With horror, I saw that the front door of our house was open. Looking up and down the street, I saw changelings herding ponies into groups but no Topaz. I centered myself above the roof and began spiraling down, banking my wings to bleed altitude quickly. I wasn’t halfway when the kitchen window burst outwards and two changelings tumbled out. One ran away from the house while the other was swept up by a wall of purple energy. Or was it pink?
I turned to face it. Definitely purple, and quite familiar. “Hey! That’s …”
I didn’t get a chance to finish as Shining Armor’s shield spell blasted me out of Canterlot at incredible speed. Out of control, I tumbled head over hooves, trying to get my bearings. I saw the forest rush up at me between spins. Just before impact, I absorbed my wings, formed a ball, and hardened my hide everywhere I could.
I woke up in a forest, only the sound of insects reaching me. I tried to stand but found it impossible. I couldn’t move! Panicking, I tried harder, searching my senses for what bound me. Did a pony tie me up? Did my form slip back to my changeling self? I realized my eyes still worked. I looked at my legs in front of me. They were covered with thick, rock-hard skin. Belatedly, I remembered willing my entire body to the hardness of my hooves when I dig through earth and stone.
I returned my body to my tan pegasus form and took stock. I was sore in many places but nothing was broken. I tried flapping my wings and winced. I had strained my muscles trying to regain control of my flight, but the pain was manageable for now. I rose above the treetops and scanned the horizon. I was completely disoriented and had no idea which direction had I come from. The forest looked the same in all directions. Finally, I located Mount Canterlot perhaps a dozen miles away, the same direction as a path of smashed tree limbs and plowed earth that had slowed my descent. Sheepishly, I realized finding the direction home would have been easier if I hadn’t been in such a panic. Speaking of that, I had to get back to Topaz.
I pushed my wings as hard as I dared.
No pony challenged a pegasus in Royal Guard armor as I flew over the walls of the city, which was fortunate as “Corporal Sandy” would not be on any roll call. I landed unnoticed behind our house and changed back to my unicorn form as I galloped through the alley. When I emerged onto our street, I saw the most welcome sight I had ever seen in my life! Topaz was standing in front of the house, her head next to that of another pony.
“Topaz!” I yelled hoarsely, rushing up to her. I opened my hooves to gather her in. Only to be intercepted by her hoof smashing into my shoulder.
“Idol! What were you thinking? I know you don’t like Mrs. Proper Place, but to drain her emotions like this? And what possessed you to jump through the kitchen window?” Her anger was pounding into me, almost as much as the pain in my abused shoulder.
I didn’t know what to say. She was making even less sense than the lyrics of songs she sung on “Karaoke Night”, my previous high bar for pony incomprehensibility. Eventually, I decided to tell her the truth, as I understood it. Topaz had taught me to always start with that; then I could learn what I did wrong and apologize profusely. “Queen Chrysalis led the Hive in an attempt to take over Canterlot. Her drones were forcibly draining the townspeople of their emotions.”
Topaz furrowed her brow and I could taste her confusion. Then she looked past her neighbor, past me, and onto the street. “Oh!” Then up and down the street. “Oh. OH!” Then back into the house. “Ooooh! OOOOOH!” I patiently waited for her symphony of “Oh!”s to run out.
Eventually, she turned back to me with fear in her eyes. I didn’t need to guess what that meant. “I no longer follow Queen Chrysalis. My loyalty is to Equestria.” She surprised me with a huge hug, her affection and appreciation pouring into me. I did not try to stop it.
“Topaz, I also realized something at the castle. I need you to know…”
“Oh!” she exclaimed, her eyes opening wide. She pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Can we help Mrs. Place?”
Reluctantly, I turned my attention to our neighbor. “Well, she was always complaining about being miserable all the time. Now she’s not and also much more pleasant to be around.”
Topaz frowned and opened her mouth, then closed it. She opened it again and tried once more. “I can’t believe you said that, Idol.”
I could spot when she didn’t have a good argument. Perhaps I was gaining some Pony wisdom after all. “But is it true?”
She fumed for a moment then admitted, “Yes, technically, but we need to snap her out of it.....Wait!” With that, Topaz galloped inside, leaving me with the insensate mare. I felt a wave of warmth and friendliness behind me.
“I say! Another dazed pony with their emotions drained, I surmise.” An earth pony stallion pushed in front of me to study Mrs. Place. “Yes, yes, all the telltale signs.” I studied the intruding pony. He had a dull, off-white coat with a dark red mane. His cutie mark was a stethoscope which he accented with a real one around his neck. He then turned to me. “Doctor Positive Attitude, Guardsman! I firmly believe that a cheerful disposition is the best way to beat a bad turn, but I must say I don’t like the looks of these ponies.” He didn’t exactly frown, but his happiness output decreased considerably. “Haven’t got much left in my bag of tricks except to try letting them sleep it off.”
“I’m back!” Topaz declared, somewhat unnecessarily. Of course, I could tell she was back. How could I not notice when the center of my universe came back to me? She held a pouch under Proper Place’s nose and opened it. The unicorn began coughing and sputtering, but other than backing up a few paces (over our lawn), it was apparent there was no change in her condition.
“Ah, smelling salts, I wager!” offered the Doctor. “Yes, we’ve tried those on several of the afflicted but that hasn’t been the shock their systems need, I’m afraid.”
Suddenly, I realized what would, and what Topaz had overlooked. Now, what did that beast smell like? Ah, yes. I walked behind Proper Place and lifted her up. At that same time, I altered my skin pheromone producers to output manticore stench in great quantities. I pointed my head behind me and yelled, “No hope for this one, Sergeant! Let’s feed her to the manticore!”
Apparently, I overachieved my goal because I was suddenly being pounded with a great deal more ferocity than I would have thought possible from the mare. Not wanting any more abuse, I dropped her and backed away. She rounded on me in an instant. “Mr. Idol Hooves! Don’t think for one instant that I’m letting you off the hook for your unsightly greenery!”
I’ll admit I was speechless for a moment. Maybe two. Then I did something by instinct, I suppose, because I certainly didn’t plan it. I threw my forelegs around her and drained some of her negative emotions. “Topaz and I will hire an earth pony to manage it for us.”
She pulled out of my grasp and looked at me hard, studying me as if for the first time. “That will do.” She then spun on her hooves and marched to her front door.
Doctor Positive Attitude tried to interrupt. “Miss! I need to examine you! Your recovery is most remarkable and we must–” The door slamming on its broken hinges was her only reply. The doctor paused for a moment. “Is she normally this…antagonistic?”
Topaz and I merely nodded.
“Ah, I see. Well, then. Oho! Corporal, you smell like, umm, well, a manticore! No offense of course. Ah! So that’s what snapped her out of it! Well, done, lad! Though I must say you should see a doctor about that stench. I mean, besides the one you are seeing right now! Am I right? Am I right?” His happy emotions bloomed again. Apparently, his good spirits were irrepressible.
“All soldiers are ordered to report to the castle immediately!” cried a voice from above. Looking up, I saw a pegasus Royal Guardsman scanning a megaphone across the city. “Leave is hereby canceled until further notice!”
Blast it. I still hadn’t been able to talk to Topaz yet. And now the delay would be even longer. I couldn’t shirk my duty. Not again.
She burst into my thoughts by wrapping me in her hooves and pouring more affection into me. “Take some for the road,” she whispered in my ear, “and return safe to me.” My knees felt weak. Is this what the knight in the puppet show felt when his lady gave him her favor? I don’t think I would have traded it for the world.
“I will, My Lady,” I swore, before turning and galloping off.