//------------------------------// // An Afternoon Off // Story: Spike and Discord's Wild Ride // by Fortune Tune //------------------------------// Twilight and Spike trotted down the crystalline corridors of their home, the former looking worriedly at her assistant. "I really am sorry about this," Twilight said earnestly. "I know how much Guy's Night means to you. You shouldn't have to call it off on my account." "Hey, don't worry about it," Spike reassured her. "You can't control other ponies schedules. It's not your fault you had to reschedule your trip to Saddle Arabia." "I know, I'm just usually so much more organized than this. I thought we'd triple checked to make sure we didn't miss any diplomatic visits, but…" Twilight came to halt as a dreadful thought occurred to her. "Spike…have we been forgetting to triple check the checklists!?" Spike winced. "Uhh, kinda, yeah. I mean, with you girls going out like clockwork, we've only been able to give any checklist a once over. I'm a little surprised we haven't run into this problem sooner." Twilight shook her head disappointedly. "I knew these missions would leave us short for time, but I never imagined we wouldn't even be able to double check our checklists, much less triple." She took a deep breath, calming her already frayed nerves. "No sense worrying on what's already done. Spike, we need an extra checklist to make certain that we give every checklist at least a thorough double checking!" Spike, having already started writing her note down, smiled fondly. "It'll be just like old times. I almost started to miss our checklist checklists." "So have I. There's nothing more satisfying than an organized schedule, and with all our trips out of Equestria, I'd say we're overdue for a good reorganizing!" she reared up triumphantly, and continued on with a spring in her step until they passed the throne room, where several piles of paper work awaited her. "…after I finish organizing the trip to Saddle Arabia." "Right. I'll just put 'pick up extra scrolls to organize our back-up checklist' on the next checklist for when you get back," Spike chuckled. "Thanks, Spike. I can always count on you," said Twilight, ruffling the baby dragon's spines. "And thank you for helping with the brunt of this," she side-eyed the mountain of paperwork. "You enjoy the rest of the day. I'll tell the girls we're heading off again." "You sure you won't need anything?" asked Spike, peering over her shoulder. "That's a large pile of paperwork." "I'm sure," Twilight reassured him. "Right now I'm just waiting to confirm some appointments. Maybe you should to add 'make checklists for all the diplomats without checklists' to that other checklist," she said, smirking to herself. Spike smiled at the very Twilight-style joke. If there was one thing that would probably never change about her, it'd be her sense of humor. "Alright, if you're sure. I'm heading out then!" "Be back before dusk!" Twilight called as Spike jogged towards the castle doors. She saw him give her a thumbs up, and watched him start down the trail that lead to Ponyville, sighing as she turned back to the task at hoof. "Well, no sense in putting it off." She trotted into the throne room, and shut the doors behind her quietly, several dozen scrolls already in the grasp of her magic before the doors closed. *** Twilight had often gone on about variables in life, usually with nothing positive in the mix. To her, they represented unpredictable obstacles in an otherwise perfect schedule that could overcomplicate a peaceful evening. And while she had come to recognize their importance over the years - made apparent thanks to her and her friends unique meetings - if she had a choice, she'd much rather go without any unforeseen variables. But as Spike crested the hill overlooking Sweet Apple Acres, he found himself incredibly thankful for his own set of variables. It turned out the upset that Twilight's plans caused came at a surprisingly opportune time. When he went to tell Big Mac the news, the red stallion had been relieved. According to him, Applejack had needed extra assistance with a delivery due that day, and he was worried Spike would've been upset with him for missing their guy's night. After reassuring him that they'd postpone any campaigns until after they were all together, the baby dragon bid good-bye to his monosyllabic friend, and trotted back to Ponyville proper. Having nothing planned for his afternoon off, aside from a quick jaunt to Quills and Sofas, Spike took a detour through the White Tail Woods to take advantage of the quiet scenery. "That's one done," he said to himself. "Now all that's left is Discord. Now where did Fluttershy say that he lived?" "Why, where ever there's fun to be had!"  a voice replied from behind him. Spike's spines stood on end from how close it sounded, and he yelled loudly, shutting his eyes out of reflex. Seconds passed, and when nothing happened, he opened them to find himself snout to snout with the Lord of Chaos. "Hello Spike!" Discord said, smiling broadly as if he hadn't nearly given the young dragon a heart attack. "Fancy meeting you out here." "Discord!" Spike exclaimed, taking a step back. "You scared me…" "Glad to see I'm not loosing my touch," he laughed, receiving a glare from the baby dragon. "Oh, take it easy. It was a harmless little scare. Besides, you practically set yourself up for that one." "Well, blame yourself for being so hard to find. There's got to be an easier way to get a hold of you." "Stick a pin in that thought, because Fluttershy's out on another errand, and I thought we'd spend some guy time together! Where's Big Mac. I've got another storyline I've been itching to try out!" He donned a pirate's hat, the bow of a ship rising under him and a breeze kicking up that puffed out the sail in back of him. "I'd love to…but I can't," Spike began, already wincing as he watched the wind being literally taken out of Discord's sails. "Big Mac's going with Applejack to deliver some special pies over to the next town." "Well, what about Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash?" "Baby-sitting the twins and Wonderbolts training," Spike countered. "Sorry dude, but we're on our own." "Then we can make a day of it by ourselves," suggested Discord, undeterred. "The scenario I was thinking of doesn't necessarily need five players, though we'd need considerable muscle power to compensate…" Spike shook his head emphatically. "Ignoring the fact that we couldn't play with Twilight monopolizing the throne room for her next journey to Saddle Arabia, it'd be really unfair to leave the others out of such a crucial part of the adventure." He gave Discord a baleful look. "You remember how that feels, right?" The sting of that lesson still smarted, and the chaos lord conceded with a sigh. "I suppose you're right." He was quick to bounce back, though. "But that just means we'll have to find something else to do!" He lowered his head and looked at Spike with interest. "So, what does Princess Twilight's Number One Assistant do when he's not going on death defying journeys of heroism?" he asked, exaggerating his voice to match the bombast he gave. Spike grinned shyly, taking a moment to enjoy the praise. "Well, I'd like to think I'm pretty down-to-earth. I like to read comics, maybe read Daring Do… Oh, Big Mac took me to a buck ball game once. That was pretty fun." "If by fun you mean boring," Discord scoffed, much to the confusion of the baby dragon. "You've never thought of going anywhere exotic? I mean you're Twilight's assistant, for chaos' sake! Plus you campaign our entire adventure! You should at least be a little bit more outgoing with the company you keep." "Usually when I go on my own adventures, things don't turn out so hot…" Spike said dejectedly. "Why do you think I like playing that game so much? At least there, I can't screw anything up." "Oh, please, it can't be all that bad." Spike shot him a terse look. "Last time I went into the Everfree, I got attacked by Timberwolves, and had to have Applejack save me. Then I got into a whole thing about my Dragon Code and…" "A 'thing'?" Discord muttered. "I… sorta went overboard with it. I offered my services to Applejack and she didn't really like it. Not the least bit because I kept screwing up." "Not surprising. You dragons are talented, but you end up getting all flustered when you go on about that code." "How do you know about the dragon code!?" Spike blurted out. "Uhh, hello?" Discord teased, shaking his dragon tail with his dragon's foot. "Not to mention that I've seen dozens of dragons during my time. Granted they were usually running from me in terror, but still…" "Really? What were they like?" "Stuck up most of the time, at least when it came to the adults," said Discord dismissively. "The adolescents were a mixed bag. Some were fun and knew how to party! But others took after their parents. Either rowdy and destructive or just way too uptight for their age. It wasn't fun either way." "I never knew a dragon could be too uptight," said Spike. "I could probably deal with that at least." "Oh? You have some bad run ins with the older crowd?" Discord asked. "They 2 edgy 4 you?" The way he pronounced the words 'too' and 'for' sounded off to Spike, but he ignored it. "The first bunch of dragons I ran into were just big jerks. They tried to smash a phoenix egg and-!" "You played smash the egg?" Discord asked in disbelief. "Didn't think you had it in ya!" "I'd never do that! I saved that bird and raised it as my own!" Discord raised an eyebrow. "Well… I mean I returned him to his parents soon after, but the point is-!" "I know the point." Discord huffed. "Your pony upbringing made waves in the dragon community. Not hard too figure out what happened next. Still, Equestrian dragons must really be out of sorts if they're doing that again." "Again?" Spike wondered. "It was this whole 'thing' they did way back when," he began, and Spike couldn't help but feel like his earlier phrasing was being mocked. Still, he remained silent while Discord monologued. "A big group of dragons thought themselves superior to the others in every way and sought to destroy all the other eggs of rival groups. Needless to say that involved a lot of smashing. Eventually war broke out, the bad dragons won, blah blah blah, etc. etc. etc." He waved his lion's paw in a circular motion, as if trying to clear the air of that topic. Spike was all too happy to let him, not liking where that story was heading. "So, not all dragons are that…" he thought back to Discord's earlier word. "Edgy?" Discord snickered. "Those dragons weren't edgy! They were just dumb! Not even in the cool way." "That figures," Spike muttered. "I guess things really haven't changed from way back then." "You don't sound surprised about that," Discord mused. "You run into more dragons along your myriad of adventures?" "Well, I got summoned to the Dragon Gauntlet where I-" "So THAT'S why my leg was so itchy!" Spike gave Discord a curious look and was rewarded with the draconequus' tail tuft tickling his nose and making him sneeze. "Part dragon, remember? Keep up kid." He patted Spike on the head, much to the young dragon's annoyance. "Now, you were saying something about your last foray into the spotlight?" "Well, I helped Princess Ember win the thing, and then we became friends." "Oh?" Discord hovered in front of Spike, looming wide eyed with interest. "You're best-ies with the new Dragon Lord?" "Yeah, I am," Spike said, pushing Discord's snout out of his personal space. "She's pretty cool, just needs a little help expressing her feelings." "Ohh, that sounds like something we could do to pass the time!" He poofed a lab coat and a set of glassed, text appearing underneath him that read Professor Discord M.D. "I'm sure we can help her find her sensitive side!" Spike sighed at the lettering. "We're not going to operate on her! And I don't think Twilight would like me going on a trip to the dragon lands without telling her first." "What is she, your mom?" "No, but she'd be upset that she wasn't there to document it." Before Discord could offer a retort, Spike barreled through. "You're talking about exploring a dragon's mind to help her find her sensitive side. You know as well as I do that she'd have us go back again if we didn't record every second of our visit." Discord winced, remembering full well the lengths Twilight went to in search of scientifically accurate data collecting. "Fine, you've made your point. Then it appears that we are at an impasse," the chaos lord mused for a moment before brightening up, both figuratively and literally. "I know! Until we find something that won't get you in hot lava, what's say I help you finish what's on your agenda?" "Well, actually, I got the afternoon off. Twilight's deep in prep mode, and I doubt even a rampaging dragon could get her out of it." Discord hummed curiously at that. "In the meantime, I was planning on playing out a new tune on my belly. I think I got it down so that I can play the entire Ponyville anthem on it!" Discord scoffed. "That's nothing, I can play the entire Canterlot anthem on mine!" He stretched his body out, his mid-section turning into a large pony conducted orchestra, complete with Maestro. Spike found himself right next to the wind section and covered his ears when he heard the loud tuba that represented the ferocity of the 'Royal Canterlot voice' blow loudly, knocking him back several feet. "Ahh, that was fun! What did you think, Spike?" The draconequus was met with absolute silence, and looked around to find the baby dragon face down on the ground. He floated over to where Spike had landed, and poked him with his tail. "…Spike?" He flipped Spike over and smirked when he saw him breathing softly, knocked out cold. "The poor boy must be tuckered out. Well, that just means he'll need his rest. I'm sure Twilight won't mind a little interdimensional travel while he recovers his wits!" He picked up Spike with his tail and was just about to snap his fingers when… "BURP!!" Discord jerked his tail away, ducking his head at the sudden surge of dragon fire blasted at him. "Someone's got a sensitive tummy." He glanced back at Spike and caught sight of the flames turning into a small scroll. "Oh, that's right, you've got that nifty trick. I'd almost forgotten. Well, I'm sure you won't mind me sneaking a peak. Just say something if you think I shouldn't." He gently shook Spike, but the little dragon was no closer to waking. "I'll take that as a yes!" Discord unfurled the letter, squinting his eyes as he tried to decipher it. "Sheesh, did a Diamond Dog write this? I'd call this chicken scratch, but that'd be an insult to chickens." He brought up some reading glasses and slowly went over every line of broken dialogue. Unfortunately most of it was still very scribbled, as if the writer wrote it in extreme haste. "Let's see, 'Dear Princess Twilight and Spike… request your assistance…dragon lands…! Post haste! You're truly, Dragon Lord Ember!'' "Oh, happy day!" Discord cheered. "Looks like our day is about to get a lot more interesting" Spike, still unconscious, said nothing. "Oh, don't be that way. It is our job, nay our duty to see that our neighboring royals are safe and sound!" He donned a silver helmet and brandished a sword, posing with it heroically. "Come, Spike! We must be on our way to save the dragon lands from whatever ill fates befall it! Or be the cause of it, I'm good with either!" He snapped his fingers and vanished in a flash of light.