Wily's Wittle Wub

by Tatsurou


10: Absurdity

"So, what Robot Master are we closest to now?" Mega Man asked Prometheus. "And what are their abilities?"

"Next up would be...Sheep Man," Prometheus explained after consulting the data file he'd downloaded. "He's a weather control Robot Master designed to...herd sheep."(1)

"What?" Bass demanded flatly. "Just what kind of sheep need to be herded with lightning bolts?"

Mega Man shrugged. "Robotic sheep?" he offered innocently.

"What the heck is the point of robot sheep?" Bass countered angrily.

"...high quality synthetic wool?"

Bass stared at Mega Man, seething rage in his eyes. "And why, pray tell, wouldn't such robotic sheep be programmed to herd themselves?"

"Because then Sheep Man would be out of a job?" Mega Man postulated whimsically.

With a scream of inarticulate fury, Bass lunged for the Blue Bomber, only for Prometheus to grab the fin-helmeted battle bot by the scruff of his neck to haul him up short. "You haven't shown enough symptoms for this to be Roboenza," Prometheus chided, "so keep your temper under control."

"I'll be perfectly controlled once I've throttled that idiot for ten minutes!" Bass snapped out.

Prometheus gave him a glare.

"He's a robot!" Bass growled in protest. "He'll be fine."

Prometheus thought about that for a time. "...five minutes."

"Deal!"

"What?" Mega Man gasped out. "What do you-GYAK!"

Prometheus carefully watched the clock.


Exactly five minutes later, the trio beamed into the structure that the berserk Sheep Man had turned into his base. Mega Man and Bass were still trading glowers, so Prometheus led the way past more of the same enemies, through green walled halls, and over sections of colored blocks that vanished in color groups shortly after anyone stepped on them.

The path through the structure remained straightforward, and the three working together were able to plow their way through the enemies, and moving quickly kept them ahead of the vanishing blocks. The next new obstacle were platforms that could only be raised to stand on by running on a treadmill, which was also easily dealt with.

The guardian of the structure proved to be a giant light bulb robot hooked up to treadmills that caused it to light up, which was the only time it could be damaged. It also released smaller floating light bulb bots that seemed to swim through the air towards the group. Bass focused on taking out those, while Mega Man ran on a treadmill. When the bulb became illuminated, platforms revealed themselves. For a better shooting angle to not interfere with Bass, Prometheus hopped up the platforms and shattered the main bulb with a fully charged shot, opening the path further into the building.

Beyond there, a long sequence of disappearing blocks blocked the path. "...any reason we can't call in Rush and Treble to carry us across?" Mega Man asked curiously.

"They might get infected," Bass pointed out bluntly.

"Fair enough," Mega Man admitted, resigned.

The only other new obstacle were drones shaped like mouse cursors that created hard light images of blocks that flew at the group, but they proved to be exceptionally fragile, proving no real obstacle to the group. This left the path clear for them to enter the chamber Sheep Man awaited them in. He was a sheep shaped Robot Master with white wool and yellow horns...or at least, that was as much as the trio were able to see before he burst into four clouds to shoot lightning at them.

"So, he herds sheep?" Bass clarified.

"Yup," Prometheus confirmed.

"Like a sheepdog?"

"Yup."

"Think he'll chase a ball?"

Deciding to give it a try, Mega Man hurled a Rebound Striker, the weapon they'd gotten from Strike Man. The ball ricocheted off a couple walls and nearly took Sheep Man's head off on impact.

Bass and Prometheus immediately switched weapons.


With the Thunder Wool weapon in tow, the trio decided to go after Pump Man next. Being a Robot Master that dealt with high volumes of water, it was presumed he might be vulnerable to high levels of electricity.

Pump Man had based himself in the sewers, forcing the trio to slog their way through sludge to make it to him. Despite the few new enemy types moving about the sewers, the sludge and endless water flow proved to be the biggest obstacle for the trio, as it limited their movement capabilities far more than any danger from the drone bots themselves. Not to mention, it stank to high heaven.

"Okay, after this guy, we are going back to the lab for a full decontamination," Mega Man grumbled, not surprised that no one gainsaid him.

When a path split offered them a choice between going into the water or staying above, none hesitated to take the upper path, blasting their way past the drones that fought them to make it to where Pump Man awaited them. He was a dark blue Robot Master that looked like he'd been built out of a water pump. He generated a shield of bubbles around himself as he leapt towards them...only for the lightning of the Thunder Wool the three released to tear through both shield and Pump Man's energy reserves almost dangerously fast, leaving the bot a smoking wreck.

"Four down," Mega Man grunted. "And I need a shower desperately."

"Have you got spares?" Bass asked hopefully.

"There are eight robot showers back in Light's Lab," Prometheus stated flatly.

Bass turned to stare at Mega Man. "Why are they specifically 'robot showers'?" he asked coldly.

"Because they use streams of high pressure water that robotic superstructure and synthoflesh can handle, but would severely injure humans," Mega Man explained directly.

Bass blinked for a few moments. "Oh. Fair enough."

The group downloaded the Water Shield weapon, and then promptly beamed out to get their hoped for showers.



(1) In canon, Sheep Man was meant to just herd sheep until Wily modified him to have lightning based combat abilities. The following conversation derived from justifying that ability in the present situation. ...I may have enjoyed writing it a little too much.