//------------------------------// // Chapter 12 : For the Love of Annie // Story: The Coming of Tam O' Canter and Heather Bloom O' Red Hoof to Ponyville // by De Writer //------------------------------// The weather was fine, only a few wild clouds in an otherwise clear sky. There was just enough breeze to keep the diners on Caramel Treat's outdoor dining plaza comfortable without endangering drinks or sending napkins flying across the stone pave. Coalsmoke was sharing a table with Duchess Heather Bloom. Though their talk was merry, Coalsmoke noticed a sad note to much of her friend's speech. Impulsively she reached across the table and took Heather Bloom's hoof. “What is it, Heather Bloom? These last few years you have done so much for Ponyville. Everything seems to be going so well for you, yet I hear a sadness in you.” Heather Bloom let out a sigh. “I do fear that it is naught that ye can do, Coalsmoke. Tis my Tam. I took the Keepin' o His Heart from his Annie as she lay a dyin from the stroke that she save him from. By most measure, he ha been healed o the heart's wound that her death dealt him. “Ye do know the tale o it. When we put her to the last rest, he took up his pipes an' played Annie's Lament. For three whole days and nights he played and never a note missed. Twas the greatest pipin' ever played. “When he wa done, he laid those pipes upon her stone. Never again has he played any tune at all. Tis only the broken notes o a heart still broken that he play.” She looked up, surprised. Peanut Brittle, their palomino waitress was there. So was Caramel Treat, in her werewolf form, and her mate, Fangrin, also in his. Comically, he was still wearing his chef's hat and apron. Coalsmoke smiled, “I think, Duchess, that we are all of one mind about this. Your best hope for your Tam is to go up the mountain and see Grumpy Goat. If any being in Equestria can help you to restore Tam's music, it is either Grumpy or Clarence.” Heather Bloom pulled back her hoof. “I ha heard o the evil Goat o Darkness up on the mountain. That fer a price he cast spells to the ruin o ponies. Tis say by some that the very Litch King, Laird o the Dead do haunt his cave. “How can such a being be a help to my Tam? I want him a long life and full o the music that used to dwell within him.” Caramel changed fairly slowly back to a pony. She offered, “For those who treat him with respect, he does far more than just cast spells, as you put it, for the ruin of ponies. “I changed to a pony so that you could feel my neck. Use your magic to feel deeply, as you would for treating a wound. I was in a public street and in this pony form. I was shot through the neck by a military grade crossbow bolt. Only a fast change kept me alive. Grumpy noticed the wound, even though I was in wolf form. He healed me and Coalsmoke both. She had some broken ribs and other injuries from a terrible beating.” Heather Bloom's pale green magic sank into Caramel's neck. Her eyes widened. “He ha the power that could heal such a wound as this? Why then do he nay do more? Such a goodness he could.” Caramel sat and pointed to the small group about Heather Bloom. “We are nearly all of the friends that he has in the whole world. “Clarence, the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, is another. He does not haunt Grumpy's cave. He is a welcome guest and far better behaved than most of the ponies that go to see Grumpy.” Heather Bloom sat back in surprise. “It is on a first name basis that ye are wi' the Laird o the Dead?” Coalsmoke smiled, “Yes and no both, Heather Bloom. The Litch King allows us to call him Clarence. It is not his name but it lets us all be on friendly terms.” “I do see it. A different question though ha come to me. In all that I hear, none ha spoke o why your friend Grumpy do be such an evil being as he do avow himsel' to be.” Caramel sighed. “Ponyville is mostly a really good town. We do have some really dark blots on our history, though. The Celestian Church was one. Celestia herself detested them. They taught Unicorn Superiority and called all the ponies that were not unicorns the 'lesser sorts.' Worse, they actively went after the non pony kinds. Goats, especially. “Grumpy actually came and helped me while I was building the restaurant. He stopped an attempt at arson and another attempt to murder one of the roofers working for Houser, the architect. We even gave him a job and he was a really good worker.” Peanut Brittle, the lovely palomino waitress interposed, “He found me my apartment and got his friends to fix it up really well.” Caramel took up, “He was taking Non Equine University classes by mail. He wanted to be a psychologist. That was his downfall. Celestians were illegally snooping his mail. One of his textbooks for Abnormal Psych 666 was the Necronomipony, published by Non Equine University Press. “The Celestians found out about it and spread the rumor that Grumpy was a necromancer. They got up a mob and attacked his house. The broke the house up and set fire to it. They tried to burn him alive in his house.” Fangrin took up the story. “I had an appointment to play checkers with him, so I was strolling that way in pony form. I saw the smoke and heard the mob. I heard the stones that they were throwing, too. “Grumpy had ghastly burns and was running for his life, screaming for help! I changed and Howled for Caramel! She is really fast, in wolf form. She got to the mob the same time that I did! We hit them from the sides and ran under the leaders, flipping them off their hooves. Between our howls, roars and knocking them flat, we broke the mob and made them run! “Our friend Grumpy was down, clutching the only book that he saved from that fire. Ironically, it was the Necronomipony. He refused to be taken to Ponyville General. “We later learned that the Celestians were watching it to finish killing him. “Instead, we took him to Peanut's apartment.” Peanut gave Heather Bloom a heart broken look. “I hope that I never see any other creature in Grumpy's shape. He was my friend. A mass of burns, bruises, broken bones and clinging to his book. The only thing that he managed to save from all of his years of study and hard, honest work was that one book. “We did all that we could for him. It was enough, sort of. His body healed. Scarred but whole. He read the Necronomipony obsessively. We were the only beings that he trusted. “He was in such a bad way, mentally, that we were afraid for him. He settled down to simply hating. He hated all ponies but those that he knew. At first, that was just us. Later, he added a very few others. “Caramel found him his cave, up on the mountain. We paid to have it fixed up. It took all of my waitress income and a lot of Caramel's capital to do it. Arms Sway Foundry, the military contractors, put up his iron cave front and door. “Some time after that, we don't really know when, Grumpy tried something from the Necronomipony. There was a printer's mistake in the book. He is frank about it. It was corrected in an error sheet in the back of the book. What he tried backfired on him. It killed him but left him the invisible spirit body that he now has. He can glamor spell it to look like what he wants it to. “Shortly after that, he started selling spells with publicly registered contracts and a 110% refund if they do not work. So far, none of his spells has failed. The first thing that he did with the money that he earned was pay us back.” Fangrin grinned a wolf's grin as he said, “Grumpy admits to being Evil. He is also both ethical and honest. If he says that he will try to help you, he will.” Heather Bloom looked about the group and she smiled. She lifted the last of her Sea Grass Puffs, dipped it in a sweet and sour sauce, and ate it with relish. She handed about some golden bits for tip, commenting, “Not only fer a fine meal, but fer a good bit o local lore I'd nay ither way o gettin'. “Also fer the honest advise o me. I maun speak o it to my Tam first. I may do that thing an see yer friend or not. T'will depend on wha' my Tam do say.” As she was getting ready to take her leave, Heather Bloom asked, “Coalsmoke, me friend, what is it ye do up to Grumpy's cave that ye be first name friend o the Laird o the Dead?” Coalsmoke, after paying her tab and tip, stared about carefully to be sure that she was not overheard before answering, “Grumpy has a lovely reading voice. Clarence and I listen to him read from the Daring Do books! “Speaking of which, Twilight Velvet, Daring Do's ghost writer, will be doing a signing tomorrow at Books and More. There is a new book coming out! The Secret of the Appaloosa Cave!” Heather Bloom smiled, “That must present a strange sight indeed, the three o ye, a floatin' skull wi horns and candle, a skeleton Alicorn and one o the lovliest mares in Ponyville, all sittin' together aboot an open book!” Coalsmoke grinned and nodded agreement. “We have been told so, from time to time!” They took their leave. Heather Bloom greeted her Heartkept love, Tam in the Great Hall of Red Hoof, beside the fire in the central fire place. “Tam, my dear, I ha' what may be the goodest sort o news. I may ha' found a way to the restorin' o yer piping so good as ever it was.” Tam looked up from the careful sharpening of his big dirk with its glowing brown gem in the pommel and asked, “What mair could possibly be done fer me than whatso ye ha done and are a doin'?” She gazed sadly at Tam for a few moments. “It is in all else that ye are whole, my dear, but this one thing. Yer music lies still in the Earthen Lake with the bones o yer Annie. Our friend, Coalsmoke ha' suggested that we do make a contract o Non Equine magic with Grumpeter Goat, up in his mountain cave.” That brought Tam up short. “Coalsmoke ha suggested that? I ha nay heard much good o that goat. What be the cost o such a contract? I mean nay the gold?” Heather Bloom nodded thoughtfully, “I ha made many an inquiry before I came to ye with this, my love. The goat ha good reason to hate ponies but do nay hate them all. He take only the gold. For it, he work mostly ruin, it be true. But what it is he do is by the contract that he draw and goodness indeed he can accomplish and do if that be what he is paid fer. “He mostly work forms o ruin for the reason that ponies pay fer it. He likewise will work good fer them as pay fer that.” Tam was mulling that over when their carlene, Daphne, approached. “My Lord and Lady, I have heard a part of what you were speaking of. May I speak?” Tam grinned, “Daph, yer advice is welcome always. Ye do know that.” She gave him a small bow as she replied, “Yes, I do know that. I also know that this is a very personal and private matter. I say, go to him. “I know something about him that he keeps mostly a secret. He goes to Reverend Smallflower's Assembly sometimes. I do too. That is no secret. What is a secret is this. He underwrites Reverend Smallflower's program to feed the hungry and donates money to his good works fund.” Daphne snickered as she added, “Grumpy says to keep it a secret or his reputation for Evil will be in ruins!” Tam raised his eyebrows at that. Then he turned to Heather Bloom. “Go ye to the mountain, my Heart. I shall trust ye as I have since the day o my Annie's death. Make the contract or not as ye do see it right.” He hugged Heather Bloom and kissed her. The next day Heather Bloom and Coalsmoke were climbing the trail up to Grumpy's cave. They had only passed the small spring, about half way up, where the way became largely bare stone. Coalsmoke pointed off to one side of the trail and down the hill some. “Look, Your Ladyship! We are being followed by a werebeast!” Heather Bloom, turning her head to stare, replied, “I do but see Sawnax a following us. Where then is the werecreature?” Coalsmoke grinned, showing her perfect teeth as she retorted, “He IS the werebeast! See, he has become an ASS!” Chortling, Heather Bloom replied, “Now, I do see it!” The pair continued to pick their way up to the ledge in front of Grumpy's cave. They were greeted by Grumpy, who had glamor spelled his body to look like the goat that he used to be. Coalsmoke called out cheerfully, “Hi there, Grumpy! I brought you a visitor! Lady Red Hoof wants to talk to you about something!” He replied, “Be welcome, to you both! Your Ladyship, I have not had the pleasure before this. What may I do for you? A fresh water, after a long warm climb?” Heather Bloom smiled around the large, predatory looking fangs in her mouth and replied, “Nay, Grumpy. I need physical food no more than ye. Like ye, I do enjoy it but it is of no need to me.” The goat before her nodded, accepting that she knew what she wanted, and asked, “What can I do for you, Duchess?” “Please, as a descendant and namesake of the great Grumpeter Goat, call me Heather Bloom. It is not fer me alone that I am here. My dear Tam has a need which I do hope for you to mend.” The brown, black and white piebald goat nodded, and spent a few moments contemplating his truly excellent view. He suggested, “Do come inside, Heather Bloom. I fear that your coming has drawn some unwelcome attention. I see another down the hill but not on the trail. He is trying to stay hidden.” Coalsmoke curled one lovely lip and spat, “Sawnax! I guess that he did not learn from the last time that he messed with you, Grumpy!” He agreed, “That is the best reason of all to go inside and shut him out.” They all went in through the solid iron door in the heavy iron sheeting that barred the cave from the prying eyes and worse of the world outside. Grumpy explained, “That wall and door were designed by a reputable military engineering firm to withstand a standard Equestrian military battering ram. You only need to experience having an anti goat mob burn down your house, see years of study and work sent up in the flames, be burned, beaten, and stoned nearly to death one time, to take a few sensible precautions.” Heather Bloom's yellow, snake-like eyes widened with interest when she saw the fairly enormous bracings on the inside of that iron wall and the size of the stout forged locking bars. As Grumpy finished latching the last of the bars, he turned and saw that she was not really taken aback. She was apparently taking her cue from Coalsmoke's calm acceptance. He offered Heather Bloom his easy chair and asked her, “Now, what is it that you want from me? I am sure that you know that I am an evil being. Most of what I do causes trouble or difficulties to ponies.” Heather Bloom nodded, her long horn bobbing through an arc. “I do know that. I also know that my friend Coalsmoke has a number of times used yer services to ease the passing of husbands due to die soon in great suffering. An act o mercy. “Evil ye may be, but bad only if treated badly. “Coalsmoke is not a Heart Keeper, as I am. She is not far from it, though. “What know ye of my Tam?” “Not a lot, my la … Heather Bloom. He lived in the Far Northern Dales and suffered some loss that was so great that the two of you came here to be as far from the scene as possible. “I am afraid that the Prancer's Social pages do not dwell on the past that much. What I know is from them.” “I do see and it is more that you need to know. When you have the tale of it, then perhaps, you may be able to aid us both or not. I shall take your word of it once ye know the way of it.” She settled herself comfortably in the chair, smiling at Grumpy's skull, the only part of his original body left to him, sitting on its stand, the ever burning candle between the horns presently serving as a reading light. “My Tam was married to the true love of his life, Annie. They shared a life o' happiness like few are granted. Tam was, besides bein' a good farmer, the greatest piper o' the whole of the Dales. Perhaps he was the greatest who ever lived. His music was much in demand. “It was years in the past now that there came a Failing o' the Lairds. So great the Failing that it was brought to blows to settle it. Tam and his Annie were called up to the battle, nor did they shirk the duty owed.” Heather Bloom shed a tear and swallowed hard. “I was there on a hill overlooking the field as Watcher to be sure that none did foul play in the Failing. As a Heart Keeper, I was forbidden any part o the combat itself but for the rescue o the fallen. “The cause and ending o the Failing are no longer o any importance at all. What is o importance was this. In the midst o the fray, Annie seen a lethal stroke comin' to her Tam and she took it to save him. “I am, as ye do know, a shape shifter. I took to the air and pulled Annie from the scene. Her wound wa too great to heal. We Watchers stanched the bleeding as best we might and I did give her o my store o love to sustain her, that she might see her Tam one mair time ere she passed. “We did get him to her in time that they should have a few words before the final partin'. She did lay it on Tam that he no follow her to the grave. O me, she asked that I take the Keeping o her Tam's Heart. I was free o obligation and who could say nay to such a thing? “Tam stood above his Annie's grave and played for three whole days and nights the sweetest piping ever heard in the Dales. His Annie's Lament is still thought to be the greatest piece ever played upon the pipes. “He laid his pipes upon her stone and never since has he played any tune well at all. The heart to play was left there in the grave with his Annie.” Tears running freely from her eyes, Heather Bloom gazed entreaty at Grumpy. “What I want is nay happenin'. My dear Tam is whole in all but this. Still, however he try it, no sort o sweet music be left in him. “Not fer me alone, but fer my Tam; can ye, in anywise at all, bring back that music that used to dwell within him?” Coalsmoke clearly had no doubt that either Grumpy or the Litch King could somehow sort out this difficulty for her friends. Grumpy thought deeply for a while before saying, “I know that you are friends of Coalsmoke's. She has spoken of you often. “I am was not even temporizing to have to tell you, Heather Bloom, “that this is the most unusual request that I have ever had to deal with. I will need to check my resources and speak with an associate. I am not trying to raise the price by saying that I need to consult with the Litch King on this. “Because you are not trying to cause or be the source of any harm, I am only going to charge my usual lowest base. 100 golden bits. I will not take any money until I can even say for sure that I can do it.” Coalsmoke revealed her level of trust in Heather Bloom by leaning forward ask earnestly, “Can't Clarence do something?” When Grumpy raised an eyebrow at her questioningly. She replied without contrition, “I have told her that the Litch King comes and goes freely in your cave and is a guest, not compelled. She knows that Clarence is NOT his name but that he allows us to call him that.” Eagerly, Coalsmoke pulled a book out of her beautifully embroidered saddlebag. “That reminds me! Daring Do #28 is out! Here it is! The Secret of Appaloosa Cave! I am sure that Clarence will like it! I got it autographed by Twilight Velvet herself!” Clarence instantly popped open the door to the back chamber/workroom of the cave and stuck his skeletal head around the door! “Autographed! Really? And the latest one, too! Thank you, Coalsmoke!” Turning his gaze to Heather Bloom, he said, “I apologize for intruding, Lady Heather Bloom. Where it comes to Daring Do, I am quite the fan! Would you prefer that I appear in some other guise?” Heather Bloom made the most possible points with Clarence by her answer. “Tis as near to yer home as is possible in this world. Be therefore in whatever guise is comfortable to ye. I it is am the guest here.” Clarence nodded acceptance and came on in. An Alicorn, at least the skeleton of one. His bones were all nicely bleached white. He sat near to Heather Bloom and told her. “I overheard your request of my friend, Grumpy. The contract will have to be drawn with the greatest care and Grumpy may still have to give a refund. “It will depend upon us being able to influence a party who is not in the contract at all. Influencing him is easy. Whether it will be enough to awaken Tam's music is something that I cannot be sure of. Mortals remain full of surprises to this day. “You, for instance, have surprised me on many an occasion over the ages. You keep your Heart Keeper's Oath as well as your mother, Peach Tree did, those thousands of years ago.” Heather Bloom wept a few tears and shook to suppressed sobs, even after so much time. Over three thousand years and the thought of her mother's death still hit her hard. “I dinnae know if I be any sae good as her.” Clarence, the Litch King, gently reached out a hoof and lifted her chin so that she had to stare the Lord of the Dead straight in the eye. She did not flinch from that touch or the stare. Softly but with absolute firmness, the Litch King told her. “I do know. I did not say it lightly.” Letting his hoof fall, he said gently, “We will try this thing. You may not have seen it, but I was there. I heard all three days and all three nights of Annie's Lament. “Such piping should not be lost to the world if it can be reawakened.” Heather Bloom did something that only one other living mortal has ever done. She got up, and tears of gratitude flowing freely, she embraced the Lord of the Dead. Coalsmoke, who is the other one to have done so, looked on and said, “I wish that I could have heard it. It must have been wonderful.” To her surprise, it was Clarence who answered, “It was. I was serious. It is fortunate that time flows differently for the Realms of the Dead. I can spend as much or as little of mortal time as I need for each one that I come for. It is that same flexibility that allows me to be here whenever I am wanted or needed. “Annie and I stayed for the whole of the Lament. She did get to hear it.” Still holding the mortal but undying Heather Bloom in that hug, he turned compassionate, if empty seeming, eye-sockets to her and said gently, “If you think that it will help your Tam, you may tell him that both Annie and I did stay to hear the whole of Annie's Lament.” Heather Bloom thought carefully before replying, “Considering the source, I have nay doubt at all that it is true. I may do that thing. Perhaps not. Tis how my dear Tam will take it that will rule what it is I say to him.” Coalsmoke turned to the watching goat and said, “You see, Grumpy? That sort of wisdom governs near all that she does. That is why I brought her here.” Grumpy looked up from where he was writing. He had the contract results page nearly done. He said, “I do understand that, Coalsmoke, my dear. She is also friends with both Caramel Treat and Fangrin. That alone puts Heather Bloom in a different category from the normal pony.” He turned his attention to Clarence. “What do you think for a contract term, Clarence? Refund if Tam has not got his piping back by the end of the Duchess's Starvation's Night Feast?” Clarence thought deeply and then nodded. “That will make a fair test of it, Grumpy. Let us set that as the term of the contract.” Grumpy nodded and finished his writing. Like he did with any client who has even a modicum of courtesy, he carefully led Heather Bloom through the contract, explaining it in detail. This one was not as complex as many, though it was carefully and narrowly drawn. At the end, Heather Bloom agreed, “This seems to me to be a fair thing. If this be yer evil, Grumpy, I wad be curious as to how ye got a dark reputation.” She put signature and seal to it. Grumpy laid each page on top of a several blank pages and tapped each one with a hoof of his glamored body. His Non Equine Magic flowed through each stack, producing by magical contagion, perfect copies of the page on top. He folded them together and placed each set in an envelope. One went into his files. One he gave to Heather Bloom, and the last one was for registering publicly down in the Ponyville Town Hall's Hall of Records. Heather Bloom gave Grumpy the required money. He explained, “It is a necessity of this particular form of Non Equine magic that it be paid for. That makes it popular with me but not with a lot of ponies who have to “pony up” the cash!” Heather Bloom chuckled at the jest. Grumpy was about to go open the door so that Heather Bloom and Coalsmoke could leave. Clarence signaled him back. The very powerful Alicorn magic of the Litch King eased the bolts and catches open silently. He popped the door open hard, yelling, “Surprise!” They all watched the dark form of Sawnax tumbling down the hillside and into some brush. As Coalsmoke, Her Ladyship and Grumpy prepared to go down the trail, Clarence remarked, “I seem to have missed a serious patch of poison oak and some poison ivy too when I sent that lot close to the trail off as gift. I think that Sawnax may have found it!” As we went down the trail, Coalsmoke was giggling at the memory of the discomfiting of the Celestian Church. It must have been rough following a Church whose “deity” published regular editorials and broadsides calling your church a worthless cult. Coalsmoke told Heather Bloom, “Celestia herself hated the Celestian Church and its bogus Unicorn Supremacy doctrines. Doctrines similar, about 2000 years ago, triggered the Nightmare Wars. Those were something that no sane pony or other intelligent being wants to see happen again. “Of course, the qualification about sanity let the Celestians right off the hook!” Down in Ponyville, they all went to the Town Hall and registered the contract in the Hall of Records. They then took a small break to dine at Grumpy's favorite establishment. Caramel Treat's Sweets. Besides sweets, Caramel and her mate Fangrin, serve great food and maintain a safe atmosphere for their patrons. Grumpy pointed out, “I owe them a lot, and not money. Remember that bit about the mob burning my home and near killing me? Turned to wolf form, Caramel and Fangrin drove them off and saved my life.” Heather Bloom nodded, “I do know that Caramel and Fangrin are Werewolves. Nay the mad, ravening monster sort. They do change anytime they wist, and stay themselves in the mind. They ha capitalized on it. “Tourists do come fro' all iver Equestria an other lands to eat at Caramel's an get their picture made with the truly gigantic wolves that Caramel and Fangrin be when changed.” While they were dining, Sawnax skulked out to Her Ladyship's home, the Great Hall of Red hoof. He was greeted at the gate by Tam O' Canter, carrying his great Clydehamare broadsword and a large dirk in his belt. Tam snapped, “Whatever the business be that has brought ye here, Sawnax, tis over and done! Get ye hence!” Daphne Crager, resplendent in the livery of Red Hoof, and carrying her own leaf bladed sword, as a Free Carlene of Red Hoof's Service, trotted down the paved path from the Hall. She smiled, though her eyes were glaring. “Nay, Master Tam! Let none say that the House of Red Hoof has ever failed of honor. We should hear him out. It can do little harm to listen and Sawnax cannot say that we were unjust in any way.” Tam turned his head to her and said, “Well spoken, Carlene Daphne. Though he shan't be allowed a hoof on Red Hoof land, yet he shall be free to speak. “Say yer bit, Sawnax, and begone.” Sawnax glowered at Daphne and retorted, “It is a matter requiring privacy!” Tam curled a lip in contempt. “Nay! That is denied. Speak here and with witness or not at all. No dealin' that we've had of ye has ever been honest or fair. That is why ye've nay welcome here!” Sawnax pawed the gravel of the drive with a forehoof and snarled his anger, “Your so high and mighty wife is plotting to kill you! She was just up there with the Evil Goat on the mountain in the company of the murderous mare Coalsmoke! No more proof is needed!” Tam nearly struck Sawnax with his greatsword in his rage. “Tis lies! Yes, Heather Bloom gone to the mountain with Coalsmoke! She is an honorable mare and a welcome guest to our hall, as ye are not!” Sawnax cringed back from the weapon. He gestured at developing rashes and blistering of his skin and coat. “They cast a murrain on me for trying to save you!” Daphne laughed out loud. “You should know what that is, Sawnax! You got it before, when the Celestian Church burned down! Their hedges were infested with poison oak and you ran right through it! “What it does mean is that you were not honestly on Grumpy's trail! It is clear of poison oak. Of course, the rest of the mountain is not! You were spying and failed to get any real thing. Except of course, a case of poison oak.” She paused and tilted her head thoughtfully. “If they did reach any sort of deal, the contract will be registered. Grumpy is meticulous about that. He is famous for it, in fact.” Sawnax curled his lip in contempt. “You really believe that? Those contracts are phony! They are covers for the true Evil agreements struck with the Litch King!” Daphne waggled her eyebrows in amusement. “Really? This coming from someone who follows to this day the Celestian Church teachings? The very ones that CELESTIA HERSELF says are both worthless and vile?” Sawnax lowered his head menacingly. Squinting his eyes, he growled, “That is unfair! I have a right to any belief that I wish!” “True, indeed. Yet you have no right to attack the beliefs of any other. Like, say, what Grumpy, up on the mountain believes.” “Nonsense! That GOAT is PURE EVIL!” Daphne smiled angelically. “That is EXACTLY what Celestia herself says of your worthless cult.” Tam lowered his sword and grinned suddenly at a thought that Sawnax would surely find to be evil. He said, “Whatever ye do, Sawnax, dinnae scratch at them itches! T'will only make 'em worse.” Sawnax's attention drawn to the itches and rashes, he began to scratch furiously. He was still at it when Heather Bloom and Coalsmoke arrived. Coalsmoke observed cheerfully, “You really should just ignore those itchy rashes, Sawnax! You will only make the poison oak worse!” Daphne opened the gate to let Heather Bloom and Coalsmoke in. She shut and locked it in the face of Sawnax before he could bull his way in with them. Walking up the path to the Great Hall's door and looking with deep love at her Heart-Kept Tam, Heather Bloom said, “All went well, my Love. I have sa much to tell ye.” Peanunt Brittle, the palomino waitress at Caramel Treat's Sweets was bringing Grumpy a second helping of their special big onion rings and another Clover Tops burger and they were joking about Sawnax's latest encounter with poison oak. From inside, Caramel and Fangrin, her mate, were chuckling too. Werewolves have really good hearing and they both are. They strolled out in full wolf form just as Sawnax passed by. If you did not know him, it would have been a pitiable sight. He could only get a few steps before stopping and scratching the now raw and oozing blisters from the poison oak. Face contorted to a wolf's grin, Caramel called out the cheerful advice, “You really should just ignore that poison oak, Sawnax! Scratching just makes it worse!” Peanut cheerfully called out, “Just don't think about how much it itches!” Ignoring them as best he could, the suffering Sawnax limp-scratched his way up the street toward the newly rebuilt Celestian Church. Of course, they all knew that telling him to ignore it was the surest way to keep Sawnax thinking about, and feeling, the poison oak. Grumpy gave Peanut a really good tip. After that bit with Sawnax, she deserved it more than usual. Wandering back up the trail to his cave with it's nice safe iron front and door was a nice treat too. Celestia was outdoing herself with the sunset. He sat with Clarence, the Litch King and Lord of the Dead, while the last of the glorious sunset passed slowly into night. Though the moon was not due to rise for a fair while, Luna's realm was, in its own way, as lovely as Celestia's. Finally, he asked the question that was bothering him. “How can we possibly restore Tam's piping, Clarence?” He turned his skeletal head to Grumpy and replied, “Anger. If we handle it well, we can make him so angry that his old self will burn through the sorrow that blocks him from playing the pipes.” Brow furrowed, Grumpy inquired, “Old friend who is even more devious than I, what could ever make him that angry?” His answer was one word. “Sawnax.” The rumor began to circulate that Tam was to die by the end of the Starvation Night feast at Red Hoof due to the contract. Tam himself caught some spreading it and took violent exception. “I know the Contract that ye speak o! It is the restorin' o my music or nay. Death is naywhere in it!” This was met by a pitying sneer of, “You really believe THAT? The Goat deals in death and ruin! The Murderous Mare has buried seven husbands and the Evil Goat has figured in them all!” “Tis a Lie, entire! Coalsmoke did nay meet Grumpy until her second husband. If ye bother to use Eye and Brain, rather than Flappin' tongue, ye will find that each o them husbands wa' ALREADY due t' die! They wa' part o the contract drawin' an' get from it, a good, true and carin' wife, and a choosing of way t' go what leave them dignity an fortune unplucked by either doctor's fee nor Celestian Church! “Coalsmoke is a good and honorable mare an' welcome to our hall, which the like o' Sawnax and High Priest Hortimer are nay.” It went on like that as Fall turned to Winter and Hearthwarming drew near. It was obvious to even a dullard that Tam O' Canter was in a towering rage over the rumors. Hearthwarming came and with it pageants, presents and good cheer. Also lots of assorted envy, hurt feeling and downright hate. It is one of Grumpy's busiest seasons. He was making daily contract registration runs and coin was simply falling into his hooves in mounds and piles! Among the assorted revenge seekers, Daphne Crager, Armed Free Carlene of the House of Red Hoof waited her turn out on the cold, snow blown ledge in front of Grumpy's cave. Entering, she said graciously, “A Happy Hearthwarming and Cheerful Starvation's Night to you and your friend, Grumpy. Is Clarence about? I should like him here as well to hear what it is that I have from the lips of both Heather Bloom and Tam.” Clarence stuck his bony skull in through the door to the cave's back chamber, where Grumpy did his Workings and kept a few things precious to him. He came forth, every bone of his skeleton burnished to a gleaming finish. He actually bowed to Daphne and said, “I am indeed here. What is it that has brought you, Daphne?” She formally laid her big dirk, that was a part of her Arms in Service of Red Hoof, crossways between us as a token of peace, according to the customs of the Far Northern Dales. “My Lady, Heather Bloom, Duchess Red Hoof and her Heart Kept Lord, Tam O' Canter, Baron Dran Dale, extend to you both a formal invitation to attend the Red Hoof Starvation's Night Feast.” Dropping the formality, she added eagerly, “We all want to see how it plays out that Tam gets his music back! We have heard so much of what it used to be! Please come!” They were both bemused and delighted. For some strange reason Grumpy did not get invited out often at all. Clarence, the Litch King and Lord of the Dead, is invited to dine even less than Grumpy is! They both replied, “Of course, Daphne. We will be delighted. Please tell them that we will be there!” She took her leave and Grumpy got back to making money from the hate, jealousy, greed and envy of Ponyville and the lands about. The snow was not deep on the trail as Clarence and Grumpy trotted down to Ponyville, somewhat early, really, for the Starvation's Night Feast of Red Hoof. For this day, Clarence simply appeared to be another goat, like Grumpy was before he got killed. They drew little attention as they made our way through the neatly plowed but already snow dusted streets of Ponyville. Both passed through the town and on out, past Sweet Apple Acres. They came to the gates of Red Hoof. The big stone pillars had torches flaring in iron sconces to welcome the guests. Standing by them, to add to the welcome of guests, were Daphne by the left pillar and Tam on the right. They were warming their hooves over big braziers of hot charcoal. Both were fully armed with swords and wearing light battle armor. This was the custom of Tam's homeland, the Far Northern Dales. They were armed for the defense and safety of their guests. Grumpy, surprised, pointed out to Clarence, “Look at the sheer size of the Great Hall! It must be easily two hundred feet long and near enough to seventy feet wide!” Just behind them, a most unwelcome voice brayed out, “Tam O' Canter! I am here to save you! I have brought a sword to strike down the Vile Changeling and end her thousands of years of terror! We can also slaughter the Murderous Mare!” Two pairs of powerful hooves double bucked Sawnax away from the gate. By the time that he landed in a tumble of tangled pony in the middle of the road, both Daphne and Tam had their swords out and at the ready. Before Tam, trembling with rage, could speak, Daphne did. “Sawnax, you know that we have legal papers barring you from this place! Go now and go free. If you try again to enter or bring a weapon to Red Hoof, you may spend far more than merely the holidays in the jail. Go!” The dazed pony rummaged in the wayside snow banks and retrieved an old, beat-up looking cutlass. Grumpy snickered, “Unless I miss my guess, that antique dates from the Great Southern Bay Invasion War!” Compared to Daphne's trim leaf blade or Tam's mighty Clydehamare, nearly as long a pony, it was a puny weapon indeed. His “heroic” moment ruined, Sawnax sourly walked back down the road towards Ponyville. Grumpy raised his eyebrows at the sheer skill and speed of Daphne. He told Clarence, “I have known Daphne since she was a filly, before the coming of Red Hoof to Ponyville! I would never have guessed her potential! Several guests coming up the road had seen the altercation too. It did not stop them. Red Hoof's Starvation's Night feasts were famous and this one was being catered by Caramel Treat! They all went on into the hall, where Heather Bloom herself greeted her guests. “Grumpy! Clarence! I am sa glad that ye could make it! Sorry for the scene at the gate. Sawnax is never the bearer o good things. “Soon the gate shall be shut and the feast proper will begin. We are honored to have some Rom here who are among the Royal Family! The famous Dancer, Black Lotus, a Royal Goddaughter, will be among the performers. “Fer now, help ye to the sideboard appetizers.” Grumpy's glamored ears shot up! “Caramel Treat snacks at the sideboard? You bet that we will!” Soon, as promised, the doors were closed and the guests all engaged in the orderly rampage for seating at the many tables. Clarence and Grumpy were personally escorted to the Great Head Table by Daphne, now in a white blouse and green sash decorated by the red thistle bloom, overlaid by a great sword, all crossed by a sheaf of grain, that was the emblem of Red Hoof. Her sash was secured by a big circular brooch with two glowing brown gems. Grumpy and Clarence were seated only a few places down from Mayor Mare. There was a place fully set, next to Tam, that was empty. In the seat was a set of Far Northern Dales bagpipes. This seat was known as Annie's place and was traditional at all Red Hoof gatherings. Down the table on the Duchess's side, were a black horse sized unicorn and a donkey, both in traditional Rom sashes and harness. I blinked. This was the first time in my life that I had seen the Famous Black Lotus, Rom Dancer, and the equally famous Ghost Who Guides. Both were members by adoption of the Royal Family of Equestria. Just down from them was the lovely Coalsmoke. This was shaping up to be an interesting feast in any case. The first course, along with drink, was a multi grain pudding with many fruits in it. The guests had barely begun to tuck into it when, like a bad copper bit, who should charge in, right up the center of the room, between the tables? No points if you guessed Sawnax! He was waiving his cutlass and screaming, “Death to the Changeling! Death to the Murderous Mare!” Tam cleared the head table in a single bound. His mighty Clydehamare raised for a downward angled strike. Sawnax did manage to get his cutlass in the way of the stroke but it did no good. His weapon was driven from his grasp and the huge sword's stroke to his neck drove him from his feet entirely. Seeing what was happening, Grumpy hopped across the table too. Goats are nothing, if not agile. It took only one bounce to land solidly on Sawnax's neck. Tam had used the flat of his blade rather than bring shame to their Starvation's Night by shedding blood. With Grumpy there on his neck, Sawnax could not rise. Tam could not easily strike again, either. Sawnax, however, could still squall his idiocy. He could see the empty place and went for a hit below the belt, as it were. “Annie's Place! If you played that squall-bag at her, it is no wonder that she left you!” Tam's face purpled in his rage but he very carefully put away his Clydehamare. He reached across the table and took the pipes from the seat of Annie's Place. A few quick puffs and the bag was tight. A thump started the drones to their steady complex deep tones. A moment only he spent, tuning them. He took up the chanter and began. The song was lovely, sweet and utterly desolate. The music rolled out, filling the hall. Not an eye was dry as everyone there heard Annie's Lament. Not even Sawnax could hold against it. Under Grumpy's rear, he was blubbering. Not alone, either. All about the hall, ponies were weeping for a loss that they had not suffered but could truly feel. Clarence turned to Heather Bloom and asked, “My Lady, may I go and return with another guest? She should hear this tune moreso than any other.” At the Duchess's nod, Clarence, Lord of the Dead, slowly vanished from sight. In only moments, he returned. Beside him was a mare in the same garb as Tam. It was a paradox. She seemed solid but you could see thorough her as well. Eyes running tears that did not fall to the floor, she came before Tam, as he strode back and forth with the music of long held pain roaring forth. She kissed him. Though she spoke softly, every ear in that hall heard her clearly. “Thank you, my love. This is why I took the stroke for you. I did not want this wonder of music to die from the world.” The music of the pipes changed in an instant. They sang of joy. Sang of a wounded heart healed. Sang a dancing tune. Annie sprang to the center of the room and took Sawnax's fallen blade and laid over it the ghostly form of her own blade. She began to dance, swiftly but with precision. She skipped joyously about stepping into the spaces between the blades in a Far Northern Dales Sword Dance. The blade of the fallen covered by the victor's! The dance Proclaimed that the Failing was done! Black Lotus watched the dance intently for a few moments and gracefully leaped to the floor before the tables. She picked up the steps and moved like smoke, swirling into the place opposite to Annie. Reaching across, she linked hooves and without missing any beat danced her joy with Annie's. If all were weeping their grief before, they were now weeping their happiness. The tune changed and Annie led off in a fling. It took only seconds for Black Lotus to follow. Soon others were joining in. It was the happiest madhouse ever seen. Two of Ponyville's constables, who were at the feast in their off duty time, came quietly up and efficiently manacled Sawnax. They led him away, freeing Grumpy to join in. He found himself dancing claw to hoof with a huge Everfree Ridgeback Wolf. “Hi, Caramel! Great party, isn't it?” Looking about, Grumpy saw that Clarence was dancing too. He was taking turns with the Duchess, Coalsmoke, and Annie. In a while, Tam let the music die. The guests all returned to the interrupted feast. Annie could no longer seen but when the healths were called at the end of the dining, the glass at Annie's place caught all eyes. It rose without support and a sweet but heavily accented voice called out, “To my Tam! A long life and a happy one!” The glass tipped and emptied without spilling a drop. --THE END--