Goddammit Pinkie Pie

by kits


A Typical Day in Pwnyville

One day blue horse bird was flyin' 'round in circles and stuff, when she saw that orange and pink pones were talking. "What are they dong?" She asked, angrily. "That is not watching me be 20% more awesomer." So flying pone landed next to party and apple pone and said, "What are you dong?"

"I like apples," said AppleJack.

"We're totally not throwing a 'Tie Rainbow Dash up and have makeouts' party," said Balloon Butt. "That would be creepy."

"I like apples," said Apple Jack again. It was really kinda creepy the way she liked apples so much that she should maybe marry an apple.

Speaking of creepy, Twilight Sparkle, who was late again with a letter and really, really creepy looking because her mane was poofy and messed up, popped out of nowhere and creepily said that a party of makeouts with Rainbow Dash was something she was writing in her My Little Pony fanfiction. She said this very creepily, while winking at Dash. "That is so creepy, Twilight," said the prismatic-maned, cerulean blue, fastest flier in Equestria, who was also Scootaloo's idol and a pegasus pony.

Then the butter yellow pegasus friend who was shy, fluttered over to the group. She had been pretending to be a tree by standing very still and mumbling "tree" under her breath (she said it quietly because she was very shy). "I... would... um... well... I... um...... would like a makeouts party... if that's ok......... with you..." said Flutterbutter in a very shy manner.

Then Rarity showed up and said something about fashion, but nopony paid her any attention, because she was just trying to get makeouts for herself. "I am a lady," she protested, angrily.

Then Twilight Creeple and Smile Slut jumped on Rainbow Dash. "Why did you do that?" asked Rainbow Dash, angrily. But secretly, she liked it when her friends jumped on her and started nibbling her mane and wings.

"I thought you were covered in cake icing," said Twilight.

"Stop stealing my lines!" huffed the forth-wall-breaking, pink coated, frizzy maned, pink party promoting pony, Pinkie Pie.

The sexual tension was so high at the moment that Flutterbutterstuttershy couldn't help but join the pile. "Um..." she said. "..."

Apol Jeck threw her head, tossing her mane so hard, her hair ties flew off. It was so hot, you have no idea. "I like Apples!" she cried as she dived into the pony pile.

Rainbow Dash was smiling so much from all the ponies who had piled on her and were licking and/or nibbling at various parts. She shuddered as Ampleflank licked her hoof. "I don't like it when ponies touched my hooves," she protested, angrily.

"I like apples," Applebapple whispered.

And then they all had sex.

Except Rarity.