//------------------------------//
// Entry #12 
// Story: Mamihlapinatapai 
// by WritingSpirit 
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I didn't want to ruin it.

There are times where some things should be handled with proper care. While the idea of such things vary from pony to pony, there is always the rare few that all ponies could agree to act upon as such. Of course, I can't really say that for everypony without blindly relying upon my confidence, but I could only hope it would be true. After all, with a sight like the one I was rewarded with right now, who wouldn't cherish every single moment, down to every last speck and fiber, of the situation I was in right now, however awkward it may be?

It was breathtaking.

Few would bring out that and other such words to describe mornings in Manehatten, though I could never find a more apt word to put on paper how I felt then when my tired eyes gazed into the distance. Beyond the lithe and taut wires of the steel bridge, over the unyielding columns of glass skyscrapers and brick apartments, the sun tore through the dense fog, shooting forth its rays to bask the world in its divine splendor. A gentle wind blew from behind, the dew-tinted blades of green across the meadow genuflecting, almost inclining for me to do the same. Fallen leaves were tossed up, swirling and twirling in formation before breaking into a synchronized dive into the river. It was a spectacular sight worth remembering and certainly one that would worth more from sharing, though I dare not perturb the only other pony that was with me.

Princess Twilight Sparkle, as benevolent as her title may imply, had a really adorable way of sleeping on a picnic mat, with her wings half spread, body curled inwards, the hairs of her mane fanned out and, occasionally, soft mutters slipping out from her mouth. She looked so vulnerable, so fragile in her gentle slumber. I looked on, smiling while she rests, her chest steadily rising and falling, unaware of the world already waking up before her. As far as my responsibilities go, I would be waking her up at around this hour, though with all the work she had done in these past few weeks, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have her rest a little longer. Moreover, it would pain me if I had to break up what I consider a delicate and pristine moment.

I really didn't want to ruin it.

Alas, it is but a moment. Like all moments, they are temporal, with a tendency to feel brief in the wake of their passing. Still, as short and elusive as they may be, such moments remain as fables, etched forever in our heads and our hearts, for the illustrious and lucrative hands of time, deft as they may be, never finds it in itself to show concern for such treasures, which leaves only us of the mortal plane to figure out how to deal with such inconveniences. Were it up to me, I would do everything in my power to encapsulate this moment, to ensure that it will never be forgotten, reminding me of a plea Twilight had uttered almost desperately the night prior.

"I don't want to go."

Me neither, Twilight. Me neither.

"Mmn..."

"Hello, beautiful," I hummed, watching her stir from over my shoulder. "Sleep well?"

"Flash, the day just started..." she exhaled softly and blithely, rubbing her eyes. "I don't remember bringing any cheese last night... I didn't, did I?"

"Yeah, you didn't."

"It would've gone great with the wine though..."

Her musings left in a slow, strenuous groan, her wings meekly propelling her forward only to slump onto my back, the sudden plop of her entire alicorn body onto my spine eliciting a grunt; fortunately, as she had not arrived at the peak of her consciousness yet, I was spared from her taking it as a insensible judgment regarding her weight. She murmured something as she frequently does in her drowse — such conversations would range from a certain royal remedy, to Princess Celestia, to something about waking ladybugs, to the basic fundamental theorems of energy conversion in magic — before dropping her chin onto my shoulder.

"Were you awake this whole time?" she rumbled. "You could've... woken me up..."

"You looked like you needed the rest," I replied, chuckling at her listless gaze. "From the looks of it, seems like you need a little more of that."

"Mm-hmm..."

"Feeling honest today, aren't you?"

"Hey, it's not like I wasn't being honest before! That was just... ja..." she stumbled back to let out a long yawn. "Ah... never mind... what about you? You seem pretty considerate today... a little bit more than usual..."

"I wouldn't want to wear you out any further, Your Highness."

"Ugh, Flash, I'm taking that back... formalities... mornings..."

"Caffeine deficiency, got it," I chimed gleefully, a little proud to have the chance to get away with teasing her. "Any preferences?"

"Don't know... don't care..."

"As you wish."

With my princess too weary to even bother thinking about working, I was left tidying up the surviving remnants of our nightly excursion. Not that I mind, as there isn't much of it left after I inexplicably nibbled on some of the leftovers while waiting for the impending sunrise. It took a little more effort to move Twilight's drowsy form off the blanket without paying heed to her insistent whines, but once I passed that hurdle it was neatly folded and placed in the picnic basket.

"We're ready to go, Twilight," I called out, turning around. "Twilight?"

"Huh-wha... what is it..."

The biggest smirk of the day crossed my lips.

"You dozed off."

"N-No, I didn't! I just... uh, blinked!"

"Of course you did," I retorted, chuckling at her drowsy, flustered look. "Twilight, if you need a little more time to rest, just let me know. I don't mind waiting."

"No! Just... no... I don't want to keep you waiting any longer... that'll just be—" another yawn broke in, much to her disdain. "L-Look, I can handle... handle myself fine..."

"No, you can't."

Sometimes, you just have to admit the cold, hard truth, even if it was something as whimsical as not being able to work four steps before tripping over your own hooves, which a sleepy Twilight was more prone to doing than the Twilight that guzzled down nine glasses of wine. It took me a victory in the ensuing pouting contest before she finally left it off a huff, creasing her brows with a low, disgruntled mewl. Wearing a smug grin, I was about to kick back and wait for her doze off when she suddenly turned my way, a small smile growing across her muzzle.

"What is it?" I hummed my question.

"Well... I was thinking that maybe... you could carry me there..."

"Carry you?"

"What?" she frowned at the look on my face, vitalized if only for a moment. "After what we did last night, I don't think there's any reason for you to feel ashamed about something like this."

"No, it's not that," I attested. "It's just... well... what if somepony sees us?"

To that, she graced me with a wide, foxy grin, only to break out into another frustrated yawn. "I don't really care what they think... I'm too tired to care, to be honest..." she giggled. "It'll be fun to just tease them a little... you know, give them a little hint, let them speculate..."

"Since when were you this playful?"

"I was always this playful! Let's just say... last night gave me the encouragement I needed."

I could only return a wordless smirk.

It wasn't long before I was trudging up the slope, with a contented Twilight Sparkle resting on my back, the picnic basket hanging from her folded wings. I tried not to pay heed to those somewhat endearing mumbles in her sleep, or the occasional fits of light snoring, or the little damp patch of drool that was gathering at the nape of my neck. Instead, I found myself distracted with the sights of the waking city in the distance. The sounds, true to their nature, came soon after, with the clatters of wooden carriages surfing across the tarmac and the busy chatter of the city's earliest birds filling the silence in the streets. Perhaps it was fortunate that many of Manehatten's residents weren't too keen on viewing a princess's sun as they did in the olden days, though they would certainly be keen on seeing a princess being carried around by her royal guard. What few of them there may be, I'll have no choice but to leave them, jaws slack and all. Here's hoping they won't mob us soon after.

"Flash..." Twilight suddenly muttered, prompting me to look back. "Can I... can I ask you something?"

"Hmm? What is it?"

"Last night... the things you said..." she sported a hopeful glance. "Did you really mean every word of it?"

Some part of me knew the answer, yet curiosity prodded me over something more urgent.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I meant every word of mine..."

I couldn't help it. "Every word? You weren't exactly chaste with some of the words you used last night."

"Stop it, Flash," she rasped with a growing blush, my little bout of laughter cut short when she jabbed a hoof into my sides. "I'm being serious here... about what I said last night, before everything that happened... I thought it was the wine getting into my head when I said that, but it wasn't that..."

The shimmer in her eyes made me stop in my tracks.

"I'm scared, Flash. I really am. I'm terrified..." Her grip onto my back tightened, her throat quivering against the hairs of my mane. "I thought it'll go away if I just confessed, but it didn't," she whimpered. "I don't want to lose it... not when we've come this far... what if it was all for nothing? What if one of us decided that we don't love the other pony anymore? I didn't want to think about it, because I know I shouldn't be thinking about it, but I just... went ahead and—"

"Twilight..."

Stiffening up, her wide eyes glanced up to me, before falling away. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be bringing this up."

"No, no, it's alright. I just wished you told me earlier. We'll have to deal with this sooner or later anyway..."

I guess it was around this time that I realized how much my patience with her had grown, at least, to the point where I'll be willing to listen to her personal fears while I'm carrying her towards the nearest cafe. It's something that you'll never learn in the royal guard's regime— there were a plethora of lessons detailing on how to identify enemy offensive aerial formations, figuring out the minor differences between a xyston, a sarissa and a goedendag, and even a section about the various paths taken by dragons during their migration period. Perhaps it might be disrespectful to royalty, though I think us guards would fare off better if we included a section on how to handle adorably awkward princesses with anxiety issues; call me a heretic if you will, but I wouldn't mind giving a private lesson.

"I think if we lost it, we would have a perfectly good reason why," came my earnest conjecture. "If we had a good reason, it wouldn't be a waste of time. I mean, we tried after all, didn't we? We really tried. Sure, there's a lot of things we could never ever get back, but it was worth a shot, something like that."

"But what if there wasn't a good reason? What if something happened to us... to you or me... and because of that..."

"Then we'll have to figure it out, don't we?" I answered with a chuckle. Oh, if I only knew. "Until all of it was sorted out, I'll be right beside you."

Twilight strained out a quavering grin. "You make it seem so easy..." she mumbled.

"That's because I meant every word that I said last night."

That was definitely what she wanted to hear from me, if her peaceful return to slumber was of any indication. I didn't mind the silence, though there's only so much tranquility that a waking Manehatten would spare, if only because I was afraid it may stir the princess from her sleep. She may tease me for being a little overprotective because of that, though considering how anxious she was at the thought of our relationship falling apart, I'm sure she's pretty happy to hear that as well. Likewise, I'm glad that I could allay her fears solely with my presence alone, however insignificant it may be.

That kind of trust isn't something you'd simply bestow to anypony. It's the kind of trust that does not need to spoken, that gradually grows as time would see fit. When it grows, it grows deep, reaching far into the depths of our consciousness and, when nurtured well, it would bear fruit something invaluable. For Twilight to entrust her sapling to me... it was with that in mind that I finally decided, after all these months, to bring myself to trust her as well.

"Flash... are we there yet?"

I could only chuckle at that. "Not yet, but we're almost there," I chimed softly.

You can trust me on that.









"I'll really need to pay you back somehow."

"And I'm saying you don't have to. Just think of it as helping a friend out, which it is."

"This is more than that, you know! You've done way too much for me and I didn't even ask for it! In fact, from day one, I kept denying you, yet you insisted on helping me! Even now, I told you I didn't need help with moving my stuff out from Twilight's castle, yet you kept on pressing to help out! It's like you're obsessed with helping ponies out or something!"

"That's not a bad thing, right?"

"No, it's just... somepony might take advantage of that."

"One day, perhaps somepony will," Thunderlane chuckled. "But hey, I'll figure it out when that day comes. Until then, you'll just have to deal with it."

I guess I will.	

I really, really don't deserve a friend like Thunderlane. To be honest, I don't even remember how we became friends in the first place, though I'm sure he might know a thing or two. Quite frankly, all I remembered was that I wasn't really keen on having him as a friend in the beginning— I never told him about it, for I don't think he really needs to know that. Back then, his chummy, enthusiastic and somewhat carefree attitude just rubbed the wrong way somehow, as if he was looking down at me, telling me how better off he was, patronizing me— all of that done with his presence alone. I still ask the question: 'how can a pony like Thunderlane exist?' from time to time, albeit without adopting the acerbic tone like I did before. It's, unfortunately, the most I can do for now, a speck of dust before all that he done for me.

"So, moving back to Cloudsdale..." he mused. "Any chance you might come back for a visit?"

"I... I don't know, really..."

Times have changed.

As we trudged across the snow, I realized that it was clearer to me now than all the times before, for I've seen some unspeakable things, done some unspeakable things, that provided the clarity I needed. I never intended to leave Ponyville — it really is a wonderful town to be in — but in light of recent events, this place is better off without me. Still, I find myself always being drawn back to this charming little town, as if there is something left to be done before it would grant my much-needed leave. Every time I come back, hoping I would arrive to an epiphany as to what this town might want from me, even though some part of me knew the reason all along.

"You think she'll be fine?"

Were he a less courteous pony, Thunderlane would've just shrugged. "After this afternoon's town meeting? I'm sure she will be," he assured. "Rainbow Dash and co would make sure nothing gets into the castle without their say, I'm sure. As for the rest of us, we'll try our best to keep an eye out. The extra guards Captain Shining Armor said will be coming here tomorrow might help as well."

"Honestly, I don't know if that's enough..."

"It will be, I'm sure," he stated. "All of us here have been through a lot. We've had food-eating bugs, giant bears, Spike growing into a full-on dragon... hell, we've even had the spirit of chaos and disharmony turning this place upside down, and that was before he was living here! If they try anything here, I'm really gonna feel sorry for them before I'll take my turn to kick their flank."

I could only offer a mediocre smile; to hear that coming from Thunderlane, of all ponies, was assuring as much as it was amusing.

"As long as she's safe..." I muttered.

As long as she's safe, I'll be happy, wouldn't I?
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"SURPRISE!!"

I almost tumbled back out the front door from the prodigious ensemble of voices barraging my eardrums. My eyeballs momentarily grappled to stay in their sockets, dilating in awe at the crowd of ponies standing before me, all these faces that I've known and regrettably didn't take my time to know. Almost the entire town was here, gathered together for what reason, I'm not entirely sure, though I'm sure I fit somewhere in that equation. I couldn't help but crack a smile when they break into a verbose cheer, the sound of applause reverberating around the crystalline great hall, before whirling back to Thunderlane and his lofty, shrewd smirk.

"You asshole," I began, earning a cacophony of laughs in return. "And here, I thought the journey felt longer than expected."

"Heh. Well, sorry about that. Captain Dash's orders."

He stepped to the side, allowing the masterminds behind this devious plot to step forward; none other than Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Rainbow Dash. They marched forward, looking almost a little proud of themselves for making it happen. With everything I've seen so far, especially at such a scale, I guess they really deserved to have their moment.

"So, what do you think?" Rainbow Dash gave me a nudge. "Pretty sweet party, huh?"

"I guess so, but... well, what's the occasion?"

"Oh, silly!" Pinkie exclaimed, hopping up to me and digging her hooves into both of my cheeks. "It's all ready just for you!"

I would've yelled out in protest when she forcibly turned my neck upwards, were it not for the decorated banner screaming for attention while hanging high above our heads.















"Apologanza?"

"Because 'Saying Sorry To Flash Sentry Party' doesn't really have a nice ring to it," Applejack said. "All of us reckoned that since you'd be leaving, perhaps for good, we should get together and give you one last... uh, what was that word you used, Pinkie?"

"Apologoodbye!"

I just stared at them, dumbfounded.

"What Applejack is trying to say," Rarity interjected. "Is that... we're sorry. We truly are. All of us here had held at least some semblance of doubt that you didn't do anything that would bring harm to Twilight. We should've known, especially after all the time that you and Twilight had shared together, yet we distanced ourselves from you. To do that as Twilight's friends — to do that to the stallion she had the tenderest affections for — was despicable, unjustifiably so. When Thunderlane mentioned that you were stopping by to get the last of your belongings, we... we just had to come together and figure something out."

"And you had the whole town here for this?" I gaped, to which I received uncertain nods. "You... you really don't have to do this..."

"We wanted to," Fluttershy spoke up, smiling warmly. "It's something all of us decided to do, so we did it."

"Besides, it's not like we're asking you for permission or anything," Rainbow Dash added. "I think all of us can agree that we each have things we want to get off their chest. This might be your last night here, Flash, which means it's the last chance for some of us here to apologize."

I peered into the crowd, to all the hopeful, longing faces awaiting my answer. Many of these same faces were the ones that turned me away in my time of need, notwithstanding their friendship with yours truly. Some of them had gone one step further with their colorfully-worded death threats, though my encounter with an equally colorful mare was the closest attempt of it ever coming into corporeality. What they've done to me was something that should not be forgiven that easily. In fact, it's a little puerile and somewhat condescending to think that all those months could be brushed away with balloons and streamers, however magnificent Pinkie Pie's parties can be. Knowing that, I'm pretty certain that some of the ponies here had that same notion as well. Time would tell who these ponies might be, but until then, I'll have to be content with what they had in store for me.

"Well, since everypony's here already, there's no reason to call it off, right?"

A chorus of hoorays, before the party's in full swing. I have to admit, with how everypony's enjoying themselves all around me, it's as if this whole event was more about the partying and less of the apologizing, where everyone was having the time of their lives, though that's to be expected from a Pinkie Pie party. Make no mistake, there were still a multitude of ponies coming up to me with their vocal reparations at the ready, though it's a little hard to hear them over the inconvenient chatter and laughter of everypony else. I can't blame Twilight's friends for that — for them to organize all this deserved the contrary — but this was not the best solution they could go with. It's a mess of a cocktail to behold, the dissonant hurrahs clouding over what should be a sedated moment of repentance; all they needed was Discord to turn it into a full-blown riot.

I wonder what Twilight would've make of this?

"Flash? Come here for a sec!"

At a little corner away from the main spectacle, Rainbow Dash was waving me over. I sauntered across the room, weaving through the crowd of ponies as I made my way there. Along the way, however, I could make out a pair of ponies that were quietly conversing with her. From my passable judgement, they were a couple. There was a strange air of familiarity over them, as I've seen them from somewhere before. Whoever they were, they seemed pretty important, if the serious look Rainbow Dash was adopting were of any indication. You could imagine my surprise when I realized all of my above points checked out when they turned around, though I can't stress enough about how astonished I was when I realized who they were.

"Flash Sentry..." the mare spoke with a flutter, her husband watching on in stoic silence. "You... it's really you..."

"You two... you're—"

"You guys wanna find someplace quieter to talk?" Rainbow Dash cut in, throwing a sideways glance to the partying crowd. "I'm really starting to think that this Apologanza wasn't the best idea..."

At least somepony else here shares my thoughts.

With both sides giving our appreciative nods, the four of us strayed from the rowdy scene and made our way upstairs. There was nary a word between us, giving only a few awkward glances at each other while Rainbow led us onward. I don't know about them, but personally I'm not exactly that comfortable with meeting them yet, and that was even before the chaos unfolded on that fateful night. Twilight was rather insistent about rearranging the schedule to pay them a visit; I was rather insistent about the opposite, no matter all the many variations of her puppy eyes she would muster and throw at me. It was only in due time that fate rolled its dice and I, a piece from its board, was thrust forward face to face with them on the wintry solitude of one of the castle's many balconies.

"You cool with this place, Flash?"

"It'll do."

"How about you two, Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle? You guys okay talking out here?"

"It's fine," Mr. Sparkle answered. "We'll find a room inside if things get too chilly."

"Alright."

Rainbow Dash was quick to leave us, providing us the privacy that we needed. Hesitation pushed me to seek comfort in the tranquil view of a snow-covered Ponyville below, so it surprised me when I turned back to find that they were looking down at the same view as well, their smiles suffused with a faint melancholy. Mrs. Sparkle's smile especially was somewhat reminiscent of her daughter's, though I shouldn't be surprised, seeing as they shared a lot of things in common, from their mane style to their graceful literacy to even their first names. From her father, I figured she attained her steadfast determination, natural leadership and, as she once disclosed to me, her quirky knack of organizing. Thinking about it, Twilight rarely spoke about her parents, though the few times that she do, she always spoke highly of them, of how they were with her on every step of the way and how they believed she would eventually do something great. I would like to ask if they ever imagined she might one day ascend to princesshood, though right now that question would just leave a bad impression.

That's the last thing I need right now.

"She told us a lot about you," Mr. Sparkle exhaled softly. "Always mentioned how much you really listened to her, how much you meant to her. That you were the one she was looking for this whole time. I didn't think she could ever be that excited about somepony else ever since Cadance stopped foalsitting her. She really made you sound like you were the one for her."

"Really?"

"That was before you two had the argument."

My smile trembled. "Ah... okay..."

"Don't worry, it's all water under the bridge," Mrs. Sparkle chuckled mirthfully. "Ponies argue from time to time, no matter how petty things can get. Arguments happen to everypony— even the princesses themselves had them and that lasted for a thousand years! So it's only natural that one of you would have a disagreement sooner or later, and if it helps to shout it out, then do it. We sort of knew that what she wrote about you was a little too good to be true. It's just a matter of time, really."

"She'll have to make her own mistakes and learn from them," her husband chimed in. "It can be hard for her sometimes, but she'll make it. We know she will. She always had done that and she always will."

It really is a different set of rules for everypony.

Usually, I'm not as arrogant as Pierce to handle that kind of talk, because I really couldn't even imagine pretending to. I could, at least, conceive a passing thought, even if said thought doesn't really showcase what that phrase stands for. What they said puts into perspective on how different our lives were: for Twilight's parents, they were happy to let her run wild so that she could figure out how to pick herself up whenever she trips and falls; for my parents, they were afraid to let even a single snowflake land on my snout for fear of me getting a cold. We were raised differently, the set of rules thrust upon by the ponies around us all vying for the same goal. They want the best for us, obviously, but things might never turn out the way we want to.

In the words of Twilight Sparkle, there were too many variables.

Sometimes, the rules just don't apply anymore.

"That's what we hoped."

I couldn't ignore the meek shiver in Mrs. Sparkle's voice when she said that. Fresh tears gathered at the edges of her eyes as she turned away, before a sniffle gave them the final push they needed. Mr. Sparkle held her closer despite his own wavering composure, threatening to fall apart from even the gentlest breeze. I started to speak, though a sniffle from her lashed me short, leaving us hanging amid the looming serenity of a winter's night. With that, it also prompted her husband to speak up instead.

"Pray you never know what it's like to see your children suffer."

His tone was eerily cumbersome, his glance drawn downwards. There was certainly pain, and it certainly struck deep, but from the looks of it, it was twisting and burrowing deeper, as if the torment wasn't enough. I remembered how ecstatic they sounded in the paper when Twilight woke from her coma, which reminded me of how happy she was when she knew that I was alive and well. It was what came after the fact, revelation after dreadful revelation, that changed her. They were present at every phase she underwent; they saw the changes that took place. I had seen how devastated my parents were when I was toiling through those months; I can't imagine how terrifying must it be for them to see her like this.

"Any day now, I'll tell myself. She'll get over it," Mrs. Sparkle stuttered. "She'll get over it... she always does... she always had..."

How much times had they convinced themselves that their daughter will be fine?

"She's faced worse. She's seen worse. Nightmare Moon, Discord, Tirek... this... this..."

What happens if she could never get over all that has happened?

"We told Twilight she can't lose hope... she knows that..."

What if she comes to the conclusion that there's no purpose to her life anymore?

"She knows that... yet..."

Have they ever felt so helpless?

I was reminded of my second visit after her return to consciousness. Our first visit was spent mostly her sobbing when she realized that I was alive, so much so that she cried herself to sleep. Make no mistake, she cried in the second visit as well, though we managed to have a little heartfelt conversation soon afterwards. I remembered in that conversation, she talked about the wing she lost: about the phantom pain sensations she was experiencing, her muddled sense of balance and her fear of never flying again. I remembered asking whether she recalled the night it all happened, only to receive a sullen, somewhat apprehensive frown. I remembered how that frown lingered, breaking momentarily if only to say farewell as I took my leave. I remembered regarding the frown as something that will fade with the passage of time.

How fucking wrong I was.

"What happened?" I finally asked, a sinking feeling growing in my chest.

"Y-Yesterday afternoon..." Mrs. Sparkle swallowed, shuddering in her recollections. "We went to the hospital to pay a visit. Twilight, she... she never had it in herself to tell us no, so she let us in. There was nothing out of the ordinary that happened, we were just talking and catching up, seeing how she's been and all that. When lunch came around, Night Light here thought of getting something from one of the restaurants outside instead of just having the cafeteria food, you know, just to tickle the taste buds a bit. I think the two of us talked a little bit more before I stepped out to head to the washroom to just clear my head..."

That was when her lips started to quiver.

"When I came out, there was a commotion... the doctors, the nurses, they were just galloping down the hallway. I thought that something happened, I thought... I thought maybe one of the other patients had something going on, but when I realized they were all running towards Twilight's room..."

Mrs. Sparkle broke down into quiet sobs, her husband hugging her closer as he continued in her stead, though even he couldn't hold back the tears leaking down his cheeks. "Doctor told us she had a heart attack. It... it didn't make sense... she was always healthy, there was never anything wrong, she never had anything like this happen before, but... I-I was there, I saw the nurses and the doctors and... and Velvet was just standing there at the door... and when I saw Twilight on the bed, she was just... she was shaking, sh-she was trying to breathe but she couldn't and... her eyes were just frozen and everything... and then she suddenly stopped breathing and they had to take out the defibrillator..."

"We c-couldn't do anything..." Mrs. Sparkle wheezed, almost tumbling onto the floor. "We just stood there... and we watched... our very own daughter stopped breathing and we just watched..."

I didn't realize how long I held my breath until I mustered it to speak, preparing for the worst.

"Please tell me she made it..."

"They managed to resuscitate her a few minutes later," came the answer from her father, drawing out a sigh of relief from me. "The nurses told us to give her some time to rest. After that, when we came back and asked what happened, she... she kept mum about it. We had to resort to begging to get an answer out from her and when she did..."

"She said she was conjuring up some sort of... mnemonic restoration charm..." Mrs. Sparkle hiccuped her answer. "She must've heard of it from one of the nurses about what you were put through, so she tried to force some of her memories back, specifically from the night of the fire. It must've... worked a little too well and she might've remembered a little of what happened. We asked the doctors about it and they mentioned that the overwhelming pain and stress, both physical and mental, from reliving something like that... it might've been too much for her to handle and... everything else just happened..."

Whatever that was seething in me when I heard that made me stopped bothering on holding anything back.

"What the fuck was she trying to do that for?" I rasped, earning a pair of stares.

Really though, was it really too much to ask?

Don't do anything stupid, that was it. Don't do anything you usually wouldn't do.

The last thing that was asked of her was to put herself in harm's way, yet she somehow managed to do just that, all by herself while confined to a hospital bed. Were she anywhere else, she wouldn't have made it out of that ordeal alive. What was she hoping to gain from remembering what happened anyway? What was it that she wanted to remember so badly that it was worth risking her life for? It isn't like her to just charge in without thinking of the consequences; the Twilight I know was a lot more careful than that. Then again, with what I've seen from her this past few weeks, I'm inclined to think that she just stopped caring about anything altogether.

What's to stop me from saying that she does not care about me anymore? About how I felt?

I shouldn't feel too disgusted, after all.

"You knew how bad it would turn out for you. You knew how it would turn out and yet you went because, what, you thought that it was what I wanted?"

Was this how it felt like for her? This sordid, squeamish sensation of what was technically utter betrayal? Perhaps it's what I rightfully deserved, though I'd be selfish to think this was only involving us. This involves everyone that holds her near and dear to their hearts, which can be quite a number if loosely defined. Her parents were the ones that witnessed her cardiac seizures, not me. Her brother was finding ways to protect her from any further harm, not me. Her friends were the ones desperately finding the time to keep her company, not me. To top it all off, it was the other ponies that tore her down to where she was, not me. Losing her was something many feared as much as I do, so to say that what she did concerns only the two of us would be downright wrong.

That's what I really wanted to believe, but somehow, I just couldn't.

"No one else knew about this?" I asked after taking a moment to calm down.

"It was only us and the staff. She made all of them swear not to tell anypony else, not even her friends."

"You tried asking her why she did it?"

An uncertain nod from Mr. Sparkle. "She refused to tell us why," he replied with straight lips. "Not even after all the begging her mother did... Celestia damn it..."

"I don't know how to help her..." Mrs. Sparkle whimpered. "She doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to listen... every time we ask her something, she just brushes us off... I just want my daughter back the way she was. I just want her to smile again, to... to just be herself again. I don't care how we do it, I just want it all back the way it was..."

"And that's why you're here..." I rumbled airily when everything clicked. "You want me to do it. To bring her back."

A fresh moment of hesitation, before a pair of uneven nods.

Was it desperation? Perhaps one that's sorely needed. Was it hope? A little too much of it, I reckon. Might this whole thing be in vain? There's a good chance of it happening, though I'd like to believe otherwise. I still fancied the idea that Twilight, the alicorn princess of Friendship and the savior of Equestria for a countless amount of times, would seek for solitude in the form of yours truly. It's an immodest thought to pine upon, though from the looks of it, it may not be as far from the truth as I initially believed. On the notion of bringing her back, as they inaptly described, I could think of a few ways to go around it, though there was only one problem with that.

They were asking all of this from Flash Sentry.

"Why me?"

"Because if she would listen to anybody, it would be you."

"You really think she might still listen to me?" my skepticism played its card. "After all I've done? The resignation letter, the interview, everything? You think that if I paid her visit, she'll just forget everything?"

Exchanged glances, before her father provided the morose response. "We don't know..."

"You don't know..."

As I withheld the urge to scoff, I looked towards the brumous winter sky, to where the moon had shied away underneath the solace of the clouds. The snow had started to fall then, gratuitously regarding me with scorn like before as they waltzed across the sheets of moonlight. I felt her presence there and then, though however much it tried to grapple me with sweet nothings, I knew that this was but a shadow from the past, lingering because I wanted it to. What I wanted isn't impertinent, I told myself again and again, that it was because of such fallacies that Twilight wound up where she was right now. The Twilight I saw that day had bequeathed to me nothing but contempt; the Twilight they believed might listen to me was long gone.

Such high hopes were lost to me, though it would seem that to them, there's an inkling of it left.

"She often talks about you, you know?"

I remained resolute, even as a wistful smile graced Mrs. Sparkle's lips.

"She frequently mentions your name from time to time, sometimes without even realizing it."

I remained resolute, even as her words tempted me to respond.

"Just yesterday, when Night Light here was rambling on about his star charts," she shot a smug stare at her sheepish husband, "she was talking about cheesy you can be and how it always gets on her nerves somehow, but in a good way."

I remained resolute, if only for a little longer.

"She... she still has some love for you, Flash," her words came with a little reluctance. "I don't know to what extent, but I know it's there. Somewhere in that head of hers, my daughter still has her feelings for the royal guard she met in the Crystal Empire. All those words in her letters, all those written musings that we get from her, she talked about you, and with each passing day, her thoughts about you just... flourished. They grew with depth, with affection. Even now, she still brings them up from time to time. When she reminisces upon them, she would smile— and sure, it would be brief and it would quickly fade, but it was still a smile all the same. She smiled because she cared, because it was something she believed would be worth living for. She smiled because you were there with her."

"But that Flash Sentry... that isn't me anymore," I quavered. "What good would it do for me to visit now? After all that transpired? After what I've done?"

"We don't know... but that's the best part of it, isn't it?"

The cold winds lulled as the cogs in my head lurched at her sentence, before my eyes gradually dilated. I stifled the growing smile nestling in my throat, though it didn't take long for both of them to notice it through my cracking facade. A pair of chuckles were elicited, with Mr. Sparkle finally having the chance to explain.

"We listened to your interview at the hospital with Twilight," he said. "She didn't want to initially, but that's because she thought she should spend more time with us instead. We kept insisting that she just go ahead and she gave in. Truth be told, we really wanted to listen in as well. Honestly, for the both of us... I think we've heard what we wanted to hear from you."

"And... what about Twilight?"

"We're not entirely sure," Mrs. Sparkle professed apologetically. "When you started talking about how you would've proposed to her, she was just... stunned. Shocked probably, from not knowing what to think. Then, when you started talking about how everything would be great with Twilight, no matter what, she... she just started crying. She just cried and cried and... well, we both thought of finding a way to cheer her up by the time the interview ended, but she wanted us to leave and give her some time to herself before that could happen..."

My eyelids drooped, my glance falling sideways.

"Oh... okay..."

"She might tell you if you ask her," Mr. Sparkle suggested. "She'll never confide anything about it to us and I don't think her friends would know about it either; she's too proud for that."

For a moment, there was frustration which, as I had believed, once again rose against their attempts to coax me into visiting her. It took me less than a second to realize that said frustration was actually directed towards myself and at all the things I've done. Seriously, somehow, I could muster up enough spirit to attend the funeral of what I thought was the pony that conspired to kill me, yet for some fucking reason, I couldn't even conjure the thought of paying a visit to see the pony that would've been killed alongside me. Even with all that I've done against her wishes, she still brought herself to listen to my confessional over the radio. She could've turned it off and ignored it, much like how I could ignore my dad's request on attending Mr. Atelier's funeral, yet she didn't.

That was when I had a revelation.

What was it that's actually stopping us?

Was it shame?

I thought it was. I couldn't face her, knowing that I failed my duty, that she went through such pain because of my negligence. I couldn't even look her in the eye when she questioned me what she had done wrong when in fact, she didn't, that I was the one to blame. Melody, however, argued that if I didn't, she wouldn't be alive today? If I really failed, I would've been scorned to the ends of the earth, perhaps even by the likes of those who had supported me initially. In the end, there was nothing for me to be ashamed about. Both of us knew that.

No, it wasn't shame.

Was it selfishness?

Perhaps. We were both selfish ponies, even from the very beginning. It was selfishness that brought us together; it was what made me stand up against Twilight the first time we had argued, and what Twilight attested upon to counter mine. It was my selfishness overwhelming hers that, as my conversation with Rainbow Dash had shed a little light upon, made her, the mare who had once lived through such an experience, halt our relationship indefinitely. Still, if that were true, if she viewed me as a selfish pony as well, then why would she even bother listening in if she viewed me that way? Why would she still care, as her parents adamantly claimed?

Perhaps it wasn't selfishness.

Was it fear?

That seemed like the right answer. It was my fear, first and foremost, that brought us to where we were. Above everything else, it was fear that gripped my hoof into handing in my resignation letter. It was fear for the monster that I was turning Twilight into that made me abstain from visiting her; in reciprocation for that perception, she forbade me from paying her a visit. However, I know now that the longer I was absent from her side, the more frightening of a monster she was turning into, inching ever closer to the abyss than she normally would. There's no doubt that I was truly afraid of what might happen if she took that malevolent leap of faith, though if I was really that afraid, I would've found a way to stop it. I would've rushed to her side and pulled her away from the cliff's edge.

It wasn't fear.

It wasn't anything, for there was nothing stopping us the whole time.

Amid the changing world, we tend to forget that change is always imminent. When I made the decision to resign, some part of me started to wonder the next day if such a decision was even good enough at all. Perhaps when Twilight stopped me from visiting her room as a result of my resignation, she might had some second thoughts the next day as well. If there was really anything to blame for all this lost time, it would've been our pride. To be born into affluent families and having ties to nobility ever since we were young, it was the pride ingrained in us from all those years that stopped from speaking up, from telling the other pony that it's alright, that I've changed my mind. With how much the two of us tend to swallow our pride around other ponies, it's funny that we always choked on it whenever we're around each other. We never realized how much we changed our thoughts about each other and, to go another step further, how much we changed each other. Even if we did, we'd be too proud to admit it.

Perhaps it's time one of us finally made the first move.

"Say if I went and pay her a... surprise visit... do you think... do you think she would want to see me?"

A pair of smiles, warm and wide.

"She would be delighted to," Mrs. Sparkle promised. "Thank you, Flash... really, thank you for doing this."

I felt a little guilty, having to sneak out of the party like that, though I'm sure the others would understand; I trust that Twilight's parents brief at least Rainbow Dash about the reason for my sudden absence. In this cold, tranquil night, I walked alone upon the trail trodden by all of Ponyville, away from the uproarious scene where all but a few gathered, seeking for the silence where she laid. She must be resting feverishly tonight, clinging tightly onto her sheets, dreaming of a paradise she would often wake up crying over. I would know that, having had a fair share of such nights myself, though I had at least the comfort of those around me. The princess was underprivileged in that regard, regrettably so.

"What should I say to her?" I thought aloud.

In this lonely night, among the empty abodes, the world held no answer. The nonsense whispered by the wind especially gave no regard for my desperation, picking up only to barrage me with a fistful of snow. Mrs. June did inform me of the weather schedule Cloudsdale had planned before I left— something about a potential storm system picking up southwest of the Everfree Forest that will be passing over the town before the night ends. She warned me how cold it would be, though after Yakyakistan, I doubt the winter could scorn me any more than that. Still, I found my thoughts wandering astray, instead pondering on something else that may just be what I need to make this cold night a little warmer for the both of us.

I have a promise to keep.









The dark waltzed with the light.

My vision swiveled, scrambling out of a blur. A fuzzing numbness resonated onto one of my hooves— I don't know which one, but I know it's there. I craned my ears, hoping for indulge in something else other than silence, only to be rewarded with muffled voices coming from an unlit corner. It was only when I shuffled about that I was graced with a rattle of chains, yanking my eyes towards my rear hooves bound to the legs of a chair. My hanging breath faltered into shuddering pants, my eyes frantically searching for any sense of familiarity that would be circling me, all in vain. It took me ten or so blinks to finally remember how I got here.

I must've slept sometime along the ride. That, or they somehow found a way to make it happen, I might never know how it was done. Quickly, I scanned what was essentially my prison; if I'm not too careful, it would become my tomb as well. I really wouldn't want to die here, in this decrepit-looking warehouse, surrounded by crumbling pillars and shelves of forgotten boxes, with a poorly orchestrated threnody derived from the irregular hums of a rusted generator made visible by moonlight streaming through the small windows dotted high in the walls. I'm a little too proud to find peace among grease and mold, thank you very much. Of course, it's not like I had any say in this whatsoever anyway.

"Had a good rest, I hope?"

Descending from a crumbling staircase, Cardinal Atelier looked giddy in morbid excitement. His body may never show it, though the feverish glint of his eyes proved otherwise. He was like a showmare being beckoned onto the stage for the first time, ready for his turn in the spotlight. My gaze soon drew to the balcony in the distance, where I could make out the distinct outlines of some ponies, brought here to see him usher in the so-called change that I was wrested to partake in. They must be the friends that he mentioned earlier, the ones that seemed to have carved their own sickening testaments and indoctrinated him somewhere down the line. For all I know, Mr. Atelier wouldn't have stood for this senselessness, though it was senselessness that ultimately won over paternal love in the end. It was senselessness that won over most of Equestria, to the point where even I once swayed to its malicious tune. Now, they have all gathered here, witnessing their next messenger's ascension to power.

"I really wish you did," he chuckled. "I did say we're gonna have a long talk, didn't we?"

I withstood the urge to spit in his face.

"You left out the part where you tie me to the fucking chair."

"You don't have be so bitter. There are some unnecessary risks that would come into play had we not do that." Cardinal knelt down, his domineering glance lowering to meet mine, his smile almost heartwarming. "Honestly, Flash, you're a sight for sore eyes," he spoke with a chilling tenderness. "We have a lot in common, you and I. You... you reminded me how I used to be, how naive I was. Back then, I would yearn for something great, though I would never imagine actually working to get it. It's nice, just dreaming about it, you know? You have to admit that happened to you, don't it? That one time, back when you're just a guard somewhere up north, when you and Twilight locked eyes for the first time? You fancied the idea of it, of her fawning over you."

My jaws tensed, my teeth grating behind my tightening lips.

"You must be wondering how I knew about that, aren't you?" he laughed. "We'll get to that in a bit, don't you fret. First things first, however..."

His stilted smirk started to widen.

"Let's talk about your father."

I glared at him with bated breath, my scorn for him pushing me to show my teeth. "What does he have to do with anything?" I rasped.

"Oh, I believe this meeting of ours has a lot to do with him. More than you think," he asserted. "One cannot agree upon how far Gallant Sentry's influence extends. Aristocracy, nobility, military— you name it. It was through that degree of influence that our fathers met and began forging their fast friendship. Without that, we would never have known each other."

"Maybe it might've been a good thing."

"Maybe it might've," he chimed, lips tightening at my thinly-veiled jab. "Still, I believe we can come to some sort of agreement, at least a compromise. Our fathers were good friends; I believe we can do the same, perhaps see eye to eye on certain things."

I remained silent; he took that as an answer.

"I want you to convince Princess Twilight to step down."

"Why?" I demanded.

"Because it's inevitable. Change, that is," he elaborated as he began pacing around. "Think about it: for millennia, Equestria had been under the rule of one. Today, it has been extended to four, yet deep down it's still all the same. The jurisdiction of every stallion and mare's way of life is in the hooves of the princesses. Only they have a say on what can be done and what shouldn't. Sure, we've had centuries of peace for a very long time, though many of us know that there are some things that the princesses should've done better in the recent past. Many more believe they could've, but didn't. One can't help but question their rule, about how long they would want to lead Equestria, whether they were really certain of where we're headed and how big of a threat we were in due to them having their own powerful enemies. It's about time that we, the common folk, finally have our say."

"So you decided to, what, kill her?" I snapped. "After all that Twilight did, all those years of protecting Equestria from everything else, after all she had done... you wanted to pay her back by trying to burn her alive in the hotel she was sleeping in?"

"It's not like we haven't tried anything else, Flash Sentry. Our fathers have tried for so long, to no avail."

"My father wouldn't have partaken in anything such as this." I could only scowl grimly at that sneer of his, that patronizing glint he had oh so confidently adopted, as if he knew any better. "You keep talking about how you want change," came my accusation. "It didn't make sense to me and it never will. I'll never understand why you would do something like that. Twilight... she wasn't even a princess a decade ago, yet... yet just because she became one, you all just went ahead and attacked her..."

"There were other variables in play, Flash," Cardinal had the audacity to tarnish those words. "In the end, there really is nothing personal. We did it to prove a point."

"To prove what? That you wouldn't hesitate to cripple and maim when it comes to change?"

Bullshit.

"You didn't do this for change," I spat. "This was never about change. This was about power. This was about wanting control of everything for yourselves, to do things as you see fit, to make an Equestria to your liking and only yours. You really think that after what you did to Twilight, the princesses are going to step down for you and every single pony would be grateful for what you've done?"

"They will come to realize the good of it, as did I."

Solemnity disfigured his proud veneer by the time he returned into my view, looking somewhat distracted. "I really wish you'd come to see what you might get from this," he said almost pleadingly. "Don't you want to usher in a new change? Don't you want to see a world without fearing another monster or disaster coming in to take all of that away? Don't you believe that we could be better off working together to make sure that fate would come into fruition? To lead us to a better world? All you need to do was just convince her to step down, that's all. After that, Twilight... Twilight will never be hurt again, nor will the other princesses, I promise."

If only for a moment, I understood. Beyond every hill and valley somewhere, there would lie turmoil; beneath every oasis and glade, there would lie peril. Underneath their rule, Equestria had seen dangers the likes of which had never been seen before, and the threats are growing ever larger. All that said, the princesses were being ignorant to such dangers, as 'they' believed, and are instead ruling to their hearts' content. I, for one, would not be certain about what the other princesses were like, but I understand that Twilight does not fit that mold. She was striving to make the lives of everyone better, however large of a mess they can be in. She was the one that allayed our fears and risked her life to defend our cities from everything that dared rampage across the country. Perhaps if she rescinded her powers to 'them', she might never need to face another King Sombra or Tirek ever again.

Perhaps if they had their say, Equestria might just be a safer place than it is today.

That's not what I wanted.

"Twilight would've been better off... maybe all of us would..." I began. "Equestria might've been a better place if all that happened. However, there's nothing wrong with Equestria as it is now. There's nothing wrong with what Twilight or the other princesses were doing. There might be danger, but that's just the way Equestria is. On the contrary, there is definitely something wrong if you think that the only way to change things as they are now was to make sure nothing stands in your way. There is definitely something wrong to bring about change from someone else's suffering. I don't want to be a part of any change that throws the life of another in harm's way, especially not the life of a mare that did not deserve any of it."

Disappointment glazed his eyes.

"So... it's a no then?"

"It's a no fucking way."

Cardinal Atelier could only offer a grimace. With everything said and done, he cantered back into the shadows, shaking his head all the while, before reemerging with revolver in hoof. The steel of its barrel gleamed, my breath hanging taut at that fiendish sight as he made his way back to me. Steadily, he brought the cold ring of the barrel up to my forehead, the circular, stinging chill eliciting from me a quiet gasp. What remains of my wavering spirit prompted me to look at him square in his cold, dead eyes, just as he let out a sigh gravid with despondency.

"I really hoped it didn't have to end this way, Flash Sentry," he grumbled, his weapon letting out a wary click. "Shame, really... we could've been great friends."

"Wait! Cardinal, please!"

It came from the balcony where the shadows watched. My blood curdled, my bones trembled, my eyes swelled in disbelief at the cry for mercy. Of course, I do not wish to pass up the offer to live another day, but for it to bear that voice... it was the voice crying out that was twisting another blade into my heart. I briefly prayed for it to be the trick of my ears, but when I saw its owner stepping into the clarity of the light, I could scarcely control my jaw from going slack. There was no mistaking whose voice that belonged to, for it was the voice that had graced me from back to the day I saw the first glow of light; it was the voice that had embraced me from back to the hour I developed my first fears of the night.

It was the voice that had advised me from back to the minute I learned about how disgusting was love at first sight.

"M-Mom...?"

Clementine Genoise Sentry rushed down the stairway, hesitating if only because she saw the look on my face. I could only look on in bubbling disbelief as she stepped between us, much to Cardinal's disdain. She and I could feel the eyes of the remaining ponies in the room pricking into her, though we both know that mine pierced her at her core. In that short moment, shock warped into malice, permeating from me despite all the tearful glances she had been stealing over her shoulder. I would've voiced out a desperate question or two, were it not for Cardinal suddenly raising his gun once again, this time pointing it right at my own mother.

"Do not believe for a moment that I would even hesitate, Mrs. Sentry," he warned grimly. "Step aside. Now."

"You promised!" she cried, not only to Cardinal but to everyone else as well. "You promised me that Flash will never get hurt, no matter what happens!"

"We've talked about this," he growled. "If Flash Sentry isn't willing to do it, if we couldn't convince your son to help us, he'll only become a liability. With all that had transpired, we can't afford any more risks."

"You never mentioned killing him!"

"We never mentioned anything because we expected everyone to know that getting rid of him is the only other option!"

"Even if you did that, what happens next?" she argued. "You kill him, what would you do then? You think his friends wouldn't realize that one day he just suddenly disappeared? You think that they wouldn't stop by just to check up on him?"

"We'll figure it out when we get there, Mrs. Sentry. Now, if you will..."

Vehemence was poignant in her stance, standing strong as a mother would for her son. It was honestly a first from her, though for it to come now only made me ever the more conflicted. I didn't know what to think, bewildered as I am, to see my very own mother, who had a part in Twilight's downfall, suddenly taking the other side. Cardinal, however, held no opinion of it, the notion of which was disclosed to me when he steadied himself, hoof garishly shivering as it descended upon the trigger, only to suddenly pull away. Instead, he followed my mother's airy sigh of short-lived relief by suddenly flipping over the revolver, his ribald grin only widening as he handed it to her.

"You do it then."

Horror disfigured confidence; shock distended courage. Cardinal gushed with sickening pride at the aftermath of what he had done, stepping back into the shadows and leaving us to bask in the light. With her back turned to me, I was left guessing in this stunning silence on what she might do, what other tricks she might pull out from her sleeve, until she started to turn around. My gaze, once jumping in reluctant joy, froze at the helplessness dancing in her eyes, before darting to the gleaming curves of the revolver as she shakily brought it up to me. My breath hung, my jaw partially agape, the sight of my very own mother turning the gun towards her only son... I didn't know where to begin. I didn't know what else to do, what else to say.

In my final moments, it's only fair that I'm given one more chance to speak my mind.

"W-Why?"

"I'm sorry, Flash..." she mewled.

"You... you knew that I loved Princess Twilight... you knew that from the very beginning..."

"If I had known—"

"If you had known? No, you knew! You knew what they were planning to do, you knew that they were... that they tried to kill her! All those months of... of being accused and ignored, of being spat at by every fucking pony I pass by... all those times you wrote to me, asking how I was doing, whether I needed anything... what were those, then? Just fucking lies?"

"Th-They weren't lies!" she openly wept. "I-I... I d-didn't think that ponies... that it would actually g-go that far, I'm sorry, I just—"

"What about Twilight? Was all that stuff you talk about her just lies as well?"

"No! I didn't—"

"We could've had a foal together!!" I yelled, tears dripping onto the concrete floor. "I could've been a father and... you and dad... you both would've been grandparents, yet... yet you took that away from us! You took that away from me! All because of what, to make a fucking difference?! I never asked for any of this to happen! Neither did she! Twilight and I... we just... we just..."

I couldn't even bring myself to say it.

We just wanted to be together.

Was it really too much to ask?

My mother feverishly held onto the gun, even as she was sniffling uncontrollably as well. She clenched her eyes shut, drew out a few quick gasps, before looking into my eyes once again. The tenderness of a mother was in her irises, tinged with so much guilt and regret that she knew she could never be forgiven for. No deity would forgive a pony for the murder of their children, and she knew perfectly well that repentance had long been forsaken from her. With a heavy heart and a heavier weight on her hooves, she gazed into my eyes once more, searching in me the foal that she had nursed and nurtured throughout the years. I never knew if she did find it, though judging from that smile, I reckoned that she did.

"Flash?"

Misty eyes drilled into her begrudgingly.

"I... I know that you'll never forgive me for everything that I've done and I would expect as such," she mumbled softly. "I just want to know that I love you, no matter what happens, no matter what you've done. You're my son, after all, and you always will be. Right now... right now, if you would listen, I just want to ask you to do one last thing for me..."

That was when she suddenly leaned in close to me, whispering something out of earshot from everypony else in the room.

"Trust me."

Suddenly, there was a whiz in the night.

In almost a split second came the cracking of glass, followed by guttural cries and hoarse screams. I was suddenly yanked backward my gravity, back slamming into my chair with a grunt as a myriad of bright lights began weaving in from the outside before I was dragged away, to the back of the shelves. The generator suddenly died down, plunging the entire room into a thick darkness. Chaos immediately erupted from all sides, the rumbling of hooves and the cacophony of gunfire filling my ears before I hear the unmistakable snap of chains. Quickly wringing my hoof free, I scrambled desperately onto my hooves, only to be met with the most comforting sight I have not seen in a figuratively long time.

"You okay, Flash?!"

"Pierce!" I yelled over the gunfire when I recognized my best friend, ducking from the bullets ricocheting overhead. "W-What's going on?! What's happening?!"

"Can't talk right now! We need to get you out of here!"

Before I knew it, a volley of bullets suddenly zipped towards our direction, sending sparks flying across the walls and splinters flying off the wooden boxes. A loud yelp made me turn around, only to pale when I saw Pierce tripping and falling onto the floor, hissing in anguish as he quickly brought a hoof to his side, just underneath his wing where a growing stain of red was beginning to form. Before I knew it, I swiftly scampered back to his side and, with his hoof around my shoulder, started lifting him up, his only acknowledgement of it being a pained groan as we hobbled together into safety outside. A rush of cold air met me as we emerged from the battlefield, relief washing over me when I noticed a group of guards stationed nearby.

"Over here!" I called out, a few of them quickly rushed over as I carefully laid him down on the grass. "Is he going to be alright?"

"I'll be f-fine," Pierce managed to gasp, wincing when one of the guards started to press down onto the wound. "Bullet barely... gah... grazed my artery... just hurts to fucking high heaven, that's all. Nothing a— fuck, too much pressure, too much... s-simple operation couldn't fix, I hope."

"He'll live," the guard tending to him affirmed. "We'll have a doctor over here at once."

With a nod, I turned back, steeling myself to charge back into the firefight once more. Some part of me was trying excessively hard to convince me that there's no reason to go back in there anymore, though my conscience knew that was anything else but true. I stopped at the last moment, however, if only because I saw her emerge from the front line, unscathed and worse for wear. Her eyes were wrinkled with fresh tears, her breath barely clinging onto her throat, only to wash it all out in a fit of gasps when she finally spotted me and rushed up to yank me into her grand embrace.

"F-Flash!"

My mother had cried in a way that she had not cried for a long time, or at least that's what I'm inclined to believe. In her tightening hold, I stood there, firm and steady, yet uncertain and wary, as I watched the turmoil of emotions unravel before me. There was nothing I could say to her, for the things I wanted to say were the things I couldn't bring myself to say, not after what I had learned. She had no need for words, however; just my very presence alone was enough of a comfort for her to indulge in, dampening my chest with her tears and babbling apologies for the world to hear. I could only stare down at Pierce, who could only weakly grin back at me, giving something that looked like a pained shrug. It really was something out of a movie if you think about it— me, standing there before a raging firefight in the warehouse, with my mother hugging me for dear life and my friend wounded on the ground, being tended to by the guards. To view such a glorious sight alone, one shrouded in ambiguity, much like the questions that were churning in my head, it really begs to wonder what good really came out of this. In the end, I believed there were some lessons that were learned, though that all were quick to deteriorate when I recalled the smile on a certain somepony's face.

How can I face her like this?