"So... Discord, by any chance will you be letting us go soon?" Octavia asked.
"My dear, you came aboard willingly, so I'd prefer not to think of this as a kidnapping. We do have a destination though, so sit tight!"
The flying limousine switched to full gear and repeatedly smashed through the many obscuring clouds that got in the insane driver's way. While Vinyl and Lyra whooped and hollered their way through the skies, Octavia sat back and sighed.
"Discord, you are the best thing to come to Ponyville since bass!" Vinyl shouted over the wind resistance, blowing her hair back and providing a use for her goggles. She was stood up in the seat, receiving the full force of the wind, resembling her style of music.
"Please, you give me too little credit!" He replied normally. Somehow, his voice managed to keep in his charm over the flock of turbulent winds assaulting them. "Hmm, bass... now there's an idea..." Discord clicked his fingers, and a thunderous boom of music shot out from the sky. A moment later, and another shockwave of deafening music blasted from the pink clouds.
Vinyl barely flinched from the racket, accustomed to such noise, but instead cheered, "BASS THUNDER! AWESOME!"
Octavia rubbed her eyes with her hoof and gave her ear a knock, testing if she could still hear. Good enough, considering she lived with such noise on a regular basis.
Bon-Bon looked down to the havoc-filled streets of Ponyville. Some of the houses sprouted angelic, white wings and began to fly past the passenger ponies. No one seemed to take notice. The constant sun/moon rotation had stopped at least: it must have took a lot of magic to keep that running. The river that ran through Ponyville had turned from a shimmering blue to a dense, green goop, it's fish beginning to mutate into sea-ponies.
Discord's hoof elasticated and stretched over to Bon-Bon, tapping her on the shoulder. "Now, now, don't take in too much. There's plenty more to see. Next stop: Canterlot!" He magically appeared a pair of sunglasses on everypony, and the sun started shooting fireballs.
Opalescence purred softly in her sleep, another soothing day in which nothing disturbed her. Even Rarity had somehow managed to avoid lecturing her on the importance of real baths and not self-made ones. The quiet, rhythmic ticking of the clock did nothing to energize her more into getting up, but that was fine.
Her eyes briefly opened, scanning the surroundings of Rarity's boutique. Everything was as it should be, the neatly stacked fabrics, scattered mannequins and cosy purple wallpaper and flooring. If there was one thing Opal couldn't criticize about Rarity, it was her taste. Opal was currently snoozing on one of the mannequins already set up with some comfortable outfit. A little cat hair never hurt anypony.
Closing her eyes once more, she drifted back to sleep.
The devastating crash of a flaming meteor woke Opal from her second short respite. The roof of the pummelled boutique crumbled with the gaping hole that the giant rock brought. The flames immediately dissipated, followed by the rock dissolving, leaving behind the debris of the structure only. Everything resumed as it was before, quietness.
Opal looked at the wreckage from her position perched on the mannequin with distaste. She was relatively unmoved by the whole situation. There wasn't alot she could do about it, Rarity would be down the stairs any second to investigate.
Any second now...
Nothing. Either her owner was unconscious, or out. Opal decided that, providing the meteor hadn't hit Rarity herself, it would be best to at least investigate outside. Sooner or later, her owner would return, and most likely pin the blame for the carnage on her.
Daintily hopping from the mannequin, she carefully tip-toed around the bits of dislodged wood, strolling into the large crater in the ground. Looking into the sky through the gap, she saw sets of pink clouds flying past. Opal didn't really understand much of pegasi customs, nor did she care, but something was definitely amiss when they started pouring down with chocolate.
She leapt out of the way of it, refusing to have her gleaming white coat ruined. It fell into the crater and formed a pool, waves resonating in the circle. Normally, Opal would never be seen sampling such a horrid liquid found on the floor, it was most unbecoming for a cat of her class. Then again, this was certainly not 'normal'.
It was still milk, tasting and textured, but with a sweeter flavour to it. Thankfully nopony was around to see her indulge in such a foul behaviour, there was probably still bits of wood at the bottom. Admittedly, it was nice.
A sudden splashed wave of the brown liquid drenched Opal in sticky sweetness, matting her fur and darkening her coat. Opal glared at the cheeky object that caused such an abusive feat. A shelled, green sphere with lighter toned green blobs decorating it. Upon determining who exactly it was, Opal lashed out with a claw to show her annoyance. As expected, it barely scratched the tough surface, but it did send the shell spinning in the pool. The spin made it lose all balance, flipping it upside down.
After it had ceased spinning, Tank slowly poked his head out of the shell, offering an apologetic, upside-down smile at the cat. Floating about the pool were chunks of Tank's flying gear, the rotors clogged with cotton candy. While she was still slightly peeved at the offending tortoise, she pushed over his shell, allowing him to resume his normal position.
They looked at each other, and then to the sky, in a mutual feeling of confusion. If Tank could shrug, he would, leaving Opal to do it herself. Tank indicated his head towards the door. An interest in the current Ponyville events and desire to escape Rarity's accusing clutches lead her to follow him towards the cat flap.
She then realised, however, the average speed of a tortoise. Deciding it would take approximately a few years to just reach the door, she scooped him up on her back. What Tank lacked in mobility, he more than made up for in armour. The weight of his shell was easily enough to put a strain on the feline.
They both ducked under the cat flap and entered the new Ponyville. It seemed strange how mere moments ago Opal was falling asleep to gentle sounds when out here was populated with screaming ponies, parasprites sneezing bottle-caps and bushes growing apple pies. At least that tree Opal kept getting stuck in was gradually disappearing- it was drilling itself underground.
The sky was filled with Luna's stars even as the sun was out; the horizon ahead a pinkish green. Opal turned back to Tank, a blank face on both of them.
She continued on, even as the path turned to cobwebs, sticking to her paws. The few ponies they saw attempting to escape the madness paid no mind to the tortoise and cat, cruising through the distorted town. Everypony must have been hiding in their homes, for what good that gave them- many were upside down or floating into the air.
A cluster of corncobs darted past Opal's whiskers, and impacted the side of somepony's house near her before exploding. The wall of the beige house collapsed, revealing an irritated-looking earth pony stallion, slightly charred by black smoke. He had a brown coat and mane, temporarily leaving the exposed room and returning with a screwdriver in his mouth.
"Always when I'm relaxing," He sighed to himself, muffled by the object. He trotted up to a random still-standing wall of his house and pressed against it. As he did, certain tiles highlighted, and the wall slid open to reveal a blue 'police box'. He stepped into the nestled object, and a series of flashes later, disappeared along with it.
Ignoring it, they continued. Not like it was the craziest thing that had happened recently.
Tank's head bonked against the back of Opal's, and as she turned to frown at him, he pointed it towards the sky. Above was Owlowiscious, maneuvering in the air, escaping a fleet of chasing parasprites. These ones, however, were a metallic silver- they were bullets dotting the green sky. They were kept afloat by mini-propellers extending from their tops, like Tank's, but smaller.
The mechanical monsters had a knack for exploding into a flurry of custard, their remains raining down and pattering the floor around Opal. Owlowiscious spotted the grounded duo, and set about leading the parasprites towards them. The half-dozen of them plunged from the sky, diving at the owl and, consequently, Opal and Tank.
As Owlowiscious reached them, he changed angle and shot over and above their heads. With little time to think, Opal chose the way of the pony, bucking Tank over her head at the incoming parasprites. He sharply receded into his shell before it pounded the attackers, crushing the mechanical bits and spreading their tasty insides over his shell, re-painting it yellow.
Opal smirked to herself as the entrails missed her completely, shielded by Tank. He was going to be mad, but there was no real way to tell with a tortoise. Maybe a slow chagrin. It would help if he had eyebrows.
He landed on the right side of his shell though, and emerged not far away from her. Owlowiscious flew beside her, pleased to have the robots off his back, but puzzled all the same.
"Who?"
That was an interesting question. Who was behind this? It was a bit larger on the scale of crazy things to happen to Ponyville than usual.
Opal checked up on Tank after her well-coordinated response to the attack. While stickier, and yellow, he was okay. He shook his head at her lethargically, his one sign of disapproval. Opal slyly grinned, and once more got the tortoise on her back. Either way, today seemed it was going to end with her taking a bath.
The three pets continued a trek through Ponyville, no goal in sight and no questions being answered. Tornadoes spitting peanuts could be seen on the outskirts of the town, travelling through the hills and salting them. It seemed like it would be a fruitless effort attempting to convince Rarity that the boutique wasn't destroyed by her, with meteors and peanuts being her only excuse. That, and she couldn't talk. That was pretty important.
They were getting nowhere fast, everywhere were yet more examples of chaos but less examples of ponies they knew. They had reached town square, where the water fountain stood spraying marbles into the pool.
There was a rumbling, the earth vibrating in suspense. It rose in volume and effect as the incoming assault got closer. A stampede of mixed animals charged through, swarming the square. Opal and Tank jumped into the pool of marbles to avoid being trampled, while Owlowiscious simply flew higher. There were a few fish with legs, squirrels with teeth bigger than themselves, and bunnies with elongated horse legs.
While the rest of the stampede charged off to cause more havoc, a certain bunny stayed. One with a small, green alligator locked onto it's enormous horse-like leg. Gummy and Angel stared at the trio awkwardly, nothing able to be said about the situation. For once, Opal didn't feel like scrapping with Angel, he seemed rather intimidating with giant legs. Gummy released his gnawing gums from Angel, falling to the floor and landing on his feet.
To many ponies, this would be quite a disorderly, irregular group to come across. A spoilt, irritable cat with a custard-laced tortoise on her back. An inquisitive, bookworm owl. A smiling, toothless alligator and a mutated bunny.
The gang was slowly being reunited in the centre of the new, dangerous and insane Ponyville. The only one missing now was Winona.
The rumbling returned, this time, in timed, reverberating steps. Each second a new earthquake was caused, something big getting closer. The marbles shook out of the fountain, and, after Gummy tasted one, rolled towards the source of the sound.
Coming the opposite way was the border collie, frantically barking and yelping at her friends, circling them rapidly in fear. Angel held out one of his new bony legs and tripped Winona, finally pausing her cries, to the relief and celebrations of the rest of the group.
Winona was usually jumpy and playful, but this time it was out of warning, presumably for the massive thumps that kept sounding behind the rows of houses. In curiosity, the six pets sat there in wait, rather than running in alarm. There were enough threats to worry about and no real destination in mind. Threats like gargantuan slinkies that roamed around the streets freely by themselves.
Emerging from behind the neighbourhood of houses came a leviathan of a creature. The behemoth had a mix of white and brown feathers, the former being it's face while the latter adorned it's tremendous wings and tail. It was half-eagle, half-lion, and all terrifying, reaching the size of an ursa minor.
Smashing the various building's with it's tail and claws, it's beak let out a ferocious roar, "WHO'S THE JERK NOW, PONYVILLE!?"
The pets sat, gob-smacked, while buildings caved in under the pressure of the colossal force driving into them. Opal didn't recall Rarity saying anything about Gilda being this tall. Or this violent. Apparently the town wasn't the only thing being changed, a chaotic effect on the mind as well as the body.
Before Opal had the chance to turn tail and go home, Owlowiscious had a sudden burst of heroism. Just like his owner, he couldn't stand by as this happened to the town, or there wouldn't be one left.
Defying the meow of warning, Owlowiscious launched himself at the destructive griffon. The others were forced to fall in after him, sprinting towards the devastation. Before they could reach Gilda, Owlowiscious had already wing-slapped her.
Even on a creature as big as herself, she was able to feel it. Her massive head turned to regard the vulnerable owl, who was staring back at her, unmoved. On her face was a fixed glare, her huge eyebrows knitting together in anger.
"YOU LITTLE TWERP!" She swung her claw at the insignificant-looking owl. No doubt it would have hurt to be caught in it, but Owlowiscious was far more agile than the ton of feathers attacking, dodging easily. She continued relentlessly beating the air around him.
The others, meanwhile, formed plans of their own. Opal dashed to the monster's leg, claws sharpened at the ready. Upon reaching the lion's foot, she leapt and scaled up the forest of brown hair, digging her shards in. She was gradually making her way to the top of the behemoth.
Angel and Tank had their own collaboration plan. Or Tank didn't have a say in it. Kicked towards Gilda by Angel's stretched legs, Tank hid in his shell. While Gilda was distracted, Angel balanced Tank between his hooves and brought the weight down onto her claws.
Gilda reared up and screeched in agony, almost leaving Opal to fall as she reached her back. Winona weaved in and out of the claws and paws hitting the floor, until she reached Gilda's tail. Springing onto it, she clamped it between her jaws, growling in an effort to not let go as she swung through the air.
And Gummy...
Gummy was gumming her leg. Everyone had their strengths, and Gummy's was making the beast feel uncomfortable.
Repeatedly hitting her leg with Tank between his hooves, Angel was forced to run as she targeted him. It was difficult to run with Tank, so he threw him at her face as she tried to bite her way to victory. The custard still attached to Tank had stuck him to her beak, further annoying her.
Before she had the chance to swipe him off, Opal drove her bayonet claws into the back of Gilda's neck. Screaming in anger, she thrashed around, trying to knock her off. Opal had control though, using her claws to direct her into the surrounding houses like her puppet.
Angel was able to return and start bucking her in the legs, while Owlowiscious set about un-sticking Tank from Gilda's beak. Winona was still unwavering, mid-air and chomping on Gilda's tail. Gummy, too, was still doing his thing.
With a 'pop', Owlowiscious freed Tank from the beak, holding him between his claws, and lowered him to the ground, away from Gilda.
The individual attacks and twinges of pain coming from the unlikely squad of saviours was enough to blow Gilda over the edge, providing she wasn't already that far. Each time she was outwitted by an animal supposedly lower than her, physically and mentally.
"THAT'S IT! YOU ANNOYING DWEEBS!" She cawed, going into a frenzy of rage.
Her wings shot out, and catapulted Opal off of her. Owlowiscious sped after the flying, screeching kitty, and what was supposed to be a flawless catch rescue ended up with the both of them tumbling to the ground in a bowl of exhausted fur and feathers.
Suddenly, Gilda's attention turned to the pain in her tail. She raised it high into the air, and prepared to pulverise the dog into the ground. Before she could, the cream and brown dog released her jaws, landing on Gilda's feathery back. From here, she could slide down the tail with it in her mouth like a fire-pole, a trail of saliva coating it.
"GROSS," She said, quieter than usual, but still booming.
All of the animals retreated to Tank's position away from Gilda, next to the fountain again. Owlowiscious was responsible for unlatching Gummy's jaw and bringing him back. She found where they were 'hiding' in plain sight, a lack of energy in all of them, and began to march their way.
Opal's fur was a dishevelled mess, patches of dirt from the impact of the floor visible. Like a 'sick' phoenix, feathers sprang out from Owlowiscious, the tired owl landing. Winona was panting from exertion, and spitting out a few griffon feathers. Angel was really getting annoyed by the horse legs, beginning to lose balance and fall to the floor. Tank was relatively unscathed, despite the entire battle being him used as cannon fodder.
And Gummy was sitting, a wide toothless grin as he looked at the oversized slinkies wandering the roads. It was then he had an epiphany, in times of dire circumstance, Pinkie Pie had always told him:
"Slinkies solve everything!"
He gummed Owlowiscious briefly: it was his way of getting attention. When the owl took notice, Gummy moved his head towards the slinkies and back to the steadily approaching Gilda. More importantly, her legs.
"Who!" Owlowiscious exclaimed, and every pet stared at him. "Who who, who who. Who!" The pets followed each direction, each order given to them. "Who who! Who who, who!" He'd even managed to fit an inspirational speech in there. Each of them nodded their heads, aware of the situation, but with high morale nevertheless.
They spread out in different directions, Owlowiscious carrying Tank into the air who, in turn, was carrying Gummy. Meanwhile, Opal, Winona and Angel sprinted at the near-by monster as she entered the wide-open square, separated only by the marble-leaking fountain.
The griffon went to Gilda-smash Angel, but his long legs gave him greater strides, avoiding it well. He pulled back, further into the square. She then whirled on Winona, who was circling her back legs. The dog glided between each impact the griffon's claws had to the ground, zig-zagging closer to the fountain. Opal did the same once Winona was out of range, 'kiting' the brute.
Simultaneously, Owlowiscious, Gummy and Tank had dropped onto the tram-sized slinky some distance away, wrestling it into submission. It squirmed and flailed like a worm, resisting the foreign creatures trying to subdue it. Gummy was, of course, gumming the silver varmint, there was no way he'd be letting go. Owlowiscious was holding it up by the top end vertically, and Tank was grounding it with his weight, while Gummy stuck to the middle, wriggling around.
Eventually, the metallic spirals of the slinky had grew tired. They had broken in the slinky, next was Gilda. The unconscious slinky was rolled over to the fountain that Gilda was circling, it was surprisingly light. They were hidden behind the fountain for now, aside from the slinky.
With their part done, Gummy and Tank were hovered into the pool of marbles for safety by Owlowiscious.
Once the rotation between Opal, Winona and Angel had switched, Owlowiscious called out, "Who!" The two pets currently waiting behind Gilda, Angel and Opal, returned to the fountain while the griffon was still distracted by Winona. She was being circled around the square, making sure to keep the other plan out of sight.
Once Opal and Angel were in position with the slinky, Owlowiscious rotated with Winona, taking her attention to the skies, rather than the ground. Diving and dodging, Owlowiscious kept Gilda's head fixed upwards, who was determined to destroy the pesky bird.
Now Angel, Opal and Winona were in control of the slinky, and carefully rolled it from the fountain. They followed Gilda as she stomped through the courtyard square, gently and sneakily wrapping it around her legs. Winona handled the left side of her, while Angel took the right. Opal double knotted it by charging through the middle of her back legs.
Once they had covered the back legs, Owlowiscious stopped, making sure not to trip her yet, when she could try to break free with a paw. The grounded pets waited for both of Gilda's front paws to hit the floor.
The right paw landed first, springing Angel into action as he worked on constricting it with the slinky. Shortly after came the left, leaving Winona to wrap that while Opal double knotted through her legs. Once the initial knots were complete, the trio tangled more of the slinky in any way they could, switching legs and going in-and-out of every crack.
Once they were out of slinky to use, they all ran back to the fountain, leaving Owlowiscious alone. Gilda foolishly attempted to smack him with her beak. She put out a claw in a vain effort to keep her balance, her eyes going wide when she realised that it wasn't happening.
She tumbled to the ground with a resounding crash, the echoing smashes of buildings had finally ceased and the debris' smoke clearing. With all four of her limbs tied and knotted with the twirled, metallic rope, Gilda's backside was in the air and her limbs were attached to one another like a prize pig. She rolled onto her back and tried forcing her limbs free.
It was pointless. No one can untangle a slinky.
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" She squawked, tossing and turning.
The pets gathered around her, paw, wing and hoof-pumping in celebration. The 'sub-elements of harmony', saving Ponyville from a great menace. Gilda accepted her defeat, and lay limp. To add insult to injury, Gummy came up with a devious plan.
He waddled over to the frazzled griffon, getting closer to her lion feet. Her voice had gone much calmer, if still annoyed now. It was louder than most, but weary.
"What the hay is it doing now?"
He secured her paw with his gums, this time though, tickling her feet with his tongue.
"Woah-haha-wait-hahahaha, st-stop, hahaha! STOP IT! Hahahaha! Hahahaha!"
He was a cruel one, that Gummy. Merciless.
As the laughter rose, Gilda began shrinking progressively. Her limbs returning to normal size, slightly taller than a pony. It seemed the cure to over-sized griffons was being tickled. Or saliva. Or slinkies.
The slinky proved ineffective at her containment now, sliding off her. Gummy stopped and quickly returned to the group, staring at her with contempt, waiting for her to try something.
She groggily rose to her hooves, rubbing her head. "Oh, er, hey..." She offered uneasily, outnumbered by angry animals. "You know, I didn't mean any of that..."
Winona was growling, matching Opal's hissing as they creepily converged on her. Angel was digging at the ground, preparing a bull's charge. Owlowiscious was circling her head, keeping her watching him much like when she was a giant. All the while Gummy was smiling on top of Tank.
As it seemed to be going downhill, negotiations proving unsuccessful, Gilda decided the best course of action was a hasty escape. Her wings bolted outwards, and carried her into the sky after a powerful jump.
"See ya, losers!" She called out as she escaped, not paying any attention to the cloud limousine heading her way. It flattened her against the wind-shield and drove into the distance, before the magic wind-shield wipers activated, clearing her off and dropping her in a cotton-candy cloud.
The pets hastily-made mission was complete, and they were back to having nothing to do and still no idea what was going on. They were exhausted and messy with pride. It was a good thing trees that grew beds apparently existed, a queen-size falling from a branch, nestling comfortably under it.
Opal need no further encouragement, she hopped on top of the mattress and readied for an afternoon nap. Of course, she couldn't be expected to share. That would lead to a battle only claws could finish. Or the awkwardness of someone's gums.
Best pet play date ever.