That's Amore
by Present Perfect
Starlight Glimmer hyperventilated as she ran into the castle library, her friends bickering in the fwa-yay behind her. She'd been so sure she could combine all those friendship lessons into one; why was everything suddenly going so wrong?
"Okay, Starlight," she said to herself, "you've got this. A hoofful of friendship lessons is nothing compared to the recipes you've mastered."
She grabbed a hoofful of books off the shelves nearby to stir her creativity. Yes, just move her focus off the problem and onto solving it, and things would surely fall into place in no time!
"Maybe if I cook a little food to help things along, something simple and safe..."
She speed-read two books simultaneously, flipping back and forth. With a gasp, she landed on the answer.
"Fettuccine carbonara! That's not bad. They all love pasta, but is it enough?"
Sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth, Starlight scoured the second book more thoroughly.
"Oh... Maybe some oregano so they're more... spicy..." She frowned for a moment before a thought struck her. "Or maybe oregano combined with fettuccine carbonara!" She laughed and smacked herself in the head. "I've never thought of putting the two together before. Goodbye, days of eating plain oregano!"
She was a horse, so eating just plants by the hoofful was normal for her.
"Yes, that would work nicely," she said decisively, bringing the books to rest atop one another. She noted something in the upper left of the forefront book and grinned. "With a hint of parmigiano-reggiano to be sure it's cheesy!"
Starlight was so clever. She knew this because she was the pony most likely to recognize her own cleverness. The magic started to happen in her horn.
It ceased abruptly as she became aware of a noise. It was oddly muffled, like... like it was coming from outside. But that was crazy. She was a couple of stories up, and it wasn't like things were capable of both making noise and flying.
Frowning, she moved to the nearest window and opened the shutters. The sound became immediately louder. It sounded like somepony screaming, though the volume was growing and growing, as though they were...
Her face dropped. "Coming closer!"
She slammed the shutters closed with her magic and galloped away from the window, but it was too late. Something large, dark and screamy burst through the crystal window, scattering shards across the library floor. Starlight ran for the door, but she wasn't fast enough. Despite entering the castle like a comet, the large something curved to intercept her.
The next thing Starlight knew, her face was covered in a hoofful of pizza. Which was an entire pizza, forcefully delivered by the Princess of the Moon.
She stopped in her tracks as the hot, melty mozzarella, tomato sauce, onions, mushrooms and olives oozed down her face. The bulk of the pizza loosed and hit the floor with a loud slap.
Now able to see through her cheesy prison, Starlight found herself in the presence of none other than Princess Luna, Guardian of the Night. She would have bowed, except her face was kind of on fire at the moment. Not screaming was about the best she could do.
Princess Luna moved forward until she was even with Starlight, then bent down and hissed in her ear.
"Sssssssstop."
Starlight turned to watch Luna as she continued back toward the window. Pausing in the frame, Luna gave her a pointed look; specifically, she pointed at her eyes with a hoof, then pointed to Starlight. Then Luna was gone.
Starlight stared, dumbfounded, at the hoofful of crystal shards littering the floor. Most of the cheese was still on her face, and it was starting to cool and harden.
"This is my life now," said Starlight Pizza.
They were going to call her that for the rest of her life. And then Twilight would come home and never believe what had happened and force Starlight to clean up the Princess's mess, and call her Starlight Pizza too.
She sighed. Sadly, it could have been worse.
"At least I didn't do something really stupid, like mind-control my friends."