They ventured towards the Town Hall, remaining quiet so as to not cause a scene. Ponies inside were listening as Mayor Mare told some story or other about Equestrian history, and Josh briefly wondered what was going on.
“-and to this day, nopony knows quite what happened to them. They could be anywhere – even right outside this door,” the mayor finished with a little laugh.
Ponies turned towards the door, where Josh and Ben were waiting, and gasped in shock as they caught sight of the two massive silhouettes in the doorway, the closer ones shying away.
“Um, hi,” Josh introduced himself, aware that what must have been the entire town of Ponyville was staring at him. “We just got here… what’s with all the nighttime activity?” he wondered aloud, hoping they wouldn’t just attack him on sight and trying very hard not to swear like he normally did. He chanced a look over at Ben, who simply looked faint.
“Are we having some kind of party?” he pressed on, faltering slightly as the ponies continued to simply stare at the pair of them.
“YES!” a familiar, high-pitched voice shouted from near the front, and Pinkie Pie zipped forth, making use of eye-straining cartoon physics to instantly appear before the two. “Omigosh! Wowee, what are you? You’re so tall, and you know what a party is! You must be aliens from outer space! Are you ammph!” Pinkie finished as a glow of purple magic forced her mouth shut.
Twilight Sparkle, wings in place and a curious frown on her face, trotted up to examine the pair of them. “Humans…” she whispered.
“Um. Yeah. We’re human. We got… transported into the Ev – the forest outside of town, yesterday. Do you know what’s going on?” Ben asked nervously. Twilight might have barely come up to their waist, but this was the same mare that had taken on creatures the size of skyscrapers without so much as breaking a sweat. She could easily take them apart if she so desired.
Twilight slowly shook her head. “If you mean what brought you here… I have no idea. The Everfree Forest is a strange place… maybe some magical surge teleported you here… but from where?” she pondered, lost in thought.
“Uh, Twi? Don’t get distracted, now. These ‘humans’ don’t look in the best of shape… which is ta be expected, coming out of the Everfree,” Applejack spoke up. She trotted up to get a better look at them, adjusting her Stetson cowboy hat as she gave their tattered, soaked clothes and unkempt appearances a once-over. "Ya'll aren't actually gonna attack us, right? Only, what with all the bad stuff comin' outta the Everfree..." Applejack trailed off.
Josh quickly shook his head. "No, no, we're friendly. We won't hurt you," he promised. Applejack looked at him for a moment, then smiled, grabbing his hoof with her hand and shaking it vigorously. "Well, then, howdy and pleased to meetcha! My name's Applejack, I run Sweet Apple Acres - that's the apple farm down the road," she introduced.
"Nice to meet you, Applejack. I'm Josh, and this is Ben," Josh returned, wincing as Applejack finally let go.
Twilight, who had been watching, shook her head free of whatever theories she had been coming up with, and smiled sheepishly at them. “Right… well… let’s get you a bath and something fresh to wear. I know how you ‘humans’ are with clothes,” she cheerfully remarked, leading the two away from the Town Hall with Applejack and Pinkie close behind.
“Thanks, I was worried about that. These things are falling apart,” Ben muttered, pulling at his clothing.
Twilight giggled. “I’ll have Rarity whip something up for you. She’s another friend of mine, and a really good seamstress," Twilight remarked. "That reminds me, I should introduce you to my friends! You already know Applejack," Twilight began.
"That's my name, don't wear it out," Applejack chuckled, tipping her hat in greeting.
“And this is Pinkie Pie. She’s… really excited about meeting new people,” Twilight explained, finally ceasing her flow of magic across Pinkie’s mouth.
Pinkie took a huge breath of air, and then smiled up at Josh. “Hi! Do you like parties?” she asked.
Josh shrugged. “Haven’t been to all that many. I’m not exactly big on socializing. But hey, before I forget. Have you met any humans before?” he asked Twilight, raising an eyebrow. He knew that she indeed had met humans before, but was trying to establish a precedent in case he screwed up and asked about something he shouldn't know about.
“I did,” she answered. “Though, I had to use a magic mirror made by Starswirl the Bearded to visit their world, and it appeared to be some strange mirror copy of our own.”
Josh nodded in pretend interest, confirming a few things in his head. So far, he’d determined that Equestria Girls actually happened, and that no other humans had come this way. That ruled out quite a few possibilities on what kind of Equestria this was. He looked over at Ben once more, to find that his friend was simply tagging along, remaining silent.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked, causing Twilight and the others to look over as well.
“I…” Ben trailed off, avoiding everyone’s gaze.
Josh studied his face for a moment more, slowly realizing that Ben was shy. “Ah, it’s cool,” Josh dismissed, unable to think of any other way to end the conversation without causing Ben further embarrassment.
“So, what about what’s going on here? Why are you all awake at night?” he asked, changing the topic. He hadn’t seen any Halloween decorations, so he assumed it wasn’t Nightmare Night – which, considering it was September back on his home world, made some sense. Maybe.
“Well, ever since Princess Luna returned – she controls the moon and night sky, by the way – her sister Celestia, princess of the day decreed that this be made a national holiday. I think she did it to please Luna, because she wasn’t exactly happy with Nightmare Night as a holiday, but… I haven’t heard from Luna all night.”
Ben curiously glanced at her. “So, what’s the point of the holiday?”
Twilight sighed. “It’s apparently about Luna’s and Celestia’s lost sons, Prince Miracle Matter and Prince Clockwork Chronology. They disappeared around the same time as Luna became Nightmare Moon – er, not that you’d know about that. Basically, she went crazy and turned completely evil, and Nightmare Night is about dressing up as somepony frightening in hopes of evading her dark magic, and giving candy to foals. Nopony quite knows what happened to their children, but Celestia decided to celebrate and remember their existence in hopes of cheering Luna up.”
Ben raised an eyebrow, and began to question Twilight on some other things, but Josh wasn’t paying attention. He was by now thoroughly confused, and slightly frightened. ‘Miracle Matter’ had never existed in the show canon, and had never even been brought up before this point. More to the point, he’d once made an OC called ‘Miracle Matter’. Alicorn Prince of Space, and overpowered as usual. He’d thrown the character out almost immediately, because who listened to a story about an alicorn nowadays?
“Anything else you know about this ‘Miracle Matter?’” he inquired, interrupting Ben, who had been about to ask another question.
Twilight shook her head. “There was nothing in my library about him… though considering half my books were destroyed by a… recent mishap, that’s not saying much. All I know is what the official statement said.”
Josh nodded. “And what about Celestia and Luna? What are they like?” he asked, trying to make it sound as casual as the other questions. Ben perked up as well, probably sharing the same thought as Josh: The Princesses’ attitudes often decided whether timelines were ‘good’ or ‘bad.’
“Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I know I address them without title, but that is because I, too, am actually a Princess. Princess Twilight Sparkle, at your service,” Twilight finally introduced herself.
Josh made a mock bow, barely dipping down past his shoulder height, and Ben performed a more sincere one. “Pleasure to meet you, your Majesty,” they formally returned in unison, before grinning. Twilight laughed appreciatively, and dismissed them with a wave of her hoof.
“That said… I don’t mind if you call me ‘Twilight.’ Anyway, Princess Celestia is very warm and kind to everybody around her.”
Josh picked up on the rare use of ‘everybody’ – possibly an attempt to include other species? That might mean this version of Celestia wasn’t xenophobic. Good.
“Luna, on the other hoof, is more… serious. Well, maybe that’s not the right word… Intense? Cold? No, too negative…” Twilight trailed off, musing.
“Cool?” Josh supplied.
Twilight slowly nodded. “You know… that sounds about right! She’s cooler than Celestia. Not to say that Princess Celestia isn’t cool in the popular sense, but…” she trailed off as she saw Josh rolling his eyes.
“I got that part, thanks,” he replied, and Twilight chuckled in embarrassment.
“Sorry… I keep forgetting I’m not her student anymore.”
They arrived at Twilight’s castle, and Josh examined the bluish crystal with some interest. Post season-four timeline, then, he mused, staring at the castle some more as Twilight knocked on the huge doors.
“Starlight? Are you there?” Twilight called out, knocking.
Scratch that, post-season five, he thought.
“Coming, Twilight!” the mare answered, just outside the door. Josh was pleased to note that the door was his height, and it was pulled open by a bluish-purple magic as Starlight glanced around the door. “Did the meeting go well?” she asked, then stopped as her eyes traveled slowly upward before alighting on their two faces. “Wha…” she trailed off.
“Starlight, this is Josh and Ben," Twilight introduced. "Um… so they appear to have teleported into the Everfree from another world, so we're going to get them cleaned up and then work on getting them home,” Twilight explained.
Starlight cocked her head to the side. “The Everfree? No wonder you’re in such bad shape,” she noted to herself. Then, she brightened. “Well, you two must be friendly if Twilight’s allowed you to come to the castle. Come on in, I’ll show you around.”
Ben nervously glanced at Twilight at that last comment, who looked away sheepishly.
“She and I have some… history,” Twilight whispered to him. Josh bumped Ben on the shoulder, giving him a slight nod - Everything's okay, this is normal. Ben immediately relaxed, and allowed himself to be led into the castle.
Starlight led the two of them up to a bathroom, where Josh and Ben found they could just barely fit in the cramped quarters. The showers were small, clearly designed for ponies, and the shower head barely came up to Josh's chest. “You can take off your clothes, I’ll have them… burned,” Starlight motioned towards Josh’s shirt and pajama pants, and Ben’s shorts and t-shirt.
“Uh…” Josh trailed off, wondering how best to phrase this.
“Wait!” Twilight’s voice could be heard outside the room, and she trotted in. “Humans aren’t comfortable being seen nude, and they have to bathe separately,” she explained to Starlight, who looked over at them strangely. “Just leave your clothes outside the door, and there’s another shower right over here,” Twilight offered to Josh, who smiled and nodded in relief.
“Thank you, that’s much better.” The two ponies led him to a new shower, and stepped outside the room, where he quickly changed, pushed his clothes outside, and stepped into the shower.
It was a bit hard to move around, but Josh had never been happier to feel warm water on his skin. He hadn’t had a bath in a full day now, and had been trekking through a forest on top of that. The shower wasn’t very hot, but Josh didn’t care in the slightest at the moment – his only concern was that of making himself clean. He noticed a few bottles of hair products left in the shower, and wondered if he should make use of them. After some debate, he elected to use very small amounts, and set about using the body wash just to make sure he smelled as nice as possible – if he recalled, ponies had a stronger fixation on the sense of smell than humans in most literature. The town had smelled like most other towns did to Josh, if a bit fresher and nicer, so he didn’t have to worry about some of the show theories that Ponyville actually smelled like horses. If anything, it just smelled like fresh air and a bit of wet grass. Twilight and the other ponies hadn’t smelled like much of anything, as far as his nose could tell. Then again, years of exposure to harsh fuming acids hadn't exactly left his nose in the best of shape. Josh made a mental note to ask Ben what he thought things smelled like. He scrubbed halfheartedly at the chemical burns on his leg, but they still didn’t seem to do much of anything beyond turning slightly redder.
Finally, he considered himself clean, and set about drying himself off with the tiny towel provided. Wrapping it around his waist, he peeked outside. “Hello?” he called out, and there was a shuffle of hoofsteps as Starlight came trotting around.
“Wow, you take really long showers – what in Celestia’s name is that?” she half-shouted, pointing at his towel.
Josh thought she meant something very embarrassing until he looked down, realizing that one of the burn spots on his lower thigh was uncovered by the towel. “Oh, that? That’s just a chemical burn, don’t worry about it,” he dismissed.
“From what? I haven’t seen a burn that bad since… ever!” Starlight dramatically announced, turning around and trotting off. “I am getting you some medical attention for that right now. Come along, mister Josh!” she announced, looking back at him.
Josh shrugged, and followed her, hoping his towel was low enough to conceal himself appropriately. Along the way, he caught Starlight smiling happily – he supposed she was trying to show how good a friend she was. Josh had a sinking feeling that this was about to go ‘hilariously’ wrong.
To his surprise, they had a medical kit on hand… or on hoof. They stopped in a dining hall, empty except for the pair of them, and Starlight had him sit on a chair. “Now hold still so I can treat you,” Starlight instructed.
“I… I think I’ll just apply it myself,” Josh answered, attempting to grab the jar labeled ‘Burn Ointment’ from her magical grasp, but Starlight moved it away stubbornly.
“Is this about that ‘nudity’ thing? Honestly, I don’t get that – what are you attempting to hide? We all know what’s under there,” Starlight snorted.
Josh glared at her. “Are you going to respect my cultural values, or are you going to stand there and insult me?”
Starlight immediately stopped rolling her eyes and looked apologetic, ears splaying back. “Um… right… sorry. I’ll be over here.”
She exited the room, and Josh sighed in relief as he set about to applying… whatever this was. There was no ingredients list on the side of the jar, just the label. He really hoped it wasn’t some fake product… or something he might have a reaction to. No telling what Equestrian medicine might do to his alien body.
He finished rubbing the white cream into his skin, and replaced the towel over it, uncomfortable at the residual stickiness of his leg and the towel. “You can come back in now,” he called to the door where Starlight had gone through, and she immediately reappeared.
“Sorry about earlier, I should probably respect your values more. I... I just wanted to show everypony that I could make friends just as well as they could,” she admitted, ears still splayed back.
“Hey, it’s alright. No harm, no foul. And I’m sorry for being harsh with you. It’s just… it’s been a thing for humans for two thousand years, at least. That kind of thing doesn’t just go away overnight, you know?” he explained.
Starlight nodded glumly. “Yeah… makes me remember how hard this whole ‘friendship’ thing has been. Some days, I just want to… uh… never mind.”
Josh wisely elected to remain silent, and Starlight visibly cast around for a change of topic, the two of them sitting awkwardly in the empty dining hall.
“Uh… so, you’re taking being on an alien planet rather well,” she noted after a moment.
Josh shrugged. “It still feels kind of… unreal, you know? Like I’m… reading a book, and not really here.” He didn't want to mention that that was almost the literal interpretation of what was going on, but the thought was there nonetheless.
Starlight nodded in thought. “I get that. Twilight’s gotten lost in books before, sometimes I have to snap her out of it. You really didn't do anything that might have brought you here? No magic experiments, no futuristic teleporter that went awry, nothing?” she queried, cocking her head to the side in disbelief. Another insidious thought about the typical entry point of humans in Equestria popped into Josh's head, and he stifled a grin.
Josh chuckled, and shook his head. “Not that I recall... and Ben was nowhere near me, so it's unlikely that something on our planet called us here... Hey, I got a question for you," he remembered. Starlight nodded expectantly. “I ran into a pair of… well, they called themselves ‘changelings,’ in an alleyway. What’s up with them?”
Starlight appeared taken by surprise. “They’re… well, their race did some pretty terrible stuff under their queen, and some changelings are apparently trying to integrate into normal pony society. But nopony wants to give them a job or a home, so… they live in that alleyway. Twilight’s been trying to get them fair treatment, but it’s slow going.”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “Couldn’t she employ them, as well as give them lodging? It’d would make the point pretty well, after all.”
Starlight waved a hoof in a so-so motion. “She tried, they refused. Something about serving under royalty didn’t sit right with them anymore, or something. One of them’s cool with working for us, though – I think her name was ‘Coxa’? She works a lot harder than the others. She doesn’t look so well, either, so we were going to force her to take a break tomorrow.” After some deliberation, the lavender-pink mare deposited a fresh shirt and pair of shorts onto the table. “Anyway, Rarity just finished making these. She’s wanted to make clothing for humans ever since Twilight told her about the mirror, and decided to make them according to the theme of this week’s holiday.”
Josh looked at her strangely. “This week’s holiday? It’s a week long?”
Starlight nodded. “Hey, don’t look at me, ask the Princesses,” she shrugged.
Josh smiled. “Fair enough. Mind stepping out again while I change?” he asked, and Starlight politely nodded.
“Of course,” she answered, stepping out the door again.
Josh discovered that the clothes were a black shirt and dark bluish-green shorts, with what appeared to be Miracle Matter’s Cutie Mark from Luna’s bedroom on the front of the shirt and on either side of the shorts, where his ‘flanks’ might be if he were a pony. It was a swirling, dark green vortex, reminding him perhaps of the ‘Mind’ symbol from Homestuck, or the traditional symbol for ‘karma’, with what appeared to be a black hole in the center.
“Wow, these are really nice,” he complimented, stepping out into the corridor where Starlight was waiting and twisting around to examine his new clothes.
“Rarity is a great seamstress. She’s running two stores, one here and one in Canterlot, and she still found ten minutes to sew these together. I don’t know how she manages,” Starlight spoke as they made their way to what Josh presumed was the front of the castle.
True enough, they entered the throne room, and Josh looked over at the Cutie Map. It was recessed into the floor, the orange crystalline substance only slightly translucent. Twilight, Ben and Spike were waiting, and Twilight smiled as soon as she saw Josh. Ben was dressed exactly opposite to Josh, wearing a white shirt and dark red shorts with a few gears in the shape of a skull on his shirt and pants – Clockwork’s Cutie Mark, Josh presumed.
“How are you feeling?” she inquired, and Josh smiled back.
“A lot better… and a lot cleaner,” he joked, and the ponies and Spike laughed appreciatively.
“Anyway, I’ve been thinking, and it sounds like we should talk to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna if we stand a chance of getting home. Where can we find them, and how soon can we get there?” Ben asked, surprising Josh – maybe Twilight had gotten him to open up a little?
“The last train to Canterlot leaves in twenty minutes, so if you hurry you can make it by morning,” Starlight informed him.
Josh immediately headed for the door. “Thanks, and thanks for the hospitality!” he finished, stepping outside, Ben hurriedly following.
“Wait!” Twilight called out, flying forward before moving into step beside them. “You didn’t think we were just going to leave you alone, did you? You still need to buy tickets for the train,” she reminded them.
Josh adopted a sheepish grin. “Oh, right. Money. Hoo boy…” he trailed off as he tried to think of what he might do.
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it. Not every night I get to speak with a human that isn’t from that world,” Twilight offhandedly remarked.
Josh was about to laugh in relief, but something about her comment caught him. “Wait… what do you mean, not from that world?” he asked carefully. How had she known that…?
Twilight immediately stopped short, a guilty frown on her face. “I – that is to say, um – I may have… analyzed your magical signatures… while you were in the shower,” she shamefacedly admitted.
Ben raised an eyebrow. “And… what did you see?” he inquired, when she fell silent.
“They were… well, they weren’t there. Nothing whatsoever… it was like looking at… a rock.”
Josh smirked. “Well, I’ve got all the facial expression of one, so that’s accurate.” Taken by surprise, Twilight giggled. “Anyway, if that’s it, I can live with that. It’s an important clue about getting home, after all.”
Twilight happily nodded, though Ben still looked apprehensive. “Thank you for understanding.” With that, they quickened their pace, intent on reaching the train station in time.
Ponies all around were beginning to set up for the festival, and the sounds of construction permeated the air as stalls and stages were set up across town.
“Wow, no time to waste, huh?” Josh quipped as they ran past a small army of fillies and colts who were building something of their own.
“This town’s great, everypony works together for every holiday,” Twilight answered breathlessly. “It’s a really tightly-knit community, because the town's so small that everypony knows each other!”
Josh took this in with a grunt, feeling lightheaded as he tried to keep pace with the rest. He’d never been a runner – swimming had always been his thing. Ben, too, looked out of breath, though with how thin he was Josh wasn’t surprised.
To Josh’s relief, it wasn’t nearly as much of a run as he expected – it took them just over two minutes to cross town. The train station was on the western border of Ponyville, and he could see a single train, sitting there without any passengers. Perhaps nopony felt like going to Canterlot overnight? He would have mused some more, if Twilight hadn’t pulled him and Ben over to the empty ticket line.
“Excuse me?” she called politely through the window. Inside, a stallion jerked awake, looking around in alarm.
“Who – wha – oh, Princess Twilight!” he sighed in relief, slumping back into his seat.
Twilight rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Wake up, Ticket Ride. I’ve got business for you.” Josh remained silent.
“Who’re these, some pets of yours?” Ticket Ride questioned.
Twilight immediately turned red, visible even in the darkness. “Wha – no! No, these are Josh and Ben, two friends of mine and sapient species. They need passage to Canterlot.”
Ticket Ride widened his eyes. “Oh – Celestia, I’m so sorry! I, um…” he stammered, looking up at Ben and probably realizing just how much taller the human was compared to him.
Ben chuckled. “No offense taken… but… I’m wearing clothes. Wasn’t that a bit of a tip-off?” he teased.
Ticket Ride chuckled back, rubbing a hoof to the back of his head in embarrassment as he ripped off a ticket from the reel and passed it under the window. Josh took it, wishing he had any pockets to carry it in before remembering he had a saddlepack strapped on.
“Yeah… I need some real sleep,” Ticket Ride admitted. “That’ll be six bits.”
Twilight grumbled a little as she fished out the required money. “It was only four yesterday…” Josh could hear.
He elected not to comment on Equestrian economics, instead accepting the ticket. “Thank you,” he politely thanked Ticket Ride, who had already fallen back asleep.
Twilight sighed at the sight, and levitated a blanket hidden off to the side onto Ticket Ride’s back. “Hopefully, they’ll put him on less of a busy shift next week,” she stated. That done, she gestured over towards the train. “Right through that door. I’d suggest getting some sleep on the train, as the conductor usually provides pillows and blankets for nighttime rides. Oh, and if the conductor or anypony else asks, just say Princess Twilight sent you. In fact…” Twilight rummaged around in her saddlepack for a moment, before pulling out a small cardboard box. From the box, she lifted out two wax seals embossed with her Cutie Mark and deposited them in each of their hands with her magic. “There. If anyone asks, show them that. That seal states you’re under my protection, and it won’t be easy to break or melt it.”
Josh’s eyes widened at the impressive forethought. “Wow, thanks. We’ll definitely keep these, then.”
Twilight nodded and smiled. “Anything for a friend. Goodbye, and good luck getting home!”
Properly dismissed, Ben and Josh stepped onto the train.