Princess Twilight Sparkle's School for Fantastic Foals

by kudzuhaiku


Chapter 53

Sumac Apple didn’t think that a night could be so long. He hadn’t slept well at all, he kept having bad dreams about falling, and Pebble had them too. It had been a miserable night and it was shaping up to be a miserable dawn. Half of the sky was a dark blue, Princess Luna blue, and the other half was all rosy pinks, brilliant golds, vivid oranges, and all of the colours of the dawn.

To make matters worse, Sumac knew he was being rotten. He was sulky, he was pouty, and he might have been a little mouthy too. He was cracking under the pressure, he was a lone Apple stuck in a cider squeezer—at any moment now, the pressure would prove to be too much and all of his juices would come a squirtin’ out. ‘Cause that’s what happens to Apples when you squeeze ‘em.

His thoughts felt slow, kludgy, almost as if he was thinking with a drawl.

There was a lot to look at. Giant purple pumpkins, gargantuan vegetables, cabbages as big as buckboard wagons, carrots the size of logs, all of it was due to some magic ash from some volcano and the neutralising power of poison joke. He was a unicorn with no magic, stuck on a farm with giant vegetables. He felt a growing sense of irritation, and with it came the need to grumble.

When he saw something coming, Sumac almost lost his mind. Two somethings coming. Both tall, both walked on hind legs, and both dressed in colourful clothing. Blinking, Sumac tilted his head off to one side and stared at the approaching pair. They were…

“Long Ears! Kabuki! Am I glad to see you!” Cloudy almost skipped with happiness and she was spry for her advancing age. “Has there been any word? Any message? Any news?”

“Twilight has talked with us through Minori’s mirror,” one of the diamond dogs said, the male. “There is little news, but I will share what I know from the mirror network. Reinforcements came down from Canterlot. Future Prince Gosling lead a group called the Broncs Bruisers and they bore the brunt of pushing the enemy out of Ponyville. They suffered heavy casualties.” The diamond dog paused for a moment, bowed his head, and pressed his paws together in front of his chest.

“And?” Igneous had joined Cloudy, and he stood beside her.

“Sparkle’s Spartans were able to regroup and recover. Many of Princess Luna’s heavy shock troops came down to reinforce Gosling and his Broncs Bruisers. By noon, Princess Celestia herself took the field along with her Immortal Solars. They have pushed the enemy south and continue to pursue them with the intent of destroying them or driving them out of Equestria.”

“Mirror network?” Sumac began to feel a little hope.

“Won’t work here,” Igneous said in a stern voice. “Too much magical interference. The total lack of harnessable magic is what keeps all of us safe here. We’ve had to make a few sacrifices.”

“What does ‘casualties’ mean?” Sumac looked around at the adults and the two diamond dogs.

“It means injuries or deaths,” the white faced diamond dog said.

Feeling angry and sad, Sumac stared down at the ground, not knowing what to say or do. Was Lemon Hearts a casualty? He felt a soft touch beneath his chin and he found that his head was being lifted up. He looked into the eyes of the white faced black diamond dog.

“My name is Kabuki. Twilight Sparkle told me to make sure that you get your archery lessons. Look, I brought my bow.” She hiked her thumb at the bow and the arrows that hung from her back. “This is my brother, Long Ears.”

“My magic won’t work so I can’t use a bow.” Sumac felt a growing sense of resentment about not having his magic. He also began to wonder how Twilight had sent him here if magic didn’t work. Then again, she sent him here and his trip terminated here, perhaps magic wasn’t needed, perhaps he stopped because there was no magic here. Just thinking about it made his head hurt.

“Then we shall take you someplace where your magic does work.” The diamond dog, Long Ears, he spoke with a chuckle and a smile could be seen upon his face.

“I don’t know if that is wise.” Cloudy took a step forward.

“The lantern is to remain here, where it cannot be sensed. Sumac is to come with us. Pebble may come along if she so desires.”

“Pebble is in the bath, with Boomer.” Igneous’ face wrinkled with worry.

“I am sorry, but we are under very firm instructions to spend time with Sumac and make certain that he has his archery lessons.” Kabuki bowed her head and then added, “Forgive me, Wise One, I would never be insolent and disrespect my elders on purpose.”

“No, no you wouldn’t.” Still looking worried, Igneous bowed his own head towards Kabuki, then once more at Long Ears. “Fine, you have a few hours. Be gentle on the colt, he’s had himself an ordeal and he hasn’t slept well. I mean it.” Igneous narrowed his eyes. “I know how you two are. That… bushido code of yours. Sumac wasn’t raised in a place full of screaming jump-all-over-the-place sword slicing ninjas. He’s not the martial type.”

“Wise One, we are to be samurai, not ninja.” Long Ears reached up and smoothed back his ears, which were bound together with a ribbon and hung down behind his head.

“Ninjas? Like in the comic books?” Sumac’s own natural curiousity won out.

Kabuki let out a long sigh and she shook her head. “We are not sneak-thief ninja. We are to be samurai, defenders of our clan, once we are old enough. My brother still has not earned a proper sword.”

“Oh, sure, embarrass me, sister.”

“You make it easy, brother.”

“Both of you!” Cloudy snapped. “Don’t make me stand the two of you in a corner again!”

“It is time for us to make a graceful retreat.” Kabuki took a step backwards, her eyes locked on Cloudy. “I have archery lessons to instruct and no desire to be strapped to a plow and given earth pony strength training.”

“The Wise One and the Wiser One have spoken.” Long Ears reached out and before Sumac had a chance to protest, he snatched up the colt and then retreated, following his sister’s lead. “First lesson, Sumac Apple… always know when to retreat gracefully. This is a battle that cannot be won. We face insurmountable odds. Alicorns themselves could not win this battle.”

Too confused to say anything, Sumac allowed himself to be carried away.


As much as Sumac loved archery, his heart just wasn’t into it. He sat there, staring, looking at the hay bales that had been set up in some farmer’s field. His magic was working again, and that was gone. Kabuki was standing nearby, her long, slender arms folded across her chest, and her white ears bobbed in the light wind.

Some distance away, Long Ears was going through a complicated series of motions with an iron sword that glinted dull grey in the early morning light. Sumac turned and watched him for a time. The diamond dog made the same series of movements, over and over, never breaking routine.

“I can’t,” Sumac whined. “I just can’t. I’m too upset.”

“Now is the time that you must.” Kabuki hunkered down and then smoothed out her colourful patchwork tunic. “If being upset prevents you from doing archery, what purpose does it serve? How will you defend others? How will you save Pebble?”

Sputtering, almost enraged, Sumac sat there, his lips flapping, spitting in response. He couldn’t even form the words for a reasonable reply. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a moment to try and calm down. Somewhere, there was a temper tantrum lurking, and Sumac feared it.

“You must be ready to take up your bow in all moods, happy, sad, or angry. You must not let tears cloud your vision. You must not let rage ruin your aim. You must seek balance and control your anger, lest you cause another disturbance with your foul, septic tongue.” Reaching out, Kabuki patted the colt on the back of the neck.

For a second, Sumac was tempted to show Kabuki just what his mouth could do.

“Good, anger is good.” Kabuki reached out and gave Sumac’s cheek a light, painless slap. “Anger is a gift. Anger is neither a positive nor negative emotion. Anger is a primary emotion. Anger gives motivation, and it is what we do with that motivation that determines if our anger becomes a positive or a negative thing.”

Sumac blinked.

“Rage and anger might have lead my brother down a dangerous and dark path, but now, his anger is tempered with a desire to do good. He lets the anger of his memories give him motivation to improve himself, to push himself, to keep going when the fight is hard, if not impossible. His anger motivates him to make things right. Anger is a force like any other, such as artistry, it must be guided, given direction, and allowed to flow in a controlled, creative way. When used properly, anger can be a force for good.”

Kabuki lifted Sumac up on his hooves and turned him towards the hay bales with the targets on them. “Now, you have a problem with your temper, Sumac Apple, and it manifested in the form of a river of vulgarity. You should keep your words sweet, should you ever have to eat them.”

It was all a little too much. Sumac felt like tossing himself down in the dirt and pitching a fit. He was mad fit to burst. His body trembled with rage and his face felt too hot. They had come to his home, to his school, and they had attacked him, his mother, and his friends. They had even attacked Olive, and he was pretty upset about that. His mouth went dry and Sumac could feel the corner of his eye twitching. The tantrum loomed like a thunderhead.

Kabuki held out her bow to him and Sumac eyed it, not knowing what to do next. He was stewing with rage and he felt like crying again, but he didn’t want to do it in front of strangers. Inside of his neck there was a burning batch of coals. A tiny wisp of blue-black smoke curled up from the tip of his horn.

“Anger is a gift,” Kabuki whispered in his ear, and then her paw slapped his backside.

The slap didn’t hurt so much as it startled him. It wasn’t painful, but it infuriated him even more. His tiny nostrils flaring, he snatched the bow, nocked an arrow, drew back, and fired. He missed. Repeating the process, he fired again, and missed. This time, he didn’t even hit a hay bale.

Again, Kabuki whispered in his ear, “Anger is a gift. It gives us courage to face the injustices of the world. I know your anger, Sumac Apple.”

This time, when Sumac drew back on the bow, sparks of lightning traveled along his bow string and his arrow. Baring his teeth, he fired. There was a thunderclap that almost deafened him and his mane stood up on end. The arrow flew true, imbued with all of Sumac’s rage. It struck the edge of the paper target, just outside the outer printed circle.

Snarling, he nocked another arrow, drew back, found his balance, and fired again. This time his arrow hit the outer printed ring. The arrow smoked and the air stunk of ozone. Blood pounded in his ears and throbbed through his neck. He could feel it squirting through his body. Grinding his teeth, he readied another arrow, and thought, anger is a gift.

Much to his shock, his arrow struck the middle printed circle. There were five circles printed on the paper, and he had hit the middle one. His rage vanished. His anger evapourated. He stood there, staring, his mouth open, with Kabuki’s bow still held in his telekinesis. This was his finest shot ever. A sense of accomplishment replaced his seething rage.

“Again!” Kabuki demanded and she slapped the colt across the backside once more.

With a now well practiced, fluid motion, Sumac nocked an arrow, pulled back, aimed, and let go. The arrow wobbled a bit as it departed from the bow, the shaft moving like waves on the water. It was only then that Sumac realised how heavy Kabuki’s bow was and how much effort it took to pull back. He touched the arrow with his magic as it flew, smoothing it out, relaxing the wobble, and with his mind still on the arrow, he guided it to its target.

It plunked into the middle ring once more, down and to the left of where the previous arrow had lodged. Shock and astonishment stymied Sumac’s brain. The bow fell from his telekinetic grasp, but Kabuki grabbed it before it hit the ground. Smiling, she sat down on the grass beside Sumac.

“This is how you defend others. You put aside your tears and you harness your anger. Look, Sumac Apple, at what you have done with your anger. Had those been harpies, you would have hit them, I think.”

“What do you know of harpies?” Sumac asked.

Kabuki's smile became a frown. “Foul creatures. Abominations. Not natural.”

“The same could be said for any monsters.” Sumac sat down in the grass and began taking deep breaths to calm down.

“Harpies are unnatural creatures. There are no males for their species. A long time ago, Grogar the Necromancer learned how to harness the Rainbow of Darkness. He stole phoenix eggs and he placed them into the black sack that was the Rainbow of Darkness. The darkness inside the bag corrupted the eggs, made them wrong. Harpies hatched from those corrupted eggs. The phoenix fire turned into the explosive eggs that harpies shoot from their backside. What was once pure and beautiful became foul and obscene.”

Sumac could remember the explosive eggs all too well. He shuddered. Somehow, Twilight had kept him and Pebble safe from the deadly barrage of explosive rotten eggs that had been fired from the harpies’ posteriours.

“There were an awful lot of harpies in Ponyville,” Sumac said, his voice now soft and almost calm. He thought about the implications. If harpies were not born, then that must mean… the thought chilled him to the bone and he shivered. His front shoulders ached a bit and he felt shaky from almost having a tantrum.

“Come, Sumac Apple. For every arrow you land within the rings of the target, I will answer one question of yours. Let us see if we can make you focus.” Kabuki reached out, placed her paw on the back of Sumac’s neck, and smoothed out his mane. “I will make you earn your answers.”

“Okay,” Sumac replied, offering a nod to Kabuki. “But if I hit the bullseye, I expect a bunch of freebies…”