//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: Screwball Mio Amoré // by Warren Hutch //------------------------------// A smell somewhere between the pungent contents of a spice cabinet and the musty, heavy scent of earth and dead leaves drew Button Stitch's consciousness up from the dreamless abyss. This was not good. Those sorts of smells meant she wasn't at home in bed, but somewhere where she probably shouldn't be. Someplace not quite up to her usual standard of cleanliness. It felt like she was lying on something like a bed, but what she was lying on felt like fur. This was also not good. Either she was on top of some impossibly huge, oddly flat animal, or she was laid out on an animal hide, the kind that came off of a dead animal. The very idea of the latter tugged hard on the panic levers in some deep part of her herbivore's psyche and would have sent her immediately into hysterics were she not a cautious and methodical pony in an unfamiliar, possibly dangerous situation. Being cautious and methodical, she decided to perk up her ears and listen before filling the air with screams. She could hear an unfamiliar voice chanting softly in an unknown language. She could hear crackling flames, and the faint sound of water or some other sort of liquid bubbling. At the edge of hearing, she could hear low voices in serious conversation. Some of them sounded familiar, which was probably a good thing. But why would familiar ponies be in this unfamiliar place? And why did her mouth taste like wyvern, she wondered, smacking her lips quietly. And also, how in Equestria did she know what that would taste like? Button took the next methodical step and opened her eyes a crack. This gave her an orange blur and no shapes she could easily recognize, so she decided to go for broke and opened them all the way. A leering wooden mask stared down at her, its nightmarish curves and angles outlined in flickering firelight. Her caution, hanging on by the tip of a single metaphorical hoof, barely kept her panic from letting loose the very non-metaphorical scream that it was working on, instead opting for her to just let out a strangled little squeak and turn her head to get a slightly better look at her surroundings. The fur rubbed on her cheek, and in her peripheral vision she could see ruddy gold with black spots. Her wide amber eyes took in a cave like chamber with a chaotic jumble of bottles, gourds, and bundles of dried herbs hanging from the ceiling in a scene right out of the scary part of a fairy tale, the part where the evil witch would be about to cook up some hapless colt or filly for not listening to their mother and taking the long way to grandma's house. Of course, in the stories, some ridiculous contrivance, or odd bit of luck, or a friendly woodcutter would drag the foals out of danger. Being a practical, adult pony, Button knew these old stories weren't completely true. Although here was the scary witch's den part right before her eyes, so perhaps  the colt or filly getting away was the part that wasn't accurate. This was very, very much not good. Sure enough, there was a pony sitting in a cauldron over a bed of red hot coals right there in front of her. Deep in her psyche, her caution turned to her panic, shrugged its metaphorical shoulders, and said. "All right. Go ahead. Give it everything you've got." The resulting full throated shriek galvanized all of the ponies that lingered in Zecora's hut. Fluttershy let out a startled squeak and dove under the low table where she, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack were enjoying cups of fragrant tea and sharing a plate of edible mushrooms, walnuts, and wild raspberries. (With the majority of the latter going down the pink mare's ravenous maw and staining her snout a faint purple.) Rarity gasped and lost her magical grasp on a mahogany curry comb that she was running across Zecora's still drying coat, now restored to its proper distribution of black and white with homespun towels wrapped around her striped mane and tail. Rainbow Dash gave a cry of alarm and started to thrash, flap, and kick in her greenish tinged bath, rocking the cauldron full of warm, soapy water. Only their hostess' timely intervention, leaping up from her rattan bath mat and bracing the tottering cauldron with her hooves, prevented it from toppling over and spilling its contents, both liquid and pony, onto the hard packed earth floor. Rarity, Twilight, Pinkie, and Applejack raced to the side of Zecora's leopard skin festooned bed, where Button Stitch lay curled into a twitching, hyperventilating little ball with wide, glazed, staring eyes. The fashion designer reached out to her with a tentative, alabaster colored hoof. "B-button dear..." The beige mare's voice came as a ragged edged squeal. "DON'T TOUCH ME! STAY BACK!" Rarity waved her companions back and knelt down by the bed, keeping her sapphire eyes fixed on the frantic earth pony. "It's all right, darling. Everything is all right. You're safe." Button pulled her legs in tight, her whole body trembling violently. "I have no idea where I am, what has happened to me, or even what time it is. I'm lying on a dead animal skin in a filthy witch's hut and there is a pony cooking in a pot right over there. IN NO POSSIBLE SENSE OF THE TERM IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT!" The unicorn heaved a careful sigh and sat studiously still, speaking in a low, soothing tone. "Button. Look at me. Do you know who I am?" The stricken earth pony bit her lower lip and stared back at her a while before responding. "You... you look like my... you're my f-friend and best customer Rarity." The fashion designer nodded slowly. "That's right." She inclined her horn toward her three companions. "And do you recognize my friends here?" Button's eyes darted across the other mare's earnest faces. "Um... I... I see Twi... Twilight Sparkle from... from the library, and... and Miss Applejack with the grandmother who crochets, and..." The faint ghost of a smile flitted across her lips. "P-pinkie Pie. With the parties." Pinkie Pie gave a few short hops into the air. "Good job! You guessed every one right!" The beige mare's face took on a dreamy quality. "I... I liked those parites." She let out a halting sob. "Es-especially the one where... where I m-m-met hi-hi-hi-him..." The four solicitous ponies' ears levered back as she let out a wail and broke down, gathering the leopard skin in her front hooves and weeping a torrent of tears into the tawny, spotted fur. A moment later Twilight and Applejack were shoved aside by a determined looking yellow pegasus, who climbed up onto the bed and settled in next to Button, throwing a wing over her trembling shoulders and pulling her into a hug. Fluttershy was generally the first pony under cover when the screaming started, but she was always the first on hoof to give comfort when the screaming turned to weeping. She cooed softly to the stricken pony in her gentle voice. "There there. You're among friends, and we're not going to let anypony hurt you." Meanwhile, Applejack's brow furrowed in confusion and she leaned in toward Rarity, speaking in a whisper. "Who's "him"? Him who?" The alabaster unicorn flipped her mane and hissed back. "Davenport. She was supposed to be on a date with him tonight." Twilight arched an eyebrow. "Davenport? As in Davenport my writing quill supplier?" Pinkie nodded as she gave a little hop. "Yeah! I always thought those two made a super cute couple! I've got a standing bet with Gummy that they'll be married by the next Summer Sun Celebration." Rarity threw a glare at the pink pony and drew a hoof across her lips in the universal gesture for "zip it!", and then turned to the weeping mare once more as Fluttershy nuzzled her cheek. "Button, what happened? Did he do or say something to upset you? Did he behave inappropriately?" A stony expression settled on Applejack's face. "Do ya need me t'send my brother 'round t' learn him some manners?" Button sniveled bitterly into the leopard skin. "N-no. He was a p-perfect gentlecolt. It was me who ruined everything. I messed the whole date up, so I ran away." The alabaster unicorn's eyes went wide. "You ran away? AGAIN?" She brought a hoof to her face and muttered under her breath. "I knew I should have hoofcuffed the pair of you together." She reared up and placed her front hooves on the bed, leaning in toward her distraught friend with a pained expression. "Button, darling, why DO you keep running away? You're clearly quite taken with him, and he with you, from what I could see. What are you so afraid of?" Applejack spoke up before Button could answer, a grave expression settling on her freckled face. "She's afraid of herself. Ain't ya, sugarcube? Yer so scared o' doin' th' wrong thing that y'all balk at doin' anything unless it's all lined up like beans in a bean field. And when it's somethin' as big as bein' courted by a stallion that ya fancy, it's sure t' cause ya a whole heap o' consternation." Fluttershy's gentle voice filled the pensive stillness, as she shifted a bit and spread her wing a little wider over the beige mare's shoulders. "I... I know what that's like. Being afraid that I'll say or do the wrong thing, I mean. That's why I get... well... I get nervous around other ponies. Well, that and sometimes they talk too loud, or move too suddenly, or are wearing a larger hat than I expected. Sometimes I want to just run away and hide, and that can make me feel sad, like I'm missing something special." Twilight Sparkle took a step forward, a solemn expression on her face. "I think I understand now why you had another manifestation of your chaotic self." Button looked at her with red rimmed eyes. "But... but I've been trying so hard to be spontaneous and do new things." The lavender unicorn nodded. "Yes, but like Applejack said, deep down, doing that terrifies you. You clearly had a lot invested in things going well with Mister Davenport, and it threw you into such turmoil that chaos overwhelmed you when it didn't go as you'd hoped." She settled down next to Rarity and laid her hooves on the bed as well, meeting Button's troubled gaze with earnestness. "I'm no stranger to that sort of feeling myself. Try living up to to the example set by Equestria's immortal ruler as her personal pupil. I've pushed myself past the edge more times than I care to mention because I try so hard to please her that I keep forgetting one all important fact." She went silent for a moment, her eyes gleaming, before she continued with a slight crack in her voice. "And the thing I keep needing to be reminded of is that Princess Celestia is a wonderful, patient teacher, and that she's been my mentor since I was a little filly. In... in a lot of ways she's like a second mother to me, and she... she loves me, like she loves all ponies, for everything they are. And our flaws and mistakes are as much a part of what we are as the good qualities." Rainbow Dash stepped up to join the others, rubbing down her sodden rainbow mane with a towel. "Yeah, and that counts for your friends too. I never leave my friends hangin', even when they screw up. Especially not then, 'cos that's when they need me the most. And on the extremely rare occasions where I might be a tiny bit off my game..." At this, Applejack cleared her throat and fixed her with a dubious glare. The multicolored pegasus gave an embarrassed chuckle and fidgeted under her earth pony friend's stern gaze. "... I mean, when I screw up too, I know they're not gonna leave ME hangin'." Pinkie Pie's face was uncharacteristically solemn as she chimed in. "That's right! And ya gotta trust in that. One of the worstest days I ever had was my last birthday, when I fooled myself into thinking my friends didn't like me anymore 'cos they were sneaking around and telling me fibs about what they were up to 'cos they were trying to keep my surprise party a secret." She tapped her berry stained chin with a hoof as she shifted into a reminisce. "Looking back on it now, I think I had it all figured out, I mean after all I'm the prime poobah of pony parties and I also get this tingle in my pancreas when there's a party afoot, or a hoof, or a whole bunch of ponies each with four hooves apiece, but then I ignored all the signs and forgot about it 'cos a surprise party isn't a surprise party if you've figured out you're gonna have a surprise party." Her limpid blue eyes snapped back into focus and she gave Button a wide grin. "The main thing is that I didn't trust my friends to be my friends and it tended to send me around the bend but in the end a friend is a friend upon whom you can depend and soon everything was on the mend." As the pink party pony nodded sagely to herself, Applejack raised an eyebrow and leaned in to speak to Button in a lowered voice. "Didja get any o' that?" The beige mare blinked and cocked her head, a fair bit of uncertainty in her voice. "I... I think so." Rarity edged forward and stretched out a hoof, laying it atop one of Button's. "The point is, darling, that unless my instincts are wrong, which I very highly doubt, Davenport would very much like to give you his heart, but he can't do that if you refuse to accept it because you've convinced yourself that you don't deserve it." Her sapphire eyes sparkled as she gave the beige mare a fond smile. "It's up to the giver to decide who deserves what they're giving, you can't make that decision for them. All you can do is decide whether you want it, and if you would like to give your heart in return." Button gave her a fragile smile. "I w-would. I really, really would." The hopeful expression fled from her face as she looked at the row of ponies standing in front of her. "But... but how can I even THINK about that now? Y-you all look like you've been run through a wringer. What did I do tonight while I wasn't myself?" Her voice became frantic. "What did I do?" Rainbow Dash finished drying her mane and draped the towel across her wings and withers with a nonchalant shrug. "Nothin' a bath couldn't fix. We're cool." Applejack gave the pegasus a wry, sidelong smile as she spoke to Button. "Ya taught her a valuable lesson 'bout chargin' on ahead of the rest of the group too." She looked away innocently as Dash scowled at her. Zecora stepped up between them with a mildly reproachful look on her face. "An apology would be a very good start, for turning me into a bad piece of art. I'll blame it on stress, and gladly forgive, the things you just said about the place where I live." Button recoiled a bit under Fluttershy's wings. "Did... did I paint all those stripes on you? Oh, that's terrible. I'm so sorry!" A brief look of indignation flickered across the zebra's face, before she hung her head with a sigh and muttered something to herself in weary Zebraic. She gave the earth pony a strained smile. "All right, all right, that's close enough, for a pony who's had a night so rough. And now, if you will pardon me, I'm going to put on a fresh pot of tea." She turned and walked away, lashing her towel wrapped tail in mild irritation. The beige mare looked uncertainly at the other ponies. "Did... Did I say something else to offend her? I... I didn't mean to..." Rarity gave her a reassuring smile. "You'll just have to forgive her, darling. Surprise visitors can put even the most gracious hostess a bit on edge." She stood with a flick of her rumpled violet mane. "And on that note, if you're feeling strong enough to walk back to Ponyville, we should probably all take our leave and stop imposing on Zecora's hospitality." Button hunched her shoulders and hung her head, huddling miserably against Fluttershy. "Are... are you sure it's a good idea to take me back to Ponyville? If I'm going to keep turning into... into a w-wierdo, maybe it... maybe it would be better if... if... if you just left me out in the Everfree Forest." The butter colored pegasus ruffled her wings, looking at the beige mare at her side with horror. "Oh NO! Don't even talk about that! We'd never abandon a pony out here! That would be terrible!" Zecora rattled her tea cup as she set it down on her low table, and gave out an irritable snort. "I'm quite in agreement, that simply won't do, dear, it's crazy enough in these woods without you here." Rainbow Dash looked thoughtful, eyeing the crestfallen earth pony. "What if we got out the Elements and gave her a big ol' shot of harmony?" Twilight pursed her lips as a pensive expression settled on her face. "I don't know, Dash. We have no idea what that would do to a normal, mortal pony. We've only used the Elements of Harmony on powerful immortals. One was reduced to a weakened shell of her former self and had to spend a whole year recuperating before she could even leave the palace, and the other was turned to stone." She gave the beige mare a comforting smile. "I don't want either of those to happen to Button here." Pinkie Pie nodded in agreement. "Yeah. If the frosting on a cake is uneven, you don't fix it with a sledgehammer! Unless you wanted a pancake, which would probably be really good with frosting now that I think about it. Ooh! Waffles would be good with frosting too, 'cos you'd get little pockets of frosting in all the waffle's nooks and crannies. But you definitely wouldn't want to use a hammer on a waffle either 'cos then you'd be right back to pancakes, and you'd get frosting all over the place, which isn't a bad thing, as far as I'm concerned, but it's kind of rough on the table settings, and I've already taken enough grief from Mrs. Cake over that last time, thank you very much." She drew herself up, blinking her limpid blue eyes and licking her lips as the possibly metaphorical merry-go-round in her head kicked into high gear. "Wow, now I can't wait 'til breakfast. Do you girls wanna come over to Sugarcube Corner for breakfast tomorrow? I'll see if I can dig up a waffle iron." She turned and called over to their zebra hostess, who'd settled down by her table with her tea and was listening to the conversation with a mixture of interest and impatience. "Zecora have you ever had waffles before? Do they even have waffles in Zebrabwe? You're more than welcome to come by tomorrow, now that nopony runs away or locks their doors when you come into town, or maybe I could bring you some waffles after we..." Applejack let out a weary sigh and held up a hoof to Pinkie's snout to quiet her. "Gettin' back to th' point, as far as I see it, I think we all have t' take a slow n' steady approach to helpin' Button out with her problem. The Elements o' Harmony ain't just a bunch o' fancy rainbow shootin' doodads. They're us." She gave her friends a smile. "I reckon it'd be better if we gave her honesty, kindness, generosity, loyalty, laughter, and magic in small doses, rather than in a big ol' whallop. Better t' eat one apple at a time than have a whole tree full of 'em fall on yer head." Rarity smiled and gave the farm pony a wink. "Well, I for one am simply ecstatic that you're learning to take a subtle approach for a change, Applejack dear." As the blonde farm mare rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue at her, the alabaster unicorn turned to Button and extended a hoof. "What do you say, darling? Shall we call you a work in progress?" Button got shakily to her feet with Fluttershy's help, fresh tears falling over a fragile smile, and stepped down off of the bed into the embrace of her benefactors. "I... I don't think anything as ever felt so... so perfect." She let out a sigh as she surrendered to the group hug. "But there may be an awful lot to fix."