//------------------------------//
// Chapter 5: Collateral Damage 
// Story: Borderlands 2 DLC: Vault of the Consular 
// by NightStream 
//------------------------------//

After the train ride from Canterlot, the vault hunters were planning on figuring out where to stay while they searched for the vault that Discord told them about. However, in this current moment in time, one vault hunter wasn’t so particularly interested in that conversation. In fact, right now, Gaige was with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and waiting for Mr. Torgue’s “present” to drop down at any moment. He said that he would take some time for it to get over to where they were, but a majority of the time was gobbled up with the train ride back as he tried to find a way to make the wait shorter.

While waiting though, Gaige was able to learn a bit about the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Like who their friends were, siblings, hobbies and also the whole idea behind the “Cutie Mark Crusaders” in the first place. Including going as far as sharing about when the griffon named Gabby wanted their help in getting a cutie mark for her. A task that seemed next to impossible to achieve. But just as they were about to describe how they helped her… “HEY VAULT HUNTER, I GOT A UPDATE FOR YOU!!”

“Mr. Torgue, you do realize that you’re not addressing all of us right now. You can call me by my name.” The Mechromancer pointed out.

“IT’S EASIER FOR ME TO REMEMBER THIS WAY!! ANYWAYS, I WAS ABLE TO FIND A CONVENIENT SHORTCUT TO CUT DOWN YOUR WAIT TIME. IT SHOULD BE ARRIVING SOON!” Mr. Torgue informed the mechromancer as he took a breath. “HOW’S THAT FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE-!?”

“Attention Trespasser,” A new voice that sounded all too familiar to the vault hunter announced as her ears perked up. “You are now trespassing through Hyperion Corporation Aerospace. Stop your ship now or we will send Loader Bots to seize your vessel and cargo.”

“OH F**K!!! NO ONE TOLD ME THAT THIS SHORTCUT WENT THROUGH THAT!!! THAT’S THE LAST F**KING TIME THAT I RELY ON THE ECHO.NET FOR DIRECTIONS!!!” Mr. Torgue shouted. “VAULT HUNTER, ONCE THIS SHIP LANDS, IT NEEDS TIME TO BE CALIBRATED TO THE ECHONET. DEFEND THAT VESSEL AT ALL COSTS!!!”

“Girls…” Gaige said as she looked at the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Run to Twilight’s castle and find Axton and the others…”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Sweetie Belle asked, just as Gaige brought out a certain shotgun that she kept in her inventory for special occasions.

“Things are about to get hairy… and I can’t do this alone.” She told them, priming the weapon. “Now hurry!!” All the girls soon bolted from the scene as Torgue’s vessel crashed in an open clearing nearby. That was soon followed by several loader bots crashing down in the area as Gaige summoned deathtrap.

“It’s robot fightin time!!”




“Um, not that I don’t appreciate that… but why exactly did Rarity offer me to stay at her place when it would make more sense to stay here in the castle. I mean it is only you, Spike, and Starlight here anyway.” Axton asked. He was just told that the seamstress had offered the commando a place to stay with her and… was kind of puzzled as to why.

“Well, Maya had already asked if she could stay with me, Tina decided to stay with Pinkie and Salvador, Zer0 is with Fluttershy and Krieg… well… I’m not sure where he is, but I believe he is in good hooves. Not only that, but she personally told me to tell you…” Twilight replied, trying to explain to her. “Though, on the subject of staying, Spike did vouch for Gaige to stay here with us… plus he pointed out that it would be completely hard for you to stay in Cloudsdale without having a cloudwalking spell cast on you.”

“Alright, but then why didn’t she just ask me herself instead of making you ask me? I mean that makes more sense that way.”

“She wanted me to pass it on to you since she had to get to work on a couple of dresses some clients of hers commissioned-.” The princess replied, just as they all heard the sounds of three sets of hooves gallop into the room. “What the?”

Axton turned to see the girls he remembered from the first time he was on the train to Ponyville, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, galloping in like they were trying to run from something. All three of them were panting and gasping for air as they arrived in the middle of the room where they were. 

“So what has you three running like you are getting chased by a rabid skag?” 

“G-gaige…” Sweetie Belle panted, trying to catch her breath… “H-help…” For a moment, Axton looked back at Twilight with a raised eyebrow before hearing Scootaloo catch her breath and speak.

“Gaige t-told us to find you… She needs help…” Scootaloo spoke up. Axton wanted to hear some more from the filly. But it was what they heard next on his ECHO device that really caught his attention… that and the sound of shotgun fire.

“I spy a BADASS!!!”

“Oh sh*t, looks like something tagged along for the ride here.” Axton commented as he ran outside. Watching as several different loader bots crashed down… including a HUGE one with cannons where the arms would be. It was labeled as “Super Badass Loader” on Axton’s ECHO and the commotion soon caught some attention.

“Axton, what the hell is going on?” He heard Maya ask him as she raced out to where he was.

“Some Loaders decided to tag along for the ride with Torgue's present.” Axton told her.

“Well with Salvador distracted, Zer0 at Fluttershy’s and Krieg at… wherever the hell he is-.” Just in that moment, the two of them watched the psycho that they were just talking about race past them and towards the carnage… while also getting bigger in size.

“Get out, get out, GET OUT!!!!!”

“Aw crap…” Maya cursed.

“W-what’s happening with Krieg?” Starlight asked, worried about what was going on and looking at Axton and Maya.

“Three words… Release the Beast… and also another reason why we should get over there and you need to find shelter.” Maya said, pulling out her HellFire SMG and racing over to where Gaige was. “Come on Axton, you’ve been wanting to blow stuff up all day and now’s your chance!!”

“You’re damn right I’m coming with, I am not missing out on this!” He said as he pulls out the Swordplosion and ran after the psycho and the siren.



Right now in the present moment, Gaige was already having to deal with constant waves of loaders coming at her from all directions and right now, she had been wondering where the hell was her backup. She had Deathtrap, which was obvious, but the Mechromancer was worried if the Cutie Mark Crusaders were able to tell Axton what was happening. But just as a super badass loader dropped several meters away and she was going to aim at it with the Hyperion Shotgun she had called the “Conference Call”... something happened.

On your right. Behind you…

“What the-?” The Mechromancer thought to herself, until having to barrel out of the way as Krieg soon came barreling in in his Badass psycho form. Which was kind of ironic because it reminded her of the sacrifice table at Dragon Keep… and one of the sayings it said.

A badass to fight a badass!

“Gaige!!” The Mechromancer heard as she saw Maya began to open fire and Axton deploying his Sabre Turrets.

“About time you guys showed up. Thanks for warning me about Krieg.” She complimented, only causing Maya to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

“What warning?” That confused Gaige in that moment, because she honestly thought that Maya was somehow using her Siren powers to communicate telepathically… but that wasn’t their highest priority.

“Alright, help me fight these guys off. Mr. Torgue says that this gift of his needs time in order to connect to the Echo.net and we need to defend it until it’s up.” She informed them. “Where are we at, Torgue?!”

“FORTY FIVE PERCENT COMPLETE!!!”

“Well isn’t this just grand, but we need to make sure that no Loaders decide to get trigger happy and aim for the town.” Axton said as he fires away at the Loaders, quickly killing one after another that aren’t in the way of Krieg. “YOU get a bullet, and YOU get a bullet, EVERYBODY GETS A BULLET HAHAHAHAHA!!” While that was happening, Maya and Gaige focused any of the stray loaders that weren’t killed by Krieg and Axton. The more they killed, the higher in percentage that the present was in connecting to the Echo.net. But just as things were clearing up… the four vault hunters heard something… else.

“Resistance still detected… Launching Saturn v2.0.”

“Oh you have got to be kidding me…” Gaige said, just as the giant loader landed… and stood tall amongst all four of them.

“HOLY S**T!! THAT IS ONE BIG ASS ROBOT!!!”

“You’re NOT HELPING, TORGUE!!!”

“I WANNA KNOW WHY THE F*CK THE LOADERS CAME HERE IN THE FIRST F*CKING PLACE!!” Axton yelled.

“BLAME THE ECHONET!! I ASKED IT FOR DIRECTIONS AND THE SHORTCUT IT GAVE ME LEAD TO THIS!!!” Mr. Torgue shouted. “HOLD OUT A LITTLE BIT LONGER! WHEN THIS IS DONE LOADING, IT’LL SEND OUT AN EMP BURST THAT SHOULD DISABLE IT!”

“Uhh… wouldn’t that also disable our equipment?!” Gaige questioned.

“NOPE!! IT ONLY WORKS ON HYPERION BASED TECH!! HOW ELSE DO YOU THINK WE WERE ABLE TO REPROGRAM ALL THE LOADER BOTS WE TOOK FROM HYPERION FOR THE CAMPAIGN OF CARNAGE!? SCIENCE, MOTHERF**KERS!!!” Mr. Torgue shouted, just as the loader bot locked onto their location.

“Oh sh-!!” Before anyone could be able to do anything, a barrage of missiles were fired on their location. Gaige closed her eyes, thinking that somehow she and the others will get thrown backwards in the blast… but when she opened them… she not only found her and her allies unharmed… but she found themselves inside of a dome shield.

“Okay, did Axton’s turret just protect us or something?” Gaige asked, confused by what was happening.

“Hey Gaige, it’s not my turret. It’s coming from you, because your horn is glowing right now.” Axton answered Gaige’s question. 

“It is?” She asked, looking up to see the magic glowing from it. “Holy… sh*t…” Shaking her head for a moment, she looked back at the others and then said something. “Nevermind that, let’s hold this guy off until we get word from Torgue on when this thing is synced with the Echo.net!”

“TURN IT INTO SCRAP METAL!!!”

“What Krieg said…” Gaige replied, using her arm to call on Deathtrap again as she dismissed the barrier. “Let’s have some fun!!”

“Time to start chewing them up!” Axton yelled out as he tosses out his turrets once again. The amount of gunfire and bullets towards the oversized loader bot did damage it. But the point of the fight was not to destroy the loader, but to stall it. Still though, it did allow for the vault hunters to use any tactics necessary to stall Saturn. Even if that meant destroying a few of the weapons that it would use to try and obliterate them.

“KEEP IT UP!! IT’S ALMOST DONE!! JUST NEED THIRTY MORE SECONDS!!!” Mr. Torgue updated them as Axton and Gaige shot off the turrets that were on it’s legs and loader arms. Maya laid down a suppressing barrage from her SMG while Krieg… well, he kept being unpredictable. This lasted for a while until they felt something flow past them and caused the loader bot a few moments to fall over… before exploding. “MEEEEEDLYMEEEEEDLYMOWW!! AND DONE!!! MY PRESENT FOR YOU GUYS SHOULD BE COMPLETELY OPERATIONAL AND THE LOADER BOTS SHOULD BE DEAD. BEST BONUS EVER!!!!”

“Uh… Not to sound ungrateful Mr. Torgue…” Gaige spoke up. “But what does this… contraption do?”

“SIMPLE!! IT’S A SUPPLY DROP POD. SINCE IT HAS ACCESS TO THE ECHONET, YOU CAN BE ABLE TO ACCESS SERVICES LIKE DR. ZED’S PORTABLE CLINIC, MARCUS’S MUNITIONS AND GUNS STORE AND ALSO THE QUICK CHANGE MACHINE. I EVEN MADE IT TO WHERE YOU CAN STORE ANY WEAPONS THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP, BUT NOT HAVE SPACE IN YOUR INVENTORY. ISN’T THAT F**KING AWESOME!?!”

“Gotta admit that, it is pretty handy Mr.Torgue. At least we know we won’t run out of ammo now.”

“YEP!! OH AND BY THE WAY, THAT LAST LOADER BOT DROPPED SOME GEAR!!” Mr. Torgue shouted as Gaige turned around to see what it was.

“Holy sh*t… Guys, that bot dropped an Invader!” The Mechromancer turned to the others as she pulled it out of the wreckage. “I might not be one for sniper rifles, but this may be handy for anyone that wants it.”

“Well does it have any elemental attunements or no?” Axton questioned shortly afterwards.

“Let me see the stats… Longitudinal Invader… 6% recoil reduction… 8.9x weapon zoom… Incendiary attunement. Perfect for anyone interested in burning the crap out of anything or just roasting barbecue.” Gaige chuckled as she handed it off to Axton to look for himself.

“Hmm, not bad but I already have the Volcano so I don’t need it for myself.” 

“What about Zer0? He may want to look into it if he wants to try something other than the Lyuda he carries.” The Mechromancer suggested. “And speaking of him… He’s coming here with Salvador and the girls-.”

“NEW TOYS!!!” They heard the Gunzerker shout as he raced over to them. Almost leaving every other pony in a cloud of dust as he looked at the scavenged loot and money that was littered along the plains like trash. All while Twilight placed a hoof to her face and sighed.

“Should I even ask what happened?” She asked, looking at the graveyard of dead robots and seeing Salvador and Krieg tear through them like maniacs to try and find any loot for them to pick up.

“This is perfectly normal actually, well for us anyway.” Axton replied to Twilight with a smirk. All while Zer0 went up and inspected the sniper rifle that Gaige was holding.

“Powerful indeed/A perfect weapon to add/to my arsenal.” He commented, adding it to his inventory. Other then than, mostly everything was quiet… until one of the ponies decided to speak up about Torgue’s… Supply drop.

“Okay, so is anypony actually going to ask what the heck is this thing?” Rainbow asked while she was sitting on top of it. Something that wasn’t exactly the best idea in that moment… especially when Mr. Torgue’s face caused her to fall forward onto Applejack in the process.

“OH COME ON!!! DO I SERIOUSLY NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW IT WORKS AGAIN!? I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME EXPLAINING IT THE LAST TIME!!!!”

“Calm down, I got this,” Gaige then spoke up, looking back at the others. “Normally on Pandora, we are able to acquire ammunition, guns and medicine through two methods. One is opening any possible box in sight, which is time wasting… the other is going to a series of vending machines that allow us to stock up on supplies for a small fee. Mr. Torgue sent us a supply drop pod that works like the vending machines back on Pandora so we don’t need to run out of bullets and ammo anytime soon.”

“THANK YOU!!!”

“You’re welcome.” Gaige replied. “Only problem was that the shortcut that Mr. Torgue was given attracted some loader bots to the cargo and we needed to defend it a little… which explains all the carnage around here.”

“I… see…” The alicorn explained. “That does seem very… useful. But how exactly aren’t we suppose to clean them up? You can’t just throw them away like paper-.”

“Or eat them like bodies!!!” That had everypony turn to Salvador as he was confused as to why they were looking at him with terrified looks on his face. “What? Was it something I said?”

“Maybe we should go back to the castle first… Hey, Mr. Torgue, can your supply drop be moved?”

“WHY OF COURSE!! JUST PRESS THE TORGUE LOGO AT THE SIDE OF IT TO HAVE IT COMPRESS TO IT’S “CARGO MODE”! PRESS IT AGAIN TO HAVE IT REACTIVATE!”

“Thanks for the help.” The Mechromancer commented.

“YOU ARE WELCOME, YOU BADASS MOTHERF**KERS!!!!”



Meanwhile in Sanctuary… 

The Siren named Lilith once again sighed to herself from her current position inside the command center of the Crimson Raiders. Frustrated yes… but also a bit concerned. Downstairs, her friend Brick was practicing his punching by beating the ever living crap out of a punching bag on the bottom floor of the command center while out on the balcony, Mordecai was tending to his new pet bird, Talon. After giving his pet a treat, the former vault hunter walked into the room, noticing Lilith as she scanned not only the digital map board that was in the center of the room, but paying attention to her ECHO device.

“You okay there, Lil?” He asked, concerned. “You look like something’s bothering you.” Now that someone had noticed, the Siren couldn’t just brush it off anymore like she normally would.

“Yeah, it’s more likely something’s… well, not normal.” Lilith responded.

“Since when is anything not normal on Pandora?” Mordecai pointed out to her. “Since the first vault was opened, barely anything on this planet is normal now.”

“Touche’.” The siren replied. “But what I mean is something different… I’ve been trying to get a hold of Tiny Tina and see how she’s doing and… every time I tried, I’ve had to leave a message.”

Now that the hunter knew what was on her mind, he could speak his peace now. “Yeah… that is definitely not normal… even for Tina. She’s rather quick to answer her ECHO anytime we needed her help for something… How long has this been going on?”

“Well, that’s the thing… She hasn’t contacted to us since Gaige, Axton and the others went looking for that vault that the mystery guy at Moxxi’s was talking about… Not to mention that we’ve been hearing less of Claptrap since then too…” Lilith answered Mordecai’s question as she looked back at him. “And that was only a couple of days ago.”

“You don’t think something happened to them now… do you?” Mordecai questioned as he tossed his knife in the air as a way to make sure that he still had his reflexes.

“It’s hard to say…” The siren simply answered, but before they could continue on with their conversation, they could hear someone else shouting from the bottom floor.

“EUREKA!!!”

“Well, looks like Tannis has been busy,” Lilith sighed. “And I thought that having her construct digistruct peak would have her be occupied for some time while we sort things out here.”

“Well, whatever she found out must be somehow important… if not, she wouldn’t even consider committing herself to a task unless it’s worth her time.” Mordecai told her. “Should we go see what’s going on or-?”

“CLEAR THE TABLE!!” The two of them heard the scientist from downstairs, prompting Lilith to remove anything that was on the holographic table as Tannis barged into the room. Even with the amount of times that they had seen her work, Lilith and Mordecai noticed that she looked like she had not slept in days due to… whatever she was working on. 

“Tannis, are you alright?” Lilith asked.

“Alright? Alright!? Well, to be fair, with the lack of sleep I’ve had and also my work… Wait, why are you asking me about my work when we have more pressing matters at hand related to what I just uncovered!?!”

“Wait… isn’t what you just uncovered technically your work?” Mordecai questioned. That only lead to Tannis staring him down with an evil glare as the hunter sighed. “Nevermind, forget that I asked… I’m going to get Brick. I have a feeling that he may want to see this too.”

Sighing a little, Lilith turned to Tannis as Mordecai went downstairs. “What was it that you found, Tannis?”

“Found would not exactly be the term you would use for finding a series of echo recordings and footage that may relate to your current personal dilemma involving the Vault Hunters and that little rascal that likes to refer to warheads as badonkadonks…” Tannis replied back as she set down her ECHO recorder very close to her and even went as far as inching it closer to her so Lilith wouldn’t want to touch it. “When I was monitoring the ECHO readings from Digistruct Peak, I had also… stumbled, if that is the appropriate term, upon some rather… unusual ECHO activity far away from Pandora…”

“O… kay, how far are we actually talking about?” Lilith wondered, posing the question to her.

“Much farther away than any of the planets we do know about such as Athenas, EDEN 5, and the usual. In fact… this is a planet that’s much… secluded from various other planets right now in the system.” The Scientist used the chance to bring up a map that they had uncovered shortly after Jack and the Warrior were killed and Pandora was freed from the Hyperion Jerkwads that invaded the planet originally. Using the holographic capabilities of the table, Dr. Tannis soon zoomed in on a particular point on the map that… indeed… was pretty far away from any other nearby planets. “Normally, there are never any form of ECHO readings from this planet, but over the past couple of days…”

“You found something?”

“Bravo! With that kind of insight, you may be smarter than the average slab that you would find around-.”

“I HEARD THAT!!”

“Oh, my apologies… I didn’t seem to notice you there…” Tannis replied as she crossed her arms while Brick and Mordecai re-entered the room. “As I was saying… this small planet has gotten more ECHO activity within a short timeframe so that got me to think… why would that be?”

“And what the hell are we talking about exactly?” Mordecai asked.

“Tannis… If I would take a guess at what you’re trying to tell us, I would assume that you found something abnormal or strange on that planet?” Lilith asked.

“A valid hypothesis… but not entirely correct.” Tannis replied. “A few moments ago, I heard you talk to Mordecai through the ceiling cracks that were above my workstation on how you were concerned about the missing vault hunters and Ms. Tina… Well… what would you say if I told you that I think I found them?”

That had Lilith looking back at Mordecai and Brick… surprised, but also partially confused. “What leads you to believe that they were somehow taken off of Pandora and stranded in god knows where?” She asked.

“So let me get this straight here. You know where they are, including Tina, and you are now just telling us?” 

“She just figured it out Brick, cut her some slack… and not literally.” Mordecai sighed.

“Ironically, that was the same question I thought originally… then I discovered that there was a satellite there from the TORGUE corporation that was orbiting the planet and with that, I pulled off several different ECHO recordings. Some with visual footage… Now be warned… what you’re about to see almost looks like it came out of an animated ECHONET show for youngsters, but first, I want you to listen to these audio only recordings.” Tannis told them as she began to play the first of several different sound bytes. 

“How long did Braeburn say this ride was going to be again, I mean the trains on Pandora are way faster than this one. Then again Pandora was more technologically advanced.” The first voice Lilith heard she could tell right away was Axton, and with the sounds of a honking horn on a train in the background, it sounded like they were onboard one.

“Who knows. My best guess is that since this train operates a lot like the ones in Lynchwood, I would think a couple hours. Hell, they still run on coal I believe.” Another voice was heard, which sounded a lot like Gaige as the four of them listened in. “Hopefully we’ll be there soon. I would actually like to talk to somebody who can probably help us with our situation. Heck, they may know where Maya and the others are… hopefully.” The short conversation that was held between the two of them was soon cut short once they heard three other voices… that lead to them calling the mechromancer ma’am. 

“Okay… for your information kids, I’m not twenty three. I’m actually fifteen.”

“Then why do you have a metal foreleg? I always thought that ponies like my granny would need something like a walker to help them.” That almost lead to Lilith choking a little on some water that she was trying to drink once she heard that.

“Okay… did I honestly hear that right?” She asked everyone else in the room.

“There’s more… listen to the ending of this sound byte.” Tannis advised them, just as the clip reached the end of the recording. “Attention Passengers, we are now approaching Ponyville Station. I repeat, we are now approaching Ponyville station. Thank you for riding the Friendship Express and have a wonderful day!”

“Okay, I feel like I want to have my head in a toilet after hearing that.” Mordecai groaned, gulping down whatever was caught in his throat.

“What. The. Actual hell did I just hear? Are they talking about literal ponies here or something? Because I know for a fact ponies can’t talk, I mean it would be strange if Butt Stallion just started talking all of a sudden.”

“Yes… I originally thought that, but that appears to be the case… The rest of these recordings have visual footage and trust me… they’re not joking… Oh and Lilith, you might want to turn down the volume on this. The only way that this footage was actually captured was through a conversation with our favorite overly buff and shirtless swearer.” Lilith sighed upon hearing that as she took the necessary precautions. When the clip started, it seemed simple enough… showing Mr. Torgue in his office as he started up a conversation with Gaige on the other line… the moment that he had the chat turn face to face was when things got… weird.

“WHO SAID THAT? HANG ON A SECOND, LET ME TURN ON THE CAMERA FEATURE ON THE ECHO SO WE CAN TALK FACE TO FACE!! FACETIME, MOTHERF**KERS!!!” The second it turned on, what appeared to be a pony version of Gaige was now on the other half of the screen… and the reactions from everyone else in the room were varied… but nothing like Torgue’s. “HOLY F**KING S**T ON A F**KING POGO STICK!!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!?!”

“What the hell!? Is that… Gaige?!” Lilith asked, only leading to Tannis nodding her head in response.

“GOD DAMN, WHAT KINDA BULLSH*T CAUSED THIS?!”

“That… I’m not sure,” Tannis replied as the clip even showed Axton as a stallion along with some of the other figures that were in the room. “But listen to this part when Mr. Torgue asks for a recap on what exactly happened…”

“Well, to keep it brief, someone in Sanctuary knew where a vault was, all of us were there and the next thing you know, Axton and I end up in the Desert on another planet and turned into… well this.” Gaige replied, motioning to the rest of her body.

“OH I SEE… SO THAT’S HOW IT HAPPENED-!!”

“Uh… why does he always shout?” That small tidbit was what Lilith and the others remembered from the first ECHO recording as they heard Mr. Torgue asking who said that… and Gaige turned the camera on her ECHO device to focus on three fillies in the vicinity.

“OH MY GOD… THOSE THREE ARE SO F**KING ADORABLE!!! THEY’RE LIKE AN EXPLOSION OF ADORABLENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Well… He’s… not wrong there…” Lilith commented as she looked back at Tannis.

“They make me think of Dusty.” Brick commented, making Lilith think that he was actually going to get emotional. The clip continued to show the surprising arrival of both Salvador and Zero with two other ponies, one that happened to have a pair of wings and then later… Krieg’s dramatic entrance.

“HONEY, I’M HOME!!!”

“Dear god, Krieg just looks even weirder on that freaking planet.” Mordecai grimaced at the sight of the psycho. The clip ended though the second the group heard this particular sentence after one of the ponies got a letter involving a child with a strange choice of dialect.

“Gaige… I believe I think we know who that child is-.”

“Don’t tell me… are you thinking it’s Tiny Tina?” The group heard Maya ask before having to give the short explanation to the pony that they were talking to.

“... Do you think Tina is also a pony?”

Lilith wasn’t able to respond by the time Dr. Tannis played the third ECHO recording for them. This one showing Gaige, Axton, two ponies and what looked like a walking lizard with them. Right away, Brick’s question was answered. “Hey, is it just me… or am I smelling fresh crumpets?”

“You’re right about that, and that can only mean one thing.”

“You are CORDIALLY INVITED, BITCH!!” That… was definitely Tina’s voice. Brick knew that for sure. And that was soon followed by seeing Tina bolt into Axton with so much energy that it knocked both him and all the gear on his back to the ground. “Oh my god… you guys are here too? BEST DAY EVAAAAA!!!”

“Woah, why does she have a horn and wings?”

“You mean like the grape taffy pony next to them?” Tannis asked, pausing the clip. “Well, judging from the footage I did see, it seems that there are more than one species of equines in this world.” Taking a moment to bring up four different points in the ECHO recordings previously, the scientist pointed out different ponies with different characteristics. “From the information with these recordings, there seems to be four main species. The first one I’m dubbing Earth Ponies since I saw some clips where they were the ones doing all the hard work and labor in the fields and farms. The second one is… well, you can probably already tell because of the horn on it’s head.”

“Unicorns? That’s a thing here?” Lilith asked.

“Indeed. Not only that, but the third one are those with wings, so there are also pegasus here too… Which leads me to believe that what Tina is may be a combination of all three… and also a rare species that is only seen amongst nobles… Listen here.” She advised as the scientist took the recording off of pause.

“You’re here too, girl? Woohoo!!! This is awesome! Even more awesome than that sun pony with the best badonkadonk on the entire planet!!” They heard Tina yell as one of the other ponies raised an eyebrow.

“Wait… are you talking about… Princess Celestia?”

“She called herself that, but I was like PFFFT!! Now if only this place had somepony that looked like Butt Stallion…” She grinned, followed by having her eyes drift to a Unicorn that looked almost like the diamond horse that Jack had. “FOUND HER!!!”

“GAAH!!!”

“...... Oh my god, Tina just insulted the ruler of another planet, did she?” Lilith asked, leading to her sighing and also facepalming herself. “How can this get any worse?”

“Claptrap’s there too-.”

“Goddammit…” Mordecai cursed. “No wonder I had a bad feeling that he was somehow there too.”

Tannis ended the ECHO recording shortly afterwards, but not before the vault hunters noticed something that didn’t exactly… fit the scene. And that was the being that stood next to one of the “princesses” that was in the room.

“What the f*ck is that? It looks like something you might find in a stalker sh*t pile.”

“Or one of Dr. Zed’s experiments gone wrong,” Mordecai commented. “Hell, a LOT of them go wrong that it isn’t even funny.”

“Honestly, I do not know, but I did catch during the explanation to the princesses that the beings name was Discord,” Tannis replied, ending the clip and pulling up one final one. “This last one though… is where things get interesting.” The scene opened with a simple weapons demonstration that Tannis fast forwarded it through, but once this… Discord began to spoke, almost all of the Vault Hunter’s guns were aimed at it.

“IS IT JUST ME, OR DID THIS GUY SOMEHOW ALREADY BETRAY THE F**K OUT OF YOU!?!!”

“You’re damn right he did!!!” They heard Gaige snarl.

“W-what’s going on?”

“What the hay is all this for!?”

The next line from Maya though… made Brick snap. “This son of a bitch is the reason why we got sent here in the freaking first place!!”

“When I find this Discord I will personally RIP OUT HIS F*CKING TEETH AND FEED THEM TO HIM!!!”

“Brick, calm down-.” Lilith urged, but her comment was heard on deaf ears. However, when Discord spoke again after Axton told him something, they heard something that caught their attention.

“Oh sure, shoot a god of chaos… How’s that going to turn out for you?” They heard him say as with a snap, all of the weapons the vault hunters had at the ready stuck to the ceiling like magnets. “Besides, I don’t do things without a reason… and I wasn’t lying when I told you about a vault.”

“Did he just say… a god of chaos?” Mordecai asked. “Okay, either someone slipped some Rakk ale in one of my meals today or I am hearing things.”

“I don’t smell any alcohol… and I heard that as well.” Lilith replied, “However, this guy seems a little… what’s the word… crazy?” They watched as the rest of the clip played out before Tannis closed the recording.

“More likely strange… There are a lot of things here that don’t make sense.” Mordecai spoke up, before feeling the hairs along his neck stand up. Something didn’t seem right… but when Lilith looked at him… her eyes instantly widened.

“Holy… sh*t…”

“What’s wrong, Lil-?”

“Well now, my friend… Tell me…” He heard a new voice, causing a chill to run down his spine as he turned around. That same god of chaos that they were originally listening too… was right behind them. “What fun is there in making sense?”