“Alicorn Pinkie Pie??? Princess of Irrationality? Pinkie, what’s going on here?”
Pinkie bounds over to Twilight, as the masses remain bowed with their eyes closed. “Isn’t this super? I love these wings, they look soooo great on me. Yeah, I know I can’t actually fly with them, but I just love the idea of flying, it really feeds the imagination, doesn’t it. And the horn! If I could use magic, the things I could do! Imagine me being able to teleport at will! So much to go on about with all this, but …”
Twilight pays little mind to her friend’s ramblings as she inspects the artisanship of Pinkie’s newfound accessories. Had she not known Pinkie Pie for so long, she would swear she was looking at a hyperactive alicorn. “Remarkable …”
“… but then I said ‘I’m off oatmeal for a while’, and … Twilight?”
Twilight shakes her head and refocuses on the present. “Sorry Pinkie. And you’re right; those wings and that horn are incredibly realistic. But why?”
“Maybe they got a touring theater group that needs attention to detail to their costumes,” Pinkie suggests.
“Not that, Pinkie. Why is this town bestowing these wings and this horn on you?”
“All in the name of unity, my dear princess,” replies Sunbolt. Twilight turns to the faux-unicorn, and then realizes that they’ve met.
“I remember you now! You’re that unicorn we met when we first got to Utopia.”
“Unicorn nothing: that’s Sunbolt, leader of the Elysium movement, and an earth pony through and through!”
“Ah, Zodiac. A pleasure to run into you again, no doubt.”
“To what end are you using this earth pony?” Zodiac angrily asks. Sunbolt answers in kind.
“Utopia and Paradise saw fit to steal our idea of prosthetics, so it’s only logical that Elysium would do the same for the concept of alicorns. Your towns have spurned our advances for far too long, Zodiac. Rejected our kind. Forced us to fend for ourselves from the beginning. Well good luck figuring out which alicorns are earth ponies … oh that’s right, you don’t believe in luck. Just ‘reasoning’ and ‘rational thought’, right?”
“The Alicorn Society has done what’s needed to be done. We wish no ill will on anypony.”
“Exclusionary practices are ill will, Zodiac!”
“The mental breakdowns the earth ponies have caused in our towns are serious, Sunbolt.”
Twilight’s neck strains from the back-and-forth between the two ponies, as each volleys accusations at the other. “STOP THIS!!!”, she finally interrupts; Zodiac and Sunbolt briefly turn to the true alicorn in response. Twilight then addresses Zodiac.
“I can understand your concern, having experienced a breakdown first-hoof, but this idea of excluding earth ponies from your towns has got to end. Everypony should be allowed to reside wherever they wish, and your towns will be richer for their presence.”
As Zodiac processes Twilight’s plea, she turns to Sunbolt. “And while I agree that Utopia and Paradise should be open to earth ponies, I understand why this process needs to be gradual, so the townsfolk can adapt to the new ways.”
Twilight’s next words are aimed at both: “As much as I’ve enjoyed the puzzles I’ve had to solve since coming here, such puzzles belong in texts and not reality. Now I urge you both, not as the Princess of Friendship but as a simple friend, to find common ground and begin the process of integrating all ponies to all towns.”
A brief pause ensues, before Sunbolt responds:
“If you’re insinuating that Elysium has held the same exclusionary practices as the forest towns, look around.”
Twilight scans the town, and notices that a number of ponies that had been bowing have horns, while others have wings. “I can’t tell if they’re really unicorns and pegasi or not. I would have thought otherwise before coming here, but now?”
“Exactly,” Zodiac retorts. “All the confusion that’s resulted from the appearance of these earth ponies in wing-and-horn clothing has made a mess of things for a long time now.”
“Well, just wait until Pinkie and a horde of alicorns come to your twin-towns and mingle with the residents.”
“Ooo, are we going back to Utopia?” Pinkie excitedly asks. “Or maybe Paradise! I haven’t been to Paradise yet! Sounds like fun!”
“Pinkie Pie,” Zodiac begs, “do not enter the twin-towns as an alicorn. The resulting logic bombs would be cataclysmic.”
“Gee, I don’t want to hurt anypony. Well, I can’t wait to show these off in Ponyville. What do you think Rarity will think of these? I think she’ll be utterly amazed!”
“I’m afraid you misunderstand, Pinkie Pie,” Sunbolt corrects. “Your place is here now, in Elysium to raise the spirits of the earth ponies here. You can’t return home.”
Sunbolt’s declaration enrages Twilight. “You can’t keep my friend here against her will! I won’t allow it!”
“Yeah, I mean I love the wings, and the horn, and this is really a cool place to visit, but I don’t wanna leave my life and all my friends behind.”
“I thought you would both feel this way,” Sunbolt cooly replies to Pinkie, “so how about a little wager. Win, and I will let you go, wings, horn, and all. Lose, and you promise to stay here. Would you be willing to swear by the results of this wager?”
“We’re not going to play some game for my friend’s freedom!” Twilight flatly states.
Zodiac brushes Twilight aside and confronts Sunbolt himself. “It’s not rational for one to risk something so dear on a mere gamble.”
“Oh, but that’s just it. It’s not really a gamble. Think of it more as a test, where you have a two-in-three chance of succeeding.”
Twilight eyes Zodiac suspiciously as he continues the conversation. “I suppose it won’t hurt to at least see what you have in mind.”
“Not at all,” Sunbolt replies. “Follow me.”
Sunbolt leads Zodiac, Twilight, and Pinkie to a large structure at the far end of the town. Twilight notes the combination of municipal and residential amenities while walking inside; she reasons that this must be where Sunbolt both lives and conducts his strategic planning. After traversing numerous hallways, the group is led to a spacious, empty room that contains only three boxes of similar size and shape resting on a table. The boxes have the numbers ‘1’, ‘2’, and ‘3’ inscribed on them.
Sunbolt explains: “One of these boxes contains but a simple pebble, to represent the simplicity of earth ponies; the other two boxes are empty. Pick one box: if it is empty, Pinkie is free to go. But if you should pick the box with the pebble, she remains with us.”
Zodiac inspects the table and notices stone tablets in front of each box. Messages are etched into the tablet; he studies these messages while Twilight again protests about the notion of keeping Pinkie in this town against her will. Suddenly …
“We accept your offer.”
Twilight suddenly turns to Zodiac, her face now the color of Pinkie’s mane. “Zodiac!!! You have no right to accept this proposition!”
“You have to trust me on this,” Zodiac icily replies. He then turns to Pinkie. “Promise Sunbolt that you will abide by the results of this ‘wager’.”
“Okie-dokie!” Pinkie cheerfully replies. “I Pinkie-promise!”
“What??? Pinkie, no!”
“Why not? Zodiac seems sure of something, so why not give him a chance?”
“But Pinkie, if he’s wrong then you’re trapped here!”
Sunbolt interrupts Twilight’s back-and-forth with Pinkie: “It does not matter now; Pinkie has accepted Zodiac’s offer. Now choose.”
Resigning herself to Zodiac’s decision, Twilight inspects the messages etched into the tablets. In front of box 1 is the message “This box is empty.” In front of box 2 is the message “Box 3 contains the pebble.” In front of box 3 is the message “The messages in front of at least two of these boxes are false.”
“I apologize for making you so angry, Twilight,” Zodiac states, “but you have nothing to fear. It is obvious which box I should pick.”
“Oh please, explain your reasoning,” Sunbolt urges the faux-alicorn.
“It’s all so simple. The message in front of box 3 is either true or false. If it’s true, then the messages in front of boxes 1 and 2 are false. In particular, box 1 is not empty. So there’s a chance the pebble is in that box.”
“Go on …”
“Meanwhile, if the message in front of box 3 is false, then it is not the case that at least two messages are false. That forces the messages in front of boxes 1 and 2 to be true. In particular, box 3 would have to contain the pebble.”
Zodiac fails to see the slight, mischievous grin on Sunbolt’s face as he concludes: “That means that either box 1 or box 3 contains the pebble; it cannot possibly be in box 2. Thus, Sunbolt, I choose the middle box!”
Triumphant in his demeanor, Zodiac magically opens the middle box and looks inside. The smile on his face quickly turns to a gasp as his pupils shrink to pinpricks. “No … that can’t be …” Moments later, he collapses to the ground.
Twilight and Pinkie peer into the middle box, which contains a small stone lying atop a pillow. Sunbolt then opens the other two boxes, revealing each to be empty. “A deal’s a deal,” she declares, “Alicorn Pinkie is here to stay. And now I must prepare for the upcoming visit to the twin-towns. If you’ll excuse me …” Sunbolt then departs the room, leaving the two Ponyville residents alone.
“Pinkie, let’s just get out of this town and reconvene back at the balloon. I can teleport us out of here if necessary; they won’t be able to stop us.”
“But we still haven’t solved their friendship problem,” Pinkie notes.
“I’m not saying we abandon our quest; I just think we need time to process everything that’s happened.”
“I can’t leave here,” Pinkie states, tears emanating from her eyes. “I made a Pinkie-promise, Twilight! You of all ponies know I can’t break a Pinkie-promise!”
“But Pinkie—“
“I’m staying,” Pinkie declares while fighting back further tears. “It’s my own doing, and I need to accept the consequences. Sometimes … sometimes I get caught up in the moment. Zodiac just seemed so certain of himself, and I really like these wings. I guess I got a little greedy. I should have just declined Sunbolt’s offer. I’m sorry, Twilight.”
Pinkie turns away from Twilight. “Have Spike take care of Gummy for me. They’re both reptiles; they’re practically cousins. And give my regards to the others … maybe they can visit from time to time.”
“No! I will not accept this!” Twilight is adamant in her declaration. “I’ll talk to Sunbolt; you wait here until Zodiac comes to; maybe you can figure out why he blacked out. But when all is completed here, we’re returning to Ponyville together! That’s a Twilight-promise!”
Twilight gallops away from the room, leaving Pinkie to inspect the tablets and wait for Zodiac.”
“Absolutely out of the question!”
“Please!” Twilight begs of Sunbolt. “You cannot force my friend to leave behind her whole life just to satisfy your ponial desires. It’s not right, and deep down inside, I know you know that.”
Sunbolt looks Twilight in the eyes. “This isn’t about me, Princess Twilight. This is about every earth pony whose ever been turned away by a unicorn or pegasus simply because she lacks special features. But I wouldn’t expect a true alicorn to understand that.”
“There must be another solution,” Twilight continues to plead. “What if … what if you made another wager. How about ‘double-or-nothing’?”
Sunbolt pauses. “Exactly what are you wagering?”
“My own freedom. If I lose, I promise to remain in Elysium and follow your leadership. But if I win, you annul the Pinkie-promise and allow us to return home.”
“Interesting,” Sunbolt mulls to himself. “An opportunity to have a true alicorn join our fight … all right, Princess Twilight: you have yourself a deal. And I know the perfect wager for you. Head back to the room with the three boxes, and I will meet you shortly.”
“ ‘Annul’? What does that mean?”
“It means the Pinkie-promise would never have technically taken place. It would be as if it never happened.”
“So it would be like we went back in time?”
“Well, not exactly … but I think you get the idea.”
Pinkie, her eyes still moist from before, hugs Twilight as more tears flow. “Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I knew you’d figure out a way to save me.”
“Don’t thank me yet, Pinkie. I still don’t know what Sunbolt has planned for—“
The two hear hoofsteps from the hallway. Soon after, Sunbolt appears … followed by a group of ponies that cause both Twilight and Pinkie to gape in astonishment.
Seven ponies enter the room, each of which is monochrome from mane to body to tail. Lined up, they appear to make up a rainbow. And, each appears to be an alicorn.
“I meant for Zodiac or another one of those ‘Alicorn Society’ ponies to take this challenge, but I cannot ignore the possibility of gaining the services of a true alicorn princess.”
“Where did you ever find monochrome ponies?” Twilight asks in astonishment. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“I would have thought that after experiencing alicorns here, you wouldn’t be so surprised,” Sunbolt retorts. “If you must know, this is simply the result of body paint and mane dye.”
“Remarkable,” Twilight admits.
“You should totally start a theater company, Sunbolt,” Pinkie adds.
“In any case,” Sunbolt brusquely states, “let me explain how this challenge will work:”
“For purposes of this challenge, the names of these alicorns are Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet. Now as I’m sure you have figured out by now, these are not alicorns. In fact, six of these fine ponies hail from either Utopia or Paradise … and in fact, two of those six are really earth ponies. Yes, there are earth ponies who come from those towns; they simply hide their true nature well enough to blend in.”
“More specifically, three of these ponies come from Utopia: one unicorn, one pegasus, and one earth pony. Three more come from Paradise: again, one unicorn, one pegasus, and one earth pony. The seventh pony is also an earth pony, who comes from Elysium. Each of these ponies will make up to two statements; the only true statements will come from ponies whose type and town of residence start with the same letter. Thus: only the Utopian unicorn, Paradisian pegasus, and Elysian earth pony will be truthful; the other four will make only false statements. And your task, Twilight, is simply to classify all seven ponies. Do that successfully, and you will earn your friend’s freedom. But make any mistake, and you will serve in the ranks of the Elysians.”
“I dunno Twilight,” Pinkie remarks. “That seems like a lot of possibilities.”
“Five thousand forty, to be exact,” Twilight answers. “But I have to trust my abilities.”
“One other thing,” Sunbolt adds. “You have thirty minutes to complete this task.”
“What???”
“That’s the deal. Take it or leave it!”
Twilight gulps, as beads of sweat start to form on her forehead. Shaking off her apprehension, Twilight answers Sunbolt: “I accept.”
“Excellent. Now if you’ll be kind enough to levitate Zodiac here to the hallway, Pinkie and I will leave you alone with the Rainbow Seven. You time will begin when the last statement is uttered.”
Using her magic, Twilight lifts the faux-unicorn and moves him to the hallway before gently placing him back on the ground. Sunbolt and Pinkie then exit the room, leaving Twilight with the seven monochrome faux-alicorns.
Red makes one statement: “I’m a Utopian pegasus.”
Orange makes two statements: “I’m a Paradisian pegasus. Blue and I come from the same town.”
Yellow makes two statements: “I am not from Elysium. Indigo and Violet are the same pony type.”
Green makes two statements: “I am from Elysium. Orange is not telling the truth.”
Blue makes two statements: “I am a unicorn. I come from Utopia.”
Indigo makes two statements: “I come from Paradise. Violet comes from Paradise, too.”
Twilight waits for Violet to speak, but Violet just gazes at a wall and says nothing. After five minutes, Twilight leaves the room and addresses Sunbolt: “Is something wrong with Violet?”
“Nothing is wrong with Violet … and you have twenty-five minutes left.”
“WHAT???”
“I never said that they would all make statements,” Sunbolt states, unable to hide a grin. “Twenty-four minutes left.”
Angry at the ruse, Twilight runs back into the room and slams the door behind her.
“That wasn’t very nice, Sunbolt!”
“I would think you would appreciate that, Pinkie. But, I suppose I should not be surprised. After all: in just over twenty minutes, you and your alicorn princess friend will help me end the strife that my fellow earth ponies have suffered for far too long.”
Pinkie looks to the motionless Zodiac, then back to the door to the room. Brain, don’t fail Twilight now …