Just moments after stepping through the doorway to the hall of elements, the abrupt outburst from across the hall caused both Gaige and Axton to sigh to themselves, while startling everypony else that was either trotting through the hallway or standing guard. “W-who was that?” Twilight stuttered as she and Starlight looked back at the two vault hunters.
“That… would be Tiny Tina… Piece of advice… don’t do any sudden movements around her,” Gaige told them. “Just… trust me on this one… Right Axton?”
“Yeah, she can be a bit… uh odd around those she doesn’t know.”
“And those she does know?” Spike then asked, gulping a little to himself. Before either of the vault hunters could ask, they turned around at the sound of hooves and hearing an all too familiar voice once again.
“Oh my god… you guys are here too? BEST DAY EVAAAAA!!!” That was followed by the alicorn filly that Tiny Tina was tackling Axton to the ground. “I’m so glad you're here, huggabutt!!”
Axton sighed a little and chuckles at Tina’s action. “Good to see you as well Tina.”
Before either of the ponies or the dragon could react to what was going on, Tina catapulted herself towards Gaige and did the same thing. “You’re here too, girl? Woohoo!!! This is awesome! Even more awesome than that sun pony with the best badonkadonk on the entire planet!!”
That… caused all the ponies in the room to look towards them in confusion. But it had Twilight realize something. “Wait… are you talking about… Princess Celestia?”
“She called herself that, but I was like PFFFT!! Now if only this place had somepony that looked like Butt Stallion…” Just in that present moment, Rarity soon walked into the hall of elements alongside Applejack, Maya, and Krieg. “FOUND HER!!!”
“GAAH!!” Rarity didn’t even have enough time to react as Tina tackled the unicorn to the ground. Causing Gaige to sigh before hearing Spike ask Axton something.
“Should I even ask who she means by… Butt Stallion?”
“Two words: Diamond Horse.”
“Oh like in the Crystal Empire with the Crystal Ponies?” Spike then asked, causing Axton and Gaige to both be surprised by that.
“Such a thing exists?” Gaige asked… shortly before Salvador walked in with Pinkie and Fluttershy as Salvador saw Tina on the ground.
“Tina!”
“SALLY!!!”
“Did she just call Salvador… Sally?” Twilight questioned… shortly before turning around to see Princess Celestia, her sister Luna and Discord come towards them. “Oh goodness, I’m glad to see you princess.”
“I’m glad to see you too… Though, I’m surprised by a lot of the new ponies in the room…” She mentioned, motioning towards Gaige, Axton, the rest of the vault hunters… and the tiny robot that just rolled into the room. “Who-?”
“AHA!! I found you! You’re the one that turned my minions into what they are right now!!” Claptrap boasted. “What’s next? Start a conversion bureau and come to Pandora next-!!!”
“Shut UP CLAPTRAP!!!” Gaige snapped. “Don’t MAKE me let Deathtrap chase you around the entire city!”
“Oh god please don’t! That’s worse than the Rainbow maned monster that I called a midget-.” Claptrap spoke until he turned to the door. “AH! It’s her!!”
“Found you, you annoying trash can!!”
“And now Rainbow’s here… Fantastic.” Twilight groaned as she looked at everyone. “Can everyone just calm down-?” However, when the question was asking, nopony actually heard her. They were all too focused on what else was going on that what the Alicorn was trying to say went right over their heads… until…
“EVERYONE SHUT THE F**K UP!!!!!!!” The voice made everyone immediately become quiet as they all turned to Gaige… or more specifically, her ECHO. “DON’T YOU KNOW IT’S RUDE TO IGNORE SOMEONE LIKE THAT?!! SHOW HER SOME RESPECT!!!”
“Uh… Wow uh… Thanks Mr. Torgue… for that…”
“YOU ARE WELCOME!!!” Celestia herself was baffled by the loud and obnoxious voice while Luna believed that it was somepony that could be able to compare to that of the Royal Canterlot Voice. When Twilight turned around, she only had one thing to say.
“It’s a LOT to explain…”
One long ass explanation later…
“So let me get this straight… All of you are from another world called Pandora… where most of you are Vault Hunters and after talking to some… stranger about where one of these vaults would be… you ended up here.”
“You got it Shawty!” Tina replied. “Well, that’s how my homies came here, I’m not so sure what kind of buttcrap happened that had me end up here…”
“Right… Well, if that’s the case, then I believe it might be best to leave the Vault Hunters and Ms. Tina in your care for now, Twilight.” The Princess replied.
“Don’t forget about me! I’m right here minions!!”
“And Claptrot…”
“It’s CLAPTRAP!!! Respect the name RESPECT IT!!” Claptrap snapped before trying to break down into a beatbox session before Gaige mentioned something.
“Hey Axton, you know what I just realized… We still needed to show that weapons’ demonstration to Twilight.”
“Oh yeah thats right. Hey um Celestia right?” Axton spoke, catching the princesses attention.
“That is my name, yes. Is there something you would like to ask me, Mr. Axton?” The Alicorn replied, following up with a question of her own for the Commando to respond to.
“First off, please don’t call me Mister, makes me feel older than I really am. Also do you have some sort of firing range nearby that we can use?”
“There’s one by the guards quarters. Twilight knows the way since her brother was a member of the royal guard before he went with Princess Cadence to the crystal empire.” She answered her question. “You are free to use the facilities-.”
“WOOHOO!! TIME TO BLOW SOME SH*T UP!!!” Torgue yelled from Gaige’s ECHO.
“That guy just loves explosions doesn’t he?” the pegasus named Rainbow Dash asked as she trotted alongside Gaige.
“YOU KNOW IT!! MY FAVORITE COLOR IS EXPLOSIONS!!!” He yelled again, causing Gaige to roll her eyes as the group went over to the range. From there, the vault hunters prepared a demonstration for them by setting up a series of targets and some guns to go along with each target based on three factors. The gun type, the manufacturer of the weapon, and also elemental varieties as well.
“Now before we begin this gun show for everyone, does anyone have any questions?” Axton asked. Which lead to a hoof being raised by Twilight in response.
“Uh… What exactly are you going to show us first? I know that you said that these weapons are similar to Pinkie’s party cannon, but different… but I’m beginning to think you have something planned out, right?”
“Something like that…” Gaige replied. “For this, we broke it down into three categories. Weapon types, weapon variations based on the brand and lastly, elemental weapons. And yes Torgue, before you even ask, it’ll include explosive weapons.”
“THANK YOU!!”
“Now… first up, we got pistols. I’ll let Salvador have a crack at this one first.” Gaige said as she trotted out of the way. The target on the range for Salvador to hit was a glass jar that was filled up with fruit punch. Salvador drew out one of the revolver pistols he had called “The Maggie” as he took aim and pulled the trigger, causing the container to shatter and for the fluids inside to spill out onto the range.
“These guys are small, but can pack a lethal punch if you know how to use it right. However, they can’t hit targets that are very far away. That’s where our next weapon does the trick, the sniper rifle.” With that said, Zer0 then went up to the range as Salvador stepped aside. The assassin composed himself as he took up the sniper rifle named “Lyuda” as he aimed farther down range… the target in particular being a pear at the other end of the range which was way farther away than Salvador’s target.
“Why did you put a pear there?” Twilight asked Gaige.
“Because Applejack said to not shoot at any apples.” Gaige told her. Zer0 ignored the side chatter as he remained calm and focused. Pulling the trigger as the shot zoomed down range and caused the pear to explode everywhere on the range.
“Holy hay…” Applejack said to herself. Speechless by the presentation of raw power from one shot.
“Most of the time though, we can’t exactly protect ourselves with just one shot. Instead, we would need more than one. We have two options for that. The first is a SMG, or sub machine gun, and the second is an assault rifle. Maya, I’ll have you take one and I’ll take the other.”
“Sure thing.” She replied, taking up the HellFire SMG while Gaige herself took up the assault rifle that was named “Veruc” that she acquired from surviving a truxican standoff between a bandit named Mobley. Maya went first, shooting a few shots that took the piece of paper that was the target and set it… and the stack of hay she had on fire while Gaige opened fired on another glass container that was set up farther down range.
“What the-?! How the hay can that weapon set things on fire!?” Rainbow Dash blurted out, looking at the two of them.
“Certain weapons have elemental variations. But you’ll need to be patient with that one… Lastly, we have two weapons left… Rocket launchers and shotguns… Axton, wanna demonstrate your Norfleet?” Gaige asked.
“With Pleasure.” Axton then got up and trotted over to the range and got out the Norfleet. In order to use he had to sit down to use it. He then aimed at three wooden dummies. Each one with a paper sign on the front. One said “Cheapskate”, another said “Dumbass” and the last one had the words “Loot Ninja” on the front of it.
“Fire away when ready.” Gaige smirked, having a feeling that Axton was going to try something different.
Axton simply rolled his eyes as he put the launcher on his back and calmly walks up to the dummies. He then sits down in front of them and aims at the ground, getting ready to fire.
“Uh… What is he doing?” Rarity asked.
“I had a feeling he would do this… He was always one for glory anyways.” Maya sighed, looking back at the Commando. “He does have the Sham on, so he’ll be alright.”
Axton then fired away and he is soon covered in a huge purple cloud. A few seconds go by and Axton calmly walks out with a huge grin on his face. “Ah I needed that, been too long since I last blew something up. Just hate getting slagged though.” As he is walking back he has a faint purple glow to him as he sits down next to the others.
“I hear ya. Tastes like piss and nachos… and not in a good way.” Gaige sighed. “Lastly, we have shotguns. Krieg, care to do the honors?”
All that Krieg did was laugh like a maniac as he picked up the weapon that was named “Sledge’s Shotgun” and began to open fire on targets down range. “I LOOKED INTO THE HEART OF DARKNESS AND ATE IT ALL!!!” By the time he was done… his target was covered in bullet holes and gunpowder. Leaving everypony startled… but making one pony pretty impressed.
“Where can I get one of those?” Rainbow asked.
“NOT FOR SALE!!!” Krieg blurted out, startling her.
“Okay… now that we got that covered… We got two more things left to go over. But does anypony have any other questions?” Nopony responded to Gaige afterwards. “Alright, you have seen all the weapon types in action, but there's one other catch to this… Different guns have different manufacturers. For example, Salvador’s pistol was made by Jakobs, which is a weapons corporation that specializes in traditional rapid fire weapons that would make you think of something from a western movie. Axton’s and Maya’s guns were demonstrating Maliwan based elemental weapons, Zer0’s rifle was made by Vladof, my assault rifle was made by the DAHL corporation… which were the same guys that Axton served until they wanted him dead…”
“They couldn’t handle my awesomeness.”
“More like disobeying orders to get personal glory.” Maya smirked in response to the Commando’s cocky statement.
“Eh, besides if it weren’t for Sarah giving me advice, I wouldn’t be here talking with all of you.”
“Fair point,” Gaige pointed out. “Moving on… Krieg was using a Bandit crafted gun…”
“Wait, a bandit gun? How does that make sense?” Twilight asked. “I was lead under the impression that these bandits would loot and scavenge almost anything.”
“Well, there are some cases where Bandits have crafted their own weapons,” Maya responded to Twilight’s question. “They got a high ammunition count, but a lot of their other features don’t really make up for it.”
“What Maya said… That means we got two more left. First, Tediore. They’re like most other weapons, but they have an active reload system… Let me demonstrate.” With that, the Mechromancer drew out her Plasma Caster SMG and began to open fire. When the clip was empty, she threw it down range, only for another gun to appear in her hands and for the one she threw to explode like a grenade.
“Woah nelly… what just happened?” Applejack asked.
“Tediore’s active reload system allows for you to instantly have your weapon reloaded without having to fumble with ammunition clips, senorita.” Salvador replied. “Now there’s only one more left-.”
“AND THAT’S TORGUE, MOTHERF**KERS!!! OH SORRY, I GET EXCITED TOO EASILY SOMETIMES!” Mr. Torgue shouted from Gaige’s ECHO device.
“Uh… Just out of curiosity… why do we hear the… well… beeping.” Fluttershy nervously asked while Tiny Tina sat next to her.
“OH SO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F**KING TIME!!”
“And here we go…” Axton simply said, rolling his eyes in response.
“APPARENTLY, I HAVE A HABIT OF CURSING TOO MUCH! SO THE TORGUE CORPORATION SHAREHOLDERS PLACED A DIGITAL CENSOR IN MY VOICEBOX!! SO I CAN’T SAY THINGS LIKE S**T, C**K, OR P***Y F****** D**KBALLS!!! THAT’S OVER HALF MY VOCABULARY!! AND I’M JUST AS SUPER DUPER P**SED AT THAT AS I AM ABOUT F**KING LAZER GUNS!!!”
“What’s wrong about lazer guns?” Rainbow asked.
“THEY’RE MADE OF LIGHT!! WHICH DOESN’T EXPLODE!!!! AND I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SHOW IN ALL THOSE CHEESY GODDAMN SCIENCE FICTION MOVIES, LAZER GUNS F**KING SUCK!!! …… SO WHERE WERE WE BEFORE THAT?!”
“I believe that Axton was going to demonstrate one of your TORGUE weapons…” Gaige replied. “As with the name… and by what you guys already know about Mr. Torgue… TORGUE weapons fire explosive rounds. As Axton will now demonstrate.”
Axton then swapped out the Norfleet on his back for his personal shotgun, The Swordplosion. He cocks it as he pulls it out and simply asks “Ever seen a sword that explodes into smaller swords that explode?” He then fires and three swords come flying out from the barrel towards some dummies and explode on impact, and nine more swords come from the explosion and rain down on them, and explode once again.
“Oh my!! That looked super duper amazing!! That… whatever it’s called…” Pinkie cheerfully replied.
“IT’S A SWORDSPLOSION!!!!”
“Perfect! That SWORDSPLOSION was amazing!!” Pinkie replied.
“I LIKE THIS BUBBLEGUM PONY!! SHE GETS ME!!!” Mr. Torgue shouted out loud. “TINA, WHAT DO YOU THINK?”
“Hmm… that depends… does she like tea parties?” Tina asked, causing Pinkie to look at her with eager eyes.
“Did somepony say PARTY!!!!?!?!”
“Yup, she’s PERFECT!!”
“O…… kay.” Gaige commented as she looked at the last set of weapons to demonstrate. “Axton, Maya, wanna help me with this last setup for elemental weapons?”
“Sure.” Both of them replied as Maya took up a DAHL pistol that Gaige took out of her inventory named “Hornet” as the Mechromancer turned to the group.
“Now, earlier in the demonstration, you already saw two other elemental variations. Incendiary and Slag. Incendiary sets any of your targets on fire while Slag makes any other weapons that don’t apply slag on targets hurt a LOT more. The final two elements to demonstrate here are both Shock and Corrosive.” Thinking to herself for a second, Gaige set up two targets. One being a set of armor for Maya… and another one being an active shield booster. “Now, you might recall from our talk with the princesses that we use a special form of shields to protect ourselves. Well, some bandits do the same thing, so shock weapons can help take away that shield. Like so.”
That last statement was the perfect chance for Axton to demonstrate using the shock weapon that he had chosen for this. The commando nodded his head at Gaige as he pulls out the “Sand Hawk” SMG and fires at the target. When the bullets hits the target, as they fly in a bird shape and act like they are flapping their wings, and the target is soon getting electrified in a blue shock.
“Now, for Corrosive, they can poison targets… but also shred through armor like cotton candy.” That served as a cue for Maya, who aimed down the sight of the gun as it fired off a few six shot bursts as the corrosive bullets tore through the armor set. “And with it, that’s the demonstration.”
“Well… that was very… eye opening.” Twilight replied, still trying to process everything she had already seen.
“Well, we only showed a very, very tiny amount of weapons that are out there, but this was just so we can get the point across with our weapons. And before you ask, there are over eighty seven bazillion guns. And Gaige there is one more weapons corporation, even though we hate them they do have some decent weapons, Hyperion.” The commando told Twilight. Causing her eyes to twitch in response.
“E-eighty S-s-seven… B-bazillion!?!” Twilight stuttered, before passing out because of what Axton said.
“Great job Axton… Now it’s your job to carry the princess back onto the train… And for the record, besides them having good weapons, Hyperion were a bunch of jackasses.” Gaige sighed, smirking a little at the last part.
“Hey, why is it my job to do that?”
“Because you were the one that made her faint.” Spike pointed out, along with Starlight nodding her head in agreement.
“And I’m sticking with the Jury on this one Axton,” The Mechromancer told him as she began to trot out with everyone else. “Let’s go back to Ponyville and see how we can get ourselves settled in.”
“Fine.” Axton then just grumbles as he puts Twilight on his back. Just as they were about to leave the range though, they heard a faint clapping sound from behind them as they turned to see someone that was with the princesses earlier that day.
“Bravo on your demonstration, I must say… bravo-.” Before the spirit of chaos couldn’t even finish his sentence, all the vault hunters had their weapons drawn and had enough firepower to send Discord to the moon. Just as Mr. Torgue said something that woke up the alicorn that was on Axton’s back.
“IS IT JUST ME, OR DID THIS GUY SOMEHOW ALREADY BETRAY THE F**K OUT OF YOU!?!!”
“You’re damn right he did!!!” Gaige snarled, aiming her Unkempt Harold at the Draconequus.
“W-what’s going on?” Twilight stuttered
“What the hay is all this for!?” Applejack demanded.
“This son of a bitch is the reason why we got sent here in the freaking first place!!” Maya snapped back.
“You better have a very good explanation of what you are doing here right now, Because I am just itching to to shoot something alive, and you just happen to be the perfect target for my turrets.”
“Oh sure, shoot a god of chaos… How’s that going to turn out for you?” Discord questioned, snapping a talon as their weapons were magnetized and immediately stuck to the ceiling. “Besides, I don’t do things without a reason… and I wasn’t lying when I told you about a vault.”
Gaige, upon hearing this, stepped forward in front of Axton and held a hoof out. “Continue…”
“Surely all of you remember this picture right?” Discord asked, conjuring the same photograph that he had shown previously as Twilight now trotted over to where her friends were after getting off Axton’s back. “Well, this is the entrance to the vault that’s located in a very harsh environment in Equestria that is called the Badlands… However, you can’t just go up to it, say “presto” and it’ll magically open. It doesn’t work like that… But I believe that you may know what it needs.” With that, only one pony responded with just two simple words… and that pony was Zer0.
“A key.”
“Exactly… to forge the key, there are six parts you’ll need to find. Only thing though is I don’t know where they are. My only guess is that they’re in six important locations throughout Equestria.” Discord replied. “So, I brought you here because I thought you six would be… experts when it comes to cracking open a vault and in exchange, anything you do find in there would be yours to keep.” Gaige took a moment to process everything, but then sighed.
“Hmm… it sounds legit… what do you think though Applejack?” All of the vault hunters along with Claptrap and Tiny Tina turned towards the farm pony as she was scratching her chin.
“Ah’m not one for fully trusting Discord… but he is telling the truth, that’s for dang certain.” She replied.
“If that’s the case, let’s head back to Twilight’s castle and figure out what to do from there…” Maya suggested. “Who knows how long we’ll be able to fight since we’re cut off from Marcus and the others-.”
“ACTUALLY…” Mr. Torgue interjected. “I MIGHT JUST HAVE A SOLUTION TO THAT!!! GET OVER BACK TO THAT ONE TOWN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT AND I’LL SEND YOU GUYS A PRESENT!!” That had everyone looking at one another for a moment before Rainbow Dash then asked something.
“Does it involve explosions?”
“ANYTHING I DO OR SEND ALWAYS INVOLVES EXPLOSIONS!!!! THAT AND SICK ASS GUITAR SOLO’S!!!”
“Then we better get over there before that present drops in the middle of Ponyville.” The pegasus suggested as she dashed off towards the train station with everypony else following her as they got onboard the next train to Ponyville.
Everyone… except Claptrap. “WAIT MINIONS!!! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!! I DON’T WANT TO DIE AT THE HANDS OF A PRINCESS OVERLORD!!!”