//------------------------------//
// Viva Las Pegasus 
// Story: A Dream 
// by totallynotabrony 
//------------------------------//

	The group met up in the back room of the pub.  Everyone who had a connection to Coloratura’s midnight attacks came.
“So it was actually a killer robot who looks like Twilight that was sneaking into my bedroom this whole time?” said Coloratura.
“Well, ‘looks like me’ in the sense that when the robot was in perfect condition it did, but now the exterior covering is mostly faded and torn away and the internals are somewhat corroded,” said Twilight.
“It has some extra stuff that it didn’t used to have,” Cordoba pointed out.  “Like those claws attached to its hooves.”
“You don’t think it’s upgrading itself?” said Trixie.
Twilight shuddered.  “It has some kind of awareness, then.  But what does it want?”
“Well, it was doing experiments to interface electronics with a living body,” said Braeburn.  “What if it was trying to reverse that?”
“You mean graft a piece of meat into a robot?” said Applejack.  “But for what purpose?”
“You speak machine, right?” said Cordoba, addressing a speaker in the middle of the table.
“I mean, I guess if you could capture the robot I might be able to take a look at the software,” said Merry’s voice from the speaker.  “Though I hope that wasn’t its plan after all in a bid to inject malicious code into my systems.”
“Good point,” said Cordoba.  “In that case, who cares what it’s after, we’ll just kill it.”
“In the meantime, we need to do something to keep Coloratura safe,” said Applejack.
“I was planning to perform at a special concert in Las Pegasus soon,” Coloratura said.
They all paused to consider that.
“I could definitely go back there,” said Spike.  “The sights, the sounds, the debauchery.”
Twilight gave him a look, but Pinkie interupted, “The parties, the endless buffets!”
“The gambling,” said Cracker.
“The cheering crowds easily swayed to an opinion!” said Columbia.
“I need to go there to look for clues about the whereabouts of the Amulet of Culiacan,” said Daring.
“A vacation would be nice,” said Rarity.
Twilight sighed.  “So, Las Pegasus vacation?”
After they were all packed, Merry shuttled them west to Las Pegasus.  She was built for cargo, but such a crowd and their luggage almost filled her compartment.  The girls and Spike, Guinness, Skyla, Coloratura, Braeburn, Trixie, Daring, Cordoba, and Cracker.
The load didn’t bother Merry, of course.  She was literally built for it.  She still couldn’t help but comment.  “What did you put in your suitcase, metal?”
Cordoba gave her a look.  “Perhaps.”
Merry mentally chastised herself.  She should have known not to ask, because she should have suspected what it really was.
Strangely enough, there was a helipad waiting for them atop a large hotel in Las Pegasus.  Merry set down and everyone began to disembark.
A stallion with a pompadour came out of the building.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you all, the Elements of Harmony and associates.  I’m Gladmane and I run this here resort.  Thank you for coming.  Thank you very much.”
“You know who we are?” said Twilight.
“That’s suspiciously good intelligence,” muttered Cordboa.
“I’m what you might call a friendship connoisseur, so naturally I’m familiar with the greatest friends in Equestria,” said Gladmane.  “And I wanted to do anything I could to prepare for your arrival.  That goes for you too, Countess.”
“Just Coloratura is fine.”
Gladmane nodded.  “Well, I’ll let you get settled in and explore.  Just look me up if you need anything at all.”
“Sounds good to me,” said Spike.  He headed for the buffet.
“Wait up!” called Cracker.
“Fluttershy and I are going to the craps tables!” said Pinkie.  She pulled Fluttershy along.
“Gambling sounds good,” said Rainbow.  Guinness, carrying Skyla, rushed after her to prevent a personal finance tragedy.
Daring said, “I’m convinced that somepony’s been moving the Amulet of Culiacan around.  It might be here somewhere.”  She and Trixie headed out to look for clues.
“I’m going to have the biggest political rally anybody’s ever seen,” said Columbia.  “We’ll make our own country with blackjack and hookers.”
Cordoba said, “I’m going to break into the security center and figure out where Gladmane’s getting his information.”  Except she said it to herself, because Twilight certainly wouldn’t approve.
Twilight looked at everyone else.  “Should we see a show?  There are plenty of them.”
The others went their separate ways.  Coloratura looked around.  “Not that I’m too worried in a city like this that always has lots of ponies around, but I would have felt better if somepony stuck around for protection, considering the, oh, killer robot that’s after me.”
“I can do that,” said Merry.
“Thanks.  You know, you’re a lot cooler since you got your stuff together.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“I’m glad you’re happy,” said Braeburn.
“Thank you,” said Merry.
Elsewhere in the resort, the girls were on the way to a show.  Though with Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow doing their own thing, that left them somewhat limited.  Fortunately, a show called Ponet Fantastique included costumes, acrobatics, animals, and illusions.  Among Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack, there was just barely enough to interest each.  However, they unexpectedly ran into the Flim Flam Brothers.
Fortunately, the two of them were in a heated public argument and didn’t notice the girls buying tickets elsewhere.
“Glad we avoided that,” said Rarity.
“And how,” agreed Applejack.
Back in the casino, where Pinkie had won so much money that she was seductively swimming in it, Fluttershy was hoping she could have avoided that.  And how.  Pinkie even knew it wasn’t working, but tried to be seductive regardless.
Fluttershy tried to distract herself by looking at other games.  She had a mild panic attack upon seeing someone playing whackamole.
Pinkie’s sister Limestone came over.  “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, hey Limey!”  Pinkie jumped up and hugged her.  “We just came for a Las Pegasus vacation.”
“Can I have some money?” said Limestone.
“Sure!”  Pinkie shoved a wad of bits into her hooves.
“You know she’s just going to buy crack, right?” said Fluttershy.
“What now?” said Pinkie.
From high above the floor, the conversation was monitored through technology that was state of the art in Equestria - grainy black and white closed circuit television.  Cordoba watched the monitor, the three security ponies who normally occupied the monitoring room lying knocked out behind her.
Twilight would be happy to learn that she’d held back from killing them.  Then again, Cordoba decided, Twilight didn’t need to know at all.
Although, perhaps Cordoba should bring to her attention the shady double-dealings of Gladmane.  After following him around the casino on the monitors, it seemed that he only served to antagonize his employees.  Riling them up against each other seemed to keep the pressure off him.  Brilliant, really.
Speaking of shady double-dealings, the Flim Flam Brothers were still arguing out in the courtyard.
Columbia spotted them and headed in their direction.  As it happened, she was looking for an argument because that’s how you draw a crowd.  It didn’t even have to be her argument.
She walked into the courtyard, a podium floating in front of her, and began.  “Citizens!  The time has come to stand up for what we believe in!  Too long have your problems gone ignored.  When you elect me President of Equestria, I will work for you and make your wildest dreams come true!”
She rapped the floating podium with a hoof.  “But there are dark, evil forces that don’t want that to happen.  That makes you angry!  I’m angry!  We’re going to change things!”
She quickly turned and whispered to Flim and Flam, “I hear you’re the best salesponies there are.  Sell me into the Presidency and I’ll make it worth your while.”
The stallions looked at each other.
“Brother of mine, do you want to be peddling show tickets in Las Pegasus and arguing forever?” asked Flim.
“Would you rather be hype-ponies for whoever this is?” said Flam.
“It’s a change.”
“She looks rich.”
That agreed, they kicked off the show.  “Ladies and gentlecolts, I suppose you’re wondering how-” Flim looked at her.
“Princess Columbia.”
“-can live up to her lofty promises,” finished Flam.  “Well, you’ve never met a pony like her.”
“I can see that,” said a stallion in the front row who was wrapped up in a trench coat, sunglasses, and trilby.  Columbia, Flim, and Flam all frowned at his unusual voice, but carried on.
“Through the magic of capitalism!” said Flim.  “Tell ‘em, Flam.”
“You’d all like to have more spending money, right?” Flam addressed the crowd.  “With the magic of setting your own prices, you can earn as much money as you want!”
“Which means you can spend as much money as you want,” added Flam.
“Thereby energizing the free market with capital and making your investments grow exponentially!” finished Columbia.  “Vote for me and I will make you rich!”
“This sounds too good to be true,” said the disguised stallion.
“That’s because you’ve never had a President before,” said Columbia.  “When I’m elected, you’ll wonder how you ever got along without me.”
“Does anypony else think she’s making promises she can’t keep?” said the stallion.  “Or that she’s using a lot of doublespeak that doesn’t actually mean anything?”
“My good fellow-” Flam began, but the disguised stallion cut him off.
“No, this sounds like a con,” he protested.
“Nothing could be further from-” Flim tried, but he too was interrupted.
The trenchcoated pony turned around to address the crowd.  “They’re trying to take advantage of you for their own gain!”
“Hey!” protested Columbia.
He glanced at her.  “What, is this the first time anypony’s ever resisted you and your vapid rhetoric?”
“No, actually your resistance only makes my penis harder.  And I mean, it was already pretty hard.  I’m using it to hold up the podium.”
The crowd collectively took a step back.
“Viva la résistance!” shouted a masked mare, swinging down from the rooftops on one of the colorful hotel banners.  She and a few others dropped in.  “We represent the Sororal Order of Sorrel and are the front line in resisting the royal bourgeoisie that keeps Equestria down!  Viva Valiant!”
“If you elect me, I’ll keep nutcases like these out of the way,” offered Columbia.
The trenchcoated pony whirled.  “And who are you?  Sororal Order of Sorrel?”
“That’s a weird voice,” said the SOS pony.  She looked at her friends.  “Do any of you think it sounds kind of electronic?”
“Who I am is of no concern,” said the stallion quickly.  “What’s with your name and catchphrases?  Viva Valiant?  Are you some kind of stereotypical cult?”
“Did somebody say cult!?” shouted Trixie, arriving just then on Daring’s heels.
“Trixie,” said Flim and Flam, tipping their hats.
“Gentlecolts,” she said, tipping in reply.  She turned.  “I heard someone say cult.  What cult?”
“Don’t get all cult-murdery just yet,” Daring soothed her.  “We still need to find the amulet.”
Apparently sensing an impending rumble, Gladmane showed up.  “Now folks, you’re all here on vacation.  There’s nothing anypony can say to you that you should let hurt your feelings.”
Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack appeared just then, the show they’d attended coming to a close.  Twilight saw the crowd of ponies and sensed the tension in the air.  “What’s going on?”
“I believe I can explain that,” said Cordoba, strolling into the courtyard.
“Oh look, the walking deus ex machina cliché,” said the trenchcoated pony.  “Please, enlighten us about what could possibly be going on.”
“First, I am not good with the language, so I’m not sure what some of those words mean,” said Cordoba.  “But I have the feeling that it was an insult, so after I’m finished explaining the situation, I’m going to kill you.”
“We’ve been over this,” said Twilight, exasperated.
“Well, once you hear what I have to say, maybe you’ll at least consider it,” said Cordoba.  “Now then, after reviewing security tapes, I have discovered that Gladmane is manipulating his employee’s feelings to keep them under his control.”
“What-” Gladmane started to protest, but Cordoba talked over him.
“Flim and Flam were two such employees.  As of five minutes ago, they started working for Columbia at her rally for President.”
Columbia took the opportunity to wave and smile for the crowd.
“So with the sea of unhappy employees, someone came to Las Pegasus to be a white knight.  Someone who is always convinced of their own superiority.  Someone who couldn’t resist showing off how smart they are by interrupting a perfectly good political speech.  Someone who just happens to need a replacement electronic voicebox.  Isn’t that right, Quibble Pants?”
The disguised stallion removed his hat and sunglasses.  A small box was fastened around his throat.  A speaker on it said, “Fancy that, you figured out who I was from having access to some of the world’s best surveillance systems.”
“Quibble Pants!” shouted Daring.  “You were the one who took the Amulet of Culiacan!”
“And I sure did a lot better job of keeping it out of your clutches than Doctor Caballeron,” Quibble said.  “You know, because I’m actually smart.”
“How could you do this?” said Daring.  “Become a supervillain?”
“Supervillain?  Are you kidding me?”  Quibble shook his head.  “All I did was get to an artifact before you, my dear.”
“Call her ‘dear’ again,” growled Trixie.
Quibble laughed.  “Aside from being a better archeologist than the famous Daring Do, what have I actually done to deserve to be called a supervillain?  Just because I’m successful doesn’t mean you can call me evil.”
“You had to get that electronic technology from somewhere,” Cordoba pointed out. 
“Well, I had to find a way to regain my voice.  It still needs work, but I have a very helpful partner.”  Quibble looked up.  “Iron Mare?”
There was barely a hint of sound before a metal pony fell from the sky and slammed down in the center of the courtyard, cracking the stone.  It looked like a skeleton of a pony, just made of metal.  A sharp horn was attached to its forehead and synthetic wings spread from its back.  They all recognized Twi-minator, but now without a concealing cloak it was easy to see she’d gotten some upgrades.
“I am Iron Mare,” she said, voice hard and electronic.
“No you’re not,” said Cordoba.  “That’s a stupid name.  Also, I just figured out why you two have been after Coloratura.  Of course you’d go to a pony with one of the best voices in Equestria to figure out how to make yours better.  So…that’s why you’re a bad guy, Quibble Pants.”
“When I’m President, we won’t let ponies like this threaten our pop stars!” said Columbia.
The crowd cheered.
“Wait, what?” said the SOS pony.  “Is that what it takes to get approval?  We’ll, uh, make you all pop stars!”
The crowd cheered again.
Quibble facehoofed.  “Are you all dense?  Can’t you see that they’re making promises they can’t back up?”
Everyone in the crowd ignored him, which pissed him off.  He cranked the volume on his voicebox.  “Hey!  Listen!”
Gladmane, meanwhile, had gotten a microphone from somewhere.  “And if you think that deal sounds good, just hear what I have special for you, my friends.  It’s two-for-one night at the grand buffet!”
“Oh yeah, and back to you,” said Cordoba.  “This is more of a friendship problem, so I don’t really care, but you playing ponies off each other is kind of underhanded.”
“There’s no need to go slinging accusations like that,” said Gladmane.  “I treat everypony just like they’re my friend.”
“Merry May!” Cordoba called.
A couple of seconds later, Merry appeared.  The crowd, already backing away from the scene and sudden appearances by potential bad guys, backed away even further to allow her to land.
Cordoba showed everyone a tape.  “This is from hotel security.”  She had Merry play it, projected for all to see with her equipment.  There, depicted larger than life on the wall of the hotel, the video showed what Gladmane had been up to.
“Well, that’s not very nice,” said Twilight.
“Oh yeah?” said Gladmane.  “You might be the Elements, but I ain’t exactly a villain of your caliber, or even truly evil.  Using your friendship rainbow magic on me would be a waste, if it would even work.”
“Er, well, I’m not here on Elements business,” said Twilight.  “I’m...here in my Princess-designated capacity and I want to solve this issue.  I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”
“I haven’t broken any laws,” Gladmane pointed out.  He smirked.
“No, but I’ll make sure that you won’t have the chance,” said Twilight.  “I’ll... seize this resort.”
“On what grounds!?”
Twilight stuttered, “In the name of, uh…”
“Eminent domain,” said Columbia.  
“Right, that.”
“You can’t!” Gladmane protested.
“I just did,” said Twilight.
Gladmane stared at her for several seconds before storming away.
“Wow,” said Cordoba.  “I never thought you of all ponies would do something like that.”
Twilight stared at her.  “Is that what it takes to finally impress you?”
Quibble butted in.  “Friendship and government bullying aside, I believe we were trying to get back on topic.”
“When I’m President, there won’t be any government bullying!” Columbia proclaimed.
“Stop it!  You’re all just unbelievable!” said Quibble.  “None of you have any right to be special snowflakes that get away with everything!”
“Can I please kill him?” Cordoba begged Twilight.
Twilight, instead, addressed Quibble.  “What do you mean by special snowflakes?”
“Oh, look at you,” said Quibble.  “You’re Princess Celestia’s chosen student, you were once an alicorn, you’re the Governor of Silent Hill.  Nopony deserves that many superlatives, but your friends all have at least that many themselves!  Your privilege is sickening.”
“Everyone will be privileged when I’m President!” rallied Columbia.
“And you!” countered Quibble.  “Born out of a nuclear bomb on the moon, tall, politically ambitious, and then utterly ridiculous with a battering ram down below.”
Columbia frowned.  “Are you comparing my genetalia to medieval siege equipment?” 
“The fact that I can only demonstrates my point.  It’s unnatural for anypony to be so unique.  It’s the old ‘we’re all unique, but some of us are more unique than others’ shtick.  You think being different makes you better than anypony else.”
“No,” said Twilight.  “And I didn’t ask for half the things you said made me unique.  What’s this all about?”  She took a step closer.  “Who hurt you?”
Quibble pointed a hoof at Cordoba.
“You can see why I did, with the kind of shit he talks,” Cordoba replied.
Limestone Pie walked up just then and punched Quibble in the face.  He saw it coming, because Limestone wasn’t exactly subtle, and managed to dodge most of it.  “What was that for?” he demanded.
“I figured Cordoba would probably pay me if I did what I thought she wanted,” said Limestone.
“The Pie sisters,” Quibble spat.  “Pinkie is by far the worst offender, but you, Maud, and Marble each have personalities that take things to the extreme of each emotion and are all so unrealistic.”
The reason for that was because there was a fine line between genius and insanity and Limestone had snorted that line.
“Unrealistic?” said Twilight.  “How can real life be unrealistic?”
“Oh, maybe how we’re all the construct of some idealized and seemingly perfect alien?”
“We won’t be when I’m President!”
“Shut up!” Quibble screamed.  “I’m trying to tell everypony the real story!  I know what’s really going on because I’m smart enough to handle it!”
“Okay,” said Twilight.  “While I appreciate some of the points you make, and it hurts to acknowledge the remark about being a fictional world in somepony’s mind, you need to calm down so we can talk about this in a reserved and respectful manner.”
Just then, it began to snow.
The crowd looked up in confusion.  Las Pegasus was warm enough that it didn’t really snow at any time of the year, much less right in the middle of tourist season.
“I’m done,” said Quibble, throwing up his hooves.  “This is all so unrealistic.”
“You can’t leave,” said Cordoba.  “We have a score to settle.”
Quibble gestured to Twi-minator and then disappeared into the crowd.
Twi-minator walked forward.  “You are correct, we do have a score to settle.”
“Good thing I brought the depleted uranium rounds,” said Cordoba.  She reached for her suitcase inside Merry’s cargo compartment.
“I don’t think a shootout right now would be a good idea,” Merry protested.
“You might be the only one who actually intimidates Twi-minator,” said Cordoba.  “You’re a bigger robot.”
“Well yes, but-”
Twi-minator struck.  She leaped at Merry’s cockpit, but even the steel claws welded to her hooves didn’t make it through the tough airframe.  Merry started bouncing up and down on her suspension to try to shake her opponent off.
Cordoba opened her suitcase and poured its contents into Merry’s ammo hopper.  It wasn’t nearly a full load of 30mm rounds, but it was something.
However, by the time her gatling barrels had begun to spin, Twi-minator had spread her robotic wings and taken to the air.  Merry followed her up, Cordoba riding shotgun.
“Shoot her!” Cordoba commanded.
“This isn’t as life-threateningly serious as a loose nuclear weapon,” said Merry.  “And anyway, you’re riding shotgun - you shoot her.”
“Too far away; the pellets would disperse.  Look, if you’re actually going to stop and talk about it, then remember that this is nothing more than a machine,” Cordoba pointed out.  “One that’s caused a lot of trouble.”
“I...I guess,” said Merry.  However, Twi-minator skillfully ducked out of the way before she could align her sights.  Merry’s airframe was many things, but supermanuverable was not one of them.
As she tried to track her sights onto the target, Twi-minator kept moving and occasionally made diving attacks.
“She’s too fast!” said Merry.
“Well, what do you have going for you?” Cordoba said.  “Come on, be creative.”
At Twi-minator’s next dive, Merry abruptly reversed thrust on one of her engines, slewing her fuselage around and slinging her propeller on that side straight at Twi-minator.  The ponybot just barely avoided the attack, but the spinning blades tore a hole in one wing.  She flailed out of the sky, and abruptly teleported away.
The assembled crowd down below began to applaud.  Merry landed back in the courtyard.
Cordoba stepped down, receiving even greater applause.  She walked over to inspect Merry’s propeller, which had stopped spinning.
“I saw you hit that robot with your flying machine,” said a random pony.  “Was there any damage?”
“Are you okay, Merry?” Cordoba asked.
“I seem fine,” said Merry.  “Diagnostics aren’t showing anything.”
“A talking flying machine?” said the bystander.
“Heck, there’s a whole brain in there,” said Cordoba.
The crowd abruptly fell silent.  One of them whispered, “What has science done?”
Merry would have shifted uncomfortably if an aircraft moving on its own wouldn’t have only made her seem like more of a freak.
“All right folks, nothing to see here,” said Braeburn.
“What are you talking about?” said another bystander.  “You’re all metal.”
Braeburn’s plan to get the focus off Merry hadn’t worked exactly as he had intended, but she was still grateful.
They did manage to get the crowd to disperse.  In the confusion, the SOS had left Viva la résistance! graffitied on a wall.  Twilight preferred it to Valiant did nothing wrong.
But she had bigger problems to think about.  What would Princess Celestia think of the luxury Las Pegasus resort the government now owned?
Oh, and also how Quibble Pants and Twi-minator had teamed up to do...something.  They hadn’t been exactly clear on what.