Changeling Escapades: Skyrim

by Erised the ink-moth

Side-quests and Solidarity

Fenora woke with a start, a cold sweat soaking her clothes and matting strands of hair to her face. She took several seconds just to breathe, and try to stop her heart from beating out of her chest. She heard things in her sleep last night, things that made her toss and turn, but she couldn’t remember. The more she tried to recall them, the more they slipped away.

She shook her head. It was probably nothing.

“You’re up!”

Fenora turned to see Stross sitting at the small table in the corner of the room, giving her that smile she’d come to love.

She felt a small wave of relief when she heard his cheerful, chittering voice. For some reason she couldn’t justify, Fenora was afraid she’d wake up to find he wasn’t there anymore. It brought a hollow feeling in her gut just thinking about it.

It seemed silly to be afraid of something like that.

“Hungry?” he asked.

“Starving.”

Fenora pushed aside her earlier thoughts and focused on the assortment of food Stross had brought her.

It was funny how food worked; most of the time you don’t even realize you’re hungry until it’s in front of you. In Fenora’s case, she hadn’t eaten anything since before they set off for Ustengrav, almost a full day ago. Something she set to rectify as she devoured her eggs and toast with the fervor of a starving wolf.

It wasn’t until she went to wash it down by guzzling a flagon of milk that she noticed Stross watching her with obvious amusement.

“Uh, y-yeah. Thanks for breakfast Stross.” Fenora said, wiping her face with a napkin to hide her embarrassment.

Stross chuckled and flashed a pointy grin. “Sure thing. You’re a riot Fen.”

“Speaking of riots, what did you get up to last night Stross?” Fenora asked, wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, but deciding to play it safe. “Any people we owe money to, places we can’t go anymore?”

“Give me some credit Fen.” Stross feigned looking hurt. “It’s not like I unleashed the apocalypse last night. In fact, I think I made the world a little bit safer.”

“Oh?” Fenora raised a brow. “Do tell.”

…

It’s kinda funny how it all happened. I didn’t really plan to go anywhere when I left last night. I’ve been confused about a lot that’s happened lately, and I just wanted to get up somewhere calm and quiet to clear my head.

I started out just circling the area around the city for a while. It got pretty cold up there, but it was peaceful. The wind and clouds drifting past me as I flew, the moon casting its pale light on the ground below… I wish you had been there with me, it was nice.

I was able to think about my life back in Equestria, and how different it was. I thought about how many times I snuck into a new town with a new face, tried to find someone I could feed on… about how many times something went wrong and I had to run from the ponies I’d gotten close to, or sever our ties so they could be happy and safe.

Then I started thinking about everything I’ve done since I came to Skyrim: exploring dungeons and crypts, fighting bandits and monsters, helping save the world from dragons… meeting you. I thought about you a lot.

So when did your late-night heroing start?

When this giant beam of white light shot out of nowhere and nearly blinded me.

“AAH! Fallen’s grace, my corneas! My corneas are trying to burrow into my brain and kill me!” Stross screamed as he tried to right himself in mid-air.

“Cease thy pathetic flailing and come to me, mortal. Meridia beckons thee.”

Rubbing the spots from his eyes, Stross descended to the source of the light which now formed a radiant pillar towards the sky. He landed atop a great temple carved into base of a mountain, and poised at the very peak of it was a statue of a great winged woman casting the pillar of light towards the sky.

“There you are, foul unworldly life-drinker.” Merida said to Stross with a commanding and superior tone. “I know of your deeds. From the moment you arrived on Mundus you have harvested the souls of the living for your own nourishment, defiled that of my domain. Therefore you are obligated to offer aid in recompense.”

Stross winced at Meridia’s accusing tone, but stepped forward regardless. “S-sorry. I don’t like feeding off of others, but… it’s just what my kind have to do.” he apologized. “I’ll help if it makes things better. What do you need?”

“As indeed you shall. Look at my temple, lying in ruins. So much for the constancy of mortals, their crafts and their hearts. If they love me not, how can my love reach them?” Meridia asked rhetorically. “It is time for my splendor to return to Skyrim. But the token of my truth lies buried in the ruins of my once great temple, now tainted and blah… blah blah blah, blah blah blah-“

So, I learned Meridia likes to talk about how great she is, but eventually she got to the point. See, this ‘petty feud between us mortals’ as she calls it, has taken so many lives that the halls of the dead couldn’t hold them all, so the soldiers’ bodies were brought to her temple so they could be given their last rights and prepared for burial.

Problem was, this necromancer named Malkoran had other plans. He locked himself inside her temple, and was harvesting the souls of those dead soldiers to make himself unstoppably powerful.

…

Stross paused in the middle of the story, fingers gripping the edges of his tunic. “It was horrible Fen. There were bodies lying everywhere, and every room was filled with this wierd black fog. It was so thick I could barely breathe. But that wasn’t the worst part,” he said with a quiver in his voice.

…

Stross covered his mouth, trying to keep his breathing shallow as he quickly trekked through room after crumbling room. The smell of the fog made him retch, and he didn’t want to spend any more time in here than he needed to.

Meridia’s light shone in from above, reflecting off a network of giant glass orbs to guide the way and unlock the doors leading deeper in. It was also the only source of light in the temple, as every torch and brazier was snuffed by that deathly fog, as was every flame Stross attempted to light.

The dark proved to be hazardous as well; more than once he’d tripped over the body of a soldier, still clothed in their bloodstained armor. Imperial and Stormcloak alike were kept here for burial, but now they lay desecrated and abandoned on the cold stone.

Other than a few tripping hazards, resistance had been non-existent. That is until Stross got fairly deep inside, and he first saw them. At first they looked like nothing more than a thick patch of shadow, until they swarmed together with swords and axes and hammers. The figures were like shadows of men, silhouettes with glowing red eyes that burned brightly as they attacked each other.

Their blades rang out as steel parried steel, but passed through their spectral forms as though they were made of air. Yet they kept attacking, each futilely trying to destroy the others.

Stross slipped into his changeling vision… and what he saw horrified him.

I… I’ve seen ponies die before, Fenora. I’ve seen their souls flicker and fade away. I’ve even seen how my kind’s feeding makes them weaker while they’re alive.

But until last night, I’ve never seen a soul that had been so… mutilated. It was like looking at an animal that had been broken, skinned and gutted, but was somehow still alive.

…

“I could feel them Fenora. I could see it in them.” Stross said with a shudder, “There was no thought, no reason. There was only anger and pain. It was all they had left in them. Everything else was just… missing.”

“But you found the necromancer who was making them like that. And I’m also guessing you killed him for it, right?” Fenora asked.

“Well, not exactly.” Stross said, which made her frown. “I mean he is dead now… But...”

…

Malkoran stood at a makeshift altar deep in the Kilkreath temple, his focus on a ritual circle surrounded at the ends with soul gems. The body in the center slowly decayed as the life essence was sucked out of it. The gems started to glow with energy until there was no more to take. Then, like the others, a black smoke rose from the remains, coalescing into yet another vengeful spirit.

Suddenly the doors flew open, accompanied by panicked yell.

“Get away, get away! Too spooky five me!”

I finally found him after running past like a million of those shades. He was using some kind of staff to keep them from attacking him, which I found out through my amazing skills of perception, and quickly found a way to destroy.

“Who are- Gah! Get off me you fool!” Malkoran shouted as Stross grabbed him and shoved him towards the ghosts like a shield.

“Make them go away!” Stross cried.

“I said get off!” the necromancer roared and whacked Stross over the head with his staff.

*Snap*

“Ah..? Uh oh.” Malkoran mouthed he realized his mistake.

The shades approached on all sides. Stross could only scramble to a safe distance and watch in horror as the necromancer was brutally hacked apart by his own creations. After what Malkoran had done to them, Stross could hardly feel bad, but it didn’t make it any easier to watch.

With the ending of their master’s life, the magic keeping the shades tethered to the world of the living was undone, and they faded away, finally at peace.

"Is it over yet?" Stross asked the empty room.

…

“And then Meridia said I did such a good job, that I’d be her champion. She gave me a magic sparkly sword, and said to go out and put the living dead to rest wherever I found them!” Stross finished proudly.

“You mean Dawnbreaker.” Fenora realized. She sat back, quite impressed with her little changeling. “They say it was forged from a drop of sunlight that fell from Aetherius into Meridia’s realm. The last time anyone saw it was during the Planemeld, when the Fighters’ Guild faced off against the forces of Molag Bal! So… where is it now?”

Stross shrunk back in his seat. “Well… I had to give it to the guards at the gate before they’d let me back in the city.”

Fenora gave him a flat stare. “Meridia, Daedric Prince of life energies makes you her champion and gives you a legendary sword, and you hand it over to some random shmuck in a uniform. Way to go Stross. Gold star.” she said with a semi-sarcastic eye roll. She knew he couldn’t get back in the city with it on him, but giving up something like that for even a moment? Her father would have fainted at the thought.

“Well I sure put it to good use last night.” Stross said proudly, “Meridia had me go to like a dozen different caves and tombs to make sure all the dead people were… y’know, dead. Honestly, I had no idea there were so many necromancers in Skyrim; Princess Celestia would have a migraine from all the dark magic being used around here.”

Fenora shrugged. “Ehh… most people will do anything to be rich or famous, no matter how wrong it is. That just means whoever stops them gets paid more. You remembered to search their corpses for treasure, right?”

“I checked, but most of them just had robes and daggers on them.”

“Figures.” Fenora muttered, “Stupid wizard bandits. Someone needs to tell the criminals around here to carry better loot.”

“Tell me about it. I found more treasure on a pack of wolves that tried to eat me.”

Fenora and Stross shared a knowing glance at each other before bursting into giggles.

“Although… I did manage to find something neat during all that undead smiting.” Stross said, pulling out an ancient-looking amulet on a long piece of string. “Presenting the amulet of the Gauldur, the forgotten Archmage.”

“Who?” Fenora gave him a puzzled look.

“Uh, hang on here.” Stross started digging through a pile of books until he found the two he was looking for, one called Lost Legends, the other a battered old journal. “So. Remember back in Ivarstead when I found Narfi’s dead sister Reyda? Well there was also a dead adventurer in that cave who was looking for a piece of the Gauldur’s amulet, the same one I found when Reyda and I defeated Sigdis.

“An old elf named Daynas Valen hired three adventurers to help him search for the amulet; it’s all in this journal. While I was clearing tombs, I happened upon Daynas and the other two. Only… they were already dead.” Stross admitted sadly. “From the notes in the journal, one of them went to Saarthal up near Winterhold, and barely got out alive with his piece. They were looking for the final bit in a tomb just south of Solitude, but they got ambushed by draugr and didn’t make it.

“I was already there to slay the undead in that tomb for Meridia, so I figured I’d finish their quest for them. Daynas spent his whole life searching for this thing after all.”

Fenora picked up the cracked amulet and ran her fingers over the shallow engravings. “A lifetime of searching for this thing, huh?” She turned it over. “Why does it look like it’s held together with resin?”

“Oh. I couldn’t get the pieces to fit back together, so I fixed it with changeling spit.” Stross told her.

“Eww.” Fenora held it at arm’s length.

“The book said Gauldur got a lot of his power from his amulet, and I thought it would make a nice gift. But it must be broken- er… more than it is already, because it doesn’t seem to do anything.” Stross admitted sadly.

Fenora patted him on the shoulder anyway. “Well, maybe we can find someone that can fix it. Or we could sell it to a collector for a bunch of gold. Some people are crazy about ancient artifacts. So thanks. You do the craziest stuff when I'm not around.”

Fenora pocketed the amulet and went to finish the last bits of her toast, but noticed Stross had gone oddly quiet.

“You okay Stross?” she asked.

The heavy sigh and the look in his eyes told her that he wasn’t.

“Fenora…” his voice was barely a whisper, “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Fenora felt a knot in the back of her throat. “Tell you what?” she asked, hoping Stross was referring to something else, though the lilt in her voice betrayed what she already knew.

Stross looked at her, the betrayal evident in his eyes as he spoke those three words. “Bleak Falls Barrow.”

This wasn’t how Fenora wanted to do this. She had planned on telling him today, with nothing in the way and nothing trying to kill them. She desperately wanted to get it off her chest in fact. But Stross had taken her off guard just now. She wanted to be the one to bring it up, like getting the first strike in a battle. Now she was on the defensive, and that wasn’t her forte.

“Fenora… I killed all those people. I almost killed you! You knew what I did this whole time, and you never even bothered to mention it.”

“Stross I-“ Fenora began, but Stross interrupted her.

“It was Meridia that finally told me what happened about it. An angry goddess had to tell me the truth, instead of the one person in Skyrim I thought I could trust. She never stopped accusing me of being a soul-eating monster no matter how I tried to say I was sorry. When I tried to explain how I feed, she called me a liar and showed me what happened at the Barrow. At first I didn’t want to believe her, I thought she was trying to trick me somehow.

“...It really happened though, didn't it?”

He was asking her. For a fleeting moment Fenora thought of telling him it was all a lie. She could keep up the charade forever if it meant Stross was happy.

But that wasn't right.

“Yeah. That really happened. I wasn't there for most of it, but I saw what was left over. When I saw you like that... I thought you were gone for good.” Fenora told him. “I guess you know how you got that sword stuck in you, huh?”

Stross tried to squeeze his eyes shut before the tears started, but a few leaked out anyway. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice sounded strangled and weak.

“Stross, I’m sorry.” Fenora reached out to him, but he flinched away. “What was I supposed to say? What would have made it alright?”

Fenora already thought of several things: Those bandits were horrible thieving murderers that deserved whatever they got; Stross probably saved a lot of lives because he killed them; by eating their souls Stross became more powerful than ever, and that let him protect all of Whiterun when the first dragon attacked.

But while those seemed like perfectly valid reasons to her, she knew that Stross wouldn’t agree. For him, the 'ifs' and 'whys' didn't matter. That tale of changelings that always ate the souls of their victims came to mind, along with his adamant hate for anything so evil. It was why she’d kept his own soul-eating a secret from him, dreading his reaction if he ever learned what he did.

“I wanted to tell you.” Fenora told him sincerely, “I was going to, but it was never a good time. We were always fighting or traveling, or dealing with some kind of problem. I was afraid of what you’d do. I couldn’t risk making you depressed or… angry.”

Stross said nothing. She hoped that meant he saw her point.

“I know you’re upset, but we have some time to ourselves today. Are you going to be alright?”

“What do you think?” Stross whimpered.

Fenora frowned, then scooted out of her chair and circled around the table. “It’s not your fault you know.” she said while opening her arms to hug him.

The speed Stross stood up from his chair was startling. “How can you say that?!” he demanded. “How exactly is it not my fault?!”

“You were starving, Stross. You had to eat. That’s what your kind does, isn’t it?”

Stross’s eyes hardened. “Yeah. It’s what my kind does. It’s why everyone in Equestria is terrified of us.” He said bitterly before looking at Fenora again. This time his expression softened back to quiet remorse. “Fenora… I wanted to say goodbye.”

Fenora tensed. “What?” That hollow feeling in her gut returned. Surely he didn’t mean what she thought he meant.

“I wasn't sure at first, but now..." he shifted, unsure of how to proceed. "Please don't bother looking for me after this. I'm going to go somewhere where I can't hurt anyone.” Stross said, his voice cracking. “You can keep Dawnbreaker, and the amulet. Think of it as a parting gift, a thank-you for everything you've done-“

“No!” Fenora shook her head and grabbed him, glaring into his empty blue eyes. “You stop this stupidness right now, Stross! I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just didn't want to see you hurt, and this doesn't mean you have to leave! I promise I won't lie to you like this again!” her eyes started to tear up. "...Please don't leave."

Stross shook his head and gently removed her hands from his shoulders. “It’s not you Fenora. You did more for me than anypony I ever knew back in Equestria. You saw what I was and still gave me a chance, and that means more to me than you can ever know. But now I know that you shouldn’t have. Changelings like me don’t deserve love or trust. I’m too dangerous to be around. What happened at the Barrow happened because I was almost dead from starvation, and if it happens again-”

“It won’t.” Fenora assured him. “We’ll keep you nice and fed so you won’t ever lose yourself again.”

“Fenora I-” Stross began, but faltered. “At the rate I use magic, I couldn’t survive on just you and Lydia. And I really don’t want to eat any more souls. I don’t think I could take it. I’m either borderline useless, or a soul-eating monster.” He sighed, “You’re better off without me.”

*SMACK!*

Fenora slapped him. Hard.

“Shut. Up.” Fenora said through tears and gritted teeth. “Do you have any idea how much I need you? Did you lose count of how many times I’d have died without you?! Because I sure did!”

“F-Fenora… I might be the thing that ends up killing you.” Stross told her. “Aren’t you worried about that?”

“A little, maybe.” Fenora admitted. “Truth is I barely even think about it, and even then I don’t care. I love you Stross! Truly I do.”

Stross’s eyes went wide and he tried to speak, but Fenora pressed a finger to his lips before he could.

“Shut up and listen to me, you stupid, annoying, caring… wonderful little bug.” Fenora shuddered, “I don’t care what you did when you were out of your mind, or what your kind does to survive. I don’t care what the risks are or what I have to do to keep you around. I already sacrificed half of my soul to revive you, and even that I’m completely fine with. I love you Stross... and I don't want you to go.”

Fenora moved her finger from his mouth to cup his chin. In a swift, fluid motion she pressed her lips against his, and didn’t let him break away until her point fully sunk in.

When they finally parted, Fenora’s gaze pierced into Stross’s soul with a stubborn determination that only love could bring.

“Okay?” she asked.

Stross’s mouth quivered, and he wrapped her with both his arms and wings as tightly as he could. He burrowed his head under Fenora’s neck and felt her warmth fill him up as she returned the embrace.

“Okay…” He said and heaved a shuddering breath. “Okay.”