Madhouse Files: The Journal of Dr. Wolf

by Bendita Locura


Stood in Firelight, Sweltering

Perhaps it's best to introduce the effective scribe of whatever this is. My name is Raymond Truman Ferrier, but perhaps it's best if I don't say much else. Long story short, I've got my pony plushies talking to me. When we're not talking about the weather or making fun of whatever shitty movie my former Dean of Students pays me to watch as a joke, they're very secretive, either not saying much or whispering among themselves. I would tell somebody else about this, if anyone wanted me around. In either case, a couple days after we were chased out of the house by Mac Tonight rapping about his hatred of black people (seriously), I found pieces of a journal in a room Twilight was inexplicably staring down on the day in question. This revelation was unnerving to say the least. I figured it was best to not be seen with it, so I hid it to read later. One night, a voice spoke to me while in my computer that sounded like "Dr. Wolf", a content creator on YouTube and known name in the brony community. All he said was

"If I am to tell you my story, you must be aware that I have experienced radical changes in my life before, so forgive me if my measure of the most recent events is less traumatized and more resigned. I might have evolved, but some instinct to stave off pain remains."

I can only assume this is permission to publish what bits of the journal I have so far, which matched up to what I know of the character. So I do so in secret when I know they're distracted. In fact, getting them distracted enough I can write in peace is partially why I held off publishing what I have as long as I did.

- Ray Ferrier
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27th of New Snow, 1485

I'm used to the kindness of ponies. It's why I live here. But sometimes their eagerness to make their friends feel good can lead to unfortunate consequences and ethical dilemmas. This journal was a Hearth's Warming gift from Princess Twilight Sparkle, who encouraged me to use it as a way to get my thoughts and feelings out, since I spent so much time helping others do the same. I had hesitations about what I would or should be writing about, but the Princess told me not to worry about breaking doctor-patient confidentiality since the journal was not meant be read by anyone's eyes but my own. I'm only now writing in it after putting it off and thinking through it for two days. During that time, I had a few appointments with a few denizens of Ponyville, notably Diamond Tiara (with a consent form from her parents, of course). All in all, just another day in Equestria.

31st of New Snow, 1485

Well, this'll be quite the way to start the new year! An announcement has been read across the land from Canterlot announcing a exciting new find by Princess Luna and some of her associates: Lunar Power as a way to power traditionally magic driven devices! The implications for Equestrian society as a whole are almost impossible to comprehend. Hearing the description of how it was done alone made my head spin. Sure, Equestria had its fair share of modern technology, but this calls for the dawn of a new age. It reminds me of what Granny Smith told me about blacksmithing, a common way to mold metals into tools. From what she could recollect from a conversation years ago, she told me it was important to strike while the iron is hot, because that was when you could bend and mold metal however you wanted. In that case, come this New Star, the iron is as hot as it's ever been in my lifetime, at least. As to what image of a future Equestria we will mold it into is yet to be seen. Counting down to the new year has never been so exciting!

1st of New Star, 1486

Today, I got a visit from Princess Twilight who told me a scientist from Canterlot wanted to speak to me and me only. She assumed he heard about my reputation and decided to ask. I told her I was more than happy to do so. It would be interesting to have a client that special, but beyond that I didn't give it much thought.

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Guy has a hell of a memory to be able to remember and transcribe these conversations at a later time. Or maybe there's something else. It's hard to say.
-Ray

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This new patient knocked as I was reading a book on the physiology of dragons. I invited him in like I always did and he stepped through the door. Right through, without even opening it. I admit, I would have been more put off if magic was fully explained by our society. The pony donned a white lab coat, an aquamarine coat, no mane and spectacles. His cutie mark was especially curious: the world in the center and the sun and moon orbiting it like electrons.

"Good evening, Mr? Ummm..." It's truly dreadful to not be able to properly address a patient. First impressions and all.

"Dr. Split Manehatten" He said in a most definite, almost austere way.

"Will Dr. Manehatten work?" I know Twilight thinks I can be too formal, but I've found it helps.

"That will work fine." He seemed almost staring at nothing.

"Would you like to sit down?"

"Yes." And he does. I sit in my chair, with my notepad. The clock strikes 11. He winces at the chimes, though he tries his hardest to hide it. I couldn't let any prolonged silence slip away.

"So, Dr. Manehatten, tell me what is on your mind."

He sighs in preparation to tell me. "It's the discovery of this new lunar power we can harness, oddly enough called Firelight."

I must have not heard the official term last night. "Now that you mention it, that does sound peculiar."

"Hardly surprising, though. Dr. Burner always had some prejudice against Luna. A thousand years isn't enough for some ponies, I guess."

"I see. Is this what you came here for?"

"No. It's something else. The Firelight itself. Tell me, Doc. What do you make of it?"

"Well, I see it as the future."

"I suppose that much is true. Whether we like or not."

This comment in particular started raising warning lights. Nonetheless, I had a job to do. "How so?"

"The night before the discovery was made public, we were celebrating what Firelight could mean for our civilization. All the problems and injustices it could solve. We were too tipsy to think about the ones it could create. Appaloosa cider can do that to you. It was like New Years' came early. Or Hearth's Warming again depending on who you asked. Years of labor commissioned by Princess Luna after her return finally paid off. We were just happy something came out of it. Except for Dr. Bunsen Burner. A stallion that takes his work so seriously that even Starswirl the Bearded would tell him to go outside. He came in with a tactless "ahem" and the room fell silent."

For some reason I can't explain, the eleven chimes played out in my head as I pictured that moment when the party ended.

"I still remember what he said: 'This discovery excites me as much as it does you, in fact, probably more. But what you've failed to realize that with this power comes a responsibility that the average pony can't even fathom, a responsibility that this team has failed to even strive for in the years I have dragged you all through this project. To the contrary, ladies and gentlecolts, our work is FAR FROM OVER! And yet you stumble over your new powers like schoolfillies. Get on your coats and join me in the central conduit NOW!'"


"We reluctantly made our way over, some of us still carrying our drinks. There was a sample of Firelight that was contained in the conduit for the purposes of studying its properties. "Now that we know we can use it to power our cities, we must study what else it can do and, more importantly, its risks!" I remember someone suggested we put it off until tomorrow. You know what he said?"

I didn't answer. Hopefully it was clear to him I was listening, though.

"Every hour we don't understand what we have wrought, the more likely it will blow up in our faces!"

"So this is about Dr. Burner and his behavior?"

"Celestia, no! The stallion might be good at his science, but as far as the Magic of Friendship goes, I guess some ponies are beyond hope."

"I've personally met many ponies who seemed that way who came through."

"Perhaps, but that's not why I'm here. Dr. Burner's tendencies to chase instant gratification and let his imagination run away caused a lot of friction between him and the team. Some have even quit on him. But we had an obligation to our job, regardless. So we studied the sample's properties, trying to understand it, while it pulsed and writhed in its glass prison. We watched and watched through the night, but there was nothing new that we hadn't already found in previous tests. It was hot, generating static energy when placed in glass, but could not melt or destroy it. When it generated energy, it moved around, bouncing off the walls of its cage, but never with enough force to break it."

The details fascinated me. I might not be a wolf of science beyond psychiatry, but the lifetimes of experience had shown me that it would be crucial to understand what could be a cornerstone of tremendous change.

"After a while, it seemed our time was being wasted by Dr. Burner's over-obsession. Some comment at a drunk colleague he made but I can't remember was the inciting incident."

"Which was?" It must have come from sort of leftover canine instinct, not that it hasn't been helpful at time.

"If you let me finish, I'll tell you."

"My apologies. Continue." He took a deep breath before resuming.

"My friend began angrily slurring at Dr. Burner. He looked like he could barely stand. 'You know what you're problem is, Doc? It's that youuu have that horn that you cast your magic about, see? You have stuck right up your flank, okay. You don't know when you've won, or you won't admit to it! Have a glass of cider to make it all *hiccup* go away!' He gradually lumbered over to the sample of Firelight, bouncing around oblivious to its so-called masters. He lifted the glass out. 'Better yet, why don't you go stare at it on your own time if you love it so damn much!' He motions the case like a Hoofball player and throws it at Burner."

He takes another breath. His head has some sort of involuntary spasm, but it's light, like it's muffled by willpower.

"Against my better instincts, I leaped out to catch it with my hooves instead of using magic. Firelight can't break glass, but you know what can? My horn. It shattered the case, the pure energy leaping out and absorbing into myself. I sat there, writhing in pain throughout my body, but especially my mind. I never perspired like that in my life, and I did play a lot of sports. I was terrified of dying, most of all. Some force reshaping my very self. I'm sorry, just give me..."

It was clear he was shaking something off. Presumably some kind of physical pain. Sadly, that's not something I have a lot of knowledge about, though I do my best to help with the emotional struggles.

"Needless to say, I was in bad shape. I laid down on the floor, barely able to move until medics came to take me to Canterlot, where I was analyzed and interrogated like mad. I only feel different, which is what I told them. I didn't gain any superpowers, despite the fact that my son would have loved to have a superhero as a father. Just... different. You know, Doc?"

"I know the feeling quite well. After all, I wasn't always the teacher or doctor you see today. I was once a wolf like any other. Ponykind actually altered me through spells. A whole new world that opened up to me. One in particular reformed my very being so I could stand up and walk among common sentient beings. I certainly know how I felt different."

He looks up. "Do you think Firelight is the next step in our very evolution?"

"Perhaps only time will tell, but if you are granted new powers by this Firelight, learn to use them to help ponies. At the very least, this is an opportunity for us to further understand this new power. You don't have to be a superhero to be the kind of pony your son can look up to."

"You know, I think you're onto something. Thanks, Doc!" There was a bit of string in his step as he got out of the chair.

"Of course, Dr. Manehatten. Come back any time."

"You know? I just might. I just knew when Twilight suggested you, something in my gut told me it would work. Good to know my intuition still works. Here's the check." He writes me a check for my services with an almost mechanized efficiency. "And... Done. Take care now, Doc."

"You too."

I took a deep breath as I always do. "It's good to be helping."

Just as I said that, the clock strikes 12.

Only one thing is certain: this year will be interesting.

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And that's it. I know, I'm disappointed too. I have no idea what he's referring to or what it has to do with my life or even why he supposedly picked me to transcribe all this. I suppose I'll have to wait and see. But I might need to ask them if they know anything about Firelight.

- Ray