//------------------------------// // Diane (Complete Story) // Story: The Woman Named Diane // by boardgamebrony //------------------------------// One day, a wandering woman appeared in the town of Lonely Meadows with a mysterious book that spoke of a far-off land known only as Paradise. When the townspeople found her, they discovered a map residing within the pages of the worn book. Their city was right in the center of it with the handwritten words “Begin Again.” They would have questioned the woman, had she not collapsed at the city limits from her own fatigue. She had no identification, money, nor wallet, food or water. Her hair was a dirty pink with darker patches of color all throughout. Her only possession was the book written in an unknown language. It was etched with a cover symbol of two horses swirling around one another. Her face appeared on the cover of every newspaper from one end of the state to the other. The sensationalist tabloids got a hold of the story first and as a result, no one beyond the town of Lonely Meadows took her appearance seriously. The police couldn’t match her fingerprints with anything in their database. Face recognition software resulted in several false positives from other people who confirmed they were indeed not the woman who slept soundly at Lonely Meadows Hospital with curious onlookers gathering outside. Stories began to spread about any nurse or doctor who would enter the room. Anyone who stayed in the woman’s presence for more than five minutes began to feel the most curious of sensations in their heart. The head doctor described it as though he had walked into a surprise party during the happiest day of life. He couldn’t stop grinning, even when he stared at the woman whose serene smile lit up the dismal environment of the hospital room. His comment about this experience was confirmed by every other staff member who entered the room. Late that night, the head doctor found one of his nurses sitting by the bedside of the mysterious pink-haired woman. Their hands were intertwined within one another's. The nurse spoke. “Doctor, I haven't felt this way in a long time.” “Felt what, Diane? What is it?” “Peace.” Nurse Diane said. “I have had depression for fifteen years. I can’t remember a day where I didn’t feel it. But today...it’s gone.” “Are you sure?” “It’s because of this woman,” Diane said. “I know it has to be because of her. I’ve never felt this happy before.” She got up and walked to the front door where she stopped. “I’ve tested it. The feeling doesn’t disappear when I leave. It stays with me.” She looked at the head doctor. “I have to make the most of it. I’m sorry but I need to go.” --- At the police station, investigators eyed the enigmatic book and spread out the map on the table. Local forensic investigators arrived from nearby Lone Lariat. They wanted to take a crack at examining the map. Even though they were off-duty, they used every forensic investigative process they could to determine the origin of the book and map. One of the officers scanned several pages of strange text and sent them to a professor he knew who was skilled in linguistics and ancient languages. The police chief held the book in his hands and opened it to several painted images as his detectives looked on. “This looks like a book I would read to my daughter,” Chief said. “But there’s so much war in here. These are...horses? It looks like they’re fighting one another.” Officer Lozano, a transfer from San Antonio, placed the book under a magnifying glass as two out-of-town investigators eyed the page. “What do you guys see there?” The first investigator spoke up. “There’s extremely light writing all throughout the pages, but it’s in the same color as the art behind it. It’s nearly impossible to make out what the symbols are.” The second investigator held the book up to the light and looked at the page. “Strange. I would have thought light could help reveal the characters, but the more light there is, the more invisible they become.” He handed the book back to Lozano. “Don’t suppose you can read in the dark?” Lozano turned off the light. The book was as pitch black as everything else. He turned the light back on and sighed. “Worth a shot.” --- Back at the hospital, Nurse Diane found her mood was getting progressively better. A curious tune filled her head. Unable to remove it, she began to hum. As she did so, her smile spread. She saw the children’s ward and stepped in to check on them one more time before she left. Several of the kids couldn’t sleep. Every time Diane tried to talk to them in the past, she never felt she could make any progress in making them happy. But she always kept trying, even if only helped them smile for a single moment. She saw one little girl, Laura, crying softly in her sleep. She reached out to adjust her blankets when a slight spasm in her body threw her off. She froze and turned around. There was nothing behind her. The spasm continued. “What in the world…?” She turned around in a circle, absolutely sure that something was happening behind her. Another nurse walked by and stared. “Diane are...you okay?” “My tail is twitching!” Diane said. Then stopped. “I mean...” “Your...your butt is twitching?” The nurse raised an eyebrow. “No, that’s not what I meant. I...feel strange,” she said. She looked back at the sleeping child and felt a twitch so strong she spasmed, tripped and fell into the handcart nearby. The clatter woke up every kid in the room. Every kid except for Laura. The other nurse walked up and helped Diane off the floor. “Are you...” she turned to look at Laura. She checked her IV drip and looked at her vital signs on the monitor. She pulled out the patient chart from the end of the bed and compared it with the IV drip. “Oh my god...” “What?” Diane asked. She stood and stared at the chart. “I knew there was a reason she didn’t wake up when you made that racket. The amount of sedatives she’s been taking through her IV are what an adult should have, not a child!” She began to remove the IV bag. “Her blood pressure is dangerously low. She could have died!” Diane stared in disbelief. The twitch was gone. --- Officer Lozano and the investigators read the report emailed back to them by the local linguistics professor. The book writing had stylistic traits similar to various languages from around the world, but mostly relied on pictorial representation similar to Egyptian Hieroglyphics. Each symbol was a concept rather than a sound like the letters of the alphabet. Unfortunately, the professor couldn’t figure out what concepts they were. Lozano phoned the hospital. “How is our mystery woman doing?” The head doctor sighed. “No progress. But more and more nurses are purposely visiting her so they can feel the after-effects of the happiness she seems to pervade.” “So she’s a walking drug?” Lozano asked. “Her influence is growing.” “Her...what is growing?” “We have patients in nearby rooms about fifty feet away that are reporting significant increases in their mood, their overall health and their desire to comfort one another. And there’s something else you need to see. I’m sending you an email of a photo I took thirty minutes ago.” Lozano stared at the image he received. “Is this the outer window of the woman’s room?” “Yes. And it’s glowing.” Lozano zoomed in to the image and looked at the woman’s form on the bed. “No, the room isn’t glowing. She’s glowing.” The officer sat back in his chair. “Doctor, tell me: what are the only things that glow without power?” “Bioluminescent animals and plants, for one.” “Also radiation. Dangerously irradiated objects can glow.” “Wait,” The doctor said. “That’s not entirely true. Irradiated objects don’t glow on their own. They need special conditions to do that.” “Well you have any other answers as to why our guest here is emitting a pink glow? Or why she collapsed in the first place upon entering the town?” “I don’t usually think of ‘pink’ when I think of radiation.” “She’s glowing and people are reporting unexpected mood shifts around her. And her hair has strange color patches in it. She might lose hair soon, which is another sign of radioactivity. There’s nothing mysterious about it. Tell your people to move the patients from around her room. I’m contacting someone to retrieve her.” --- Diane stared at her face in the mirror. A rather vibrant streak of pink had formed across the brown hair, stretching down over her face like a rebellious off-color bang. The closer Diane looked, the more smaller streaks of pink she saw all through her hair. Her heart was racing, but even then, she felt a lightness of being she hadn’t experienced since childhood. A blue glint shone in her eyes. She shook her head. “I’m losing my mind,” she said. She laughed nervously. “I’ll be fine tomorrow. I’m sure of it.” Her phone rang. She answered it and was greeted by the head doctor at Lonely Meadows Hospital. “Diane, I need you to come back to the hospital immediately. You may have been exposed to radiation from the woman you were watching over today.” Diane went silent. “Diane?” The head doctor asked. “Are you there? Please answer me.” “I’m here,” she said. She felt the twitching sensation again. “Diane, are you experiencing any symptoms? Anything at all?” She stared at the mirror. The pink in her hair was clearly visible. The lightness in her chest was becoming more pronounced. She placed a hand over her heart and felt a calmness wash over her. The doctor spoke up. “Are you feeling ill? I need to know. Don’t make me drive over there.” His voice was growing tense. And yet, Diane had never felt so calm. “Bill, I feel fine,” she said. Her voice was even. Peaceful. “You mentioned you felt your depression was gone earlier today. Is that still true?” “Yes,” she said. She smiled. And it felt wonderful. “Then I need you to come back right away.” “But I feel great, Bill!” “That’s the problem,” he said. “You’ve had nearly a lifetime’s worth of depression and suddenly your mood changes on the day this woman appears. That could be a side effect of the radiation. Your body might be in survival mode right now, trying to use up its resources to fight this contamination you can’t even see.” “Okay, okay!” Diane said. “I’ll be right there.” She felt defeat. She hung up in frustration before even realizing she had done it. She sighed. The twitching in her body returned. “Ah!” She yelled as she gripped the nightstand. “What is this?” she asked no one. I wish I knew what was happening. She grabbed her dark coat and headed for the door when she looked at the jacket. I’m missing something, she thought. Minutes later, she exited her home wearing bright ribbons and bows in her hair. She felt childish. She felt silly. She felt happy. She skipped to her car and didn’t know why. --- Officer Lozano stood outside Lonely Meadows Hospital as a HazMat van drove up to the side. Several nameless individuals stepped out in large, yellow suits. Their faces hid behind plastic visors with a cylindrical breathing apparatus jutting from the front. They looked like humanoid mosquitoes carrying a rolling stretcher as they ran into the hospital. Lozano pulled out a pair of binoculars and pointed them at the outer window of the mystery woman’s room. The glow was so plainly visible, he wondered if he was affected at this range. He checked his mood. Nope. Still bitter and cynical. He smiled, then immediately stopped doing so. He grabbed the mystery map confiscated from the woman and stared at it under the street lamps. Lonely Meadows was clearly marked in the center. He examined the rest of the names, but none of them made any sense. They were all composed of symbols his professor contact couldn’t identify. He stared closely and saw a nearly transparent mark through a series of symbols atop a castle set into a mountain. I’ve never seen THAT place around here before… he thought. He held the map up to the light, but he couldn’t see the information any better. He stared up at the woman’s window and saw the HazMat team making wild gestures at several people who had entered the room. He pulled out his radio. “Hey! What’s going on up there? Get those people out of the room!” One HazMat team member pulled out their radio. “They’re trying to stop us from taking the subject. They refuse to move from the door.” “Hospital security isn’t helping you guys up there?” “They ARE hospital security!” “You gotta be kidding me,” Lozano said as he threw the map into the passenger seat. He grabbed the radio from the dash of his patrol car. “Central, come in.” “Central. Go ahead.” “Send all available units down to Lonely Meadows Hospital. Need assistance with crowd control.” “10-4,” they responded in affirmative. Officer Lozano set his radio back on the dashboard and looked around the corner. A crowd of onlookers who had been watching the woman’s room from the outside began to enter the hospital in a large group. “Oh great,” Lozano said. He ran into the hospital from a side door. He radioed the HazMat team inside. “On my way to your location.” I don’t even have a protective suit! he thought. But I can’t let those civilians get too close... --- Nurse Diane drove up to the edge of the hospital parking lot and stopped. The HazMat vehicle was parked on the side. She slowly drove to the far end and saw the parked police car. Oh great, she thought. A lot of movement was occurring in the mystery woman’s room above. Diane turned off her vehicle and got out to get a closer look. She stared at the inside of the officer’s car. Her back blocked the light from the street lamp, leaving only the moonlight to cast down onto the map. She gasped. Small symbols appeared around the center of the map surrounding Lonely Meadows. Words appeared. Words that Diane could understand. “Ponyville?” Diane said as she read the glowing notes. “Why is Lonely Meadows named that?” She opened the door, not realizing it had been locked only moments before, and grabbed the map before closing the door like nothing had ever happened. She walked away from the street lamp, instinctively knowing that the moonlight would reveal the true message. Inside the hospital, Officer Lozano was halfway down the hall on the same floor as the mystery woman’s room when a mob of people began to walk down from the opposite end. He saw the two security officers standing in the middle of the doorway as the HazMat team had the woman on a stretcher and ready to go. They were all laughing with each other. “HEY!” Lozano shouted. The HazMat team members broke out of their stupor and went silent. The two security guards stared in confusion. “Move away from the door or I’m going to arrest both of you! Get out of here right now!” The security guards were jarred from their pleasant thoughts by Lozano’s anger. They backed away as the two HazMat team members began to wheel the woman down the hall. They passed Lozano as he backed away, savoring his anger. He pointed to the crowd. “Do your job and keep those people back!” The security guards nodded and saw the incoming crowd. Their riotous clamor grew in strength. The two guards froze in place. They fumbled with their radios to call for assistance as Lozano caught a glimpse of movement outside. Something brilliantly pink. “What?” He stared out the window of the open room. Nurse Diane was strolling down the street with the map in her hands. He swore under his breath and ran back out into the hall. The two security guards were gone. But the mob was almost to the room. “WHERE IS SHE?” One of the random men asked. “YOU STOLE HER! YOU STOLE OUR HAPPINESS!” One shouted. Officer Lozano put his hand on his pepper spray and then looked around at all the open rooms that might still have patients in them. He released his grip on the spray, looked out the window and saw Diane and the map. She was walking awfully fast on foot. Skipping, really. He turned to the crowd. “Stay back!” He yelled. He grabbed his radio and clicked the transmitter button. “Where is my backup?” There was laughter on the other end from the HazMat Team. “Wonderful,” he said. He came upon a pair of hallway doors and pulled them into place. They shut. He turned to a nearby nurse. “WHERE’S THE KEY?” “I don’t have it!” she yelled in fear. Lozano ran for the exit. The doors burst open as twenty angry citizens stormed after him. Don’t pull the gun unless you have to, he thought. They’re sick. They don’t know what they’re doing. He thought about using his taser, but it would only take down one person. There would still be nineteen left. Outside, Diane saw a flurry of red and blue flashing lights make their way down the street. They skidded to a stop next to her. Her entire body twitched in response. An officer yelled from the open window. “HEY! What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at the hospital!” “I...” How did he know I work at the hospital? Diane thought. Two officers stepped out of their vehicle and approached Diane. Her whole body was lit-up in warning. She folded up the map and slipped it into her pants pocket. “Come on,” one of the officers said. “We have to take you back.” “But I need to figure out the map!” She said. She didn’t know why those were the first words out of her mouth, but they were. “What map?” the officer said. “The one you were holding? Wait...did that go with the book?” “Book?” Diane asked. She could have sworn she had a tail that flicked in response. She looked back. Nope. Nothing. “That map is police property,” the officer said. “It belongs to LMPD. Come on. Let’s go.” “I...I can’t,” Diane said. She looked over her shoulder. Rows of suburban houses lined the streets behind her. Her legs were restless. They already knew what to do. The officer saw the telegraphed motion and lunged for Diane. With the slightest bit of movement, her body completed the action and swung out of the way. The officer missed her by about four feet. The assisting officer stared. “How…?” He asked. He moved towards Diane. She grasped the top of the wooden fence behind her and, with a level of strength she didn’t know she had, leapt over the side. “WAGH!” She yelled as she landed in a set of bushes and on top of one very pissed-off cat. The two officers stared in confusion for a second. One stifled a laugh and then both took off around the corner to catch up with her. At the hospital, Lozano burst through the outer door as he saw the two HazMat team members rolling on the ground with laughter. The stretcher had already been loaded into the vehicle. Lozano stared at the team and shook his head. He kicked both of them. They cried out in pain, now broken from their happiness-induced revelry. “GET. UP!” he yelled. “TAKE OFF NOW. They’re coming down the stairs!” A growing mass of anger sounded through the open sliding doors of the hospital. The two team members rushed into the van, started it up and took off. The officer ran over to his vehicle, unlocked the door and slid into the seat. The mob had already rushed through the front doors. They spotted his car and yelled in fury. He started it up and rolled into reverse, tearing off down the parking lot. He turned the wheel and overcompensated, putting him further towards a grassy hill instead of the exit road. Still, they ended up in the same place. He slammed the accelerator. The car shot off down the asphalt. It bumped over the curb and onto the grass, slicing through grass with wide grooves cut into the landscaping. He turned the car and headed towards the road alongside the suburban district. An empty cop car was parked along the side of the road. “What the...” he started to say. A vehicle slammed into the back edge of Lozano’s car, sending it careening into the parked patrol vehicle on the side of the road. The officer stared at the face of a very angry citizen who wasted no time in getting out of his truck. He marched up to the officer’s shattered driver’s side window and grasped the officer with both hands. Lozano was shocked at how easily he was pulled out of the car by a man much smaller than he was. He fell onto the ground as the wind knocked out of him. He instinctively reached for the taser on his belt and aimed it at the man. He pulled the trigger. The citizen convulsed and locked up before he fell to the ground next to Lozano. The officer stood up, saw the incoming crowd of people on foot and in cars, and ran in the opposite direction. He went around the corner and into the suburban district. Diane found herself running through backyards as her instincts pulled her along, giving her a nudge in one direction or another. The officers chasing her radioed in. “Subject fleeing through backyards on Diamond Street!” From down at the far end of the street, Lozano spotted the two officers as they ducked into an alley between houses. “Great,” he said through gasps. He turned. A truck barreled around the corner and aimed right for him. “OH SH--” He jumped out of the way just in time. He rolled to a stop in the grass before bolting through an alleyway and into a backyard. He leaned around a corner and saw the mob run off in another direction, totally oblivious to where he was. Lozano breathed a sigh of relief and snuck through the backyards. Meanwhile, Diane felt something taking over. Her legs were faster. Her body, quicker. She leapt with ease and dodged with superhuman ability. A fence stood in her way. She grasped it and jumped up. As she did so, a warning bell shot off in her mind, anticipating the dead drop twenty feet down a steep incline into a drainage ditch. Her hands shot out and grasped the fence. It broke. She fell and hit the top edge of the grass before tumbling down below. She landed in the water and shrieked. Her head burst through the surface as she pulled herself up, gasping for air. She crawled onto the edge of the roadway and saw the HazMat vehicle come right towards her. She dodged left. They swerved right. The vehicle drove off into a field and came to a halt. Both side doors opened as the two team members removed their masks and laughed so hard they fell over in the field. “Oh man! This feels wonderful!” one shouted. “Yeah. Forget work,” said the other. “Let’s just lie here under the stars!” Diane jogged over to the scene and stared down at them before looking in the back. She gasped. The woman was awake. Diane climbed into the back of the vehicle and sat next to her. The woman’s eyes were kind, but tired. “Hi,” Diane said. She held the woman’s hands in her own and smiled. “Hi. I’m Pinkie,” she said. “I’m Diane.” The two exchanged smiles before continuing. “Are you okay?” “Eh,” Pinkie said. “Today is not my best day.” “Who are you? Why are you here?” Diane asked. “Everyone is enamored with you. It’s like you have a power over the entire town.” “Oh no,” Pinkie sat up. “What happened?” “People felt more connected. They were happier than ever before. Your presence was a joy to the whole town.” “Whew,” Pinkie said. Her face flooded with relief. “That’s good to hear. Last time a mob of happiness-starved people appeared to aid in my defense. I’m glad that didn’t happen this time.” “Yeah. That would have been a nightmare,” Diane said. She looked down at her hands. “Pinkie, what’s happening to me? Why am I changing?” Pinkie held Diane’s hands in her own. “I didn’t want to say anything cause I didn’t want you to worry. But now seems like as good a time as any.” She pulled out a mirror from her pocket, opened it and held it up towards Diane. The position was perfectly in front of Pinkie’s face. For all Diane knew, she was staring at Pinkie’s reflection. The mirror dropped down as Pinkie smiled. “Why do I look like you?” Diane’s voice choked out. “Why is my own face gone?” Pity shone in Pinkie’s eyes. She embraced Diane and the two held each other close. Diane sniffled into the shoulder of her lookalike and wished she could be anywhere but in that van in that field on that night. The two held each other for what felt like forever until Pinkie stared past Diane at a gun pointed their way. Officer Lozano stood at the outside of the open door to vehicle. He was ragged and his uniform was ripped. “Diane. Step away from the woman.” Diane looked up. Lozano’s eyes widened. “Are...are you two related?” he asked. Diane looked away. Pinkie nodded. “I think that question is now more accurate than you expected,” she said. Diane sniffled. “What’s happened to me?” She held Pinkie close. “Please. Tell me. I feel like I’m losing myself.” Pinkie looked over at Officer Lozano. He lowered his gun and shook his head before replying. “Why are my team members giggling on the ground outside?” “That’s my fault,” Pinkie said. “Ever since I came here, my magic has been leaking. I’m losing more strength every day. I need to go home.” She turned to Diane. “It looks like you absorbed most of my magic. Were you watching over me when I was asleep?” Diane nodded. “That’s all it takes.” “Am I going to change back?” Diane asked. “That depends,” Pinkie said. “Do you want to change back?” Diane opened her mouth. She said nothing. She looked down and didn’t know what to say. Lozano spoke first. “What do you mean ‘magic?’” Diane pulled out the map from her pocket. She held it in the moonlight so Lozano could see the hidden words appear. “I bet it has something to do with this.” He held it in his hands. Pinkie pointed at Lonely Meadows in the center. “This town has a different name where I’m from.” “Ponyville,” Lozano said. He looked up. “I cannot say that name with a straight face.” Pinkie narrowed her brow. “That cannot be your happy face.” “I don’t have a happy face.” Pinkie bit her lip. “We’ll see.” Diane started to sniffle. “I don’t know how to feel about all this. On one hand, I’ve never felt this happy. My depression is gone and I have this new strength like I haven’t had in a decade. But...I’ll never look like my old self. And I liked my old self. Mostly...” she said with sadness in her voice. Pinkie held her tight. “Diane, you’re going to have to make a choice very soon. I need to go home, but I can’t do it without you taking me there. After that, you can stay or you can go back home. But without you as my guide, I won’t make it. My magic will bleed out and I’ll be stuck here. Forever.” Her eyes began to tear up at the end of her somber words. “But I don’t know how to get you home,” Diane said. “The portal home is wherever the book is. Do you have it?” Pinkie asked with hope in her eyes. Lozano hesitated. Then nodded. “It’s at the station. I can get it, but...I don’t understand any of this. I just want this town to be normal again.” Pinkie leaned in. “This town will never be normal again. Just like Ponyville.” She looked at Diane. “It’s been infused with magic permanently now. Just like you, Diane. So even though you can change back, there’s always be a little bit of me inside you.” “So I’m not just Diane anymore...” she said. “Nope. You’re Pinkamena Diane Pie now,” Pinkie said as she smiled. “Pinkamena?” Diane asked. “That’s my birth name,” Pinkie said. “When we get to Equestria, things are going to be a lot different. The magic I left inside you is going to come out full force, so...don’t be surprised if you find yourself enthralled with the idea of being me for a while.” Lozano spoke up. “Hey. You said Lonely Meadows isn’t going to be the same. Are we going to have magic problems from now on?” Pinkie laughed. The sound made Lozano smile a bit. “HAH! I KNEW IT! YOU HAVE A HAPPY FACE!” He scowled. Pinkie harrumphed. “Okay, fine." She snickered before continuing. "Look, I’m leaving you the book. I wrote everything in human languages, but you can only read it under the moonlight. That book will help you deal with almost everything you could come up against.” She looked off to the side. “Almost everything.” “That’s not in my job description.” Pinkie looked back at him. “The book teaches the reader how to use magic.” Lozano’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “I’ll think about it.” --- The three rode together towards the police precinct. Lozano drove and was a little disappointed he didn’t feel the happiness others did around Pinkie Pie. He wondered if maybe something was off about him, until she explained that she had lost too much magic to affect anyone else. Diane held on to Pinkie as the two stood in a lonely back room of the Lonely Meadows Police Department. It was the safest and most secure place to summon the portal between worlds. Lozano kept the night crew at the police department busy out on patrol after telling them the two HazMat guys were still out there in a field somewhere (and then didn't give an exact location for the two men). The dispatcher had no idea that the two identical women going into the back interrogation room would not be returning. Diane held Pinkie as a tear in reality appeared in the small space, stretching it far back into another world. Lozano gawked with one hand still on the magic book. Pinkie and Diane hugged him, causing him to smirk before they walked off into the distance. A flurry of magical energy surrounded both of them. Lozano could swear they fell to all fours before trotting away. He thought about Lonely Meadows and wondered what lay in store for the town now that everything had been changed. He knew he couldn’t handle it all by himself. He’d have to find help. He pulled out his cell phone and started looking up contacts when a message popped up. My my Look who has a new fun book And in a town left so much richer than before especially much more interesting than Ponyville I look forward to meeting you soon Oh goody! This is going to be SO MUCH FUN -D –-