What felt like an eternity later, he felt the conductor cautiously poking him with what felt like a stick.
“Up and at ‘em, uh… you, we’ve arrived,” the stallion announced.
Josh shifted into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes. “Thanks… for the ride…” he sleepily answered, lumbering towards the exit, where Ben was waiting and looking significantly more awake.
“You’re welcome, and… good luck,” the stallion muttered. Ignoring this, Josh stepped out into Canterlot.
The first impression he got was oh sweet lord why is it so bright out. It had transitioned from a moonlit, gorgeous night to a harshly lit day, and it took Josh a few moments of stumbling around blind before he remembered that Celestia raised the sun to its highest position every morning, and left it there for the full day. Finally, his eyes re-adjusted to the light – how did ponies just deal with that? – and surveyed his surroundings. Ben, watching him slowly re-adjust, smirked as Josh smacked into a wall.
“Come on, we gotta get you looking less dead on your feet. Let’s go have breakfast,” Ben ordered, Josh dazedly complying.
The Canterlot train station was noticeably larger and more modern than the shack Ponyville’s station operated out of. There was a booth there, with nopony stationed at it – a rather presumptuous oversight, Josh thought. The two of them ate the last of their sandwiches, making sure to leave no crumbs on the well-polished floor of the train station, and made their way for the very small, pony-sized door.
“Why is this so tiny? Surely there are non-pony passengers to Canterlot,” Josh grumbled.
“Canterlot’s snooty as all get-out, remember? Besides, there might be another train just for non-ponies, or something,” Ben pondered.
“Racists,” Josh muttered angrily, finally making it through the door and into the open air of Canterlot.
Stepping out into Canterlot proper, Josh immediately noticed the palace off to his left. It was a grand and imposing structure, exactly how it looked in the show – towering pillars of marble decked with gold and silver Arabian-esque roofing. Purple flags flew from every spire, and only a few ponies were on the streets. Josh spied several posters pertaining to the new holiday, mostly having to do with custom celebratory events that would be occurring at various times over the course of the week. It still felt so strange that he’d arrived amidst an event like this that he’d never heard of. Sure, it was a brand new holiday, but he’d been thrown off by it nonetheless. A unicorn down the street spotted the pair of them, and immediately turned up her nose.
“They’ll let anything into Canterlot these days,” Josh heard her mutter as she wandered off.
Ben chuckled, apparently amused by her prejudice, though Josh had a feeling it was going to get a whole lot less funny.
“So, you think we have something to do with these two princes? Miracle Matter and Clockwork Chronology?” Ben questioned after a moment of walking.
“Maybe we’re supposed to go on a quest to find them? I dunno,” Josh answered tiredly, still waking up.
“A quest? You mean a magical magic quest full of magic?” Ben joked, and Josh chuckled.
“Yeah… let’s just hope it doesn’t become a tragic magical magic quest full of magic,” he added, and Ben laughed in turn.
“Any ideas on where we might find them?” he asked, getting the pair of them back on topic.
“I bet the Princesses would know where they last were," Josh supposed.
Canterlot, like Ponyville, was smaller than he had been expecting. The place was still impossibly opulent and lavish, but it seemed this world was, after all, proportioned for ponies. A light wind blew through the morning streets as Ben and Josh walked towards the Palace, anxiously mulling over what they might say to the Princesses. Depending on how formal the Princesses were, a social mistake could cost them their lives or freedom – and neither of them had been educated in matters of politics.
As they turned the corner onto a new street, they were surprised to find this one busier than the last. Foals were laughing and playing with small discs shaped like the gears of Clockwork’s Cutie Mark or the swirling vortex of Miracle Matter’s Cutie Mark, and adult unicorns were relaxing off to the sides and laughing as they watched their foals play. A hula hoop was in use by one foal, but Josh noticed that it was actually two hula hoops, bisecting the user by means of a magical wormhole as one hoop levitated atop the other, and he watched in fascination, reminded of a particular video game back on Earth. The foal, apparently, was having a great time despite the 6-inch gap in between his torso and his legs, so he wasn’t worried that they might end up without a pair of hind legs. Finally, a pair of foals were sitting in front of a stand advertising balloons, blowing them up and letting them loose with wild abandon. He smiled at the sight, and walked down the street. To his surprise, ponies mostly ignored them, taking one look at their clothes and probably assuming they were partaking in the festival as well. Some even cheerfully greeted them, and he nodded back while Ben returned the greeting, pleasantly surprised. Wasn’t Canterlot supposed to be full of fancy, pompous nobles? Where were they?
They passed by the library on the way to the palace, and noticed a statue of what appeared to be Miracle Matter and Clockwork Chronology just outside. Examining it, Josh was nonplussed to find that Miracle Matter looked like a regular foal, even if he was an alicorn. He thought there was some sort of chip on the marble statue’s hind left leg, but it turned out to be a darker gray in the flawless white, looking as though it had been scratched away to a specific shape. There was a triumphant, almost arrogant smirk on the foal’s face as he posed, which Josh regarded with mild disgust. This was the character he’d created? Clockwork looked much more modest, happily smiling down at the passersby with an expression that screamed “innocent cinnamon roll, please hug and give cookies at the first opportunity.” Ben and Josh stared at the statue for a moment longer, shrugged in unison, and continued on their way.
As they strolled down the sunlit street, the smell of baked goods and fragrances permeating the air, Josh noticed a flyer stuck to a nearby street post. He walked over to examine it, Ben following after a moment.
“Oh, here are the racists. I was wondering when they would show up,” Josh remarked.
The poster depicted Celestia, looking down wisely and benevolently on a mass of ponies as Luna, Cadance and Twilight glared off to the side, extremely disgruntled about something. Prince Blueblood was visible under Celestia, drawn in a flattering light Josh was sure he didn’t possess in person.
“Citizens of Canterlot, unite together and demand an END to the ceaseless expansion of royalty,” Ben read aloud. “They’re trying to get rid of the other Princesses?”
Josh hummed in thought. “It does make a strange amount of sense,” he posited. “With all the recent additions to the list of alicorns, the status quo for the past century must be in serious danger. After all, they have to accommodate for Luna’s side of things now, not to mention the newly resurrected Crystal Empire and recently-created Castle of Friendship.”
Ben sighed angrily. “But why get rid of them? They haven’t done anything to anyone!”
Josh shrugged. “There might be some trade interests at stake, I’m not sure. Politics was never my strong suit. Still… it shouldn’t be a problem for us, so who cares?”
He resumed walking down the street, Ben reluctantly following after a moment. “I thought this place was cool,” Josh heard Ben muttering, and felt guilty about how often he’d told Ben otherwise earlier.
Coming upon the town square just in front of the palace, Ben was amused to see a square-wide square dance taking place. But before they could move past it, a nearby pony snagged him with a hoof and pulled him in, another grabbing Josh shortly afterward.
“Whoa!” Josh called out, surprised as he quickly learned the dance and began dancing along.
Every time he’d seem to escape the action, another stallion or mare pulled him in to continue. At first he was reluctant – he hadn’t danced since middle school. But eventually he warmed up to it, and soon he was chuckling as he swirled around the square, leaping and hopping in time with the band in the center. Finally, after spinning a mare around so many times she got dizzy and fell, he’d made it to the other side of the square. Apologizing to the nearby dance partners, he ducked out and quickly made his way out of the town square, an irresistible grin still present on his dazed face as he waited for Ben to finish.
Ben got out a few moments later, a dizzy grin of his own on his face as he stumbled over to Josh.
“So that happened,” Ben quipped, his afro still shaking with every bouncy step.
Josh laughed. “Next we’ll be doing an impromptu musical,” he joked.
Ben clapped a hand over his mouth. “Shush! They might hear you,” he pretended to whisper.
Josh pushed his hand off and laughed, the two of them shoving each other as they made their way up the palace steps.
A few scant minutes later, they were finally in front of the palace doors. But what would they say? Josh took a deep breath, and steeled himself, raising his hand to knock at the front door.
“Halt!” a stern voice called out, and he whipped around to find himself face-to… well, in front of a pair of Royal Day Guards. “Princess Celestia will not be receiving visitors for another ten minutes due to a delay on Her Majesty’s part,” a guard informed the two of them.
“Oh, okay. Where do we wait?” Ben asked.
The guard shrugged. “Anywhere you please, so long as it isn’t inside.”
Five awkward minutes passed by, with Josh electing to park himself right there on the steps as the pair of Guards watched, Ben remaining standing out of politeness. Finally, one spoke again.
“What are you? I’ve never seen anything like you before.”
Josh shrugged. “Aliens from outer space.”
The guard chuckled. “No, really.”
Josh looked at him, a grin on his face, and the guard’s mouth fell open as Ben nodded.
“Wha – are you here to take over Equestria?” he demanded, readying his spear.
He was quickly shoved back by the other guard, who rolled his eyes. “Sorry, he’s a real sci-fi fanatic. You’re not… actually going to take over Equestria, are you?” the second guard asked.
Ben shook his head. “Nah. Just looking to get home. We, uh… we don’t know how we got here, so we’re kind of stranded.”
There was a moment of silence, and Josh heard a sniffling sound. He looked over, and to his surprise, the two Guards had watery eyes. “Uh… are you… okay?” he asked, staring at him in concern.
“You’re stranded on our planet… away from your home… that’s so sad…” the first Guard mumbled.
Josh remained silent, nonplussed by their strangely empathetic reactions, while Ben looked concerned.
“Um. It’s… okay? I’m sure we’ll get back soon,” Ben reassured.
The Guards made a show of drying their eyes. “Right… well… where did your spaceship crash?” the first Guard asked curiously.
Josh laughed. “We don’t have a spaceship. We just got teleported here, apparently. Into… uh… the ‘Everfree Forest.’”
Both Guards’ mouths fell open. “You survived the Everfree?” the second Guard questioned.
Ben raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? There was nothing there. Not even a ‘manticore.’ I think we got lucky, or something.”
Josh almost wanted to bring up the changelings, but he felt as though that would just be bragging.
He was about to say something else, but at that point the door opened, a new pair of Guards trotting out. “Princess Celestia is now receiving visitors,” the third Guard spoke up.
Josh got to his feet, Ben moving to stand beside him. “Nice talking with you two. See you later!” Ben called.
The two Guards gave them a friendly nod, and they headed into the throne room.
It was even more imposing than Josh remembered, and yet… smaller. The stained-glass murals were about one and a half times his height, he guessed, and there was a soft sound of rushing water from the throne itself, where small waterfalls constantly flowed out from the sides into clear blue pools, which sent the water… somewhere. Atop the plushy red velvet throne sat Princess Celestia, and their eyes met for a brief moment.
She was about Josh’s height, not counting her horn, and her hair really did undulate and weave as it did in the show – though, he could see individual strands. Her golden decorations gleamed in the sunlight, and Josh could tell just by the color that they were pure gold, or at least gold-plated. The deep purple jewels on her crown and peytral had been polished rigorously, and sparkled with an inner fire that shouldn’t have been possible for amethyst.
“Welcome to my castle, newcomers. I have not seen one of your kind before. What brings you here?” she questioned politely, getting up and daintily stepping off of her throne.
Josh could only stare, slack-jawed as she approached, and though he couldn’t turn his head, he was sure Ben was openmouthed as well.
Celestia sighed. “Every time,” she muttered, before her horn lit up yellow. A sphere of water detached itself from one of the pools beside her throne, zooming forward before splashing them in the face.
“Wha – hey!” Ben cried, startled out of his trance, and Princess Celestia giggled while Josh merely flinched back.
“Sorry, but I have to put up with this every time someone from another country meets me. I’ve found that to be a most effective solution.” She lit her horn again, and the water on their faces and shirts simply evaporated, leaving them as dry as when they had walked in.
Josh stared at her, shocked. “Uh… my name’s Josh, I’m a human, and I’m… uh… not from this world. That’s Ben, and, uh, same,” he stammered, completely thrown off by her informal demeanor.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Not of this world? Do tell,” she commanded.
“We got teleported into the Everfree Forest yesterday, I have no idea how or why, and… we want to get home,” Ben mumbled, finally speaking up.
Celestia immediately adopted a sympathetic expression. “Oh dear… I’m sure I can help.” She paused a moment, staring at his shirt. “Did you say… you were teleported here… yesterday?” she asked.
Josh nodded uncertainly.
She stared at his shirt some more, eyes slowly widening. “And you have no idea who or what may have caused this…?” she asked once more.
Josh nodded again, wondering where she was going with this.
“...Do you know what time of day it was when you first appeared?” she wondered.
Ben shook his head. “Maybe close to noon? It was quite a few hours before night fell… or at least, it felt like it.”
Celestia nodded to herself. “…Excuse me a moment,” she politely replied, teleporting away in a flash of light. Josh rubbed his eyes, staring at the spot she had been standing in just a second prior and wondering what was happening.
A few moments later, Celestia teleported back in, Luna at her side.
“What do you mean, my-“ Luna trailed off, taking in the large humans in front of her.
Josh took in Luna’s appearance as well – she looked quite disheveled. Judging by the tear tracks on her eyes and her hastily applied makeup, she had not been moved by Celestia’s attempts to placate her with the festival.
“Um, hi? My name’s Josh, this is Ben,” he introduced awkwardly. Luna’s eyes narrowed, taking him in. She examined his face, staring straight into his gray-blue eyes, before traveling down. Next, she stared at his shirt, Josh noticing that she was looking at the Cutie Mark sewn onto it in particular. Finally, her eyes traveled downward to his shorts, and her breath caught in her throat as her eyes alighted on his left leg. Josh sighed, preparing to explain, but stopped short when he realized that the chemical burns from earlier were covered completely by the pant leg. So what was she looking at? He noticed his birthmark was peeking out from under the pant leg, and raised an eyebrow. Why was she concerned about it? To his surprise, she was now looking up at him nervously, eyes darting to and fro.
“Well, thou- you must be tired after your journey! And hungry! Er, let us send for a meal!” Luna hastily announced, backing away before galloping towards a nearby set of doors, slamming them behind her with her magic. Josh watched her go, only one thought making his way through his confused mind.
“What?”
Ben immediately started laughing at his reaction, and Princess Celestia watched her go as well, surprised and slightly amused.
“There is no cause for alarm, she has merely had quite a shock. She will be fine,” the solar diarch informed him. “Would you like to join us for breakfast? I have already eaten, but you must be famished.”
Josh nodded, his stomach rumbling at the thought of a decent meal. Sandwiches had been nice, but he’d remembered that he’d had little sleep and a lot of walking.
“Then follow me,” Celestia commanded, trotting towards the door Luna had vanished through and opening it gently with her yellow magic.
Josh followed her nervously, looking all around at the corridor as Ben slowly tagged along behind him. There were many portraits of Celestia and Luna, as well as a few marble busts and suits of armor placed at varying intervals.
“So… why was Princess Luna so shocked to see me?” he asked.
“In due time,” Celestia answered from in front of him, and paused a moment before looking back. “Do you… recognize her? You knew Luna’s name…”
Josh quickly realized he’d made a terrible error. “Well, I assumed that was Princess Luna, you being Celestia and you two looking similar and all, and Princess Twilight told us about you two… but, uh, no, we haven’t met to my knowledge,” he hastily covered. Celestia raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.
They entered a vast dining hall, mostly empty except for a few nobles at the other end. Luna was conversing animatedly with the head chef, who seemed frustrated for some reason. Luna’s expression brightened when she spotted Josh, however, and she rushed over.
“We – I forgot to ask. What dost – do you eat?”
Josh pondered this for a moment. “I can’t eat hay… or flowers… or grass. Apart from that, I can stomach most vegetables and fruit, grains such as wheat, legumes, tubers, sweets, dairy, and…” he trailed off.
“And?” Luna prompted after a moment, the head chef listening in.
“…Meat,” Josh reluctantly finished.
“Very well… does a plate of ‘Prench toast’ sound good to you? It is a slice of bread, which is made from wheat, dipped in eggs and sugar and heated,” Luna explained.
Josh nodded. “I’ve got something pretty similar back home. Seems like a lot of our culture is shared, strangely enough. And… uh… hmm. I thought my eating meat would get more of a reaction out of you herbivores.”
Celestia chuckled. “We’ve had to deal with plenty of foreign ambassadors before, and have little issue with magically conjuring meat of any type for them to consume. Relax, we will not judge your dietary needs,” she soothed.
Josh chuckled in embarrassment. “Thanks…” he replied. The head chef trotted off to cook his food, Celestia following him to presumably discuss their dietary needs further.
Luna gestured to a seat beside her at the head of the table, evidently intending that Josh take it.
“Oh… thank you,” he stammered, surprised that he was allowed to sit next to her.
Luna, for her part, simply nodded, a nervous smile on her face. “So… um…” Luna trailed off, clopping her hooves together a few times nervously. She looked awkwardly around. “So… do you… like… books?” she asked, with the air of one desperately trying to find something to talk about.
Josh smiled nervously. “Yeah…? Yeah. Books are great. I… I read a lot of fantasy…” he trailed off.
Luna laughed awkwardly. “That is… a very nice genre to read…” she faltered, looking anywhere but his face. Josh neglected to add that he was currently inside a fantasy tale, and instead opted to remain silent.
The silence stretched on, until Ben slammed his fist down on the table, causing the two to jump. “Okay, sick of this. Spill it: What do you know about us?” he demanded.
Luna became more nervous still, shaking in her seat as she attempted to form words, and Ben looked at Josh in concern.
Josh sighed. “Okay… seeing as you can’t bring yourself to say it, I guess I’ll have to take a guess.” At this, Luna froze entirely, but Josh ignored her body language as he prepared to say what he’d been hypothesizing ever since they landed in the Everfree.
“We’re destined to find your and Celestia’s sons, and bring them back on some sort of quest or something.”
Luna stared at him, her wide-eyed expression unreadable. Then, a small smile slowly broke out on her muzzle. A half-giggle escaped her lips, and that was the final straw: Luna burst out laughing, falling out of her chair as she gave in her mirth. After a full minute of this most unprincesslike behavior, she finally picked herself up and reseated herself.
“I do apologize, it’s just… I was not expecting that,” Luna explained, still smiling.
Josh looked at Ben in consternation – he’d been so sure of that guess. Drat.
“Anyway… er… I must go and confide in my sister. Do not fear, you are not in any sort of trouble,” Luna hastily added, once again backing out of the room. Once they were alone in the massive dining hall, Ben looked at Josh incredulously.
“Seriously?”
Josh looked away in embarrassment. “What? I thought it was a reasonable guess!”
Ben snorted. “Great. Now she thinks we’re arrogant wannabe heroes. Nice going, Josh.”
Josh crossed his arms. “Well, what do you think we’re supposed to do here?! There were clues everywhere! We discovered those cribs in the old castle, there was this whole festival about these two, we even got matching outfits!” Josh pointed out, holding out his shirt for emphasis.
“I think we’re destined to get home. Maybe, maybe we’ll become diplomatic ambassadors to our planet. That’s assuming we even decide to open up relations between our two worlds,” Ben angrily retorted.
Josh sighed. “I… I was so sure that there was some grander mystery here,” he glumly admitted. “Some puzzle that I could solve. Guess not, huh?”
Ben sighed as well, putting his fists to his chin as he too contemplated their adventure so far. “Well… Luna was pretty shocked to see you. And I think Celestia’s hiding something as well. Remember, she asked if you and Luna had met before?”
Josh nodded. “I think that was because I knew her name. Though… I feel like I had a pretty good excuse? I dunno. We’ll see.”
At that moment, Celestia and Luna returned to the dining hall, taking their seats at the head of the table.
“Hello again,” Celestia greeted. “I have been speaking with Luna, and we have agreed that we shall open a portal home for you if you so wish it. But first… may we speak with you? This may interrupt your meal.”
Josh nodded, surprised that they were going along so readily. “Sure, I can wait,” he dismissed.
Ben, however, had his doubts. “Can we stay for the meal? Those sandwiches just didn’t do it for me,” he asked.
“Of course,” Celestia answered, ringing a bell next to her plate.
Instantly, servants appeared with platters of food at the ready, and Josh’s mouth watered as one delivered a steaming-hot plate of French toast, a glass of syrup and milk to his plate. Ben received much the same, which he promptly dug into, showing a surprising lack of manners as he scarfed down his food. Celestia looked at him with a hint of worry, and Josh laughed as he noticed her expression.
“He’s normally much better with his table manners than I am, he’s just very hungry. We haven’t had a lot to eat for a few days.”
At this, the two alicorns immediately adopted sympathetic expressions, murmuring reassurances to him as they accepted this argument. Josh began to pick at his own food, unable to eat as fast as he normally would as he appreciated just how expensive his food looked. It was the kind of French toast that was best served in a five-star restaurant, costing maybe a hundred dollars just for the bread. The plate, he noticed, was gold filigree, and the silverware was most likely actual silver. All in all, this meal was probably worth more than he was.
Ben finished his meal, sitting back with a satisfied air, and turned to the Princesses.
“Thanks… like Josh said, we’ve been starving for a while now.”
Luna nodded. “Think nothing of it, we are glad to help,” she dismissed.
They had finished their own meals while Josh had been slowly picking at his, and he hurriedly finished off the rest of his plate to avoid another awkward silence. That done, Luna rang a bell of her own, and the servants immediately reappeared to whisk away the plates, leaving as suddenly and silently as they had arrived.
“Wow. I don’t think service like that still exists on our planet,” Ben commented.
“Probably in some very fancy restaurants… still. That’s impressive,” Josh agreed.
Luna smiled. “The castle staff are quite proud of their efficiency. Half the time, I wonder if they are indeed ponies and not ghosts,” she joked.
Josh and Ben both chuckled appreciatively.
“That done, would you like to join us for a walk?” Celestia asked.
“…Sure,” Josh answered after a moment. Where would they be walking to?