The Adventures of Captain Buddeldot

by Sebbaa

Wibly wobly timey whimy

“Did I leave the Tardis' door open?” Doctor Whooves asked himself, eying the wide open entrance to his time machine in puzzlement. The small, dark room the blue box stood in was swaying gently from side to side, making the light-brown stallion sway on his hooves in turn. Wooden barrels, as well as canvas sacks were cramped all about the room and fastened to its oaken support beams with thick ropes.

Cautiously keeping an eye on the door, he got his sonic screwdriver from the inside pouch of his trench-coat and pointed its blue, glowing end at the entrance. With slow, deliberate steps he walked through the doorway, eying every corner and every shadow in the ship's control room suspiciously.

But there was nopony, nothing to be seen. The low humming of the machinery running idle was the only sound to be heard, as far as he could tell, the room was empty. He walked round the central console looking everywhere just to make sure. But still, he couldn’t get off the nagging feeling at the back of his neck.

“Hello, anypony hear?” he called out, his speech somewhat mumbled by the sonic device in his teeth. He listens for a few seconds, his ears turning here and there. But there was no answer. “Please come out, whoever you are. I swear I don't bite!” he called again and walked cautiously through the control room, while he listened for an answer.

Only when even after this try no unusual sound whatsoever came to his ears, did the Doctor lead out a relieved sigh. He loosened the grip on his screwdriver, so it hung on his lips, pointing downwards.

“Oh, ahoy Doctor! I was wondering when ye'd show up!” somepony called out from behind him. The time pony jumped, gasping in surprise, and dropped his sonic tool. When he turned around, his yaw dropped. Standing in the gallery that lead to the higher rooms of the ship, leaning on the railing with her forehooves, was a green earth pony mare. Her unruly black mane hung down in thick wet strains, and a white towel was draped lazily around her shoulders.

“Nice ship ye got there, swimming pool and all. Came across it, when I was looking for ye bar. Couldn't find that one though. Mind telling me where it is?” she began chatting away. Her voice had a thick quality and a rasp ring to it. It reminded the Doctor of dark, clear honey, mixed with quite a bit of rum that is.

“You! What are you doing on my Tardis?” the Doctor asked bewildered.

The mare began walking along the gallery and down the steps to the central console. “Arr, here I thought ye ship be called Police Box with it written on it and stuff. But that would be a stupid name, would it not? Tardis, huh? That be much better!”

“You,” the stallion stammered baffled, “what was your name again?”

“I be Captain Buddeldot!” the mare replied, making a grand gesture with her hoof, throwing her wet mane back for dramatic effect.

“What? No, that's not right. You were not the captain of the ship. You were. . . first mate or something.”

Buddeldot gave a ringing laugh from the depth of her throat and walked down the final pair of stairs. “I was, 'til somepony exposed me captain to be some kind of machine, dancing on the strings of a space worm, and threw him overboard!”

“That worm was a Dynchtopian. It was trying to spread its eggs in every port. . .” the Doctor began to explain, but stopped when he saw the mare beginning to fumble with the central console with her hooves.

“That doesn't explain what you are doing on my ship! And don't touch that, that's dangerous!”

The mare turned around, standing on her hindlegs, leaning with her back against the console. “Well, since ye took the liberty to sail me ship and nearly got it sunk in a maelstrom, I thought I'd return the favor!” she explained, gesturing wildly with her forehooves, then wheeled around and began pulling leavers and pushing switches at random.

“And I saved your sorry flank and the whole of Equestria by doing so!” the stallion protested sharply and tried to grab Buddeldot by her tail and yank her away from the console. But she sidestepped in the last moment; his teeth closed around empty air, and the mare continued to play with the controls. “It was not even your ship anyhow!” the time pony yelled frantically.

The seamare danced around the console on her hindlegs, waving off his concerns with a hoof. “Pff! I was on it, so it was me ship! It just didn't know it at that point!” she said and turned a brass wheel on the console.

“Stop playing with the controls you foal! You don't know what you're doing!” the time pony called out in waring, raising his hoof, and jumped at her again.

He missed once more, as the mare stepped on top of the console. She quickly dashed over it, and brought the glass column in the center between her and the Doctor. “Relax!” she said nonchalantly and pulled a green lever. The glass cylinders in the central column started to move, and the Tardis began shaking and singing her familiar song. “I'm not going to steer her into a maelstrom like ye did, just sailing to me favorite tavern!”

By now the Doctor was panting, and cold sweat stood on his brow. He redoubled his efforts to get the crazy mare away from the controls and started to chase her around it. “This is not one of your middle ages carracks. This is a time and relative dimension in space ship, it flies through space and time!” he told her frantically.

But the seafarer paid his warnings no head. “Don't be silly! It be a ship! Ships don't fly, they sail!” she explained nonplussed. She was still manipulating the controls, while the Doctor chased her around the console, flipping switches with a slap of her tail, pushing buttons with her snout as she ran past them.

“And I can sail any ship, no matter what waters it be sailing in!” she finally exclaimed, as she stopped running, and raised herself high on the console, supporting herself with on hoof on the edge. The Doctor dashed at her in a flying tackle, just as she pulled down a big jiggling lever.

The two ponies rolled across the control room's glass platform and landed in a heap. Before they could do anything else, the Tardis stopped moving around and became still again.

The time pony raised his head and looked around baffled. The mare's body shacking with laughter right beneath him brought his attention back to her.

“Uh Doctor. If ye'd wanted to get atop o' me, why didn't ye just say so. I might have taken kindly to yer advances!” she said with a wide grin, looking at him with half closed eyes and ran a hoof tentatively across his chest.

The stallion was taken aback by finding himself in a compromising position; he was laying on top of the mare, having her firmly pinned between his hind legs. He quickly jumped to his hooves and stumbled several steps backwards, blushing all the way to his ears.

The mare laughed, sprang back on her hooves and headed for the door. “Did nay figure ye for the shy sort Doctor, after all that great entrances and speeches ye gave that space worm thing!”

“Well, mares are a lot more scary than space monsters,” he mumbled under his breath, but quickly shook himself out of his stupor and hurried to Buddeldot, who was now opening the door.

“Don't go out there!” he yelled, but the mare was already through. He gasped in shock and galloped after her. “You don't know where we. . . “ he came to a sliding stop at the doorstep, and what he saw outside of the Tardis made him forget what he wanted to say.

“We didn't land in a star or a black hole and die after all. Fancy that!” he exclaimed, and a smile crept to his face. He quickly stepped outside, making sure to close the door behind him. He walked over to Buddeldot, who was waiting only a few steps away, sitting in front of a wide, metal doorway.

The doctor wondered for a moment what the mare's special talent was. Her cutie mark was a bottled ship in a bottle half full of rum. He stared at it while he walked towards her, frowning in thought. Before he could make any sense of it, Buddeldot looked over her shoulder and shot him a stifling smirk. The stallion blushed again when he realized he had been staring at her well rounded haunches.

“What did I tell ye?” she asked and pointed with her hoof at a glowing, half transparent sign atop of the doorway. “The Dancing Pony! Me favorite tavern in the world!”

The Doctor wasn't even surprised to see that the display said exactly that and showed the silhouette of a pony dancing on its hindlegs. It was even animated. “Every third tavern is called the Dancing Pony!” he pointed out dryly.

“All of them me favorite!” replied Buddeldot, stood up and walked to the door. When it opened on its own with a hiss from some pneumatic actuators, the mare looked at each side of the corridor curiously, raising an eyebrow. But she shrugged and walked through it nonetheless. “Through I haven't been to this one before,” she mumbled, giving the corridor before her a suspicious glance. It was of hexagonal shape and made out of dull, gray metal. Long rows of LED lights were installed in the ceiling and gave off bright, sterile light.

“And how could you?” the time pony called, as he galloped past her. He ran a few paces ahead and stopped in front of a wide window. A smile spread on his face, when he looked outside and found his suspicion confirmed. He turned back to the seafarer and gestured towards the window in a wide arc. “Buddeldot, may I present you. . .” his smile grew to a wide grin, as the mare followed his lead, looked outside, and gaped in wide eyed awe. “Harmony Station! Greatest trading hub of the Equestrian Federation of Planets!”

“Space and time?” Buddeldot asked without turning her gaze from the window.

“Yup!”

“Were are in space?”

“Positive!”

“That are spaceships out there?”

“Exactly!”

“What year is it?”

“About five thousand I guess.”

A wide grin spread on the mare's face, then she broke out in laughter, wheeled around and started prancing down the corridor again. “Lets get some space rum then!” she chirped.

The stallion looked after her in wonder, then hurried to catch up to her. “For a pony from your time, you take this unusually well!” he remarked.

Buddeldot had to chuckle at this. “I was called open minded and even mad by my crew mates before. Ye know, Zebracian Sea, voodoo magic, sunken cities and hippocamps, small difference to space and time travel if ye ask me.”

While she explained, they walked through two more heavy doors with a small chamber in between. When the second door opened they were greeted by warm but dim lights and gentle jazz music.

“Ha, this be almost like the Dancing Pony in Maredria!” the mare exclaimed, when she walked into the bar and caught a glimpse of the other patrons. The place was only half full, but what they lacked in numbers, the guest made up in diversity. Almost every Equestrian race the seafarer knew, and some she had only heard about were present. Griffons were idly chatting with pegasi, unicorns and zebras shared gossip at the bar, and some earth pony was acquainting himself with a gazelle.

“Almost. . .” Buddeldot added in an afterthought, when she saw her first alien. It kind of looked like a blue, fur-less pony with tentacles for a mane. And it wasn't the only one. There was a creature that had at least eight limps, and its features were totally obscured by a bulky pressure suit it wore. Another reminded the seafarer of a pink manatee. If manatee were floating through the air like they swam in an ocean and glowed in the dark.

“Isn't it wonderful?” exclaimed the Doctor. “Ponykind has left its home planet and spread about the whole galaxy, establishing friendly relation with almost every species they encountered!”

“And they have been sleeping around!” the sea mare remarked, looking at ponies, who could only be described as mixed offspring of various races. Like a pink, glowing earth pony that floated through the bar and carried drinks for the customers.
“They. . . spread,” replied the Doctor. The bar maid shot him a sultry smile and winked at him, when she floated past the two time travelers and noticed the stallion looking at her. It managed to make the time pony blush.

“It be glorious!” exclaimed Buddeldot and took an eager step towards the bar.

“Ha, look at that gorgeous mare!” she chirped and pointed her hoof at a green earth pony wearing a wide brimmed, black hat, sitting at the bar. “She almost looks like me.”

The Doctor followed her lead, and when he looked at the mare at the bar, she spotted the two and began waving her hoof. “Ahoy, Doctor!” she called. “Long time no see!”

The time pony looked at her perplexed, and his eyes caught on her half drowned bottled ship cutie mark. “She doesn't only look like you,” he stated surprised. “She is you!”

He quickly trotted to the mare at the bar, and Buddeldot followed short behind him. She was a little delayed by trying to hit on the bar maiden, so the Doctor arrived first.

“Buddeldot, what are you doing here? How did you get here?” he asked baffled, as he came to a halt besides the earth pony at the bar. She laughed gutturally at is question and grinned at him widely.

“Spoilers lad, spoilers! But I have been waiting for ye. And ye're just on time!”

“What? On time for what?” he inquired and raised an eyebrow.

“Well, there be something fishy going on here. Something ye have to stop!” the mare explained, serious all of a sudden, looking him right in the eye.

“Something fishy? What exactly, and how do you know?”

“I know, because she knows!” the future Buddeldot explained and pointed her hoof at the other her.

“Wibly wobly timey whimey,” she and the doctor said in unison, and the mare laughed again, provoking the Doctor to eye her curiously once more. But she quickly composed herself and went on.

“No time to explain lad. Ye should hurry to cargo bay forty one B, and put yer back into it! Whole of the federation is at stake here!”

The Doctor's eyes went wide, he wheeled around, but hesitated for a moment. “You're not coming with me?”

The mare shook her head. “Nay, and I have to talk to the lass for a moment. But don't ye worry, we'll meet again in time!”

“Right then!” the time pony exclaimed and reared on his hind legs. “Allons-y!” He called out, and galloped back to the airlock and out of the tavern.

The Buddeldot without the hat looked after him puzzled, when he galloped past her, then walked the final steps towards her future self. A cocky smirk spread on her face, as she greeted herself. “Ahoy Captain! Looking good tonight!”

“Ahoy lass! But it's actually admiral now,” replied the future seamare dryly.

The captain wrinkled her brow in wonder. “Really now? However did that happen?”

“Spoilers lass, spoilers!” the admiral said with a knowing smile.

The young Buddeldot gave a shrug. “Looking forward to it then. By the way, nice hat ye got there!” she said, admiring the well worn form of her future self's headgear. It was a wide brimmed felt hat with holes for the ears. The brim was bent upwards on one side, shielding the admirals left ear from view. The whole thing was dented a nicked in several places.

“Thanks! Fine hat it is! Came back to me, whenever I lost it, and still looks like the day I got it!” future Buddeldot exclaimed happily and nudged the piece of clothing with her hoof.

“Mighty fine hat indeed!” the young seafarer remarked with a whistle.

“Ye want it?” Admiral Buddeldot asked out of the blue.

“Eh. . . sure!” Captain Buddeldot replied with a confused frown.

“Let me make it a present to ye then!” the admiral exclaimed solemnly. She knocked the hat of her head with a nod, caught it in her teeth and sat in onto the brow of her past self.

The young mare adjusted the fit of the headgear in awe, and a smile spread on her face. “Fits like sock!” she remarked, when she had found a position she fancied, the hat sitting on her brow at an angle. “Where did you get it?” she inquired, looking at her future self with a wrinkled brow.

The admiral made an arbitrary gesture with her hoof. “Some old seamare gave it to me long ago,” she explained.

“Huh,” the captain wondered, her eyes tilting upwards to look at the hat. Suddenly they focused on her future self again, and a grin spread on her face. “And a mighty good looking seamare it was!” she exclaimed and broke out in laughter, quickly shared by the admiral.

“But that doesn't make much sense now, does it?” the captain inquired, when the fit hat worn out, and dried a tear from her eye with her fetlock.

“Wibly wobly timey whimy,” replied the older mare with a shrug.

“Works for me!” the other Buddeldot exclaimed chuckling.

“Right then,” the now hat-less seamare uttered as she got up from her cushion. “I'd like to share a drink with ye, lass, and some stories of old, but I gotta go. Got a fleet to run. Massive incident in one of the colonies. One could almost think somepony wants to lure me off this station!” she explained with a grin.

“Whom are ye calling lass, ye old hag? I'll have ye know I'm a big filly!” the captain snapped, pouting.

The admiral gave a apologetic smile. “Sorry lass, bad habit of mine. Everypony kinda seems like a foal to me. . . so. . . ye know,” she admitted, rubbing one of her forelegs uncomfortably with a hoof.

The confession took the wind out of the younger seafarer, and she mustered her future self soberly. “The cursed unicorn didn't lie after all, did he?”

“No,” replied the older mare, slowly shaking her head. “He didn't.” She quickly composed herself and cleared her throat.

“Now listen up lass! I have to run, but so do ye! The Doctor will be in a pinch by now, and it's time ye got yer sorry flank over there and help him. He is in cargo bay forty one A. That's down the corridor ye landed the Tardis in. Off ye go!” she explained and shooed the captain off with a hoof.

“Ha! Full sails ahead then! Take care ye old hag!” the younger Buddeldot exclaimed and ran off in a mad dash.

“Ye too lass, ye too,” the older mare mumbled, looking after her old self with sad, tired eyes.

Buddeldot galloped through the corridor, back to the Tardis, and from there down the larger corridor, looking for the cargo bay. She took a left turn and a right turn, went up a ladder and down an elevator. At an interjection of two corridors and a vertical maintenance shaft she turned around on the spot a few times, then let out a sigh. “Steaming manure, I'm lost!” she cursed and stomped on the ground. The seafarer looked at every possible way one more time, but was unable to make out any preferable route. She shrugged. “Navigate by instinct then. Much better at that anyway!” she mumbled and took the ladder of the maintenance shaft, climbing upwards.

Meanwhile the Doctor was in a pinch. He was standing with his back against a cargo container, and four ponies where closing in on him in a half circle, snarling at him viciously. The time pony's eyes darted around his assailants frantically, but then he just cleared his throat and spoke up with seemingly unfounded confidence.

“I surrender!” he exclaimed nonchalantly.

The ponies surrounding him looked at each other puzzled. The time pony just smiled at them. “You won! Isn't that brilliant? You can take me to your leader now!”

The other ponies exchanged glances. “We should drain him and be done with it!” one of them -a red earth pony with silvery mane- motioned, his words dripping with venom.

“No!” the lone pegasus of the group objected sharply. “The queen has left specific orders. If a pony with hourglass cutie mark, or a gray pegasus with bubbles on her flank are found, they are to be brought to her alive!”

“Ah yes, quite clever this one. You should listen to her and obey your queen's orders!” the time pony interjected, before any of the others could object.
“Fine then,” the earth pony spat. “Come along. Don't try anything stupid!” he ordered. The four ponies ushered the Doctor into their middle, then started escorting him towards the nearest exit.

“I wonder who that gray pegasus is supposed to be,” the captured stallion mumbled to himself, frowning, as he was escorted from the cargo bay.

After a few minutes of walking they came to the airlock to cargo bay forty one A. It was closed, the LED sign above it read “Area off limits for maintenance”, and two guards were posted in front of it. But as the little group that had taken the Doctor prisoner approached, one of the posts opened the door for them and they were passed through with a simple nod. “That's not a good sign,” the time pony muttered under his breath, and chewed on his lower lip. His eyes were darting left and right, not risking to miss any detail he might later need.

They came into the front part of the cargo bay. The main lights were all out, and only a few construction lamps illuminated part of the large room. The parts the stallion could see were an utter chaos of half disassembly and scaffolding. Loose wires were protruding from shafts on the ground everywhere, and large holes opened to upper and lower levels of the cargo area. The look was completed by over a dozen danger signs scattered across the site.

When they passed through a scaffolding and with it through the bright shimmer of an illusion spell, the Doctor wasn't even surprised. But with the spell behind him, he could see what the cargo area really contained, and it left him staring wide eyed with his mouth agape.

The whole of the area, that could have easily stored the cargo of the largest trading vessels, was overgrown with a strange, organic structure that resembled black chitin. It formed rows upon rows of hexagonal chambers along the walls and the columns that supported the ceiling. Among it grew tubes of the same material, almost like veins. And all among the structures swarmed creatures with the rough shape of ponies. But their skin shone in the same black chitin as the walls of the chamber, their eyes were uniform blue disks, and long fangs protruded from their mouths. Their insect like wings filled the room with an almost deafening roar, as thousands and thousands of them buzzed through the air.

The time pony swallowed hard. “Celestia's beard! Changelings!” he muttered to himself, and both of his hearts skipped a beat. He had found a full scale invasion force.

As they walked on, he noted that areas were dominated by clusters of pods, their translucent shells glowing in an eerie green light. When the group came close to one of them, the Doctor stole a glance into it, and flinched backwards when he saw what was inside it. It was a pony, hanging upside down in some kind of stasis. But he forced himself to take a second look. It was a red earth pony stallion with a silvery mane. A quick glance at the leader of his captors and back to the pod confirmed his suspicion. They looked exactly the same. “So this is how they do it. They just replace everypony,” he mumbled under his breath, as he was ushered onwards.

The group finally arrived at a large chamber in the center of the hive. Its black chitin walls were rising above in a high dome. From it hang dozens of thick pulsating veins, all of them ending in a white, bloating mass hanging in the center of the room. The mass was pulsating slowly, and just as the Doctor arrived, it produced a melon sized, white egg from it's backside. A worker was already hovering in wait for it, took it in his forelegs, as it popped free, and flew off with it. The worker's place was quickly taken by another changeling that had already been waiting in line.

As disturbing as the sight of this ant queen like, army breeding body was, what was hanging on it's front end worried the Doctor far more.

“Ah, Doctor! We have been awaiting your arrival. So nice of you to join us!” the black creature greeted him with a mocking, fanged grin. It was at least thrice the size of the other changelings, with slender, hole covered legs and a long, grotesquely edged and pointed horn on it's forehead. The white mass grew from her abdomen. It was the Changeling Queen.

“Sorry, do we know each other?” the time pony asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Time and time again you and your silly companion have thwarted my plans. But not this time!” the queen went on in her speech without paying the confused stallion's question any heed. “This time that wall eyed disaster and you are separated. . . “

“Are you talking about that gray pegasus?” the Doctor inquired, but was still ignored.

“With you in my power, and a changeling taking your place and feeding of her love, nothing can stop me!” She cackled manically, sending shudders through all of the bloated body behind her; some of her minions to cowered away in fear.

The time pony took it with indifferent patience and waited for to catch her breath and finish her speech. “I really wonder who that gray pegasus is, they are talking about,” he mumbled to himself, wrinkling his brow.

“So Doctor, any last words, before my minions put you in a stasis capsule and drain you of all your life?” the changeling monarch finally asked, looking down on him, her nose raised haughtily.

“Yes actually!” the time pony spoke up, raising a hoof. “You may have captured me, and I may be helpless without my supposed companion pegasus to stop you and your army. But there is one thing you forgot! One thing that is of utmost importance, if you value your continued existence!”

The queen chuckled at his ferocious speech. “And what, pray tell good Doctor, would that be?” she inquired mockingly.

The time pony shot her a cocky grin and took a step backwards. “You're standing under an air duct!”

For a moment the changeling stared at him puzzled, then quickly looked up, just in time to see a green shade stumbling onto the cover of the air duct right above her. With a tortured crack it broke from its frame, and send the intruder plummeting towards the queen with a startled scream.

The monarch tried to get out of the way, but the egg laying body she was stuck to was impossible to move, and she struggled for several seconds in vain. She yelped, as the falling body hit the white mass with terminal velocity. The impact flattened the organ, and the queen was blasted from the breeding body in a shower of green goo.

“Arr, bloody piss! What a fall! That would have hurt if not for this giant pillow here!” From the ruin of the lower body rose a black maned mare, cursing loudly.

“Buddeldot! Just in time like you promised!” exclaimed the Doctor happily.

“Admiral!” spat the changeling queen, spitting venom from her fangs, as she stumbled to her legs. “You are supposed to be on you way to colony forty two!”

The seafarer laughed gutturally and raised a hoof above her head. Like on a hidden clue her wide brimmed hat floated down onto it, and she sat it on her brow grinning triumphantly. “Aye, it is I, Admiral Buddeldot! Come to kick yer sorry flank!”

The monarch roared furiously, but the time pony raised his voice over her outburst. “Yes that's right queen! The Admiral and her fleet are still here! I have contacted her as soon as I came on this station and told her of your plans. You little invasion is over!” He shot the earth pony a quick wink, when he noticed her raising an eyebrow at his speech.

The seamare immediately caught on, jumped from the flattened egg sack and landed besides him and the queen. “Aye, that be true! In mere minutes me fleet will open fire on. . .” she quickly looked around herself, seeing the dome with all the changelings for the first time. “this nest, and my soldiers will board it, and slaughter you to the last!”

The changeling monarch ground her teeth for a few seconds, then turned towards one of her minions. “Evacuate the hive immediately! Bring the eggs and the young to the mother ship. The old and the warriors are to stay here and create a diversion!” she snapped at her underling. The little changeling quickly saluted and buzzed of. More commands were yelled among the ranks, and soon the whole hive was in uproar and hurried to leave Harmony Station.

The queen turned back towards the two ponies, and stared daggers at Buddeldot. “You were still foalish to come here trying save your friend!” she exclaimed and a nasty grin spread on her face. “Guards, kill them!”

That finally managed to wipe the smug expression from their faces. Without wasting any more time, the two travelers sprang into action and ran away from the queen; each in a different direction. Quickly the changeling warriors dived down onto them like meteors shrouded in green magefire and forced them to sidestep and circle madly through the chamber.

“Follow me, I know were I'm going!” the Doctor called out to the mare over the cacophony of the roaring swarm.

“Why didn't ye say so sooner!” the mare yelled and changed her course towards him. Two changelings landed in front of her and tried to block her path, but Buddeldot kept charging at them with undiluted speed, a mad gleam shining in her eyes. A step before impact the two changelings winced and closed their eyes.

When after two seconds nopony had crashed into them, they pried them open and looked around confused. Buddeldot hat somersaulted over them at the last instant and was now behind them, galloping for the Doctor. Now dashing down the same path, the two ponies simply ran over a single defender, who tried to block an exit on his own, and left the central chamber.

“After them you imbeciles! Don't let them escape!” the queen shouted in rage, and her warriors almost stumbled over themselves to follower her orders. They swarmed into the tunnel the two equestrians had galloped into.

“Quick thinking there Admiral. Now we have to get the changelings running before they realist your fleet isn't here after all!” the Doctor explained, as they galloped through the organic corridors of the hive, taking turns at seemingly random to avoid their pursuers.

The mare laughed at his words, and shot him a wide grin. “I guess clothes really do make ponies. I be the captain mate!”

“Oh,” the stallion replied in mild surprise. “So when she said, she would see me again in time, she actually meant you would. Fancy that!” he chirped, but went serous the next second. “But we still need to take care of the invasion. The changelings have infiltrated the station's officials. But I have a plan!” he explained, as he took a left turn, that led into a dead end.

The time pony was not taken back by it though. He took out his sonic screwdriver and, holding the buzzing device in his teeth, waved it across the wall. He squinted his eyes to see the display on the instrument when he was done, then quickly wheeled around and bucked the bottom right corner of the chitin covered wall. The black material gave away under his hooves and revealed a now battered, open maintenance hatch. “Stay close!” he exclaimed, as he put the screwdriver away, and crawled into the shaft.

“Now listen closely,” he began as they were crawling through the low tunnel. “This has to work on first try!”

A gray unicorn mare was sitting behind a transparent desk. She was wearing a navy-blue uniform with four golden stripes on the shoulders and was browsing through some recreational images on the display integrated into her desk, lazily sliding form picture to picture with a wave of her hoof. Suddenly the main door to the office opened with a pneumatic hiss, and a light-brown stallion burst into the room.

“Commander!” he called, sliding to a halt right in front of her desk. “I came to warn you, there are changelings on your station. A whole army of them!” he explained, as he raised onto the desk with his forehooves and leaned closer to the surprised mare, until he almost touched her face.

“Right,” the mare said, raising to her hooves. She didn't bother to close the pornography on her computer. “How nice of you to come in person to tell me this!” she exclaimed, and a devilish grin spread on her face. “Doctor!”

The time pony was bathed in an eery, green light, and he shrank away from the mare before him. He quickly turned back towards the door, but it was surrounded in a green aura and thrown shut right in front of him.

“Not so fast Doctor!” a strange ringing voice chirped behind him. “The fun has just started!”

The time pony turned around slowly, and swallowed hard. Before him stood the changeling queen herself in all of her terrible beauty, towering above him, her ragged wings spread wide.

The stallion quickly staggered to the left, trying to get away from her. She walked after him lazily, laughing triumphantly, as the time traveler stumbled towards the round door of an open airlock. “There is no escape Doctor!” she sing sang, following him through the double doors. They came into a small room, the walls rowed with seats a pony could strap itself into with a ledge. On the far end of it were two more, facing towards an array of small windows and a control console. The airlock had lead the Doctor into an escape pod. It was a dead end.

The stallion crawled away from the changeling monarch on his back, the end of the capsule coming closer and closer. The queen licked her lips as she walked after him, savoring the fear in his eyes.

Then the Doctor hit something with his head and started to rise against an invisible wall about two steps before the pilot's seat. The changeling paused in wonder. Then suddenly a whirring sound came from behind her, and the airlock closed with a shush. She wheeled around and saw that the locks had engaged and a red warning light was blinking above the door. Through a small window set into it looked a green mare. She held a silver tube with a blue light at it's end in her teeth and grinned at her widely.

The clash of an other door closing behind her made her turn around again, just in time to see a blue box appear out of nowhere before her eyes. It started vanishing with an eery wheezing groan the next instant. The queen jumped at it, but it was gone before she could touch it. She took a quick glance over the pods control console and noted in terror, that it was locked in auto pilot.

She dashed back to the door and banged her hooves against it. “Buddeldot you insidious whore! Let me out of here!” she yelled, spitting venom.

The mare at the other side of the door just laughed, and another face shoved itself besides her in front of the window, the Doctor's face. The seafarer gave him the sonic screwdriver, she was still holding in her mouth, using the opportunity to place a soft kiss on his lips when she did. The mare chuckled as she stepped to the side, making room for the blushing time pony.

“Eh, what was I going to say?” he wondered, putting his sonic device away.

“Don't think you have won yet Doctor! I found out about your ruse, and my children are preparing the invasion as we speak! You tricking me means nothing!”

“Ah, but there you are wrong!” the time pony exclaimed and leaned closer to the window, putting his forehooves on either side. “You see,” he explained cheerfully, “This escape pod is set to fly to the nearest black hole!”

“Don't be alarmed,” he said, raising a hoof, when he saw the black creature wince before him. “The nearest black hole is about ten years away from here at the pod's top speed, and its force fields won't be able to block your telepathic link to your swarm.”

A triumphant smile spread on his face. “So you can call them, and they can use your mother ship to follow and save you. Brilliant isn't it?” The queen gave him a curious look. “Of course,” the stallion went on. “At the ship's top speed it will take them about five years to catch up to the pod. Plus minus a few years depending on how quick they will follow you.”

The queen eyes went wide, and the time pony drew his screwdriver and began using it on the controls on his side of the airlock. “Off you go then! See you around!” he chirped, as the air between the double doors was ejected with a hiss. Then with a sudden yank the escape pod docked off. The two time travelers stared after it for a few moments, marveling at the queens silent screams, before the vessel sped off and vanished in the distance.

“I now remember, why I never celebrate after an adventure!” the Doctor moaned, barely suppressing his nausea, as he and Buddeldot left the Dancing Pony and walked back to the Tardis, both of them swaying not only a little on their hooves.

“Arr, ye are a true lightweight mate. Never seen an earth pony pass out under the table this fast!” the mare remarked, shaking her head and lay an sympathetic hoof on his shoulder.

The time pony let his head sink, and pressed a hoof on his mouth not to throw up. “I'm not exactly an earth pony,” he explained, his face going from white to blue and green.

“Nay,” the mare agreed, “ye are not.”

Slowly the stallion composed himself and started walking again. “What did you do, while I was out anyway? Last thing I remember was you and that pink, floating pony heading for the toilet.”

The seafarer chuckled at the remark, and her eyes drifted off. “Well, first I had her show me how that stupid space latrine worked. Ye know, there be this three shells. . . “

“I know how a toilet works, thank you!” the Doctor interrupted her sharply. “But that didn't take three hours did it?”

To his surprise the mare lowered her head slightly to shield a blush with the brim of her head. But it was no use, it went all the way to her ears, that protruded through the holes in the hat. “The barmaid showed me the crew's mess and what space ponies do for fun, ye know.” she explained. The mare looked up again, an absurdly lewd grin on her face. “The things that filly can do with that nimble tongue of hers! Let me tell you!”

“Oh look, we are there!” the Doctor exclaimed before she could go into any more detail, having found the color of his face once again. He reached inside of his trench-coat, then started patting all of his pockets. “Where do I have the key?” he mumbled.

“Allow me!” the captain announced and pranced past him, balancing a silver key on her nose. In front of the door she threw it up in the air, caught the spinning object in her teeth, and unlocked the blue box's door. Stepping to the side, she gestured with her hoof for her companion to enter, still holding the key in her teeth.

“What, where did you get that?” he asked astounded.

The mare threw the key up, caught it on her nose and balanced it once again, before she answered. “I found it.”

“You found it where?”

“In yer pocket,” she explained and a cocky grin spread on her lips. “It's how I got into yer ship!”

“What?” The stallion stared at her wide eyed. “You little. . . you stole it!” he complained and made a grab for the key. “Give that back!”

The seamare danced away from him, let the key fall into her mouth and swallowed. She shot the time pony a mischievous smile, and gaped at him, letting her tongue hang out. She chuckled, when she saw his baffled expression.

“Fine then, you keep it. I got a spare one anyways!” the Doctor announced and walked into the time machine, staring straight ahead with wide eyes.

The mare looked after him, giggling in impish glee. She made sure he was inside and started checking on the central console, then produced the key from under her tongue, dropped her hat into her hoof and put the stolen good into it. She chuckled as she put the hat back on and pranced happily into the Tardis.

With a swelling groan, a blue box materialized inside the cargo hole of a certain ocean vessel it had disappeared from at another point in space and time. Its door opened with a creak, and out of it walked a green mare, wearing a black hat. “Here we are, five minutes after we left,” a brown stallion explained with a smug expression, as he followed after her. He stopped in the door frame.

“You sure you don't want to come? The new years gala at the diamond falls of Betazoid Four is a marvelous event. You won't find its like anywhere else in the universe!”

The mare chuckled and turned back, giving him an apologetic smile. “Sorry mate. Maybe another time.” She pushed her hat to the back of her head with a hoof, and a wide grin spread on her face. “Fer now I want to run as far and as wild on the seven seas, as nopony has ever before!” she exclaimed, her eyes shining with excitement.

The time pony laughed at her statement in good humor and offered the mare his hoof. “I'm sure you will Buddeldot! Save waters and tailwinds to you my friend.”

Instead of shaking his hoof, the seamare pulled him into a friendly hug. “Until we meet again then! Take care mate!” she said and patted his back.

“You too,” the Doctor replied, and the two ponies ended the hug. He stepped back into his box, and waved a hoof at the seafarer. “See you later!” he exclaimed.

The Tardis began vanishing with her typical, eery groan, and the captain left the cargo hold and climbed unto the deck of her carrack.

When she came into the light of the sun, a firm breeze ruffled her mane and tale, and she inhaled deeply, savoring the familiar scent of the sea. When she looked around however, she saw an unfamiliar pony standing on the bridge, giving orders.

“Buddeldot? That be ye?” a blue unicorn asked, as he walked up to her, eying her in disbelieve.

“That's Captain Buddeldot to ye bos'n Scallywag!” she snapped back at him, gaining the attention of everypony on board. “Now explain to me where ye found that peacock standing on me bridge in the five minutes I was gone?”

The stallion looked around uncomfortably, searching for any support from his crew members. But none would save him from the seamare's ire. “Eh. . . Captain, ye were gone for five month. We thought ye be dead. So the shipowner placed Friendly Waters here in command.”

“Well I got better!” Buddeldot spat, grabbed a belaying pin from its bracket and started to walk towards the aftercastle. “Now lets talk about ye stealing me ship, like gentlemares!” she exclaimed, grinning with the pin between her teeth, her eyes shining dangerously. The captain standing by the wheel swallowed hard, and send a quick prayer to Celestia that the mare had the same concept of gentlemares he did.

Later, when he found himself bound to the posts of his own bed, he regretted not jumping from the ship when he still had the chance.