Sombra:
"Sombra?"
Uh...?
"Sombra, you have my permission to wake up now."
What?
"Oh come on, you can't be that deep of a sleeper."
I wish I was a deeper sleeper.
"Should I get another rain cloud? I'm sure there's one nearby-"
"No, dammit! See, I'm awake, no rain cloud needed!" I cry, opening my eyes only to see that Luna was looking down, her face hovering mere inches from my own.
"Hi," she offers.
I think it would be best if I stopped breathing for a little while, I think as I try to stare anywhere but directly into those entrancing eyes while holding my breath.
"You're cute when you sleep."
Is there a proper response for that? If so, it eludes me right now.
"Don't worry, Sombra. I wasn't watching you for long, just an hour or so."
"I see," I eloquently offer, feeling quite disturbed internally but refusing to let that show.
"Are you planning to get up anytime soon?"
"Doesn't the adventurous youth normally kiss the slumberer to wake them?"
She pulls back, mane flowing so it almost hides her face and most of the cabin wall. "Well... I just needed your help with something on deck, that is all."
I sit up and shoot her a wary look in hopes that she'll back up a bit. "What do you need my help with?"
"I was clearing the sky for when I raised the moon, and what I took to be a mere rain cloud was a storm cloud."
"And? What happened?"
"I'm afraid lightning happened, Sombra."
"I slept through this?"
"Apparently," she says, rolling her withers slightly so her mane is pushed to the side - her equivalent of my apathetic, casual shrug, I presume.
"Did anything break?"
"The wheel did. Well, it didn't break, per say. It is but a pile of ashes now."
"How are you supposed to steer?"
"Sombra, I'm sorry. It was an accident-" she begins, backing away with a touch of shame in her currently forlorn expression.
"Luna, I don't care if you did this on purpose, I just want to know how you want me to fix the ship when the wheel's been reduced to ash."
"I cannot think of a spell to piece what has been lost to fire like that back together. We are going to be drifting for a few days unless I summon a few winds to buffet this around, and change direction every now and then with my magic, following the stars..."
Luna puts a hoof to her muzzle, looking contemplative. "Do you happen to be good with building things?"
"I have at least five hundred years worth of lost technology off the top of my head, and hundreds more texts on magitech and forgotten enchantments memorized. Luna, I've not only got the capacity to recall texts I've read once-through but am, in fact, living eldritch knowledge in one way or another."
Luna is silent, looking even more thoughtful than usual.
"A demon," I mutter, clarifying the last part.
"You want to build a new navigation system. Why?"
"Aren't I allowed to have any fun?"
Luna rocks back and forth on her hooves a few times, giving me a happy-go-lucky closed mouth smile, eyes shining. "Could I help?"
"You know these ships better than me, don't you?"
"Yes, and I presume you want me to direct you to the repair materials on board as well?"
Not in the mood to be fully moving just yet, I rub the sleep from my eyes with a forehoof before transforming the metal bands into armored boots with a smooth click-click and lazily teleporting next to her side, but not too close. "That would be helpful, but I imagine that what I've stored in my pocket dimension will be much more interesting."
Luna blinks. "Do you mean...?"
"You didn't presume that I just read about technology, did you?"
Luna gives me a broad smile. "I cannot say I have ever presumed much about you, Sombra."
Thank you. "We have work to do, don't we?"
...
With lighting being her element, Luna was very lucky she was able to control the stray blast just enough so half the ship wasn't in the same sorry state the wheel was in. We stood like some kind of odd mourners around the Sky Scraper's wheel, with gazes that clearly showed something calculating within both of us. For me, since I can't observe my own gaze, I've always thought that it would show whatever wicked fire that I feel when I solve problems like this, problems that beg for invention, cunning, exploitation, and lots of potential.
For Luna, it looks like sparks of eccentricity and an intriguing blend of wonder and wisdom in her eyes, which have had that cosmetic she wears removed, so now I can see the cat-like irises gleaming under a canopy of stars as she conducts her own careful analysis of the objects lying around us, courtesy of me.
An array of common gears and altered ones were scattered around us, along with wrenches and scraps of metal and bolts I had obtained from repeated entries - none of them authorized - into scrapyards. Other more specialized parts to build things like levers and even a few primitive - but still unusable - magic-assisted engines. All of them were 'liberated' from various instruments and ponies across the various areas that make up southwest to central Equestria. That 'business' family I often did errands for had certainly picked up on my love of strange contraptions and kindly relieving others of things they couldn't use themselves. Often what I gathered were little downgrades of things held to be lost long ago that never should have been in the hooves of idiotic peasants in the first place.
Luna was an ingenious weaver of spells and odd solutions to anything I lacked the trinket to fix, but she didn't understand the 'tech' part of magitech like I did. Her invaluable mastery of classical arts made for an excellent companion in conversation when she couldn't find much else to do. I enjoyed listening to her when I messed with gears, wires, and metal etched with her bold calligraphy, which was so neat that the runes she carved on plates and shells looked as if they had belonged there all along.
With the aide of my shadow form, I was able to slip through the ship itself, and with her melodious voice telling me for the fifth time that I can't keep getting stuck in the walls any more, we managed to make something much better than the wheel could be. Our two straight days and nights of work paid off. This was remarkable, considering so few ponies alive today even heard of what we did in the legends they grew up with, and I managed to be around her without some mood overtaking me... for the most part.
She stood near me, looking at the neat mechanism in place of the wheel on deck. It bore some resemblance to the brakes of a train, but was much sleeker, and considerably more complex than its bulky predecessor. Ornately carved brass and silver made a nice base that had been welded together by the more precise side of Luna's lightning magic. The levers were of my own making - crooked rods that had been connected to the various systems I had to construct alone, tempered and straightened by fire with a fraction of the heat I had used to roast Onyx.
Between the half a dozen mismatched levers was a small table-like pedestal with a hollow in the center and runes carved in the space that was left from me forging the shape.
It was a shape that had an uncanny resemblance to a spade on a card's deck, and not by accident either.
Luna looked at me, holding a somewhat damaged locket. The silver heart was worn, and even dented from the most recent events it had witnessed, but the compass protected by ancient enchanted glass still worked. That was what mattered. When Mac had died when wearing that locket - Heart's Desire - I had picked the thing up and stowed it away in my saddlepacks. It had been much worse off than when I had found it, but when it comes to skills I'm a jack of all trades, so I was able to fix a silly necklace without much of a problem.
This was the same silly necklace that I kept pulling from its safekeeping every time I had the chance, knowing that Mac wasn't looking, even though I always knew where it would point, and who the destination would be.
One day, on our way back to Equestria - her homeland and a place I had never been - she caught the slightest glimpse of me holding the trinket, and looking up out the stars as I did every night.
She told me to keep it. I said I'd keep whatever I wanted, and that a sugary airhead that can't even prevent her own death should think twice before she tells me what to do, because even though I may be the Right-Honourable Lord Sombra I would, if I really wanted to, cut out her candy golem innards and hang her with them if she so much as thought about telling me what to do again. We didn't talk much after that, not until we had arrived in Canterlot and she insisted I was made a noble, even though I wasn't a citizen of Equestria, nor did Mac ever think to bring me into the country legally. Celestia certainly never bothered to ask where I came from, and if I actually qualified as a citizen of her nation.
But there was no way in Tartarus I would be able to touch the locket like Luna is right now, not when I knew where it would be pointing. I only watched as she lit her horn and affixed the locket to its designated hollow. There was a soft light emitting from the joined locket and rune, the same turquoise as Luna's own aura. It shone softly, highlighting the Goddess of the Night softly, like the otherworldly beauty she was. Her own moonlight blended with it, and she looked more vibrant than any painting could be, but most of all, it was impossible to miss her smile.
And I knew I couldn't go on like this for much longer. After all, I barely feel like myself- or at least my usual self - any more.
I did feel like this restricted from her once before, and it was so much worse. But it was also the best, because it never mattered that there wasn't much of anything around me and that it was cold as could be. Who cares that I couldn't even manifest then? Certainly not me.
I am Sombra and I loved her then.
I still do.
...
The soft click of a lever shifting into place echoed behind me. In passing days both Luna and I found the navigation system that we built together to be doing its job well. There was no longer a wheel that needed to be monitored most of the time, and the ship could go much faster and Luna no longer spent all her time on deck. I often caught her in the halls, humming as she pored through a book or two from the library while I avoided her, exchanging as few words as possible.
And I hated doing that.
Yes, I was avoiding her. I really didn't want to, but it was the only time I was able to think somewhat clearly, and that's exactly what I needed to do.
I'm not staying away from Luna because I feel that I care about her less upon finally meeting her. It's quite the opposite, really. I've watched myself sputter around her simply because I can't just blurt out something like that to her. I knew that she was very sensitive, and even a bit of a hothead, from my first encounter with her literal ages ago. Now that I've been able to observe her, I can see that the description fits her, but there's something going on in her head that's beyond what I'm able to observe. It's some kind of anxiety, at the least and that's only going to make it harder for me to tell her. She hasn't considered my lack of conversing with her worrisome, thank goodness.
I just have to find a way around the fact that there's going to be the possibility of my bluntness triggering her anxiety, which would not be something I want her to go through. The only problem with this is that my resolve isn't going to hold out against her before I just blurt this out.
She's neither completely aware or utterly oblivious to how we're both drawn to each other, which means that if I'm to tell her anything on the subject I'm going to need the clearest possible mind and the shortest possible time frame to do this.
Luna's just as fragile as she is tough - it's as plain as day to a manipulator like me. She shines more than any other equine I've met. She's an honest individual, a rarity that I'd never thought I'd find unless I were to look in a mirror.
It's not about what I say to her, the message is going to be quite clear. Me declaring this is inevitable, I've stolen so much since I've returned and I couldn't be prouder of myself.
But now, what I'm going to say matters more than ever to somepony external of myself. Somepony I love much more than I love myself.
From the moment I was created, I was me, and if that entailed anything it meant that I was different from the indistinguishable sheet of white that was everypony else. I was not a mere blank canvas waiting to receive features by another's dictation. I was the ink: the gateway to potential, the bold lines that defined themselves and everything around them, shading a landscape that would be worth nothing otherwise.
But if anypony really thinks that I'd allow myself - or Luna - to seriously be compared to ink, than they are even greater fools than I give them credit for.
I am the artist and I have found another of my kind. I made my story, and she made hers.
Just like how things must have been for her, our words and all else external of ourselves would have been deemed so unbearably worthless, just as indistinguishable from everypony and everything else.
And the two of us - even before our paths had yet to cross - made our names something more than a scrawled label to distinguish one thing from another. Her and I made our own divergent paths a place to put our hooves rather than something that we would follow without question.
Along came inspiration and over a millennium ago, I believe the only two artists in the world saw the face of one another and we never forgot who we saw.
It's not what I say that is going to matter - that was determined a long time ago - but how I say it.
...
Luna looked out at the ocean, her form was mostly shadowed even though the night was clear and the stars gleamed in the sky brighter than any jewel could ever be. The air was a bit too warm for my tastes, and even though we were at sea I could still feel fall in the air, no doubt carried over from the Southern Continent, whose shores weren't so far away.
It's hard to say that the seclusion Luna and I had was anything I'd trade away, although land would be nice when all I could see was water and and sky. Thankfully, whenever Luna brought forth the night, the latter overtook the former. The sunlight she accused me of grumbling about - and not incorrectly either - was gone, and the view of the sky was certainly worth it. There were reasons I always tried to have the sky visible. Heck, combined with the glorious lack of ponies I was enjoying myself, even if there wasn't much to see.
Although, I still missed pizza... and maybe a few other things.
Luna's eyes shone with starry reflections and inspiration. Her wings had barely settled from her brief flight to raise the moon. I can still see feathers fluffed up from her flight and stirred by the winds when they would normally lie sleek and smooth when her wings are properly folded.
She props her head up casually with a hoof, leans on the railing and sighs. "So how did I do tonight?"
Luna is busy examining the stars glittering above, but I'm looking at her shadowed form and her dark mane. Watching the lively ripples it makes can be soothing.
"Out of ten?"
"Yes, as with every other night," Luna says, clearly unfocused as she stares into the heavens. I catch the white gleam of a smile, if only for a moment.
"Ten out of ten," I say, my eyes never leaving her.
The smile returns, but isn't as brief.
"Oh," she murmurs, as if the single sound could contain the excitement I can detect in her tone. Like the rest of her, Luna's voice makes it harder to guess her age, since it can contain the stoic maturity that has always been more than faux elegance and contains a quality I can't describe as anything other than enchanting. There's also the mirthful youth that makes her so warm and much more than endearing to me. I love it when she says my name. Even with knowledge of how Alicorns age - including the age of Luna herself - she has always struck me as a youthful sort of ageless compared to her sister, who I find so earthly in comparison.
Not just earthly, dull. Severe and much like a secular institution that sprouted legs. A relic. Call her the opposite of what she is commonly held to be, and you'll have the truth in some form.
"Where do you live, Sombra?"
"Canterhorn Mountain."
Her eyes brighten. "Really? That close, and right under the muzzles of Tia and I? Perhaps I should pay you a visit when this journey has ended!"
I snort at her reply. "Did you just call your sister 'Tia'?"
"It's been her nickname for the longest time Sombra. Do you think I was born able to pronounce 'Celestia'?"
"I'm not sure. The exact speech capabilities of ponies at such young ages, much less Alicorns."
Luna is nearly doubled over with soft giggles that any other soul would think fit a cheeky filly than a grown goddess, but I don't think there's many other ponies - if any at all - who would know her.
"What's so funny?"
"It's, well... would you be mad if I told you?"
If she told me what? "Why do you think I'll be mad, Luna?"
She starts to play with her mane, combing the thick mass of blue with her forehooves. "You are very aware of how others view you, no?"
"Luna, you don't need to be so cautious with me. Out of everypony I've met, you're the most considerate and accurate with your guesses about me, and don't think that simply being tactful or thoughtful means you can't speak freely around me."
Luna blinks and ducks her head to get a better look at the ocean. I hear her mumble something, but do not catch what.
"What was that?"
She speaks just a little louder.
"Luna, I've had you shout at me before. You're capable of being much louder than this."
The third time, she jumbles all her words together on purpose and is barely audible.
"Jeez Luna, I'm going to go deaf over here if you keep screaming like that," I say, voice flat and only barely amused with her current antics.
"You're cute!"
I... what? Did she just...? But... I... me... WHAT?!
"No! Not like that, not you... but the way you act. How you talk, the things you say, your quirks. That's it."
"You do realize that 'Sombra the Cute' doesn't have much of a ring to it?"
Luna couldn't hold back her laughter on that one. It rang out loud and true, clearer than the night air around us both.
"I told you it wouldn't make me mad."
...
"Do you remember which one that is, Sombra?" Luna asks, pointing a forehoof to a cluster of stars that don't seem so far away from up here.
"Virgil...?"
"Virgo."
"And are you sure that is last of the ones you remember off the top of your head?"
"Yes, Luna."
There was a short pause between us before she speaks again, the stars shining behind her so her shadow is cast on me.
"I thought about what you and I discussed, that many generations of mortals are just repeats."
I conjured a small prism of äerint and drop it over the rail, knowing that I'll never see where it falls. "Any thoughts you want to share on the subject?"
"You certainly aren't wrong."
"I think you'll find that I'm hardly ever wrong."
Another pause. She fidgets with her mane again. "Do you think Cadance falls in that cycle?"
"Why her in particular?"
"She's your friend, isn't she?" Luna plucks a few strands of purple from the edge of her mane and lets them follow the crystal, drifting in the wind.
"Yes, she is my friend."
"Do you consider your friends peers?"
"Not really. I don't exactly seem to be somepony who has found an equal, do I?"
When Luna bites her lip I know something's up - the faint ripples her magic sends out, short momentary disturbances in her power are a signal of nervousness - and that there's something she has to say.
"What am I to you?"
I...
Well...
"Please Sombra, answer as honestly as possible. We've spent a lot of time together and I still... I don't know what you really think of me."
...this is it.
"Sombra? Are you well? Your expression - Sombra you look faint," Luna says, turned to me her eyes full of concern while I can't hide how nervous I'm feeling, and just take in the sight of her, relieved that my confidence is still somewhere in my mind.
"I love you."
There's three words. I've finally spoken them after a millennium, I've said them to her face...
Her face that shows fear...
No.
...so much fear... and sadness... panic... everything that shouldn't-
Just no-
"...Luna?" I ask, voice no longer as direct as it had been a moment ago. I sound apprehensive and hoarse.
"Y-You... No, Sombra. Sombra you don't."
"Luna, what do you-"
"You don't love me. Please." Why does it sound like that she's trying to convince us both? Why is she pleading? I've never wanted her to plead with me. Why do I feel lighter than before, but so much worse? Why does the world feel like it's falling apart? If I feel like my heart's been crushed, why do I feel it racing?
WHY DID I BOTHER TO SAY ANYTHING?!
Why did I have to?
The sound of a slamming door brings me back to the agonizing the present, and when I blink briefly my eyes are dry - a leftover instinct from what could have been a lifetime ago right now, for all I cared. I see her running towards the door and the slam echoes for a second time.
Luna.
With a single name I have to remind myself to move, to do more than just stand there almost paralyzed like a mirror of what happened all those years ago.
It feels horrible, galloping over to that door so fast that I skid to a stop in order to keep from crashing into it. I grab the handle with my hoof an twist it so it makes an unusually hard click from the force I'm applying.
...And then I feel the magic that envelopes the door and the exterior of the navigator's office. A shield coming from within.
I light up my horn in a blink, not caring that the amount of aura I have is unnecessary to teleport and dark magic isn't used for teleporting like this.
Within a second, I'm gone...
...only to reappear right where I started.
I grab the door's handle again, pulling with only force, because I don't care if I break the thing down. As long as I don't let my magic combine with my strength and temper, everything should be fine.
Fine. Right now, that word is vile, and feels like a buck to the ribs.
It's locked.
No, there's absolutely no way-
"DAMMIT LUNA, OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!"
The door wasn't budging.
"I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!"
Unless she cast a noise cancelling spell...
I try to loosen up for only a moment, just to sense some of the more precise nature of any undisguised spells, and damn... there's some sort of muffling spell.
"Luna? We need to talk, I didn't mean to scare you."
Unbearable silence.
"Luna, could you just - oh gods... you don't think," I swallow at the thought, eyes widening.
"...I know I have a temper, and you heard me screaming, but Luna I'm not mad at you. I'm not going to hurt you."
There's still no answer.
"Luna, I would never hurt you."
Just answer. Give me a sign, something.
"Is there something you need to talk about? Why did you react that way?"
Anything at all, Luna.
"Do you hate me for telling you?"
Do you want me to disappear?