For a Few Bits Noir
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Applejack strained herself against the cuffs behind her back. The mare with the barreled weapon had aggressively pointed it at her until she agreed to cuff herself and get in the carriage. Now she sat in the back with her sword up front and the strange mare in the front seat as well, her hooves on a round wheel as she somehow drove the carriage forward.
“Okay, Ms. Yearling,” Applejack said as politely as she could. “Ah know this might be hard to believe, but Ah’m not a thief.”
Yearling snorted. “That’s what any thief would say.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ah’m tellin’ you, Ah didn’t know those ponies. Even if Ah did, why would Ah just be in the middle of the street with them firin’ those… things at me.”
Yearling raised an eyebrow which Applejack saw in the mirror above the window. “Things?”
“Yeah, those… bang bang whiz whoosh things. Like one of those you have but bigger.”
On the road a metal box with three lights hung above them and Yearling stopped when the gray light changed to another gray light. Seriously, this monochrome was starting to get annoying to her. She took this moment to turn around and face Applejack. “Are you talking about my gun?” She pulled it out from the side seat.
“Yeah, that’s what they’re called,” Applejack said hesitantly.
“Have you seriously never seen a gun before?”
“…maybe.”
Yearling stared at her scrutinizing until the lights changed and she went back to the road. All was silent for a moment until AJ spoke up again. “Say, are you movin’ this thing?”
Yearling hit something with her foot below the seat and the carriage stopped in kind. She guided it to the side of the road and turned back to her. “Do you not know how a car works?”
Applejack gave a blank expression. She made a snap decision. “Do… do you?”
Yearling stared at her again and opened her mouth to respond but she stopped. “Touche.”
“Look, Ah’m really not a bad pony. And if this were any other time Ah’d even offer my assistance with your whole robbery thing. But Ah’ve got to find mah friends as soon as possible and they might not even be in this wo-” she stopped herself before she could say something she might regret. Other worlds and interdimensional glitches? If she brought that up without proof she would look crazy. She didn’t need that added to her rep.
Yearling simply narrowed her eyes at her for another long time and then shrugged. “Look, you seem sincere. But I still need to take you in.” She pointed to the sword on the seat beside her. “I categorized that artifact myself and if those ponies stole it tonight and you picked it up then I still need to take you in as a pony of interest.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Ah thought you said you were an archaeologist?”
“I am,” she replied. “I just… tend to get swept up in a lot of other affairs time to time.”
“Well, can you at least take these cuffs off?”
Yearling sighed. “Alright, alright. Hold your horses.” She reached back and unlocked the cuffs from behind her. Applejack rubbed her wrists lightly. “Better?”
“Yeah.”
“Then let’s just go back to the museum and-” The sound of shattering glass stopped her and she screamed. All the windows of the car blew out and the roof caved in as if a weight had landed on it. Applejack looked out just as a hoof shot into the car window and dragged her out through it. “Wait! No! Shit!” Yearling grabbed her gun and scrambled out of the bent driver side door, kicking it open. She stepped onto the road and waved it around looking for whoever had attacked. The sound of flapping wings in the distance caught her ear and she looked up. Silhouetted against the moon were a pair of bat like wings that vanished around a tall building.
Yearling lowered her gun in amazement, her mouth agape. “What in Faust’s name was that?!”
Flutterbat set Applejack down on top of a smaller building. The mare wrapped her arms around AJ in a friendly hug of reunion but she wasn’t too happy. “It’s good to see you too, Flutterbat, but Ah gotta get back there. That mare still has mah sword!”
Flutterbat rubbed her hooves together bashfully. “Sorry.”
Applejack sighed and petted the mare’s mane affectionately. “Don’t fret over it. You were just tryin’ to help. You did a good job keepin’ in the shadows. Really Ah should have seen you comin’. It’s mah own dang fault Ah lost it.” She walked to the edge of the building and looked out. It was the dead of night though the sky gave her the feeling it was always like that here. Sure enough, everything was black and white. Not a spec of color besides some sepia tone. It gave the whole place an older feeling, despite the tall buildings and devices. Guns and cars. Two things she might have to get used to if Pinkie wasn’t with her in this world.
“Did you see sign of anyone?” Flutterbat shook her head. “Ah guess were on our own then.” There was a moment of silence between the two. Flutterbat looked dejected. “Now don’t fret,” she tried to comfort her. “Just cause the others aren’t here doesn’t mean we’re lost. Mare Do-Well and Pinkie are pretty capable. If anypony can find us, they can.” Flutterbat looked a little better about that.
“Meantime we gotta get mah sword back.” She rubbed her chin. “That mare said she was takin’ me to the museum. Did you see anythin’ like that?”
Flutterbat shrugged. “What’s museum?”
“Oh, right. Ah guess if there was just a robbery there then it would be the place with the most hoof traffic. Spectators tend to gather around crime scenes.” Flutterbat’s eye brightened and she smiled enthusiastically. “Alright then. Let’s go there. But keep it low key.” She grabbed AJ from behind and flapped into the night once more.
A few minutes later they set down on another building. Just below them was another street but this one was filled with more cars, gray lights spinning above them silently. The only noise below came from the various ponies in uniforms standing around and setting up taped off barricades. They were sitting in front of a large ornate building with colonnades in front of the doors and banners displaying pictures of exotic relics and weapons with the subtitle, “Artifacts with a Story”. Applejack waited a moment before a familiar car with a smashed window drove up. The mare driving kicked open the door angrily and then slammed it behind her. She stomped up the white stone steps and pushed past the cordon despite the protests from the uniform ponies. Applejack looked back at the car and smiled. Lucky enough, she forgot the sword.
“Flutterbat,” she whispered. “Take me down there.”
Flutterbat nodded and they glided down from an alley, unseen by the ponies near the steps. From there they sprinted across the street and pushed their back to the other side of Yearling’s car, out of sight.
Applejack gripped the car door and pulled but it refused to open. She tried again but it made a scraping noise and she stopped before it made more. Flutterbat sat silently in wait for Applejack when her ears perked up. Applejack tried the door one more time but Flutterbat tapped her shoulder. “What?”
Flutterbat pointed past the car and to the top of the steps a few dozen hooves away. Yearling had removed her long cape and revealed a green suit underneath. Her glasses were also gone and she spoke harsh words to the uniformed pony that seemed to be in charge of the investigation. But what surprised Applejack was her mane. It was still gray to be sure but with those streaks, Yearling almost looked like... “Is that Rainbow Dash?”
“I keep telling you, Miss Yearling,” the uniformed pony said, “this is a crime scene and you can’t be here. Bad enough you tried to go after those thieves on your own but now your impeding our investigation.”
“What investigation?” she asked angrily. “I tracked those jerks for two miles and have a busted up car with a perforated wheel to prove it! You idiots just got here!”
“Watch your mouth or I’ll have you arrested for harassing a police officer!”
She smirked. “You’re not the one that got back one of the stolen goods. I believe I did that.”
The officer raised an eyebrow and smiled suspiciously. “Yes, the katana, right? Well, it just so happens that the Ringogatari, as you put it, isn’t on the museum’s list of stolen artifacts.”
Her eyes widened. “What?! Let me see that!” She pulled a clipboard from one of the officers passing by and looked it over.
“Seems the great Daring Do just made a mistake,” the officer smirked.
She gave him a glare and stormed into the building. “I need to talk to the director!”
Applejack listened to the whole conversation before turning back to Flutterbat. “You think that’s another version of Dash?” Flutterbat shrugged. She decided to leave it and went back to the door but it was already open. Her eyes widened and she opened it fully only to find to her horror that the sword was gone. “Dammit! How’d it just disappear?”
“Looking for this?” Both mares turned to see another mare dressed out in a gray overcoat and fashionable belt. The hat she wore was like Mare Do-Well’s but sleeker with a ribbon around the band. She tossed the katana between her hooves measuring the weight. There was something familiar about her too.
“Give that back!” Applejack hissed, still trying to keep her presence hidden from the police. The mare frowned before smirking and tossing it to her. Applejack caught it and hugged it close. “Th… Thanks.”
“No need, darling,” the mare said with a wave. “It’s obvious this belongs to you anyway.”
Applejack looked confused. “How so?”
The mare stepped forward and pointed to the sword and then Applejack. “It’s got your mark on it.” Sure enough, the three apples that made her cutie mark were also on the hilt of the sword. But how did she know her cutie mark. Applejack looked at her back and found her hakama riding up and revealing her flank. Probably from all the flying with Flutterbat. Her face turned red and she pushed it back in place.
The mare then turned to Flutterbat who had nowhere to run, though instead of fear her eyes widened in amazement. “My, my, you are something extraordinary!” She circled her looking up and down. “Bat winged ponies. Just when you think you’ve seen everything.”
Applejack and Flutterbat looked at each other uncertain. “You seem awfully fine for seein’ somethin’ like her.”
The mare waved a dismissive hoof. “In my profession, you have to have an open mind.” She tipped her hat up to reveal more of her face. “Shadow Spade, private investigator, at your service.” Her long eyelashes blinked lusciously at them.
Applejack got another sense of déjà vu from this mare. “Well, Miss Spade,” she said as she grabbed Flutterbat and began backing away. “Ah’m much obliged for gettin’ this out without alertin’ those guys but we’ve got to get-”
“You!” Yearling stomped down from the air on her own car and pointed to the three of them. Shadow looked up lazily and smiled.
“So nice to see you, Daring Darling,” she said.
“Don’t give me that!” she shouted. “Just what are you doing here? And you,” she pointed to Applejack, “I still need to talk… to…” she stopped as her eyes fell on Flutterbat. “…What is that?”
Shadow ran around and put her arms around the two in a friendly manner. “Oh, I see you already know each other!”
Yearling shook her head to clear it after seeing Flutterbat. “Bat winged pony aside! This doesn’t matter!” She pointed to Applejack. “You have a lot of explaining to do!”
“Me?”
She shoved a clipboard in her face and pointed to a picture of a sword eerily similar to her own. “Why do you have a perfect replica of the Ringogatari?”
“Oh Daring, is that all you can ask our friends?” Shadow asked with a grin.
“Stop calling me that! Daring Do is done! I’m not that pony anymore.”
“QUIET!” everypony froze as they all looked to Flutterbat. The mare glancing nervously around her as she just realized the mistake she’d made.
Officers from around the entrance to the museum looked out and saw them all. “Hey, what is that?” one said. “Is that a giant bat?!
Shadow lifted her hat again as her horn began to glow. “I think this calls for a change of scenery.” Suddenly a long sleek car skidded out of a corner and drove towards them. It stopped just in front and Shadow stepped inside the empty driver’s seat. “I suggest you get in.”
Cops were pouring down the stairs and Applejack saw she had no choice if she wanted to keep Flutterbat safe. “Argh! Fine!” she hopped in the passenger side door and Flutterbat in the back.
“Wait!” Yearling jumped in the back as well. “I still have things I need to ask you!”
Shadow stepped on a pedal below her and the car jolted into life once more, speeding off into the distance.
The cops stopped at the bottom of the stairs and aimed their guns at the departing car but the commanding officer waved his hoof. “Stand down! You’ll cause a riot with gunshots this late.”
“S-So what was that, sir?” an officer asked.
“Hell if I know,” he replied.
“Word is that… thing is back in town,” another murmured. “Maybe it belongs to him.”
“You mean the guy with the weird tail?”
“Yeah.”
The commanding officer chewed his lip thoughtfully. “If he is involved then it makes sense why Daring Do would be a part of this.”