//------------------------------// // What Do You Do With A Drunken Unicorn? // Story: Harmony's Wrath // by hahatimeforponies //------------------------------// Up in the skies over Hoofington, two pegasi carefully surveyed the dimly lit streets. Small as the town was, the lighting conditions still made it a pain to figure out what was a pony on the ground and what was just some loose trash, or a cloud fragment. "Hey, Derpy," Rainbow Dash swooped in a little closer, moving in to hearing range. "Hm?" "I meant to ask... what's with the eye? It wasn't like that in Cloudsdale." "Oh, so it is noticeable?" Derpy chuckled, looking over to her side, showing off their obvious discrepancy; her right eye looking attentively towards Dash, the left gazing vacantly at nothing in particular. She lifted her hoof to her face and sharply tapped her left eye. Rather than squishing slightly, it made a little dink. "This one's glass. Had a little accident a few years back." Hm. Makes sense. "Can never get it to point the right way." "You'll never take me alive, ahahah!" The distant call echoed out below them, drawing their attention to the ground. A somewhat muddy unicorn in a tattered cape was tearing down a street, stumbling once or twice along the way. Derpy blinked incredulously. "Trixie?" "Mhm." Rainbow replied flatly. Barrelling around the corner into a small alley, Twilight pursued her quarry into the darkness, Spike clinging on for dear life, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy close behind. "Twilight! Get down!" Spike barked from his crow's-nest position atop her head. Rather than question his advice, the unicorn immediately ducked, proning against the ground and skidding for a length or so. Spike swung down on to her back, just in time for a long, metal blade to pass through the spot where he was, between Twilight's horn and her right ear. Both of them gulped. Pinkie Pie, not far behind, stopped on a dime, and Fluttershy collided with her tail end, also forced to a stop. In just the second they had to spare, Twilight took a glance up at the blade. It was clearly a sword, a length long and with an ornately decorated handle, and judging by the far-from-pristine blade it was quite old. Is that... It was surrounded by a soft, hazy blue glow, and a short way in front of them, also lit up by the same muted glow was Trixie, smirking, legs apart in a combative stance. Twilight rolled to the side, squashing Spike against the floor briefly, avoiding the clumsy downward strike that followed. Taking another moment for observation, she looked over her shoulder and psychically reached for her sword - if it was still there. Kshing. The handle slid into her field of vision. If I still have mine... that means... She didn't have much time for argument - Trixie was already rearing up another swing. Twilight leapt backwards, performing something between a shy and a jump, and the sword clanged against the stone of the wall next to her. "Stay still, would you!" Trixie barked in frustration. Twilight reared up some more, and drew her sword in front of herself, holding it horizontally to present a defence. Trixie growled, and her sword swept awkwardly across the floor to attempt a lateral slash at Twilight's body. Spike buried his face in Twilight's mane. Sl-shing. With poise and control, Twilight brought her sword around to block the strike, angling her blade so that Trixie's slid harmlessly overhead. Trixie screeched in exasperation, and quickly prepared another lumbering swing from above. Twilight wasted no time in parrying the strike; holding her sword at cross-angles, the swords met just hoof-widths from her face. She was easily more powerful than her adversary at the best of times, but with Trixie in this state, it was practically foal's play. With just the meagrest of shoves, she sent Trixie's sword careering into the air, breaking her grip on it and flinging it on to the rooftops. "I'm not kidding around Trixie, we need to talk to you!" "Never!" Trixie wailed, and summoned a small puff of smoke from the floor - nowhere near enough to obscure her escape fully - and bolted for the back of the alley. Twilight's jaw hung slack as she watched Trixie slowly attempt to climb a drainpipe to the top of one of the buildings, giggling to herself and occasionally shouting something about being 'great and powerful'. "Pinkie, I'm never introducing you to alcohol. Ever." Twilight, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy reconvened at the top of the building; Twilight and Pinkie located a ladder to scurry up, and Fluttershy had the benefit of wings. They had more than enough time to corner Trixie before she struggled to the top of the drainpipe. "Aha! I am the queen of the wall! Ahoh. Uhm..." Trixie hauled her front half up, only to meet Twilight's castigating stare. "Uh... thinkfast!" She grinned maliciously, and with her sword just three lengths away along the rooftop, she could easily sweep it over, attempting to catch her pursuers' legs. "Eep!" Pinkie jumped back at the last moment, prompting Twilight to follow suit; the light breeze from the blade fanned the bottom of her hooves. Fluttershy, being airborne, was perfectly safe. This moments' distraction was enough to give Trixie time to find purchase on the shingles and clamber up, assuming another sloppy, defensive stance, sword held in front of her. The three other ponies shied back, Twilight pulling out her weapon again. Fluttershy attempted to pull her staff free of its sling, but gave up after a couple of seconds, figuring that it was just too unwieldy for ready use. "Trixie, stop this! We haven't got time to waste!" "Catch me if you can!" Trixie tittered, jumping forward a little before backing around to leap over to the next building with a running start. Her sword floated along in the air behind her. Twilight sighed, and made a similar run for the gap. She fudged the landing, stumbling at the edge of the roof, giving Trixie another few seconds' head-start. This is insane. I'm chasing an inebriated, washed-up parlour magician across the rooves of Hoofington in the middle of the night... and this is supposed to free Equestria. Another jump, again barely made - she winded herself a little in the landing, and without Fluttershy's helping hoof, she might not have been able to recover the fumble. Buck my life. Trixie, nearly a full building's length ahead, dropped her sword by a chimney and scaled it, balancing uneasily on the top of it. "No-one can catch the grrrrr-eat and powerful Trixie!" Okay, no more games. Twilight lowered her sword, and skidded to a halt just short of the chimney. In just a half-second or so, she charged up a short, mild concussive blast, and fired it at the top of the chimney. The shockwave was just enough to toss Trixie from the chimney-top, and the startled unicorn flailed wildly on the way down. Thump. Trixie's flank connected with the roof shingles, and she yelped in pain. The drink dulled most of it, but that still hurt. Stunned, she rolled limply to the edge of the roof. Twilight had anticipated this - she was already diving for where she expected her to land. With not a moment to spare, Twilight caught one of Trixie's front hooves, and her hind hooves slid off. Her grip was fairly safe, and there was always Fluttershy on hand to help, but her position was most compromising - teetering on the edge of the second-storey roof, with a sword floating over her head. "Now can we talk?" Twilight growled. Trixie's eyes shifted from side to side, and reluctantly, she nodded. "So, uh... come here often?" "Don't. Make me drop you." Twilight glared contemptuously into Trixie's eyes. Something about the snowy roof, the cobblestone pavement below and the razor-sharp sword hanging overhead made the mischief vanish pretty sharpish. Her look said it all - a disdainful glower that read, I don't like this anymore than you do, Trixie. But dammit, there's more important things at stake here. "Al... alright... help me up, and we'll..." Hic. "... we'll talk." Trixie's voice began to tremble a little. Twilight gave a little nod to Fluttershy. The pegasus acknowledged, and got into position below Trixie. Steadily, she pushed her up from below, and before long, she was (comparatively) safe again. She let out a sigh of relief, and... promptly bolted for the next gap in the rooves, giggling deliriously to herself. "You'll never take me ahglk-" Mid-sentence, and mid-retreat, she was interrupted by a firm thunk to her side. A multi-coloured blur careered into her from nowhere, knocking her clean off the roof. "Wh- Rainbow?" Twilight stared, taken aback. Trixie's path through the air was controlled and precise, tracing an arc from the rooftop to a position in the middle of the street, landing quite neatly on another pony's back. "Now, ya'll are gonna come with us..." The pony chuckled, carrying the dazed Trixie into a nearby alleyway. "Applejack? What... I thought you guys were..." "The Crusaders? We couldn't find 'em. They've moved on." Derpy spoke from beside her. Twilight nearly jumped out of her skin, her sword swinging wildly into the air. The weapon spun freely off the edge of the building, but rather than hearing the clang of metal on stone follow, she heard simply another voice. "You really should be more careful with that thing, darling." Looking over the edge, she saw Rarity, holding her sword aloft, waiting for her to take it back. "Okay then..." Twilight blinked, panting a little, and returning the sword to its scabbard. "So... what was that about? Where's Applejack taking Trixie?" "Oh, we figured you might have been a little in over your head with Trixie, so we thought up a plan to help, well... soften her up a little for you." Rarity answered, a slightly malevolent smirk creeping in towards the end of her sentence. "What do you mean by..." Wait... Rainbow Dash and Applejack. "... oh. Oh okay. Just... give her back in one piece. We kinda need her that way." "Oh, don't worry, I'm sure they'll be as careful as ever..." "Eughh... wait... I'm alive! The Great and Powerful Trixie is ali-" Doof. Applejack dumped Trixie from her back in the middle of the small, dark alleyway. "Well, that's no way to treat the Great and Powerful hmph!" Fed up with her blabbering, Applejack jammed a hoof in Trixie's mouth. "If you dinn't like that, then you definitely ain't gonna like what's comin' up next." Applejack smirked gleefully. Trixie shied away, and started heading for the alley's opposite exit, only to be blocked when Rainbow Dash dropped in her path, forehooves crossed. "Nope." "By the time we're through with you, the only thing they'll call you is 'loser'." Dash taunted, starting to advance on her. "What? I... no! I... Help! I need an adult!" Trixie shrieked hysterically. Crunch. A hoof connected with the side of her head. She spun around, and flopped on the ground at Applejack's feet. "Wh... why did you..." "If that was me..." Applejack worked a hoof under Trixie's jaw and lifted her face up to eye level. "... you wouldn't be talkin' right now." Trixie was aghast; but only briefly, before she was struck again; the earth pony bringing her free hoof to connect with the other side of her head. The strike dislodged her from her perch, and she slumped to the ground, groaning. "Y'know, I just thought of something guys." Spike put out casually, sat comfortably atop Twilight's head. He and the other five ponies were waiting at street level. "Does it bother you, the way you've... y'know. Become more..." His statement was punctuated by a faint, guttural scream from the nearby alleyway. "...violent since this whole thing started?" "What? Oh, I..." Fluttershy lowered her head and blushed. "Sorry..." "I don't think he means you, Fluttershy." Twilight chuckled, still mulling over his observation. "I suppose it should bother me... but I've been so focussed on the goal here. I've just been doing whatever it takes and not thinking too much about it." "The story did say Equestria used to be a violent and savage place." Rarity added, twirling her dagger in the air idly. "This might be a taste of the real world, in a way." "Exactly." Twilight added. Mentally, she reassured herself; the real world. The real Equestria. "Hmm... I guess it just makes me wonder about what's gonna happen after this is over." Spike mused, gazing up at Canterlot in the distance, its spires and rooftops accented by moonlight.