//------------------------------// // Session 35 // Story: Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun) // by Alex Warlorn //------------------------------// Session 35.0 Grogar-the-oneser "Is," Twilight said calmly. "Isn't!" Spike said annoyed. "Is." "Isn't!" Spike snapped. "Look, tengu aren't goblins!" "In some mythology books they are described as such," Twilight said. "And in Ogre and Oubliettes there's no proof that there isn't some connection between the two." "Urr fine, but you're the only tengu alright!" Spike said. "Fine by me," Twilight said. The other, not as well read about different goblins just chose the normal kind for the most part but Rainbow Dash did chose a hobgoblin. "Alright the adventurerss come to attack you, what do you do." "I use my fan to change the size of there snouts to a size that makes it difficult to move." Twilight said. "WHAT? you can't-" "Tengu have that ability or do I need to bring out 'the Tengu fan' out." Twilght said. "Urrgh." Spike groaned as he rolled the dice "Your magic was effective, they can't move now." Session 35.1 Kendell2 "So they made a fighting game out of you and your friends?" Thorax asked, visiting Ponyville. Spike nodded. "Yeah. Well, and our enemies...and Daring Do and Ahuizotl as guest fighters. It's awesome! They consulted most of us to get it accurate (and okay us being in it, so no one got sued...again)...though they didn't listen to everything..." "Which button turns you into a cupcake?" Discord asked, looking at the controller, having naturally played himself. Pressing a button caused his in game self to produce a giant flaming candy cane that made chicken noises. "It's called 'gameplay segregation', Discord," Twilight replied, having chosen Princess Celestia, who was hit by said giant flaming candy cane. "Well I told them I'd just do that if somepony tried to beat me up!" "Which is why your bio in game states somepony goaded you into not using your true power for the tournament," the lavender unicorn replied. Spike looked to Thorax. "And that's probably why." Discord opened his mouth. "We both know that would actually work. Your ego is the size of Equestria," Twilight pointed out. "...Correction: my self esteem is the size of Jupiter," was Discord's reply, sticking his nose up. "Also, you took your eyes off the screen." Discord's eyes went wide as Twilight's Celestia maxed out her power meter. The Princess of the Sun's mane and tail ignited and her body seemed to become fire before she dove at Discord's...Discord with a punch to the jaw.. The screen cut away to an image of Celestia flying up in front of the sun and building up power in her horn before unleashing a screen filling beam of solar plasma that nailed Discord head on, blowing him away. "KO! Princess Celestia wins!" the game stated as Celestia posed with Philomena landing on her foreleg. Discord grumbled. "Stupid game...Rematch." Thorax shuddered. "Yikes...Queen Chrysalis won't like to see that one..." "Why?" Spike asked. Thorax pointed to his holes. "Last time she saw it, it did this." The little drake shuddered at that. "Fair enough. She's in the game though..." --- At the Crystal Empire, Cadence and Chrysalis were staring intensely at the screen, both naturally playing as themselves, and doing fairly evenly. "I thought with how they think of you they'd make you the most girly thing on the planet, Princess," Chrysalis taunted, her in game self performing a special move where she turned into a black and green dragon and breathed fire at the opponent. "Oh, believe me, they tried," Cadence replied, using her own special move where she created a shield of light and love to defend herself. "But I wouldn't have any of it." "I admit, I respect that, "Chrysalis replied, their two in game selves pounding on each other until Chrysalis activated her ultimate attack, her in game self firing a beam of green energy from her horn. However, Cadence managed to just barely activate her own, causing her in game self to fire a blue one to match it. The two beams fought back and forth as the two mashed the buttons. Cadence just BARELY managed to win out. The result was Cadence's beam hitting and cutting away to Chrysalis trapped in a force field of light and love while Cadence fired out a blue energy beam that split in two then arced upwards and slammed down on Chrysalis, forming a giant heart shape with a giant explosion. "KO! Princess Cadence wins!" the computer announced, Shining Armor appearing next to Cadence and the two nuzzling. "Got you!" Cadence replied, giving a smirk. Chrysalis snarled...then got a smirk. "Rematch?" At the character select screen (which in addition to the obvious, included Dragon Lord Ember, Shining Armor, Spitfire, and so on), Chrysalis, to Cadence's surprise, chose Cadence...then switched her costume to her 'Empress Cadenza' outfit (Celestia had asked Sombra's good self be included as a tribute, so the rest were as well and explained in the story mode, given slightly visually altered attacks). Cadence had agreed to it because it gave her more leverage to make them not make her character girly, but obviously wasn't fond of her monstrous alternate self. The Changeling Queen gave a smirk. Cadence glared...then returned it and selected Chrysalis...and her 'Duchess Chrysalis' outfit, spoiling the Queen's mocking mood. Session 35.2 Alex Warlorn The CMC had been surprised when Cheerilee had invited any students who were interested in a game of Power Ponies, no strings attached, and even get extra credit. Of course the foals had jumped at the chance. The CMC had gotten on the top of the list with quick reflexes. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had bribed to get in on the action too (they were reformed, but still had money to burn) and Cheerilee didn't mind the generous donation. "An enchanted comic?!" Scootaloo gasped. "Yes," Cheerilee nodded. "I had it custom ordered just for this adventure. I'm sure you'll all love it!" "THIS IS GREAT! IN WE GO!" Scootaloo cheered. A minute later, the six ponies were dressed up as the Power Ponies in Maretropolis. Hum Drum being played by an NPC whose job it was to direct the party to the next set piece. Cheerilee had surprisingly joined in. With four earth ponies and one unicorn and pegasi, there was some changes to the group's make up. Scootaloo was Zap of course, Sweetie was Radiance, Apple Bloom was Mistress Marevelous... Diamond Tiara would get her hooves on being Mask Madderhorn, Silver Spoon had picked Fillisecond since Mistress Marevelous was taken, and that left Cheerilee as Saddle Rager. "So! Is the villain the Mane-iac? High Heel? Long-Face?" Scootaloo asked. "Actually, it's a custom villain." Cheerilee said with a smile that should have had the foals running. "Look Power Ponies! It's Miss Spell!" Hum Drum pointed. "Miss Spell?" Diamond Tiara tilted her head. The Power Ponies looked over the roof top that was the comic's starting point, and saw a unicorn mare burst out of the local post office. She looked... like a recolor of Trixie and her costume to be honest, except with letters instead of stars. He held a magic wand in one hoof. "bwaahaha i the great and power Miss spell have done! I've liberated all those pour letters from the chains of grammer! soon all of maretropolis will no longer be under the tyranny" The little foals cringed. "How could I actually HEAR that?!" Diamond Tiara exclaimed. "Stop! Police!" Said a couple of police ponies as they zoomed in front of the post office... letters flying about in the wind, and all of them now with terrible grammar. "uh-uh-uh.... you don't want to do that.. !" Miss Spell fired her want at the police ponies... their eyes turned swirly. "i have been freed from the tyranny of grammer i owe so much to you Miss spell, what can i do for you" "She's turning them into misspelling zombies!" Hum Drum exclaimed. "Take care of those meddling Power ponies over they're!" Miss Spell pointed at the nearby rooftop. "Hey! We haven't even started yet!" Diamond Tiara exclaimed as the zombified police ponies began to fire lasers at them. "Oh brother!" Scootaloo snorted, and rose up (she found she could fly in this world), and used the the storm pendant to call down a lightning storm on Miss Spell, who deflected the lightning with a wave of her wand. "ha! your never going to beet me i am invincible!" "There's only one way to beat her Power Ponies! She HATES being corrected! If you correct her bad grammar she'll be distracted and lose control over her victims!" Hum Drum did exposition. Silver Spoon rolled her eyes. Sweetie looked at Cheerilee. "Uh... this is about us not doing our homework last week?" "Now what would ever make you say that Sweetie Belle?" Cheerilee grinned. Session 35.3 Alex Warlorn And the CMC+2 dealt with the ordeal of Edutainment, the Elements of Harmony had gathered around the Cutie Mark Map Once again. Only this time it was just the six of them and Spike The Dragon (sitting behind the Oubliette Overseer Screen). "So..." Pinkie Pie asked. "No Trixie this time?" "No Trixie. No Discord. No Gilda. No Starlight Glimmer. No Sunburst. No Button Mash. It's gonna be just the six of us this time." Twilight said. "So... what's the game this time?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Just plain vanilla Oubliettes and Ogres," Spike said. "No extra modules, no spaceships, no demi-domain of dread. Just a band of heroes, some townsfolk in need of help, and evil but loaded with loot monsters." Applejack, "That's it? No gimmicks? No magic LARPin'? No enchanted game books? Just us, the dice, and our imaginations?" "That's it!" Spike said proudly. "I think... after all the crazy stuff we've been through... I convinced Twilight that a straight up O&O adventure would be good for her, and you guys. So every pony have their new character sheets?" "I'll be playing a wizard of course." Twilight said. "A wizard AGAIN Twilight?" Rainbow Dash said. "I'll have you know Wizards and Sorceresses are completely different classes." "They both zap stuff and have a little creature who act as their snarky servant. What's the difference?" Rainbow Dash asked. All eyes turned towards Spike. "I'm not touching that one," Spike said. "And you Rainbow?" "Rogue." "At least it's not barbarian this time," Rarity sighed. "OH! I'm playing a Barbarian!" Pinkie Pie grinned. "Not a bard this time? Color me shocked." AJ remarked. "Well, maybe I'll take levels in that later." Pinkie nodded. "Fluttershy?" Spike asked. "Oh! Um. Druid." "Some things never change. Applejack?" "... Ranger." "At least you girls know what you like," Spike said going over his adventure notes. "And Rarity? How about you?" "Oh my little Spiky-Wikey, I'll be playing as a cleric of Lurue! She decrees we live our lives with zeal and flare, and I'll spread her holy message across the land." Rarity boomed striking a dramatic pose. "... Better than that time Rainbow Dash tried to be a cleric of every god in the rule book, and extended rule book, and the unofficial rule books." "I thought we agreed never to speak of that again!" (Zombie Orpheus Entertainment reference people!). "What I can't believe is Pinkie Pie tried to do the same thing!" Rarity said. "For the record, it was only the core gods, and I was trying to spread a message of peace among the heavens." "Which is why you still have that statue of your character on Cleric Street in the capital," Spike said. "Yeah, too bad I couldn't be resurrected because my soul got split up among the afterlives." "Okay, enough prancing down memory lane! Let's do this." "Are we meetin' in a tavern and having a fight break out?" Applejack asked. Spike discreetly tossed out some of his note. "What? Of course not. You meet in a ... bright cheery open field with a big sign saying 'Adventures Wanted!' Looks like there's work for all of you." Session 35.4 Mtangalion In the next room over... technically, it *had* been an adjacent room of the castle before Discord snapped his claws... Gilda and Trixie wore black leathers and dark goggles. Their tyrannosaurs biker gang was facing off against Button Mash, Starlight Glimmer, and Sunburst, piloting alien crystal laser mech suits. "What are we even doing?" shouted Starlight, as their mechs combined into a bigger mech, playing it's own theme music on giant shoulder-mounted speakers. The dinosaurs revved their motorbikes. "Who cares?" shouted Gilda back. "This is bucking awesome!" Princess Twilight flicked her ears, and discreetly reinforced the soundproofing spell. Session 35.5 Mtangalion "There's a messenger pony ringing a bell for attention," said Spike, "and it looks like he's already drawing a crowd! The Princess of the Realm is putting a bounty on..." He grinned sharply. "Ogres." "Oh my!" exclaimed Fluttershy. "Aren't ogres really big and... mean?" "I would assume so," said Rarity. "Although I don't believe we've ever actually fought any! Which is kind of odd, seeing as how this game *is* called Ogres and Oubliettes." "Shiny told me that they kind of fell out of favor after the first edition of the game," said Twilight. "Ponies complained that they were overused, generic bad guys. They're descended from earth elementals, so no matter how carried away an adventuring party gets, it's practically impossible to kill one." Spike nodded. "But since we're going back to the classics..." He pushed a hastily drawn bounty scroll towards them. Rainbow stopped slouching and leaned over the table to see. "A special bonus for discovering the new ogre leader and putting an end to these village attacks, huh? Tell that messenger that we're on the case!" AJ rubbed her chin with a hoof. "Say, are we gonna see one of those 'oubliette' things while we're at it?" Spike kneaded his claws, doing his best evil chuckle. "Oubliettes are kind of small. I was thinking of having you girls explore a dungeon!" Session 35.6 Grogar-the-onser Twilight wisely kept silent about the fact that oubliettes are in fact dungeons albeit secretive ones (with access only through a trapdoor in its ceiling) since she didn't want to ruin the fun. "Okay... whose dungeon?" Rainbow Dash asked "And don't say-" "Squizard!" "Darnit." Rainbow Dash sighed. "Okay then, this should be interesting," Rarity said. "Lets do it!" Applejack stated. Session 35.7 Alex Warlorn Pinkie Pie spoke up. "HEY! I thought were going to fight ogres!" "Uh, they work for the Squizard!" "Doesn't he use skeletons?" "He changed his mind!" "And didn't we establish before that you abandoned that campaign setting because it was too embarrassing after Rarity started to role play and found out about Princess Sharity?" Spike blush and let out a garbled noise. "Don't talk about that! And he's an official character in the rule book!" "And how do we even know in character that it's the Squizard's dungeon? Isn't our entire quest to find out who the Ogre leader is?" Rainbow Dash shouted, "Hey! Royal messenger guy! The ogre leader is the Squizard! So how about that reward!" "You can't just tell them that!" Spike snapped. "I just did." "You can't in character!" "I just had a lucky guess I guess." Rainbow grinned. "They conclude you must be a spy and arrest you!" "If I was spy, why would I say who my boss is?" "UGH!" Spike groaned. He flicked the Squizard card off the table. "The Squizard isn't the ogre leader! There! You gave them false information! And are arrested!" "You can't just change stuff like that after you just told us!" "I didn't in game!" "It's the same thing!" "Is not!" "Is too!" Session 35.8 Kendell2 Fluttershy blinked, watching Discord play the fighting game. It was currently a four way battle with Discord fighting Chrysalis, Tirek, and Ahuizotl. "Discord?" "Yes, Fluttershy?" the Draconequus asked, pressing buttons and causing his in game self to manifest an anvil and drop it on Chrysalis' head. "What are you doing?" the shy pegasus asked. "Villain battle royal! I gave Chrysalis, Tirek, and Ahuizotl 'magic internet' to play...I'd have teleported into Chrysalis' castle to play, but restraining order..." Discord muttered as Tirek performed punched him across the arena. Chrysalis and Tirek thought Ahuizotl was just an NPC thrown in to get an even number. Fluttershy cocked her head. "What about Starlight?" "She and Luna didn't want the honor. Besides, of the three of us I'm still classified as 'antagonistic'..." "Oh...what about Sombra?" --- Sombra's severed horn laid in a random area of snow in the frozen north, a TV sitting in front of it with a controller. Predictably, nothing happened. --- "Tried that, didn't work. Apparently dead people can't play video games very well. Who knew?" Discord replied, as Chrysalis charged her ultimate attack. Discord smirked, positioned himself (who Chrysalis was locked onto)...then used a teleport move his character had to dodge and get Tirek hit instead. The screen cut away to Chrysalis blasting him to the ground and slowly approaching the Centaur with a sinister smirk, before the picture cut away to him hanging in a cocoon. "KO!" Discord then had his in game self do a maniacal laughter taunt, which Chrysalis joined in. "In your face, 'friend!'" --- Tirek snarled and threw the controller away. "Some day I will kill you all!" A Bugbear roar came from nearby. "SHUT UP! I at least DID SOMETHING when I escaped instead of doing nothing for years!" --- "HA!" Chrysalis spat. "Serves that glutton right, now to deal with the manchild." "What about Ahuizotl?" asked one of her Changelings. "Eh, that b-lister? Who cares..." --- The fight resumed, with all three remaining villains taking shots at one another. Discord smirked, activating his ultimate attack while Chrysalis was busy knocking Ahuizotl away. The result was an pinball cabinet falling on Chrysalis' head, taking the screen to Chrysalis looking up through glass at a giant Discord, who cracked his claws and began playing the cabinet, resulting in her being a pinball being bounced around painfully inside the machine before Discord got the high score and it exploded. "KO!" --- Chrysalis snarled in rage as her Changelings backed away. --- "HAHAHA! Alright, now just to deal with Mr. 'I'll Target This One Specific Valley In The Entire Bucking World'!" Discord cackled. The cackling quickly stopped when Ahuizotl blindsided him with HIS ultimate, which consisted of pouncing on him and tying him up. The screen cut away to Ahuizotl laughing manically as Discord was locked in an over elaborate death trap that probably would've raised the game's rating if the screen didn't cut to Ahuizotl laughing manically as it activated. "KO! Ahuizotl wins!" Ahuizotl's kitten came up and was petted as Ahuizotl said "Next time it will be you, Daring Do!" "..." Discord stared. "...Lucky shot..." Session 35.9 Grogar-the-onser "Okay so we're all in agreement that while the dungeon in question, does belong to the Squizard, he is not in fact the ogre boss and is more of a third party." Twilight said. "Is that right?" "Yes," almost everyone agreed. "But-" "And that Rainbow for giving false information must lead the quest or pay the penalty for giving away false information." Twilight added "That the terms we agreed on, right Rainbow." Rainbow grumbled but nodded in agreement. Session 35.10 BrutalityInc When Discord teleported into the Friendship Castle, the Mane Six that were present found themselves somewhat confused – and disturbed – by the diabolically gleeful grin that he sported, and the maniacal laughter that came with it.   "I've done it!" Discord cheered, alternating between waving flags with ‘Discord #1!' and making it rain confetti and cigars everywhere inside the castle, "Take that, Chrysalis, you cheese-legged hag!"   "Well, someone is in a happy mood!" Pinkie Pie noted happily, picking up a cigar to sniff.   "Do mind if you share with us why you're in for a party?" Rainbow Dash queried.   "What's there to share about, darling? It's blatantly obvious the moment he mentioned Chrysalis why he's celebrating." Rarity interjected, "I take it that our ever chaotic fiend-and-friend has successfully removed Chrysalis' restraining order?"   "You bet, ma petite guimauve!" Discord confirmed, even as he snapped his claw and materialized plates of cake and candy on the game table for the Mane Six to share. Pinkie promptly dug right in, "You should had seen the look on her face when the hammer went down! It was priceless! I can show you the pictures I took too, if you want…"   "You can do it later." Twilight asked, stepping into the discussion, "I heard about the restraining order from Princess Celestia, as well as having some talks with Luna about it. They said that they'll help you get it removed, but what exactly did you do?"   "What did I do? Why, silly filly, I did the one thing that you sensible pony adults always do when faced with this sort of thing: I appealed! To the Court of Appeal in the Spheres Beyond!" Discord tapped his chin in thought, "Come to think of it, doing that wasn't as irritating to my chaotic sensibilities as I thought it would had been…"   "Really, you actually managed to sit through a whole day or whatever in courtroom?" Rainbow Dash asked incredulously.   "It wasn't my idea; it was that of Celestia's buddies in that immortals-and-deities-only-club they call the ‘Cosmic Council'." Discord explained, "According to Celly, after I told her and she told them, they clucked like hens for a while among themselves over what to do about it. Some of the gods went as far as suggesting an immediate full-scale strike against Chrysalis' hive, her mother's objections be damned, before she could put any plans to conquer Equestria, and the world, into motion; but they took the boring option in the end and settled for helping me taking it down in court."   "Really, how?" Rarity inquired.   "Well, apparently, they knew a very good lawyer in the Spheres Beyond…" Discord explained.   = = =   Hastur, the King in Yellow, the Unspeakable, son of Yog-Sothorse, the lord of Interstellar Space, the Watcher of Shepherds (At least in Carcosa), Ponythulhu's half-brother/arch-rival/mortal-enemy, and the founder/head of the Nameless Law Firm, gave a buzzing, echoing cough – or something that mortals can associate with a cough – and sorted through his notes with the tentacles poking out of his obscuring amber robes, before addressing the assembled eldritch beings in the twisted, maddening realm of alien geometries that served as the Court of Appeal in the Spheres Beyond.   "Now, your honour, and members of the jury," He began simply, in a voice and accent that could had driven most ponies insensate just by hearing it, "Let me begin by saying that my client does not dispute the fact that appellant ‘Queen Chrysalis' has some cause in applying for Cease-and-Desist against his person, to prevent him from stalking her or interfering with her plans in any way, shape or form in the near or far future, given the previous history of antagonism between the two, the apparent conflicts of interests, and admittedly mildly excessive pranking my client has performed on the appellant' person – something which my client has apologized for."   Discord, sitting on the defendants' table and wearing a mismatched coloured suit, was undecidedly unapologetic. He glared sideways at Dra-Gon and Ponythulhu, who largely ignored him.   "However, what my client like to dispute is the Cease and Desist Order, in its current form, is too vague in its definition of interference and too broad in its restrictions. Not only would it be legally unfair to my client and utterly unenforceable, it also poses potentially disastrous consequences for his universe."   At this proclamation, the court was stirred into chattering and discussion. Ponythulhu and Dra-Gon looked at each other, uncertain at what game the Unspeakable is playing at.   The aquatic horror raised a webbed claw as he interjected. "Objection! The original document is very clear and concise in terms of wording over the scope and form of its restrictions." He croaked.   "ObJeCTiOn SuStAInEd." The judge declared from its many varying orifices, hitting the dock with his hammer wielded by one of its many appendages, "tHE BuRDen oF pROof rEstS On ThE dEfEnSE tO ShOw thE CeAse And DeSISt aS UnFAiR aNd UnENfORCEaBLE."    "That I shall, your honour." The King in Yellow said. He pressed on, waving a copy of the original document, "Superficially, it would appear that the Cease and Desist Order is clear-cut in its restrictions, specifying that my client is forbidden to directly interfere with the appellant's schemes, or have any of his schemes incidentally interfering with her schemes, or assist entities who are interfering with her schemes, or interfere with entities who are pawns in her schemes, nor interfere with entities who are interfering with her schemes, or entities who are interacting with those who are part of her schemes."   "However, when one observes the fine print more closely." He continued, "One could discover that in each specific point, what constitutes as interference is very vague. To your honour and members of the jury, where, I ask, does interference ends and non-interference begins?"   "For example, my client has already informed the appellant's mother, as well as informing the Principality of Equestria's ruling Princesses of his Cease-and-Desist. All these individuals have expressed interest in either stopping the appellant's schemes to conquer Equestria, or know individuals who would and could stop said schemes, or at least expressed preference that she does not pursue said schemes; and would work against her, having been informed."   "There are no laws or provisions in the order that forbids him from informing others, yet would not the very act of merely TELLING others of this development constitute as indirect interference, or assisting in interference, having warned his allies to prepare to counter the appellant where he could not?" The King in Yellow ask, "And let's not forget, my client is bound by provisions of his parole to inform and assist Equestria's ruling divinities in stopping the schemes of other malignant entities."   "In effect, he would be forced into an impossible position where he must choose either obey the laws of the Spheres Beyond, or obey the laws of Equestria; to choose between being banished from his universe for 2 million years, or being turned to stone indefinitely. The C-D order, in that regard, would be legally unfair to my client, as he would suffer legal consequences either way… unless of course, that was the appellant's intention all along."   Eyes wide, Dra-Gon turned and said a few things in hushed tones to Ponythulhu, who then said aloud, "Objection! That was never the intent of the Cease-and-Desist Order, and the questions of legal fairness is questionable when the defendant is already a criminal on parole in Equestria for unlawful usurpation of mortal authority, gross negligence of his divine duties, crimes against sapients on a national scale, and harassment against multiple entities, including our client…"   "And the appellant Queen Chrysalis is by their world's objective standards a ruthless conqueror and dictator who has escaped culpability, and shown no remorse, for rampant abuse of civil and sapient rights, illegal slavery, unethical sentient experimentations, attempted assassinations, illegal violations of sovereign territories, war crimes and even multiple accounts of genocide." The King in Yellow retorted, "I would like to ask whether harassment by my client constitutes as a greater legal and moral outrage in comparison to these crimes committed by the appellant, but that's beside the point."   The King in Yellow continued, "A more important, if not the most important, point I would like to make about the C and D order itself is that it is unenforceable, when accounting for what my client actually represents. To begin, let us re-establish the fact that my client, the Draconequu Discord Apophis Typhon, is the Spirit of Chaos for his reality."   "Chaos, both as an abstract concept and physical reality, is a fundamental component in the makeup of reality, whether it is the transition of order to disorder, concordance to discordance, stability to instability, the loss of sanity to insanity, the perversity of the universe towards maximum, the entropic loss of energy in a closed system to do work in thermodynamics, the butterfly effect governing wild weather and quantum mechanics… even at his ‘worst', my client has never – and literally can't - sway from his element. And perhaps ironically, chaos has continued to work harmoniously with other aspects of reality to ensure its continued existence."   "Having re-established this, it should then be obvious that my client is more than just the flesh construct here in this court that I am representing: beyond his physical form, he continues to affect the entire world he currently resides in merely by existing as an ABSOLUTE PRINCIPLE OF NATURE. Which means, even if he sits in his own personal pocket dimension, doing nothing, while the appellant Queen Chrysalis enacts her schemes, the mere fact that he exists means that chaos continues to work as a force in the universe, which would inevitably affect her plans, introducing unpredictability and disorder that could result in the schemes being foiled – Finagle's/Murphy's Law, as the mortals in that universe has defined this as. However, despite the lack of intent, this would still be interpreted under the present provisions of the C-and-D order as interference."   "In addition, an absolute principle, by definition, means that when applied there can be NO EXCEPTIONS that rule. Just as 2 + 2 will, and MUST, always = 4 in all situations, without exception, chaos must affect all objects, entities and processes, without exception. The C-and-D, by forcing my client to not act directly or indirectly against the appellant, would make an exception of her and her schemes from being affected by chaos."   "In short, not only is it legally unfair to my client, whether not my client is forced to completely removed his influence from the universe, or forced to make an exception to Queen Chrysalis, or is banished from his reality as a result of being unable to comply with the C-and-D." The King in Yellow concluded, looking directly at the appellant's table, where Ponythulhu and Dra-Gon are, "Chaos could, and would, no longer be an absolute principle of nature, and would cease to be a fundamental aspect of reality. And without such an important component, his entire universe could very literally FALL APART!"   There were gasps of shock all around the court-room as the implications sink in. Discord's jaws literally hit the floor, as if he has forgotten about this somehow, despite being the incarnation of chaos. Dra-Gon looked horrified, and even the normally unfazed Ponythulhu has started to look worried; he has not considered this when he helped his client Chrysalis compile the C-D Order.   The King in Yellow would had smirked if he has anything resembling a normal mouth; it's always nice to see his arch-enemy half-brother sweat.   He kept up his momentum, "Continuing from my first example, the C-D order continues to be vague where it defines what constitutes as indirect interference; concerning restrictions on interfering with pawns, or those who are interacting with pawns of the appellant's schemes, again, where does it ends and begins? My client could be interacting or interfering, directly or indirectly, with someone who is later revealed to be an unwitting pawn of the appellant, or does not become a pawn until a later date and previous interference are sufficiently long-term enough to interfere with her plans. We cannot assume that my client, or even the pawns, would have reasonable knowledge of the pawns' status and role…"   = = =   "Of course, despite my lawyer poking all kinds of holes in the C-and-D, he said even the best he could hope to do is changing the conditions of the order to something less restrictive." Discord grumbled.   "Makes sense; from what I heard, the case for the restraining order is pretty water-tight." Twilight noted, "Still, it wasn't enough for you to simply making it less harsh, isn't it?"   "No, I wanted it REMOVED, and I made it very clear to my lawyer that is the ONLY outcome I would accept." Discord bleated, "The thing that finally got it off me, was when my lawyer says ‘Screw it!' and invoked Trial by Combat or Contest."   "Trial by Combat?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, incredulous, "That's a thing?"   "It used to be a thing back in ancient times with unicorns and griffons, and the dragons still does it to this day for certain disputes." Twilight explained, "It is usually done in the absence of evidence or witnesses for one or both parties. The problem with such method is that it always favours the side with the strongest fighter, or with the most money to hire the best duellist armed with the best equipment."   "However, it's also the only escape clause for me to get the restraining order completely off my back. Luckily, according to my lawyer, under the Multi-Dimensional Legality Act, which has provisions for Legal Pluralism, the Spheres Beyond courts acknowledges up to 8.5 BILLION different legal systems from many planes intersecting the metaverse, Trial by Combat included." Discord explained, "Needless to say, I jumped at the chance immediately and have a representative play for me against Chrysalis' representative in a contest of the invoker's choosing."   "What contest did you choose?" Fluttershy asked.   Discord beamed a smile. "Why, playing a game that I planned to introduce to you all today!"   Discord took out a box from somewhere and laid it onto the table. Its cover showed a giant, spider-like mecha-robot, facing off a towering, grotesque monster that looked right out of a Lovecoltian cosmic horror story. And the title…   "‘PONY RESOURCES', a strategy game for two or more players?" Rarity read.   "Basic premise is this: As a machine apocalypse rages across the world, desperate pony mages summoned the ‘Ancient Ones', hoping to use them as a countermeasure to the robots." Discord shrugged, "Needless to say, it turned out to be a VERY bad idea. Now the two factions are fighting each other for the control of the world, with both sides harvesting the hapless ponies caught in the crossfire for their own purposes."   "Sounds like something right up your alley." Twilight commented, looking disgusted and with disapproval at what she read from the manual, "I can get that the Ancient Ones would either eat the ponies or use them as living sacrifices to their eldritch gods, but what could the Machines do with ponies?"   "Well, maybe something along the lines of using their brains as Wetware CPUs, or biological power-supplies like in that Mainframe movie…" Discord muttered, ignoring the confused looks by the others.   "I heard about this! Wasn't it cancelled because the game creators didn't get enough money on Buckstarter to get development started?" Rainbow Dash asked, "So how did you use the game to win the Trial by Combat/Contest? You aren't exactly the best game player by any stretch…"   "Well if you MUST know," Discord said irritably, "I made a few one-time deals with the guardians of the Plane of Non-Existence to get it out, then call in a favour in Ponyville to get myself the best possible champion to play against Chrysalis' own…"   = = =   The changelings present in the contest chamber collectively winced as they watched, on a magical projection, the monster armies of the Ancient Ones laying down the hurt on the mechas of the Machine faction that they are playing as.   "You incompetent IMBECILES!" Queen Chrysalis ranted angrily, watching her imminent defeat unfold, "You are my generals! Commanders of my conquering legions, masters of tactics and strategies, superior warriors to all other cattle races in every way! How in my Mother's name are you losing to some 8 YEARS OLD BRAT?!"   General Pincer, one of the best and most popular commanders in Chrysalis' hive (And therefore can't simply be disposed of if he failed her), turned from the rest of the Changeling commanders playing the game and shook his head sadly, "With all due respect, your majesty, we're masters of war, not masters of GAMING. And this ‘brat', no, PONY… he's no ordinary gamer!"   For his part, Button Mash, Discord's champion in this Trial by Combat/Contest, is having the time of his life.   = = =   "Of course, Queen Chrysalis was planning to appeal against my appeal, but apparently some of her sisters persuaded her not to, somehow." Discord added, "But anyways, enough chit-chat about my newfound freedom from legal responsibility! Let us celebrate with a little robot-v-cosmic-horror, shall we?" Session 35.11 Alex Warlorn "Just one question." Twilight asked. "Yesssss?" Discord grinned. "Did you replicate yourself so you could double-date Celestia and Fluttershy again?" "... I swear I didn't replicate myself so I could double-date Celly and Fluttershy again." - "For illegal use of magic during their match, Team Appleloosa is suspended this season, their win shall be given to Team Swarm, who will advance. This decision is final and may not be appealed nor overruled." The gavel came down with a slam. - The changeling emperor found himself in a jar in interstellar space, and the gar was being held by Discord in a Hawaiian shirt taking photos. "Long time no see Love Poison Boy. I thought you should know. Secret societies and communities have a bad habit of falling apart in this world. Ask Bon Bon, Starlight Glimmer, and the DJ. You best make yourself known on your terms, or you'll end up known a way you don't like. Not because of me, or anypony, it'll just happen sooner or later. Tootles!" The changeling emperor awake in his bed. - "Thank you Lulu." "Do not ever call us that, 'Dissy.' We did this for his subjects, not you Discord. My thestrals suffered in isolation because of similar policies. I'm sick of watching history repeat itself. But unless he does it willingly, the fates will rip the world apart." "Yeah yeah, I know. Also, some unnamed horrors will find having to withdraw and relocate troops." "Discord, what did you do?" "Oh nothing, just told them that if they felt like invading happy sugar coated worlds, I knew another one they could try on for size." - "TROOPS! READY! AIM! CARE-BEAR-STARE!!!" "Run! Run! For Abyss' sake ru-AAAGGGHH!" - "Guess it was too big for their pant size." - Meanwhile, in Canterlot a changeling Queen and her infiltrators, were continuing to cater a seemingly endless stream of ponies claiming to afflicted by hexes, jinxes, and curses such as getting a pimple or their girlfriend dumping them. All of whom would ask way too many questions if the stop just shut down or burned down. "My Queen! You said this was a one time farce for one pony!" "It was!" The Queen cried out in dismay. "Hi!" Cheered a young zebra with an ink drawing voodoo mask for a cutie mark. "I'm your new intern! I can't wait to learn everything I can from you about proper caring of bewitched equines!" "AAAAGH!" The disguised changeling queen cried out. (HAPPY 5TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY PONY POV SERIES!) Session 35.12 Kendell2 Suddenly, Discord's hip vibrated and he produced a pager. "Button Mash wants me..." Discord said. "...Let me guess, you had to promise his mother something for her to allow him to be your champion against Queen Chrysalis?" Luna questioned. Discord gave an annoyed sigh. "Yes...His mother made me promise him I'd owe him a wishes in proportion to how well he did in the game, and that I can't be a 'jerkflank genie' about it...Don't judge me! That mare's 'disapproving mother' stare rivals Fluttershy's Stare!...Now that I've actually got enough empathy to CARE..." "Oh? How many do you owe him?" Discord whispered in her ear. Luna actually chuckled. "Really? How did THAT happen?" The spirit of chaos grumbled. "I underestimated his gaming ability...well, I'll be back..." --- "Okay, admittedly, this is kind of fun..." Discord admitted, sitting in a lounge chair as Button Mash, dressed in a green tunic with a green hat and swinging a sword in his mouth fought an army of monsters with an ornate sword in his mouth while Sweetie Belle, dressed like a Princess, used a rapier and golden magic to do the same. Diamond Tiara, who looked like a black and white imp with a strange crown on her head that covered one eye, road Silver Spoon (who was now a very large wolf) into battle while Scootaloo flew over with a Naginata and slashed into the enemies. Applebloom was a huge pony made of rock wielding a hammer and bashed her way through the army of monsters. Session 35.13 Ardashir "So, girls!" Twilight smiled to see Applejack and Fluttershy entering the cutie map room. "How did your trip to Las Pegasus go? I guess you solved the friendship problem?" "Shore did," Applejack said. Twilight's smile slipped as her friend said, "Ah hadda help those two sidewinders Flim and Flam ta do it, though. An' then they cheated everypony at th' casino, an' rode halfway back on the train with us!" Applejack sighed and slumped. "Ah think it coulda gone better. It was awful nice of ya ta send Spike on ahead ta meet us with some travelin' money in case we got in trouble." "I'm surprised you trusted him to meet us at Las Pegasus." Fluttershy stretched her wings. "He's still just a little dragon." "He was old enough to handle meeting other dragons on his own. And he said he always wanted to see Las Pegasus. Speaking of that, where is Spike?" Twilight looked around. "I thought he'd be coming right back." "Oh, he's on his way here," Fluttershy flew to the window and looked back. "I suppose he had to change out his winnings." "Well, if he had to ---" Twilight blinked. "Wait, his winnings? What happened?" Applejack and Fluttershy looked at each other and in unison gave Twilight nervous smiles. Twilight scowled. "What trouble did he get into in Las Pegasus?" "Well?" Applejack took off her hat and furrowed her brow. "Accordin' ta him, it was more like on the way back." *** Spike strolled down from the first car, leaving Applejack and Fluttershy to get some rest. As he went back he frowned at what he heard coming from the door leading to the next car. "Come on, lucky nine! Nina from Pasadena! Daddy Flim needs a new set of horseshoes!" "Huh?" Spike looked around the door. "Hey, what's going on?" He blinked to see Flim and Flam surrounded by four or five other ponies, all of them looking dismayed as they threw their bits down in the middle of a circle they formed around a blanket. On the blanket were two small dice. "Oh, are you guys playing a game? Can I join in?" "A game? Yes, it's a game." Flim rolled his eyes. "Now kid, if you don't mind..." His eyes bulged as they caught sight of the small bag Spike held, and the gleam of gold and gems from within it. "Um, on second thought, Flam, let's let the little fellow play." "Sure ya can join in, sonny," Flam said. "Did you ever play dice?" "Yeah, with Ogres and Oubliettes, we use them all the time." Spike looked at the two six-siders. "But we never played like this." "Heh!" Flim winked at Flam. "Oh, well, I'll show you how to play this game. It's called 'craps'." Spike nodded and Flim showed the dragon the dice. "There's numbers on these dice from one to six. You roll them out on the blanket and if you get a six and a one, that's a natural. you win. A four and a three, that's a natural. You win." Spike scratched his scaly head. "Wait, you just win with this game?" "No, you do lose sometimes," Flam said. He showed Spike the dice. "Yes, once in a while. If you roll a two and a one, that's craps. You lose. If you roll two sixes, that's craps. You lose." "In other words?" Spike's eyes went wide as at some great revelation. "You can win and you can lose." "That's right. That's all there is to it." Flim offered Spike the dice. "Now is that simple?" He and Flam exchanged smug grins. "Still want to play?" Spike nodded and took the dice. "Now, roll them on the blanket," Flam said. "Okay," Spike said, and rolled them. Up came a four and a three. "Hey, I win! Uhhh," he gave the conponies a curious look. "What do I win?" "Nothing." Flim said. At Spike's downcast look he patted the dragon on the back. "Now, you don't want to win nothing. So we'll put some money on it just to make it interesting." He set some bits down. "Hey, Twilight doesn't like it when I gamble. She said it was morally corrupting or something." Spike frowned. "If she learned about this she'd put soap in my mouth." "Oh now, call it bingo night," Flam waved one hoof in dismissal. "Every old mare in Equestria plays bingo. All right. Put your money down." He and Flim exchanged sly looks as Spike dropped a handful of bits onto the blanket. "Just remember, seven you win, craps you lose." "Okay!" Spike picked up the dice again. "Here I go." He covered his eyes and threw. He looked and cheered. "WHEE! SEVEN! I WIN!!!" He grabbed for the bits, only to stop as Flim and Flam snatched his claws in their magic. "Now hold on, kid!" Flim shook his head. "You don't just pick that up right now. Not right away. You pick it up eventually." Spike looked doubtful but left the bits sit. The conponies heaved sighs of relief. "You know, let it pile up a bit." "Until it reaches my chin?" Spike asked hopefully. "And then I can have it picked up with a truck." Flam coughed, it sounded oddly like a laugh. "Hey, sonny, pick it up however you like. How much do you want to shoot for now?" "Oh, just fade it." "WHAT?!?" Flim and Flam snorted in fury. Spike looked shocked as they yelled, "What's this 'fade that'? You said you never played this game!" "Did I say something wrong?" Spike asked innocently. "No! You said it too darn right." Flam gave Spike a dirty look. "You sure you didn't play before?" Flim asked, suspicious. "Well.." Spike sighed. "Okay, when Twilight's brother was training for the Guard, sometimes I visited, and they had dice like these and rolled them in the barracks at night and said all sorts of words Princess Celestia told me never to repeat. One of them was 'fade that'." "Well," Flam muttered. He picked the dice up and handed them to Spike. "I guess it's okay. Remember, seven you win, craps you lose." Once more Spike covered his eyes, rolled the dice, and a seven lay before everyone's eyes. "Hah! Let it ride! I heard that in the barracks!" He shouted the last as Flim and Flam started towards him in a fury. "No more tricks or lies!" Flam grabbed Spike and held him before his eyes. He put the dice into Spike's claws. "Roll those dice and no funny stuff!" Spike did so again. "Huh, five and six. Eleven. Is that any good?" "Uhh, no, not at all!" Flim picked up the dice and examined them. "I don't even know why they have those numbers on the dice. But go ahead, we'll be nice and give you another chance." He watched as Spike did. "Well, a four." "Well, hello, Little Joe!" Spike immediately ducked a hoof swipe from Flam. "Barracks!" "Okay," Flam said, ears pinned. "Now! You roll a seven before you roll another four, you lose! Go ahead and roll them." He and Flim grinned as a three came up. "Hah! You lose!" "What!" Spike blinked and looked at the dice. "How did I lose?" "You rolled a three, didn't you?" Flim said. Spike nodded, looking confused. Flam added, "And you rolled a four first. Now what's four and three? Seven! So you lose!" They hurriedly snatched up the small pile of bits and gems. Neither failed to notice that Spike had far more in that pouch. "I didn't know we added them up," Spike sounded morose. "Well, you do the way we play it," Flim set all the money they had down. "Now we'll play for everything." He handed the dice over to Flam, who kissed them first. "A smooch for Lady Luck! And!" He rolled the dice and eleven came up. He snatched at the money, only to bring his hoof back with a yelp as Spike slapped it. "Hey, eleven don't count, remember?" The dragon looked indignant. Flim and Flam stepped forward, ready to argue, until they saw how the other ponies watched were glaring at them. They backed down grinning weakly as Spike said, "You were nice to me so I'll be nice to you so I'll give you another chance." "Fine," Flim grumbled. He tossed the dice and got a six. "Alright! Now six is my number. And..." He threw the dice and another six came up. Spike yelled in victory and grabbed everything on the blanket. "SIX AGAIN! YOU LOSE! YOU LOSE! YOU LOSE!" "I don't lose!" Flim shook his hoof under the dragon's nose. "I got my point!" "Oh yeah?" Spike pointed at the dice. "What did you roll first? Six! What did you just roll? Another six!" "Well, yeah, but --" Flam began, but Spike's sheering drowned him out. "Six and six is twelve. CRAPS, BOXCARS, BIG BENNIES!!!" Spike stuck his tongue out at the two conponies. "You lose!" The first Applejack and Fluttershy knew about it was when they saw a cheering Spike with a blanketful of bits and gems come racing back into the car with a snorting Flim and Flam hot on his scaly tail. *** "I hope Spike isn't in any trouble, we had to call the Guard to make Flim and Flam settle down." "Trouble for what?" Spike asked as he walked into the room, bearing a bouquet of expensive Crystal Empire roses. "I was going to give these to Rarity," he said in response to the stares. "And oh, by the way, Twilight, thanks for letting me read all that book in the old library by Warning Word, VICES UNKNOWN TO EQUESTRIA AND HOW TO MASTER THEM." Session 35.14 Mtangalion "Whoa!" exclaimed Scootaloo, as she swerved her scooter to avoid the structure that had sprung up just outside Ponyville, seemingly overnight. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nearly got tossed right off. "Where did this come from?" "It looks like a giant house of cards," said Sweetie Belle. She poked at a big piece of cardboard with a tree painted on it, and it floated right back into place. There was a whole wall of those tree cards, creating a sort of pretend forest maze. Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes, glaring at the two stallions who'd set up some kind of ticket counter at the entrance. "Oh, Ah think Ah'm gettin' a pretty good idea where it came from!" Flim tisked as they approached. "Such a sour face for those cute little cheeks!" "You should be kinder to ponies who are down on their luck, as we most assuredly are!" said Flam. Flim stamped a hoof. "Since *some* dragon made off with our travelling bits before we could abscond with his. The nerve!" Sweetie Belle blinked at the big sign they'd put up. "Flim and Flam's Mystical LARPing Mayhem, 10 bit entry fee." Her eyes widened. "Regular sword, 4 bit rental... deluxe sword +1, special this week only 10 bits? Lightning bolt spell, 1 bit per casting? Equipment repairs, 2 bits per durability point restored?!" Scootaloo hopped up on the counter and glared right at Flim. "Who the hay would pay that much to run around a field yelling 'pew, pew!' ?!" Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came trotting out of the maze, decked out in foam rubber 'armor' and 'weapons.' "Did you see that?!" exclaimed Diamond Silver was nodding enthusiastically. "When you charged right at that ogre boss and bopped him on the head?" Diamond grinned. "And then you cast Meteor and blew them away!" "Ten bits, but it was totally worth it!" Silver hoofbumped with Diamond, and only then did they realize that the original Crusaders were staring at them. "Um..." Apple Bloom sighed. "Diamond, were you keeping track of how many bits y'all were spending in there?" Diamond grinned. "That's easy. We spent..." She looked at Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie, the exact figure on the tip of her tongue, and then her face fell. "Oh. Well... I can pay for all of us to play! That's a good thing to do for friends, right?" Silver Spoon adjusted her glasses. "Or, we could all go play in my bouncy castle and shout 'pew pew!' all we want for free." She smiled. "That thing is boring with only one filly bouncing in it, anyway." Scootaloo grinned. "Sounds like a great idea!" "Now wait just a minute!" cried Flim, as the fillies all piled onto the one scooter somehow and left them in the dust. "A new sale started just this very moment! Blast it..." Flam took off his hat and tossed it at the ground. "And microtransactions seemed like such a brilliant idea!" Session 35.15 Grogar-the-onser "... Why are you still glaring at me Twilight?" spike ask. "We're visiting my mother and telling her what you did," Twilight said. "WHAT!? Why?" "I let you read those books so you wouldn't do stuff like gambling!" Twilight said annoyed. "Really? 'Cause they had the opposite effect, I mean-" Spike stopped as Applejack and Fluttershy signal him to stop digging his own grave. Twilight uses her magic to pry the flowers from Spike and give it to Fluttershy. "You can have Fluttershy deliver the flowers but for the most part we're seeing my mom. And having a long talk about avoiding what you did, as soon as I find my cue cards." Spike eyes turn to pinprick as he shouted, "NO!!!!" +++ "What ho, brother, I think I can hear that scaly swindler getting a taste of the terror we suffered from weeks ago," Flim said. "You mean the mare who 'tortured' us about the portal thing?" Flam asked. "The same, I almost want to pity the lad," Flim said as he eyed the considerable money loss from that game of craps. "Almost..." Session 35.16 Mtangalion Gilda the griffon swooped in from her long flight, perched on a high ridge, and drew in a deep breath of fresh morning air. "Ah, Ponyville!" she rasped, looking over the sprawling sleepy village, apple fields and eyesore crystal castle and all. "This town is crazy, but it least it isn't a pile." Gilda patted her grumbling belly with a claw. "Heh, I could murder a jelly doughnut right now." She glided right on down towards Sugarcube Corner, brazenly landing in the middle of the street in her usual way, as if daring some pony to make something of it. A purple earth pony with three flowers on her flank gave the griffon a cheerful wave, not jumping in fright or spilling her shopping bags at all. "Good morning, Gabby... Oh! You're not..." She bowed. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me. Good morning, Gilda, I should say!" Gilda watched Cheerilee walk past, blinking. "Do I know you? Eh, whatever." She padded on into Sugarcube Corner, her second favorite place for eats and now the home of her part-time job too, and she immediately had to step aside so that freaky white bodybuilding pegasus could reach the door. Bulk Biceps' face lit up comically, seeing her. "HEY!! Is it a good morning, or is it a good morning?!" Gilda tensed. "Uh, I guess?" "YEAH!!" he roared. "Put 'er there!" Gilda lifted a claw, trying not to yelp, but the stallion just tapped her claw with his hoof considerately, not punching her through a wall at all. She was still trying to figure that one out when the Cake twins latched onto her. "Gwiffon!" squealed Pumpkin Cake, hugging her tail and drooling on it a little. "Gwiffon!" echoed Pound Cake, landing right on her head and nuzzling happily. "Okay, this is freaking me out a bit," rasped Gilda. "Pinkie, is this one of your games?" Speak of the devil... Pinkie Pie sprang up from behind the sales counter like a griff-in-the-box. "Heehee, not that I know of!" She pulled a camera out of nowhere. "Don't you dare!" hissed Gilda. The camera flash put stars in her eyes. Mrs. Cup Cake trotted in and gently disentangled her foals from Gilda. "Sorry about that, dearie. They just had so much fun playing with Gabby the other day." Gilda seethed. "Who the b..." The twins suddenly looked right at her, adorable innocent ears pricked up, and once again Gilda had to remind herself that having a decent job and bits to spend was worth a little of her dignity. "Who the heck is Gabby?" "Gabby? Oh, she was amazing in the kitchen!" said Pinkie enthusiastically. "She was even... almost as good as you, Gilda, and she said it was only her first time too, say Gilda do you want to help me fry up the funnel cakes, I know it's not your day to work until tomorrow but Gabby had such a fun time helping out and maybe you'd have a fun time too!" She stopped and sucked in a huge breath, like a balloon being inflated from a gas cylinder. "Gee, lemme think," mused Gilda. "How about *no*." She jingled a few bits in her claw. "Just give me some of those jelly doughnuts..." "I just don't know what's got into this town," Gilda was grumbling to herself a little later, padding down a street while tearing strips off a doughnut and gulping them down. "More than what got into it already." She paused to watch a construction site, where two unfamiliar griffons were holding a steel beam while a big earth pony riveted it in place, all of them wearing hardhats. Ah right, that new Ponyville construction company. Apparently, business was booming. "It's gotta be that Gabby character!" Gilda heard hoofsteps approach from behind, followed by a surprised and slightly fearful gasp. Now that was more like it! Repressing a grin, she said, "Yeah, whatta you want?" without looking back. "I want to apologize," said a familiar voice with unaccustomed confidence. Now Gilda did turn her head in surprise. "Fluttershy?" It was Fluttershy alright, complete with a tasty-looking white bunny riding on her head. "When Miss Gabby helped out with my animals, and I made friends with her so easily, I realized... I never really gave you a chance, even after you apologized... um, for scaring me." She hung her head, her long mane half-hiding her face. "I even gave Discord more of a chance than you, so... let's start again!" She perked up, holding out a hoof. "Friends?" Gilda wanted to slap that hoof aside and roar in Fluttershy's face all over again. The nerve of her, that cowardly cutesy-critter-loving wuss! Friends? As if! But those crazy mares were all friends with each other. Pinkie Pie would be sad if Gilda told Fluttershy off. Princess purple-pants would be disappointed, Discord might turn Gilda into a plucked chicken, and Dash would be *furious.* Gilda suddenly felt like an jackass... no offense to jackasses. Had she really changed at all? "Uh, sure... why not?" she said at last, clasping Fluttershy's hoof as if it might bite her. Fluttershy beamed. "Thank you so much, Gilda! I need to go get the help-wanted ads for my brother, but maybe we'll meet again soon!" Gilda watched her disappear around a corner, then snarled, yanking on her crest feathers. "Somebody tell me it's Opposite Day, and I didn't get the memo! Griffons aren't supposed to be nice and helpful! Griffons don't say good morning! We are fierce... badflank... totally cool... viscous predators!" A rock guitar growled, underscoring her fury! Gilda blinked, and looked over her shoulder. Octavia handed the rock guitar back to Vinyl Scratch. "I'm sorry. It's just not me." "I kinda miss that," said one of the construction griffons, speaking up unexpectedly. He shrugged his wings. "On the other claw, it's kinda nice, them not shaking in their horseshoes like a bunch of pansies all the time." "Heh, yeah," said the other one, fanning her face with her hardhat. "Why, that Tree Hugger dame and her flower pals even agreed to stop protesting the meat restaurant, after Gabby set her straight." Gilda's eyes narrowed. "And where can I find this 'Gabby'?" "That's easy," said the construction forepony. "I saw her flying out by Rainbow Dash's house." "What!?" Gilda sprang into the air, pumping her wings to pick up speed fast. She found Dash standing on the ground beneath her cloud house, oddly, surrounded by large boxes and packages, and talking with a rather young bluish-gray griffon hen. Gilda landed with a thump. "Et tu, Dashie!?" The other griffon saw her and *gasped*, alarmingly like Pinkie Pie. Oh no, Gilda barely had time to think, before the other griffon was right in her face, shaking her claw. "Oh my gosh!!" she gushed, flapping her beak nonstop. "Gilda, you're my hero and you're really here and I'm really getting to really meet you, I'm Gabby, that's short for Gabriella Griffon from Griffonstone but please call me Gabby, and I deliver the mail and now I do a little bit of everything and I've made so many new friends and got my own cutie mark sort of and it's so awesome!" She threw her claws in the air. "And I'd love to be your friend too!" "Whoa whoa whoa," said Gilda, pushing Gabby back a step. "What the hay is all this?" "Oh, hey Gilda," said Dash. "Gabby was just about to help me move these boxes upstairs." Gabby clasped her claws, dancing from paw to paw. "Ooh, ooh, when can we get started?" "Excuse me!" bellowed Gilda. "Dash is *my* best friend since forever, and if any griffon is gonna help her out, it's gonna be me!" She marched right over to a box, tried to pick it up, and nearly fell over, not expecting it to be so heavy. "Ugh, what gives?" "Sorry, G, should have warned you. The Wonderbolts wanted me to have my own home gym." Rainbow grinned. "You know, I really appreciate you two helping out. I could totally move all those boxes myself, but..." She flapped her wings, blushing slightly. "It'd take a lot of rest breaks. I'm kinda built for speed, not lifting." Gabby put a forelimb around Gilda, making her flinch. "Don't worry, Dashie!" Gilda flinched harder. "I'm sure if we work together..." "Oh, you wanna make this a competition, huh?" shouted Gilda. "You think you can lift more than me? I can carry twice as much as you!" Gabby giggled. "Well, probably, since I'm not full grown yet, but the point is to have fun helping out!" "Are you *sure* you're a griffon?" asked Gilda, as they were lifting the first giant box up to the cloud house together. Dash lingered on the ground, and Princess Twilight appeared next to her in a teleport flash. "I have to admit," said Twilight, floating ten bits over to Dash. "I was sure this was going to end with Gilda flying off in a jealous rage, or needing a timeout in my castle basement." Dash grinned, rolling the coins along her wing showily before dropping them into a bit pouch. "You mean, the Friendship Dungeon?" "It's not a..." Twilight took a deep breath and counted to five. "The point is, I didn't believe you when you said it was cool and you could handle it, but..." She smiled. "You and Gilda have surprised me yet again. What if this doesn't last, though? What if Gilda snaps and starts kicking puppies to get her reputation back?" Dash stretched, getting ready to go help the griffons. "Gilda's my best friend, so I'll do the best I can for her... but it still might be a little touch and go. Want to make another bet?" Session 35.17 Kendell2 "So, what do you think of the reboot movie they're making, Dashie?" asked Pinkie Pie, the girls back in the Pony Rangers comic book word. This time they were in the third season's Ninja Megaponyzord fighting a replica of the second season's Thunder Megaponyzord (everypony agreed it was the right kind of cheesy back then, but then Pony Rangers Super Mega Force overdid it and made it laughable) in a storyline where the big bad made evil versions of the Rangers (comic exclusive). "Honestly? I'm just glad it's bucking COLORFUL," Rainbow Dash replied, commanding the mecha to punch the evil replica. "I mean I can handle dark stuff, to a point, but when it comes to Pony Rangers it'd be WRONG if they were all so dark you can't tell which Ranger is which!" Their mecha got slashed by the Thunder Megaponyzord and was staggered back. "Let's hope they don't all have the same personality, or else we're gettin' Batmare v Superstallion again," Applejack replied. "Hey, the special edition made that better!" "But did it fix everything?" Applejack questioned. "Girls, I think this is the part where Starlight calls in her zord," said Twilight's voice over the intercom. "Oh, right..." said Starlight replied, then cleared her throat. "White Falcon Pony Zord!" As the giant mechanical falcon flew in, Fluttershy looked to Starlight. "I'm surprised you like Pony Rangers." "I like that the Rangers are supposed to be a team equals," Starlight replied. "Red is leader, but ultimately they're all important, that appealed to me."