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// Cold as Ice 
// Story: Putting the Fun in Dysfunctional 
// by Nova Quill 
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Beds are a glorious thing, especially during winter. The elements can bluster and groan and wail all they bloody want, but it means precisely bugger all to the person wrapped snuggly in a blanket on a soft, comfy bed. Adagio had no plans to leave hers and fully intended to ignore the world until the next day when she and her sisters were to get on a plane to Fiji, where she could happily bake in the hot sun and drink rum and tequila until she had to be poured into her bed at the hotel. Until then, she was a blanket burrito filled with barely suppressed disdain. Unfortunately for the blonde leader, there was one teensy, weensy, bit-ever-so-crucial, little, tiny detail that wanted her out of her warm cocoon.

Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, she was an expert at ignoring nuisances. Problem is, Sonata was nearly impossible to ignore. Especially when excited.

“Come on ‘Dagi! Get up! I wanna build a snowman, there’s fresh snow on the ground.” Sonata was jumping from the bed, to the small couch in the corner, and back again like a Jack Russel Terrier pumped full of methamphetamine. Adagio gave it another three passes before she slipped and went head first into the dresser or something. 

“Sonata, I swear to the depths if you do not fuck off and let me stay in my warm bed I will rip off your head and shit down your neck,” Snarled the disdain burrito while curling into a tighter ball to better block out her roommate. “I hate the cold. Get Aria to help you, she’s better at that artsy crap anyway.” 

Sonata responded to these statements by blowing a raspberry and rolling her eyes. Problem with doing something like that mid-jump is she very nearly bit her tongue off doing so, but getting her point across was more important than minor details. She settled for sitting down cross-legged by Adagio’s hip. It was easier to poke her this way anyhow. Her face spread slowly into a Cheshire grin at an idea. “Seriously, you usually swim like, every day. You haven’t gone outside since the first snowfall, and that was weeks ago. You’re gonna get ~fat~.” The last sentence ended in a lilting tone that, were Adagio not a fellow siren, probably would have incited a riot. As it was, it merely poked the tiger. With a taser. 

“Excuse me?!” Poking her head out of the blanket at a roar, Adagio snarled and attempted to strangle her youngest sibling. Part of the problem with still being entangled in the blanket however, was the ferocity of her lunge mostly warped into going for a tumble off her own bed. “Go outside, Sonata, if you are still in my room before I disengage from this blanket and get dressed, I am going to hurt you.” The voice may have been muffled by the carpet she was face first in, but the intent was anything but. 

“So you’re gonna go outside?” Sonata’s peppy tone was utterly oblivious to the quiet menace emanating from her compatriot. 

“If only to shove you in a snow bank, yes.” Hissed Adagio. 

The youngest sibling gave out a happy squeal and skipped out of the room whistling a jaunty tune. “See you outside ‘Dagi! Really, it’s a gorgeous day out, it’ll do you good.”

Adagio seriously considered letting Sonata stay outside, in the cold, waiting for her to come out. But, she would never hear an end to the whining if she left the blue haired puppy frolic alone. Well, that and it was a miracle that there wasn’t a fire started already, the eldest siren didn’t want to push her luck. Last winter, Sonata had "found a huuuge blue box stuffed full of a bunch of paper and other kindling at the end of the road." It was promptly turned into a fire pit. The police and postal service were furious. Fortunately, they had no evidence to implicate them. Well, not for long anyway. 






  (╯°□°）╯彡┻━┻   







“Ugh, Sonata this is the fourth stupid snowman we’ve built since Adagio dragged me out to suffer with her. How many more of these do you want?” It takes real talent to be effectively snarky while wrapped in a bright pink, fluffy scarf that made her look like she had skinned a particularly effervescent rabbit, but Aria was pulling it off with surprising aplomb. And anger. Mostly anger. The mid-morning sun was bouncing off the snow, and the glare was giving her a killer headache. 

“We need an army.” Came the utterly serious reply. Sonata’s blue ponytail was poking out of a hole that she had cut into her toque, and was whipping around fervently as she somehow managed to dance while pushing around a snowball slightly smaller in diameter than her entire body. 

Adagio gave the blue haired siren a sideways glance chocked full of disbelief. “Why on Earth would we need an army of snowmen?”

“To battle the snow sharks!” Sonata’s peppy reply was partially drowned out by Aria’s responding groan of disgust. The ensuing argument was ignored by the eldest siren when her phone started going off in her pocket, a quick glance confirmed that the number was from the airline service they were flying out with the next day, and Adagio didn’t want to risk the chance of delays. Fiji was calling to her with promises of muscled men, surfing and all of the alcohol she could drink. 

The blonde siren’s already dour mood took a plummet toward apoplectic when she found out that the airline had overbooked and were trying to convince some people to take the next flight out two days later at a highly reduced fee. Adagio was having none of that, but what should have been a short, ‘proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance guys, get your shit together.’ Turned into a forty-five minute dredge where they tried to convince her and her sisters to give up their seats for someone else. Evidently, the only reason she was called at all was because everyone else on their list had already declined and were working their way through the last remaining seats on the plane. By the time the poor worker finally gave up, Adagio was ready to commit murder, she had just hit the ‘end call’ button with more force than was strictly necessary when a snowball roughly the size of her torso was slammed onto her head and sent her face first into the cold, snow packed ground with Sonata’s gleeful cackling ringing in her ears. 

Apparently there was going to be a free seat. She would have to let that attendant know, because she was going to murder her sibling. Springing to her feet with surprising dexterity, Adagio lunged at her suddenly terrified blue-haired compatriot with a ferocity that would make a wolverine say ‘not worth the effort man, I’m out.’






  （╬ಠ益ಠ)   





Timely Manner was tired. It had been a long day at the office, and the moment he had stepped in the door of his house, his wife had handed him the leash of their exuberant dog with the quip, “Well, you’re already dressed for the cold, and Balthazaar needs to go out.” So he set out once again into the cold winter night with the pup happily bouncing at his heels.

Perhaps a half hour later, Timely was completely numb from the cold, and was just thinking about turning around when he noticed … were those legs? Why were they sticking out of a giant snowman? 

Deciding to ask questions later, Timely tied his dog off at the nearby fence, and did his best to unearth the poor soul from their snowy prison, fully intending to question them about how such a thing happened and whether they needed medical attention. 

“AIR! SWEET AIR!” Screamed a recently unearthed Sonata. She was looking a little bit more blue than normal. Timely wasn’t sure if it was due to asphyxiation or hypothermia. Either way it couldn’t be good news. 

“Oh, it’s you, I don’t know why I expected anyone else. Well, have a nice evening miss, I hope you and your frightening sisters have a happy holidays.” Deciding to eschew his previous questions lest he get tricked into committing a felony, Timely babbled his quick farewell to the still gasping Sonata, untied his dog and started to make his way back home at a brisk pace. He had to remind himself twice not to run before he turned the corner. Never run. It attracts their attention. Timely made a quick mental note to ask his wife if there was any chance that they could get the neighbours together to start up a Homeowners Association. Surely having those three had to bring down the property value of the neighbourhood.