//------------------------------// // Respect your Elders // Story: Spike and Discord's Wild Ride // by Fortune Tune //------------------------------// Dragon Lord Ember stood on a cliff outlooking the badlands. A titanic roar echoed throughout the valley, and she gripped the bloodstone scepter tightly in her claws. While it had only been a few minutes since she sent a request for help to her pony friends, it felt like hours. Every so often, the ground would shake and rumble, and new cracks would form on the mountain on which she stood. The sound of magical discharge caught her attention, made familiar by Twilight's proficient and frequent use of teleportation, and she turned around, a hopeful smile on her snout. "Twilight? That was-" that hope turned sour when she saw Discord, smiling nonchalantly. "Oh, it's you…" Discord looked hurt. "Well that's a fine howdy-do! Though I am a little surprised at the cold reception. Usually when I'm recognized, there's at least a little bit of residual terror, or at the very least discomfort." He put a paw over his eyes and sighed melodramatically. "Or have I become such old news so quickly…? "Twilight mentioned you in her letters," Ember said before he could go on any further. "She said you had a tendency to be…" she snorted as she recalled the word she'd use to describe him, and decided on a more polite term, "disagreeable." "Ahh, yes, I suppose we have butted heads from time to time," Discord said, coming out of his drama mode. "But isn't that what friendship is about? Getting each others nerves in the heat of the moment, but being able to walk away closer than ever at the end of the day?" "…Is it? Sounds a bit impractical, if you ask me." "Ehh, fair enough," Discord shrugged. "Not like I didn't think the same thing once upon a time. But it doesn't change the face that you now have some reinforcements!" "Reinforcements? You?" Ember asked. "What, so is this part of your community service?" "Your news sources are at least two seasons out of date," he said indignantly. "I'm fully reformed, thank you very much! And being the good Se-mare-itan that I am," Discord had to hold back a smirk at the way Ember glared at him. "I thought it prudent to help our new allies and friends with whatever ails them." "And Twilight just decided to send you to help?" Ember asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "After all that talk about how you liked to shirk off your responsibilities?" "If you must know, her royal purple-ness is out on another errand and has sent forth this lowly squire in her stead," the draconequus took an exaggerated bow that brought an unconscious Spike, still held in the coils of his tail, into view. "Complete with assistant!" he added with a smile. "Spike!" Ember cried. The little dragon stirred, and blinked his eyes open as the world came back into focus. "Ember…?" he asked groggily. "Welcome back to the land of the living!" Discord said, bending his serpentine body to face his young charge/captive. "You were on quite the snooze cruise, young dragon. I hope you brought souvenirs!" "Souvenirs…what?" "Spike, is this…" she almost choked on her words. "…creature holding you against your will!?" "Relax, your royal stick in the mud." Discord huffed and dropped Spike on to the ground, the baby dragon falling with a grunt. "And I thought Twilight was uptight. I was so hoping to find a ruler that wasn't so stiff." "I swear, if you did anything to hurt him, I'll-!" "No, wait, it's fine," Spike finally said, getting up to his feet. "I mean, I think it is. Why are we here again?" "We have been summoned at the request of Dragon Lord Ember via letter by dragonfire," Discord explained, now donning a fancy wig and petticoat as he presented the letter in question to the baby dragon. "Of course, it'd be hard to tell just why with how rushed this was written." Ember flushed angrily. "You would've rushed too if you saw what I have to deal with. Come on!" She took flight, gliding off the cliff face towards the valley below. "Come on, Spike. Adventure awaits!" Discord didn't wait for the baby dragon to reply before wrapping his tail around him once more and taking off after Ember. They flew behind a rocky out cropping and Ember peeked around it before signaling them to join her. The two looked around, but all they saw were rocks and lava. The air, while humid, was deathly quiet. "So…" Spike started when the silence began to drag on. "Is this a special dragon thing or-" A thunderer roar cut him off, and Spike had to muffle a gasp when its owner stomped into view. There was Torch, looking positively livid. His appearance was already intimidating, but now he'd become terrifying: his scales had a darker hue to them, the jewel-like formations on his head had turned crimson, and his eyes were blood red instead of their usual amber. He let out a roar that was so primal, it made even Discord's beard stand on end. The three took cover behind the rock when Torch started to charge right past them, ramming his head into a nearby cliff face. "Is that Torch?" Spike wondered, and received a sad nod from Ember. "What happened to him?" "He's been like this since this morning," Ember said, looking forlornly at her father. "We'd just had my first meeting of the dragons yesterday. He looked so proud of me when I addressed the local dragons." She smiled fondly at the memory, but winced when she heard her father's distorted roar echo through the valley. "When I woke up, he was already rampaging through the fields. He didn't even recognize me when I tried to talk to him." She took a shuddering breath, and looked at the two. "Now do you see why I called out here?" "Not really, no," Discord said, much to Spike's confusion and Ember's ire. "Your dad's taking aging rather well, all things considered." "Aging?!" Ember yelled. "This isn't aging! He's stuck in a primal rampage. What could aging possible have to do with it!?" "It's his midlife crisis, of course," answered Discord, matter-of-factly. "He's stuck in a greed induced rampage because he wants to reclaim his old days. Quite common for someone his age. Why, I remember watching one dragon completely level a mountain when he hit that age. Natural chaos at its finest!" "So he's greedy for his youth?" Spike asked. "That's a good way to put it, yes. Honestly this is one of the better ways it could've turned out. You don't even wanna know what the alternatives are." he turned to Ember with an oily smile. "That being said, if you ever did want to know-!" "I'm fine as is, thank you," muttered Ember. "Right now, all I want to know is how we can snap him out of it. If this goes on for too long, he'll destroy the entire continent!" "Oh, that's an easy one!" Discord said joyously. "And a fun one at that. All we need to do is make him feel young again!" "And just how are we supposed to do that?" Ember fumed. "He can barely tell his own tail from a bed of rocks!" "Well, from the looks of things, your dad was quite the brawler in his youth," Discord noted, taking a peek from their hiding spot to look at the former dragon lord give a head lock to an unlucky outcropping. "So all we have to do is have him duke it out with another experienced dragon!" "But how are we supposed to convince another dragon to take on a former dragon lord?" Spike asked. "Let alone one that's completely off his rocker!" He felt Ember's glare on his back, and quickly turned to the seething Dragon Lord. "Uhh… no offense?" "And that's the fun part!" Discord snapped his fingers, a red and green dragon popping into existence behind him. "You have a one-draconequs-army at your disposal. We'll just keep throwing dragons at him until something sticks." "Uhh… Discord," Spike said warily. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Discord hummed curiously, ignoring the twin glares the dragons behind him were giving him. "Oh, you're right! I completely forgot!" He poofed on a lab coat and started furiously writing things down on a notepad, one that bore his visage, naturally. "We need to make sure to record everything so that Sparkle-butt doesn't throw a fit when we return. Good catch there Spike." "Not what I was going for…" "I believe he was referring to us," the red dragon huffed, lowering his head to glare properly at Discord. "Just what makes you think we'll help you?" "Ahh, yes, I have the answer for that too!" Discord flew up to the dragon's ear, whispering something that made the dragon's eyes widen. he then flew up to the green dragon, whispering something that had him mirroring his counterpart's expression. "MINE!!!" Both dragons roared excitedly as they dashed towards Torch, kicking up a cloud of dust as they pounced on him. "Didn't even need to use mind control!" Discord cheered, floating down to watch the spectacle. Though it quickly became apparent that it was a one sided match, as, even with the odds stacked against him, Torch took all the dragons could give and then some. Though the dust obscured most of the fighting, they could still make out the shapes of all three as they tussled. "What did you say to them?" Ember wondered, before grimacing when she caught sight a dragon getting decked in the nose. "Oh nothing much," he sing-songed, wincing as he watched Torch choke hold the green dragon while managing to gain enough leverage to kick the red dragon in the jaw. "Just that, if they won, they'd get to pick as much loot from your hoard as they could carry and take it with them. No better incentive than the Dragon Lord's own hoard, am I right?" Ember took this news with all the dignity and self control one would expect of a Dragon Lord when dealing with a visitor. "I WILL INCINERATE YOU!" she roared, and attempted to put him in a choke hold of her own. "Touchy!" Discord chortled before slipping away from Ember's reach. "And you have nothing to worry about. I only sent them out to gauge his strength." He looked at his wrist, which now sported a miniature sundial. "By my estimates they should be done in about…" On cue, both dragon landed in front of the trio, each looking thoroughly thrashed. "Now!" "He kicked me in the jaw," the red dragon whimpered out. "First the rainbow pony, now him… Why does everybody kick me in the jaw…?" "Oh, grow up. Did I summon dragons or mice?" Discord tutted and snapped the two away. "Well, I suppose there's nothing to it. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!" "You're going to fight my father?" Ember asked skeptically. "Oh, heavens no! We want him in one piece after all this, don't we?" he smirked at a now worried looking Ember. "No, I'm going to do what all good nobles do and select a champion to fight in my place!" "You're a noble?" Ember asked, mostly in sarcasm. Discord still looked affronted. "I'll have you know that the 'Lord' in 'Lord of Chaos' is more than just for show! Why else do you think I can just hang around Fluttershy's whenever I want?" Ember frowned harshly, and Spike took it upon himself to ask the next question before things escalated. "Lord or not, weren't those two dragons your champions?" "Those two were more like cannon fodder. Besides, whose to say I can't select more than one? Speaking of!" he twirled his lion's paw, pulling out a golden cane with his head on it from behind him and placed it on Spike's shoulder. "Congratulations, Sir Spike. You have been chosen by the Lord of Chaos as his new champion!' "What?!" Spike yelped. "But I can't fight him! He'll pulverize me!" As if on cue, Torch spotted a small rock formation, no bigger than Spike, and went to work pulverizing it into a fine sandy powder, before blowing molten hot  fire on it, turning it to glass. Spike gulped at the wanton destruction, backing away slowly until he bumped up against Discord's leg.. "You have nothing to worry about," the chaos lord said, leaning over to pat Spike's head. "Just leave all the planning to me! Now Spike!" In a flash, he was once again dressed in his lab coat, with a mock diploma pinned to the rock wall. "Do you have anything that could calm you down after losing your mind? Family heirloom, favorite lullaby?" Ignoring the oddity of Discord of all beings asking such a question, and feeling relieved at the lack of an 'M.D.' in the diploma's title, Spike responded. "Well, I have a Fire Ruby that I gave to Rarity. Seeing that brought me back to my senses the last time I…" "Last time?" Ember asked when he trailed off. "Oh, right. You weren't there when it happened. I sorta…kinda… got consumed by greed and nearly ate the entire town." He smiled sheepishly. Ember's eyes widened in shock, but before she could say anything, Discord powered through. "Oh good, you've experienced Greed Growth. That saves us a ton of time!" This time Ember found her words much easier. "Wait, you're going to use him to fight!? How'll that help!?" "Well, we need fire power," answered Discord. "If we want Torch to feel young again, he needs to feel challenged. And since we've just proven that a normal dragon won't cut it, I figure, why not try a Greed Growth driven one!" "But I can't change just like that!" Spike cried. "I have to be in a specific mindset…" "You act like I don't have experience changing ponies' mindsets." Discord huffed, staring at him flatly. "Would it work on a dragon though? We're pretty resistant to magic." Again, Discord gave him a flat look. "You're acting as if you aren't talking to one of the most powerful magical creatures since time-- oh to Tartarus with it. Just go crazy!" He poked Spike's head and the baby dragon knew no more.