Chapter 22: Frustrating Family
It wasn’t fair, really. Between the combined body heat of three ponies and a wealth of shared thanksgiving for restoration, the rain cloud hanging over Whisper, his newly remembered brother, and fillyfriend, just couldn’t manage to chill anypony. In fact, the only thing it accomplished was giving the group a rather sizable indoor pool of sorts, though it was a bit shallow and thus was simply used for splashing. Seeing its efforts wasted under the oppressive return of joy, the manifest gloom dissipated, leaving the ponies below to enjoy their soaked reconciliation.
Whisper wasn’t one to stay down in the dumps for long after having spent time around Fluttershy, being made to smile most every time any fear or worry came to mind, and thus found himself excitedly explaining the wonders of his new world. Cerulean laughed in the quiet stallion’s stead as he recounted the joy of using a shower, the horror of the dreaded microwave, and perhaps his most favorite magical contraption, the television. His fascination for the picture box was almost rivaled with his amazement for Cerulean’s magic, which was entirely new to him, having stayed away from other ponies and thus not having much exposure to it. So, when Cerulean looked around at the sizable pool of water that was still slowly expanding its borders and froze it solid, Whisper couldn’t help but stop, gawk, and freak out.
Traction, however, is severely diminished under such wintery conditions, so as he attempted to explore his chilly new playground, the quickly found himself sliding slowly not on his hooves, but his back, laying in a daze and not quite sure how the ceiling had swapped places with the floor. His confusion was compounded by a chuckling blue stallion who, clearly defying the laws of gravity further with his magic, appeared standing over him with a mischievous grin pasted on muzzle, a fact which struck Whisper as strangely aggravating.
“You always did have problem rushing around everyplace,” Cerulean teased, offering a helping hoof. Whisper instead crossed his hooves across his chest and stared back stubbornly from his altered perspective.
“I didn’t rush anyplace. Why’d you make the floor attack me, Cerulean? That’s mean!”
“Hey, you stepped on it. Not my fault it got angry.” Knowing that kisses make things happy, and suddenly sorry for his woeful mistreatment of the fragile ice, he gently rolled over onto his stomach and gave it a lick. A very long lick, in fact, freezing nearly the entirety of his tongue to the frigid surface and leaving the stallion pondering whether to shoot his brother a wicked glare or plead for the ice to let go. “Careful, Whisper. You’re going to make Fluttershy jealous.”
Having a brother is frustrating! “I’m not kissing it like I do Fluttershy, ok? Why would anypony kiss with their tongue? Tongues are for tears, not lips, even I know that! Now let... me... go!” Fluttershy, come on, say something! His savior’s intercession was not necessary, however, as Cerulean reached over and melted the ice clinging to Whisper’s tongue, landing him yet again on his back as his release came without warning, though fortunately this time he found Fluttershy occupying the ceiling and not the infuriating blue stallion snickering a few hoof lengths away. “Fluttershy, Cerulean’s not being nice. Make him be nice.”
“Ok, Whisper. Cerulean? Be nice to your brother.”
“Fluttershy, anypony who has brothers or sisters knows that I am acting well within my rights as the elder sibling. Besides, I’m disappointed in you. You clearly haven’t been teaching Whisper properly.”
“What? What do you mean? I’ve been teaching him lots of things!” she defended, asserting her confidence and preparing to give him a list. The mental compilation came to an abrupt halt as Cerulean repeated Whisper’s stance on the proper use of a tongue, leaving the stallion nodding sagely and one embarrassed mare who hadn’t even thought of “teaching” that to her stallion, likely because she hadn’t yet “learned” by experience herself.
Man, Rainbow Dash would kill me for this... Oh well. I have sixteen years of teasing to catch up on. Confident in his rights as the older brother, he disregarded the possibility of volatile altercations with a feisty pregnant mare and continued. “Normally, I’d suggest letting Miss Cheerilee handle the teaching, but in this case I think you’ll make a fine tutor. Don’t give him too many lessons, though. It may be... too much for him to handle.”
I can’t let him just have his way like this! Come on, Fluttershy, think. Sadly, Fluttershy’s attempt at retaliation quickly back-lashed, leaving the mare too mortified to speak further. “I bet you won’t be laughing when you get to teach Whisper about wrestling!”
“Wrestling? Have Big Mac teach him, he’s better at it,” Cerulean replied, dismissively waving a hoof. It wasn’t until he saw Fluttershy’s face turn deep crimson to match Whisper’s eyes that he realized there may have been more to the statement than first thought. “Wait, you don’t mean...”
“Fluttershy? I don’t want anypony to teach me about wrestling but you. Don’t make me wrestle Cerulean, please!” Begrudgingly coming to the conclusion that things were getting out of hoof, Cerulean began trotting over to apologize when Whisper quickly stood between the two, staring back defiantly. “No! You can’t wrestle with Fluttershy, and you can’t wrestle with me! Go wrestle with Big Mac!” Cerulean blanched, shaking his head vigorously to rid himself of a few dark memories before heaving a long sigh. He really did have quite the task ahead of him, and he didn’t relish the idea of being the one to give his brother “the talk,” but seeing Fluttershy, he knew there was just no way she was going to be the one doing the explaining, and he took small comfort in knowing that he wouldn’t have to worry about that with the two anytime soon.
Twilight couldn’t remember the last time she had felt invertigo, normally staying either grounded or teleporting wherever she needed to go. She and Spike were having a grand time splurging on ice cream after a rather successful afternoon of magic practice, during which Spike was rewarded with his favorite moustache, when she was suddenly yanked from her seat and jubilantly given an unrequested flight. It wasn’t that she minded flight, no, it was a rather thrilling sensation made even more gratifying by the necessary proximity to the exultant stallion that was too beside himself to notice her discomfort due to having a stomach full of ice cream. Quickly casting the cloud walking spell, he dive bombed into the fluffy mass with a soft puff, standing over Twilight was a joy she had only seen expressed a few times.
“Cerulean, what’s got you so...” she started, her elation already growing inside as she beheld his beaming features.
“He remembered...” Twilight eyes grew wide, daring to hope he meant what she thought he did.
“You mean...” Nearly in tears yet again, Cerulean nodded vigorously and was promptly embraced by a now equally ecstatic mare who knew exactly what this meant. “This is wonderful, Cerulean! I’m so glad...” That’s one more hole filled... But I have to wonder, Cerulean, how many pieces still remain missing in your heart... Shaking her head to rid herself of such dampening thoughts, she accepted a rather sudden, eager, passionate display of affection that quite nicely robbed her of breath.
“I’m sorry,” Cerulean said with a low chuckle, “I get that way when I’m excited. I’ll let you go back to your time with Spike. How are things on that end, Twilight?” he asked, pulling back and letting her sit up.
“They seem fine, for now at least... I still think that he needs to make friends, but I’d like... to enjoy having him to myself for just a little while longer.” I still haven’t brought up his parents since that one night, but bringing it up when he’s so happy... I couldn’t possibly do that.
“Come on, Twilight, out with it. Whatever’s got your mind so wrapped up when you’re inches from a very giving stallion is going to spell out disaster if you hold it in.”
“Subtle as always, Cerulean,” Twilight chuckled, trailing off as she shot him an apologetic glance before diving in. “I was just... wondering if you’d like to talk about your parents soon.” A frown, a grimace, something that indicated displeasure was the only thing Twilight expected to receive, so when she instead received almost mocking laughter, her mind swiftly filed an error report, sent it to the archives to gather dust since there wasn’t possibly any understanding it, and resumed usual duties, smiling patiently and waiting for a coherent answer.
“You know... I’m actually glad you asked right now, because it’s likely one of the only times that it wouldn’t bring me down. At least, not for long. Having Jade back... nothing’s going to keep me down today.” Ok, deep breath, and here... we... go. “My last... memory of home was just a week before I left for the Canterlot Magic Academy. My mother, Clarity, wasn’t home, as expected, nor was Crimson, who was likely off doing what she normally was... trying to find somepony to bed with for the night.” Despite his best efforts, his mood took a turn for the somber, and while painful, no tears came. Twilight immediately drew up beside him, chancing a glance at vacant, distant eyes reliving things he clearly wanted nothing to do with.
“My father, Heartscribe, has a debilitating stutter that nopony can fix. He was mocked and ridiculed, not just for his impediment but also his somewhat... soft features, much like Whisper. Didn’t help that he’s pink,” Cerulean muttered, a bitter laugh choking out as a cough. Cerulean raised his eyes to the sky as he continued. “That guy is a hopeless romantic. You know how he won my mother’s heart, what little time that lasted? Love notes.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, but I am! Old-fashioned, mushy, eloquent poetry to woo his mare. My father has an amazing way with all things written, even getting a few books published. He sent his notes in secret for the longest time, and when they finally did meet, they made a promise. She swore that his stutter would never come between them, and just a short year later, they married and my mother conceived with Crimson.”
“That’s so sweet! So... what...”
“She lied.” His voice was so laden with bitterness and resentment that Twilight could swear she tasted it. “Time went on, and soon my father’s notes weren’t enough. At first, she tried to help him with his speech privately, but it didn’t work. She didn’t even have to push, because after that he went to every speech therapist, magical physician... even a few mystics, but nopony could help. My mother...” He stopped as her hooves shifted him onto his back, and a comforting heat brought the creeping cold in his limbs to a halt as she lay beside him. “Thank you...” Twilight simply nodded and waited for him to continue. “Shortly after Jade disappeared, she stopped reading the notes... The more my father was ignored, the more he wrote, desperate to fix the situation. It was all he could do, and he tried every day, but my mother refused to accept anything other than spoken words...”
“That’s terrible... how could she just shun him like that?”
“True to her name, Clarity... was very skilled when it came to intonation. She didn’t have the dexterity to play an instrument, but she could tune one better than a veteran of twenty years in the concert hall. Song writers would come to her for advice, and within moments she could turn a good piece into a marvel. That’s probably why being able to hear his words spoken were so damn important to her, but... eventually, it seems she gave up. She was never around, and I never asked, but if I had to take a guess... She was probably having her ears, and who knows what else, tickled wherever she could find it. She was always gone...”
“Wait you mean she... with other ponies?”
“I can't say for sure. I just know she was gone a lot. I remember... walking into my father’s study the day I left. His desk, the floor, the bed: everything was covered with sheets of paper as he furiously scribbled over at his desk. He didn’t even look up as I entered, and as he finished a page, he tossed it to the floor, grabbed a new one, and started fresh. That’s how desperate...” He squeezed tighter, worried about the chill Twilight was no doubt suffering on his account but thankful for her open expression of care, ignoring the discomfort for his benefit.
“I asked him why he continued, why he didn’t just let go and leave. Crimson was old enough to move away, and Clarity could definitely find all manner of male hosts to house her, so I asked him why. He slowly moved the sheet of paper aside, grabbed a fresh one, and wrote a single sentence. ‘When you find love, you’ll know.’”
“Even after...”
“Being broken to pieces, and likely cheated on countless times? Yes... He wouldn’t let go, not for anypony, regardless of the pain that he could no doubt escape if he allowed himself to leave. I got... really angry, started yelling about how she was unworthy of such devotion. He sat there and took it, never wrote a single rebuttal, but when I tried to start tearing up the papers that littered the room, he... pinned me the ground, and barely managed to speak the word ‘no.’ That’s... the last time I saw him. I just wanted... to see him happy... My mother may have some pathetic reason why she acts like this, but... nothing could possibly justify... the torture she’s putting my father through.”
Twilight sat in careful contemplation of everything Cerulean had revealed, sifting through the data and attempting to read deeper. He was right that both ponies were likely hurting, but to completely cast aside repeated attempts at reconciliation because it wasn’t in a form deemed acceptable? Twilight would admit she had been horrible to Cerulean, but when she was confronted with the reality of the toll her actions were having, she resolved to let nothing like it ever happen again. For his mother to callously disregard the only expression of love a pony could muster... It filled her with rage, not just because of how it had made Cerulean suffer, but because, for a time, she had done the same.
“So, now you know why I don’t want to go home, and why I don’t... want Jade to have to see whatever has become of them...”
“Do you hate her, Cerulean?” It was an unexpected question, and Twilight was willing to accept his answer either way, but she was secretly relieved to hear his response, despite her anger with his mother.
“You have... no idea how badly I want to, but I... I just can’t. Clarity doesn’t bucking deserve anything from me, but I can’t... bring myself to hate her. I only want to see my father happy again, and if that means... the both of them reconciling, then...”
“Then we’ll find a way to fix it, even if that means sending your mother to the moon! Just say the word, Cerulean. I’m sure it can be arranged.” Soft, genuine laughter slowly grew as Twilight’s optimism and frightening seriousness contained within what most would laugh off as an idle threat flooded Cerulean with a deep appreciation for his wife’s unfailing support.
“I may have to take you up on that.”
“Cerulean, you know that...” He gently put a hoof over her mouth, holding it for just a moment before placing it again on her back.
“Eventually... yes, I will have to face them, likely with Jade and Crimson.”
“Don’t think for a second I’m staying behind in the library while you run off back to Canterlot.” He opened his mouth to offer some feeble protest but was immediately given a lavender pacifier tasting of hoof. “No arguments. I’m going, that’s final. Besides, I’m sure Cadence wouldn’t mind sitting Dawn.”
“Yes, I guess you’re... oh, Celestia...” Cerulean’s groan and subsequent covering of his face was only vaguely worrisome, at least until he spoke up again, peering up at the mare across his chest with one eye. “Twilight... you didn’t hear any screams, explosions, or sense large magical distortions while I was away, did you?”
“Cerulean, where’s our daughter?” Cerulean swallowed a refreshing breath of air, hoping it wouldn't be his last.
“I may have broken Parenting Rule number thirteen.”
“Thirteen... no, you didn’t...” Twilight whispered, more worried for the town’s safety than angry at his woeful breach of their honored code. “You really let Pinkie foal-sit? Why the hay would you do that?”
“It was only supposed to be for a little while, but...”
“It doesn’t matter, come on!” Mothering alert klaxons blaring in her ears, Twilight took no time to readjust or give Cerulean any warning before teleporting them, still in a laying position, to Sugarcube Corner, earning them mixed looks of disgust and exasperated acceptance, the duo being somewhat infamous after Twilight’s pregnancy for all manner of strange, unexpected, and downright disturbing happenstances. Ignoring the Cakes’ cheerful salutations and disregarding the possibility of the twins being asleep, the frantic parents ascended the stairs, bolted to Pinkie’s room, braced themselves for expected, bizarre disaster, and opened the door to find a scene that neither of them could have conjured, even after a little too much at the tavern.
Not chaos, nor disorder, nor mayhem, nor any other thing pertaining to what usually happened when Dawn was foal-sat by anypony not on the list, the only one making that cut being Princess Cadence, was present in a shockingly organized room. Even more startling, borderline disturbing, was that Pinkie was sleeping. Sleeping, during the day, with one hoof draped over Dawn, who was busy trying to out-snore the mare, which wouldn’t have been all the difficult since she was, well, nearly silent. Twilight and Cerulean stood in the doorway for a time, unable to explain nor comprehend the scene, though it was Twilight who broke the silence some time later.
“I didn’t think I’d ever say this, because I just couldn't fathom it before, but I can almost imagine Pinkie being a mother, seeing her like this,” Twilight murmured, shaking her head lightly in disbelief and barely managing to keep from shouting as a single one of Pinkie’s eyes snapped open, scrutinized the pair, and closed once more. Twilight didn’t have time to think of anything to say before the mare all but levitated, leaping to her hooves and waking a grumpy Dawn with her usual exuberance.
“Well, duh! Of course you couldn’t imagine it, Twilight! I don’t have a special somepony to bed wrestle with! Grrr!” Dawn was not amused by the mare’s chortles and feebly gave her a weak smack on the hoof for her volume, which failed to make it through to the mare. “Thanks for letting me play with Dawn, Cerulean! We had loads of fun. And cake! And brownies. Oh, and candy!” Unhappy that her warning had been ignored, Dawn lazily took a snap at Pinkie’s hoof, though living with a toothless crocodile, the motion didn’t even register for the mare who deftly flipped the sleepy filly onto her head and offered the child back to her parents.
“Pinkie, how did... but she...”
“She’s way more fun to entertain than the twins. I mean, do you know how hard it is to make them laugh? Talk about a tough crowd! Anytime you need a sitter, I can totally help you out, ok?”
“Cannon... fun...” Dawn muttered sleepily, attempting to mimic the noise of an explosion but was interrupted by a yawn. Cerulean stared at his daughter moment before his irises shrank from the sudden expansion due to past memories and terror that Dawn had consumed Pinkie’s special ingredient.
“Pinkie, you didn’t feed her any... cotton candy, did you?”
“Huh? Oh, nonono, I wouldn’t give that stuff to anypony, not after I learned it makes ponies go crazy. Seriously, who knew?”
“Just about every pegasus in existence,” Twilight muttered, thankful that the filly loosely wrapped around her neck hadn’t delved into such brain-bending things like de-colored rainbow. Again, she pulls off the impossible. Well, as long as Dawn’s ok and the bakery is still standing, I guess I don’t have any room to complain. “Thank you for taking care of Dawn, Pinkie Pie. You did a great job, and we’ll see about trying it again.”
“Woohoo! Bye Dawn, have fun! See ya!” she called out, waving as the family departed. Her hoof slowed to a stop and sank back down to the floor as the door latched and she once more found herself alone. Her hair gradually lost its frizz, straightening and falling around her shoulders as she trotted back to bed, laying down and drawing the covers up to her chin. I’m sorry, everypony, but your smiles will have to wait...
Wax, colored with every hue of the visible spectrum and fashioned into easily wielded sticks that, while tasting quite bland, gave Whisper no end of excitement, having the ability to transfer their brilliance to the sheets of paper set before him. He was just about to put the finishing touches on his latest masterpiece, dedicated solely to the colors yellow and pink, when the door swung open, prompting the swift inhalation and subsequent consumption of the crayon, causing him to sputter a moment before bolting for the safety of bed. Crimson stood shocked in the doorway for a time, expecting an embrace, not terror.
I thought... Cerulean said he had remembered? “Whisper? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Can I come in?”
Hey, I know that voice. I can hear it in my mind when I think about the beach... Edging forward, he poked his head out around the doorway just enough to make eye contact with the mare respectfully maintaining her distance. “Um... Fluttershy isn’t home right now... She went to get food, I think.” Even with that memory, without Fluttershy here, it’s... still a little scary.
“I came to see my little brother, not Fluttershy.” It’s still just like before. He always did like Cerulean best...
“I guess you can come inside.” Continuing to peer out from within the imagined safety of Fluttershy’s room, he watched the mare enter and carefully close the door, trotting over and hesitating, stopping a good distance away.
“Are you... still afraid of me?”
“Just a little...” Crimson nodded, hanging her head slightly as expectation tussled with reality. “I’m sorry, don’t be sad. I really am trying.”
“I know, Whisper. Don’t worry about it.” I always felt left out in the cold when he was with Cerulean, even if he didn’t treat me any differently. I know I want... something, but what?
But I do worry, Crimson. If you’re really my sister, like I remember, then I shouldn’t be afraid... I can’t keep hiding like this. I promised Fluttershy I’d try, and even though it hasn’t been a week yet, if I can’t bring myself to be near my own sister, who I remember, then how am I going to meet brand new ponies?
“Are these your pictures?” Filled with determination and instantly excited about his gifts to the art community, Whisper trotted over with minimal difficulty and plopped down next to his sister, who was sifting through them with affectionate amusement. To label them “abstract” would be like calling her previous way of life “suggestive,” most of the pages just random blobs of color, some of them mixing together and forming new hues less pleasing to the eye.
“Uh huh! Drawing is lots of fun. The wax things, crayons, I think, don’t taste very good, but that’s ok because they make pretty colors!”
“Do they mean something?”
“Oh, sure! Like... this one! This is that feeling you get in your stomach when somepony kisses your nose! And... that one there is when I was sleeping for a long time.” Crimson stared at the page, colored nearly entirely in black save a small white spot in the center. The yellow and pink one was fairly self-explanatory, but as she started to make the connections between colors and emotions in his drawing, she stopped and stared as she lifted a sheet from the rest with her magic, covered in sweeping arcs of blue, green, and red.
“Is this...”
“That’s our family! You, me, and Cerulean.”
He cares... even though he’s just today remembered, he cares... I think... that’s what I really wanted to know, Whisper. At that moment, Crimson felt more appreciated by Whisper than any time prior, and she couldn’t help but tackle him to the ground in a massive hug. It was sudden, unexpected, and he very nearly let out a cry of alarm, but the happiness he could sense within the uncomfortably tight embrace gave him pause, calming his anxieties and bidding him return the motion, though he made a point of keeping it light, seeing that she wasn’t Fluttershy. Crimson eased her embrace a little, ignoring the tiny few tears that were gently rolling down her muzzle and pulling back enough to look her brother in the eye. “Thank you, Whisper. You’ve... given me something special today.”
She’s happy... but crying. Like Fluttershy did! But, should I just ignore it? Or do I lick them away? Fluttershy only said wrestling was restricted to special someponies, so it should be ok. Convinced of his logic and oblivious to the fact that Fluttershy was standing in the doorway attempting to decipher what kind of gift exactly Crimson had received in her absence, he graciously began lapping away the mare’s tears.
“Crimson!” Whisper hastily retracted his tongue as angry Fluttershy took the mike, her muzzle not quite twisted into a sneer, but definitely a frightening scowl. “Just what kind of ‘gift’ did you give Crimson, Whisper?”
Wait, she thinks I was... No! Crimson was hastily shoved away as Whisper beat a swift retreat into Fluttershy’s room, slamming the door and pulling the covers over his head. “No, I didn’t! I didn’t wrestle with Crimson, Fluttershy, honest! I’m not ready to be a daddy!”
“You better not have been wrestling, Whisper! You’ll be in a lot of trouble if I ever... only with me, do you hear me? Only me!”
“Wow, Fluttershy,” Crimson tittered, laying on her back where she had been cast aside, “you’re quite territorial with your stallion, aren’t you? That’s fine, I’m sure you’ll take very good care of my brother, seeing how you’re already turning him into quite the passionate stallion. Keep him on a short leash, all right?” Shooting her stunned friend a wink and giving her a pat on the back as she left, Crimson disappeared with a flash of magic, leaving Fluttershy with just one thought: siblings are terribly frustrating.