With every pony that walked into the theater, Erika slouched further down in her seat, wishing that the lights would just dim already. The theater was almost half-full, far more than she found comfortable, and ponies were still streaming in and looking for seats.
Inviting Fluttershy to come and watch the first Ponyville showing of the Wizard of Oz had been a spur of the moment decision. She’d seen the movie over a dozen times already, but the thought of watching how the ponies would react had been enough for her curiosity to momentarily overwhelm her reluctance to be around crowds.
If Fluttershy hadn’t seemed so enthusiastic about coming along, Erika probably would have found an excuse to back out. Now she was stuck here, the only non-pony in a theater full of ponies.
Add to that the weird, not-very-comfortable seats, which were basically just a padded cushion for ponies to perch on with a rigid wooden back that had a large gap in the back for a tail to fit through. Erika would either have to recline against the uncomfortable back of the chair or be leaning forward for the entire duration of the film.
A quick glance to her right showed her that Fluttershy was currently hunched down in her seat, her tail curled around her and her head down so that her mane obscured her face. Seeing her pegasus friend’s own obvious nervousness helped to bring Erika out of her rapidly-developing foul mood.
“You okay?” Erika asked her in a whisper. “We can go, if you want.”
“Oh, no. I’ll be alright,” Fluttershy whispered back, unintentionally crushing her hope of leaving. “I really do want to see this. I’ve seen a few human movies, and they always were very interesting.”
Erika nodded. “Well, this one is old. Like, really old. A hundred years old, I think. So, it may be a little different than what you’ve seen before.”
“Is it scary at all?”
“Well…” Erika considered that question for a moment. The last time she’d seen it, the witch and the flying monkeys had seemed more cheesy than frightening. But it was hard to tell what a pony would be frightened of, especially when the pony in question was Fluttershy. “There were a couple of parts that scared me when I was really little. But… I don’t think you’ll be too scared. Just remember, it’s all fake.”
Fluttershy nodded and offered up a brave little smile that evaporated as a large, dirt-brown stallion took a seat next to her and began sorting through the truly impressive number of snacks that he’d brought in.
“I beg your pardon, darling,” said a cultured voice from the aisle. “Would you mind if I sat next to my friend, there?”
Leaning forward, Erika was surprised to see Rarity, another of the Element Bearers, in the aisle. The unicorn was smiling sweetly at the large brown stallion, who smiled awkwardly back. The stallion mumbled something, fumbled and almost dropped his popcorn, and moved out of his seat.
“There, now. That’s better, isn’t it dear?” Rarity said as she sat daintily in the theater seat. A small tub of popcorn was floating in the air in front of her, bathed in a light-blue glow.
Fluttershy nodded and mumbled out a greeting.
“Erin should be joining us shortly,” Rarity continued, offering the popcorn to Fluttershy, who mutely shook her head. “She’s so very excited! The first human movie to be shown in an Equestrian movie theater!”
“Erin is coming?” Erika asked. While it was great that Fluttershy looked a lot more calm now that she was seated between two friends, Erika couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy that her friend’s attention was going to be split between two more people.
Rarity leaned forward in her seat in order to see past Fluttershy and flashed a bright smile. “I’m sorry, dear. I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Rarity, fashionista extraordinaire!”
“Erika Miller. Er… Wi-Fi tech, just ordinaire. I’m a friend of Fluttershy’s.”
“Oh, yes! Fluttershy has mentioned you. It’s very nice to meet you, darling!”
“Nice to meet you, too,” Erika replied, wondering if Rarity was the type who overused endearments. Just for fun, she started a tally in her head. So far, Rarity was up to two “dears” and one “darling”.
Some conversation followed, though it was mostly Rarity talking grandly about how inspired she was by the fashions set in previous human films she’d seen, and how she was hoping she’d see something new and unique in this one. Erika said very little in reply, and Fluttershy even less, contenting herself with just the occasional murmured reply. Though, by the time Erin Olsen arrived and sat down next to Rarity, the number of “darlings” had passed the “dears” by a score of seven to six, with one “precious” bringing up the rear.
Erin was beaming around, ears swiveling on the top of her head, obviously pleased at the packed house. Erika rolled her eyes and looked away. You’d think she made the movie herself, she thought.
Erika’s anxiety went up a few more notches when a grey-coated mare sat down next to her, bumping her in the leg while climbing into the seat. The mare flashed an apologetic smile and mumbled an apology, which Erika waved off with a not-entirely-sincere smile of her own. She hunched down a little further in her seat, leaning away from the strange mare while also trying to avoid encroaching into Fluttershy’s personal space.
She’d just about managed to make herself as small as she possibly could when the lights dimmed. The ponies, much to Erika’s startled bemusement, started cheering, some even leaning forward in their seats to stomp their forehooves on the floor. They all quieted down as the MGM lion popped up on the screen in all its sepia-toned glory.
“So cute...” Fluttershy mumbled softly to herself, smiling up at the lion on the screen.
“I thought human films were in color?” a piping voice belonging to a young foal asked a couple rows behind them in a loud whisper. “I wanna see color films!”
“Shh, dear,” replied a mare’s voice.
The credits started up along with that familiar music. It lasted just long enough for the ponies to stop all their whispered conversations and settle down for the film. Instead of watching the movie, Erika started looking around in the darkness to try and gauge the ponies’ reactions. For the moment, they were all looking up with intense interest as Dorothy came running down the lane with her dog Toto. Interested and analytical murmurs started up at the first view of the Gale’s farm, with a few shocked gasps and muted conversations when a cow appeared on-screen.
Dorothy tried her best to relate the horrors of Miss Gulch, only to be scolded by her occupied aunt and uncle. Fluttershy made a little sound of distress when Auntie Em mentioned that they might end up losing some chicks due to a faulty incubator. Erika patted her gently on the shoulder and whispered, “Fake, remember?”
Fluttershy smiled back, and Erika very deliberately didn’t mention that those chicks had most likely grown up only to end up on someone’s dinner table.
Eventually, Dorothy wandered off to whine at the farmhands. Erika scowled, remembering that this was her least favorite part of the movie. Dorothy spent the whole time wandering around, griping and moaning in that whiny voice of hers to anyone who would listen. It was just so dull and annoying that, during her family’s annual viewing of the film when she was a girl, she’d always make an excuse to leave the room until it was over.
Apparently, she wasn’t the only one who thought so, because after a few minutes of pestering the farmhands with her worries, a male voice towards the back sounded out, “Leave ‘em alone! They got farm work to do!”
General chuckling started up, immediately countered by a wave of loud shushing. Erika glanced over to see Erin glaring over her shoulder in the general direction of the stallion who’d spoken up, a look of irritation and worry on her face.
Probably scared they won’t like it, Erika noted. Though, she’d never really noticed before that Dorothy really was disrupting the farmhands’ work. Auntie Em berated them for it at one point, which Erika considered unfair, since it was all Dorothy’s fault to begin with.
Shortly after that came the movie’s most famous song, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. For the most part, the audience quieted and listened raptly. The exception was a pair of pegasi a few rows back who were having a whispered conversation and tittering to each other.
It was during this song that the first appearance of an Earth horse made a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance, though only from the neck up as it stuck its head out of a stable door. Erika listened closely for any reaction, but none of the ponies seemed to notice it.
The song ended, and the ponies started to clomp their hooves in appreciation only to stop awkwardly a split-second later as Miss Gulch showed up, accompanied by her fast-paced and sinister leitmotif.
“She must be the villain,” the same foal from earlier said in yet another loud whisper. “You can tell ‘cause of the music.” His mother shushed him again.
What followed was the emotional and, at least to Erika, melodramatic confrontation where Miss Gulch took Toto away from Dorothy. The ponies booed as Miss Gulch rode off, only to start cheering a moment later when Toto made his escape from the nasty old lady’s basket.
The movie continued on its familiar course. Dorothy ran away only to immediately meet up with the conveniently close-by Professor Marvel, and of course she immediately went into the complete stranger’s rather questionable traveling wagon. Erika had to shake her head at that and marvel at what a different time it must have been. Dorothy probably would have cheerfully gotten into a van with “Free Candy” written on the side.
Professor Marvel shoveled his load of nonsense to get Dorothy to go back home, and the girl ran off just as the weather picked up. And then the old con man started talking to the horse that pulled his wagon, and this time the Equestrian crowd couldn’t help but notice the animal. The initial reaction was a shocked gasp followed by some confused and uncomfortable muttering amongst the ponies. That only lasted for a few seconds before it was drowned out by the sudden, terrified wailing of a very small pony—colt or filly, Erika couldn’t tell—who was quickly taken out of the theater by its mother. The whole while, the poor foal was crying and repeating “Big scary! Big scary!” over and over.
It was something Erika hadn’t considered, though it made sense that the Earth horse would look wholly alien to the Equestrians. She looked over to see Fluttershy, Rarity and Erin all looking towards the mother and her frightened child with sympathetic glances, though Erin’s also seemed to be riddled with guilt. Erika shrugged and went back to watching the film. Or, rather, watching the audience as they watched the film.
The scene switched back to the farm, where a twister was menacing the people and animals. There was another collective gasp from the audience as three horses were freed from the stable and galloped across the screen, though the reaction wasn’t as strong this time. And, fortunately, no further foals had to be escorted from the theater.
The tension in the theater was palpable as Dorothy tried in vain to get into the storm cellar before giving up and retreating into the house. Shortly after that, she was knocked unconscious when her windows blew in out of their frame. There was a gasp from the audience, broken when a pegasus, voice bright, stated “And that’s why you have to pay your weather team!”
That brought up another general chuckle from the audience, which fit in perfectly with the next minute or so as various nonsensical items and people went past the bedroom window, including a mooing cow and pair of men in a rowboat who tipped their hats to Dorothy. And then Miss Gulch showed up, causing the audience to promptly start booing her again, which intensified as she turned into the Wicked Witch.
And then the house landed with a thud and it was time for Dorothy to take her first step into the magical land of Oz.
Erika had been anticipating this moment, and the audience’s reaction didn’t disappoint. The sudden onset of color, so bright and oversaturated that it looked surreal, caused yet another collective gasp, accompanied by appreciative “ooh’s” and “ahh’s”, as if the ponies were watching a fireworks show. More appreciative murmurs from the crowd followed as the camera panned slowly around the Munchkin village.
There wasn’t much reaction that Erika could detect from the ponies during the next few minutes, all of them staring entranced at the screen as Dorothy walked around and Glinda the Good Witch bubbled her way to the earth. The pony reaction to the Munchkins themselves seemed to be mostly polite confusion.
That is, until the Munchkin’s pony-driven carriage came around, which prompted nervous laughter and more muttering, with an accompanying uneasy look around the theater from Erin.
The Munchkins marched around, singing about how happy they were that the witch was dead, prompting Fluttershy to lean over and whisper in Erika’s ear. “They’re very obsessed with death, aren’t they?”
Erika snickered and nodded.
Unfortunately, no “The Wicked Witch is Dead” party can last for long without being crashed by a different wicked witch. With an explosion of red smoke that sent the Munchkins fleeing, the Wicked Witch of the West popped up in all her green-skinned, cackling glory. After threatening everyone in sight, especially Dorothy for “stealing” her sister’s ruby slippers, she vanished in another plume of red smoke, this time accompanied by a jet of flame.
Thus it was that Dorothy, accompanied by yet another song, set off along the yellow brick road in order to find the Wizard. Erika glanced around to see the occasional head bobbing or hoof tapping along to the song. When Dorothy started her skipping dance down the road, a pony somewhere behind her muttered, “How can anything with two legs dance like that without tipping over?”
The movie just got weirder from then on. Erika, already wearingly familiar with the events on-screen, mostly tuned it out as she watched the ponies reacting.
The Scarecrow was a big hit with the ponies, who broke down laughing at his assertion that he didn’t have a brain, and his statement that “Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don’t they?”
They laughed even more after he was let down off of his pole and began stumbling around. Erika had to admit, the actor was pretty talented at dancing around while looking like a complete clutz. The pair of them went off to see the Wizard, dancing and singing the whole way.
The ponies seemed to be in even better cheer when the talking, evil apple trees attacked Dorothy and the Scarecrow, though another mother had to escort their obviously freaked-out foal out of the theater at this point.
“I wonder how Applejack would feel if her trees could talk?” Rarity whispered to Fluttershy, loudly enough for Erika to hear. Her pegasus friend giggled softly, bringing a hoof up to her muzzle to try and mute the noise.
They met up with the Tin Woodsman, applied some oil to his rusted-up joints and were treated to yet another song and dance routine. After briefly being threatened by the Wicked Witch—bringing more booing from the audience—the three of them made their way along the Yellow Brick Road. Once again, a song accompanied them along the way.
The gang made their way into a dark and scary forest, only to be menaced by the Lion, who proved to be quite cowardly after all when Dorothy slapped him in the face. The sudden transition from blustering bully to bawling crybaby caused still more laughter in the theater. Now a quartet plus one dog, the party went traipsing along. Accompanied, of course, by still more singing.
Erika suddenly realised that she didn’t much care for musicals.
The scene transitioned to the Wicked Witch, who cast her bizarre knockout spell. The Lion and Dorothy passed out in a field of poppies only to be “rescued” a moment later when the “Good Witch” made it snow out of season, no doubt causing massive amounts of radical climate change and endangering crops all over Oz. It was a scene that had always confused Erika. It was a short, pointless little tidbit that made the Wicked Witch seem incompetent rather than menacing.
When the gang finally made it to Oz, the color-changing horse drew still more murmured commentary from the audience of ponies.
“I wish I could change my coat color whenever I wanted to,” a mare behind Erika said.
More antics from the Wicked Witch followed, skywriting out her demands to Surrender Dorothy. And, through it all, the ponies were all fixated on the screen. Their attention remained riveted even when the Lion started up a painfully unnecessary song about being the king of the forest. Though, there was a funny part during the song where the Lion demanded to know “What makes the dawn come up like thunder?!” and a few ponies in the audience shouted back “Celestia!”, to the general amusement of the crowd.
Some more antics ensued, followed by the group finally standing in the room with the Wizard of Oz. Or, at least a giant floating head who proclaimed, “I am Oz, the Great and Powerful!”
For some reason, that brought about some loud, genuine laughter from most of the ponies. Rarity leaned over to Fluttershy and repeated “Great and powerful” in a whisper, which caused the pegasus to unsuccessfully smother another giggle under a forehoof. Erika exchanged a nonplussed look with Erin, then shrugged and went back to watching the audience.
There were some more theatrics and bluster from the Wizard, which resulted in more boos from the pony audience. This was followed shortly thereafter by what Erika remembered as her favorite part from her childhood: the flying monkey scene.
Even a century later, that scene managed to convey a much higher level of menace than the rest of the film had managed so far—even though it looked incredibly cheesy to Erika these days, the ponies were completely enraptured. And, sadly, a couple more crying foals had to be taken out of the theater. Erika noted Erin sinking down into her seat, shame-faced.
Fluttershy seemed to be handling it well, though. She had both hooves up to cover her eyes, but had left a gap wide enough to peek through.
When the Wicked Witch threatened Dorothy in her castle, there were some sympathetic sniffles from some members of the audience, mostly from the colts and fillies. Soft murmurs sounded as parents tried to comfort scared children, which only intensified as the Tinman, Scarecrow and Lion broke into the castle to rescue Dorothy.
With Dorothy rescued from her prison, the four friends (and one dog) were chased through the castle, only to be cornered by the Witch and her guards. The Witch, in a fine display of melodramatic sadism, set the Scarecrow on fire, and Dorothy threw a bucket of water on him… accidentally hitting the Witch.
Who, in one of the greatest mysteries of cinematic history, immediately started melting.
“You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?”
There was a long silence in the theater, broken after a few seconds as a stallion’s incredulous voice shouted “What the hay?!” The audience burst out laughing. Three seats over from Erika, Erin groaned, hid her face behind a hoof, and sunk down in her chair. Rarity patted her comfortingly on the shoulder.
When the friends returned to the Wizard only to be rebuffed and put off, the ponies all booed again, only to break out in laughter when the Wizard’s scam was revealed. Erika caught a few more snickering repeats of “great and powerful” from around the theater, and resolved to get the full story from Fluttershy at some point.
The Wizard gave out his gifts and then completely failed to return Dorothy home, instead floating off in his balloon by himself. The movie wrapped up with the Deus Ex Machina that Erika hated so much: Glinda the Good Witch soap-bubbled her way into town and revealed that Dorothy could have gotten home at any time, but that she wouldn’t have believed it before now—which had always seemed like a dirty, underhanded trick to pull, and which Dorothy took surprisingly well considering all that she’d been through.
Dorothy ended up waking in her own bed, revealing that everything was all a dream, which was a happy enough ending. Except, of course, that there was nothing stopping Miss Gulch coming back and trying to take Toto again.
The movie ended, and the ponies all started cheering and stomping their hooves, which—much to Erika’s surprise—went on for nearly a minute. Erin was looking around with a disbelieving smile creeping over her face, apparently surprised that the ponies liked it as much as they seemed to.
“How’d you like it?” Erika asked Fluttershy.
“Oh, it was lovely,” Fluttershy replied softly. “It wasn’t really scary at all, except for once or twice. Though, I do feel bad that it seemed to be too much for a few of the younger colts and fillies.”
Erika was about to answer when Rarity suddenly shouted, “Sweetie Belle! What are you doing here, young lady?”
The filly in question was a shame-faced little white unicorn with a two-toned mane, flanked by a similarly tiny orange pegasus and light yellow earth pony.
“Uh…” the filly replied, shrinking back in an apparent attempt to hide behind herself.
“Gotta go!” the pegasus filly said, making a dash for the door.
“Me too!” the earth pony added quickly. “Good luck, Sweetie!”
The two of them were gone in a flash, leaving Sweetie hunkered down and flushing a bright pink through her white coat while receiving a scolding from her older sister. From what Erika could pick up during the scolding, the main reason why Rarity had even gone to see the movie in the first place was to make sure that it was suitable for her little sister.
Erika made for the exit, glad to leave that drama behind. Fluttershy trailed behind, along with Erin.
“Well, that seemed to go well!” Erin exclaimed once they were clear of the exit. She was grinning broadly, her eyes twinkling as she watched the ponies walking out of the theater. “I wasn’t sure if they’d like it or not.”
“Oh, it was a lovely movie,” Fluttershy said. “So much less scary than some of the others I’ve seen. I liked it very much!”
Erika shrugged. Her own opinion of the film seemed out of place amidst the generally positive atmosphere. “It’s a classic for a reason, I guess.”
They stood around in awkward silence for a few seconds until Rarity came out, a chastened Sweetie Belle in tow. “Now, you head home right this minute, young lady,” the unicorn said, voice sharp and commanding. “I’ll be along shortly to let Mother and Father know that my evaluation of the film is no longer needed. I suggest you be the one to tell them first.”
“Yes, Rarity,” Sweetie Belle mumbled, head hanging low.
It made for a pathetic sight, and it must have tugged at Rarity’s heartstrings, because her expression immediately softened. She leaned down and kissed her little sister on the forehead. “For what it’s worth, while I’m disappointed, I doubt you’ll get into too much trouble. Run along, now, Sweetie.”
“Yes, Rarity.” Sweetie slumped off, the picture of abject misery… for about ten seconds. Her two filly friends popped up out of nowhere and all three of them started jabbering excitedly for a few seconds before scampering off while singing “Ding dong, the witch is dead!” at the top of their lungs.
Rarity sighed and shook her head. “I swear, that filly…” Her face brightened up as she turned to address the rest of the little group. “Say, I don’t suppose the three of you would like to head out, perhaps get a bite of something to eat?”
Erika’s eyes widened at the thought of more social interaction. She was already tired, and the thought of what was sure to be an awkward dinner conversation filled her with a sense of dread. Fluttershy saved her, though, shaking her head and offering up an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I promised Erika she could come over and play with some of the animals at my house.” Whatever relief Erika had felt at the rescue was neatly lanced when Fluttershy added, “She’s leaving tomorrow, after all, and we may not see each other again for a while.”
Well,that brought my mood back down, Erika thought sourly.
Rarity nodded graciously. “Of course. Erin, how about you?”
“Oh, sure. I could eat.”
The two groups said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. The trip to Fluttershy’s cottage was made in near-total silence. Not the awkward kind of silence, but the comfortable kind where both people had nothing much to say and felt no need to try and invent a conversation out of thin air.
All in all, Erika decided, this wasn't a bad way to end her last full day in Ponyville.