *was* going to get to the bottom of that, sooner or later.
"A... a wolf?!" echoed Sweetie Belle, thinking of Blanky.
"Yes," continued Twilight. "The wolf hunts down creatures who try to cheat Fate, and then it gobbles them up, erasing them like they never existed in the first place."
Sweetie Belle gulped, shuddering.
Twilight smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Sweetie Belle, it's only a story... but it does teach us that it's not wise to mess with Fate too much. I wouldn't have even come on this trip, except..." She blinked. "Except, the Moochick insisted that I needed to come. Huh. Have I been underestimating him this whole time?"
Flim magically shook some moss and gravel out of his hat, then crammed the hat back onto his head. "Well, that's very nice for you and all." Flam chimed in, "And as tempting as it would be to start fresh in a land where *very few* know of our past deeds..." "These faerie tale simpletons probably haven't even invented money yet! So..." "If you don't mind, we'll be getting ourselves out of your hair!" They sighed in unison. "Just as soon as we fix this blasted machine!" "Again!"
Gusty was still giving Twilight a mistrusting look. "If those two are such bad ponies, should we really let the kids go flying off in that machine with them? Or do you know how that all turns out too? Maybe I should have asked if *you* have any feelings, Twilight."
Twilight didn't answer out loud... instead, she motioned silently, towards the machine. Spike was asking Sweetie and Scootaloo all about the Spike of the future, by the sound of it, but Applebloom had slipped away to join Flim and Flam."
"Mr. Flim, what does this do?" she asked brightly.
"I'm Flam, he's Flim," grumbled the brother with a mustache. He had a wrench in his magic, fastening down a crystal that had gotten knocked out of place in the fall. "And it's a mana oscillator. It.. you know, oscillates mana."
"What about this one?"
A sigh. "Starswirl spell engine."
Applebloom stared, wheels turning in her head. "Ooh... and this?"
"Kid...", said Flim, "if you're going to be underhoof, be useful at least. Hoof me the samoflange."
Applebloom trotted over and dipped her muzzle into a toolbox. "This one?" she said, talking around the tool in her mouth.
"Oh, for... A samoflange, I said! That's a crescent wrench!"
She tried again, putting out a gizmo so complicated, it was hard to tell what it might do, if anything.
Flim blinked. "Uh... thanks. I guess..."
Applebloom trotted in a circle around the machine, pausing at a metal cable. "This doohicky here..."
Flam glanced over, distracted from wishing they'd packed some fresh suits. "Geothaumal conductor."
"Yeah, that! See how frayed and burned it is? Ya ought to put a thicker cable in, like..." Flam levitated a heavier-gauge cable over, and Applebloom brightened up. "Yeah, like that!" She snatched it out the air and started installing it herself.
Flim paused in his work, staring. "Jeez, kiddo, who's teaching who?"
Flam trotted over to stand beside him. "This feeling, brother... I don't understand it at all."
"Indeed!" said Flim. "She's not a mark, or a dupe, or a co-conspirator. She's a good kid, though. I just..." Both of them spoke together... "I like how she appreciates our work."
Flam shook himself. "Clearly, time travel has addled our magnificent and cunning brains."
Flim nodded vigorously. "Clearly, brother!"
-
"FIXED!" Applebloom said.
"Applebloom!" Twilight said. "How did you fix a TIME MACHINE with no replacement parts built by somepony else and that shortly?!"
Applebloom shrugged. "Me and my friends once built a time machine out of stuff we found and stuff we borrowed from Dr. Whooves' junk yard. It's not like we've done one before."
Twilight groaned. "Time travel was supposed to be scientifically impossible. And now I find not one but two built? This as bad as Pinkie Sense."
"What's that?" Spike asked.
"Don't ask."
Wind Whistler and Gusty for a rare time shared a moment wondering if these ponies were all crazy or if stranger things were ahead of them.
"Girls, it's been great knowing all of you, but I think it's time for me to go! And Midnight. Don't worry about Crunch, will, REALLY worry about him, but I know things will turn out okay, unless things DON'T turn out okay because I made you think that things COULDN'T turn out NOT okay, ugh!"
The Flim Flams wanted to leave this era as soon as possible, but Twilight was NOT leaving without Midnight. Twilight felt guilty about leaving them, but felt the sooner she left the better.
Twilight found little Midnight at the block house like nursery, with Ember looking over the baby foals.
Twilight only said she was going back where she came from with her friends. Most of the ponies thought Twilight was maybe crazy, but friendly and didn't mean any harm.
Ember and Twilight shared a hug.
"TO THE FUTURE BROTHER!" "TO THE FUTURE AND WERE ECONOMICS HAVE EVOLVED TO A DESIRABLE LEVEL!"
Twilight holding Midnight hopped onto the machine along with the CMC and the Flim Flams. And the machine was engulfed in a tunnel of colors . . . and collided with a familiar blue shed.
Twilight and Midnight were knocked off.
"OH NO!" Sweetie Belle shouted trying and failing to grab her with her magic.
"Don't worry, she makes it back home safe remember?" Applebloom said.
~~
"Twilight! It's been years! We've had so many adventures while you've been gone! Actually things have been really quite lately. And Midnight is . . . still in diapers?!"
"It's . . . only been a few seconds for me Ember . . . looks like I'll be finding my own way back. At least I know I will, because I did."
"And you still talk crazy."
~~
Where the CMC and the Flim Flams found themselves however, looked like Ponyville . . . maybe a little.
"What's that big crystal castle doing in the middle of Ponyville?" Scootaloo asked as if any of them would know the answer.
Flim and Flam looked around, Canterlot now reached all the way down the mountain to Ponyville . . . with no real design differences between the two. The town itself considerably more modern . . . What with the glowing light crystals and illusionary constantly changing picture images.
All around them were the main pony tribes . . . and hippogriffs, and weird zebra-unicorns, changelings of every color combination, butterfly winged ponies, little fairy ponies, fish ponies moving around in floating globs of water. And ponies made of crystal, other ponies made out of rocks, ponies made of icy-wind (it was bright and Sunny Day), and bat ponies, ponies made from shadow and smoke, and many others.
And . . . The fillies looked at the sky. Cloudsdale was gigantic compared to how large it had been before, but light shinned through it without leaving a giant shadow on the ground . . . like it had a mini-sun underneath it.
"Is that Octvia, Vinyl, and Lyra? . . . " Sweetie Belle said. "WHY ARE THEY ALICORNS?!"
Applebloom said. "After the Council of Friendship ascended, Princess Twilight Sparkle realized that the new magic she had created was a gift to be shared with Ponykind, and ponies began to line up to take the trial."
"Thanks Applebloom."
"Ah didn't say anythin'."
"But Ah did. Ya girls are right on time! Oh, and hi Flim Flam, it's great to see you again."
The fillies turned to see . . . an adult Alicorn version of Applebloom, a dress covering her flank and cutie mark.
"Hey girls!" The Alicorn grinned. "Okay, what did I say next? Oh right! That! Ha! Anyway girls, Alicornhood is no longer exclusive to Royalty, Celestia said that with Alicornhood's doors open, having so much royalty wouldn't be a good idea. There's now MANY of us."
In front of the giant crystal tree/castle was a alicorn speaking to a group of foals.
"And that is how I defeated Queen Dark Crystal, and brought the shadow ponies into the Equestrian fold." Said a pink Alicorn with a strong resemblance to Cadence, except her eyes were blue, and her cutie mark was different, and she wore different regalia.
A purple stripped zebra with a horn looked up with an old book. "Priness Skyla, it says here that the Umbra Ponies actually fell into insight with Queen Red Crystal gone, and it took decades to peacefully integrate them into the Crystal Empire."
"Well! If you want to get technical! Dark Crystal would have stopped anything like that happening! And I was still able to do without Mom's, I mean Queen Cadence's help, and please you can call me Auntie. I'll have you know it only took 19 years for the Umbra Ponies' be recognized, so it wasn't "decades" plural, and-"
"-But it was still decades before they all-"
"Do you want a first hoof account or not?" Underneath Princess Skyla was now a familiar soap box that had appeared out of thin air.
Princess Applebloom laughed. "Heh. Little Skyla."
"Excuse oh so beautiful and intelligent divine incarnation of an adorable and intelligent filly, would you find enlightening us with some future stock information?" Flam asked.
Princess Applebloom grinned. "Oh we live in a currency free economy now. Money technically still exists, but its kinda pointless since we can now magic up anything from nothing from any type of pony magic, and we've unlocked the source of unlimited energy."
"What's that?" Applebloom asked herself not expecting an answer.
"Hugs."
"I KNEW IT!" Sweetie Belle declared.
"NO CURRENCY?!" "NO MONEY?!" "WHAT A TERRIBLE DARK FUTURE THIS IS!"
"So, let me guess, 1000 years?" Applebloom asked looking up at herself and trying to sneak a peak behind her dress.
"1000 years. Suffice to say, there are now a LOT MORE immortal Alicorns in Equestria now."
"Council of Friendship?"
"Princess Amicita, Princess Thalia, Princess Vertias, Princess Gaia, Princess Lucia, Princess Fidelitas."
"Gaia! That's Fluttershy!" Applebloom said. "But that means . . . are the others . . ."
Princess Applebloom just smiled and nodded. "Then there's Princess Anasi, and-"
"THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!" Flam declared. "Besides how a money-less society would implode upon itself in fire and grinding of teeth and the wailing of innocents, how can there be so many Alicorns without the masses being oppressed?! There are oppressed aren't they?"
"No they aren't." Princess Applebloom said matter of fact. "Princess is just a title now anyway. Celestia retired with a big fat pension even if she still raises and lowers the sun."
"What about Luna?"
"Excuse me, have you heard the good news?" Asked a pretty, naked bat pony mare of the Flim Flam brothers, hold a pamphlet that read 'Luna's Witnesses.'
"She's still Princess Luna." Princess Applebloom said.
"Praise be the creator," said the Bat pony politely.
-
"Wait, brother," Flim said. "We might be able to get something out of this," he whispered. "Miss Applebloom, you said the way to Alicornhood is open to everypony?"
"Yeah, the DOOR is open," Alicorn Applebloom said. "Just ask Princess Amicitia in her castle."
"Thank you, sir," said Flim, bowing. "Come now brother!"
Applebloom gasped. "Yer gonna let those two become alicorns?!"
The Alicorn if Applebloom chuckled. "Just wait a little bit..."
. . .
A few minutes later, the Flim Flam Brothers staggered over, looking singed. "What...why..."
Alicorn Applebloom chuckled. "Did yah hear meh when Ah said trials?"
"Yes, but we didn't think you meant literal ones..." Flam muttered.
"Do yah see everypony bein' Alicorns?" she asked. "Many don't mean easy! And it's been a thousand years!"
Applebloom blinked. "Huh...Ah hadn't thought of that either."
Alicorn Applebloom nodded. "Yeah, yah see Twilight opened the doors, but the path ain't as easy as ponies think."
"Does everypony's involve fire breathing dragons?!" asked Flam.
"No, but the ponies who wanna be an Alicorn just tah get power typically get a lot worse trials, though they ain't ever gonna kill yah," the alicorn replied. "But point is: ain't one pony ever became an Alicorn because they wanted just the power of one! Ain't ever happened!"
"...Well, this future is officially one I don't want to stay in," Flam replied.
"Eh, yah might change yer minds, or yah might not want tah live tah see this, can't tell yah," Future Applebloom replied. "Lots of ponies don't want tah be gods, lots of ponies just wanna be able tah do what makes 'em happy or makes others happy."
"So ponies can become Alicorns, but some don't want to?" Sweetie Belle asked, blinking.
"That's about right," Alicorn Applebloom explained. "Then there are those who want to be immortal gods because their loved one became an immortal god."
"La-la-la-la-la!" Flew Alicorn Bon Bon overhead.
"Yer kidding!" Scootaloo said.
"Well," Princess Applebloom said, "Ponyville a thousand years ago WAS set up by Celestia as a hotbed of Elements of Harmony, oops! You shouldn't think about that last bit."
"We shouldn't think about that last part." The ponies repeated, it making perfect sense to them.
-
Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle had wandered off by herself a ways, amazed by everything... the people, the music in the air, the magic... so much ambient magic, it made her horn tingle. Everything was so perfect.
"Maybe too perfect," she mused to herself, as she politely moved to let a literal school of seaponies and their teacher glide past. "We've been tricked before, like that time with Somnambula..." She groaned. "But why can't something that seems nice just be something nice, for once?"
She paused at an intersection, gawking at the Carousel Boutique... or at least, it was about where Rarity's shop had been, and it sort of resembled it, even if this Carousel Boutique of the future was big enough to be a castle in its own right. She would have gone to check it out too, only someone had hung up a banner blocking the way, with "Spoilers, Sweetie!" written on it in large elegant cursive letters.
"If only there was some way to *know* that all of this is for real," mused Sweetie, after she'd pouted a bit. "I could go talk to that Princess Amicitia... or I could try some kind of illusion-detecting spell, if I knew one." She blinked, then grinned. "Or maybe..."
Sweetie lifted her empty-seeming saddlebag in her magic, then prodded at it with her hooves. "Blanky, are you still in there?" Nothing. She closed her eyes and tried feeling around and inside the bag with her magic. Come on, Blanky, she thought, where are you?!
A voice seemed to chuckle in her head, deep and growling, but not in a mean way. "I hear you, pup. There's no need to shout."
"Blanky? I..." Sweetie opened her eyes and froze, staring at white paws bigger than her head, then looking up and up at a white wolf that managed to loom over her even sitting down. He had golden eyes, and the ruff around his neck had grown out long and thick, like a beard.
Sweetie sucked in a deep breath and screamed! "Eeek! Stay back! Don't eat me!" She took off running as fast as her little legs would go. "Help! Wolf! Somebody help!" The little unicorn kept running until she exhausted herself enough to start wondering why she wasn't getting anywhere, and how come the city was all grey and nopony was moving, and why the Wolf was lounging in the street, inspecting his claws, instead of chasing her. "Um..."
The Wolf smiled, keeping his fangs hidden. "Are you done?"
"I... I guess," said Sweetie. "So, you're not going to eat me?"
The Wolf leaned over and sniffed of her, inhaling deeply. "My, your fate has grown tangled. But no, I'm not going to eat you, pup." Like magic, the world filled with color again, and everyone started moving once more, going about their business.
The filly blinked several more times. "You're Blanky, all grown up? There's so many questions that I want to ask!"
"And I can answer so few of them," said the Wolf, sounding genuinely regretful. "Spoilers."
"I'm starting to hate that word," grumbled Sweetie Belle.
The Wolf started ticking off items on his claws. "This future *is* truly what it seems. I cannot say whether it is *your* true future. You may call me Blanky. It isn't time for you to learn my name, not quite yet." He reached his thumb-claw. "I *am* the wolf Twilight spoke of so long ago, but these days I mostly just train the pups."
"Pups?" asked Sweetie, wishing she'd brought something to write all that down.
A moment later, she wished she hadn't asked, because *four* big wolf pups hopped right out of the shadows and pounced her playfully, sniffing and nosing. Each one of them had orange fur with a purple mane. The big white wolf smirked. "That one troublesome worldline had such a surplus of new wolves, they had to be spread around somewhat." He scratched his chinfur thoughtfully. "Those imps will try to talk Flim and Flam into taking the draconequui trials. Run along, pup. You don't want to miss that."
-
"That sounds fun...wait...DRACONEQUI?! Like Discord?!" she asked in a panic.
"Oh come now, my dear, it isn't that bad anymore."
Sweetie Belle turned around and backpeddled in panic from the form before her. "DISCORD?! DON'T TURN ME INTO A DOLL AGAIN!"
Blanky stopped her. "Sweetie Belle, calm down. Discordance is no longer evil...anymore..."
Discord puffed out his chest proudly. "That's right, I'm reformed," he said, swirling around and suddenly in red spandex, purple underwear, gloves, and mask, and a purple cape, a CG in a yellow circle on his chest. "Have been for a very long time."
Sweetie finally stopped hyperventilating. "O-Okay. How did that happen?! You're Discord!"
Discord chuckled. "Spirit of Chaos, Sweetie Belle. Even if I COULD give you spoilers, I wouldn't. Just know you either have Princess Gaia or Princess Thalia to thank for that."
"Or?" Sweetie Belle asked, blinking.
"Depends on the timeline you're from. I wouldn't be Discord if there was only ONE way for me to become a good guy, would it?"
"I guess not...So, what do you do now that you're not a big dumb meanie?"
"Oh, well you see the problem with a lot of so called utopias is they become so stale and static!" the Draconequus announced with disgust. "So my government supported job is to shake up the status quo and keep that from happening!" he said, producing a snow globe with the words 'Status Quo' in it and shaking it up until it read 'New' somehow. "Speaking of which, I believe I need to go..."
Discord produced a wheel with various random things on it. Sweetie Belle noticed that none of them were actually bad. Just stuff like making a volcano erupt root beer floats.
Discord spun it. "Wheel of Chaos, turn turn turn, what upside down should I turn?!...Give Manehatten a snowday with icecream snow! The kids will love that!"
"...I wish I lived in Manehatten."
"Well sometimes I do it in Ponyville," Discord said. "Now, back to your inquiry. Not to be confused with Inquisition," he said, suddenly holding a very confused little hippogriff before teleporting her back. "Yes, Draconequi. After my lovely little daughter managed to become a pure Draconequus, my family has started accepting candidates. Not many have managed it."
"Oh..."
"But I do have a little brother out of it, and it turned out my sister Ispita was hanging out as a zebra and has fully awakened (though she doesn't know it's her true form, don't tell her, it's a surprise!)."
"Okay..." Sweetie Belle said, confused. "...Well, I'm glad you're not evil anymore."
Discord smiled. "As am I and so are both of My Mothers. Now off to work! Oh! And do remind Odyne to drink her exploding bitter chocolate milk for me if you meet her!" he said, then teleported away.
"Wow...I guess the world really is a lot better..." Sweetie Belle said, blinking. "Discord seems...happy..."
-
"Draconequi trials?" Sweetie asked, her eyes wide.
Back with her friends:
"Oh, but it's easy," Fluttercruel said to Flim and Flam, grinning crookedly. A pair of little red-coated, horned and pitchfork-toting little orange pegasi with purple manes and tails hovered nearby, snickering behind their hooves as Fluttercruel added, "All you have to do is want to become an -- inharmonious part of reality, and we give you the chance. Like greed, or the joy of outwitting others," Flim and Flam's eyes lit up at that as she said, "No fussy morals, no need to make nice with others. Just you and your role in creation. Forever." The last part was muttered under her breath with a nasty gleam in her eyes.
Flim looked around. His eyes shone as he saw a certain shop nearby.
"Stall her, brother dear," he muttered to Flam. "I'm going to pick up a little something to make our lives at home more comfortable."
He trotted off to the shop as Flam spoke to Fluttercruel.
"Ah, why of course, madam!" He moved to stand beside the draconequus and set a comradely foreleg over her shoulder. The imps flew closer, grinning toothily. He shuddered. "Tell me more -- and can't somepony hang up some pest strips or something?" He tried shooing the imps away.
Inside the shop, Flim spoke to the lovely white-coated blue-maned alicorn mare with the printing press cutie mark behind the counter.
"Yes, sir?" She said in a soft and husky voice. Her eyelashes fluttered innocently at him. Flim gulped ad forced himself to remember what he came in for.
"My dear lovely lady," he said, leaning on the counter. "I'd like to, oh, get a few books for one of my nieces." He pointed at Scootaloo and Applebloom outside. "On the history of Equestria's technology, the location of gold strikes, and maybe one or two on all the winning hoofball and pegasus race competitors for the past thousand years."
-
"Hi girls, did I miss anything?" Sweetie Belle asked, trotting over.
Scootaloo and both Appleblooms were eating magically generated popcorn as Fluttercruel continued to talk to Flam.
"I have to do what?!" Flam asked, looking at swarm of shadows the Draconequus had in a sphere.
"Eat ALL of these Shadows of Existence, it's a vital part of becoming a Draconequus," Fluttercruel explained.
"...What do they taste like?"
"Oblivion," Fluttercruel replied.
"Fluttercruel's scarin' the horseapples outta of 'em," Applebloom replied, giving a chuckle.
Flam was relieved when Flim returned. "Um...n-no thank you miss...I don't think becoming a Draconequi is for us..."
Flim showed the wares to his brother, unaware that the seller flashed a toothy grin with orange glowing eyes the moment he turned away and teleported in a flash of purple light.
The Alicorn that ACTUALLY owned the shop returned the next moment, looking rather vexed at having been asked to loan her store to Temptation to con two time traveling cons.
"Suit yourself," said the Draconequus with a shrug.
"Odyne, may I ask what is happening hear? Nothing too drastic I fear."
"Eh, just teaching some power seekers a lesson."
Sweetie Belle's eyes went wide as dinner plates. "Kifuko?"
She turned to look, seeing a Zebra Alicorn who's barding was a mix of Zebrafrican styling with typical Alicorn styling.
-
"What!?" exclaimed Flim, trying to keep his voice down. "You turned down all that power because she wanted you to eat something icky? What are you, four?"
"But brother, you didn't see those shadow things," insisted Flam. "They were..."
"Yes, yes, whatever," interrupted Flim. "You keep an eye on those fillies and Princess Stripy-pants, while I handle the negotiations."
Flim trotted down a side street, glanced around all shifty-eyed, then ducked into an empty alley. "So tell me, what does it really take to get all that phenomenal cosmic power? Let's make a deal!"
"A deal?" purred a voice. Instead of Odyne, the "shopkeeper" from before appeared in a flash. "Very well."
Flim froze. "You? You were..."
Ispita laughed musically. "To become the god of trickery... nay, to embody trickery and become Trickery itself, you must be pure and devoted to that concept."
Flim gulped, knees shaking, but not running away. "Not a problem, ma'am! When it comes to schemes and tricks, I'm your pony... and my brother, of course. Would you like us to sing a song about it? We've got just the ditty..."
Ispita conjured two magical globes, floating them towards Flim. One of them swirled with cosmic lights... fear, imagination, chaos, all that primal power. But the other globe showed Applebloom's innocent, smiling face. "I just need you to trick someone."
Flim gulped. "Certainly... Not a problem... anypony you want..."
"Not anypony. Applebloom." Ispita leaned closer. "I want you to wait for her to perfect your machine, then get the patent and take all the credit. Make sure she knows that you're the one who ripped her off. Tell everyone what a liar she is, when she tries to tell them the truth! I want you to break her little heart!" She grinned wickedly. "With a smile on your face. And never regret it."
Flim hung his head and let out a long, heavy sigh. "Buck you, lady. No deal." He turned and trudged away, looking for something to slam his head against, or some good hard cider, whichever he encountered first.
Discord appeared in a flash, waggling a finger. "Temptation! Was that a devil's bargain I heard you offering?! You know I simply cannot abide that."
Ispita still stood there, seeming mildly surprised. "I expected him to decline, but not so quickly." She gave Discord a conniving grin, kneading her hooves together. "Interesting!"
-
"Kifuko!" Sweetie Belle hurled herself into the zebracorn's forelegs, hugging her around the neck. "It's so good to see you. Hey!" She found herself floating at arm's length before the confused zebracorn.
"Little filly, you must have me confused with another," she said. She cocked her head to the side. "You seem to act like I was your mother. You remind me of an alicorn I knew... ?"
The little filly's next words made her eyes go wide.
"Kifuko, It's me Sweetie Belle! And it's so great to see you again!"
Kifuko absently hugged Sweetie close, her horn glowing as she instinctively 'tasted' the little filly's sweet love. The zebracorn looked at Princess Applebloom, only now noticing the small filly beside her.
"It's a long story," the alicorn Applebloom said. "And when she comes up for a breath, tell her that her other friend is over there with some of Tartarus' imps."
Nearby Scootaloo was staring with wide eyes at the two other 'hers', both of them dressed in cartoon-devil style red longjohns, with horns and packing pitchforks.
"Wait, why do a pair of devils from Tartarus look like me?"
"Because we are you, silly," one said, looking at Flim and Flam and locking her teeth. Scootaloo shuddered to see inequine fangs filling her mouth.
"Yeah, we can't say too much or Discord's dad would get mad at us," the second one said. "But when or if you see Manacle again, ask her and she'll tell you." She grinned evilly at the two conponies. "I'm so hoping we get to see those two again someday."
"But how can you be me?" Scootaloo shuddered. "I mean -- you're devils! How can you torment the lost souls of Tartarus?"
"Easy," the first one said. "We just fly up behind them and make like this."
Before anypony could do anything, she flew over to Flim and Flam, her 'sister' beside her, and with a skill born of centuries of practice drove the sharpened tips of their pitchforks into the most sensitive spot on their flanks.
-
Unfortunately, several centuries of use would take their toll on anything, including a devil's pitchfork. The heads of both the tiny weapons snapped clean off as they were jabbed forward, and -- while Flim and Flam still jumped -- it was a far cry from the pain that the imps had been intending to inflict.
"Oh come on!" The first one shouted, throwing her useless stick to the ground.
"The warranty just expired on mine!" The second one pouted in the air.
"Yeah, I have that effect on things."
The scoota-imps, Scootaloo herself, the still slightly sore Flim and Flam, and the draconequi turned toward the speaker. He was yet another draconequus; this one with the left forehoof of a camel, the right forepaw of a ferret, the back-left leg of a cheetah, the back-right leg of a warthog, a rat's tail, and a pair of reindeer antlers atop his head. "Hey, everybeing."
"Swirl!" Fluttercruel practically glomped him, nuzzling his cheek as a blush formed on his face. "What brings you here?"
"Oh, the usual; sensed a lot of plans in motion in one area, figured I would make sure they don't go off without a hitch or ten."
"Eh?" Flim spoke up. "What's this about plans and hitches?"
The draconequus looked over the two con artists for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, suppose you two wouldn't know me yet." He cleared his throat. "I am Vortex Apotychía Brak Shippai." He took a small bow, then suddenly shifted his form into that of a pegasus as he stood back up. "Though I usually prefer Coffee Swirl, if you don't mind."
Scootaloo blinked a few times. "Aren't you Fluttershy's coltfriend from the coffee shop?"
"No, I'm Fluttercruel's coltfriend/lover/potential husband. Her mom and I only really have a passing friendship." He shifted back into his draconequus form. "And also, the concept of failure. Which probably doesn't bode well for our relationship."
Odyne playfully bopped him on the head. "Oh hush, we've been doing just fine since you took the trials and ascended. You just like being cynical."
"It is kinda my job to be, hun. I have to think of all the possible ways things could go wrong, then make sure at least one of them does." He suddenly plucked one of books Flim had recently purchased out of his saddlebags. "Like, for instance, this way." He opened the book and held it up to the two conponies.
"..."
"..."
"Brother, please tell me you can read this."
"...I can't."
It would seem that, in 1000 years, though the spoken word remained relatively unaltered, the written word had undergone several significant changes. So, to Flim and Flam (and to Scootaloo when she hovered behind the two for a better look), the book was basically full of gibberish.