Session 37.0 Mtangalion
Shining Armor was with Cadence in their royal apartments, reading through Twilight's latest thirty-page roleplaying feedback letter, when there came a sharp rapping at the door. He glanced at Cadence, who shrugged, then trotted over to go answer it.
The door swung open in Shining's magic, leaving the prince face to face with a large and regal-seeming griffon. He had reddish-brown fur and glossy black feathers.
Shining hesitated. "Um... do I know you?"
The griffon clicked his beak. "Gerulf, Prince Armor. You might have glimpsed my face from your balcony, though it would have been quite a lot larger."
When Shining remembered the angry mob of giants who'd been besieging the castle, his first impulse was to yelp and slam the door.
Cadence was suddenly there beside Shining, though, calming him with a nuzzle. She leaned out and frowned thoughtfully, seeing some of their crystal pony guards passed out in the hallway. "And what can we do for the Grand Griffons today, Sir Gerulf?"
Gerulf stood up straighter, puffing his feathers up. "Princess Cadence, my fellows have sent me to negotiate on their behalf, partly because I was judged the most reasonable of our assembly."
"A griffon?" asked Shining Armor, honestly curious. "You're the most reasonable one?"
"That's speciesist," said Gerulf. "I don't know what I expected, really."
"Hey! I'm not..."
"But mostly, they sent me because I have this." Gerulf tapped the teeny-tiny Idol of Astra on a chain around his neck. The griffon cleared his throat. "The allied force of giants offers to declare peace and forswear righteously stomping the Crystal Empire out of existence, and in exchange, you will return our leaders to us and... call off your hatchling."
Cadence blinked. "What... they're still here?!"
Gerulf sighed, shrugging his wings. "Words can't do it justice. Come, see for yourselves."
They followed him quietly into the nursery next door, and there was Flurry Heart clapping her little hooves gleefully, sitting at a table with Sunburst and several of the maids, all of them playing Crystals and Rainbows with doll-sized ponies, deer, and minotaurs for game pieces. Seismos himself appeared to be serving as Flurry Heart's token... he was glaring daggers at all of them, but wisely keeping his mouth shut.
"Thank goodness you're here, Princess!" exclaimed Sunburst, looking exhausted. "I tried to smuggle her new 'toys' out of the castle, but Flurry woke up and started crying every time. Then they tried to hold me hostage, but she shrank them to gnat size and..."
"I think I'm getting the picture," said Cadence, with a patient smile that was her best impression of Auntie Celestia's. "Don't giggle, Shiny. It's unbecoming. And send for a scribe." She loomed over the game table. "By all means, let's talk."
Session 37.1 BrutalityInc, and SomeRandomMinion
"Now, have we all calmed down?" Shining Armour asked the colossal beings standing before the balcony of the Crystal Palace.
"Yes, we're calmed." Prince Geri of the Mountain Jotunns rumbled. The other giant royals nodded.
It hasn't been easy, but Pinkie had managed to coax Flurry Heart to restore them to their 'normal' sizes. It helped immensely for the Giants to accept the terms for the non-aggression pact/peace treaty Princess Cadence negotiated. Meanwhile, the rest of the allied horde of Giants they brought with them had regrouped, and returned to back them up.
"Good, now that's the case, we can discuss this in a more civilized manner." Shining continued, which caused some of the Giants present to either bristle or roll their eyes at the implied slight, "Now, what seemed to be the problem with our 'March of the Giants' module?"
They spent the next hour or two laying down all the faults and problems they found in the module that drove them to lay siege on the Crystal Empire, sometimes speaking over one another and shouting in outrage, but otherwise, their Giants' temperaments are kept in check by the threat of Flurry Heart in Princess Cadence's embrace.
"Right, so if I'm understanding this correctly, the features you found offensive boil down to either feeling under-represented, or not being properly represented?" Shining concluded.
"The rest of my siblings and our subjects feared our honorable and noble culture would be overshadowed by that of the more ill-tempered fellows." Gerulf explained.
"I emphasize again that we are not pony-eating monsters." King Occulus of the Cyclops remarked.
"But that's all besides the point!" The loud and boisterous Warlord Seismos of the Gigantes thundered, "Just look at some of these characters you written in your game! This insult to our image is disgraceful!"
"You mean you don't do any of the things the myths and legends says you do?" Shining quipped.
Seismos snarled, "That's not what I meant! Yes, we wrecked kingdoms. Yes, we stomped armies. And yes, we even ate many smaller folks - " That earned him an annoyed look from King Occulus, " - but these are just going too far with the stereotypes!"
Shining raised an eyebrow at this, "Well, you aren't helping your case here, acting like you're going to do all of that to the Crystal Empire over a campaign module!"
Seismos facehoofed, "No, we are not doing any of that here..."
"Wait, we aren't?" A random giant from the back of the crowd muttered. There was a sound of a hoof smacking the back of someone's head, "Ow!"
"I for one am personally offended that you associate me with the less pleasant Giants, Shining-San." Queen Supia of the Neighpon hive deadpanned, surrounded by a swarm of her Changeling bodyguards, "Not all of us subjugate or devour smaller races on a weekly basis, you know."
"Sorry..." Shining muttered, "And may I ask what you are doing here?"
"Well, I would love having a character in the game myself, but mostly I'm here, on Gerulf's advice, to keep these hotheaded Bakas in line. Along with my two lovely daughters."
And indeed, standing just a head-and-neck shorter than Supia, the two changeling heiress are lovely. One was dressed for war like Supia is, and the other... She wears a snazzy business-dress, and a name tag in neighponese declaring she's, quite literally, 'The biggest lawyer on the planet!'.
"Say, nice dress you got there!" Princess Cadence commented.
"Thank you, Ojo-sama!" Said giant changeling princess/lawyer replied cheerfully, "I got it from a Pony Grande friend! She said it came from Ponyville... I didn't know ponies can make such good clothes fit for our sizes! Maybe we should visit Ponyville for more orders after this is done..."
Meanwhile in Ponyville, Rarity suddenly felt a foreboding feeling of dread.
"My point is, this expedition isn't my idea!" Queen Supia concluded.
Shining asked, "Then who's?"
"That would be Chief Cawr, I believe." Prince Geri supplied.
Seismos looked around, "Speaking of which... Where is that cloud-giant?"
= = =
Meanwhile, in a certain embassy, Chief Cawr found himself bounded by heavy titanium chains, glaring towards his captor standing on his muzzle.
"You will not get away with this, bug pony! When I break out of these chains and inform the rest of my clan, it'll be dinner time for your hive!" Cawr threatened.
Queen Chrysalis merely smirked contemptuously. "Tell yourself that all you want, foolish oversized buffoon. While you languish here, the horde of Giants that I manipulated under your guise into a warpath would do my dirty work of crushing the Crystal Empire for me!"
Cawr snarled back defiantly, "I will give you to my youngest daughter as a TOY, parasite! You'll spend the rest of your life in imaginary tea parties and living in a jar, getting spanked with a POPSICLE STICK whenever she gets mad at you. And IF you're lucky, she won't just get bored with you in an afternoon and flatten you underhoof. And if her MOTHER decides you're not appropriate for her..."
Queen Chrysalis rolled her eyes, "Your 'I'll make you suffer' speech is amateur material. What if your brat adores her new pet and pampers me, eh? What then?"
Cawr blinks, realizing he hadn't thought of that, "She... She could still step or sit on you by accident...." Cawr then thought of something. "Of course, I and my wife can make use of you ourselves."
Queen Chrysalis raised an eyelid, "Oh, and what would that be?"
He told her.
"GAH! Be silent!" Queen Chrysalis shouted, absolutely disgusted.
"We're giants! What did you expect?" Cawr gave a leery grin, "Not so smug now, are you? Wait until I am free to bring the whirlwind down upon your hive. And who knows what my fellow giant friends have planned in mind for you, if they ever found out you set them up for a war with the Crystal Empire! And if you think what I have in mind is so bad...maybe I should just give you to dear Supia instead?" Cawr quipped. "I'm sure she wouldn't make you suffer such an... undignified fate. She may be the most 'civilised' of us giants, by the standards of you tinies anyway."
Chrysalis paled, remembering when her titanic sister confronted her with an oversized paddle. Supia had almost casually mentioned wanting to devour her alive.... And she was the "nicest" of the giants by far!
If any of them got hold of her, heaven forbid that barbarian, Seismos....
Chrysalis shuddered, but sneered down at Cawr. "But YOU'RE the one in chains. So all your... threats are just empty words!"
Carr just kept smiling, "Just you wait, little Queen. I'm sure we'll have fun with you soon enough..."
Queen Chrysalis grimaced. This might not had been a great idea after all, she thought.
= = =
"In any case, I have a proposal that could not only resolve this issue, but might benefit us all..." Shining began, "This had been a great misunderstanding, caused by the fact that we ponies and other 'smaller' races don't know much about you lot, leaving us only horror stories an distorted myths to work on. In fact, I don't think many ponies even know you are all real."
"However..." Shining continued, "We'll be happy to have you helping us as consultants to make a more accurate and better product - which would include a sizable cut in profits. And if you can help us promote said game - showing Equestria and the rest of the world that you are very real, and can be friendly - said profits could be immense, once everypony rushes to buy them!"
"Just think, in a single stroke, you'll not only get a lot of money, you'll be establishing more amiable relationships with the rest of the world, which I'm pretty certain would be open to plenty of trade!" Shining concluded. "So, what do you say?"
The eyes of all giant royalty present widened, almost as if hearing a cashier machine's distinctive 'Ka-ching!' at the back of their minds. "Would you excuse us for one minute?" Gerulf requested.
"Seriously?" Princess Cadence muttered as the Giants huddled amongst themselves to discuss the proposal.
"If there's anything I have learnt whilst spending time with Blueblood," Shining remarked, "it's that if everything else fails, appealing to a creature's basest instincts, like greed, always works."
"We find your proposal... acceptable." King Occulus spoke for all the Giants present.
"That's great to hear, we'll work out the details of the deal once we have a finalised draft." Shining replied, "But until then, will you all promise not to attack the Crystal Empire again?"
"We promise, on our honor." Gerulf assured, "There won't be another giant attack anytime soon!"
Just then, a pillar of flame roared, then faded, in the snowbound fields some distance away from the outskirts of the Crystal Empire. Even from the Crystal Castle, however, they could see clearly the gigantic figures that emerged out of the flames.
They all wore metal armor that glowed orange from the heat radiating from their bodies. Embers shone from the flesh beneath their corvine fur. Flames and smoke columns writhed from their antlers. Their redden, madden eyes danced with bloodlust as the giant deers snarled and telekinetically readied their soot-blackened weapons.
One of them towered over the rest, three to five times taller, in fact. He wore a terrible, burning royal battle helm in addition to his armor, and wielded a flaming sword that seem to able to cut mountain-tops in single swipes.
Everyone present who knew recognised him immediately the moment they saw it. For Prince Geri of the Jotunns, he was a nightmare that his people are all too familiar with.
"Leave us out of your game, you dare?!" He roar, voice echoing with power, flames and ashes spewing from his maw. He swung his sword, pointing its tip towards the Crystal Empire, "I, King Surtr of the Fire Jotunns, will see your realm burnt to cinders for this aff...!!"
He paused as he beheld the horde of other Giants - many other Jotunns included - within or near the boundaries of the Empire staring back at him with shock. A horde which happen to outnumber him and his bloodthirsty warriors by a considerable margin.
"... Is this a bad time?" He deadpanned.
Session 37.2 Alex Warlorn
Chief Cawr said, "So we're in agreement. The cloud-giants will keep the other giant tribes off your abdomen, and in exchange, if, heh, excuse me, 'when' you conquer Equestria, we will be given Cloudsdale as a summer villa with a staff of ponies servants and the material goods of Los Pegasus."
"Just sign your drop of blood on this dotted line, and we'll have this non-aggression pact sealed." Dagon said as the cloud giant did as requested, the drop blood splattering the giant contract, Queen Chrysalis offer a drop of her own blood as a signature. Truth be told, Queen Chrysalis would have promised nearly anything, as long as she didn't have to deal with anymore of these logistically impossible beings for as long as she lived!
"Please continue to use us for all your legal needs." Dagon bowed and returned to the infinite black waters from beyond the outer spheres from which no hope escapes.
-
Discord meanwhile, was flipping through countless stories young ponies had written concerning themselves as epic heroes saving Equestria (and the mane six) from a great more powerful evil.
"So many of these stories reduce me to a joke villain who's crushed or swept out of the way to show how bad-flank their hero or villain is... That's only funny when it happens to Celestia!"
-
"what.... a.... nice.... day for some cookie, hello Mrs cake." Pinkie Pie said. "hey, why am i speaking so badly written?'
Miss Speller laughed evilly and skipped away
"HOW DID MISS SPELLER ESCAPE FROM THE COMIC PAGES?!" Scootaloo exclaimed.
"Ah'm bettin' Discord." Apple Bloom said matter of fact as they chased after her.
"you will never stop Power ponies! not when i have my more deadlier giant tiger!" And she summoned two giant tigers in front of the foals.
"Where's Fluttershy when you need her?!" Scootaloo exclaimed.
"If we get eaten, just know girls, my daddy is so suing enchanted comics." Diamond Tiara said deadpan.
Sweetie Belle spoke in a loud clear voice. "THERE IS NO SUCH AS 'MORE DEADLIER!' It's bad grammar! It's a paradox!"
The tigers blinked, then poofed out of existence.
"drat! and double drat!" Cursed Miss Speller. "you wont escape THIS!"
"What................. she............. doing............" Silver Spoon asked... ......... as........ everything..... took..... forever........ Silver Spoon quickly thought, 'There are only THREE DOTS IN ELLIPSIS! Not two! Not four! No more! No less!' And time resumed its normal place. "Much better!"
"drat! and double drat!"
"Girls! I've got the comic!" Cheerilee shouted holding the Power Ponies Edutainment comic, and hitting Miss Speller in the back with it, causing her to be sucked back into the comic book. Cheerilee breathed a sigh of relief. "Now... have you all learned the importance of good grammar? I sincerely hope?"
"Yes Miss Cheerilee!"
-
Session 37.3 Ardashir and Grogar-the-oneser
Back at Twilight's palace, Chrysalis showed up for her usual weekly bout of 'therapy'. However, the Mane Six had been called out on an emergency; Equestrian weather ponies accidentally sent a cloud flying over Yakyakistan, and Celestia needed Twilight and her friends to stop the Yaks from proclaiming war over the 'insult'.
So Chrysalis arrived to find only Starlight Glimmer and Spike.
"So, the others are off saving Ponykind from its deserved misery again? Whatever shall we do to entertain ourselves?" Chrysalis batted nonexistent eyelashes at Starlight Glimmer. "What, will you tell me one again how 'evil' you are? What did you do this time? Steal candy from a foal?" Starlight began to pale as Chrysalis snickered and said, "Or did you just mind control the Elements of Harmony?"
"Hey, I know a game we can play," Spike said, quickly stepping in. He went straight to the desk he kept his gaming materials in and pulled out a pair of dice. Starlight's eyes went wide as he said with a smile, "It's one I learned a long time ago. It's called Craps. You play it with dice."
"Never heard of it," Chrysalis looked at him narrowly.
"Oh, that's okay," Spike said, the picture of utter innocence. "I can show you."
Chrysalis scowled and walked into the gaming room. Spike grinned and started to follow her.
Starlight seized him with her magic.
"Spike!" She whispered the words. "Twilight told you not to gamble again."
"But I'm not gambling," Spike drew himself up and set his claws on his hips. "Gambling is a game of chance, right?" Starlight nodded. Spike held up the dice. "Well, these novelty dice are loaded, they come up seven every time I throw them. Which means there's no element of chance involved. So it's not gambling!"
He turned and walked into the chamber after Chrysalis. "You bet things in this game. So let's make the bets interesting. Say the Friendship Palace against your hive?"
He gave Starlight a wink as the door closed, cutting off any further words.
Starlight stared after the little scaly hustler and wondered how she would explain this one to Twilight.
"Maybe she won't find out, chrysalis can't be so petty that she complain about being conned by a kid... right?"
+
In One Possible Universe
"Henceforth, anyling who even thinks of talking to a purple skinned baby dragon will be flogged!" Chrysalis said.
"My queen all I asked was why we're building a new embassy even though the old is one still usable," a changeling asked.
"... Shut up!" Chrysalis snapped.
In Another Possible Universe
The Mane Six returned to find a crudely lettered sign reading "Queen Chrysalis' New Embassy" on the friendship castle, Changelings all over the place, Starlight glaring at Spike.
Spike tried to explain to a furious Twilight: "How was I to know she had her own set of dice?"
"Besides the fact she's a notorious liar?!" Twilight snapped.
"... Well maybe that but still," Spike said.
Session 37.4 Ardashir with addition by me (UPDATED!!!!!)
Rarity tilted her head seeing a rather garish trap door in her designer floor. "I never noticed this door before! Now then -- GAH! Alisa! What have you been doing!"
Alisa smiled. "Mistress Rarity, hello! Alisa has been busy making space for her ponysuits. Do they look good?"
Rarity examined one of Nightmare Moon and shuddered. "They're a little too good, dear! I think you have one here for every pony in Ponyville, and some from the rest of Equestria. Wait..." She looked at several that looked like the new Spa Ponies. "You and those Diamond Wolves... You haven't..."
"Diamond Wolves like Miss Aloe and Lotus! They appreciate our helping them while in poynsuits. It also gives wonderful chance to take measurements of ponies for suits later. It is not always Alisa; some of my male and female relatives help out in suits too. And gives their real relatives paid time off."
"Male and female?" Rarity shuddered again. "So wait, that new cherry pink mare named Sakura last week, the one who gave me a massage, was that one a she o-or...?" Rarity Shuddered even harder as Alisa nods and wags her tail.
"He says he thinks you are pretty for mare."
"Ahem. Talking about something else now! Uh, you don't have any here of the Princesses, do you?"
"Of course not, Mistress."
Rarity sighed in relief.
"Alisa keeps them in Diamond Wolf embassy in Canterlot for games there. Mistress? Mistress, do not faint!"
Of course, Celestia loved turning any that dared show up in a costume with the explicit intent of impersonating her into a unicorn mare with her body type. As she demonstrated to the first three she found 'playing Princess' in Canterlot.
"YIPE YIPE YIPE! I'm a pretty mare now! I can never go home to my den!"
Celestia smiled. "Well, if you like, you can join the Palace staff as a maid."
"I could never do that! My life is over!"
"You get full health and dental, three weeks paid vacation, and a room and board in the palace."
"Can I be measured for my maid dress now?"
"Now then," Celestia turned and gave her most winning smile to the two remaining Diamond Wolves, their suits of Luna and Cadence folded on the floor in front of them. "Would you like to remain Wolves? Or would you like to keep playing the 'Wolf game' and get new jobs too?"
Both Diamond Wolves whined and did belly to floor submission postures. Celestia incinerated the suits.
There was also when a changeling spy and a diamond wolf in costume ended up unmasking each other. Mayor Mare and Princess Twilight Sparkle were reaching the end of their ropes with this 'game.'
Session 37.5 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn and Grogar-the-oneser
FLASH BACK!!!!
Alisa lay sprawled out on Rarity's chaise longue, growling faintly.
Rarity gasped loud enough for everyone in the Boutique to hear. "Sweetie Belle! Are you eating that ice cream right out of the carton? Explain yourself, young mare!"
Sweetie froze, caught with carton and spoon floating in her magic, and a dab of ice cream on her cheek. "Um... but Rarity, Starlight said that unicorn fillies need lots of ice cream! It, um, helps their magic come in better. There was a new study in Canterlot and everything!"
"If Starlight Glimmer is certain..." Rarity blinked. "Wait a moment. Alisa? Did Starlight Glimmer really say that?"
Alisa sat up and put on a helpful smile, just in time for Rarity to enter the room. "Of course, mistress! Sweetie is a good filly, she doesn't go telling great big fibs to beloved sister. But after Starlight said that, then Starlight says, 'New study is wrong, and no ponies should believe it!'"
"My goodness! I suppose one really can't believe everything one reads in the papers! What would I do without you?" Rarity magically confiscated the ice cream and trotted back towards the kitchen, not seeing Alisa stick her tongue out at Sweetie behind Rarity's back.
"But?!" Sweetie glared at the Diamond Wolf. "Why are you being such a grouch about this? I thought you would have been having all kinds of fun, making my sister light her dresses on fire, or gallop around town wearing a dog collar and barking. I mean, I'm glad you didn't, but..."
Alisa flopped on the chaise longue again. "Too easy. Game is boring now. No, worse than boring. Alisa feels dirty using mind magic, like... changeling queen!" She shuddered, then rolled onto her back, paws in the air. "Hrm. Hrrrrm..." She nodded to herself. "Alisa will fix."
Sweetie watched Alisa trot into the guest room, then jumped when 'Starlight Glimmer' trotted back out. Starlight opened the front door, then shut it loudly. "Rarity? Are you home? Something's come up."
The sounds of dishes being washed and restacked in the kitchen ceased, and Rarity galloped to the living room to meet them. "What is it, darling? Does something need sewing? Is there another friendship crisis? Whatever you want, just name it!"
While Sweetie stared, open-mouthed, Starlight said, "There's no time to explain. Please, just find the rest of our friends and have everypony meet me at Twilight's castle!"
-
Twilight Sparkle yawned, wandering downstairs. "Spike? Is somepony here? It's a little late for company." She froze at the top of the stairs, seeing the rest of her friends lined up in a row, like soldiers waiting for inspection, and Starlight Glimmer pacing in front of them.
She cleared her throat. "From now on, I, Starlight Glimmer, want each of you to behave just as you would if I had never cast that mind-control spell on you." Starlight walked away, ducking into an alcove, and Alisa padded out, right past Twilight. "You're welcome."
"So let's Chillax already!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
"Oh my! Where did all my hurt animal friends go?! Did they wander off?! Do they not like me anymore!?"
"Where's Starlight? We still have that dress to do!"
"And we still need to organize all the family photos... I've got a lotta stories to tell!"
"And I know it'll be fun baking a cake without Mrs. Cake telling her that using magic for baking is bad!"
"Uh-oh." Princess Twilight said.
- One explanation of the farce later -
Alisa asked, "Why did you change it back?"
Starlight, "Because I am NOT taking the easy way out and having them FORGET that I did that to them! It's just another quick fix solution! And I am DONE with those for my friends! Besides! The spell is already GOING To wear off thanks to Twilight pulling it out already by the roots! This is just the left overs! Also. Please burn that costume of me. Or I have royal permission to test out 'persona transmute actuality' on you!"
"I no listen to one who use mind magic like bug queen!"
"AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT! My friends feel like I BETRAYED THEM! And... And... I need to see my therapist."
-
"So tell me more about this spell." Asked her psychologist as she lay on the couch. His partner nearby taking notes.
"I'm so used to MAKING ponies get along, I think I fell back on just what I knew best. I think seeing all that chaos between friends was like a trigger and-"
"No no no, I mean, how did you cast it? What were the details? Can you write out the formula?"
Thorax then stuck his head through the Window, "Oh hi Bore and Needle, what are you guys doing here?"
"What?" Starlight asked.
"Err... ah a changeling, terrifying!" One of the therapist screamed in a fake tone.
"Ahh you guys can't fool me, you used those two disguises back during the hive pre-invasion party," Thorax stated.
The second therapist slapped the first upside the head. "I told you we shouldn't show our specially designed disguise at the party, but no... you wanted to show off!"
"How was I suppose to know the traitor had a ally in mind controlling? Usually traitor tend to avoid ponies likes that," The first snapped back. The two glared at one another before reverting to there real form and began beating the stuffing out of one another.
Thorax asked, "So you know mind magic?... I uh, kinda suck at it... are you giving lessons?"
"NO!"
"... Okay."
Doctor Needle Worm calmed down and spoke to Starlight, "In my defense... I am a licensed psychologist and naturalized citizen of Equestria. And talking about your problems is a good way to help relieve stress. And since we're outside of the Crystal Empire, Princess Cadence hypothetically speaking, could not use this as a 'third strike' since hypothetically speaking, Her Majesty's lawyers have said they have a legitimate case for false accusations to bring before the Cosmic Council, hypothetically. And if you abandon our session due to me and Bore Worm being a changeling, the papers will hypothetically have 'Princess' Student is a Racist' on their front pages by this evening."
Starlight eyes glowed. "Then let me give you a first hoof experiences." -KA-ZAP!- "NOW HEAR MY VOICE AND LISTEN! It's against patient/doctor confidentiality to share such details wouldn't it? Therefore, you can't reveal anything during this session yes?"
"Whatever you say Starlight Glimmer." The changelings replied obediently.
"Good, now I command you to act of your own will but to heed everything I just said as if it was your own idea."
"Whatever you say Starlight Glimmer... " 'Her Majesty is going to kill me.' They thought.
"Why do we even bother any more? Have ANY of Her Madjesty's plans actually worked in the past decade?"
"Can you be our queen? The mutation cocoon is a lot more pleasant than it sounds!"
"NO!"
Session 37.6 Ardashir, Grogar-The-Oneser and Alex Warlorn
Twilight was writing down some ideas for the next O&O adventure when she heard voices raised in argument outside the room. Curious, she went to look and saw Starlight facing off with Spike.
"It's for their own good!" Starlight snorted. "Those films are blood-soaked, sadistic garbage. Who even likes that, griffons?" She waved her hoof in dismissal at the pile of thick magazines Spike held in his scaly hands along with the day's newspapers. "They're even worse than those sleazy 'pulps' you keep leaving all over the castle."
"Hey!" Spike snorted fire. "Don't you mock my reading material. At least you haven't tried to censor them yet."
Starlight's horn glowed. Spike yelled as one of the magazines came out of his claws and hung to display the cover art of a leggy and saucy mare with an oddly familiar amethyst mane and tail, being borne down a dark cave away from pursuers by a muscular dragon. The mare was bound and gagged, and the title read, Weird Wonder Tales.
"They'll be next," Starlight said coldly. "Those images of mares are nothing for colts to be seeing." She lifted her head and looked proud. "Besides, I and the mothers of Equestria have already dealt with those assassins of youth who made horror movies."
Twilight felt her blood run cold, but before she could ask what was going on, an angry Scootaloo came in behind Starlight.
"Hey!" The angry filly scowled at Starlight, waving a torn movie poster in her little hoof. It was for something reading 'Torn Out Hearts-and-Hooves Day 3, with what looked like a malicious Cadence (Twilight remembered Chrysalis saying she loved the first two). Over the face ran a banner reading 'CANCELED' in big red letters. Scootaloo said, "What does the theater mean, 'every horror movie in Equestria canceled forever?' I liked those movies!" She made a face at the poster. "They replaced this with 'Minty's Tea Party Surprise'!"
"That's a better film for a little filly like you," Starlight patted Scootaloo on the head. "It's uplifting and innocent and happy."
"That's not the problem." Scootaloo sniffed. "I like to watch Minty when that's what I want to see. But this time I wanted to see Nightmare Heartripper going after lovesick stallions and mares again!"
"What is going on here?" Twilight finally said walking out into the room. "Starlight, what ave you been up to?" Starlight rolled her eyes innocently. Twilight looked at Spike. "Spike, tell me what now?"
Spike scratched the back of his scaly head. "Uh, Twi..." He steepled his fingers, fidgeting. "Remember how Starlight and those other mares visited the Manehattan movie studios to talk about those horror movies?"
"I remember," Twilight said. She nodded at her student. "She was able to work with other ponies without using mind control magic." She looked away as Starlight began to sweat. "I was surprised she convinced the studios to stop making those films. She's come so far!"
"Yeah,, well," Spike said, "Maybe a little too far." He held up a copy of the Canterlot Sun with a headline of, 'Princess Twilight's Evil Apprentice Mind Controls Studio Execs; Did The Princess Know?' It ran over a picture of a smiling Starlight putting the whammy on the vacant-eyed studio ponies.
Twilight gaped. She wheeled on Starlight, who began backing away and smiling.
"... STARLIGHT! We talked about this!"
Starlight shrugged. "What? You said I should never cast mind control spells on my friends. They weren't my friends."
"I don't think they're anypony's friends," Spike said.
"Oh, and one more thing?" Her horn lit up and she hurled a spell on Twilight, Spike, and Scootaloo. "MIND CONTROL!"
Two ponies and one dragon froze, their eyes going vacant. Starlight laughed wickedly as she walked up to them. "Oh, Twilight, did you really think I'd reformed? Now with what I've learned from you I can fix every problem in Equestria. And all it takes is removing every trace of free will!"
Starlight threw her head back and laughed madly.
Twilight jerked awake with a yell. She looked down at what she'd been reading, a combination of notes for the mind-controlling sorceress in their next O&O adventure, and the model of a petition to impose a ratings system on Equestrian movies Starlight wrote and wanted her to review.
"Not worried," Twilight said, setting the notes for the mind-controlling sorceress ablaze with her magic. "But wow do I ever need some sleep."
She hesitated over the petition as well, her natural instinct was to burn it as well. An accident really, it wasn't like Starlight could just write another after all.
Flash Forward In A Possible Universe
"This is about my freakout during the friendship lesson?" Starlight asked.
"... Kinda." Twilight said.
"well... I can't exactly fault you for being careful, all things consider," Starlight sighed. "But what about the all the angry mothers who asked for me to make the petition?"
"I'm sure once I explain it to them in a rational manner, they'll be sure to understand," Twilight said.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Twilight shouted from a window in her castle at the angry mother mob surrounding her castle.
"REVOLT!" Bon Bon fired anti-monster-rounds in the air from an from her 'not officially legal in Equestria' arsenal.
Button Mash's mom leapt on top of the crowd, wearing from the neck down a kabuki stage hand costume with a red sash, wielding a katana. "REVOLUTION!"
"Wanna head to the crystal empire till the heat dies down?" Spike asked.
"On second thought there's nothing wrong with free speech," Twilight said. And Applejack and Rarity accepting it had been 'what Starlight Glimmer wants' was the only reason they hadn't YET been at Rainbow Dash's throat. It seemed like the two were actually COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS until the spell's residue wore off completely and they could tell RD what they really thought.
She HOPED that foals showing up in droves to watch gruesome adult horror movies was just a part of the nightmare... or she might sign the petition too. Thankfully she'd been able to use the precedents set by Chrysalis' lawyers (she felt so dirty) to defend RD had been under mind control, and explain it was a matter of honor.
Well... tomorrow tomorrow.
Session 37.7 Alex Warlorn (UPDATED!)
It was a nice morning in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle observed.
She happily pranced through Ponyville, all her friends giving her a wave and she waved back, she had a neat little schedule to do today, and of course a schedule for the schedule.
"Good day Princess Twilight," Echoed Flim and Flam, their eyes little dots with smiles on their faces.
"Uh... hello? Are you... uh... feeling okay?"
"Better than okay! The idea of live action NPCs who wouldn't deviate from their scripts was too tempting, so we asked Starlight Glimmer to use her magic on them. Then they all got together and decided they should make sure we don't change the script to strangle more bits out of our paying customers and Starlight obliged."
"Good Morning Princess Twilight!" Echoed the CMC all smiling, along with Snips, Snails, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, Twist, Alula, Tootsie, and Truffle. "Isn't it a wonderful and happy day?"
"AGH! What happened?"
Miss Cheerilee trotted over dotted eye and smiling. "I realized that it would be so much better if the students just behaved in class and listened and did their work instead of fighting and arguing and causing trouble all the time... now they're all happy... and the school board realized it was better if I didn't have any bias in teaching the material, so now I'm happy."
"Please thank your Apprentice for us Princess Twilight." Said the Spa Twins, dot eyed and smiling. "We've never been more efficient and effective at our spa treatments, our business is doing better than ever, we're racking in the bits, which we will use to make the spa better, everypony wins."
"Agh! But you're not enjoying it!"
"Of course we are. We're so happy, no more distractions or interruptions." They said. "Just what we were meant to do."
Pound and Pumpkin trotted behind their parents obediently, no crying, no random flying, no eating things they shouldn't have.
"They're so much better behaved this way," said dotted eyed Mrs. Cake to dotted eye Mr. Cake.
"Yes they are. And our business is so much more efficient."
Twilight had a flash back to argument about using personality altering drugs on foals!
"Now all the sheep and cows at the farm don't waste time with chit-chat." Said dot eyed Granny Smith.
"YEP!"
"MAYOR MARE!" Twilight teleported.
"Yes Twilight?" Said the smiling dot eyed mare.
"AGH! Not you too!"
"Of course me too. Now I can run the entire town honestly, sincerely, with no double talk and manipulation, I just run everything according to the laws set by the voters. I now have no bias or hidden agendas, isn't it better that way?"
Trixie who was also in the office for some reason said. "And now I don't boast, brag, or tell tall tales at my magic act. Doesn't that make me a better pony?"
"SPIKE!" Twilight teleported again... to find Spike smiling at me.
"Fax machine ready for service."
"THAT'S STUPID!" Twilight hugged him. Then stood up and screamed. "AAAAAAH! Princess!" Teleport to Canterlot.
"Isn't it much better this way Twilight Sparkle? Now there's no chance of me turning evil like my sister, or Luna turning evil again. Now we can just raise the sun and moon as nature intended."
"Yaks no more smash." Said the yak Prince.
"Diamond Dogs will be well behaved and not kidnap."
Gabby and Gilda echoed, "We griffins, ready to accept their place as the cultural inferior to ponies."
"All dragons are ready to be faithful number one assistants." Smile and nodded Ember.
"I'll just live in a cave and never do anything ever again." Said Chrysalis with a smile.
"DISCORD!" Teleport to Chaosville.
Discord stood with a huge smile on his face having tea with dot eyed and smiling Fluttershy.
"Hello Twilight, no more evil pranking for me, like when I when place that big red button in the middle of Ponyville."
Twilight gasped. "That was you?! Never mind! Zecora!" Teleport to Everfree.
"Hello Twilight. I no longer need to speak in verse. Isn't it cool? I'm now like the rest of you."
"NO! This isn't living! This is machinery!"
"We're all happy, we're all content, we're doing what we're supposed to. No one argues. No fighting. No hurting. Everypony is friends. No hurt feelings. It is utopia!" Said outside the horde of ALL her friends and family, including Cadence, Shining Armor, and Flurry Heart and Sunburst. They parted ways for Princess Starlight Glimmer to trot through, her wings neatly folded on her sides.
"Now Twilight... join us... and we'll all be happy." Her horn glowed.
With dotted eyes and a smile Twilight said. "We all belong. We're all friends. We're all happy. How could this ever be bad? I was so silly." Everypony laughed.
"Hey Twilight what's ... going... on?" Sunset Shimmer asked confused stepping out of the mirror. Princess Starlight's horn glowed.
Starlight Glimmer woke up with a scream, her entire body covered in sweat. She panted. She checked her back, no wings. She ran to the window. No... nopony else was under the effects of the spell she'd created, and the five she originally used it on were only feeling the after effects. Starlight realized her heart was pounding. "All just a nightmare... all just a nightmare... all JUST a nightmare... just a nightmare... "
Session 37.8 Grogar-the-oneser
"Crusaders we have a problem, we now know that they will remember all of this when they snapped out of it. Which means they;ll remember us tricking them to do stuff they wouldn- will you stop eating ice cream you took from Rarity's fridge!" Apple Bloom snapped.
"I can't help it, she has a better selection than the one at our parents' house!" Sweetie Belle stated.
"What's the problem? I thought Alisa was going to do a whole 'condition them so that the whole mess didn't happen'," Scootaloo said.
"Twilight and Starlight cancelled it, said it was too much of an easy way out," Sweetie Belle said.
"Hence my point, if we're going to make them go easy on us is to do stuff they want us to do but hate anyway."
"Like your eating alfalfa?" Scootaloo asked.
"Yeah..." Apple Bloom sighed.
Session 37.9 Ardashir
"Okay, so among the treasure, you find both a helmet and a full-length mirror." Spike grinned as he asked, "Do any of you put the helmet on or look into the mirror?"
Everypony looked at Rarity. She rolled her eyes.
"What? Must you assume I'm vain? I'll try the helmet. Fluttershy dear, perhaps you can examine the mirror."
Fluttershy looked uncertain but she nodded. "Um, okay. I look into the mirror... Nothing bad happens, right?" She said the last in a near squeak.
"Yeah, right!" Spike cackled as malevolently as a pre-teen dragon could. "Rarity, the helmet is cursed! It turns your alignment to its opposite, instantly."
Everypony else groaned. Rainbow Dash facehoofed. "Geeze, Rarity, did ya haveta go for the new hat?"
"Just because my adventurer is the one who cares the most about her appearance, that's no reason to be so critical, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity paled. "Oh dear! It doesn't change anything else about my personality, does it? I mean, I didn't gain a sudden desire to roll about in mud, did I?" When Spike shook his head no, she sighed in relief. "Thank heavens! I can put up with being evil much more easily than with being," she shivered, "a filthy mess. At least I'll be elegant in my evil."
"A-and me?" Fluttershy said. She flinched as Spike gave her an evil grin.
"Another Fluttershy steps out of the mirror! She has an evil smile. She has an evil look in her eyes. And she starts to cast a druid spell -- and a lightning bolt hits Starlight Glimmer's character!"
"What!" Starlight snatched up the O&O rulebook before Spike could stop her and read, '...The duplicate created by the Mirror of Opposition will attack its original, seeking to destroy them in preference to all other targets'. Hey! Why is she after me?"
"Beats me, I'm only the GM," Spike said with false innocence. "Oh, by the way, the new evil Rarity looks at you and starts casting a spell, too."
Starlight gave Spike her dirtiest look.
"This is because of last week, isn't it?"
Spike folded his arms over his chest. "I ain't saying yes, and I ain't saying no."
Session 37.10 Alex Warlorn
(SPOILERS TO LEGEND OF EVERFREE)
"Did you have to rent out the camps backwoods to those Flim and Flam bothers for their stupid LARP company?"
Timber said, "It seemed like a good idea to raise money at the time."
-
Princess Twilight Sparkle stepped through the portal, the sky darkening to black, her wings spread widen, her eyes glowing red with fury.
"WHO THE TARTARUS TOLD FLASH SENTRY TO 'GET OVER' ME?!" The Royal Canterlot Voice echoed.
Sunset Shimmer without understanding why broke into a cold sweat.
-
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T GET THE CAMP'S GROUNDS?!" Company president Sombra snarled.
"I said they paid me the money they owed me, and now my daughter wants to go there next year... And I like seeing my daughter happy, good day." Filth Rich hung up the phone.
Session 37.11 Mtangalion
The morning newspaper arrived at the Carousel Boutique the way it usually did, with a too-loud whack against the front door, and Muffin's muffled voice shouting "Sorry!"
Alisa eased the front door open and peeked left, right, and up, making sure there were no other deliveries, before she grabbed the Ponyville Gazette in her teeth and padded back to the kitchen table with it. Hopping up in her chair, she unrolled the paper, took a contented sip of coffee, and almost immediately wound up spitting coffee everywhere.
"Diamond Wolves in the Night Guard?" read one of the headlines. Alisa skimmed the article, feeling an epic facepaw coming on. Those three wolves who'd come to Ponyville, bragging that they were 'training' to become super cool 'infiltrators' just like her, the ones she'd used for her delightful prank on Mistress Rarity with the 'secret basement' full of costumes... they hadn't *actually* gone to Canterlot and tried to pass themselves off as princesses after she told them what a stupid idea that was, had they?
"This reclusive species... first wolves to apply to be citizens and join... Very sorry for prank... working for Mistress Luna much better than freezing tails off in Prince Erik's dumb ice cave..." What had she started? And the next article down... "Exclusive interview with Celestia's new maid!?" One paw wasn't enough. Alisa had to facepaw with *both* forepaws.
The special town notice slipped in with the paper actually managed to make Alisa's morning worse... Twilight Sparkle and Mayor Mare had proposed a new ordinance banning full body costumes worn for purposes of deception and trickery... public comment period set for this afternoon. Her ears and tail drooped. "Ponies... don't want to play wolf games?"
Her ears pricked up again, hearing Mistress Rarity... but she'd just come out of the 'secret basement,' with an eerie smile and her pupils a little too small, worrisomely so.
"Good morning, darling!" said Rarity cheerfully. "All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I see."
Alisa grimaced. "Why does Mistress Rarity smell like smoke?"
"Because I just burned all of those costumes, and I haven't had a shower yet, of course. Starlight Glimmer mentioned that she really wished somepony could just get rid of them all."
The Diamond Wolf whimpered. That hadn't been her real lair or her best costumes, of course, but it *hurt*. "Why did mistress obey equal pony? Alisa fixed you!"
Rarity hoof-shrugged apologetically. "And Twilight un-fixed it, by telling us it was you in a Starlight costume. She gave a big speech about quick fixes being bad, and it being better to let these things wear off on their own, but you know..." She winked. "Mind control fetish."
"But, what did Alisa do wrong?!" she howled. "Alisa tries to help and make fun games... ponies really don't want it?" She slumped, resting her head on her forepaws. "Alisa understands." She sighed. "Ponies were fun, she liked being with them, but she's stayed too long. Alisa will pack things and go home like Prince Erik wants, to get new assignment."
Rarity flinched oddly, then groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and rubbing her temple. "What?!" Her eyes flew open, pupils normal now. "No, you mustn't! I mean... Please don't go, Alisa. I really wish you'd stay."
Alisa looked up at her, blinking in confusion.
Rarity blushed a bit. "As much as you're occasionally infuriating, you're witty and clever, always keeping us on the tips of our hooves... we've enjoyed having you around. Sweetie's made such good progress with her magic, too, thanks to your tutoring." She smirked. "I could stand to have a few lessons with you myself. Not all of us could afford to attend a magic college and learn advanced spells the traditional way, after all."
"This isn't thing for joking?" asked Alisa hopefully. "Mistress Rarity really wants me to stay?"
"Your *friend* Rarity wants you to stay. If you need more proof that some ponies do appreciate your pranks..." Rarity levitated the paper and turned it to page two.
Alisa's eyes grew wide. "Local Baker Launches One Mare Fillybuster?" Pinkie Pie, it seemed, had gasped fit to wake up ponies in Trottingham, and gone straight to Town Hall to loudly tell everypony that Nightmare Night would be ruined FOREVER if costumes were banned, and pranks, and parties, and... She'd kept talking and talking long after Mayor Mare had called the whole proposed ordinance off, and apparently... Alisa trotted over to a window and opened it, leaning out and flicking her ears... yep, Pinkie was still talking now.
"Alisa will stay!" she declared, wagging her tail.
Rarity grinned. "Wonderful, darling! Just... try and ease off on the wolf games just a teensy tiny bit... well, quite a lot actually, at least until things calm down."
"Of course, Mistress!"
Rarity twitched. "I just said, you don't have to call me that. We're friends, Alisa."
Alisa kept wagging her tail brightly. "Yes, Mistress! Alisa is lucky to have a strong pack and good pony friends."
Rarity groaned. "You may scoff now, but friendship will get you in the end! We Ponyvillians have gotten pretty good at that!"
Alisa grinned toothily. "Want to make bet?"
Session 37.12 Grogar-the-oneser
"It's weird, why was that world filthy rich trying to buy a summer camp. I mean i love a spa as well as the next person but our filthy rich wouldn't do that. Rarity said, she and the other were playing poker.
"Rarity." Twilight sighed "Your thinking about this is too simple. just cause he's that world filthy rich doesn't mean there the same person. if anything it be more of a case of while they look the same and may have some things common, they are ultimately a different person."
"Yeah and your focusing on the wrong thing rarity, our human self manage to gain SUPER POWERS!" Pinkie cheered
"Yeah and i'm annoyed about that, how come they get superpowers and we don't!" Rainbow Dash snapped
"Yeah cause a ultimate mode that shows that we have become the element made flesh and can fire multiple rainbow of doom is totally not a superpower." Twilight deadpanned
"... I can't tell if your sarcastic or not." Rainbow muttered getting a annoyed sighed from twilight.
Session 37.13 Kendell2
"Okay, Adagio, what are you up to?!" Sunset asked, bursting into the apartment the depowered Sirens were staying in.
Adagio sighed, putting down some money she'd been counting. "What 'evil plan' are you going to accuse me of this time, Sunbutt Jr.?" she asked, then blinked, noting that Sunset felt more powerful. "...You got another power up, didn't you." she asked with a groan.
"Not why I'm here," the unicorn turned human asked, not wanting to let slip that she and the other six had aquired what amounted to this world's Elements of Harmony. "We were playing World of Horsecraft, heard about a secret boss quest line added in a recent update that I'm pretty sure was just to try and keep people busy until the next expansion FINALLY launches. One that involves saving a sea side community..."
Sunset opened her laptop to a Youtube video of the secret boss...a trio of alluring Flutterponies with the trio's exact color schemes and mane styles, red gems around their necks.
After using an artifact acquired in a previous quest, the facade was ripped away to reveal a trio of huge, hippocampus-like monsters identical to the Sirens' true forms. After some boss dialog, the battle, and a very familiar song, began.
"Welcome to the show..."
Sunset paused it. "From a trio of SIRENS. I KNOW you're behind this, so what's your plan? Spread brainwashing music everywhere?!"
Adagio rolled her eyes with an annoyed sigh. "I WISH! Reality check genius! I. Have. No. Magic! The ONLY reason we're able to cause trouble in Equestria is because there's enough residual magic left to use the mana, and even then the best we can do is drive some dragons into greed growth rampages over Spike!"
Sunset gave an annoyed growl. "Then what IS this about?!"
"And why should I tell YOU?"
"Because I could just read your mind if I wanted to, but I'm being more respectful of your privacy than you deserve."
Adagio's eyes went wide. "You can't do that!"
Sunset smirked. "I can now. Like you said, I got another power up."
Adagio sighed in annoyance. "FINE! Two simple answers. First: M.O.N.E.Y."
Celestia's former student blinked. "Money?"
+
Human Discord looked at the drawings and designs presented to him by the totally normal trio of teenaged girls in front of him. "So, the idea is these three Sirens are plunging a sea side town into self destructive conflict with each other and eternal idolization of the three of them?"
Adagio nodded. "That's right."
"And if they're not stopped, they'll do the same to the entire world?"
"Pretty much," said Aria. "Though the purple one is angry at her big sister for dragging them out of the ocean for this stupid scheme."
Adagio glared at her sister. "The yellow one is the leader."
"And you're willing to compose the music for all three of them so we don't have to license any songs?" President Sombra asked, standing nearby.
"So long as we're paid," Adagio replied. "We'd GLADLY sing them too, but-"
"The magic gems th-" Sonata started before Aria elbowed her in the ribs.
"That power the Sirens amplify their music to be even more beautiful," the lead Siren covered. "And our vocal cords got wrecked in an unfortunate accident, so now we sound like..."
"A tone deaf cat?" Aria asked.
"...Yes, that," Adagio finished, giving a flat look. "We know how to sing perfectly fine, just our singing voices are screwed up."
Chrysalis rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Ever heard of auto tune?"
+
"So we recorded songs (that we still own the rights to) for the game on a rather nice contract, sold them our designs, and now have a song writing deal with them," the eldest Siren replied, smirking. "What? We need money too, and that office has enough conflict between egos to keep us fed."
"...You were hoping autotuning your voices would restore their hypnotic power, weren't you?" Sunset asked.
"...Yes...If it did, we'd be in the office running the place..."
"Thought so...And what was the OTHER answer?"
Adagio smirked, taking out a laptop of her own and searching for 'sirens, World of Horsecraft' before turning it to her nemesis.
Sunset blinked. "That is a LOT of fanart...GAH! Put on the mature content filter! Geeze!"
Adagio chuckled. "What can I say? These humans love their femme fatales...though the fact humans are drawing sexualized versions of equines and deep sea creatures is kind of weird."
"Now you know why World of Horsecraft doesn't have Cutie Marks..."
Session 37.14 Ardashir
If Sunset Shimmer had been dismayed at what she'd seen in the Horsecraft fanart for the new 'boss quest', that was nothing compared to the reaction of Adagio's sisters when they learned about it.
"WHAT THE HAY IS THIS JUNK?!?"
"Don't yell in my ears!" Adagio winced as Aria folded her arms over her chest. "Hey, can I help it if the humans realize we look better than their mares? Besides, I thought you two would be happy to see that someone though you were almost me equal in looks." She pointed at the number of hits displayed by the search engine for 'sexy Aria'.
"Huh," Aria rubbed her chin and smirked. "I guess it's okay, but -- what?" She began to laugh and pointed to the numbers for 'sexy Sonata'. They outnumbered both her and Adagio combined. As Adagio fumed, Aria said, "Why do they draw us with breasts when we're in our true and much better looking Siren forms?"
"Hah!" Adagio just laughed. "You've been around humans for 1000 years and have to ask that question?" As she spoke, Sonata wandered over to glance at the screen.
"I think it's cute the way these humans like us in our real forms!" She tapped a few buttons. To Adagio and Aria's surprise, the computer didn't catch fire or start flashing virus warnings. Instead it showed a chat between 'RealSonata' and someone else.
"What?" Adagio blinked. "You're flirting online? With humans?"
"Uh-huh!" Sonata beamed. "I'm even getting asked out on a date by fans of the game who like our singing. Look at the one by this guy called 'TotallyNotAPsychoLoner', he wants to meet me after dark in that creepy old motel next to the abandoned quarry on the edge of town."
Adagio and Aria exchanged stunned looks.
"Sonata, that sounds like a bad idea..." Aria looked at a nearby newspaper with the headline of 'Fourth Woman Goes Missing'. She turned and patted Sonata on the shoulder reassuringly. "On second thought? You should totally go for it."
Sonata grinned and gave a little jump. She turned for the door, stopping only when Adagio took her by the shoulder.
"We're going with you. Don't look at me like that, Aria! We can't afford to take any chances with breaking up the group."
Aria rolled her eyes but got into a coat and followed her two sisters out the door.
Hours later.
Sonata slouched back into the room, looking downcast.
"That date stank, especially when all the cops showed up."
Aria followed her in. Broken ropes dangled from her wrists.
"I told you he was a weirdo when he put on that dress and asked if we wanted to see his taxidermied relatives." She yanked what was left of the rope off and flung it in the garbage. "He didn't even use good rope. How can you respect a cheap kidnapper?"
Adagio walked in behind the two, counting a thick roll of bills in her hands with a broad grin on her face.
"Stop complaining, Aria. We got a $1000 reward for catching that guy! Hey Sonata, try and date a few more crazy murderers in the future."
Session 37.15 Mtangalion
"Seriously?" asked Gilda. "Sparkle said that?"
"Sure did!" said Rainbow Dash. They were hanging out in Dash's house, reading the latest Daring Do novel. "She actually offered to put Starlight under mind control so she'd know how it felt, and then she offered to let Starlight mind control *her*!"
Gilda had given the first three chapters a rating of "Okay, I guess, if you're a huge Daring Do *nerd*, which I'm not," but she was clawing her way through chapter four all the same. "Little miss proper pony princess is into games like that? Never would have guessed."
Dash shrugged. "Either she is, or it's all a clever scheme to put Starlight off mind control spells once and for all. And it might actually be working."
Gilda steepled her claws, grinning. "Hmm..."
Twilight Sparkle glanced up from her morning paperwork as a certain griffon landed on her balcony, uninvited. "Good morning, Gilda! Here for another game of chess?"
"Heh, heh... not this time!" Gilda fished a common piece of quartz out of her bag of shinies, waving it in front of the confused Alicorn and wiggling her claws mystically. "Behold, Grover's Glorious Gemstone! You are now totally hypnotized and under my spell."
Twilight hesitated, then got an "Okay, I'll play along" smirk... tisk, tisk... before wiping her expression blank. "I must do everything you say, Gilda."
Gilda repressed the urge to giggle. "Nuh uh, dweeb. Call me Princess."
Twilight smiled, staring into the distance. "Of course, Princess Gilda."
"Now balance all those books on your nose without magic, and tell me how great I am."
Twilight did surprisingly well with the books, only wobbling back and forth a little. "You're a loyal friend to Dash, Princess Gilda, and... strong. Yes, strong and confident, and assertive and... uh..."
Gilda grinned deviously. "You're doing great, dweeb. Now fire up that spell of yours and grow me to twice my normal size. After that... ooh, how about we go find Gabby and make her big too?"
Twilight hesitated, then made a pathetic show of casting a fizzling spell, dropping the books everywhere in the process. "Oh... dear! The Glorious Gemstone... it must be sapping my magic! I want to obey, Princess Gilda, but I just can't! Um... but what else can I do?"
Gilda groaned. "Ugh, come on! You're wussing out already? You can kiss my flank, Sparkle!"
Twilight glared at her. "Where would you like me to kiss it, Princess Gilda!?"
Rainbow Dash stared at her best friend. "You're going on a play date?"
Gilda inspected her reflection in Dash's ice mirror, turning her head this way and that, then savagely combing her crest. "Yeah, so?"
"With Twilight!?"
Gilda turned her head and smirked. "What, you didn't hear me the first time? Going deaf or something, Dash?"
Rainbow Dash blinked. "Okay, I'm gonna need a few more minutes for that to soak in. Then I'm probably going to laugh so hard, I'll roll right off this cloud."
"Yeah, have fun with that. Seriously, it's cool. What's the worst that could happen?"
Flash Sentry gasped, snapping the pencil that he'd been using to doodle in his algebra notebook. "Twilight!"